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juliethood
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Salem's Lot (2024)
Another adaptation of 'Salems Lot
Steven Kings 'Salems Lot had some pretty bad reviews from the critics, but I've seen some pretty bad adaptations of King's work before, and then some brilliant ones (Shawshank Redemption, Green Mile, original Carrie). So I thought I'd give it a go.
I really liked that it stuck with the time period of the book, it allowed for certain parts of the book to be retained, like researching stuff in books and libraries. The cast was pretty good even though there were no bog names in it and I thought they did a good job with the script. I especially liked the special effects, which all looked to have stuck to practical rather than CGI which is just right for this time period. I thought it was entertaining, and would probably give it another watch in a few years.
Kinds of Kindness (2024)
Kinds of tedium
There were 8 of us in the screening when it started, only 3 remained when the last set of credits rolled.
I thought the acting was terrific, the plots not so much. The first story grated on me and the atmospheric music being one piano note played over and over with reverb made me want to break stuff. The second started well, then decended into tedious madness. The third showed real promise. However I did not need to see William Defoes privates.
I wish my Dad would have come with me. He would have made me leave after 20 minutes or so and I could have watched another film at home. Damn my movie optimism.
Poor Things (2023)
18 Rating for Graphic Nudity and Swearing. Ace.
Goodness what a bizzare watch this was. It was a surreal trip through several different filming styles from black and white, sepia and full colour. There were fabulous outfits for all of the characters and the settings made them look brighter and more opulent. The acting was top notch from Emma Thompson, Mark Ruffalo, Ramy Youssef and Kathryn Hunter (She was exquisite). It was also very graphic. Lots of full frontal nudity from both sexes with extreme sweariness. Also ironically funny with several laugh out loud moments. My Favourite was the line "She just put her hand on my hairy business!"
If you like odd films this is definitely one for you.
The Shift (2023)
Boring retelling of the book of Job.
I went to Sunday school and Bible study from an early age and figured out this was a basic retelling of the story of Job with some swirly multiverse jumping stuff thrown in. As an Atheist I found myself really not appreciating the whole basis of the movie that you can only be a good person if you believe in God and put everyone elses needs and well being before your own. You don't need to believe in God, you just need to be a nice caring person and not be a dick. As such the storyline grated and I ended up not caring about any of the primary characters, just the ones they were messing with to try to get them to do what the Benefactor (devil/demon) wanted.
I liked the premise, as a sci-fi film and had a pretty good cast, who acted really well. I just didn't like the film.
Viaje al centro de la tierra (2023)
Poor script, special effects and dubbing
If we ignore the inaccuracies of Jules Verne's history then we still have a steaming pile of rubbish. The special effects would have been bad back in the 80's with ameture looking stop motion monsters combined with obvious green screen work. The script is nonsensical and the child actors are not very good. Pop in the fact that the dubbing is terrible and you have a show that is worse than Tierra Incógnita (Disney+ release of 2022). I don't know if Disney is commissioning fantasty series in the Spanish language for diversity, but they need to really up thier game to show something that is watchable. There was no way I was going to invest more than one episode into this.
M3GAN (2022)
Should have stuck to horror
The film itself can be broken down into 2 popular opinions. The first is that its an entertaining 15 rated horror film. The second, and one I agree with is that it's not a horror film any more. It was scripted and started to be flmed for Blumhouse as an 18 rated horror film. The director had it rescripted to keep a couple of his favourite characters alive (big mistake) and Universal Pictures encouraged it to be cut to remove the majority of the gory bits giving it a lower rating of 15 for the UK and PG13 for the US. Which brings in a much wider younger audience. Hence all the TikTok / YouTube stuff with the doll dancing as additional advertising. This does leave a creepy film that is for a lower age group, but its SciFi, not horror. There is a body count but none of the killing is done on screen.
Its still entertaining, but it had the potential to be really good.
HollyBlood (2022)
Not as bad as you would think
Tonight I decided to watch something silly whilst the football was on. I settled on Hollyblood. I'd had it on my watch list for a while, but kept putting it off because I wasn't in the mood for a silly horror film. It was silly, very very silly. Its a film that has a parody of a film in it, the titular Hollyblood. The scene from that are cringeworth, but also in some parts laugh out loud funny. Its clear from the outset that Hollyblood is a spoof of Twilight, and thankfully it only shows us two scenes (one where the main male characters are shirtless and growling at each other). Getting into the film itself, its about a girl (Sara) who loves Vampires, a new boy (Javi) who likes her and a hapless Vampire hunter. The script itself isn't the best, and the acting is patchy but the scenes between Javi and his Dad are pretty funny, just bordering on cringeworthy.
Black Panther: Wakanda Forever (2022)
Convoluted plot
It's a long film that dedicates a very large chunk of time to mourning the loss of Chadwick Boseman's character T'Challa. It tries very hard to have meaningful character development, but gets stuck in a rut of mourning even though time has passed. It's the overarching theme of the film, which is understandable considering who he was, but it appears to be more for the audiences benefit of mourning Chadwick, rather than the characters loss of thier king/brother/son.
