- The Captain: You're going to like this one... "The last capitalist we hang will be the one who sold us the rope." Karl Marx.
- Dimitry: Oh! Shit!
- The Captain: Growth for the sake of growth is the ideology of a cancer cell.
- Dimitry: Ah...
- The Captain: That's Edward Abbey.
- The Captain: Never argue with an idiot, they'll only bring you down to their level and beat you with experience. Mark Twain.
- Dimitry: Oh-oh... Okay.
- Dimitry: I have a joke. Do you know how to tell a communist? It's someone who reads Marx and Lenin. And do you know how to tell an anti-communist?
- The Captain: Uh-huh.
- Dimitry: It's someone who understands Marx and Lenin. Ha-ha! It's Ronald Reagan. Funny guy!
- [Quoting From Noam Chomsky's Book: How the World Works]
- The Captain: 'How people perceive themselves is nothing that interests me.. There are very few that are gonna look in the mirror and say: The person I see is a savage monster. Instead, they make up some construction that justifies what they do.'
- Lewis: [describing Carl's "grumpy" look] "Don't you dare talk to me. I'm an Aryan übermensch too obsessed with the image of myself to be involved with anyone or anything that doesn't fit my stylized image of the world. Wait! Suddenly I'm dressed in something way less expensive. It's H&M!"
- The Captain: Freedom in capitalist society always remains about the same as it was in ancient Greece. Freedom... for slave owners.
- Dimitry: I know. Vladimir Lenin! School.
- [Switching on Tannoy]
- Dimitry: Say it again!
- The Captain: 'My government murdered Martin Luther King, Malcolm X, Bobby Kennedy, and John F. Kennedy.. My government overthrew good, honest, democratic leaders of the people in Chile, Venezuela, Argentina, Peru, El Salvador, Nicaragua, Panama, and Bolivia. Along with Britain, we carved up the Middle East, creating artificial geographical boundaries and installing puppet dictators.'
- The Captain: 'War itself became our most lucrative industry. Every bomb that's dropped, somebody makes a million dollars. You don't have to know where those bombs are exploding. You don't have to see the grieving mothers and the mangled bodies of their children.'
- The Captain: 'Eugene Debs gave this speech in Canton, Ohio, in 1918: "Throughout history wars have been waged for conquest and plunder... The master class has always declared the wars. The subject class has always fought... They've taught you to believe it to be your patriotic duty to go to war and to have yourselves slaughtered at their command... When Wall Street says war, the press says war."'
- Lewis: So is this runway casting for a grumpy brand or a smiley brand?
- Carl: Er, i don't know, man. I don't know.
- Lewis: Well, smiley brands are the cheap ones, and the more expensive the brand gets, you start to look down on your consumer. Like, if you want to be a part of this "von oben" one - man in crowd, you have to show us some serious cash.
- Casting Jury: Can you relax your triangle of sadness? Like between your eyebrows here? A little bit more. OK. And open your mouth so you look a bit more available. OK, not that much, a little bit less.
- Carl: So, what business do you have together?
- Winston: Oh, it's a family business. Producing products in precision engineering.
- Carl: What do you manufacture?
- Winston: Well, our products have been employed in upholding democracy all over the world.
- Carl: What product is that?
- Winston: Basically, our best selling product is the hand grenade.
- Carl: Sorry, the what?
- Clementine: The hand grenade, dear.
- Dimitry: Ronald Reagan, he said also, "Socialism works only in heaven where they don't need it, and in hell where they already have it."
- The Captain: That's... that's pretty good.
- Dimitry: Yeah?
- [Reading From His Notebook]
- The Captain: 'And I recall, I was seven years old walking into the kitchen to find my mother crying inconsolably: Martin Luther King had been shot. Two months later, she was crying again: Bobby Kennedy was killed. I couldn't know then what I know now, that the invisible thread connecting Martin Luther King, the Kennedy brothers, and Malcolm X, was that in each case, my government had their finger on the trigger.'
- Dimitry: Wait. Wait!
- Dimitry: Okay. A classic. "The most powerful single force in the world today is man's eternal desire to be free and independent." Kennedy.
- The Captain: Okay.
- Yaya: What? I don't know, you looked like you were thinking there.
- Carl: No, I'm not. I'm not. Cool.
- Yaya: I can tell there's something's wrong. Just talk to me, what is it?
- Carl: No, it's just... when you say... When you say, "Thank you, honey" like that... You don't really give me an option but to pay. It was just an observation. Just something I've noticed.
- Yaya: We can split the bill if you like.
- Carl: No, no...
- Yaya: I can whip out a calculator...
- Carl: No, no, okay.
- Yaya: How many glasses of wine did you have?
- Carl: Oh sure, oh sure...
- Yaya: You had, like, three more.
- Carl: Ok. That's not what I mean. That's not what I mean.
- Yaya: Yeah, I think it all evens out, you know.
