Posted originally on the Archive of Our Own at http://archiveofourown.org/works/677614.

Rating: Archive Warning: Category: Fandom: Relationship: Character: Teen And Up Audiences Underage M/M Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling Cedric Diggory/Harry Potter Harry Potter, Cedric Diggory, Hermione Granger, Ron Weasley, Sirius Black, Dobby (Harry Potter), Arthur Weasley, Fred Weasley, George Weasley, Amos Diggory, Seamus Finnigan, Dean Thomas, Angelina Johnson, Molly Weasley, Ginny Weasley, Severus Snape, Albus Dumbledore, Minerva McGonagall, Rubeus Hagrid, Viktor Krum, Fleur Delacour, Alastor Mad-Eye Moody, Draco Malfoy, Bartemius Crouch Sr., Bartemius Crouch Jr., Ludo Bagman Book 4: Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, Alternate Universe Canon Divergence, First Time, First Love, First Crush Part 1 of The Love So Green Collection Published: 2013-02-09 Updated: 2013-02-26 Chapters: 23/30 Words: 78397

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A Lack of Color
by misterkevo Summary

In his fourth year, Harry falls for fellow Hogwarts student and Triwizard champion, Cedric Diggory. Part 1 in The Love So Green Collection - SLASH, Harry/Cedric. M for some slight sexual content.

Notes

The following work is my first every attempt at writing a series. I started it in 2005, when I was barely twenty years old. It was originally going to be a long one-shot but I got carried away so it became what it is today. Also, fair warning, the earlier chapters are all around 1.5k-2k words, but over time they start to grow. Eventually the average length per chapter is at least double that, if not triple. Ive debated going back and consolidating some of these earlier chapters, but it doesnt feel right. Apart from minor edits for grammar and whatnot, this fic is mostly as its stood since the original posting. Hope you enjoy it!

Prologue + In His Eyes

The Love So Green Collection Playlist #1:

a lack of color

PROLOGUE

Harry had never liked gray. His whole life before attending Hogwarts had been a big gray blur, full of abuse and cramped spaces. Gray was the color of Uncle Vernons mustache, the sky over Privet Drive , and the uniform he would have been forced to wear had he gone to Stonewall High as planned. It was a symbol of the life Harry always hated, never wanted. The life he couldnt escape until an owl flew out of the cold gray sky with a letter that changed everything. The moment Harry saw the letter he knew it heralded something fantastic. It wasnt the peculiar way it was addressed that got him, though this certainly was strange. The thing that struck Harry was the brilliant green ink the address was written in, and the purple wax of the Hogwarts seal. Even the yellow tint of the parchment was fascinating to him. This was the most beautiful thing that had ever been meant for him. Which only made him more desperate to discover what was inside after his aunt and uncle had confiscated it. From that moment on Harry learned that practically everything about the wizarding world was colorful. From the many different hues of Bertie Botts Every Flavor Beans to the bright red of the Hogwarts Express. It was probably the reason he had been attracted to the Weasley family on his first journey from Platform Nine and Three-Quarters. The six heads of screaming orange hair were so radically different from the gray and pale blond he was used to. Even the castle itself vibrated with hundreds of different colors. There were stones in every shade, gleaming silver suits of armor, drapes around the Great Hall with each Houses colors. It was a feast for the eyes and Harry might have found it all overwhelming if he hadnt been so pleased. Colors, colors everywhere, and not an end in sight. Then he met Cedric.

a lack of color

CHAPTER ONE In His Eyes

Harry first met Cedric in his third year. Well, not so much met as caught a glimpse of him from a distance. Oliver Wood pointed him out when the Gryffindors were set to play Hufflepuff at Quidditch. Harry immediately saw why the female players on his team giggled whenever Wood mentioned the Hufflepuff Seeker. He was tall, muscular, and extremely good looking. The thing Harry found himself most drawn to was the fifth year boys eyes. They were an intense shade of gray, somehow cool and warm at the same time. It took all of his resolve for Harry to turn away from them. When game day finally arrived, Harry was actually grateful for the torrential rain. Had it been bright and sunny he might have been able to catch another glimpse of those eyes, and then he would definitely not have been able to catch the Snitch. Not that he did anyway. Harry woke up in the hospital wing surrounded by pinched smiles, each one spouting reassurance that they didnt blame him for their loss. Not that he was listening to a single word of it; they wouldnt have lost if hed stayed on his goddamned broom. Every time those dementors came near him the screaming started again and a cold, gray feeling spread through his body that made him curse the color once more. When his closest friends presented him with the shattered pieces of his Nimbus 2000 it was just too much. Harry insisted that he was too tired for visitors and endured an incredibly tight hug from Hermione before everyone shuffled out. It was dark when Harry woke up again, long enough after his friends had left that his pillow was now dry of the tears he'd sobbed into it. The first thing he noticed was that the remains of his broomstick were still on his bedside table. He mentally thanked Madam Pomfrey for being more understanding than she appeared. The second thing he noticed was the figure sitting next to his bed. Whos there? Harry slurred, voice still hoarse from muffled sobs. Uh, Cedric Diggory, the figure said, leaning into a beam of moonlight coming through the hospital wings large windows. His face looked tired and care-worn. I didnt wake you, did I? No, the nightmares woke me, Harry said before he could stop himself. Do you want to talk about it? Er, no, thats okay. Harry stared. What time is it? Shouldnt you be in bed? I wanted to make sure you were okay, Cedric explained. Which Ive done, so I should probably go. He stood, causing the chair to scrape loudly across the floor. I heard what you did, the younger boy said suddenly. Trying to call off the match. I appreciate it. Well, its only fair, isnt it? Cedric asked, turning back to face Harry. It was an accident, what happened. He chewed on his lower lip, like he was having some kind of internal debate. He took

a deep breath before meeting Harrys eyes with his deep gray ones through the darkness. When the dementors come near you, what is it that makes you... What? Freak out? Harry offered, a slight hint of anger in his voice. Basically, the Hufflepuff said unabashedly. You dont have to tell me. No, its all right, Harry told him. No ones ever actually asked me that before. Not even Hermione. Harry thought about that for a second before asking, Do you really wanna know? Cedric sat back down and folded his hands in his lap patiently. Taking a deep breath, and keeping his eyes locked on Cedrics, Harry began to describe the thing hed never told anyone before. I hear my parents, he said slowly. The night Voldemort murdered them. I can hear my father trying to protect me and my mum, and my mother pleading for him to spare me. The older boy held his gaze for another moment before leaning back in his chair so his face was once again in shadow. Harry wished he hadnt. Cedrics eyes had given him the strength to tell his story. Now that they were gone, he felt cold again. Wow, Cedric finally mustered in response. Its amazing you held on as long as you did. Thanks. Harry played with his bed sheets for a few minutes before mustering up the courage to ask Cedric, Why did you want to know what the dementors make me think of? In fact, what made you come up here in the first place? Cedric was silent for a moment before muttering awkwardly, I should probably head back to bed. His hand wrapped around Harrys and squeezed. Im glad youre all right. Thanks for coming, Harry said, at a complete loss for words. My pleasure, Cedric told him. Get some rest. It was so dark and he moved so quietly that Harry wasnt sure how long it took Cedric to exit the hospital wing. He didnt wait before smiling at the memory of Cedrics eyes and his hand around Harrys. Maybe gray wasnt so bad after all.

Enchantment Passing Through

a lack of color

CHAPTER TWO Enchantment Passing Through

For the rest of his stay in the hospital wing, Harry could think of little else except Cedric Diggory. Much to his dismay, the Seeker of the winning team did not pay him a second visit. Instead Harry had to endure several less enjoyable visits, including an embarrassing one from Ginny Weasley and a guilt-inducing one from Oliver Wood. Even Ron and Hermione started to get on his nerves after a while, as they were still arguing about their adversarial pets. Once he was discharged and returned to his regular schedule, Harry realized how little he had ever seen Cedric on a day to day basis. After the Hufflepuffs crushing defeat in their match against Ravenclaw, Harry tried seeking (no pun intended) the older boy out to offer his condolences. Every time he came near him, however, Cedric seemed to mysteriously disappear. Woods exhausting training sessions slowly began to push the memory of Cedrics concerned gray eyes from Harrys mind. Learning that Sirius Black, the escaped Azkaban prisoner who was hunting him down, had been a close friend of his parents gave it another, even larger, shove. By the time Christmas break had ended, and Hermione had gotten Harrys new Firebolt confiscated, Cedric Diggory was the farthest thing from his mind. Still, every now and then Harry could swear he saw the Hufflepuff boy watching him across the Great Hall. Whenever this would happen, Harry considered approaching him again. But then Cedric would look away, and Harry would go back to his meal, and the moment would pass.

The events that transpired over the final few months of his third year left Harry more than ready for summer vacation. Sitting in the Weasleys backyard, at the table overflowing with delicious food, surrounded by people who loved him, eagerly anticipating the Quidditch World Cup, Harry felt happier than hed been in a long while. Not as happy as he was when Sirius promised to take his godson away from the Dursleys forever, but close. And just knowing Sirius was out there, that they might someday be reunited, was enough. Of course, Harry remembered none of these cheerful feelings when Mrs. Weasley woke them far too early the next morning. All he could feel was coldness and anger at no one in particular, that kind of anger that comes with being forced out of bed when all you want to do it sleep. Harrys anger evaporated as he trudged the long trek to Stoatshead Hill with the others. As they walked, Mr. Weasley went through a long-winded explanation about how several thousand

wizards could congregate in one place without Muggles noticing. No one was listening except Harry. Not even Hermione, who was extremely out of breath from all their walking. At the top of the hill the Weasleys, Harry, and Hermione all spread out and searched for the Portkey they would be taking to the World Cup. After a few minutes Harry heard a new voice, a gruff, male one, shouting from the other side. Over here, Arthur! Over here, son, weve got it! As Harry rounded the hill to join the others he saw the man the voice belonged to, a red-faced man with a scratchy brown beard. Standing beside this man was a teenage boy around the twins age. He was pretty good looking, actually. He was Cedric Diggory. Mr. Weasley went around making introductions but Harry didnt take in a word of it. He was too busy being flooded with memories of the last time he was this close to the Hufflepuff boy. Cedric smiled and said hello, looking around at all of them. His eyes appeared to linger on Harry but then Harry was so used to this he might have imagined it. So used to it, in fact, that he did not welcome the reminder when Amos Diggory started gaping at him. Ceds talked about you, of course, Mr. Diggory informed him. Told us all about playing against you last year.I said to him, I said Ced, thatll be something to tell your grandchildren, that will.You beat Harry Potter! A dead silence fell over the small group. The only one of them who didnt seem to realize Mr. Diggory had said something embarrassing was Mr. Diggory himself. Cedric, on the other hand, looked absolutely mortified. Harry fell off his broom, Dad, he muttered fruitlessly. I told you.it was an accident. But his father wasnt listening. Instead he launched into a boast that somehow claimed Harry would agree Cedric was the better flier. Before Mr. Diggory could get his foot so far stuck in his mouth that there would be no hope of getting it out, Mr. Weasley hastily changed the subject. Harry, who had been looking down at his feet ever since Mr. Diggory mentioned his spectacular blundering of the match against Hufflepuff, glanced up to find Cedric staring at him and biting his lip. Before Harry could analyze this too much, Mr. Weasley announced that it was time. They each took a position around the Portkey and pressed a finger to it. Someones finger pressed against Harrys and a tiny thrill shot through him when he saw it was Cedrics. The feeling grew in intensity so rapidly that it knocked Harry off his feet. It wasnt until he landed that he realized it had actually been the Portkey taking effect. Suddenly there was a hand in Harrys face. It was Cedrics. Help you up? he asked Harry, who was still too stunned from their journey to take the hint. Harry grabbed Cedrics hand and allowed himself to be pulled back up. Thanks, Harry said. They were surrounded by people in ludicrous Muggle attire, which only added to the surrealness of what Harry was feeling. While Harry tried not to look at Cedric again, or at least not be too obvious about it, Mr. Weasley engaged in conversation with a man wearing a kilt and a poncho.

