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Reviews
The Penguin (2024)
Overlong and inconsequential
I just finished the series, and I was not overly impressed. The Penguin fails to hold up either as a crime serial or as a piece Batman/Gotham-related myth-building. Colin Farrell and Cristin Milioti give fine performances, as one would come to expect, and there are a handful of other great character actor cameos sprinkled throughout. Ultimately, it comes down to weak material -- and, I think, a weak protagonist to base a series around. The stakes just never really seem that high, the characters (especially the titular character) never seems likeable nor relatable, and the action is downright tepid. I think if there would have been a clear character arc somewhere in the series, it would have helped -- but no one ever really changes or surprises you here.
Tl;dr: Very mid -- for Batman completists only.
A Man on the Inside (2024)
Just not compelling
Ok, I watched the whole thing, but it just never became compelling tv for me. Neither the characters nor the "spy" theme felt interesting, The mystery wasn't all that interesting, the drama was sappy but not very authentic. I'm part of the "sandwich generation" so this should be squarely aimed at me - a look at my parents' generation and mine, with heartfelt/bittersweet angles all over it. But it was just boring. I loved Danson's work on Cheers and The Good Place, so I really came into this with positive intent and tried to like it to the very end. There are a ton of great character actors in it, and they all do a fine job. The problem is with the material - it just isn't very good. It's not compelling, it's just bland. And ultimately disappointing.
Canary Black (2024)
One of the better recent action films from Netflix
Yes, this film has many of the same spy-goes-rogue beats that many viewers will be familiar with, and yes, the plot does keep going for the "this is even bigger than you thought" twist to the point that it becomes ridiculous. Nevertheless, it is not boring, which is more than I can say for most of the action films Netflix has put out lately. Some of that has to do with the tight pacing, as the film keeps hooking you with great transitions, some well done twists, and attention to character moments.
Regarding the latter, this movie is clearly a Kate Beckinsale vehicle. Your enjoyment of it may vary depending on how much you like Beckinsale, but she really shines here, and I'd say this has FRANCHISE written all over it. I hope Amazon thinks the same, because the end of the film leaves the door open for a sequel, and I would love to see Kate inhabit this character again!
Uglies (2024)
YA "Logan's Run" falls short in every way
You will not run into any surprises in this dystopian teen soap opera of a film. It contains a lot of tired tropes and cliched sci-fi scenarios, and doesn't really offer a new spin on anything. The plot is ripped straight out of the 1976 classic sci-fi film (and the novel that proceeded it) Logan's Run. Meanwhile, the main conceit of the film is straight out of a Twilight Zone episode: What would you do to fit in with the "pretty" crowd?
Of course, everyone is pretty in this world already, as the cast consists entirely of fresh-faced, fit young adults -- no one is overweight, disabled, or disfigured. The only blemish in the entire CGI-filled world is a scar on the hand. (The horror!) All of this would be forgivable if the acting and writing were on par with, say, The Hunger Games -- another YA series with a similar dystopian feel. Alas, that is not the case, as dramatic lines like, "Yup, I'm David." are the best that the film has to offer.
Plus, the unsatisfying conclusion seems to exist only to set up a sequel -- ugh! Netflix has a very mixed bag lately when it comes to sci-fi, the most underserved genre on the streaming service. On the one hand, they gave us the amazing first season of Three-Body Problem and Adam Sandler's underappreciated masterpiece, Spaceman. On the other hand, they waste a lot of time and money making hot garbage like this film or Zack Snyder's poorly conceived two-part Rebel Moon.
Netflix, not all sci-fi has to be super-cerebral, but it's definitely not about CGI and "pretty" characters. At its core, sci-fi exists to hold aa mirror up to us, exploring morality by posing the question of what humans would do in extraordinary circumstances. By taking the characters out of the everyday, it allows us to more closely examine what it truly means, at its core, to be human. But this movie falls far short of that goal, offering us only a generic story that we've seen far too often already. So, please, Netflix, do not greenlight the sequel to this movie.