- Carl: Don't remember last night? You said you were gonna... You said you were gonna pay for food today. At the end of the meal, you said, "Thanks. Tomorrow I'll get it".
- Yaya: Sure, but then you picked up the bill, and I thought you wanted to pay, so I said, "Thank you, honey."
- Carl: Ok, but it was there for such a long time...
- Yaya: I didn't see it.
- Carl: You didn't see it?
- Yaya: No, er... No, I didn't. I didn't see it. Or I didn't notice it. We were just having a nice dinner.
- Carl: You didn't see the bill when it got put on the table?
- Yaya: No, I didn't Carl.
- Carl: So the waiter came in, and put it in the middle of the table just there. And you didn't happen to see it?
- Yaya: Oh my God!
- Carl: What? I'm asking you seriously now, because...
- Yaya: Wow!
- Carl: What's... What's "wow"?
- [she leaves the table]
- Carl: What are you doing? No, no, no. Just don't... Wait. Can you sit down? Sit down.
- Yaya: I'm just trying to figure out what exactly I did wrong! Seriously?
- Carl: Calm down. Please, just sit down.
- Yaya: You're fighting over money!
- Carl: No! That's not what's...
- Yaya: That's literally what's happening.
- Carl: I'm just pointing out the fact that...
- Yaya: Why are you so obsessed with money?
- Carl: I'm not obsessed. Can you just sit down, please? I'm not obsessed with money. It was just an observation from yesterday. Can you please sit down?
- [she returns to the table]
- Carl: When it comes to you and me, we're dealing with roles that I hate. I don't want to be the man whilst you're the woman. I want us to be best friends.
- Yaya: I don't wanna sleep with my best friend.
- Carl: No, that's not... You don't understand what I'm trying to say. I mean... we shouldn't just slip into the stereotypical gender roles that everyone else seems to be doing. I want us to be equal.
- Carl: The thing is, Yaya, I like to take you for dinner. I enjoy paying for you. But there comes a point where I do feel used.
- Yaya: I use you?
- Carl: Well, I'm just referrng to my feelings now, but sure, if we... No, no. Just wait. If we go back the last week or so, then, yeah, maybe there is a point.
- Yaya: Are you being serious? I got you this shirt. I invited you for dinner. You're staying at my hotel.
- Carl: Well, you got this shirt for free. And actually you didn't pay for dinner.
- Yaya: That's because my credit card didn't work. There's a cash machine in the lobby. I'll pay you back every last cent.
- Carl: D'you know... it's okay.
- Yaya: Carl, I always intended to pay you back. I didn't realize you wanted the money right now before going to bed.
- Carl: So your intention was to pay me back?
- Yaya: Yes.
- Carl: Really?
- Yaya: Yeah.
- Carl: So why did you take the 50 Euro bill? Once I realized you didn't have enough cash, I paid the bill. And instead of giving me the 50 Euro bill, you put it back in your purse. What? I'm just saying what happened, Yaya.
- [she puts money in his clothes]
- Carl: What are you...? Don't! What the fuck are you doing? Don't fucking do that to me! Don't... fucking do that to me, Yaya! Don't do that to me! Don't fucking shove things down me! You fucking child!
- Yaya: Seriously... you're behaving like a crazy person.
- Carl: Shut up! Don't do things like that to me!
- Yaya: [Carl shoves the money inside the elevator door passage] What the hell are you doing with my money?
- Carl: YOUR money? Oh my God! It's not about money, Yaya! It's not about... It's not about the fucking money, Yaya!
- Yaya: Oh!
- Carl: This is... No, it's not! You're not understanding the point. It's not about the money! I'll give you that 50 Euros! I'll give you a 100 Euros!
- Yaya: Oh yeah?
- Carl: No! I'm serious now! This is not about the fucking money! Why won't you understand it? Understand my point! This is not about the money!
- Yaya: Oh my God! Okay, okay.
- Carl: I want it to be equal, Yaya!
- Abigail: One for you. One for me. One for you. One for me. One for you. One for me. One for you. One for me. One for you. One for me. One for you. For me. For you. For me. For you. For me.
- Dimitry: Listen: "The problem with socialism is that you eventually run out of other people's money." Margaret Thatcher.
- Dimitry: Karl Marx wrote "The Communist Manifesto" So you are a communist.
- The Captain: No! No! There's a difference.
- Dimitry: In materialism you believe in theory. You are an idealist.
- The Captain: I'm not angry with you, it's just like Karl Marx said: "Anything human is not alien to me." And I understand that your greedy behavior is just the result of your position in a financial hierarchy. That you're rich but you can't be rich and expect the rest of the world to be poor. And while you're swimming in abundance, the rest of the world is drowning in misery. That's not the way it's meant to be. And I know you have a good heart in there, somewhere. You filthy, capitalist, Russian pig. You have a good heart. You're not just a crazy Russian... shit seller. I'm not a great. I'm a shit socialist because I have too much. I have too much abundance in my life. I'm not a worthy socialist. I'm a shit socialist.
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