Soon after, they set off walking again, Mr. Weasley and Mr. Diggory at the front, followed by Fred, George, and Ron, then Ginny and Hermione, with Harry and Cedric bringing up the rear. So, Cedric said. Are you excited for the match? Definitely, Harry replied. Its the first Quidditch match Ive ever been to where I didnt attend classes with any of the players. They shared a laugh at that. Sorry about the twins, Harry said, catching them glaring not-so-subtle daggers back at Cedric. Theyre still pretty bitter about our match last year. Oh, no worries, Cedric assured him. If anyone should be sorry its me for how much of an ass my father was to you. Shouldnt he be the one apologizing then? Harry asked. Yes, Cedric answered flatly. He wont though. Thats Amos Diggory for you, doesnt care about anyones feelings but his own when hes boasting about the Celebrated Ced. Not so much a fan of the boasting? the younger boy mused. No, not especially. Cedric sighed. I shouldnt unload on you, though. Why not? You let me do the same last year, Harry pointed out. When I told you about the dementors. An awkward pause forced its way into the conversation. You remember that, eh? Kind of hard to forget, Harry said. Unload away. Well, its nowhere near what you confided in me, Cedric granted. Hes just so demanding, always needing me to be perfect at everything. Quidditch captain, prefect, top OWL marks. Nothings ever good enough for him, its so over-whelming, Harry finished for him. To have someone expect so much of you. Something we have in common, I guess, the older Seeker said with a smile. Ced! Mr. Diggory called from the front of the group. Come on, son, were a ways ahead still. Oh, Harry said, realizing the others had stopped beside a small stone cottage at the edge of a field of tents. I guess were here then. Cedric smiled. It was good talking to you again, Harry. He extended his hand and this time Harry was ready to take it. You too, Harry told him. Feeling bold, he added, Maybe this time you wont avoid me after. Maybe, the Hufflepuff said, with a wink of those sparkling eyes. For the next few hours leading up to the match, Harry was surrounded by the green of the Irish and the red of the Bulgarians, but in his mind all he could see was gray.

What Is This Feeling?

a lack of color

CHAPTER THREE What Is This Feeling?

The World Cup match was every bit exciting as Harry hoped it would be, though much shorter than he expected. It was even exciting enough to replace any thoughts of Cedric and their early morning walk. The effect was only temporary, however. Once there was no longer a live Quidditch match and thousands of screaming fans to distract him, images of the older boy came creeping to the front of his mind once more. While the others held lively debates over their hot chocolate, Harry began to wonder what Cedric thought of the game. Harry was just slipping into dreams about holding the Quidditch World Cup aloft while an inviting face with gray eyes beamed at him from the crowd when Mr. Weasley woke them shouting. Everything was happening so fast and the scene outside was so horrific that for half a moment Harry thought he was still sleeping, and his dream had turned into a nightmare. After several frightening encounters and two accusations of invoking Lord Voldemorts Mark, Harry and the others returned to their tents. While everyone else quickly fell back asleep, Harry found his mind was too buzzing with questions, and was still awake when Mr. Weasley told them it was time to go a few hours later. They took another Portkey back to Stoatshead Hill in the form of a rubber tire. Much to Harrys confusion and disappointment, the Diggorys did not accompany them this time. Their small group trudged back through Ottery St. Catchpole in silence, all too tired to form coherent words. Harry kept his head down as they walked, focusing on the plodding sound of his own footsteps to block out the annoying thoughts that had plagued him since the night before. Learning upon their arrival that Sirius still hadnt responded to his letter agitated Harry even further. He hoped telling Ron and Hermione about his scar hurting the previous Saturday would alleviate some of the pressure in his head, but they only succeeded in raising more questions. Harry didnt want to think about questions. He didnt want to think about anything. Despite his exhaustion, he jumped at the chance to play Quidditch with Ron and his brothers. Quidditch was the one thing that made the rest of the world melt away for Harry, which was exactly what he needed at the moment. They played for over an hour, until Hermione caught Ron falling asleep on his broom and insisted they all get some rest before continuing. As Harry lay on his bed waiting for sleep to come, he replayed the events of the previous night in his head. Plunging through the darkened wood next to their campsite reminded Harry of Alice and her journey through Wonderland. When he was younger he saw part of the animated version on television, until Uncle Vernon noticed he was in the room and sent him to bed. What he did get to

see fascinated him; a talking rabbit, people growing huge and then shrinking to half their sizes, disappearing cats. It didnt seem like much after all of his years at Hogwarts, but the memory stuck with him. Like Alice , they had encountered many strange and unexpected characters as they rushed through the forest. Many, but not the one Harry had been hoping for. Even while Mr. Diggory was accusing him of summoning the Dark Mark, all Harry could think of was what may have become of the mans son. The questions that had pounded through Harrys mind earlier came back in full force. Not the ones about who could have summoned the Dark Mark, or why Sirius hadnt responded to his letter yet. The questions that came now were the ones asking why he cared so damn much about the fate of Cedric Diggory. He had seen a lot of people he knew at the World Cup, including several fellow Gryffindors. Of course he hoped they all got out okay, how could he not? Yet none of them were the one hed been hoping to come across as they stumbled through the woods. None of them were the one with the handsome features and the friendly smile and those soulful gray eyes. What is wrong with me? Harry cried silently. Like you dont already know, a voice answered harshly. Harry closed his eyes tightly against the glowing orange of Rons room until all he could see was black. He clamped down on his thoughts so tightly it hurt but he didnt stop fighting. His mind fought back with a vengeance, throwing his own memories back in his face. The first time he saw Cedric, noticed how his eyes sparkled when he smiled. The way it made Harrys heart skipped a beat. No. Watching Cedric ever since their encounter in the hospital wing, across the Great Hall, in the corridors. The joy Harry felt when he saw the older boy yesterday morning. No! The thrill that went through him every time they touched. Cedrics hand gripping his as he helped Harry to his feet, touching his as they held on to the Portkey, squeezing Harrys tenderly during their nighttime visit. The smile it elicited from the young Gryffindor. I AM NOT GAY! The thought exploded in his head, so loudly he was surprised he hadn't shouted it out loud. Every day of his life spent on Privet Drive, in one form or another, Harry had been accused of being a homosexual. Either it was Dudley and his cohorts shouting Harry the fairy! or Uncle Vernon grumbling about that lousy queer. It was one of the many things Vernon was always threatening to beat out of his nephew. In his eyes, the only thing worse than being gay was being a wizard. And he was wrong about that, wasnt he? Harry reminded himself. For all the Dursleys ranting and wailing about how horrible magic was, it had brought Harry happiness for the first time in his life. If they could be wrong about that, maybe they were wrong about this, too. Maybe Harry was gay.

Instead of relieving the pressure in Harrys mind, this revelation merely increased it. What would his friends say? What would Sirius say? And what about Cedric? Was it possible he felt the same way about Harry as Harry felt about him? And what if he did? Was dating even allowed between male students at Hogwarts? Harry definitely felt like Alice. And he had just fallen through the rabbit-hole.

Going Through the Motions

a lack of color

CHAPTER FOUR Going Through the Motions

Harry! Harry blinked. Yes? he said. Youve been just sitting there for about two minutes, Ron informed him. Weve got to get a move on, or Mums going to have a fit. Oh, said Harry. Right. Harry had spent much of the last few days like this: in his own head. Ever since he realized he might be that thing where he liked other boys, he had been doing a lot of reflecting. The first question Harry asked himself was whether he fancied any boys other than Cedric. Because if he didnt then maybe the whole thing was just a fluke. He realized he didnt find all boys attractive; like Ron, for example. Mrs. Weasleys suggestion to take a picture of Ron going naked in protest of his dress robes made Harry laugh, but it certainly wasnt appealing. Still, there was no denying that part of the joy he felt at winning the Quidditch Cup last year was attributed to the prolonged hug Oliver Wood gave him. The second question Harry asked himself was whether or not he was attracted to girls as well. He supposed that he was. The butterflies he experienced when he first laid eyes on Cho Chang had been real. But the light flutter of butterflies he felt with her was nothing compared to the intense flapping like a Snitch that accompanied even thinking the name Cedric. This was something Harry had fought very hard not to do over the past several days. Every time he did, the feeling made him grin a rather goofy grin that inspired Hermione to ask what he was smiling about. As he had decided not to tell her or Ron about his budding sexual orientation, for the time being at least, Harry would tell her he was just looking forward to the new Quidditch season and change the subject. Which wasnt a total lie; he was definitely looking forward to playing Cedric again this year. Seeing Amos Diggorys head in the Weasleys fire that morning certainly hadnt helped with the not thinking about Cedric. Suddenly Harry found himself wondering if hed see the older boy on the Hogwarts Express. It was possible. Even if they didnt happen to pass each other while getting on the train, Cedric did have to patrol the corridors as part of his prefect duties. What would he say if their paths did happen to cross? Nothing, you fool, a patronizing voice told him. He probably doesnt even know you exist.

And this was why Harry had tried to prevent himself from thinking about Cedric. After the initial smiley feeling wore off, Harry would harshly remind himself that not only was Cedric probably straight, but that even if he werent he could have anyone in the whole school. Even Filch would probably kick Mrs. Norris out of bed for him. Why would he ever want Harry? Sure, there was the whole fame thing, but scratch the surface and he was pretty ordinary; mediocre grades, few friends, pretty good at Quidditch. Not much else, really. Cedric was the truly exceptional one. He was a prefect, Quidditch captain, excellent student, and extremely popular. He was nice to Harry, yeah. But would he ever want Harry to be his boyfriend?

September 1st passed quickly, though not without revealing one of the many mysteries that had been surrounding Harrys life for the past few weeks. Finally, Percys thinly-veiled comments, Ludo Bagmans excitement, Malfoys snide remarks on the Hogwarts Express, they all made sense. The Triwizard Tournament. Along with the appointment of Mad-Eye Moody, it was most talked about subject the first few days of term. Maybe it was because the arrival of the students from Beauxbatons and Durmstrang was so far off, or because other matters like Hagrids Blast-Ended Skrewts had a more immediate effect on them, but most students quickly forgot about the impending competition. Finally, late in October, Harry, Ron, and Hermione came into the entrance hall after Care of Magical Creatures to find a sign posted at the bottom of the marble staircase about the tournament and the other schools arrival. The most exciting part of the notice for Harry was the indication that they would miss a large part of their Potions lesson. Only a week away! someone cried. Harry looked around and saw Ernie Macmillan of Hufflepuff reading the sign eagerly. His eyes were gleaming with excitement. I wonder if Cedric knows! Think Ill go and tell him. Cedric? Ron wondered. Diggory, Harry responded immediately, watching Ernie sprint down the corridor. He must be entering the tournament. That idiot, Hogwarts champion? Ron laughed. Hes not an idiot, Hermione scolded him, glancing at Harry. You just dont like him because he beat Gryffindor at Quidditch, even though he tried to forfeit the match. Ive heard hes a really good student and hes a prefect. You just like him because hes handsome, Ron spat. Thats not true, Hermione said quickly. And excuse me, I dont like people just because theyre handsome. Of course not, Harry interjected before Ron could throw out a come-back. Shes friends with

you, isnt she? Rons ears turned pink, and he seethed the rest of the way to the Great Hall. Harry knew he should have stayed out of their argument, but he couldnt help it. And after the way Ron put Cedric down, he didnt feel the least bit sorry. Every moment of the school year so far not spent worrying about Sirius, feigning interest in S.P.E.W., or nursing a concussion from fighting off the Imperius Curse was consumed by an unconscious desire to watch Cedric Diggory. Whether it was across the Great Hall at mealtimes or in the corridors between classes, Harrys eyes had become as adept at finding the Hufflepuff prefect as though he was an overlarge Snitch. He had felt an immense stab of jealousy that he couldnt account for when Ernie said he was going to tell Cedric about the new sign in the entrance hall. If there was ever a point when Harry could deny his feelings for Cedric, at least to himself, he was definitely beyond it now.

The first real slip Harry made concerning his feelings came the night before Halloween. It was after the foreign visitors had already arrived with a flourish, all flying horses and ghostly ships. Nearly half an hour into the Welcoming Feast, Ron was insisting that one of the girls from Beauxbatons Academy was a veela. Im telling you, thats not a normal girl! Ron said, shifting around obviously in his seat to get a better look at her. They dont make them like that at Hogwarts! They make them okay at Hogwarts, Harry replied quietly, eyes fixed on the adjacent Hufflepuff table. Suddenly Hermione started to cough loudly, like she was choking. Harry and Ron both turned their stares away from their different distractions to look at her. She was looking pointedly at Harry. The dark-haired boy froze. Had she seen where he was looking? Did she know? Would she say something, here, in the middle of the Great Hall? Ron made to pat her on the back, to keep her from choking, but she waved his hand away. Im fine, Hermione assured him. I just noticed the new arrivals. She pointed up at the staff table, where Ludo Bagman and Mr. Crouch had just turned up. Harry breathed easily again. For the rest of the meal Harry couldnt shake the feeling that she was watching him. Just in case, he restrained himself from checking out Cedric anymore. Well, for that night, anyway.