The Instigators (2024)
Mid.
I wanted to like this film, I really did. Doug Liman is a great director, and I'm a fan of the entire cast. But somehow it just never gels. The events are almost, but not quite, interesting. The characters are almost, but not quite, likable. The performances are decent-but not anything to shout about. The overall story isn't anything you haven't seen before. And nothing you will remember any part of after you've seen it this time. In short, you can waste a couple of hours on it if you have a couple of hours to spare, and you won't hate yourself. But you also won't feel particularly good afterward.
Unfortunately, this has been a trend with a lot of Apple shows and movies lately, which is a disappointing trend.
Paper Girls (2022)
A lot of wasted potential because of bad writing
For a show that started off with such promise, it didn't really go anywhere. The premise was strong, and the young cast put in strong performances. The problem was twofold: (1) The characters were unlikeable. They started off at each other's throats, arguing and clashing about everything, and were only together because of circumstance. That's not an unusual set-up for a show, but the problem was that none of the characters showed any character growth over the arc of the season. They discovered facts and had adventures, but none of those things changed them in any significant way -- they were still essentially the same bickering teens at the end that they were at the beginning. (2) The plot itself didn't seem to go anywhere. It was very MacGuffin-driven, with each episode being pushed along by a seeming time travel-related conundrum, but it was all just treading water, as no real discoveries were ever made, nor any problems ever solved. In the end nothing was resolved, and the characters were no further along than when the series had started, they hadn't learned any lessons, and they hadn't even talked to each other like real people. It was overall just weirdly, poorly written.
Das Signal (2024)
Just about the stupidest sci-fi I've ever watched
I am a huge sci-fi fan, and I will watch just about anything. I will suspend disbelief, I will suffer through unbearable dialogue, I will weather plots that make no sense, and I will even sit through a film that goes nowhere but just has an interesting premise. And I tend to REALLY like all of the foreign-language sci-fi that Netflix puts out -- they have had some great series from Germany, Norway, South Korea, and other places. So while I didn't have super high expectations for this it still pains me to say that it failed in every possible way, and was perhaps the worst sci-fi series I've ever suffered through. There were a couple of characters I thought might be interesting -- the little girl in particular seemed like she had breakout potential. But in the end, it was all for naught. It seemed like something was goin to happen, and then nothing did. And then there were some flashbacks that set up noting happening. And then nothing happened. And then, for the grand finale, it turns out that nothing happened. Wait, there was a moment where someone looked at some numbers -- does that count?
Spaceman (2024)
Pure, old-school, trippy sci-fi
I understand that a lot of people probably rated this low because they saw that it starred Adam Sandler and came into it expecting Happy Gilmore. I did not. I am a sci-fi enthusiast, and I cut my teeth on some of the great, old masterpieces of the '50s and '60s -- many of them by Czech authors, just like this one was! These novels and films were ones that modern audiences might see as "dry" these days, but they were hard-core sci-fi that packed an emotional punch while telling a story of speculative fiction -- a world that "advanced the timeline" from our own to see how the human psyche, human morality, human frailty, would cope with advances in technology. And that's exactly what we have here -- a Czech astronaut put in an extraordinary circumstance, even fantastical by the standards of our "real world." And yet, the actual story isn't fantastical at all -- it's a simple question of the human heart, and the meaning of life. In that way, it's not so different from a one-act, heavy-dialogue drama... but by framing it as a science fiction film, we can strip out any modern-day distractions and just focus on human nature in its purest form.
And maybe enjoy Paul Dano's absolutely riveting performance as a giant arachnid alien!
This is a must-see for any lover of "pure" sci-fi or "old-school" sci-fi. 8/10.
Mr. & Mrs. Smith (2024)
Action-Comedy-Romance
This is a very good "dry" comedy series, with Donald Glover's amazing talent on full display, superb support from the rest of the cast and some amazing guest stars, and fantastic action and romance elements.
