inspectors71

Oh, Lordy, how close were these characters to the real people? If you want to learn how illegitimate governments use and abuse power, this is your movie. Forget Seven Days in May, Downfall, All the President's Men, etc. This black-hearted comedy is about the machinations of the Politburo (or whatever these cunning clowns called themselves) to carve up power at the end of the reign of the 2nd worst mass murderer of all time, Josef Stalin. The callous disregard for the most basic respect for human life leaves one horrified, but the machine-gun delivery of snide and snark between these murderous clowns makes you squirm on the sofa. You know who the "good guys" are which, in itself, shows that same disrespect for human life. You feel conflicted because you've picked sides, and I picked Nikita Khrushchev, and not because he was played by Steve Buscemi ("Shut up, Donnie!).

If you have no knowledge of the story of the power struggle after Uncle Joe vapor-locked and rolled to a halt, then accept that the history isn't terribly accurate, but who the hell cares? The viewer sees the mad rush to grab, grab, and grab when the megalomaniacal monster moves on to a luxury suite in Hell. These monsters seem human. I'm totally sure that a black comedy about Adolph or Mao would have the same cunning sleazeballs trying to add to the world's supply of worm food. You wouldn't shoot for a sequel. Everything you need to know is right here.

What I found so disturbing about TDOS was the casual nature of killing people. Prisoners, soldiers, doctors, lawyers, NKVD leaders die with a terrified shout of "Long live, Stalin" and a sharp crack of a pistol. Sometimes that seems to go on and on and on in the echoing background cells of the Kremlin. You get used to the background noise.

So, if you have a taste for the sort of humor you might find in "Best in Show," wherein one character exclaims how romantic it was to lock eyes on each other from their respective corner Starbucks, if you enjoy the feeling of being conflicted about picking good guys when everyone is saturated with Marxist evil, and/or if you like rolling back the video to find out if he or she really said THAT, then sit back and sip that vodka slowly.

I have a very vague memory of seeing this movie on a commercial channel in, I think, 1992. I've always had a thing for Kathleen Quinlan, and when I saw the an ad, I figured why not.

I have only the blurriest recollection of the Last Winter. Yom Kippur war. Two gals looking for their missing-in-action husbands. The two woman skinny-dipping. Edited-for-television. Wishing I could see Quinlan's butt. Hint of a lesbian relationship between the two wives?

I think.

Yet, with all the blur, I have a feeling it was a good movie, that there was a real emotional tension for the two women hoping, praying for the homecoming.

I can't even remember how the movie turns out, but I do have a feeling that a recommendation is in order.

There were so many things to dislike, hate, and/or projectile-vomit from this ghastly horror that I am a little embarrassed about how I couldn't wait to grab some alone time to watch Bone Tomahawk. This is a gorge-suppressingly awful movie that is too long, more tedious than suspenseful, and features a man getting scalped, strangled, and split in two, crotch to chops. I thought the water buffalo in Apocalypse Now had it easier.

The movie vaguely reminded me of John McTiernan's The Thirteenth Warrior (with a dash of Quest for Fire). In TTW, an Arab diplomat hooks a ride with Beowulf and his posse. The blood flows like spaghetti sauce as the "Geats" fight it out with a tribe of spider-worshipping Neandernasties.

Here, a mini-posse of 1890s Southwesterners go on a rescue mission into desert badlands held by a pack of "Trogladytes." Where McTiernan drives the narrative at a bone-crushing pace, Bone Tomahawk crushes bones, slices scalps and genetalia, and makes the characters almost impossible to like. Kurt Russell, a man who has a voice as gritty as his stare is cold, is so restrained that the fire he brought to Tombstone is almost snuffed out.

I suspect the movie tried to present the good guys as flawed and believable, but we get tired of endless trudging through the outback of the Southwest while the characters use arcane language.

As I'm writing this, I'm slowly changing my mind about the blandness of the characters. Maybe they are, in their own way, working class anti-heroes, but I just wanted a bit more savagery on the part of the "good guys."

I'm going to hit "submit" now and hope my wife has not prepared spaghetti for dinner.