Reviews

Dower Mindhunter agent Travis (Lamas) teams up with sexy/sparky FBI pistol Kelly McCord (Kristen Cloke) to track down degenerate serial killer Art Dacy (Gary Busey) in this distractingly lively Canadian action thriller. While The Rage proves no less formulaic than squeezey cheese, it remains equally moorish. Like many similarly routine DTV shoot 'em ups, the entertainment quotient is hugely boosted by the live wire presence of magnetic mentalist Gary Busey. The able cast's performances are solid, text provides moments of unintentionally amusing bathos, and no balanced, copiously corn-enriched B-Movie diet is complete without at least one fully loaded Busey/Lamas bullet burger! Furie mounts some explosive action, constructing an especially dynamic vehicular tussle betwixt chewed-up car and truck that is genuinely thrilling to behold! Arguably, the film's strongest appeal will be to trigger-happy recidivist DTV addicts and Gary Busey freaks. Personal highlights include, Lamas's earnest delivery of his 'Live Long and Prosper' line, beautifully batso Busey's toothsome terror tactics, and whoever did the gnarly fire stunt on the lake clearly had some monster cojones!!!!!

Following the detonation of a dirty bomb, the UK is gruesomely plunged into bloody chaos as the dead return to shambling gore-guzzling life! I mostly enjoyed this bargain bucket, blood-spattered, nihilistic throwback to Romero's The Crazies and NOTLD. The performances are earnest, if not always convincing, photography is crudely effective, and a doomy atmosphere is credibly maintained throughout. Zombie Undead is a basic, zestily old school zombie chunkblower, and sometimes that's just what this splatter Mad Hatter needs! I find myself to be in the minority of those who openly enjoyed 'Zombie Undead'.

Melancholy Circus performer Tara Talbot (Victoria Sanchez) suffers from hypertrichosis, and yearns to break away from the freakshow and live life as a normal teenaged girl. With a wonderful cast, this quirky lycanthropic curiosity is coloured with a captivating array of enjoyably eccentric characters, and an especially sympathetic protagonist in the increasingly beleaguered Tara. Obviously, since this is essentially a horror-inflected tragedy, Tara's happy ever after is gruesomely earned, her bloody vengeance wholly justified. As always, the commanding Tim Curry steals the show, but ol' fuzzy face stole my heart! I was very taken by the story, having great empathy for the carny folk, and I'd love to see a restored version of this blood warmingly adult fairy tale.

The charismatic, yet entirely dissolute uncle Bernard (Mark Burns) takes the adorable bairn Winnie (Beatrice Edney) out for a chill, bracingly rainswept day at the beach with thrillingly unpredictable results. Engagingly written by Roman Polanski, and co-directed by Simon Hesera & Polanski, this dark, well-made, strongly acted 70s drama holds up well, and remains a moodily compelling period piece. A little stagey at times, the performances are robust, young Edney is quite charming, and a playful Peter Sellers is palpably having fun with his lavender-hued cameo, and it all concludes in a rewardingly downbeat 70s manner.

A couple of lively, prototypically querulous L. A. Cops, Tucker (Bill Paxton) and Terri (Lindsay Frost) fatefully discover the terrifying truth behind the sinisterly shapeshifting exploits of an alien in this enjoyably noisome 90s Sci-actioner. This neglected time killer has a golden cast, slam bang action, goofball buddy Cop badinage, mild weirdosity, healthy schlock elements and a thunderous climax, giving Monolith some viable B-movie heft. I can appreciate why some disparage Monolith, and, hopefully, they might also do me the same courtesy and regard my earnest enjoyment with comparable equanimity. You say Tomato, I say Clamato, what cooks your goose don't do much for your Gander etc. Etc. Etc. Patently Low brow, not quite monobrow, Monolith is less compelling than The Hidden, yet the cosy familiarity of the Twilight Zoned text kept me tuned in. Hey!!! No one in full command of their mental faculties will ever claim this specific Monolith is responsible for the evolution of man, but I'm more of a devolutionist, anyhoo!!!

