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Reviews
Onechanbara: The Movie (2008)
Zombies, bikini babes, and swordplay...what could be better than that?
Based on the video games, this movie version has its good and bad points. The premise is fairly simple. We have Eri Otoguro, bikini, katana, and not much else, dispatching zombies left, right, and center, as she searches for her sister.
Then there is the doctor who's managed to revive the dead, hence the zombie infestation. Both sides meet, and guess which side wins?
Overall, not bad, but there are a couple of problems with this flick. One, after the initial swordfight--which is fun, in its own way--the pacing is slow and the direction isn't very inventive. The family drama of the sisters meeting each other isn't that well played out, and there's never any reason given why our bikini-clad heroine is dressed that way. (Not that I'm complaining, but still...).
On the plus side, Ms. Otoguro is gorgeous, the swordplay is over the top and inventive enough to make the viewer believe that she can handle a katana well, and the action, when it comes, is fast and bloody. There's also the role reversal of Ms. Otoguro being the samurai master (actually mistress), and her retainer is a fat dude (a comedian, IRL) who's her confidante and follows her faithfully. Not a bad idea, really.
Overall, it's a fun watch if you don't take it seriously. Skip the sequel, though. The lead actress is gorgeous, but she can't act, and the screenplay was pretty much non-existent.
Lepke (1975)
Not bad, but inaccurate
Lepke traces the beginnings of Louis Lepke Buchalter from his days as a child thief to his eventual demise at the hands--or feet, if you will--of Old Sparky.
Pros: Tony Curtis gives an excellent performance as Lepke, conveying charm as well as ruthlessness. The other actors involved also give decent performances, particularly Milton Berle as Lepke's father-in-law.
As for the cons, the period sets don't look authentic. There was a big change in the streets and nightclubs from the 1920's to the 1940's in New York--not in this movie. Additionally, it's shown that Jack "Legs" Diamond was murdered by a contract killer, an ice pick in his ear. Nope. He was murdered in bed by at least three people. I guess killing him the old-fashioned way wasn't colorful enough for the producers.
Altogether, the film is fun to watch, buoyed by Curtis' performance, even though he doesn't age very much during his rise and eventual fall. But it's hardly accurate.
Sous la Seine (2024)
Sharks swim, dumb people are in the way...guess what happens next?
Okay, while this movie is full of cliches--oceanologist loses her husband and deals with PTSD, bureaucrats are idiots who fail to recognize the danger, and dumb people jumping in the water when they know darn well they're gonna get et--it does have a lot of things going for it. For one, the acting is quite good. The lead actress comes across as being most believable, and the supporting cast does well.
The action, when it comes, is fast, bloody--shark attacks ain't bloodless--and nasty. If the director wanted to shock the audience, he did a pretty good job of it.
As for the direction and music, solid. Not spectacular, but solid.
Drawbacks are that the movie lags in the middle, the environmental message is laid on too thickly, and the movie's a tad too long. Still, it had a solid ending.
People are calling it the 'French Jaws' and that's not a bad description. It'll never top the Spielberg classic, but it's a watchable flick.
Urutoraman Mebiusu ando Urutora kyôdai (2006)
Fun all the way!
Done on the fortieth anniversary of the birth of the Ultraman franchise, I wonder if Eiji Tsubaraya knew how big a phenomenon he'd created. Maybe so.
Retro is cool, old is new, and nostalgia rules. That's what we get in this film. The film literally starts off with a bang as Ultraman, Ace, Jack, and Taro, fight Yapool, one of the worst of the worst monsters around, on the moon, and they pursue him to Earth where they imprison him under the sea, but they also sacrifice part of their powers in doing so.
Jump forward a number of years. Ultraman Mebius in the guise of Mirai Hibino is now Earth's protector, but Yapool (eventually called U-Killersaurus) emerges from his prison and sends his minions--Knuckle Seijin, Zarab Seijin, among others--to test Mebius' powers and take him down.
They do, but the original four Ultramen, now much older and pretty much retired, come back to do battle. Will they save Mebius, will they survive, and, most importantly, will they save the Earth? Tune in, and have a blast while watching.
Now, the good and the bad. The good is that the movie moves fast. I mean...fast. There's hardly a dull moment. The action is what you'd expect from an Ultraman flick, lots of wrestling, throwing, exaggerated martial arts gestures, but that's part of the charm.
Additionally, the music is excellent. Whoever had the idea of using classical instruments for some of the battle scenes really nailed it. Nothing like strings to get the emotions flowing.
And the editing is superb. For days after I saw the movie with my wife and our two sons--three and seven, then--I couldn't figure out why I liked the movie so much, but then I realized that every scene was cut and flowed neatly into the next. Oh, and the miniaturized sets were beautifully set up. I live in Osaka, and Kobe never looked so good!
