Ratings
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Reviews
The Holiday Exchange (2024)
Awfully awful
This is simply bad, really,really bad! The acting is amateurish and coupled to a nonsensical script, the outcome is nauseating. It's like some kind of fantasy or fairytale that has no connection to reality. The European setting looks suspiciously American, and becomes distracting. The script seems to have been written by a child. The movie goes from one painfully bad scene to another, all with the aim of creating a world of complete fantasy and silliness. While the aim might have been to produce a gay film with a happy feel and ending to it, turning it into some silly childish fantasy is clearly not the answer.
Holy Water (2009)
Low Budget Tosh
Unfortunately, this is not a great film at all, especially when compared to other Irish comedies. It's difficult to know if it's set in Northern Ireland or the Republic as the accents are not at all from the North. Maybe it's on the border between the two. Others have commented on this disparity as well as it is very disconcerting, distracting and off-putting! The plot is a bit funny but it's the execution of the idea that fails miserably. The film appears to be low budget and the editing is atrocious. The script is poorly written and wastes the talent of come of the actors. Overall, it's just not worth the watch!
Hotel Milano (2022)
A lot of staring and histrionics
This is an apparently low budget Italian film that tries to use flashbacks to try and tell a story, but fails in the process. The script is nonsensical and the scenes randomly stuck together, with the flashbacks stuck between to try and explain a confusing narrative. The dialog is sparse, replaced instead by the actors wandering about and staring vacuously into space. There is the occasional burst of histrionic acting that is followed by more staring into space. The pace of the movie is like that of molasses flowing uphill and really goes nowhere. This is a very amateurish production that clearly was a huge waste of money and time to produce!
My Lady Jane (2024)
A Bit of Salty Silliness that Sadly got Cancelled
This is a bit of silly satire that tells you from the get go it's not historically accurate. It does not try to pass itself off like Bridgerton does as alternative or rewritten history. It's up front from the start that it's all very tongue in cheek. The wide diversity of cast tells you this as that is certainly in no way historically accurate. The satire does not reach the heights of Black Adder or other British shows of that ilk, but it does use modern slang and an audio track to match, to get the point across.
The casting is well done and the acting, for the most part, is a good match for the script. The costumes are also very good.
It seems to have run it's course in one season, though it might have possibly have enough steam in it to stretch over another season without becoming tedious and tiresome. Ignore the bad reviews that want it to be historically accurate. Watch it for what it is and it will not disappoint.
Criminal: UK (2019)
Kind of interesting
This is like a talk show for criminals and police. The set remains the same, the story a bit formulaic that becomes boring after a while. The audio track is terrible as there's a lot of mumbling and the occasional swallowed word. It's a cat and mouse game that plays out as an interview between police and criminal, each trying to catch the other out. The acting is fine but the pace is so slow and monotonous that after a while all the episodes start to seem very similar. If you like series where little happens other than the characters play mind games with one another, and it's mainly the dialog that carries the story, then this will be perfect for you. If you like more action oriented series, give this one a wide berth!
Territory (2024)
Rubbish
This is a very poorly written series set in Australia's Northern Territory. The first episode begins with a series of random scenes stuck together with little or no context provided to the viewer. The emphasis seems to be mainly on cattle, heavy machinery and dirt! Ana Torv's character walks about with a constantly anguished look on her face, scanning the horizon as if she is expecting a visit from aliens. The story is nothing like Yellowstone, or even Succession. The first twenty minutes of this tells you that is the case. It's pretty much a waste of time and is really best avoided! Perhaps it's meant to remain in its own territory as it is clearly targeted for a local audience!
Heartstopper (2022)
All a bit too tedious
When this series first started it seemed to have a lot of potential. However this most recent season, three, really shows how the writer and producers have run out of ideas. The themes appear to have been carefully selected and then put in a spreadsheet to make sure that the whole spectrum of teenage angst and every type of LGBTQ character has been selected and included. Racial diversity has also been carefully curated to make sure that none were excluded. The themes are tedious and the story goes nowhere. It's difficult to believe that in today's schools in the UK that such open minded behavior actually exists in real life settings. There really isn't much to this series at all!
Inganno (2024)
A silly soap opera
This Italian soap opera is really over the top. There is little to recommend it other than the handsome lead actor and the beauty of the Amalfi coast of Italy. The story is your usual younger man setting out to seduce an older lonely and wealthy woman. As the plot unfolds she sees obvious signs that he is a liar and a cheat, tells him to leave many times, then apologizes an equal number of times. One can only assume that she is demented. There is a ludicrous subplot of her son also falling for the same guy, and that creates the usual dynamic. The makeup used by the characters is industrial strength, heavy and just too much, making the awful painted faces a distraction. Overall, it's a bit of silliness but it does fill empty streaming queues.
