Reviews
Paris 2024: XXXIII Olympic Summer Games (2024)
Where are the sports?
Every 4 years we are reminded that NBC has no clue when it comes to covering sports.
Instead of showing more events, there are endless "up close and personal" stories about the athletes, their coaches, their families, their friends, the guy who drives the team bus . . .
And when they are not showing those, there are pointless feature stories with correspondents going to a cheese factory, going to a chocolate factory, going to a museum. Snoop Dogg swimming with Michael Phelps. Snoop Dogg doing something with Martha Stewart.
(WHY is Snoop Dogg there every time you turn around? Because he is plugging the NBC show, The Voice, that's why. He has nothing whatsoever to do with sports.)
With all the time NBC wastes plugging its own shows or giving us "insights," they could broadcast many more events.
And when they do manage to cover an event, NBC screws it up royally. Watching Katie Ledecky swim, they follow her back and forth each lap of the pool, and barely mention the other competitors in the water with her. They show her swimming underwater, an aerial view, a drone follows her. Who came in second and third? NBC doesn't care. They seemingly can only cover one athlete at a time.
I could go on -- there is so much wasted time and awful commentary. See you in 2028 when it will be just as bad, if not worse.
Beyond Paradise (2023)
I really wanted to like this.
I agree with the many other reviewers who said that the pregnancy/IVF subplot drags the show down.
For me, it is a deal-breaker. If I want to see family drama, I would watch a family drama show. The thing is, i NEVER want to see family drama. I'm watching TV to escape, not be dragged into other peoples' problems.
I wanted to see interesting characters solving interesting mysteries. I hoped it would be as light-hearted as Death in Paradise, or, even better, Shakespeare and Hathaway.
But, no. We have Humphrey/Martha going on and on about whether or not to have a baby, whether or not to get married. This is Humphrey's second attempt at happy marriage with a second woman who does not know what she wants with him. Her ambivalence is maddening. Have to say, though, as annoying as these scenes were, they showed that Kris Marshall is a very good actor.
Then we have Martha vs. Annoying Mother. Imagine elbowing your mom out of her house so that you can lie to the foster agency. And then letting Mother completely hijack your wedding plans. And then canceling at the literal last minute. You know she's not getting any deposits back. Crazy people.
And then we have another mother/daughter struggle between Esther and Zoe. This one not as bad as Martha/Mom, but still, can we get back to the mystery? The reason I'm watching this?
On the positive side, I liked the other regular characters, namely sweet and surprisingly smart PC Kelby and former hippie Margo.
I also liked that the writers dumped the worn-out formula of assembling all of the suspects together so that Humphrey can monologue and finally point to the murderer/culprit and say "AHA! IT WAS YOU!"
Instead we see Humphrey and Esther watch like ghosts as the deeds are done and Humphrey describes what happened. Much better.
Also enjoyed the Christmas special story, and how that was woven into the second season.
In summary, I was disappointed, not surprised that it was not extended beyond 2 seasons.
Austenland (2013)
Wonderful Surprise
Here I am in 2024 watching this film, having never heard of it before. It's wonderful. Light and funny and an adorable send up of Austenmania.
Lovely performances by everyone involved, with the exception of Jennifer Coolidge, who basically plays the same character in everything she does. Pretty soon people will catch on to that.
Meanwhile, scenes that are very silly are made believable by the talented cast.
Surprise ending, which I won't spoil.
Like I said, I never heard of this film before, and I don't know why. What was going on in 2013 that this film slipped by unnoticed? I mean, it's not an award-worthy achievement, but it is a good solid comedy with a satisfying romance.
Loki (2021)
Excellent Series Ruined by Jarring Commercials
New to this party, I just got Disney+ included for free with my cable service.
Commercials on basic cable are bad enough, but at least they are managed in a way that does not completely rupture the viewing experience.
I would rather pay for a streaming service than endure commercials the way that Disney+ does them.
They abruptly cut from show to commercial, with no rhyme or reason. They literally interrupt lines of dialogue with 15-second ads. There is no consideration for the mood of the scene. They completely destroy the flow of the episodes. That doesn't matter when you're watching a sitcom or a RomCom. But when a great series so creatively takes you to another universe, it's too jarring when they suddenly cut to an ad for family vacations at Great Wolf Lodge.
Aside from that, I managed to enjoy Loki very much. Some random thoughts:
Except for the frequent (and tedious) fight scenes, this felt more like 2 seasons of Dr. Who than a typical Marvel Studios production. Especially the time travel concepts. Mobius was like a Companion to Loki's Doctor. (Or maybe Mobius was the Doctor and Loki the Companion?) In the end, Loki's transformation resembled what the Doctors experience when they regenerate.
Never thought anyone would make a TV series about the Tennessee Valley Authority, but there it is.
I honestly could not follow about 15% of the plot, and I honestly think it doesn't matter. True to life, we don't always understand what is going on, we just need to relax and enjoy the proverbial "ride."
Whoever cast Owen Wilson as Mobius is a genius. It's a wonderful performance. However, I was frequently distracted by Owen's nose. What happened to it? Looks like he may have broken it a couple of times. Sorry I'm shallow.
Original music score is extraordinary. Glad to see the composer got several nominations for her work.
I'm probably going to rewatch this from the beginning, sometime soon.