This captivatingly eccentric, splendidly slapsticky Japanese Horror comedy has Noodles of charm and refreshingly off-kilter absurdity! Battle Heater: Kotatsu remains an absolute must-see for any that appreciate subversive wit along with their exultant WTF'ery!!! The lively performances, vivid practical FX and Iida's nimble filmmaking proved wholly irresistible! I enjoyed it that much more knowing nothing about the film beforehand, and, happily, understood even less once it had finished! I only wish more genre films would confound me so deliciously! There are a dazzling number of inventive, crisply edited set-pieces that lend Battle Heater: Kotatsu a toothsomely macabre Buster Keaton quality. The fascinatingly wayward inhabitants of Kirin Court are a compellingly strange lot, and one might have to dig a little deeper to discover a monster more enjoyably whimsical than an evilly sentient, insatiably man-eating, hungrily kilowatt sucking Kotatsu (heated table).

A veteran FBI agent (Robert Conrad) is recalled from retirement to eliminate a rampaging killer cyborg (Richard Young) that has gone murderously rogue. This fun TV Sci-actioner remains more than watchable fare, enhanced by a fine cast of familiar genre faces, and I've always got room for one more Man Vs Cybermaniac B-thriller! Assassin certainly isn't a neglected cult classic, but it is competently made, with decent action, and I've always admired the quality character work of gifted Thespians Len Birman and Jonathan Banks! Perhaps, those weaned on a high fiber optic diet of Six Million Dollar Man, and Reb Brown's roustabout Captain America might get more of a cybernetically enhanced kick out of Sandor Stern's 'Assassin' than others.

Ozzy (Eddie Thompson), a young East End hustler, and a beautiful, yet naïve eastern european drug mule Zia (Isabella Nefar) forge an unlikely alliance following a brutal, life altering incident with his vicious gangster boss. A far from routine exercise in urban angst, Small City cannily avoids most of the expected inner City Chav-fest clichés. The dark and moody themes of underworld brutality, and bloody catharcis are excitingly expressed in a vibrant manner. Palpably big-hearted, Small City is a blunt, smart, refreshingly humanist darksided drama. The two disparate, increasingly desperate runaways, forced on the lam by Ozzy's protective instincts make for enormously sympathetic protagonists, and their appealingly open, natural performances allow for genuine sympathy. Small City is an electric urban thriller, replete with shockingly violent interludes, yet remaining a compellingly intimate, panther paced story of two dispossessed young people who find one another in the direst of circumstances.

A tough city Cop (Robert Forster) determinedly tracks down a vicious predatory serial killer (Duncan Regehr), a degenerate yuppie sleaze who targets high-priced prostitutes. Stylized, formulaic, and garishly entertaining, William Webb's lurid 80s psycho-thriller is agreeably inflected with grisly slasher trope tendencies. This mostly engaging, relatively obscure thriller merits from a pretty solid cast, suffers from a so-so text, and perks up with a rewardingly blood-caked cop vs grandstanding psycho climax. While the kicks are minimal, it's still kinda fun watching this prototypically boozy, donut-chugging cop go after a creepy, crossbow-weilding soul-stealing whackjob.

Holidaying in a Mexican resort with her wealthy husband (Robert Vaughan), the exquisitely beautiful, yet neurotic Wife Dina Hunter (Barbara Eden) is aggressively pursued by swarthy, increasingly shady beach bum Paul(Walt Whitman). Top draw entertainment, The Woman Hunter enjoys luscious scenery, conspicuous jet-setting splendour, an exceptional cast, and a devilishly exciting plot. Kowalski's immensely pleasurable The Woman Hunter remains another gripping 70s TV psycho-thriller greatly elevated by Brian Clemen's quality text, fine acting and a wonderfully engaging twisty turny climax! The charming, distractingly beautiful Barbara Eden is utterly captivating, so any that appreciate smart vintage thrillers, and buxom uber bombshell Eden should hunt down this dazzling TV gem with alacrity!