Like the rest of the school, Harry, Ron, and Hermione woke much earlier the next day than they normally would on the weekend. When they reached the entrance hall on the way to breakfast they found many students had the same idea they did. More than two dozen people were gathered around the Goblet of Fire watching others put their names in. It truly was lovely, the Goblet of Fire. The goblet itself was entirely unremarkable, which only seemed to add to its mystique. And the flames dancing inside it, casting their eerie blue glow over the entrance hall, were magnificent. Everything that light touched took on a surreal yet beautiful quality. Even the Weasley twins with their matching white beards. I told them the Aging Potion wouldnt work, Hermione said to Harry and Ron as they entered the festively decorated Great Hall. They made their way over to where Dean and Seamus were sitting, discussing possible entrants in the Tournament. We cant have a Slytherin champion! Harry said with disdain when Dean told them Warrington of Slytherin may have entered. And all the Hufflepuffs are talking about Diggory, Seamus said contemptuously. But I wouldnt have thought hed have wanted to risk his good looks. Whats that supposed to mean, eh? Harry asked sharply. Whatd Cedric ever do to you? Seamus was on the verge of answering when Hermione said suddenly, Listen! The sound of cheers floated in from the entrance hall. Moments later, Angelina Johnson entered the Great Hall, smiling sheepishly. She came over, sat down, and told them she just entered her name in the running. I really hope you get it, Angelina! Hermione told her. The boys all smiled nodded enthusiastically. Thanks, Hermione, Angelina said, still grinning. Yeah, better you than Pretty-Boy Diggory, Seamus said. What is your problem? Harry shouted. Just lay off him already! Harry got up from his seat and stormed out of the Great Hall. He sat on the floor of the entrance hall, back to the wall in the entrance, and stared into the goblets flames. It was stupid for him to explode on Seamus like that, and he knew it. Could he have made it more obvious that he liked Cedric? Harry couldnt help it, though. Seamus was always saying things behind peoples backs like that. The least deserving person of that kind of treatment was definitely Cedric. Was he right, though? Was Cedric entering in the Tournament? Ernie Macmillan seemed to think so; his first thought on seeing news about the Tournament was to let Cedric know. So what if he did enter? Cedric was of age, and certainly capable. Just because champions died in the past. A while later, Ron and Hermione exited the Great Hall and walked up to him. Hermione sat down on his left while Ron leaned against the wall to his right. To their credit, neither mentioned his minor blow out. You missed breakfast, Hermione informed him. I wasnt hungry, Harry insisted.

After a minute, Ron asked, So, whatre we going to do today? We should visit Hagrid, Harry answered. We havent gone down to see him once since weve been back. Okay, Hermione said. Then her eyes widened with excitement. Ive just realized I havent asked Hagrid to join S.P.E.W. yet! She jumped up and brushed off her robes. Wait right here and Ill go get the badges. What is it with her? Ron said as he helped Harry up off the floor. Ive asked myself that for three years now, Harry told him. But Ron wasnt listening anymore. He had just taken notice of the Beauxbatons students who had come into the entrance hall, the possible veela-girl among them. Rons face was slack and his eyes were round and glassy. Merlin, I hope my face doesnt get like that when Im looking at Cedric, Harry thought to himself.

All anyone could think of during the feast that evening was its promised conclusion. Every snippet of conversation Harry heard was either a speculation as to who would be chosen, or theories about what the three tasks would be. By the time Dumbledore finally stood at the end of the meal, the air was practically humming with excitement. He informed everyone that the goblet would soon be making its decision, and gave instructions on what to do should your name be chosen. Every head in the Great Hall was turned toward the Goblet of Fire. After a long and suspenseful quiet, the flames inside the goblet turned red, like they had when students were putting their names in. Sparks flew wildly from the goblet. A tongue of flame shot out, ejecting a slightly charred slip of parchment. Dumbledore caught the paper easily and read it by the light of the goblets flames, now returned to their usual blue color. The champion for Durmstrang, he read so the entire Hall could hear, will be Viktor Krum. Everyone in the Hall cheered, though none so loudly as Karkaroff. Krum got up from the Slytherin table and headed toward the chamber Dumbledore indicated beyond the staff table. His expression was just as void of emotion as ever. The flames turned red again seconds after the cheering died down. The school this time was Beauxbatons. The champion was Fleur Delacour who, as it turned out, was the same girl Ron had been gawking at for the past twenty-four hours. As soon as the girl had entered the side chamber, a hush fell over the Great Hall. Everyone knew what was next: the Hogwarts champion. For the third time that evening, the flames in the Goblet of Fire turned red and discharged sparks. Another piece of parchment fluttered out into Dumbledores waiting hand. All around the Great Hall friends were clutching one anothers hand and holding their breath. The Hogwarts champion, Dumbledore announced, is Cedric Diggory! Later Harry would wonder if it had been the enchantments placed on it that kept the roof attached to the Great Hall, because in any other establishment the tumultuous applause coming from the

Hufflepuff table at that moment would have blown it clear off. Every member of the Hufflepuff house was going berserk. Cedric himself was grinning broadly as he made his way toward the front of the Hall in the aisle between the Hufflepuff and Gryffindor tables. It was taking longer than it usually would as every other person he passed was either grabbing him for a hug or a handshake in congratulations. Only a few Gryffindors were among them, including Harry, who saw this as a wonderful opportunity to touch Cedric without raising any eyebrows. When Cedric was near him and had a free appendage, Harry grabbed the boys hand. Cedric turned around to see whose hand he was shaking. The newly designated champion beamed and pulled Harry into a quick but fierce hug before moving on. The act left Harry with his mind in a fog and a smile on his face. Once the cheering finally ended, which took several minutes, Dumbledore began to speak again. Harry wasnt taking in a word of it. He was too busy trying to memorize what it felt like to have Cedrics arm around him. If he had been paying attention, he would have noticed the Goblet of Fire suddenly turn red again. He also would have seen another flame shoot out and discharge a fourth slip of parchment. It wasnt until Harry heard his name being called that he even looked up at all. Every head in the Great Hall was turned toward him. Whats going on? he asked Hermione, who stared at him pale-faced. Your name just came out of the Goblet of Fire, she whispered. Harry could actually feel all of the color drain from his face, and said the first thought that came to his mind. Oh, shi

Pandemonium

a lack of color

CHAPTER FIVE Pandemonium

it. Harry, you have to go up there, Hermione whispered urgently. Um, no, thanks! Harry whispered back. You cant just sit here, she said, he called your name! But I didnt put it in, Harry argued. You have to know that. Neither Hermione nor Ron answered him. Harry Potter! Dumbledore called. Harry! Up here, if you please! The whispers around the Great Hall increased in volume until they could hardly be called whispers any longer. All eyes were on Harry, and each face wore an expression of skepticism or astonishment. Contempt was the most popular expression at the Hufflepuff table. Youre only making it worse by sitting here, Hermione scolded. Just go! Hermione gave Harry a small push, which propelled him to his feet. He stumbled slightly, tripping over himself, then recovered and made his way up the same aisle Cedric walked not ten minutes earlier. Harrys reception was very different from Cedrics. There were no hugs or handshakes for him; only angry glares and one sour-faced Hufflepuff boy who stuck a leg out to trip Harry. Hes a cheat! someone shouted over the rising chatter. He isnt even seventeen yet! another person jeered. Finally Harry came to where Dumbledore was standing. Something about the way that the headmaster was looking at him made Harrys insides boil with embarrassment. Well through the door, Harry, Dumbledore said simply. A thought suddenly occurred to Harry: Cedric was on the other side of that door. What would he say? Would he be angry with Harry when he found out the younger boy had also been selected as champion? Fear rooted Harry to the spot. Harry, Dumbledore said again. The door. Harry stared at the headmaster imploringly. Didnt he understand what going through that door

could mean? Didnt he understand that all Harry wanted was to sit back down with his friends and pretend none of this ever happened? Dumbledore stared at him. As much as Harry was afraid of Cedrics reaction to all of this, not to mention the rest of the school, he was even more afraid to incur the anger of the only wizard Lord Voldemort ever feared. Harry went through the side door, and into the other chamber. The Triwizard champions were standing around the antechambers fireplace. Cedric was facing the fire with his hands behind his back. He chewed his lip and stared into the flames, deep in thought. Harrys heart gave jolt. The first one to notice the new presence in the chamber was Fleur Delacour. She tossed her flowing silvery hair and put her hands on her hips. What ees it? she asked. Do zey want us back in ze Hall? The two boys looked around to find out who Fleur was talking to. Cedrics face lit up when he saw Harry and he smiled warmly. Harry tried to smile back but couldnt quite make the muscles in his face work. He tried to tell them what happened back in the Great Hall but his vocal chords had seized up. All that came out was a short squeak. Cedrics face scrunched in confusion. Harry, whats wrong? he asked. Before Harry could try again to speak the door he had come through burst open and Ludo Bagman entered. He grabbed Harrys arm and pulled him closer to the other champions. Extraordinary! Bagman cried, his grip on Harrys arm tightening painfully. Absolutely extraordinary! Gentlemen lady. May I introduce incredible though it may seem the fourth Triwizard champion? Each of the champions reacted differently. Cedrics eyebrows shot up in surprise. Viktor Krum glared Harry shrewdly, his features clouding over with mistrust. Fleur Delacour thought the whole thing was a joke. Oh, vairy funny joke, Meester Bagman, she smiled. Joke? Bagman repeated, taken aback. No, no, not at all! Harrys name just came out of the Goblet of Fire! All three champions frowned. But evidently zair as been a mistake, Fleur said, glaring daggers at Harry. E cannot compete. E is too young. Well it is amazing, Bagman said, rubbing his chin thoughtfully. But, as you know, the age restriction was only imposed this year as an extra safety measure. And as his names come out of the goblet I mean, I dont think there can be any ducking out at this stage.... You cant be serious! Cedric cried. Are you really considering letting him compete? Thats Exactly what Cedric had to say about the situation was abruptly cut off when the door slammed open. In swept Professor Dumbledore, Mr. Crouch, Professor Karkaroff, Madame Maxime, Professor McGonagall, and Professor Snape. Harry caught a brief glimpse of the Great Hall outside before McGonagall closed the door again. Hundreds of students were talking and laughing as they filed out of the Hall and went up to bed. Harry would be with them right now, discussing the Goblets choice of champions, had he not been one of them.

Instead Im here, Harry thought sullenly. Surrounded by nearly a dozen angry witches and wizards, all of whom are staring at me. That is, all except Cedric. This was true; Cedric, who looked just as outraged as anyone else in the room, was still glowering at Bagman. Wondering what the older boy could possibly be thinking at that moment made Harry feel worse than anything anyone else could say about him. Madame Maxime! said Fleur to her headmistress. Zey are saying zat zis little boy is to compete also! Little boy? Harry thought. Okay, that might give whatever Cedrics thinking a run for its gold. Harry remained silent while the adults argued over what to do about this unexpected development, speaking only when Dumbledore addressed him directly. Even when the conversation took a bizarre turn with Moodys suggestion that Harry was entered to try and kill him, Harry said nothing. When Dumbledore finally dismissed them all for the evening he was greatly relieved. Harry glanced surreptitiously at Cedric before they left the chamber. He looked furious. The Great Hall was empty, and almost completely dark except for the candlelight coming from the carved pumpkins. The other champions and their headmasters had already departed. Cedric was stomping quickly toward the exit, his features twisted darkly in the Halls dim light. Cedric, wait! Harry called out desperately. Im sorry! Cedric stopped so suddenly that Harry almost ran right into him. The Hufflepuff turned and looked at the Gryffindor with a befuddled expression on his face. Why are you sorry? he asked. Well, Harry said, not sure how to respond. He started saying whatever came to mind, very jumbled and very fast. My name came out of the Goblet of Fire. And now Im going to have to compete against you, which Im really, really sorry about, because you should be the only Hogwarts champion. I mean, your name came out of the goblet first right? And I dont even want to compete, I would take myself out of the running if I could, but I totally understand that youre mad at me. Id probably be mad at me too. I am mad at me. Why are you smiling? Because youre babbling like a crazy person, and smiling is what you do to keep crazy people calm, Cedric grinned. Arent you angry? the younger boy asked uncertainly. Yes, Im angry, but not with you, Cedric assured him, gripping Harry by the shoulders. Harrys breath hitched. Im angry with them. Karkaroff and Maxime for accusing you of lying about putting your name in So you believe me? Harry asked. Of course I believe you, Cedric replied in a way that caused a tingly warm feeling to spread through Harrys chest. And Im angry with Bagman and Crouch for forcing you to do this. Its ridiculous. Youre too young. What, you think I cant do it? Harry said, voice bristling with anger. Thats not what I meant, Cedric said, concern flickering over his face like the soft candlelight in which they stood. Im just worried about you.