Britannia (2017)
For Sadists Only
I really wanted to like this show, I really did. I've always been interested in early British history. Celts, Druids, Romans, I thought, should be good!
However, Britannia terrible. I only made it half-way through S1E3 before I had to turn it off.
I've read most of the other 1-star reviews, and agree that this series is poorly written, directed, costumed, casted, and shot. But that's not what made me stop watching it.
The episodes consist mainly of scene after scene of torture and mutilation, blood curdling screams, etc. If you enjoy that sort of thing, this series is for you. But not for me. I found this to be disgusting sensationalism with zero artistic value.
And can someone explain to me what language these various peoples were supposedly speaking to each other? Not one single interpreter was employed by anyone anywhere.
The Tomorrow War (2021)
DO NOT FEED THE WILDLIFE
Terrible film. Stupid premise, stupid execution.
Soldiers from 2053 time travel back to 2021 to recruit people to time travel back to 2053 to kill the alien species that is annihilating humans. They draft civilians over 40 (because they might be dead by 2053 and therefore not run into themselves), and dump them in Miami without any training.
Chris Pratt ends up meeting his daughter, who has grown up to be a colonel in the army and a brilliant scientist. She has developed a gas that kills the male aliens and is looking for a way to kill the females. Maybe I wasn't paying attention when they explained why they were dumping unqualified (and out of shape) civilians instead of using the gas to kill as many aliens as they could. All they were doing was feeding people to the aliens.
As anyone who has ever dealt with wildlife (in this case, aliens) can tell you, you should never feed them. If you do, you can never get rid of them. It's OK if pigeons follow you around the park, but it's a very bad idea to keep handing over juicy humans to these aliens. Nobody thought "If we just hide from them, they'll get desperate and start eating each other. Problem solved."
Anyway, Daughter finds the right chemical to kill the females, but then, alas, she dies. Pratt takes the chemical back to the present. Then we discover that the aliens are already on Earth (don't ask) because their ship crash landed in the Arctic a long time ago. Due to global warming, the ice they were covered with is melting and that's how they got loose. Thanks, global warming. Good job.
Pratt gets a crew together, they go to the Arctic and find the ship, kill a handful of aliens with the chemical, and then are attacked by the rest. They finally blow up the ship (they didn't need the chemical, after all) and Pratt kills the last alien in a fistfight. Really.
This story has all the usual cliches, including the Estranged Family Member. It's usually an Ex Wife, but in this unique twist, it's Grumpy Dad Who Left Me When I Was a Child. J. K. Simmons is wasted in this mess, but nevertheless delivers the best line in the film, "Did you really tell it to DIE?"
Barbarians Rising: Resistance (2016)
Gratuitous Violence Porn - Not History
I watch The History Channel in order to learn about history. I turned off this program because it was a nonstop series of extremely violent scenes of bloodlust and sadism.
The Romans massacred 30,000 Lusitanians. Just say so. There is no need to cosplay each and every murder.
You don't need to show every single stab of a sword, every single lopping off of a limb, accompanied by the appropriate groans and moans. We get it. These were violent people in a violent time.
This sickening, gratuitous depiction of the hacking of bodies is not necessary.
No wonder the world is so violent. No wonder people mow down innocent bystanders with assault weapons as if it was nothing to them. Programs like this contribute to the deadening of the human sensitivity to violence and physical pain.
War of the Worlds (2019)
War of the Worlds Stupid People Tricks, and other Random Thoughts
"Created and Written by Howard Overman" So, not based on War of the Worlds by H.G. Wells? Not even close. Howard, could you not come up with an original title?
A supposedly experienced cab driver turns all the way around in his seat to talk to a passenger in the back, crashes the car. Ooops.
A scientist is looking for her sister. She finds a little girl who has survived the initial attack. Little girl tells scientist that she hid in a cave. Scientist doesn't ask the little girl to show her where the cave is. Maybe her sister hid in the cave, too? No. Instead, the scientist is going to walk all the way to Grenoble because maybe her sister survived by walking all the way to Grenoble?
Mom and kids decide to stay in a hotel overnight. There are dead bodies in the first room they enter. Mom checks the second room, says "It's OK." Does she check the bathroom for dead bodies? Of course not!
Everybody in France and England walking, walking, walking . . . Can't they find any bicycles?
A metal monster dog robot climbs on top of Gabriel Byrne and . . . Elizabeth McGovern grabs a machine gun, shoots it and kills it? All those soldiers with weapons and armor couldn't kill it, but Elizabeth McGovern's gun has magic bullets that pierce the metal and hit the tiny slimy organic thing inside the robot. Wouldn't the bullets just ricochet off of the metal exterior?
Episode 4 (this is where I stopped watching): Still no bikes? Bodies not rotting yet? No smells? No animals feasting off of the dead bodies?
Just one dog so far? And why did Gabriel Byrne and Elizabeth McGovern leave the dog? What kind of soulless people are they?
In the middle of this slow-moving mess, creator and writer Howard Overman drops in a scene where we learn that a brother raped his sister and she had his child and mother knew and that's why she didn't let them visit her at the same time . . . WHAT is this scene doing in this story?????
CONCLUSION: This version of War of the Worlds stinks more than the corpses strewn all over every scene. It is more soap opera than sci fi. Give it a pass, and re-watch the film with Tom Cruise. If you can stand Dakota Fanning's screaming, it is a much better version of the book.