A centuries old conflict betwixt good and evil is to be fought in the present, martial arts master Tong Lee (Eric Lee) is grimly fated, once again, to battle the fiendish Master Demon (Gerald Okamura). With mankind's destiny held precariously in the balance, Kung Fu powerhouse Lee must call upon his prodigious combat skills to prevent a demon-seeded apocalypse!!! Let's get uncommonly real, any luridly low budget Martial Arts action spectacular that excitingly commences with a gonzo Kung Fu battle featuring a deliciously demonic Gerald Okamura is objectively going to be far groovier than anything you might have otherwise chosen to watch. A seriously sinewy Tong Lee proves electric as the heroic white warrior, charismatic B-icon Gerald Okamura is on dynamically Stentorian form as the malefic Master Demon, and his sinisterly sexy sidekick Medusa (Kay Baxter Young) makes for a memorably muscular, magnificently man-mashing Amazon! With a consistently entertaining Ed Wooden aesthetic, the exhilaratingly scrap-happy The master Demon is some idiot savant level chop-schlocky genius, baby! Z-Grade filmmaking coupled with A-list lunacy is a red-hot recipe for B-movie batso brilliance!!!

Handsome young Ad executive Jon Ratcliff (Joseph Bottoms), blinded from a head injury, is treated by Keir Dullea, who fits him with a sonar gizmo that partially returns his sight. Utilizing his staggered Tron-Vision Jon continues his furtive observation of his beautiful model ex-lover (Lana Clarkson), but accidentally 'sees' the sadistic scalpel slasher dispatch one of his many victims! This stylish techno-Giallo has a lively score, compelling performances, and an especially lovely turn from the ravishing Kirstie Alley. This vibrantly neon-hued, thrillingly lurid, crimson-splashed 80s slasher is an unfairly neglected Athenian Giallo from acclaimed exploitation master Mastorakis! Expect plentiful T & A, groovy Tron-vision, lavish picture postcard scenery, bloody kills, and a terrifically exciting climax!

A number of high-flying military personnel are quite literally vanishing into thin air, and a brainy team of scientists, headed by aggressively libidinous Alpha Dog Patrick Allen, are secretly tasked to locate them. Playing like a feature length episode of Department S, fun 60s Sci-shocker The Body Stealers remains a compelling, uniquely British example of mysterious, indelibly 60s science fiction. The memorable opening gambit of the eerily evaporating skydivers captured my imagination, and the pulpy plot maintained my interest until its splendidly cosmic conclusion! Referencing James Bond and Dr. Who, for such a relatively obscure, low budget B-Feature, The Body Stealers laudably aims high, having some spectacular aeronautical sequences, with the voluptuous vision of celestial seductress Lorna Wilde's birthday suit proving no less dazzling!!!! Competently made, beguilingly British, with engaging performances, this zesty extraterrestrial Tigon gem is stratospherically elevated by TV theme icon Reg Tilsley's fabulously far out score.

A controversial figure to some, but a hero to me, unabashed plagiarist Bruno Mattei alchemically fashions burnished B-movie gold in his gloriously cheapnis, shamelessly pilfered Sci-fried mash-up of Terminator and Aliens. Shocking Dark is deservedly heralded today as a B-Titan, but if you haven't had the absurdly uplifting pleasure, do seek it out with alacrity. Shocking Dark remains a one-inna-million trash-tastic triumph, an exemplary, credibility shattering Grindhouse grenade that will shred your schlock horror hungry face off! The delicious dearth of dramatic credulity, artistic integrity or production value merely accentuates the bizarrely rigorous fascination that I have for this boldly bungled B-banger!!!

