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Reviews
Unfallen (2017)
One low and no gung-ho
To view such poor acting, horridly overweight slobs, and shabby Army/Navy store uniforms made this a difficult watch.
Just a poor bore that did nothing for the stock of Madsen. I am certain this is one that he would prefer to throw into the La Brea Tar Pits and never mention again.
Reminiscent of Middle School dialogue shoveled back and forth between kiddos, this flick became more comical as it pressed toward its conclusion.
Absent emotion, the plot was ridiculous. If you decide to endure it, as I did, smoke a few first to ease the pain and suffering.
I need to type a few more characters to meet the minimum limit, so to fellow grunts, just pull the pin, hold tight, and take a knee.
The Stranded (2019)
SLUGGISH
Ep 1 gave us a grand start with that colossal wave that smashed over the volcanic island, but it left us with a low tide to contend with.
The setting was super, but unnecessary, flat dialogue moved us at a sluggish pace that absolutely had fast-forward in the crosshairs.
Ep 1 and Ep 7 are all we need, because everything in between is lackluster and abysmal.
Flashbacks were quite meaningless and served as a distraction while they contemplated their struggle for survival.
Disjointed and wooden gay scenes were followed by forced and odd lesbian action that served as filler more than anything else.
If you are going to endure this missed opportunity, you may want to hide your remote so that you won't press the FF button.
Batalion (2015)
Entertaining History
Entertainment rules this action splashed flick with the backdrop of history giving it a slight nod. Great acting, dialogue and scenes make it a lively watch, but if you are looking for a docu-history film, then you'll have a lot to criticize.
During the First World War, Russia indeed recruited and formed some 5,000 women into a handful of battalions and detachments in hope of creating a catalyst for the war-weary male military units on the front. In fact, two all-female battalions entered into combat but not to the extent that we enjoy in this 2015 remake of fighting on the front.
Battalion, however, doesn't disappoint as we ride the action-packed train realizing that it was never an attempt to rewrite history, but rather something, perhaps 2 hours that will be worth the viewing.
Deadly Wives (2013)
Killer Grams and Femme Fatales
With a tint of Detective and a pinch of Autopsy, Deadly Wives (LMN) has given us a limited series in an otherwise drought genre of killer wives.
Reminiscent of the series Autopsy (HBO), we have the ominous narration, plethora of witnesses and first-hand accounts, actual interviews, and forensic science.
Do we really know any one that well?
A short-lived series, Deadly Wives proves that a book cannot be judged by its thinly-pressed cover. The series shatters the one-way-glass stereotype of first appearances as we traverse the lives of from passive grandmas, sweet soccer moms, church leaders, to outright very hard-hearted black widows.
I'm in Love with a Church Girl (2013)
The first C movie!
The worst acting and storyline ever put on film. Two hours of forced, unrehearsed lines in this sappy first C production to date. If you wanna know the definition of wooden dialogue, then watch this sow wallow through the mire.
Frozen (2010)
Mr. and Mrs. Frosty Face
Let's freeze our faces off because donning the hoods and zipping the coats to the top was just not fashionable.
Has anyone been outside in the cold?
Yup, we all have or will, and we definitely use the cords, strings, and zips to their full potential, which would cover every part and portion of the neck, face, head, and leave about a ONE INCH port for viewing. Breathing cold air would be minimal too, since the nose and mouth would be protected from the elements by layers.
Toward the end, there were obvious goofs with little to no frost bite or chapped lips and skin, but that too is not vogue.
Absolutely absurd, but hey, gave it THREE STARS because of the wolves.
Deadly Suspicion (2022)
Good flick
Good plot and storyline join good acting and make for an overall watchable flick. Supporting faces also bring a few twists before the film bids the audience ado. The excessive, exaggerated cam zoom of body parts is a bit too much and absolutely annoying. Otherwise, a good watch.
Resident Evil (2022)
POSER PRODIGY
This poser series is sad endorsement of the RE franchise and was difficult to stomach beyond episode one.
The eight watches could and should have been reduced to just one for maximum effect, but while it was a parasitic attempt to capitalize on the venerable RE installments, it was a complete bore fest at best.
SKIP > NEXT.
Psycho Intern (2021)
A good watch
In a female psycho rich genre, it was actually nice to see the heels on a male lead. Gave an extra 2 stars for the classic, I spat in your food scene.
Give it a spin, it's a watch.
Hampton's Legion (2021)
WORST EVER
This abysmal failure of a flick would have been better if they had just said nothing. To say it was bad is a compliment; it was the worst ever.
And with a drought in the production of period pieces, this flop didn't help the genre a lick.
Nope (2022)
DRIBBLE
Complete fail >>> FF to NEXT.
When movies fail to introduce great acting with captivating dialogue, just use dribble, a whole bunch of horses, and a ton of very weird sounds.
NOPE.
Band of Rebels (2022)
Absolute Garbage
This atrocious attempt at digital media was a wasted opportunity to produce a period piece.
If folks want to know why there is a great drought for the genre, just watch this sow.
Vengeance (2020)
A difficult watch
A lackluster attempt to make an ole geezer the hero falls rather short with too much dialogue from flat characters.
Had hoped for more, but admittedly, I found myself fighting with the fast-forward during the disjointed conversations. One example is the elderly neighbor whose dialogue should have been 2 minutes, but we must endure exactly 7 minutes of her rambling.
FF to the last 15 minutes and then > NEXT.
Keep Breathing (2022)
Floppin Flounders!
Are you marooned in the middle of the sticks? Would you burn your winning lottery ticket while striving to return to civilization and society? Can you hold your breath for 5 minutes? If you answered yes-yes-yes, then perhaps this B series is for you, but for the rest of us, we just want our 3 plus hours back. Will the last one out please flush.
Thumper (2017)
Dump the Thump
Thumper threw some serious curves with actors in their mid- to late 30s, which looked their age, still attending high school, or was it prep school? It was a disjointed flick for several reasons, one noted, and another flaw is that the undercover gal, with the pink strands, gave a very sub par performance for a highly trained undercover law enforcement officer, such as digging through a dealer's trash during the day (while he is home), to injecting smack but continually refusing to hit on every joint offered to her.
Another bad miss was the so-called "cook," a military veteran, who, while trying to get his VA script filled at some store (VA meds are mailed directly to your home), was told several times that his insurance was no good (there is no insurance for VA meds).
While one can not understand why a disabled vet is at a drug store trying to get his VA meds in the first place, it gets worse. During this horrible scene, he obviously stepped right in front of some gal who had been in line, for who knows how long, waiting to talk with the same pharmacist, but she smiles at him as he brushes her aside and presses his clumsy dialogue with the pharmacist for his meds, and as he exits, he and the patience of Job gal, make eye contact, and she continues to smile as though standing in line was so very pleasant. During his awkward tirade with the pharmacist, moreover, he stated a few times that his medical condition was because of the war, stating it was service related, meaning service-connected, which further affirms that he would not have paid a dime, because there is no such animal as having or needing insurance for the medication. VA vets, which he and others affirmed he was in other scenes, don't have "insurance" for their service-connected meds or even their visits, and they don't go to CVS or Walgreens to get it.
The narcs exaggerated and poorly portrayed love and sympathy for many of those involved with drugs, was also flat and out of character for any undercover officer. (Undercover or plain clothes officers, feds to lowest levels of government, are the 'best' and are those with many years of experience and being on the beat in uniform.)
These are just a few examples of a poorly researched, scripted and produced film. If you want a good one in the genre, see "Drug Store Cowboy," which was not only based on fact but was executed with that strong sense of realism indeed - and it was only released after the real players approved of the production.