All of Us Strangers (2023)
Rubbish
If this film could get a rating of Zero, it would be more deserving! The movie starts off with little context, even less dialog and a series of random scenes stuck together. The lead actor seems to spend his time in silence, wandering about staring at things e.g. Walls, food, the view etc. The dialog is minimal throughout the film and seems to be mainly improvised and a bit silly. The movie goes at a pace of molasses trying to run uphill. After a while it becomes really tedious to watch due to the inaction. While it may have artistic merit to watch the surreal journey on which the characters travel, it is quite simply a boring movie with little to recommend it.
Civil War (2024)
Civil war for millenials
This was simply low budget garbage. It seems to be pushing an agenda of fear and simplification of what a civil war MIGHT look like to to target millennials. Obviously, the writer/director had watched too much Walking Dead and decided to model this off of the series. The extras must have been people from some community playhouse as it was very disconcerting to keep seeing the "dead" people breathing or moving after death. The acting was simply terrible. The agenda seems very anti-military as it portrays them as all bad. It was a struggle to watch it to the end but the FF button was a big help!
Milliardærøya (2024)
A fishy story that only Norwegians can understand
This is a typical Norwegian series that uses a script targeted specifically to a topic of relevance to Norwegians and humor that only they would understand and find funny. The characters are bizarre and the acting very slow and overdone at times. The story has many elements, but few seem relevant to the main story. Events appear to be very disconnected at times from one another and often contribute little to the narrative. As in common to all Scandinavian productions, useless information on trivia is included in the script that is focused on "educating" the audience. It all seems a bit too contrived for a global audience, but probably includes scenarios that are topical and well understood by Norwegians. Overall, it provides a look into how the Uber wealthy live in Norway as well as their obsession with American Hollywood pop culture from the 1950s and 60s.
Spa Night (2016)
Garbage
This movie has no beginning nor end. There is minimal dialog and everyone just seems to try to stare their fellow cast members to death. It's obviously low budget with some of the scenes appearing to have been filmed with an iPhone. The scenes appear to be stuck together randomly, sometimes being relevant to the previous or subsequent one, most times not. Some of the scenes are totally non-contributory to the overall story. The objective of the film must be to try and create a dream like narrative in which all the characters seem to drift through life just staring at one another. As another comment has stated.....avoid at all costs!
Le indagini di Lolita Lobosco (2021)
Typical Italian series from RAI
This lighthearted series is done in typical Italian style. The detective and police work take second place to the usual Italian themes of love, food and family. There is the usual older woman, younger man dynamic. A lot of crying and histrionics and constant reference to foods and cooking in the region. The lead character goes to work always dressed fashionably. Every now and again issues of women's rights and their treatment is alluded to in the various episodes. The first season is better than the second as the dialog in the latter seems to be more improvised. Watch it for what it is, light entertainment along the lines of the French counterpart, Candace Renoir!
Pandore (2022)
Bizarre Judicial Process
This Belgian series deals with how the judicial system handles serious cases. The concept is one of an incident that opens a Pandora's Box of secrets and interactions. The problem with it is that it appears to lack detail and along the way, one can see mistakes being made in police process. The casting is a bit ludicrous in that the actress who plays the lead character of the judge, looks almost as old as the actors playing her parents. Surely this could have been done in a better way! The role of the police captain is played by someone well beyond retirement age. This really stretches viewers' belief as it would lack credibility. The audio quality, as in many of the French and Belgian productions, is poor, and most of the dialog comes across as muffled. Better sound engineers would have resolved that issue. As with all Francophone series there are recurrent themes of bouts of histrionic acting, anxiety attacks, constant reference to people being "fragile", and the usual older women younger men dynamic! However, it's a bit of fantasy, as it is impossible to believe that any judicial system could function in this way.
The Terror (2018)
Average entertainment
The narrative for first season of this series is told in a very choppy manner. The editing is really horrible. Scenes of 30 seconds or less are inserted for what one can only assume is artistic value, since they add nothing to the story. Many times there are gaps in the story with an event suddenly being discussed between two characters, but the viewer has been given no context or background to the incident. Makes one feel they missed out on some vital information. Rewinding doesn't help as the contextual information just was never provided. The other way in which the editing sucked big time was the manner in which the flashbacks were stuck randomly between scenes to which they had no relevance. The final CGI of the beast is really silly and could have been done far better.
Respira (2024)
Basura
This is garbage, pure and simple! It's just another rip off of the constant stream of medical hospital dramas. The difference with this one is that it's really done extremely poorly to the point where most of the incidents bear no relation to medical reality. It's as if there were no medical adviser on the set! It would really be a stretch to believe that hospitals in Spain are so poorly run, but then again, maybe that is the case! As with all of the TV series from Spain, the sound is poorly engineered so that the dialog is mostly inaudible. They really need to hire sound engineers or use modern equipment and technology to ensure clarity of the soundtrack!