When it does get going there is far too much time spent focused on the processes behind all the technology that is being developed or built. Tech seems to be thier solution for everything. For us lesser mortals it can get boring if you don't understand it.
In all it ends up with a convoluted plot with a telegraphed script. However, the new bad guy and his historic background was really good. He had a depth an perseption that could be empathised with. Which in some ways mirrors the introduction and backstory of Killmonger in the first film.
All in all, great special effects and action sequences. Nice new villain character but not enough development for a scientist character that didn't add much to the story, she was just there as a plot device. Good progression for other core characters, especially M'Baku who I loved. Not as good as the first film, because none of the other characters make up for the loss of Chadwick Boseman's T'Challa. I gave it a solid 7/10 and would watch it again.
Hocus Pocus 2 (2022)
Lacklustre sequel
Hocus Pocus 2 dropped on Disney + today. As a big fan of the first one I was quite excited to see the three witches reprising thier roles as the Sanderson Sisters. The film started quite strongly with a flashback to the Sandersons youth, then forward to present day Salem at a High School. There wasn't much dig down into the new characters backgrounds and the few supporting characters that there were seemed rather lacklustre. When the film eventually got going the musical numbers seemed like they were cut short. There was also a distinct lack of peril, which is what kept the original story exciting. All in all an okay sequel, but rather a letdown.
Tierra Incógnita (2022)
Tierra ble - just bad
I think the currently score of 4.8 is very generous. The plot is a fairly interesting premise. The locations are pretty and some of the sets look like a good horror fun park, or halloween interactive event. But there are quite a few issues with the show. The dubbing is really poor, with the voices going from over - emphasis on one hand to lacklustre bored sounding performances on the other. I don't know if it is due to the script itself or if they have used Google translate to transition it to English. The acting reminds me of a low budget B-movie or school play. Which doesn't endeer you to any of the characters. More than anything else though, the main characters are just plain annoying.
Senior Year (2022)
Good music, terrible film.
Senior Year is the top watched film on Netflix at the moment. I suspect its because people saw the trailer, started to watch it and couldn't be bother to turn it off. It's terrible, and not in a so bad its good way. If during Pitch Perfect you thought, I could do with less Fat Amy then don't even bother. It's Rebel Wilson at her juvenile worst, playing an alleged 37 year old with the supposed mind of a 17 year old (closer to 13). There were 4 laugh out loud moments in the film, all from other characters in the way they delivered the lines. It could have been slightly better having cast a different actor.
I gave it a whopping 2/10 and I gave an extra point because the soundtrack was brilliant.
Respect (2021)
Bland showcase of Hudson doing Aretha
Aretha at the cinema promised to be a musical feast at the very least. There were both high and low points. The lows included what I always consider to be 'oversinging' of certain types of song. There is no doubt that Jennifer Hudson has a seriously good voice, although a couple of the tunes very nearly fell into the disaster that was her rendition of Memories in Cats (no-one wants to see so much emotion there is snot). One was straight up murdered by portraying her as fall down drunk while singing it. The highs were how the songs were rearranged apparently on the fly, it gave the backing singers and musicians time to shine. The film itself was a bit bland, which is a real shame.
In the Shadow of the Moon (2019)
Great cast, effects and sets. Thats it.
It was an interesting film with good actors and acting, a nice set and great special effects. Unfortunately that is where the good ended. The basic plot was silly, but the scripts was trash of the higest order. It had beat Police doing basic things they would never be allowed to do, like being picked up from thier own homes in squad cars and deciding which crime scenes to go to... and that was in the first 20 minutes. As it progressed it became apparent that whoever wrote it didn't do ANY fact checking before spinning an ever increasing web of bolderdash.
I watched it so none of you poor individuals have to. You are welcome.
Soul (2020)
If you don't like jazz give it a miss
I thought the plot was okay. Unfortunately I absolutely hate jazz music and there was so much of it that it was distracting at best and rage inducing at worst. I watched with two other people. One hated the film and the other thought it was okay.
Too much Jazz music.
Alley Cats Strike (2000)
Gutterball
The basic idea is solid. Geeks in a bowling club have to save the schools reputation in a long held feud. Top jock was signed up in the club as a joke. Geeks and Jock bicker, then get along. All fine. The script is clunky, some of the acting is dreadful, but one of the worst things is the bowling. People who have never bowled before in thier lives are throwing like pro's and getting 8's or strikes. Not one gutterball.
The worst thing though is the preaching. It's so very everyone can just get along. I expected them to start throwing thier arms around each other and singing. Really awful.
True History of the Kelly Gang (2019)
Epic let down
Today we watched the True History of the Kelly Gang at the cinema. My god it was awful. The best bit was the introduction which said none of what you see here is true, and the titles. If I had known how much the other two people I was with had disliked it we would all have left. It makes films like the Necromancer or Zombie king look good. As good as 1917 was for George MacKay this was bad. Did I say it was bad? It's bad.