The two newly appointed champions stood together in the dimly lit Hall, Cedrics hands on Harrys shoulders and his eyes on Harrys face. The longer they stood there the more selfconscious Harry felt. Judging by the knot in his stomach Harry supposed they had been standing there for hours before he finally spoke. Ive never been in the Great Hall this late, he stammered, glancing around at the glowing pumpkins. Its dark. Its dark? he mentally chastised himself. Moron. Yeah, Cedric agreed, not seeming to notice the awkwardness of the situation. His eyes shifted quickly to Harrys lips then back to his eyes again. Harry gulped. Are you going to? He couldnt even get the words out. Cedric smiled. He bent forward and Harry could have sworn he felt his heart stop beating. Bypassing the younger boys lips, Cedric instead leaned close to Harrys ear and whispered, Dont tempt me. With that, Cedric straightened back up. Still smiling, he winked like he had at the Quidditch World Cup, and strode silently out of the Great Hall. it. Harry, you have to go up there, Hermione whispered urgently. Um, no, thanks! Harry whispered back. You cant just sit here, she said, he called your name! But I didnt put it in, Harry argued. You have to know that. Neither Hermione nor Ron answered him. Harry Potter! Dumbledore called. Harry! Up here, if you please! The whispers around the Great Hall increased in volume until they could hardly be called whispers any longer. All eyes were on Harry, and each face wore an expression of skepticism or astonishment. Contempt was the most popular expression at the Hufflepuff table. Youre only making it worse by sitting here, Hermione scolded. Just go! Hermione gave Harry a small push, which propelled him to his feet. He stumbled slightly, tripping over himself, then recovered and made his way up the same aisle Cedric walked not ten minutes earlier. Harrys reception was very different from Cedrics. There were no hugs or handshakes for him; only angry glares and one sour-faced Hufflepuff boy who stuck a leg out to trip Harry. Hes a cheat! someone shouted over the rising chatter. He isnt even seventeen yet! another person jeered. Finally Harry came to where Dumbledore was standing. Something about the way that the headmaster was looking at him made Harrys insides boil with embarrassment. Well through the door, Harry, Dumbledore said simply.

A thought suddenly occurred to Harry: Cedric was on the other side of that door. What would he say? Would he be angry with Harry when he found out the younger boy had also been selected as champion? Fear rooted Harry to the spot. Harry, Dumbledore said again. The door. Harry stared at the headmaster imploringly. Didnt he understand what going through that door could mean? Didnt he understand that all Harry wanted was to sit back down with his friends and pretend none of this ever happened? Dumbledore stared at him. As much as Harry was afraid of Cedrics reaction to all of this, not to mention the rest of the school, he was even more afraid to incur the anger of the only wizard Lord Voldemort ever feared. Harry went through the side door, and into the other chamber. The Triwizard champions were standing around the antechambers fireplace. Cedric was facing the fire with his hands behind his back. He chewed his lip and stared into the flames, deep in thought. Harrys heart gave jolt. The first one to notice the new presence in the chamber was Fleur Delacour. She tossed her flowing silvery hair and put her hands on her hips. What ees it? she asked. Do zey want us back in ze Hall? The two boys looked around to find out who Fleur was talking to. Cedrics face lit up when he saw Harry and he smiled warmly. Harry tried to smile back but couldnt quite make the muscles in his face work. He tried to tell them what happened back in the Great Hall but his vocal chords had seized up. All that came out was a short squeak. Cedrics face scrunched in confusion. Harry, whats wrong? he asked. Before Harry could try again to speak the door he had come through burst open and Ludo Bagman entered. He grabbed Harrys arm and pulled him closer to the other champions. Extraordinary! Bagman cried, his grip on Harrys arm tightening painfully. Absolutely extraordinary! Gentlemen lady. May I introduce incredible though it may seem the fourth Triwizard champion? Each of the champions reacted differently. Cedrics eyebrows shot up in surprise. Viktor Krum glared Harry shrewdly, his features clouding over with mistrust. Fleur Delacour thought the whole thing was a joke. Oh, vairy funny joke, Meester Bagman, she smiled. Joke? Bagman repeated, taken aback. No, no, not at all! Harrys name just came out of the Goblet of Fire! All three champions frowned. But evidently zair as been a mistake, Fleur said, glaring daggers at Harry. E cannot compete. E is too young. Well it is amazing, Bagman said, rubbing his chin thoughtfully. But, as you know, the age restriction was only imposed this year as an extra safety measure. And as his names come out of the goblet I mean, I dont think there can be any ducking out at this stage.... You cant be serious! Cedric cried. Are you really considering letting him compete? Thats

Exactly what Cedric had to say about the situation was abruptly cut off when the door slammed open. In swept Professor Dumbledore, Mr. Crouch, Professor Karkaroff, Madame Maxime, Professor McGonagall, and Professor Snape. Harry caught a brief glimpse of the Great Hall outside before McGonagall closed the door again. Hundreds of students were talking and laughing as they filed out of the Hall and went up to bed. Harry would be with them right now, discussing the Goblets choice of champions, had he not been one of them. Instead Im here, Harry thought sullenly. Surrounded by nearly a dozen angry witches and wizards, all of whom are staring at me. That is, all except Cedric. This was true; Cedric, who looked just as outraged as anyone else in the room, was still glowering at Bagman. Wondering what the older boy could possibly be thinking at that moment made Harry feel worse than anything anyone else could say about him. Madame Maxime! said Fleur to her headmistress. Zey are saying zat zis little boy is to compete also! Little boy? Harry thought. Okay, that might give whatever Cedrics thinking a run for its gold. Harry remained silent while the adults argued over what to do about this unexpected development, speaking only when Dumbledore addressed him directly. Even when the conversation took a bizarre turn with Moodys suggestion that Harry was entered to try and kill him, Harry said nothing. When Dumbledore finally dismissed them all for the evening he was greatly relieved. Harry glanced surreptitiously at Cedric before they left the chamber. He looked furious. The Great Hall was empty, and almost completely dark except for the candlelight coming from the carved pumpkins. The other champions and their headmasters had already departed. Cedric was stomping quickly toward the exit, his features twisted darkly in the Halls dim light. Cedric, wait! Harry called out desperately. Im sorry! Cedric stopped so suddenly that Harry almost ran right into him. The Hufflepuff turned and looked at the Gryffindor with a befuddled expression on his face. Why are you sorry? he asked. Well, Harry said, not sure how to respond. He started saying whatever came to mind, very jumbled and very fast. My name came out of the Goblet of Fire. And now Im going to have to compete against you, which Im really, really sorry about, because you should be the only Hogwarts champion. I mean, your name came out of the goblet first right? And I dont even want to compete, I would take myself out of the running if I could, but I totally understand that youre mad at me. Id probably be mad at me too. I am mad at me. Why are you smiling? Because youre babbling like a crazy person, and smiling is what you do to keep crazy people calm, Cedric grinned. Arent you angry? the younger boy asked uncertainly. Yes, Im angry, but not with you, Cedric assured him, gripping Harry by the shoulders. Harrys breath hitched. Im angry with them. Karkaroff and Maxime for accusing you of lying about putting your name in So you believe me? Harry asked. Of course I believe you, Cedric replied in a way that caused a tingly warm feeling to spread

through Harrys chest. And Im angry with Bagman and Crouch for forcing you to do this. Its ridiculous. Youre too young. What, you think I cant do it? Harry said, voice bristling with anger. Thats not what I meant, Cedric said, concern flickering over his face like the soft candlelight in which they stood. Im just worried about you. The two newly appointed champions stood together in the dimly lit Hall, Cedrics hands on Harrys shoulders and his eyes on Harrys face. The longer they stood there the more selfconscious Harry felt. Judging by the knot in his stomach Harry supposed they had been standing there for hours before he finally spoke. Ive never been in the Great Hall this late, he stammered, glancing around at the glowing pumpkins. Its dark. Its dark? he mentally chastised himself. Moron. Yeah, Cedric agreed, not seeming to notice the awkwardness of the situation. His eyes shifted quickly to Harrys lips then back to his eyes again. Harry gulped. Are you going to? He couldnt even get the words out. Cedric smiled. He bent forward and Harry could have sworn he felt his heart stop beating. Bypassing the younger boys lips, Cedric instead leaned close to Harrys ear and whispered, Dont tempt me. With that, Cedric straightened back up. Still smiling, he winked like he had at the Quidditch World Cup, and strode silently out of the Great Hall.

No Matter What

a lack of color

CHAPTER SIX No Matter What

The corridors in Hogwarts were virtually deserted as Harry made his way up to the Gryffindor dormitory. His encounter in the Great Hall with Cedric Diggory had left him deeply confused and, incongruously, very excited. His mind buzzed with questions. What did that mean, dont tempt me? Had he been doing anything that could be construed as tempting? Harry certainly didnt think so. All hed said was, Are you going to Did Cedric know what Harry had been planning to say? It was possible, but that sentence could have ended in any number of ways. Maybe he was asking if Cedric was going to take his hands off of Harrys shoulders. Not that he would have asked that, ever, but it was an option. By the time he reached the portrait of the Fat Lady, Harry was in no mood for a party. Unfortunately, he didnt have much of a choice. What looked to be every resident of Gryffindor was crammed into the common room, all whistling, applauding, and cheering. You shouldve told us youd entered! Fred cried. How did you do it without getting a beard? George demanded. Brilliant! I didnt enter, Harry shouted over the din. I dont know how my name Oh if it couldnt be me, at least its a Gryffindor said Angelina, appearing out of nowhere, before being cut off by Katie Bell. Youll be able to pay back Diggory for that last Quidditch match, Harry! Katie shrieked. Harry scowled. The last thing he wasnt to do was pay back Diggory and for the first time it occurred to Harry how obnoxious Katie could be. It quickly became apparent to Harry that the party could have gone on just fine had he not been there. No one was paying any real attention to him. All anyone cared about was the idea that Harry Potter had rebelliously broken all the rules to enter the Triwizard Tournament and succeeded, consequence-free. How did you do it, Harry? How did you do it? How, how, how? For all the times he got asked, people sure werent listening to his answer. Cedric listened, a quiet, happy voice whispered in his head. Cedric believes me. Thinking about Cedric only made Harry more desperate to escape the chaotic common room. He took some time to search for Ron and Hermione, the only two people he had been looking forward to seeing upon his arrival, but they were nowhere to be found. After insisting several times that he needed to get some rest, he bolted up to his room as quickly as his feet would carry him.

Harry breathed a huge sigh of relief when he saw that Ron was still awake, lying fully dressed on his bed. Where the hell have you been? Harry asked, tugging at the Gryffindor banner knotted around his throat. I was looking all over for you and Hermione both. Did she go up to bed already? Im surprised you had time to look for us little people with your party going on, Ron muttered darkly. He sat up against his headboard and glared at the Hogwarts champion. So how did you do it, anyway? Whawhat do you mean? Harry said. I told you already, I didnt do anything. I dont know how my name got in that goblet. Whatever, Harry, the angry red-head replied. I figured youd at least want to tell me the truth, being your best friend and all. I do want to tell my best friend, Harry said, quickly losing his calm. If you see him around, could you tell him Im looking for him? Ron leapt to his feet. Maybe youd just rather tell Cedric. Is that it? The bottom fell out of Harrys stomach and he swallowed hard. What are you talking about? Harry demanded Im not completely daft, you know, Ron said. Well, youre doing a rather good impression, then, Harry snapped. You think I havent noticed? Ron continued. The way youre always defending him, staring at him? Hes probably the reason you entered the bloody competition! I didnt enter the competition! Harry shouted. Whatever, Ron repeated, getting back in bed and yanking the hangings around it closed. Queer. Without another word, Ron disappeared behind the dark red curtains. Harry sat down on his bed in a state of shock. Of all the people in Hogwarts not to believe him, he never would have imagined Ron to even be in the running. And then for Ron to actually call him.... A hard lump formed in Harrys throat and he ignored it. He refused to cry while Ron might still be awake and listening. He couldnt give him the satisfaction. If Malfoy had never broken Harry, Ron certainly wouldnt. Of course, Malfoy was never the best friend who turned on Harry when he needed him the most. The next morning Harry woke up in the same clothes he was wearing the night before, his glasses still on and slightly crooked. He hadnt even managed to crawl under his covers. Readjusting his glasses, Harry saw that Hermione was sitting at the foot of his bed gazing out the nearby window. mione? Harry ventured sleepily. Hermione looked over at Harry, startled. She gave the boy a smile that didnt quite reach her eyes, which were slightly glassy.