As for the negatives, well, the CGI is somewhat cheap looking, and the acting is okay but nothing more--although it was great seeing the four OG again.
Additionally, the characters themselves are not fully fleshed out, not really, and the love interest (or maybe love interest) isn't played out that well.
But this movie is for kids--mainly--and they're not expecting Oscar-worthy material or anything deep. They want action, and this flick delivers on all counts.
I have to talk about the ending. Yes, it's a cliche, and here's the spoiler, when all the Ultramen--Zoffy, Taro, and others--come to help the original gang plus Mebius, and they combine into a new type of Ultraman to beat the upgraded U-Killersaurus.
Composite Ultraman comes down like an avenging angel, and the girl captured by U-Killersaurus sees him. Her mouth opens in wonder, we see him reflected in her eyes, and then he smashes into the monster, rescues the girl, and sends the monster to hell where it belongs. What could be better than that?
This was a fun flick. Don't take it seriously. Laugh at the monsters if you want, but realize that Ultraman spawned one of the world's longest-running franchises, and that is legendary in and of itself.
Not of This Earth (1988)
A decent remake
Remakes can be tricky. Sometimes, they're better than the original, but most often, they're far worse. This remake is surprisingly good, mainly because it doesn't take itself seriously.
The story has already been mentioned by other reviewers: an alien emissary from a dying race that exists on blood comes to Earth in search of blood sources, and in his new home, he finds a veritable smorgasbord. Of course, he's bad, but his existence does raise the question of what a race would do to avoid extinction. Therefore, while he's not totally sympathetic, he's not totally evil either...just enough.
As for the film itself, it's a mix of good and bad. The production values are sort of low, and there's that day-night confusion in one scene. The acting ranges from decent to amateurish, but this is a B-movie, so I wasn't expecting Oscar-worthy material. The special effects are also somewhat cheap, but in spite of the film's deficiencies, it's still a watchable, fairly well-directed flick, and the pace is fast.
And, of course, there's Traci Lords, more famous for her porn films. Here, while she does the obligatory get-naked scene and sex scene, it's handled with a fair amount of restraint.
Moreover, she's got screen presence. Had she not gone into porn, she might have become a fairly decent character actress with enough coaching. Her delivery of her lines ranges from flat to well done in this reviewer's opinion, and perhaps that's more than enough.
All in all, while not a great flick, it's still fun, and the opening titles showcase all of Roger Corman's previous films, so fans can pick out which movies of his they've seen.
The Strange World of Gurney Slade (1960)
Surrealism at its best!
Although I saw this series when I was much younger, my parents had seen it and they told me it was never fully appreciated back then. After rewatching it, I'm going to label it as an unjustly neglected show that should've done better than it originally did.
In Gurney Slade, he practices the art of self-mockery and elevates it to the nth degree. Shades of early British anarchic comedies combine to make a television show that follows the adventures of an actor--or so we think--as he moves from set to set in a grimy British background.
The sets are minimal, and the acting seems improvised at times, but it's all part of the madness that was Newley's imagination, and that's exactly what it was then--and is it now. The episodes are few, but the payoff in the finale, with echoes of The Twilight Zone, is a tour de force of acting and horror combined.
This is a show, that, IMO, should be watched again by anyone who's interested in seamlessly breaking the fourth wall. It's that good.
Crack in the World (1965)
How to blow up the world in one simple move...
For what it's worth, this film is criminally underrated. Granted, the science is flawed, but at the time it was made, plate tectonic theory had not yet been fully fleshed out, so the filmmakers were going on what they knew. However, the film builds suspense well, particularly in the first and final acts, and the acting is first rate.
Doctor Stephen Sorenson, well-played by Dana Andrews, is dying, and he wants to leave a legacy behind, that is, tapping into the Earth's core to extract raw metals. So, he asks permission from an international science council to shoot a nuclear missile into the Earth, ostensibly to break open one of the plates (thought solid at that time) and bring magma to the surface.
Opposing him are his wife--nicely played by Janette Scott--and Ted Rampion, well-acted by Kieron Moore, his subordinate in the project. Rampion thinks shooting a missile down to the core will bring disaster, but Sorenson gets the go-ahead anyway.
BIG MISTAKE! His missile unleashes hell, and a 'crack' develops that starts making its way around the world. Along the way, there are earthquakes, tidal waves, an atomic bomb that's dropped into a volcano to interrupt the chain of destruction, and a lot of people dying. The good news is, the Earth survives, which is why I'm writing this review...
What's excellent are the special effects, miniatures, and the controlled explosions which serve to heighten the dread. The acting is also excellent, particularly by the three principal actors, but the entire cast goes with it and that makes it all the more believable.
