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Reviews
The Hitman's Bodyguard (2017)
Very mediocre
Honestly, this movie was a let down. I love Ryan Reynolds, to the point that I'm very biased. I was bored throughout this movie.
The premise is somewhat close to Safe House (2012). Not exact by any means, but close enough that it made me draw comparisons within the first 30 minutes and from that point on, I just kept wanting to stop the movie and turn on Safe House.
I'm not lying. The movie had its moments, but more often than not,I thought it was ridiculous in a bad way and never all that good. Safe House is a movie that has Ryan Reynolds protecting a highly valuable, highly capable target, and is exponentially better.
The problem with this movie, is it is so ridiculous, it is supposed to be funny, however there is only a handful of times that actually made me laugh out loud. More often than not, it seemed to try to take itself seriously, especially when it shouldn't have.
The gun play tried to portray itself as realistic, but fell very short. At times the characters were so amazing they could pull off ridiculous shots with no effort, then couldn't hit the broadside of a barn. While the movie wasn't horrible, it wasn't great. It made me think of better movies that I wanted to watch, while hoping better moments came. Occasionally a better moment would come... I'd laugh out loud (genuinely!) and then it'd pass, leaving me bored again.
You won't hate yourself for watching, but you won't be happy about it either. 5/10
Smokin' Aces 2: Assassins' Ball (2010)
Not a bad movie at all. Far better than most reviews say.
This movie is not bad at all. For starters, I was well aware it was a straight to video movie. IMDb makes that clear with the (video) annunciation in the listing. So I didn't expect the production value to be anywhere close to the original. Also, it is not a *sequel*. Early on you realize this is in fact, a prequel.
I was a huge fan of the first one; very good action movie. I expected a lower budget form of it in this. That is essentially what you get. The styling of the movie is different. That doesn't mean it is bad.
If you are someone who actually pays attention to detail, you will probably enjoy a few things in this movie. There is more connections made in this movie than just the title name and the appearance of Lazlo Soot (apparently the majority of reviews think those are the only connections).
There is mention of both Buddy Israel and Primo Sparazza, just for names-sake. Yes, Lazlo is in fact, in it. You learn a little bit about Lestor Tremor's (one of the three Tremor Brothers from the first) past. You also find out some interesting details about Beanie (from Israel's entourage.
Really, they are all small details that neither make nor break the movie. Those are more there to make you smile as a fan of the first one.
The movie is a solid 6 for a relatively mindless action w/ a few decent twists and laughable parts. Especially given it being a straight to video movie. With that in mind, it is actually really good for what it is.
Balls of Fury (2007)
Does what it is supposed to quite well
This movie is by no means supposed to win any awards for drama, deep plots, and serious dialogue. This movie is a spoof on an otherwise not so popular sport. Think Dodgeball. A game we all remember playing, but no longer do. The movie is filled with actors you will recognize, and is loaded with laughs. Even the scenes that were played in the trailers, that I knew were coming, made me crack up.
If you are wanting a tearjerker, thinker, or movie with an underlying moral to the story, you are in the wrong place. If you just want a movie that will bring many a smile to your face, then look no further. This should definitely suffice.
Date Movie (2006)
Apparently the other 4 writers are the talented ones
I bought this movie not expecting much. I figured it would be just a whole bunch of parody scenes, loosely referencing dating movies from the past 20 years or so, and could provide me some laughs for 90 minutes. I also had high hopes since the cover said "From 2 of the 6 Writers of Scary Movie." Apparently these guys had the smallest input on the Scary Movie series, as I actually enjoy those immensely. They have halfway decent story lines and have good jokes in them. Date Movie provided maybe about 3 spots where I laughed. Most of it was just utterly stupid, and I was sitting in boredom waiting for it to "pick up". Alas, that point never arrived, and I found myself staring at the credits and regretted wasting the $14 or so on this DVD that I will never, ever watch again; and try to curb as many people away from it as possible. The date movies this film parodies are funnier than this.
Stick to the Scary Movie series and Not Another Teen Movie if you want good parody movies, you are not missing anything if you don't see this.
Not Another Teen Movie (2001)
Hilarious parody!!
Some people will go into this movie and criticize it for being well.....stupid. But it is supposed to be. It is a parody, the whole point of this movie is to make people laugh. It is full of stupid and idiotic scenes that are there just to bring out a chuckle. If you go into the movie not expecting it to win any sort of Oscar for serious acting then you will probably be pleased with the results. It mocks many scenes from classic teen movies such as pretty in pink and breakfast club (really it pokes fun at all John Hughes movies by either referencing to them and pretty much copying exact scenes). Then it took stuff from newer movies such as She's All That, Cruel Intentions, Never Been Kissed, etc, etc. If you were a fan of the Scary Movie's line then you will enjoy this also.