The Turning (2020)
Turned out badly
This started out as a run of the mill horror film. Trundling along relying too much on jump-scares when with a little bit of tweaking could have been a really atmospheric piece. Unfortunately someone decided to try to be clever and instead of sticking with one ending, they decided to completely mess with the dynamic and deliver a deeply unsatisfying twist. I was prepared to give the film a mediocre rating until that point. Unfortunately it fell at the last hurdle. Shame for the actors really as they are all better than this.
Seberg (2019)
Watch for yourself. Don't believe the bad hype.
I hate that people can give film reviews or ratings on IMDB without having seen the film.
Firstly, if you don't like an actor, just don't watch the film. Don't go onto a ratings site a skew the scores.
Secondly, if you want to see a complete accurate portrayal of a biography watch the History channel.
This is based on the story of Jean Seberg and her persecution by the FBI. Is it groundbreaking? No. Is it a sanitised version of what is known? Yes.
Kristen Stewart more than held her own in this film. It didn't have a great script and the cinematography was clunky, and even though she had a pretty good supporting cast, they really didn't have much to play with. Its okay. But I wouldn't watch it again.
JourneyQuest (2010)
Stick to LARPing
As someone who has played table top and LARP for over 30 years I found this unbelievebly dull. I'd rather sit and watch the people around me play. The acting is better, the characters more well developed and the plots more complex.
It was like watching someones first self written D&D scenario acted out by 15 year old drama students.
Unlocked (2017)
Edge of your seat thriller
Unlocked stars Noomie Rapace, Orlando Bloom, John Malkovich, Michael Douglas and Toni Collette. Evey one of them played an interesting character with some great performances, especially Ms Rapace and Mr Malkovic.
It didn't get very good reviews in the UK press and I don't know why. It starts out as your typical CIA thriller but gets all twisty and turny with intricate plot type stuff (which actually makes sense and doesn't have many plot holes or really stupid antagonists) and masses of action. It was nicely scripted too with some brutal looking violence that kept you on the edge of your seat for most of the film.
Neighbors (2014)
Bad Scripting
When I first started watching this I thought like Knocked Up it may get funnier as it went along. Then I realised this is probably what the sequel to Knocked Up would be if you took all the good bits out and put a fraternity next door.
When it wasn't poorly executed dick jokes it was the main characters mugging it up and overacting. Rose Byrne is an okay actress but this was terrible (actually she was also in a film I walked out of it was so bad, really never go and see I give it a year!).
In fact the whole script pretty much stank.
We decided as a group of females that if Zac Efron hadn't spent have the movie with his shirt off that we would have left.
I Give It a Year (2013)
I wouldn't give it a minute
When they said this was the Rom Com of the year I was hoping to be pleasantly surprised. But then the year is young and the critic must have had a sense of humour bypass.
From the terrible best man speech at the outset it was clear that the script writer decided that it was beyond funny to have someone say something inappropriate at exactly the wrong moment... all the time.
The main characters had no redeeming features and you just wanted them to leave the screen.
The 'scene stealer' by the guidance councillor was no more than a tirade of over the top bad language and has been done better with less swearing by Basil Faulty.
I only gave it a 1 because there isn't a lower score option.
The Wedding Video (2012)
The worst film I have ever seen
With a shooting style of a poor documentary and an annoying voice over from Hound from the outset I was hoping that things would improve.
But this is a film so poor that it isn't even listed on Flixster. It is truly awful. The casting is mismatched. The script is slow, dull and delivered like an over the top sketch show. The acting skills of the cast is barely taxed as they plod from one set piece to the next with little continuity.
Then it turns into a misplaced romantic comedy with delusions of grandeur. Which is when half the audience lost the will to live and walked out.
First time I have ever walked out of a film. It was that bad.
River of Darkness (2011)
River of never ending tedium
One of the worst scripts ever. This film was written, directed and produced by Bruce Koehler. I firmly believe he did it all himself because no one else was stupid enough to think that the abysmal script would work as anything other than toilet paper.
The acting was so wooden that the rest of the cast made Angle and co look like the spirits of Olivier. Don't get me wrong, they were by no means good. But the film started poor and just got steadily worse. The cinematography would have been substandard for views of Home and Away. Even low budget B-Movies should have standards. One last thing. Don't get me started on the 'special effects'. I have seen more convincing at Halloween parties.
In all this was amateur hour at its very worst.
Conan the Barbarian (2011)
You need a script for a movie to work
This started with a small spark of promise that died in the scriptwriters hands. The characters had no depth at all and the talented cast had absolutely no script to work with. The action sequences were well choreographed and brutally detailed, but the too fast action and hatchet job editing turned this possibly watchable movie into a nightmare.
It makes the original version look full of well rounded characters. Slick editing, good continuity, a well thought out script and good production values.
Really, the continuity guy should have been terminated.