The only thing that doesn't really gel for this viewer is the marriage between Sorenson and his wife. Sure, it's a May-December romance, but it seems quite cold, and the relationship between Scott and Moore is far more believable.
Overall, though, this is a solidly acted and directed piece of film, somewhat ignored over the decades. Take it for what it is: an excellent sci-fi suspense film that makes viewing it a pleasure. It scared me as a kid over fifty years ago, and it makes me think about what we're doing to our planet these days.
Highly recommended for sci-fi and adventure enthusiasts.
Joy Ride (1958)
"Get off my lawn!"
Okay, that title belongs to a different movie, but the feeling is the same. We have an over-sixty Regis Toomey--a legendary and very prolific character actor--driving a sports car. How many sixty-somethings drove race cars in the late 1950's? The only one I can think of was Mel "Man of a Thousand Voices" Blanc, and he almost met his end by driving too fast in a sports car...but I digress.
Toomey plays Miles, a typical father who catches some punks trying to steal his hot wheels. He threatens to call the law, they don't listen, and they subsequently wage a campaign of fear against Miles and his wife.
Things come to a head when Miles pulls a gun on the leader of the punks and forces him to drive faster and more dangerously, hence the 'joy ride' term employed as the title.
While I won't give away the ending, the film has a few very good scenes, particularly when Miles loses his temper. Regis Toomey almost always played the nice guy, the next-door neighbor, the local cop. He was the ultimate character actor, dependable, and people would say, "Yeah, I know that guy. I've seen him in ____ movie."
Here, he plays the lead and when he gets pi--ed off, he's excellent. Ann Doran plays his wife, and she's decent enough. The rest of the cast is okay. As for the direction, Edward Bernds was known as a get-it-done and get-it-done-fast type of director, but he delivers a fast-paced and functionally solid effort this time out.
Worth a watch.
KL24: Zombies (2017)
Not what I expected...but in a good way.
Considering this was my first Malaysian zombie movie, not a bad experience. It concerns a zombie outbreak in Kuala Lampur, and there are three intertwining stories that finally mesh into a (sort of) cohesive whole.
While some may carp about this being more of a family drama than a zombie horror flick, I found the cultural differences interesting. The acting was okay. Not great, but okay, mainly by the actor playing the grandfather, and the actress playing the human rights lawyer.
It was a black comedy, to be sure, but it blended horror and pathos fairly well. On a side note, if Malaysian people code-switch from English to Malay and back again, well, let's hear it for communication!
As for the pacing, while it is a little dull in stretches, the action picks up in the last thirty minutes and the ending is solid. I won't go so far as to say this is the best zombie flick around, but it isn't the worst, either.
Hotaru-gawa (1987)
A nice, leisurely look at country life and love
During the summer of 1962, a young Japanese teen--Tatsuo--is worried, like most of his peers, about his entrance examinations to high school. Moreover, he's developed a crush on his female classmate, Eiko.
It's a nice, somewhat slow-moving coming-of-age film. Tatsuo is a nice kid, very average, and that's what makes his character in this film so appealing. Same deal with his counterpart, Eiko, a somewhat skittish young lady who's just developing into a young woman. Their paths intersect in the countryside, and a relationship develops.
Although it is slow-moving, that's the trademark of most Japanese films. Character determines action, which is why they seem to be slow-moving as opposed to Western films, where it's more of an action-determines-character kind of deal.
What this film has going for it is decent performances by a cast of veterans in Japanese cinema along with the young stars. It also has a terrific ending where the two principle actors share an embrace and swarmed by a million fireflies in a brilliant blaze of light. Worth a watch.
Legion of Super-Heroes (2023)
Could've been decent, but...
I'm always up for another DC animated feature, and while some have been better than others, this particular outing doesn't do it for me. We've got Superman's cousin, Kara Zor-el, come to Earth, no build-up to how she lands and adapts...
Oh, wait, she really doesn't, so Superman decides to take her to the 31st century and she enters a hero academy as a trainee. Yes, THAT Legion of Super-Heroes. And, like the spoiled and self-righteous stuck-up princess she is, she gets into trouble but eventually redeems herself.
On the plus side, the music is okay, the voices are decent enough, and the action sequences are pretty good. On the minus side, how the characters are drawn looks cut-rate to this viewer. It resembles The Man of Tomorrow with black outlines, but somewhat cheaper-looking. The story is all too predictable, and there's little sympathy built up for Kara during the proceedings.
On the whole, this isn't something I can recommend purchasing. I watched it because it's DC and DC superheroes/superheroines rock, but this...it's watchable, but no more. For something better featuring Supergirl, I'd suggest Superman Unbound. Kara is portrayed much more sympathetically in that movie.
Oh, and Arms Fall-Off Boy, he's just a little too creepy for me. Ick.