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Reviews
Leo (2023)
Please stop making fun of allergies
I swear, all of these animated films that make fun of food allergies are going to age worse than Gone With the Wind. There are many jokes to make about having food allergies that do not dismiss the allergy. Yet every single movie has failed on this front. With the millions of people who suffer from allergies every year, you would think these bullies would learn. But they don't. This demographic has been consistently undeserved and mocked. Hopefully the tide will turn soon. Do not watch or support this film. Clearly, we need more people to speak up or Hollywood will never understand. So I'll shout into the void, hoping someone will listen.
A New Leaf (1971)
Comedies are supposed to make you laugh.
I can suffer through bad drama. It's easier to forgive bad acting when it is dramatic. But poorly done comedy is the most painful thing to watch. Especially when I know how funny Walter can be. It's too slow to be zany, too little of dialogue to be witty, and too awkward to be heartfelt. The proposal scene is funny on YouTube, but by the time the film reaches that point, it has run out of steam and is only midly amusing. With only 7k ratings, no wonder it is so high. The more people watch this movie, the lower the score will get. It is written, directed, and acted poorly. The only thing clever about it, is the title.
Kevin James: Irregardless (2024)
Get Off my Lawn!
Somehow Kevin James went from the self depreciating sense of humor, to the approach that kids these days are lazy and parents are wimps. It's a bunch of old and tired rants about drinking from the garden hose and getting whipped with the belt by your old man. And then just an overly long complaint about how his wife talks too much. But the sad truth is that these jokes are as lazy as this next generation. There were very few personal stories here, and each punchline was stretched to make the material last an hour. There were no jokes about food, or material about going bald, or losing weight. I finished it out of respect for Kevin James because he's made me laugh so hard through the years that he's earned it. But sadly, there was nothing special or very funny about this new material. It needed to be retooled and polished before the special was made.
The Boy, the Mole, the Fox and the Horse (2022)
Slow, pretentious, and hollow.
This is an incredibly slow short film. Though it's only half an hour, it feels longer. Not much happens, and all the characters talk as if they are college students after their first semester of poetry and philosophy. Don't get me wrong, the animation is lovely, the music is great, and the voices are tender. But the sweetness is all so hollow. They tell the boy that he is known and loved, and put here for a reason, but without attributing this to God, it all falls rather flat. There are no reasons behind it. The plot meanders and makes no sense, and the whole thing feels like a humanist sermon.
Imperfect Union (2007)
The best unaired pilot I've ever seen.
Look, if Zacharly Levi had to bail on this project and go do Chuck, I understand. Chuck was a pretty awesome show. But if TBS just straight up passed on this, they made a horrible mistake. This pilot is clever, hilarious, and super upbeat! Maybe it was too clean and wholesome for cable, but seriously, you should check this out on YouTube. It's got a great story, the chemistry is there, directing is great. It's solid. We don't get a lot of shows about blue collar workers, let alone factory workers, nor do we get shows that harken back to classic Capra classicism. I would love to see this script stretched out into a rom-com feature film. Lots of potential.
Inherit the Wind (1960)
As subtle as God's Not Dead
Melodramatic, as subtle as a sledgehammer, and just as one sided as God's Not Dead. I couldn't even make it to the trial. Everyone over delivered their lines, the directing was bizarre, and it completely misrepresented the Scopes trial to comment on the McCarthy trials. I love old films, but this one has aged like milk. As a Christian, I wasn't even offended by the depiction of Christians. I just felt sorry that the filmmakers had clearly never met one because I know zero Christians who talk, act, or behave like that. Somebody needed to tone down the theatrics and actually make this feel like a film and not a propaganda piece.