Good morning, Harry, she said. How are you feeling? Erm, fine, he responded, sitting up. What are you doing here? I thought you might be hungry, Hermione said, holding up a stack of toast wrapped in a napkin. You missed breakfast. Thanks, Harry said. He took the toast she offered and munched on a piece. It was rough and scratchy on his throat. He finished and began forcing down a second piece when Hermione spoke. Do you want to talk about it? Talk about what? Harry said innocently. Hermione glared at him. So Harry told her everything that happened in the side chamber the night before. He stopped when he got to the part where Dumbledore dismissed him and Cedric. So, do you believe me? Of course, Hermione said, affronted. I believed you when you told us last night. Seems youre to only one, Harry said bitterly. Then added, Well, you and Cedric. Cedric? Hermione asked lightly. Harry wished desperately that he knew some kind of spell to keep himself from blushing and answered, Yeah. He told me last night. After we left the chamber together. Oh. Hermione stared down at her hands. Harry, you know you can talk to me, dont you? What do you mean? Harry said, going for confused. Harry, she said, looking into the boys eyes. I know. Realizing she wouldnt buy his innocent act any longer, Harry simply asked, How? A number of reasons, she said. Im one of your best friends, and Id like to think I know you pretty well by now. Im a girl, and girls have intuition about these sorts of things. Plus you arent nearly as covert as you think you are. She hesitated. And a few things Ron said this morning. If I hadn't figured it out before then Hes saying things? Harry couldnt help feeling hurt. Throwing accusations around when it was just the two of them was one thing, but to say things behind his back. He only said them to me, she assured him. And what did you say? I told him hell keep his mouth shut if he knows whats good for him, Hermione replied. She placed her hand on Harrys. He will. And hell come around, too. Hes just confused. And probably jealous. Oh, please! Harry cried. Id swap with him any day. Hes not the one who was entered in a death-defying competition against his will! Or had his best friend turn his back on him! Hes not the one who has feelings for

Harry stopped short. Could he bring himself to say it out loud to another person? Hed done it before, by himself, when the dorm was quiet and empty. Just to test it out, to make sure the universe didnt implode or anything. So far it had not. Harry stared out the same window Hermione had been before. Outside, the early November sky was a cold, pale gray. Just like Cedrics eyes. I have feelings for Cedric Diggory, Harry said suddenly. He waited for harsh words, like the ones Ron had thrown at him. But they didnt come. Instead, Hermione merely tightened her grip on his hand. When Harry finally looked at her, she was still smiling. Kind of figured that out already, Hermione joked. But Im glad you told me yourself. Then she threw her arms around Harry, taking the boy by surprise. You know that I love you, right? No matter what? Normally, such an admission would have made Harry extremely uncomfortable. This time, hearing the warmth and love and acceptance in his friends voice, it only made him feel extremely grateful. No matter what, he agreed. Thanks, Hermione.

Woe is Me

a lack of color

CHAPTER SEVEN Woe is Me

Once their bonding moment was over, Hermione insisted that Harry write to Sirius about what had happened. Despite Harrys arguing that it would only make his godfather more agitated, she dragged him up to the Owlery. She presented him with some parchment, a quill, and a bottle of ink, then went to look out one of the rooms many windows so Harry could write in peace. Now, what to say? Harry wondered. Trying to sound as casual as possible, Harry simply wrote the truth; the Triwizard Tournament was being held at Hogwarts and, somehow, he had, somehow, been chosen as the fourth champion. He paused and stared blankly at the sentence he had just written.

The other Hogwarts champion is Cedric Diggory, from Hufflepuff.

Where in Merlins name did that come from? Harrys obsession with Cedric must have been reaching new heights if he was even able to work the boy into a letter to his godfather. For a moment, Harry considered writing something to Sirius about his strange new feelings for the older student. What would his reaction be? Would he be happy, or concerned? Would he be disgusted? Harry dipped his quill into the ink bottle, then wrote:

Hope youre okay, and Buckbeak Harry

Maybe he wasnt ready to come out to Sirius yet. It was probably best to only give someone one major piece of news at a time, and the Tournament was definitely the more urgent of the two. Besides, he had told Hermione. That was enough for one day. After sending his letter off with one of the school owls, and being viciously snubbed by Hedwig, Harry decided to fill Hermione in on his encounter with Cedric on their way down to lunch. Dont tempt me? Hermione repeated once his story was finished. Whats that supposed to mean? Thats exactly what Id like to know! Harry said.

Well, Hermione said, smiling slightly, maybe he likes you, too! Yeah, okay, Harry scoffed. He was probably just messing with me. I guess Ill have to get used to that, now that more than half the school hates me. Nobody hates you, Hermione said hastily, and dont change the subject. Why is it so hard to believe that Cedric might like you? Harry shrugged, unsure how to respond without looking completely pathetic. Hes Cedric, yknow? he said. Hes handsome, and popular, and perfect, and Im Harry Potter, Hermione filled in. Like it meant something. Yeah, yeah, Im the famous Harry Potter, got the scar to prove it and everything, he said dismissively. Except its complete dragonshit. Im not handsome, or popular, and Im certainly not perfect. You are too handsome, and popular, Hermione insisted. And nobody can be perfect, Harry. Believe me, Ive tried. Or do you forget my exhausting experience with the Time Turner? Like I could forget, Harry said. I just dont know what he could possibly see in me. Then youre not looking hard enough, Hermione informed him. She paused as they reached the entrance to the Great Hall. You should talk to him. Youd better not be talking about Ron again, Harry responded immediately, because after what he said to me I dont mean Ron, Hermione said. I mean Cedric. Harry stared blankly. Why would I do that? How else are you going to find out what he meant? Hermione asked. Its worth a try, anyway. Now come on, youve barely eaten all day. Hermione grabbed Harrys arm and pulled him into the Hall. By an unspoken agreement, all conversation about Cedric Diggory and his mysterious ways was put on hold. For a second, Harry thought everyone in the Hall was staring because they knew what he and Hermione had just been talking about. Then he remembered the Tournament and that all of the stares fixed on him were either in anger or admiration. All were unwelcome. He shuffled over to the Gryffindor table behind Hermione, refusing to as much as glance up, not wanting to see everyone talking about him. Hard as he tried, he was unable to stop himself from looking over at the Hufflepuff table when they were finally sitting. Cedric was looking right back at him. The Hufflepuff boy smiled at Harry and went back to eating his soup. A soft pink blush was crawling from his neck upward. Suddenly Harry found himself to be quite hungry, and it didnt bother him one bit that Ron wasnt sitting next to him for the first time since he could remember.

Never, in his entire experience at Hogwarts, had Harry been as miserable as he was over the next few days. He had come close a few times, like when he had lost Gryffindor nearly all its house points in his first year and when the majority of the school thought he was attacking Muggle-born students in his second. But then he had both Hermione and Ron beside him. And at least when Hermione was petrified by the creature from the Chamber of Secrets, Harry had the comfort of knowing she didn't stop speaking to him by choice. The fact that Ron was deliberately ignoring him made the situation even worse. Not that it needed any help. So far every house in Hogwarts except his own had suddenly turned on Harry. And even the support he received from the Gryffindors was not exactly helpful. Harry had reminded both of the Creevey brothers more times than he could count that he was one of the Hogwarts champions, and not the Hogwarts champion. Harrys anxiety was getting so bad that he couldnt even perform a Summoning Charm for Professor Flitwicks class. The only student to do worse than him was Neville, and just barely at that. Its not that difficult, Harry, Hermione said in a reassuring tone that would have been much more reassuring had she not been instantly successful at the charm. You just werent concentrating properly Wonder why that was, Harry muttered as Cedric walked past surrounded by a gaggle of fangirls. Hermione followed his gaze and smiled sympathetically. Have you tried talking to him? she asked. Ive wanted to, Harry said. But youve seen him. Hes constantly surrounded by, well, them. I actually caught a bunch of sixth-year girls begging him to sign their bags. Its enough to make you jealous? Hermione supplied. Maybe, Harry replied honestly. Ill figure something out. We have bigger concerns right now. Double Potions this afternoon. Now theres something be cheerful about, Hermione said sarcastically.

After a fairly uneventful lunch where only four students shouted anything rude at Harry, a record low since his name came out of the goblet, he and Hermione made their way down to Snapes dungeon. Waiting outside was a large group of Slytherins, each wearing badges with glowing red letters on them. As soon as Harry was close enough to read what the badges said he wished that he wasnt. He refused to respond to their taunts, even when surrounded on all sides by the bright green words POTTER STINKS. Only when Malfoy uttered the word Mudblood did Harry snap. Things happened very quickly after that. One minute his wand was out and he was breathing heavily. The next, Hermione was in the hospital wing, Gryffindor had been docked fifty points, and both he and Ron were given

detentions for shouting obscenities at the blatantly biased Professor Snape. For a split second, Harry hoped this injustice might just reunite them. It didnt. Harry was still seething when Colin Creevey arrived and informed Snape that the youngest champion was needed upstairs. As horrified as he was that he was being called up for what sounded like a photo shoot, Harry couldnt help feeling a little satisfied over how much letting him go angered Snape. Its amazing, isnt it, Harry? Colin said as they made their way up the stairs to the entrance hall. Isnt it, though? You being champion? Yeah, really amazing, Harry said, voice dripping with sarcasm. Not that Colin noticed. Ever. Suddenly he remembered something the eager boy had said back in the dungeon. Did you say all of the champions were going to be there? Yeah, Colin squeaked. Fleur and Krum are already there. At least thats what Cedric said. Harry stopped dead. Cedric? he said. When did you talk to Cedric? Why did you talk to Cedric? He was on his way to come get you when I ran into him, Colin explained. Good thing too, I dont think he had any idea where he was going. He was pacing in the entrance hall when I found him. I said I knew what class you were in and that Id go and fetch you. He told me it wasnt necessary, but I insisted, of course. Of course, Harry repeated. He followed Colin the rest of the way up the stairs. Did Cedric happen to mention what these photos are for? I think he said the Daily Prophet! Colin said enthusiastically. Isnt that great? Yeah, Harry said darkly. Its the greatest. Well, this is it, Colin said when they reached a closed door. Good luck, Harry! Thanks, Harry grumbled. He tried to open the door but it wouldnt budge. Remembering that this door liked to be asked nicely, Harry uttered a quick please and was granted entry. Inside, the small classroom had been completely rearranged for the shoot. Ludo Bagman was speaking with a witch Harry didnt recognize. Standing in a corner was Viktor Krum, staring sullenly off into space. Over to one side, Cedric was conversing with Fleur Delacour. Harry fumed as Fleur giggled and tossed her hair to one side, smiling coyly at the Hufflepuff boy. Cedric looked over and locked eyes with Harry briefly. Before either of them could do anything, Bagman spotted Harry and rushed toward him. Ah, here he is! Bagman cried, wrapping an inappropriately affectionate arm around the boy. Champion number four! In you come, Harry, in you come. After a brief and incredibly uncomfortable interview with Rita Skeeter, who it turned out was every bit as horrible and manipulative as her writing suggested, everyone gathered in the main room. Four of the five judges sat behind the velvet-covered table in front of the blackboard. The other champions sat in a row of chairs by the door. Harrys heart thudded as he took the only