While I can grudgingly accept disparaging comments about the retrograde filmmaking, some of the crude banter herein is undeniably epic, and wholly beyond reproach! An entirely guilt free cinematic joy, as Mattei's exhilaratingly silly Sci-Schlocker Shocking Dark beguiles you with its bravura B-Movie brilliance! Very little rivals Mattei's Rats for bonkers B-Movie madness, but Shocking Dark comes dangerously close! I can recall reading an article that claimed only genuinely erotic people appreciated Shocking Dark, and, with all due humility, there just might be something to that! After only a relatively short duration, I finally warmed to the frightened girl's relentless cries of "Sarah!!! Sarah!!?? I'm scared!!!!"

Following her distressed brother Yuma's (Ryota Bando)sudden disappearance, his beautiful, psychically gifted psychologist sister (Ayaka Miyoshi)visits his last known destination, an eerie, infamously haunted and ill-omened locale known as "Howling Village." Her investigation fatefully exposes a shocking revelation that this benighted village's terrible mysteries are connected to her family! Takashi Shimizu's unsettling, atmospherically doom-laden narrative is an immersive spook-fest with some monumentally shuddersome sequences! The quality performances and technical aspects are exemplary, and I'm quite sure your angsty trip into Howling Village should prove memorably macabre! I loved Shimizu's masterful J-Horror treat, and the feral, ghoulish-looking spectres are splendidly spooktacular! The dark, cryptic mythology of The Howling Village is compellingly strange, and its malign mystery should prove thrilling to fans of intelligent folkloric horror. The moody, emotionally stirring climax is genuinely exciting, and I found Shimizu's Howling Village to be a fascinatingly creepy admixture of Dark Water & The Returned.

Released by an ancient incantation, a rageful horde of reanimated dead Ninja perpetrate a bloody suburban rampage with only cornball collegiate Doofi to stop them from world domination!!!! Ninja Zombies is a predictably silly, mostly fun no-budget Zom-splatter dorkfest. If the splendidly catchy title of 'Ninja Zombies', and it all it luridly suggests, has any appeal, then you might just appreciate this shambling Slop socky chunkblower. That being said, if the title Ninja Zombies, and all that it luridly suggests has no such appeal, then Ninja Zombies is resolutely not for you, dude!

Played strictly for goofy, gore-laden laffs, the crude filmmaking, rudimentary FX, and enthusiastically amateurish performances are all manifestly part of Ninja Zombies aggressively Tromaesque allure! Hey!!!!! Speaking of Troma, the legendary scion of sleazy splatter unleashes a colourfully Gun-ho cameo! I watched this based upon the notably goofy merits of its subjectively mirthsome trailer, which, is, quite frequently, an entirely risky business. I frequently found Cooper's jocular chop sloppy Ninja nerdquake's relentless dorkiness remarkably refreshing, but I can appreciate other's finding it monumentally irksome.

Capable Kung Fu cops Blake (Merhi) and Stone (Evan Laurie) attempt to apprehend a crazed, monomaniacal virtual reality developer (David Bradley) whose failed AI system caused the death of a soldier. With Evan Lurie, Jalal Merhi, and David Bradley one would expect some righteous beatdowns, which excitingly, it does! The purloined plot & stock dialogue is unleavened B-grade bosh, but no one rewatches 90s DTV actioners for the enlightened poetry, it is the cathartic plenitude of bullet-blasted, bone-breaking, rib-wrecking action that keeps 'em coming back for more! Merhi is a competent genre filmmaker, a solid martial artist, and a one-dimensional actor, but he is ably supported by a quality cast, with studly Sensei David Bradley giving an energized performance as the axe-happy comic book baddie Dr. Vincent MacIntyre.