Father of the Bride (2022)
More like a funeral than a wedding
This is the third Hollywood production of Father of the Bride, and it is by far, the worst of them. Not because it isn't about a white family. Andy Garcia is an amazing actor, and his gravely voice is perfect for narration. But like everything else in this movie, he is wasted. Let's start with the story. I loved the idea of having Andy and his wife trying to hide the fact they are getting divorced a secret. Secrets are key to comedy. However, this gets so much screen time that the entire relationship between Father and Daughter does not get enough time to properly develop. We see glimpses of what could have been. The dominoes scene for example. But the special moment where the band plays the special song for the father-daughter dance means nothing to the viewer because we did not hear this song earlier in the movie. None of the moments were earned because there was no setup for the payoff. The only callback that worked was when Andy and Gloria are dancing and he references the "ground rules" they set earlier. Andy is said to be busy with work, and neglecting Gloria, yet we only see him working once during the movie, and all he is doin is an interview for a magazine. He should have been AWOL during a lot of the wedding plans so we could see he puts work before his family. The green screens were terribly done and obviously fake. The cinematography was way too bright with zero shadows which made the whole thing look cheap and uninteresting. While the Steve Martin version has a killer soundtrack, this seemed to be scored with royalty free jazz instrumental and nothing more. Gloria should have sung at the wedding, preferably in a tender moment toward Andy, but once again the moment was wasted. While it is easy to just dismiss the underdeveloped plots and say they did not have time, the slow pace of the edit suggests otherwise. And the attempt at the long oner shot where they get ready for the wedding is a clue to the vibrant energy this film could have brought. The film leaned too heavily into the agenda that the "older generation must step aside and get with the times" near the end. This was very disappointing since one of the characters literally asks "if they won't keep our traditions, who will?" I think there was a good movie in there, somewhere. The trailer was good enough to suggest that it had potential. But throw in an unnecessary lesbian subplot that was poorly executed, and you have neither side happy. At the end of the day, there is a reason it was a streaming original. It feels cheap, looks cheap, and the finished product is mediocre.
Bringing Up Bates (2015)
So relatable
As a Homeschooler, I have never felt more represented in media than I do with this show. I love the closeness of the family, the strictness but with unconditional love and grace. The sense of humor is great, and everyone is just so dark likeable. This show has more characters than Donwton Abbey, and while it can be difficult to remember them all, each one has such a unique personality. If you are tired of everything being rated Mature, and every reality show about bickering, miserable people, this is a breath of fresh air. It has been a blast to see the whole family grow up, fall in love, and keep the bonds of family strong!
Family Camp (2022)
Allergic reactions are never funny.
At this point, I don't know how people cannot know someone who has life threatening allergies. And yet Sony Animation films and Family Camp still think that this is funny. Not only was the scene unrealistic of when you need an EpiPen, but it was also offensive and triggering to anyone with allergies. On the plus side, most people probably didn't even make it far enough into the movie to that scene. It is filled with forced awkward humor with very few actual punchlines. A complete ignorance of how chiropractors work, and an all around lowball sense of humor. I could tell they were trying to have a good message, but they should have stuck with the two characters already knowing each other. Much like a good Abbott and Costello film, they needed the chemistry of being friends, not enemies. What a waste of some good talent and beautiful scenery.
Mr. Malcolm's List (2022)
Wholesome and wonderful
First off, colorblind casting is actually the opposite of being woke, because race is never brought up. It has no bearing on the plot. It is simply a fresh way to get diverse people excited about an Austen esque story. The acting is superb, and the story is simple but enjoyable. Much like Downton Abbey, the story is nice escapism that makes you wish people still talked and lived so purely. It is funny, romantic, and filled with colorful (pun intended) characters. The camera work, while never experimental, stabilizes the film in its simplicity. The writing is sharp, and feels like it is based on a classic, rather than a new novel. You can spend 2 hours watching much worse than this. I Highly recommend!
The Courtship of Eddie's Father (1963)
Tonal whiplash
This movie does not mix comedy and drama, but instead alternates, leaving a jumbled mess of a picture. Despite little Ron Howard being near perfect, the music is comical in dramatic moments, and cuts down any good performance. Scenes move too slowly, then fights escalate too quickly. It's all just so wrong! In the end, Glenn Ford proposes to his neighbor by basically saying that he was always tempted to have an affair with her while his wife was alive, and he thinks she would have too. So now, they should get married. Who would have thought that Glenn Ford, Ron Howard, and Jerry Van Dyke could make such a bad picture.
For Love & Country (2022)
Could have told 2X the story.