remaining seat, which just happened to be next to Cedric. The boy smiled. Hey, he said softly. Harry simply nodded in response, rather than risk saying something stupid. Dumbledore took his seat as he introduced Mr. Ollivander. The old wand-maker stepped forward and asked to examine Fleur Delacours wand first. Harry tried to pay attention to the process Ollivander was going through and not the fact that Cedrics knee was resting lightly against his. Mr. Diggory, you next, Ollivander said when he finished with Fleur, who smiled at Cedric as he walked past her. Harry frowned. Ah, now, this is one of mine, isnt it? Ollivander said as he took Cedrics wand. Yes, I remember it well. Containing a single hair from the tail of a particularly fine male unicorn must have been seventeen hands; nearly gored me with his horn after I plucked his tail. Twelve and a quarter inches ash pleasantly springy. Its in fine condition. You treat it regularly? Polished it last night, Cedric said with a grin. He glanced at Harry. Uhm, what? Harry thought. Ollivander examined Cedrics wand, then had it release a row of silver smoke rings before letting the boy sit back down. Next came Krum. Harrys stomach was bunched in knots, and not just because Cedrics leg was now pressing even closer to his own. Good, Ollivander said as he handed Krum back his wand. Which leavesMr. Potter. Harry got up, leaving behind comforting yet dizzying effect physical contact with Cedric had on him, and shuffled over to where Ollivander stood. With some reluctance, he handed the man his wand. Aaaah, yes, Ollivander said. His eyes widened with excitement. Yes, yes, yes. How well I remember. Harry held his breath. Ollivander had given Cedrics wands entire history, and all that contained was a nasty incident with a unicorn. He didnt want to imagine how long-winded the man could be with his wand. The last thing Harry needed in the midst of all this drama was an article in the Daily Prophet revealing the relationship between his wand and Lord Voldemorts. He breathed a sigh of relief when Ollivander finally handed the wand back without another word. Several photos later they were all free to go. Dumbledore even allowed the champions to go straight to dinner, as they had taken so long that class was almost over anyway. It dawned on Harry that this was his opportunity to confront Cedric. He rushed out of the room after the enigmatic other champion, only to find that he was already waiting for Harry. He nodded a greeting and they both set off across the entrance hall. So, that went pretty well, Cedric said. I know, Harry agreed. I hope the first task is as simple as that was. Somehow I doubt it, Cedric said. What did that Skeeter woman want with you? Oh, you know, Harry groused. The big scoop on how I entered the tournament, a few tearful sentiments about my dead parents. Harry paused. What did Fleur want with you?

Who knows? Cedric replied. Probably a date, or at least a snog. She was laying on the charm pretty thick. I guess you noticed that. I did, Harry said. Did it work? No. Why not? Cedric stopped and looked at Harry seriously. What do you mean? he asked Well, Harry said. Shes pretty. And apparently part veela. Kind of hard to resist charm from a girl like that. For some, maybe, Cedric relented. But not you, Harry pointed out. Not me. Why not? Harry pressed. Cedric sighed and chewed his lip. Im just not interested in her. Why not? Broken record much? Cedric snapped, readjusting the shoulder strap of his bag. Why does it matter so much to you who I may or may not be interested in? Because I'm interested in Given the volume of his voice, Harry was extremely lucky that he stopped himself from finishing that sentence. He thought for a moment, and started again, this time much more quietly. The other night, it seemed like you were, you know were about to kiss me. Cedric stared at him. A horrible, mortifying thought exploded in Harrys mind. Were you about to kiss me? I was thinking about it, Cedric said frankly. The question escaped from Harrys mouth before he could stop it: Why? Well, thats slightly different, you did drop the not, Cedric grinned. He gave Harry a look like he was crazy before saying, Because I like you. Off across the grounds a bell rang signaling the end of class. Harry glanced over at the corridor of classrooms where students were all filing out for dinner. When he looked back Cedric was already halfway across the Great Hall. Harry stood by the door, beaming, and waited for Hermione, so he could thank her for telling him to confront Cedric.

I Should Tell You

a lack of color

CHAPTER EIGHT I Should Tell You

He said he likes you?!? Would you keep your voice down? Harry admonished, glancing around to make sure no one had overheard. When it appeared no one had, he answered, in a much quieter voice than his friend, Yes, he said he likes me. I cant believe you didnt come and tell me this last night!! Hermione cried. I didnt know where you were, Harry said in his defense. Besides, you were kind of busy trying to get getting those fangs reduced. How are your teeth, by the way? Theyre fine, dont worry about it, Hermione said. This is great! Then, off the expression on Harrys face, added, Isnt it great? No, itsits great, Harry said uncertainly. I just have no idea what to do now. Well, you told him you like him back, right? Harry stared down at his breakfast. You told him you like him back, right? Hermione repeated, much more forcefully. The boy still didnt answer. Oh, Harry! I didnt have time! Harry said hastily. The bell rang and people were coming down for dinner and I looked away for a second and he just took off! Harry stabbed at his eggs with his fork. This is not my fault. And Im getting really tired of defending myself to people. I should have Not My Fault printed up on a T-shirt or something and wear it at all times. You would make quite the fashion statement with that, Hermione joked. Im sorry, I didnt mean to upset you. I just want all of this to work out for you. She took a bite of her eggs and grimaced. Ow. What? Nothing, Hermione said. I just bit my tongue. She pressed a finger to it, checking for blood. I really hate Malfoy. Im sure the feeling is mutual, Harry said. He laughed and said, Could you imagine if he was the one I had a crush on?

I think you should be the one biting your tongue, Hermione replied. Point taken, Harry said. So you think I should try and talk to Cedric? Absolutely, Hermione told him. Look at it this way: you already know he likes you, so what could possibly go wrong?

Perhaps it was because Hermione had tested fate by asking what could possibly go wrong, or because Harry was destined to be extremely unlucky in love. Or maybe it was simply because Rita Skeeter was that much of a horrible person. All Harry knew was that he had just about built up enough courage to confront Cedric and tell him how he felt when he discovered that the article about the Triwizard Tournament had been printed. As it turned out, it was a great deal less about the tournament than they had been led to believe. That much was obvious from the incredibly large picture of Harry on the Daily Prophets front page. Now Harry was spending as much time avoiding Cedric as he had working up the nerve to face him. Youre being ridiculous, Hermione told him during one of their lunchtime visits to the library. Im not being ridiculous, Harry insisted, riding low in his seat so he wouldnt be seen. He was scribbling absentmindedly on a piece of parchment with his quill. Maybe Ive just decided that I dont like Cedric anymore. Did you even think about that? No, I didnt think about that, Hermione said. Probably because youve been doodling the letter C for the past ten minutes. Harry flushed and scratched out the offending letter. Im been drawing broomsticks, too. Are you going to tell me Im in love with my Firebolt as well? Well, I have always suspected you had an unhealthy addiction to Quidditch, Hermione said. And brooms are quite phallic. It might explain a few things. Very funny, Harry said. Im sure Cedric knows what kind of person Rita Skeeter is, Hermione said. He did meet her, after all. And even if he does believe that rubbish she wrote about you, then hes not even worth your time. A peel of giggles sounded from behind one of the bookshelves and Hermione frowned. Ugh, theyre back again. Whenever Harry and Hermione spent time in the library lately, they found that the Durmstrang champion, Viktor Krum, was also there. He never bothered them, but he did bring an annoyance with him. Krum, it seemed, had garnered a small group of female followers during his short stay at Hogwarts. Hermione called them the Viktorias, and she considered them extremely irritating. I didnt even notice them there, Harry said nervously. Do you think they heard us? I dont think they can hear anything over that obnoxious giggling, Hermione muttered. Its pathetic, really. They only like him because hes famous! They wouldnt look twice at him if he couldnt do that Wonky-Faint thing

Wronski Feint, Harry corrected automatically. Broomstick-lover, Hermione replied crossly. Harry stared down at the markings on the sheet in front of him. A crossed out letter C stared back at him. Do you think thats why Cedric likes me? he asked. Because Im famous? I think Cedrics smarter than that, Hermione said. But you wont know unless you talk to him. All right, Ill think about it, Harry promised, standing up from the table. Happy? Ecstatic, Hermione said. Where are you going? I just realized I left my Potions essay back up in the dorm, Harry explained. Well, hurry, Hermione warned him. The last thing you need right now is another detention with Snape. As he made his way up to the Gryffindor Tower, Harry thought about speaking with Cedric, just as he promised Hermione he would. She was right, of course; he should just do it, get it over with. He was going to have to face Cedric eventually, they were both competing in the tournament. Maybe he could try and find Cedric that night after dinner, or sometime over the weekend. Or sometime next week.... Gotcha! Suddenly Harry was pulled into a narrow side corridor by a strong pair of hands and pressed against a wall. He scrambled for his wand as he looked into the eyes of his attacker; smiling, gray eyes. Cedric? Sorry for jumping you like that, Cedric apologized, still keeping Harrys shoulders pinned to the wall. I didnt see any other choice. Just saying hello never crossed your mind?! Harry cried. You nearly gave me a heart attack! Youve been avoiding me, Cedric said. What was I supposed to do? I havent been.... Harry started, but Cedrics eyes bore into his and he couldnt finish the lie. So you noticed that, eh? You basically fled whenever I came near you, Cedric said. Kind of hard not to. Cedric frowned and asked, Is this because of what I told you? What? Harry asked back, genuinely confused. Then he realized what the older boy meant and his eyes widened. Oh! No, of course not! I figured you would be mad about the article, so I thought it was best to just stay out of your way. Im not mad, Cedric grinned. I dont care about stupid newspaper articles. Your friends certainly do, Harry grumbled. I cant seem to turn a corner these days without someone reciting to me how I still cry at night over my dead parents.

Believe me, anyone who would do that to you is not my friend, Cedric reassured him. Amazing how many of those friends Ive picked up since the tournament began. Im getting high fives from people Ive never even seen before. Its disturbing, the number of strangers that've touched me in the last few weeks. Youre welcome to switch places with me, Harry said grimly. Id take being touched over being cursed at any day. Cedric slowly moved his hand from Harrys shoulder to his cheek. He stared down at the younger boy and swallowed. Like this? he asked, voice shaking. Not exactly what I had in mind, Harry said, just as shaky. He brought a hand up to cup the one holding his face. His heart was going so fast he thought it might burst. The way Cedrics eyes gazed into Harrys made his insides grow warm. He didnt want to ever leave this place. To think, he wouldve never even come across Cedric like this if he hadnt forgotten his Potions essay! Harry shouted suddenly. What? said the incredibly confused Hufflepuff. I forgot my Potions essay up in my room! Harry pulled himself away reluctantly and tore out of the small corridor. Wait! Cedric called. Harry skidded to a halt, nearly toppling over. Can I Are you going to Hogsmeade this weekend? I wasnt really planning on it, Harry admitted. Its not like theres anyone going who wants to see me. Well, Im going, Cedric said, smiling slightly. So that makes at least one. Harry, unsure how to respond to this statement, simply nodded, then rushed off toward the Gryffindor Tower with a quick wave. Luckily he was able to find his way there without having to pay much attention to where he was going, because while his body was rushing up and down flights of stairs, his mind was back in that corridor with Cedrics hand on his face and his eyes on Harrys lips. He barely noticed the glare Snape gave him when he rushed into the dungeon seconds before class began.

At dinner, Harry filled Hermione in on his run-in with Cedric. Were going, Hermione told him. What about Ron? he asked. Dont you want to go with him? I could always meet with him while youre with Cedric, Hermione said. She added hesitantly, Or we could meet with him together.

Or we could meet with him together. No, Harry said firmly. And Im bringing my Invisibility Cloak. Now, thats just silly, Hermione said, how can Cedric see you if youre invisible? She pondered that statement a moment and said, You know what I mean. Yeah, I do, Harry said. If we happen to run into Cedric, I dunno, Ill take it off, I guess. But Id rather not have to face anyone else. Hermione gave a halfhearted sigh, but agreed.

