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iZombie (2015)
Probably better than you are expecting it to be
On the surface, and even an episode or two in, this show looks like just another serial crime solving show with a bit of a "zombie" twist to it. That is not really what the show is about and by the midpoint of the first season that pretense is still there but almost as a side note. It does not follow that formula at all beyond the pilot and when you watch it the netflix way you wont notice episodes that do follow the format because there is a lot more going on. The brain eating power theme plays more into the development of the main characters reacting to the new personalities and the actual crime solving comes in brief flashes and serves more to protect the main characters cover with certain other characters than to achieve any plot relevance. At times it contributes to the over arching plot but the "crime of the week" formula is not a factor here.
I watched the first episode when it came to netflix and I had quite a few complaints, leaving the rest of the series to show up in my continue watching list for about a year and a half before eventually being bored enough to give it a second chance. I really dont like the format where the same thing happens every week with a few sprinkles of character development and flavour added sparingly so as to drag out a story. That is what I expected and in the first few episodes that is pretty much what I got.
It does not take long however for that format to be shattered. It transitions from CSI to BTVS in very short order and becomes essentially the antithesis of those formulaic bore-fests. It would be more accurate to say its a "personality of the week" show with a continuous plot. Each week a slightly different character forwards the same plot that has been running from episode 1.The characters are real, consistent and fairly well defined. Its one of those shows where characters dont just do what they are needed to do to advance the plot. There are no "The smart/cool/funny one" characters, every character has their own broad personality and acts accordingly which is a major strength of the show. Very little seems contrived.
The show is excellently written but I think the direction leaves a bit to be desired. It only comes down to moments, and generally the ones that are supposed to be lighthearted and less significant, but there are some stage directions that absolutely stink of a 14 year old with a new camera tying to make a shoestring blockbuster. One major annoyance I have is that zombie characters often cartoonishly lick their lips when about to eat some brains. Its as if to say "hey everybody, I'm a zombie so I really like eating brains". It comes off about as subtly. The first time its a joke, by season 2 they using it as the go to tool to indicate that the person in question is a zombie now/is hungry. No character licks their lips in this way for any other type of food in the show, no human in the show does this at any point for anything and no person ever does this in real life unless they are being dramatic and making an intentional signal to someone. This one thing sticks out as the thing that instantly takes you out of the story for a few minutes while your brain switches from "this storyline" to "this method of communicating important information to the viewer" and then back into "this storyline".
That is just an example but there are a few creative choices that were taken, and you can tell they are supposed to add to the comedy side of the show, but a few of them just dont play well. Its as though the performances and the characters are so well played and written that the safety net that was included just in case looks really gaudy along side content that has no need for it whatsoever.
Overall, you only have to sit through an episode or two before a plot actually emerges. Once it does you can forget about the "crime of the week" format. There still has to be something for the characters to do in each episode but dont expect any resets.
Landmine Goes Click (2015)
Could have been the movie from all the cast reviews, but it isn't
A number of reviewers have already voiced their concern at the number of 9 star reviews gushing praise upon this movie. Clearly those are not honest reviews but that should not be enough to put someone off viewing.
The premise is interesting and while the execution is mixed in parts the movie as a whole still works. If you can see past a few face palm moments there is a payoff to be had.
The impression is that the script was written in one night and that some scenes were done in one take. The natural parts flow naturally but there is clearly and end point that the plot must be strictly aligned with and the narrative cant seem to find natural ways to get us there. The result is that the story does keep ticking towards that end point and the tension is managed brilliantly but at a few key points certain actions decisions or outcomes will make absolutely no sense.
As an example, a character may be told to do something ridiculous, they will protest a little and then just do it anyway. Each time they will give a little justifying comment "its only xxx", "we may as well", "it will probably work out this time" etc. This gets particularly bad as it goes on. It starts off with a few excusable forces but gets out of hand rather unapologetically
The movie also seems a little too self aware, there is quite a lot of dialogue where characters explain a little too much and there are a few scenes thrown in just to clarify particular points without really adding anything to the end product. There is also a knock on effect on some of the acting as the characters try to get through the unnatural scenes as naturally as possible.
If you know anything about the movie going in then you know the basic premise and that is pretty much all the movie is about. Everything else is just the necessary leg work that makes a 9 star short film into a 5 star feature film. There is a gem of a movie to be found here if you can find it but you need to look past a few very silly moments.
Next (2007)
A perfect snapshot of 2007 in bad movie tropes
I gave this movie a 2-star review not because it is truly awful, but because it doesn't deserve the rating that it "deserves". As a standalone movie, if it were made in 1997 for example, it would be pretty good. The real disdain for this movie comes from its cheapness.