It was just too ephemeral for me. Everytime the story started to pick up, we cut to a long shot with ambience. It was so slow and artsy, that you could have told twice the story with the running time. Also, there was no Darius Rucker, and Kane Brown got just one short shoutout. Could have been so much better.
Rise (2022)
Disney made a Christian movie?
American Underdog was good, but let's face it. There wasn't much faith in that movie. Rise actually shows more prayer and openness about faith in God. The family is exactly the kind you want to emulate, and the morals and values are exactly what you want your kids to learn. This is a beautiful film made with Nigerian actors and directed by a Nigerian Filmmaker. It is a great cross between independent films, and Disney's inspirational sports films. It's wholesome, enjoyable, and uplifting.
Treasure Lies (2020)
Come for the bad acting, stay for the story.
Yes, the acting is quite bad. I was laughing my way through the first, but then something happened. Between Brett Varvel's sharp direction, and the sweet heart of the story, you begin to really enjoy it. And the last few twists in the story are really fun!
8½ (1963)
Too long, and too weird
At times this movie really takes off, and apart from the obnoxious out of sync dialogue, is really enjoyable. But like the characters in the movie acknowledge, this story is not relatable and it is a bunch of nostalgic meanderings without a clear focus. It is chaotic, sometimes annoying, and other times meaningful. Basically, it is a hot mess that is half of a masterpiece. And other half amateur.
Red Dog (2011)
Finally a dog film for men.
I'm just gonna say it. If a dog is a man's best friend, then why are there so many chick flicks about dogs? Most dog films are for children and grandmas. But this film is all about a group of blue collar men gathered in a pub, swapping stories about a mangy dog who changed their lives. And it is quite moving.
Ladri di biciclette (1948)
Good, but not great
It's slow, decently acted, and the locations are interesting enough to keep your attention, but the plot is too thin. Could have been a great short. It doesn't deserve to be among the list of the greatest films purely from a technical perspective. The sound is off, some noises were never added, and there are moments where the film jumps ahead. Why Italian movies always dubbed in the dialogue later I'll never know.
Sleeper Agent (2020)
Elderly people falling is not a joke
While I really enjoy Leland Klassen as a comedian and actor, the script was offensive. They make repeated jokes about an elderly man falling down stairs. I couldn't finish the film. The plot had potential, but the low budget music and forced awkward silences showed the filmmaker's inexperience. Some of the gags were a good idea, but poorly executed. Jokes about dementia and the elderly have to be handled with more nuance and heart, while these seemed cold and distant. Would not recommend.
The Old Man & the Gun (2018)
An instant classic!
This is a nearly perfect movie. The directing, writing, music, acting and costume design is all superb. But this is more than just an art film. It is very accessible as entertainment (something a lot of artsy movies fail to do.) It is funnier than you expect it to be, more poignant, and just like it's lead, charming. It also happens to have one of my favorite last lines of a movie. And quite possibly, the greatest last line of an actor.
John Hunt: Are you okay?
Forrest Tucker: I think I'm about to be.
Guava Island (2019)
Not fun enough.
This is without a doubt an attempt at creating "art" rather than entertainment. But it's enjoyable. Though Donald Glover is an actor who can sing, he seems to be more a singer trying to act in this and I don't know what happened. His character is the hero of the tale, but he doesn't have as much charisma as I wanted. It is played way too seriously and too political, when the content and songs come across more like a kids musical. There are only a few S words, and a handful of H words. In the end, it would have been better if it was a full length movie with some singing by Rhianna and some jokes.
The Gazebo (1959)
A hidden gem!
I am baffled with this film is not talked about. Debbie Reynolds is amazing in this film, and Glenn Ford is like you've never seen him before. If you truly want to see an actors range, watch this, then Gilda and be blown away. Ford is very underrated and so is this film. It is fast paced, hilarious, and has a brilliant ending.
The Third Man (1949)
Too much style, not enough substance
Between the loud zither music and the comic book angles on almost every shot, the movie begins to dip in quality. While the plot is decent, and most of the acting is good, there is only one big twist and you see it coming a mile away. Having said that, Orson Welles gives a masterful performance and if you can stick around till he appears, it's worth it.