The Three Broomsticks was as crowded that weekend as ever. Harry almost couldnt make it to an empty table without bumping into someone, which is not the best way to keep people from noticing youre wearing an Invisibility Cloak. He sat with Hermione in silence, her mind on S.P.E.W., Harrys not so much. For the most part his thoughts were of his meeting with Sirius much later that evening, but as always there were also a few about Cedric intermingling. He wondered what Sirius would have to say to him, and if seeing his godfather would do anything to calm his addled nerves. He also wondered if Cedric would show up in the Three Broomsticks, an idea that made him anything but calm. Harry looked at the sea of smiling, cheerful faces surrounding him. If his name hadnt come out of the goblet, he would be among them. It wasnt the first time it had occurred to him, and certainly wouldnt be the last, but every time it still stung a bit. He wouldnt be in a fight with Ron, and he wouldnt be anticipating Tuesday with such paralyzing self-doubt. After sitting in silence for several minutes, they were approached by Moody and Hagrid. Their encounter left Harry more confused than ever, with the revelation that Moodys magical eye could see through his Cloak and Hagrids request that Harry come to his cabin that night. Why does Hagrid want me to meet him at midnight? Harry wondered aloud as soon as the two professors had moved on. Does he? Hermione responded, surprised. I wonder what hes up to? I dont know whether you should go, Harry. It might make you late for Sirius. Talking to yourself, Granger? a cheerful voice said. Both Harry and Hermione looked up, startled, to find Cedric making his way through the crowd to their table, carrying a bottle of butterbeer. What? Hermione said. Oh. Yes, I was just thinking out loud. Mind if I sit? Cedric asked, indicating the seat Harry was in. To him, it appeared to be empty. No! she cried, grabbing at the chair before Cedric could reach it. I mean, yes. I mean, sit over here. She moved some of her S.P.E.W. papers toward Harrys side of the table to make room for the older boy. Thanks, he said, slightly bemused by Hermiones antics. What is all that stuff, anyway? Cedric glanced at one of the pages and read the word he saw there, Spew?

The Society for the Promotion of Elfish Welfare, Hermione explained exasperatedly. Its a club dedicated to ensuring that house-elves are given fair wages and proper working conditions, like sick days and time off. Its two Sickles to join, she hinted. Oh, Cedric said. Undoubtedly he regretted having asked. He took a swig of his butterbeer and looked nervously around. So, uh, have you seen Harry anywhere? I havent, Hermione replied honestly. Oh, Cedric said again, though much more heavily this time. He looked rather disappointed and chewed at his lip thoughtfully. Hermione, he said. Has Harry mentioned me at all? Hermione stared, clearly at a loss for words, and the Hufflepuff blushed. Sorry, that was stupid. Ill leave you to your work. He stood and started to walk away. Hermione stared pleadingly at where she knew Harry was sitting. Cedric, wait! she said. For a second Harry thought she was going to yank off his Cloak and reveal that he had been there the whole time. Cedric turned back around. Harry just has a lot going on right now, Hermione said. Give him time. Im sure hellturn upeventually. She smiled knowingly. Cedric smiled back. Thanks, he said. Oh, and here. Cedric dug into his pocket and brandished two silver Sickles. "This S.P.E.W. sounds like a noble cause." He handed the coins to Hermione and departed with a wave. That went well, Harry said once Cedric was gone. You prat, Hermione chided. What happened to taking off the Invisibility Cloak if Cedric showed up? I cant just take it off in the middle of a crowded room, Hermione, Harry shot back. People might think Im trying to show off some more. I suppose thats true, Hermione said. It was awfully nice of him to join S.P.E.W. like that. Her eyes widened as she realized, Oh, shoot! I forgot to give him a badge. I dont think hell mind, Harry told her. Dont ruin this by making me have to kick you under the table, Hermione warned. Hes sweet. And he so obviously likes you. There are scarier things to face than a teenage boy with a crush.

Like dragons, for example. After Hagrid showed him the fearsome, fiery beasts, they were practically all Harry could think about. He and Hermione spent most of Sunday in the library reading any book they could find involving dragons, until Viktor Krum came in, followed by the Viktorias, at which point

Hermione insisted they relocate to their common room. So far they hadnt been able to find anything useful. Harrys conversation with Sirius hadnt been too helpful, either. Instead of alleviating his fears about the oncoming task, his godfather had only made him more nervous about everything else. To make matters worse, Harry had been planning on (probably) confessing his strange new feelings to Sirius once they were done discussing dragons, until Ron interrupted them and forced Sirius to depart from fear of being caught. The incident, and resulting argument, had done nothing to endear Ron to him. By Monday morning Harry felt like he hadnt gotten a decent nights sleep in ages. He could barely get any breakfast down, so he fell back on his favorite mealtime hobby: surreptitiously watching Cedric at the next table over. He doesnt know about the dragons, Harry realized suddenly. Madame Maxime had probably told Fleur about them. And what else would Karkaroff have been doing creeping about if not trying to find out what the first task was to tell Krum? If Harry was right, Cedric was the only one of the four champions who didnt know what was coming. Seeing Cedric rise from the Hufflepuff table, Harry quickly made his decision. Hermione, Ill see you in the greenhouses, Harry said absently to his friend. Go on, Ill catch you up. Hermione followed his gaze and grinned. All right, she replied. Just be quick, the bells about to ring. Hurrying after the older boy, Harry noticed that he was surrounded by several other sixth-year students. He couldnt talk to Cedric in front of them. What would they think of Harry passing along secret information about the task? Plus, some of them were the ones who had been quoting the Daily Prophet article to him for the past few weeks. Harry really didnt want to hear any of that right now. He followed the group all the way to the third floor without any clue how to separate Cedric from his annoying lackeys. He seriously considered taking drastic measures, like using a spell to split Cedrics bag or something, but realized how ridiculous that was. Cedric! Harry shouted before he realized what he was doing. I guess Im going for the direct approach, he thought quickly. The group of sixth years stopped and looked back at him. Several rolled their eyes or made angry faces. Some even made rude gestures behind Cedric's back. Cedric himself looked pleased yet puzzled. Harry? he said. What Cedric turned back to the rest of the group. You all go ahead, tell Flitwick Ill be right along. The others grudgingly departed, though not without casting a few glares at Harry first. The remaining Hufflepuff approached Harry with a smile. Well this is a pleasant Dragons! Harry blurted. I was going to say surprise but okay, pleasant dragons, Cedric replied. The first task, Harry explained, is dragons. Theyve got one for each of us; you, me, Fleur and Krum.

Youre not joking, Cedric said, the smile slowly evaporating from his face. If I was, it wouldnt be very funny, would it? No, not really, Cedric said. He ran his hand through his hair, looking about as worried as Harry felt. And youre sure about this? Well, I saw them, so unless I mistook something else to be four dragons, Harry said. We have to get past them somehow, thats all I know. Wait, back up, Cedric said. How did you see them? How do you know all of this? Does it matter? Harry asked, hoping Cedric wouldnt press any further. He was sure Hagrid would get into trouble if anyone knew he had told Harry about the dragons. Forget told him about them, he showed them to Harry! This could get Hagrid sacked. I guess not, Cedric sighed. Look, Im pretty sure Fleur and Krum know, Harry said. Madame Maxime and Karkaroff both saw the dragons. So I just wanted to tell you. Cedric eyed Harry suspiciously and asked, Why? Harry stared. Are you joking? he asked incredulously. Its dragons! You know, he waved his arms, imitating large, flapping wings, dragons? He hesitated, then added softly, Im worried about you, too, you know. I dont want to see you get hurt. Why? Cedric asked, taking a step closer. Now whos the broken record? Harry teased. Maybe I like you, too. Maybe Cedric said. He was leaning so close now. Suddenly a notorious clunking sound came from a nearby doorway. The two boys turned quickly and saw Mad-Eye Moody appear. Come with me, Potter, he growled. Diggory, off you go.

Fortune Favors the Brave

a lack of color

CHAPTER NINE Fortune Favors the Brave

Potter and Diggory couldnt move, frozen in terror. Cedric was the first one to attempt a plea in their defense. P-professor, he stammered. We-we were just Im not going to tell you twice, Diggory, Moody said, his calm tone barely masking the underlying threat. Get going! Giving Harry a sympathetic glance, Cedric turned and headed for the same classroom his friends had entered. Something about the way Moody watched him go made Harry extremely uncomfortable. He wondered if Moodys eye could see through muscles and bone, see how rapidly their hearts were beating. Would he think their guilty expressions were from anxiety over being caught out of class? It was part of the reason. The other part, well, that was something worse. Could Moody have heard them talking, seen how close they were to? Lets go, Potter, Moody grumbled, He turned and, with surprising speed for someone with a limp, headed toward the stairs. Professor, Harry began, rushing after the former Auror, Im supposed to be in Herbology Never mind that, Potter, Moody replied. He spoke with the same edge he had used on Cedric. In my office, please. Figuring it was best not to argue with the man who turned Draco Malfoy into a ferret, Harry followed in silence. What kind of punishment would he give Harry for catching him with another boy in the Charms corridor during class time? Sooner than Harry would have liked they were at Moodys office. Moody ushered the boy inside, then entered behind him and closed the door. He faced Harry, staring at him with both his normal and magical eyes. That was a very decent thing you just did, Potter, Moody said evenly. Harry stared. What the hell is he talking about? Moody told Harry to sit and went on to discuss the Triwizard Tournament. All he cared about was that Harry had told Cedric about the dragons. Harry relaxed considerably, especially when Moody began giving him advice about the task. By the time he left the Defense Against the Dark Arts professors office, he was almost glad that Moody had interrupted him and Cedric.

Almost.

Harry, you need to concentrate, said Hermione for the umpteenth time. Merlins beard, Hermione! Harry cried. I get it! Okay? I get it! I know I have to concentrate! It doesnt help for you to keep saying it over and over and over again! Across the Gryffindor common room, Hermione scowled. It was nearly one in the morning, and they had been attempting to teach Harry the Summoning Charm for hours. Given the trouble he had been having with it so far, it was not going well. The first task was mere hours away and Harry was showing no signs of improving. Im only trying to help you, you know, Hermione said coolly. Maybe I should just go up to bed and let you figure this out on your own. Harry smiled despite himself. You could never let me get away with not being able to perform a charm properly, dragon or no dragon, he replied. The distraught champion plopped down in an armchair near the fire and removed his glasses so he could massage the bridge of his nose. He was getting very tired, and seriously considering just throwing in the towel on his whole Summoning Charm idea. It was good in theory but, even if he did learn it in the next few hours, it certainly wouldnt help for him to face the dragon exhausted. Perhaps some sort of inspiration would strike him after a good nights sleep. It was extremely doubtful, but at this point it was all he had. He was on the verge of suggesting this to Hermione when she spoke up again. I think were going about this the wrong way, she said. Maybe if we used some sort of analogy to help you focus. What do you mean? Harry asked. Well, Hermione began, try thinking about something that you want. I want to learn how to do this charm, Harry quipped. No, I dont mean like a goal, Hermione said. All right. Close your eyes and relax. Harry raised a skeptical eyebrow at his friend. Then, secure in the knowledge that she was one of the brightest students at Hogwarts, did as he was told. Besides, he doubted she would have him do anything of no use so late the night before he was going to face a dragon. It took a few moments for his hectic brain to settle down, but Hermione waited patiently. Now, Hermione said, after enough time had passed. Think back. Hasnt there ever been anything that you wanted so badly that you felt like if you just wished hard enough, it would appear? Focus on those things, and how that made you feel. In his mind, Harry went back to his days on Privet Drive . He thought about his aunt and uncle and cousin. About the tiny cupboard under the stairs that he had lived in for more than a decade.

About all the things that he had been deprived of as a child. It was a long list; toys, friends, food. Parents. Beauty. Color. Happiness. Love. A horrible yearning feeling socked Harry in the chest after each item on this list. Can you remember that feeling? Hermione asked softly. Yes, Harry answered, still deep in concentration. Good, Hermione said. Now I want you to think of thinks that youve gotten. Things that have made you happy. Now Harrys reflections were much more recent, all within the last three years or so. Anything that made him truly happy came after his eleventh birthday. Finding out that he was a wizard. Making his first friend on the Hogwarts Express. (Though that memory now had a tinge of sadness when he thought about how Ron currently was not speaking to him.) Harry remembered the first time he rode a broom, and every time after that. The first Quidditch game he ever won. Finding out that Sirius was innocent and the temporary elation of believing he would take Harry away from the Dursleys forever. Finding out that Cedric liked Harry the same way Harry liked him. A warm, rumbling feeling rolled around in Harrys stomach as he remembered all the things that had made living the first eleven years of his life before the last three worthwhile. Can you remember that feeling? Hermione asked again in that same soft, soothing tone. Yes, Harry repeated. Good, Hermione said. You can open your eyes now. He did. Do you feel a little more relaxed? Harry nodded. Now what do I do? Okay, youre going to take what you just did and apply it here, Hermione explained. While youre focusing on the object youre trying to summon, think about how you felt when you wanted something. Then when you cast the spell, think about the way you felt when you actually got something. Its all about the emotion behind the charm, as well as the visualization. Nodding like he understood, Harry got to his feet. He looked around for something to try and summon. There were several items to choose from scattered around the otherwise empty common room. Deciding to start small, Harry turned his focus on a quill hed noticed. He concentrated on the feather and, like Hermione told him to, thought about that feeling of longing. Harry let the feeling grow stronger and stronger. I want that quill. Accio Quill! he cried.