Although listed as "Action-Comedy-Crime" on IMDb, It should actually be listed as "Action-Comedy-Romance," as it is equal parts all of those. If you're just expecting a spy-thriller, you'll be disappointed, but if you come in with the expectation that this is a twist on the classic rom-com, then you'll understand the tone that the series is going for. It is the relationship between John and Jane that takes precedence in the series, not the action elements.
The action and spy elements are well done and provide a nice added dimension, but the real strength of this show is on the development between its leads and the way their relationship progresses under pressure. 8/10.
Alien Shark (2022)
Not as horrible as I thought
OK, with a title like Alien Shark, I could only assume this was going to be pure trash. (Hey, Noah's Shark had the best title ever, but was like watching paint dry.) Honestly, there wasn't much of a plot here, or a budget anywhere to be seen. The titular creature was rendered with bad CGI and stock footage, and didn't appear much.
But actually that may have saved the movie, because it meant relying on the human actors more, and some zany twists. It wasn't riveting, but it did keep it from being a total waste of time. And I have to say that the cast was pretty good as these things go. Brittany Altenbach held her own as the leading lady, even though she had a ridiculous script to work with.
Let me put it this way: If they DO make an Alien Shark 2, as much as I hate to admit it, yes, I would watch that.
Alien Planet (2023)
Bloody aliens! (minor spoilers)
This film was crowd-funded, and it seems like every one of the people that funded it wrote a review in which they mentioned the director by name: "Alan Maxson! We have Alan Maxson here!" I wouldn't put too much faith in those reviews.
However, for a no-budget sci-fi film, this actually isn't bad. There isn't much of a plot, but the acting is decent and the effects are done practically and mostly very well. The makeup is especially strong. There's also a good deal of puppetry - some of which is subtle and adds nicely to the alien atmosphere of the planet, and some of which looks obviously fake -- though not any worse than Return of the Jedi TBH -- but nonetheless is engaging in its own way. (A weird vomiting alien cat puppet steals the movie, if you ask me.)
The movie features no humans -- just two alien species battling over water resources -- yes, that old trope! And if you ask me, the planet is water poor because the aliens are filled to the gills with the stuff. If you slap an alien, they will explode in a bloody burst of juicy viscera. This won't necessarily kill them, but they will leave puddles of blood behind -- I'm talking pools of the stuff.
That's actually my number one reason for recommending this film -- the way this film constantly tries to make every scene an over-the-top gore fest, all the way to the end of the film. Trust me, if you don't take it seriously, and just go in to enjoy the horror show, you WILL have a good time.
Eden Prime (2022)
I couldn't stop watching because I have a problem
Fair warning: This is an animated feature -- and I'm being generous by calling it animated, as the animation here is very, very crude. The introduction is so annoying you won't want to continue, the dialogue is poorly written (Best line: "I am my mother's only son"... just kidding, it's all nonsense... But that character really does talk a lot about his mother...), and the plot is completely impossible to keep track of.
On the positive side, the voice acting isn't half bad: If you stop looking at the screen, the film actually improves slightly. (Maybe glance up occasionally for the computer-animated, still matte painting effect, just to see what's going on... again, just kidding! Lol, this film is so bad.)
Best exchange of the movie:
"I think my leg is broken."
"Touché."
Trust me, you're not missing any context. Just go with it.
Not gonna lie, at one point we get a combat scene and it's just flashing lights and screaming, and then like 30 seconds of black screen and then 30 seconds of out-of-focus desert. It might be my favorite scene.
Yeah, this is your movie. Come on, you know you love bad sci fi. You either own a copy of 'The Amazing Bulk', or it's been buried on on your Amazon wish list for years. Just watch this.
Also, all of the text is backwards, so they rendered the graphics wrong.
2/10.
Extrapolations (2023)
Not up to expectations
While I embrace an environmental activism agenda, I have to say that the writing for this show is very "on the nose" - to the point that it is distracting. I like to see speculative fiction done well, with more subtlety and character depth.