Sequía (2022)
More rubbish from Walter
Walter Presents is a streaming platform that seems to out of its way to collect all the rubbish European TV programs and then rebroadcasts them through various stations. This series is one of those examples. The story makes little sense, the way it's told is really very silly and incomprehensible. If this is how Spanish police are supposed to operate, it is quite unbelievable. The lead investigator dresses like she's off to a gym for a Pilates session. As Wilton all programs from RTVE, the sound quality is poor so much of the dialog is inaudible. Overall, the series is not engaging and simply not worth watching!
Monsieur Spade (2024)
Makes no sense
This series tries to channel Humphrey Bogart and the 1940s noir detective mode. It fails miserably. Owen is no Bogart and this is no Sam Spade mystery. The snappy dialog and one line comebacks just don't work for Owen. The plot is convoluted and told in such a choppy manner that causes the viewer to lose interest in both the characters and the story. The story seems to be based on some fantasy that has been cobbled together to create content for streaming. Could barely get through episode 1, and given the many comments on here about the ridiculous ending, was glad I did not waste more time watching it.
A Good Girl's Guide to Murder (2024)
Nancy Drew in Midsomer
This is a teen murder mystery based on a series of books and adapted for TV. It would have better on a children's streaming platform as the script is completely ridiculous and the events as they unfold, improbable. The lead character goes from one event to another, bumbling her way through, having access to people and places that would never be possible in real life. The premise is to drag one red herring after another across the trail to keep momentum going for as long as possible. The acting is below average and the narrative told in a very disjointed manner. Events happen illogically and often in a completely unbelievable manner. Overall, it's just a silly little tween romp but maybe that's the target audience!
American Rust (2021)
A slow burning noir
This series really is never going to have populist appeal. It's very slow and also bordering on low budget as it uses actors who are not well known or certainly not that mainstream any longer. The story is dark, the mood gloomy, with many intricate subplots, some of which make sense for the story, others are just silly. There is little in the way of escapism in this series since it deals with normal people who have made bad choices in their lives. It was canceled after the first season, resurrected for a very badly written second season, then left to wither on the vine once again. It seems unlikely that it will be ever given new life and a new season!
Blue Murder (2003)
Almost, but not quite!
This police drama series is a bit dated. The plots are sometimes very different to the usual run of the mill material seen in many other British shows of this genre. The narrative is fast moving but the sequencing does not always get it right. This leads to viewer confusion when they try to fill in the gaps between consecutive scenes. The main theme is that of a DCI trying to balance a career about which she is very passionate and her family obligations, all after a separation from her husband. It went on for a couple of seasons but begins to flounder after season 3. It was cancelled after season 5. It's one of those series that might have been more successful if the storylines and character development were more compelling!
Ted Lasso (2020)
Started strong but finished weakly
This series got a lot of hype when it first aired but took time to get around watching it. The first season was the best then it just went steadily downhill. Season two started to lose the magic and initial story engagement. What also became distracting was the perceived need by the writers to include little historical facts and trivia in every episode. Season 3 was simply rubbish as the plot seemed to have totally disappeared by that time. It appeared that the script writers lost focus and the episodes became a race to wind down the series. It was as if the actors and writers knew that the series had already ended but there was some kind of contractual obligation to deliver a set number of episodes. A sad end to what had been a great start. It could never had supported a fourth season! Great start but quickly fizzled out.
Forgive and Forget (2000)
Forgivable and forgettable
This movie could have been so much better. However, it appears to be made for British TV at a time when any bit of old rubbish could be aired as long as it wasn't too graphic and dealt with this type of theme in a superficial manner. The movie just appears to be a collection of scenes that try to tell some kind of story but really does not do that particularly well. The ending makes little sense but again fits in with the era where a happy ending might not have been acceptable. Punishment and unhappiness were the correct judgement for that sinful life. Would be interesting to see a rewrite and new production of this now that thinking and attitudes have changed over the past twenty years.
Norwegian Dream (2023)
Low budget, poor acting and bad script
This movies tries to cover too many stories, all being loosely strung together by the story of two central characters. It does not work. The script lacks continuity and context and assumes that viewers know about the exploitation and mistreatment of Polish workers in the Norwegian fishing industry. Nothing is explained and the choppy editing doesn't help explain much. The acting is really bad and one gets the impression that the producer hurries the plot and narrative along before the funding runs out. Overall, it could have been better if time were taken to explain the event and the movie did not try to cover so many extraneous events that have little to do with the central plot!
Dark Matter (2024)
Garbage to the Nth degree
This series takes a bad script, a bunch of out of work actors, puts them together in the hope that it'll make a good story. Unfortunately, it doesn't. The pace at which the plot unfolds is tedious, the plot holes and lack of logic too many to even count. The acting is below average every step of the way and after a while, it starts to feel like watching a Dr. Who ripoff except that the Tardis isn't a phone booth but just a simple black box. The two lead actors travel around a multiverse, facing adversity and survive miraculously without food or water for days on end. No matter how long one sticks with watching the series, it doesn't get any better. It's series like this that help cement Apple TV sit low down in the ranking of streaming platforms. It's just a colossal waste of time that takes viewers nowhere!