In reality, the VR inflected actioner Expect To Die provides more of a blazing bullet-bonanza than a relentless Martial arts spectacular, but the fights are certainly lively enough. Beefy B-Hero Evan Lurie is usually seen as 'sinisterly scowling henchman No3.', and he equips himself well as likeable, hard-hitting wiseacre cop Stone. Merhi's entertaining, competently made, (then) high-tech shoot 'em up 'Expect To Die' remains a pretty fun ride, and concludes rousingly in a slam bang Bradley/Merhi showdown. (Lazar Rockwood fans might also care to note that he makes a brief, yet inimitable, appearance.)

Teflon tough ex-Navy Seal Mick (Roddy Piper) soon finds himself under siege, piloting a sleek schooner for a no less luxurious-looking drug baron's wife Nola (Tawny Kitaen). It is not long before his sinewy special skills are needfully called upon as Mick lands himself in increasingly stormy waters! This entirely watchable, sex-singed 90s seafaring actioner is vastly improved by the amiable, aesthetically pleasing presence of Roddy Piper and wanton Whitesnake temptress Kitaen, as the oft waterlogged plot is ably revivified by these charismatic actors. B-Movie Adonis Miles O'Keefe also appears as single-minded a D. E. A hardass desperate to arrest ruthless drug trafficker Juan (Juan Fernandez). 'Dead Tides' is more of a salty Zalman King flesh-fantasy than relentless PM Entertainment bullet-fest, since lusty captain Mick mostly relies upon his harpoon than his trusty Roscoe! Successful ladies man Mick gets oar than he bargained for once he climbs aboard the more than ship shape seductress Nola in Serge Rodnunsky's pleasingly saucy shoot 'em up 'Dead Tides'.

The gifted artiste, Pauline Black, is entirely wonderful as the enigmatic, bazooka-fisted psychic commando in Simon Sprackling's playful, deliciously crude splatter comedy Funnyman. The splashy gore, garish psychedelics, flavoursome flushes of toilet humour and unfiltered absurdity provide, for me, the film's greatest appeal. A luridly ribald 'Carry On Slashing' atmosphere is successfully maintained throughout, and the crass, glibly goring jester remains one of the more memorably mirthsome B-Movie misanthropes. Granted, not for all terror tastes, but for those who can readily appreciate Funnyman's boorish, blood-basted, bargain-binned aesthetic, its rapacious stupidity remains gloriously undiminished!

A pretty popular student Yuka Hidaka (Airi Suzuki) and her fellow bullying companions desperately seek a way to protect themselves from a curse that victimised classmate Hinako Kurohane (Miyabi Natsuyaki) imbedded within the text of her school play. What commences as a routine 'ostracize the gifted outsider' narrative thrillingly takes a far more disturbing jaunt into the macabre when the solitary, unfairly beleaguered Kurohane unleashes her poisoned prose upon her abusers! Asato's low budget, enjoyably creepy high school J-Horror gem features girl band Buono! And enjoys a number of deliciously spooksome moments! It would certainly appear that wielded by the demonic digits of Kurohane the pen is far mightier than the sword! The performances are fine, the scares are fun, but the film's resounding star is the truly tragic figure of Ms. Kurohane, and the terribly melancholic revelations within her diary.

A high-spirited girly weekend romp in the countryside becomes a grisly fight for survival in Rupert Bryan's enjoyably mean-spirited backwoods Brit-slasher. This low budget, decidedly feral femme-led fright flick cuts to the chase with pleasing alacrity, as these metropolitan lovelies are swifty stalked, stripped and summarily slashed, with only their tough ex-soldier companion Kate (Zara Phythian)to protect them. Those seeking originality, might better seek a back road less travelled, but The Hike generously delivers some bloodily bucolic Last Grouse on The left I Spit on Your Cave B-splatter goodness! Like some boisterous Video Nasty pantomime, the boorish baddies are eminently hissable, and only the palpably sociopathic won't be rooting for the gruesomely beleaguered, heroically hard-hitting heroine Kate. I dug it, many didn't, their loss, mayte. High point, horny honey's getting their heinies hacked, downer, Tamer Hassan has a very small part!