Here, it's clear that some characters are simply evil, cliched money grubbers to their core, while others are helpless victims of that greed and environmental negligence - which doesn't make for interesting storytelling. That's a shame, because there are some amazing actors here, and they do their best with the material - they just don't have much to work with.
That said, some of the sci-fi elements are good, and it's interesting seeing how they tackle both the growing environmental problems and the advance of technology in other ways. So overall it's ok, it's just disappointing because it could have been much better.
Mount Adams (2021)
Not a movie.
I'm a fan of all kinds of movies, and I've watched -- and enjoyed! -- my fair share of bad movies. This was not a bad movie. In fact, it was not a movie at all. You see, in order or me to consider this a movie, something would have had to happen. I mean, like, anything. I kept waiting. There were signs throughout that it might turn into a movie. A couple of scenes seemed like they might be going somewhere interesting, and I thought -- OK, now maybe we have a story developing. But no, not really. Even the presence of certain basic sci-fi tropes -- spooky aliens and mysterious, unexplained phenomena -- couldn't push this thing into "movie" territory. If it was so-bad-it-was-good, that would have been one thing. But, sadly, it was just... lacking.
In the end, it feels like everyone was trying hard -- the acting wasn't awful, the fx weren't worth complaining about. But, my god, there just wasn't any kind of story here.
The Horror of Party Beach (1964)
A hidden gem among b-movie creature features
For us black-and-white era b-movie monster lovers, this film has it all: goofy dialogue delivered poorly, teens doing silly things no teen would do, atomic sludge, obviously fake yet inventive rubber suit monsters, weird editing, and lots of death and destruction. These atomic hot dog-fish men are relentless in their pursuit of fresh human prey, while the clueless townspeople continue to just walk around saying, "So what's with all these murders?" The sincerity with which lines like these - and the subsequent screams - are delivered, is what makes this film a real joy to watch.
Yes, you can laugh your way through it. And/or, like me, you can just really enjoy the perfect storm of a b-movie done with gusto.
Side note: Despite the blatant racism directed at the film's only African-American character, Eulabelle, she turns out to be the only character in the film with half a brain in her head. She warns everyone something unnatural is happening, but they just keep going out to their beach parties and getting slaughtered. Lol.
Mind Wiped (2022)
Nothing but a feature-length "alien probe" joke
Although this was billed as a sci-fi comedy, there was little of either genre to be found in this vapid movie. The one joke - ONE - in the entire movie was that aliens kidnap humans to probe them in a certain sensitive area (where the sun doesn't shine, if you catch my drift). There is one character who actually WANTS to be abducted, and he is treated like a pervert - so there is a great deal of sophomoric, homophonic subtext as well. The aliens are shown very briefly - amusing lo-fi rubber suits, but all they do is provide exposition about how much they like to probe the humans. Again, I love low-budget b-movies - especially sci-fi - but unless you REALLY like that joke and want to hear it stretched out as infinitum, this is not a movie I would recommend for anyone.
They Came from the Ether (2014)
Low budget oddball sci-fi
This is an ultra-low budget film, but the plot is entertaining. It's partly a send-up of 1950s sci-fi films, and partly a tribute to them.
The script is very talky and full of exposition to cover the fact that there's little budget for special effects (although they do sprinkle a few lo-fi ones throughout), but that dialogue is very over-the-top. "Where are you going?" "I told you I'm with Roland now." "Roland? Ha! I squashed that peasant like a bug!"
The acting is... OK, it's not good. But it's good enough for what you're getting. Look, this is a "so bad it's good" kind of deal. But it embraces it. Don't get me wrong: It doesn't try to be wink-wink cheesy by sprinkling a bunch of knowingly stupid jokes in the mix. No, it just goes all-in with the 1950s mad-science-alien-invasion tropes, and sincerely does it's best with the cheap sets, cheap costumes, cheap acting, and cheap dialogue.
If that's your jam, this is a worthwhile diversion.