They really tried hard to cram as much popular tropes as they could into this movie. It is pure cheese, and extremely difficult to take seriously as a result.
The title for a start, a single word which is supposed to convey a sort of intrigue and a coolness while giving a bit of a hint towards the story to me seems like the laziest part. "next", ie the ability to foresee "what will happen next" I guess sounded cooler than "happen" "what" or "will" and so got used in an attempt to capitalize on the popularity of shows like "lost", "24" etc. The result is a really stupid title, which completely suits the movie.
The plot itself is pretty standard, and extremely contrived. I wont go into detail due to spoilers but the movie builds on hype and false drama to a point where there is no possible resolution.
In general, the movie sacrifices realism to look cool, plays off every cliché it can, builds the stakes at every opportunity and cheaps out massively when it comes to resolution. It tries very hard to look like a movie that makes you think, but it doesn't try very hard to make you think.
Its a cheep generic action movie and if you don't hold it accountable for its plot line it is watchable. However this movie is extremely cheep. It looks as though it was made to sell based on a cool trailer and replicating other popular media trends. Its The Da Vinci code meets Minority Report starring Nicolas Cage.
Sex Pot (2009)
Really bad, like plan 9 bad
If you made this movie with your mates using your iPhone, you would not show it to anyone for fear of the humiliation.
There are no real jokes, and events rarely make any logical sense. Its very unlikely that anything was cut out either, and a lot of scenes give the impression that they were done in a single take without any formal script. Just to give an idea of the low production quality, there are lines where you can clearly see the actors forgetting what they are supposed to say, pausing, and then sort of improvising it. They borrow their jokes, some even from youtube videos but tend to leave half of it out, so you just get a punchline you cant understand(unless you remember the original joke).
The movie logic is contrived also(I cant even call it a plot). There is a sense that the characters are sometimes saying "I should hate you right now, but the next scene requires us to be friends so we are now friends, for no reason". Its like they were so eager to get specific references or gags in that they did not put enough effort into transitioning them. Expect every scene to follow the pattern(no spoilers): Guy 1: Hey, lets go to xxxxx Guy 2: OK Scene:Gag then some standing around Guy 1: Hey, lets go to xxxxx Guy 2: OK Scene: Gag etc
The writing is very questionable, I would question if any of it were ever on paper or just a general idea and word of mouth. Word for word, maybe 20% of the entire script is one of: dude, man, generic f-bomb. It really feels like it was written and shot at the same time, shot for shot, line for line. It will not be clear what is happening at points, a result of trying too hard put zany gags in awkward places and set up scenes lazily. Scenes are too long. Its as though they didn't know how to progress the story at times so nothing happens, for a while, and then there is a random subject change.
Weed is treated like a 13yr old whose older brothers friends gave him some weed once would act around it. Like if you saw a stranger wearing a bob Marley tee shirt you would try to "high 5" them and make "thumbs up" and smoking gestures while pulling a de niro face. Not hilarious, just sad. The gratuitous shots are more pervey than most and the sex is very pubescent-fantasy-esque. Most of the sex is also self administered, so be forewarned.
Its actually worth watching(a few clips will do) just to see how bad it actually is, but do not dare to give it money or you will hate yourself.
Legend of the Seeker (2008)
Lots of slow mo, but a good series
This TV show is what we call watchable. There is a lot of slow motion, maybe too much, but if you watch the first few episodes and don't hate it you will enjoy the series. The series doesn't really hit its stride until a few episodes in so don't be too quick to judge. The biggest problem with this series that its around 30% slow motion shots. This works for most of the battle scenes, but some shots seem way over the top. Ocasionaly, you may feel as though you are watching one of those series that throws realism out the window in favor of making everything seem uber-dramatic and epic. Expect characters to do a few twirls in between attacks and use a big kick now and then. Im 7 episodes in and I no longer notice how much the camera slows down, unless its a trivial scene. The story, setting, and characters are good. The writing needs a bit of inspiration and the acting is a bit stiff. I like running story lines rather than stand alone episodes, Legend of the seeker finds a workable mix. A good series makes the viewer react to the action, often by leading the characters to incorrect conclusions while providing more information to the viewer. That is to say, the viewer knows there is a trap/betrayal and the protagonist does not. The protagonist then spends the episode going the wrong direction while the viewer urges them backward. Legend of the seeker rarely lets anything build and usually sees the characters overcome any obstacle rather quickly. there always seems to be a backup plan or a power they haven't used yet that fits the situation perfectly. The series holds your hand most of the way through. It is a bit average at times but, if you let it grow on you, you will get hooked.