Four holidaying humps on a kill-fated outing in the blackened cleft of nowhere are gruesomely set upon by grievously grot guzzling, flesh frenzied cannibal Killbillies in this guilelessly splat-happy 80s S. O. V blood-spiller. Cannibal Campout is sordidly spattered with more slitherous intestines than a direct hit on a Sumo wrestling stable!!! Fuglier than week-old roadkill! Hotter than an Eggnog Funema!!! And stupider than a canapé of candied cretins!!! Cannibal Campout remains the kind of tawdry retrograde slasher that should have been flushed away with the soiled scrap of noserag it was benightedly scrawled upon. Exploitation Maven Mahnfahrt Panzerflesh controversially bestowed this odoriferous pile of celluloid snoot an inexplicably lofty 10 Body Bags rating??!!! Turgid, woefully acted, and palpably smelly, Cannibal Campout has all the refined cinematic appeal of a ruptured honey wagon, and I still massively hate myself for momentarily enjoying this gracelessly sanguineous S. O. V spazzout.

This amiably cutesy Canuck sports flick finds sassy Vegas gal (Carling Bassett) visiting Florida with her equally vivacious showgirl mom Stevie (Susan Anton) to compete in the prestigious Junior national's tennis championship. It's palpably lightweight fare, but enjoyably easy on the eye, and the quality cast does the best it can with the occasionally prosaic material. While an interest in tennis proves superfluous, any that appreciate nubile sporty girls noisily exerting themselves, and plentifully suggestive badinage will find that these especially flighty balls are very much in their court! The bouncy Spring Fever energetically serves up a hormonal, solar-heated slice of teenaged hi jinks, which certainly has its fair share of ballsy, boisterously backhanded protagonists! It's a pretty gloopy, syrupy, sweetly sappy confection, but like another popular treacly Canadian export, I kinda like it that way! My only minor quibble is watching such a pyrotechnical performer as Jessica Walters stymied by her highly strung, one-note, waspishly unlikeable character.

Troubled whiskey priest Father James (Andrew Squires) returns to his former parish, only to discover that the volatile admixture of copiously ingested highland spirits, and the increasingly toxic spirits of two dead parishioners undo the rather less than godly servant of god. While earnest indie Brit-shocker Heretic is hampered by a low budget, its saving graces are an eye-boggling bounty of blonde bombshells next-door, a serviceably spooky text, and mostly credible performances. All of their suburban soap opera sins explode in a horrifically histrionic, Crucifix shattering climax! I think the writer/director's faith in his bucolic, bible basher is to be praised, as Handford's homespun, hysteria-laden horror Heretic remains a testament to the stalwart efforts of his dedicated cast and crew. I'm not sure Heretic is ever fully exorcised of its Emmerdale Harms small screen aesthetic, yet this dogma decimating downer's reliance on oppressive preternatural atmospherics over Kensington Gore is hugely to its credit.

Maverick, Teflon tough cop (Roddy Piper) tracks his wife's killer, psycho Lunar prison escapee Adrian Dunn(Billy Drago) who is now sinisterly spreading his deadly alien contagion in Boston circa 2009. It still remains wholly credible to boldly claim that any 90s DTV actioner starring Billy Drago & Roddy Piper will surely deliver, and Svatek's dystopian, enjoyably pulpy shoot 'em up proves this durable movie maxim most ably! The occasionally turgid, by-the-numbers text is happily given a much-needed adrenaline boost by dynamic B-Icons Piper and Drago. This explosive, slickly-honed Sci-actioner would fit snugly in PM Entertainment's pyro-packed wheelhouse, giving avid DTV action freaks a thrilling, thunderously twin-fisted, high-voltaged jolt of escapist, bullet-shredded, B-Movie brain melt! Drago proves memorably grotesque as the despicably drooling degenerate Dunn, and Piper's earthy charisma, and unapologetic masculinity is put to good use as burly White Knight cop Cameron.