Alien Trespass (2009)
Classic 1950s Sci Fi (never mind the production date)
This film is made with loving attention to detail in the style of many 1950s science fiction classics. Despite what a lot of reviews here indicate, it is not a spoof - it's an honest attempt to recapture a bygone era of sci-fi. And it does so with remarkable style.
From the script, to the special effects, to the acting - even down to the title itself, Alien Trespass perfectly captures the style of 1950s genre movie-making. The film takes advantage of full, glorious 21st-century color and sound, but otherwise it could have been made beat-for-beat 70 years ago. And if it had, we would be talking about it today as an influential cultural touchstone, a monument of sci-fi culture.
As it is, it may be merely a curiosity, something out of sync with modern sensibilities. I'm sure most audiences today don't know what to make of it (thus its "middling" rating here on IMDb). But make no mistake: for those of us who love old '50s sci-fi and appreciate its tropes, this is a rare gift - a modern classic that slides neatly beside its inspirations in a forgotten genre. Bravo!
Diabolical (2022)
Just stupid
If a superhero with boobs for a face speaks to you as the way to continue The Boys franchise, you've come to the right place. Otherwise, just give this one a pass.
The Legend of Vox Machina (2022)
Unsatisfying
The animation looks good, but that's about all this show has going for it. It's not a D&D show so much as a parody of D&D. The humor is very crass, the characters 2-dimensional, and the plot underdeveloped. The dialogue is a lot of f-bombs - like, more than normal people would think to use even if they were trying - punctuated by an occasional melodramatic soliloquy. Maybe it's the DM in me, but I found myself really wanting these characters to die. But again, the animation is good.
What If...? (2021)
Rushed and not very interesting
The half-hour episode format means that each of the "what if" questions doesn't really get much time to be explored. Each episode feels like you're rushing through it, going through a bullet list of: here are all of the differences, try to catch the Easter eggs, roll credits. I have to confess that part of the problem might b my bias against animation - I just don't find it as compelling as live action - although I must admit that the animation is quite good. The best episodes have very simple premises and don't cover much ground, thus using the 1/2 hour format to its best extent. (As far as that goes, I think the zombie episode really hit it out of the park.) But overall, give me a live-action show any day - and slow down the pacing!
The Wheel of Time (2021)
Stunning to view, fresh and vibrant story
I have not read any of Robert Jordan's books, but from what I've seen so far of this world, it rivals GOT or LOTR as a fantasy setting. It's handling of magic and monsters makes them feel a very natural part of that world - not CGI, and the rich world-building and character development has me hooked. The photography is just stunning, BTW. I can't wait to see more of this gorgeous series!
Cowboy Bebop (2021)
All style, no substance
I'm so distracted by zigs and zags and quips and poses, I couldn't even begin to tell you what the story is supposed to be. Well, I could, but you wouldn't thank me. I think this would work better as a cartoon. (Don't at me, I know what I did.)
Dimension 404 (2017)
Tongue-in-cheek black mirror meets outer limits
Some people seem to miss the point of this series in their reviews. It is not meant to be as serious as Black Mirror (for that, we have Black Mirror). Instead, it's a delightful mash-up with a lot of nods to past greats like the Outer Limits and Twilight Zone, but also to classic cult sci-fi films and really campy TV shows of the past. With tongue planted firmly in cheek, but willing to explore some off-the-beaten-path sci-fi topics, this is a wonderful anthology show, and I wish they had made more of it.
Black Widow (2021)
Marvel's espionage thriller
A very entertaining film, this one tackles the espionage thriller genre - think James Bond or Jason Bourne. (That's a perfect fit for Black Widow, who after all is Marvel's super spy, not a true super-powered individual.) With this choice comes some changes from the normal Marvel formula - instead of punching super-bad guys all film, Natasha is chasing a mystery. There's plenty of action, but also drama, twists, and gadgets to keep the story moving along. If you come in expecting it to be an Avengers-type punch-up between Black Widow and the Taskmaster, you may be disappointed. But if you sit back and let the story unfold, it's a good one - with some great performances (especially by Pugh) - and enough adrenaline to make the 2 hours go by fast!