Quotes

The Boss Baby

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Tim: [about "Blackbird"] That's my special song! My parents wrote it just for me.
Boss Baby: Your parents are Lennon and McCartney?
Tim: No, Ted and Janice! You don't even know their names!

Tim: Can't we just share?
Boss Baby: You obviously didn't go to business school.

Tim: [regarding Baby Corp] So this whole place is run by babies?
Boss Baby: Yep.
Tim: My dad says "Those who can, do. And those who can't, supervise."
Boss Baby: Your father is a hippie.

[from trailer]
[at a conference with other babies]
Boss Baby: Put... that... cookie... down! Cookies are for closers!

Tim: The people of Long Island do not know how to make an iced tea.

Boss Baby: I can't do this without you, Tim. I need you.
Tim: I guess we DO make a pretty good team.
Boss Baby: No literally... I can't reach the doorknobs.

Tim: Even though I never went to business school I did learn to share in kindergarten. And if there isn't enough love for the two of us then I wanna give you all of mine.

Tim: You can't be fired from your own family. Can you?

Tim: You can talk!
Boss Baby: Uh, goo goo ga ga.
Tim: No, you can really talk!
Boss Baby: Fine! I can talk. Now let's see if you can listen. Give me a double espresso and find a place around here with decent sushi, I'd KILL for a spicy tuna roll right about now.
[gives Tim some money]
Boss Baby: Get yourself a little somethin'.

[repeated line]
Boss Baby: Fart! Poop! Doody!

Tim: [from trailer]
[about the baby]
Tim: Look at him! He wears a suit...
Mother: He's like a little man!
Tim: He carries a briefcase! Does no one else think that's, oh, I don't know, a little freaky?

Dad: Look, they have a puppy pool and everything!
Mother: [sarcastically] Isn't that sanitary?

Dad, Mother: [singing "Blackbird"] Blackbird singing in the dead of night / Take these broken wings and learn to fly / All your life / You were only waiting for this moment to arise.

[Tim and Boss Baby are riding a bicycle with training wheels, going after their parents, who are on their way to the airport, while being chased by Eugene]
Boss Baby: Tim, you gotta go faster!
Tim: I can't! I can't do it!
Boss Baby: Yes. you can!
[Leaps up onto Tim's shoulder]
Boss Baby: You've got it in you, Templeton. Now, eyes ahead. I said, eyes ahead, son! Buttocks up! Now, pedal like you mean it! Either you run the day, or the day runs you.
Boss Baby: [Tim pedals faster. Eugene almost catches them, but Boss Baby dodges his grasp, and they get further away] Good!
[the bicycle's training wheels break off]
Boss Baby: Uh-oh!
Tim: Woah! My training wheels! I can't ride without my training wheels!
Boss Baby: Whether you think you can, or you think you can't, you're right!
Tim: Aah! What are you talking about?
Boss Baby: The path to success is not a straight line, Templeton! But rather a wild ride, like a ship at sea. And you're a sea captain... taming a turbulent ocean!
[the scene transforms from a suburb to an ocean, with Tim and Boss Baby riding a boat]
Tim: I'm a sea captain, taming the ocean!
Boss Baby: [They evade the incoming 'whale'] Good!
Tim: Tree! I'm gonna hit it!
Boss Baby: Aim for failure, and you'll always succeed.
Tim: What?
Boss Baby: AIM AWAY FROM FAILURE!
[Tim steers away from the tree, the scene transforms back into a suburb backdrop]
Tim: I'm doing it, I'm doing it!
[They travel through a forest, with Eugene close behind who is smashing past trees]
Boss Baby: Once success is a habit, then it's all down...
Tim, Boss Baby: HILL!
[They ride down a hill. At which time, they see the car which their parents are in with Francis Francis]
Tim: Look! There they are! Mom! Dad!
[as the car passes the train crossing, a train passes by]
Tim: Train!
Boss Baby: Choo-choo!
Boss Baby: [They continue to approach the train crossing, with Eugene close behind] Templeton, stop!
[Tim notices a mold of sand at a construction site next to the tracks, he steers towards it]
Boss Baby: What are you doing?
[Tim pedals faster, the scene transforms into a ramp, with them riding a motorcycle, at the end of the ramp there is a ring of fire]
Tim: We're going to make it.
Boss Baby: But I don't have a quote for this!
[They jump, Boss Baby yells out 'Aaahhh'! And they make it, as the scene transform back into the 'real' world. Eugene crashes into the mold of sand, ending the pursuit]
Boss Baby: [to Tim] You did it!
Tim: No! We did it!
Boss Baby: And all without your training wheels.

Tim: Who ARE you?
Boss Baby: I'm the *boss*.

[after the end credits; the alarm clock goes off]
Wizzie: Wake up, little halflings. It's time to leave. Go and live your peasant lives.
[the background music goes higher]
Wizzie: [flailing his arms up and down] Be gone with you!
[fade to black]

Dad: Meet your new baby
[in slow motion]
Dad: brother.

Boss Baby: Tim, I may look like a baby, but I was born all grown up.
Tim: I can't even imagine not being a kid. You missed out on your whole childhood? You never had someone to love you?
Boss Baby: [yawning] Well, you can't miss what you never had.

Captain Ross: [Making an announcement] Ladies and gentlemen, and those in coach, please fasten your seat belts. We're about to take off.

Boss Baby: [in puppy costume] I've never been so humiliated in all my LIFE.
[dog sniffs costume's bottom part]
Boss Baby: Ugh!

Tim: [to Boss Baby] What if you go baby again?
Boss Baby: Don't worry. I'll be fine.
[Goes into normal baby mode]
Boss Baby: Fine, fine, fine...
[Slaps]
Boss Baby: ... fine!

Tim: What was Big Bossy Baby Lady screaming about?
Boss Baby: She's demanding actual results!

Boss Baby: Upsies! I need upsies!

[last lines]
Tim's Daughter: Daddy, is that a true story?
Adult Tim: Well, sweetie That's how I remember it. But you what I learned? There's plenty of love for everyone.
Tim's Daughter: Even me?
Adult Tim: Especially you. Just ask your uncle Ted.
Boss Baby: Hey there. I hear you're going to have a baby siter.
Tim's Daughter: I wanted a horse.
Boss Baby: Get yourself a horse.
[throws her money then turns to Tim]
Boss Baby: I'm proud of you, Lesley.
Adult Tim: Right back at you, Linsey.
Tim's Daughter: Hey there.
[stares at her new baby sister who wears a suit and looks like Boss Baby. She gasps and the baby winks]

Adult Tim: [Opening lines]
[Narrates]
Adult Tim: [Young Tim rustles through leaves in an imaginary jungle scene] Survival of the fittest. It's the law of the jungle. There's always someone trying to take what's yours.
[a comical blue gorilla sniffs a lantern and throws it, followed by a growl]
Adult Tim: And how do I know?
[Jumps down onto the jungle floor and screen freezes when Tim gets up]
Adult Tim: It almost happened to me.

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The Boss Baby

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