Accio Quill! he cried. At the same time, Harry switched his focus from the wanting feeling to the having feeling, visualizing the quill zooming towards him. Astonishingly, this is exactly what the quill did. It flew swiftly across the room and right into Harrys open palm. You did it! Hermione shouted, beaming. Oh, Harry, I knew you could! Harry smiled too, feeling immensely proud of himself. I couldnt have done it without you, Hermione, he told her. Where did you learn that technique? Actually, I just made it up on the spot, Hermione confessed. I figured if I could simply get you to calm down and find a way for you to relate to it, everything else would just fall into place. Thank goodness it did, because I honestly have no idea what I would have done if it hadnt. Nice, Hermione, Harry laughed. All right, I might as well keep practicing. Maybe something a bit heavier than a feather this time. For the next hour, Harry made an assortment of objects fly across the room at his bidding. By two oclock he was surrounded by so many that he was almost barricaded by them. Harry, youve made an amazing improvement, Hermione said, looking delighted, though tired. Come on, lets put this stuff back and head up to bed. I just hope the charm is good enough for tomorrow, Harry said nervously, up righting a chair he had summoned ten minutes earlier. The Firebolts going to be a lot farther away than any of this stuff. Dont worry about that, Hermione insisted. As long as you concentrate and put the proper feeling into the spell youll do fine. Remember: if you want it badly enough, you can make it happen. She looked at the clock she had just put back in its place. I think this clock is running slowly. It mightve broken after I dropped it, Harry said. Hed tried summoning the thing then accidentally let it fall when he discovered it was too heavy for him to catch. He paused. Maybe we dont tell anyone that happened. Maybe, Hermione said. Harry knew she must have been worn-out if she was willing to lie about destruction of school property. He thanked her again and they both said goodnight. Harry climbed the stairs to his dorm and collapsed on his bed without even changing into pajamas, trying his hardest not to think about what he was going to be facing tomorrow. That night Harry dreamed he was being chased by a dragon with gray eyes that fled every time he turned to face it.

Harry, eat something, Hermione pleaded. Youre going to need your strength.

Harry glanced at her over his lunch. He didnt want to admit that if he tried to eat it he might lose it, so he said nothing. Instead he poked at the food in front of him with his fork a bit more. Hermione frowned, but didnt push any further. Harry was grateful for her understanding silence. They were both very much aware that he would be called to face his task at any moment. Suddenly they both heard a lot of shouting at the next table. What is that? Harry wondered, craning his neck to see who was yelling. Much to Harrys surprise, it was Cedric? Oh no, Hermione murmured. He must have caught someone wearing one of those badges. Whating one of those who? Harry asked, very confused as to what could make someone as peaceable as Cedric holler like that. The badges, Hermione repeated. Those Support Cedric/Potter Stinks badges? Surely you know that hes been giving hell to anyone who wears them? Harry stared vacantly at his friend. Oh. Wow. I guess you didnt know. Why would he do something like that? Harry wondered. Now it was Hermiones turn to stare. You really are a dope, Harry. Thanks, Hermione, Harry said petulantly. Exactly what I want to hear when Im about to face a dragon. As if on cue, Professor McGonagall appeared at Harrys side and told him it was time for the first task. Harry dropped his utensil on his plate and stood up from his seat. Good luck, Harry, Hermione said. She lowered her voice so McGonagall wouldnt hear and added, Just remember what we went over and youll be fine. Okay, he said. Harry tried to sound confident but even he could hear the hollowness in his voice. As McGonagall escorted Harry to where the dragons were being kept, the nervous young champion noticed that the head of Gryffindor house was acting very strange. She seemed apprehensive and kept shooting Harry concerned looks. In a highly uncharacteristic gesture, she even placed a hand on his shoulder. Now, dont panic, McGonagall advised, just keep a cool head.... Harry nearly had to bite his tongue to keep from laughing. Cool head? He wondered if the professor had chosen that phrase on purpose. She said a few more encouraging things before finally giving up. She probably figured there was no consoling him at this point. She was right. After a few more too-short minutes, they arrived at the enclosure where the dragons were being held. A large tent had been put up in front of it, blocking the dragons from view. McGonagall told him to enter the tent, as he would be given instructions inside, and wished him luck. Harry thanked her and went inside. The other three champions were already there. Fleur was sitting on a stool looking feeble and

clammy and very un-Fleurlike. Krum was scowling harder than ever. Cedric was pacing back and forth across the tent. The minute Harry entered he looked up, like he had been waiting, and smiled. It was a weak smile, but it was there. It lifted Harrys spirits enough for him to give a small smile in return, however much his face muscles tried to rebel against it. Harry! Good-o! Bagman cried. He sounded much too cheerful for a man who knew what they were all about to face. Come in, come in, make yourself at home! And once more Harry found himself being literally dragged into an uncomfortable situation by the man. The overly-excited Ministry official explained that once the audience was in place the champions would each choose at random which dragon they were going to face. He was very careful not to say dragons yet, but Harry, like the other champions, already knew, of course. The only new information he gave them was the reason they were facing the creatures: to capture a golden egg from it. While they waited, Harry sat himself down on one of the chairs that had been provided for them. He closed his eyes and repeated what he and Hermione had discussed over and over. Harry felt someone sit beside him. He looked over and saw Cedric giving him a labored smile. How are you holding up? he asked softly. Im not, Harry admitted. You? The same, I guess, Cedric said. I bet youre regretting entering right about now, Harry joked. Actually, Cedric replied, at this particular moment, Im pretty happy that I entered. He took a quick look around to see if anyone was watching, which they werent because they were all too worried about themselves, then placed his hand over Harrys. Harry looked down at their joined hands, then back up at Cedric. There was anxiety in those deep gray eyes, yeah, but something else as well. Something that made the yearning, wanting feeling and the joyful, having feeling Harry had been working on conjuring mix and mesh until he felt like his whole torso was on fire. Listen, Cedric said. I was hoping I could see you later tonight. Our houses will inevitably have celebrations planned for tonight, but after that, maybe. I was thinking you could meet me in the entrance hall around eleven? Would that be okay? His eyes were now communicating a nervousness that had nothing to do with dragons. Harry smiled, an honest smile this time. Id like that, he said. Good, Cedric said, smiling broadly. Great. Thatll be something to look forward to, then. Harry nodded in agreement. Cedric gave Harrys hand a soft yet firm squeeze before releasing it. Then the crowd died down and Bagman called for their attention again. It was time to choose. They each picked out a dragon with a number on it. Fleur chose the Welsh Green, and the number two. Krum picked the Chinese Fireball, and the number three. Cedric got the Swedish ShortSnout, and would be going first. Harry knew exactly what was left: he would be going last, and he would be facing the Hungarian Horntail. The dragon Charlie Weasley had called vicious, and said he didnt envy whoever had to go up against that one.

Harry was very proud of himself for not throwing up on the spot. Bagman explained what they all already knew; that they would be facing the real-life version of the model they had chosen by order of the number around their dragons neck. Mr. Diggory, youre first, just go out into the enclosure when you hear a whistle, Bagman finished. Or at least they thought he was finished until he said, Now Harry could I have a quick word? Outside? Harry stared. He had been hoping to spend his last few dragon-free moments with Cedric before the older boy was called to face his. As much as he would have liked to say no, Harry thought it was best to find out what Bagman wanted. Er, all right, Harry said. He gave an apologetic look to Cedric as he followed Bagman outside. The older wizard led him a short distance away from the tent and then turned, looking anxious. Feeling all right, Harry? Anything I can get you? What? Harry said. I no, nothing. This is what he pulled me away for? Harry wondered. Got a plan? Bagman asked him. Because I dont mind sharing a few pointers, if youd like them, you know. I mean, he put a hand on Harrys shoulder like McGonagall had done earlier, youre the underdog here, Harry. Anything I can do to help No, Harry said. Bagman looked slightly offended at his abruptness but Harry didnt really care. First he pulled Harry out of the tent and away from one of the few people who were of comfort to him at the moment, and then he suggested that Harry cheat. This was the Ministrys head of the Department of Games and Sports. In Harrys opinion, the man deserved much more than abruptness. Thanks anyway, Harry added, but Ive already got a plan. His mind was working over time, going back and forth between thinking about Hermiones technique and Cedric. Focus on wanting, focus on having. Cedrics eyes staring into his as they clouded over with unease. On wanting, on having. Cedrics suggestion that they meet later that night. Oh, Bagman said. Well, are you sure you dont want me to A whistle sounded somewhere on the other side of the tent. Good lord, Ive got to run! He quickly ran off towards the crowd, leaving Harry alone. Harry was heading back toward the tent just as Cedric was exiting it. For once, the Hufflepuff boy didnt smile when he saw Harry. He did nod, however. His face was a horrible ashy color. Good luck, Harry said gently, clasping a hand on Cedrics arm as they passed each other. All of a sudden, Hermiones words rang out in his head. Remember: if you want it badly enough, you can make it happen. Cedric, he called, turning back around.

The other boy stopped and turned as well. Without the slightest bit of hesitation, Harry rushed forward and kissed him. Cedric leaned into the kiss, and Harry leaned back, both pouring every ounce of frustration and worry and want they had into each other. An instant later it was over, and Cedric was staring down at Harry, breathing heavily. What was that? Cedric asked. Something to look forward to, Harry replied. Cedric blinked, then smiled and continued around to the other side of the tent. Harry watched him depart before going back inside. As he listened to the crowd cheer upon Cedrics entrance, Harry pulled out his tiny model of the Hungarian Horntail. He smiled down at the tiny creature. Bring it on.

We're Okay

a lack of color

CHAPTER TEN Were Okay

While the crowd continued to cheer for Harrys heroic escape, Madam Pomfrey dragged him into the first aid tent so she could attend to his wounds. He had gotten away relatively unscathed, the creatures tail had only grazed Harrys shoulder, but any wound received from a dragon was to be taken seriously. She led him to one of the tents cubicles and sat him down. Last year dementors, this year dragons, Madam Pomfrey muttered as she checked Harrys shoulder, what are they going to bring into this school next? Youre very lucky this is quite shallow itll need cleaning before I heal it up, though. Harry waited patiently as she applied a purple liquid to his cut. He grimaced in pain, and annoyance, when the liquid caused his wound to smoke and sting. Apparently Madam Pomfrey didnt think it was necessary to warn him about the potions side-effects. Harry looked over at the wall separating his section of the tent from the next one. He could just barely make out Cedrics shadow on the canvas. Harry couldnt tell what kinds of wounds Cedric had sustained through the heavy fabric, but felt comforted by the fact that the other boy was sitting up. If it was something more serious he would probably be lying down or something. After Pomfrey had healed his cut with her wand, Harry got up from his seat, hoping to go check on the older boy. Now, just sit quietly for a minute sit! Madam Pomfrey said, forcing him back into his chair. And then you can go and get your score. Who cares about my score? Harry thought angry. I want to go and get Cedric. He didnt voice these thoughts. Instead Harry rolled his eyes and nodded. She had healed him, after all. And if she wanted to, Harry reckoned Madam Pomfrey had a few tricks up her wand to make sure he stayed put. He watched her march out of his portion of the tent and right next door to Cedrics. How does it feel now, Diggory? Harry heard her ask through the canvas. His insides clenched with renewed anxiety. That didnt sound good. Harry already nearly had a heart attack listening to Bagmans tantalizingly cryptic comments while Cedric was facing his dragon. (Comments like Oooh, narrow miss there, very narrow and Hes taking risks, this one!) After spending so much time worrying about facing the dragon, he damn near burst out into the arena to make sure Cedric was all right. Deciding a slightly cross Madam Pomfrey wasnt entirely as scary to face as a fully-grown dragon, Harry hurried out of his cubicle to go see how Cedric really was. He pulled aside the flap that served as a door and found himself face-to-face with Hermione and Ron.

Harry, you were brilliant! Hermione cried. She was absolutely glowing with admiration, despite tearstains running down either side of her face. I knew you could do it! I just knew you could! Thanks, he said to Hermione, but he was looking at Ron instead. Do you have anything to say? Rons ears turned pink. That was some pretty fancy flying, he said in a fake casual voice. Youre telling me, Harry smirked. Harry he began awkwardly. Its okay, Harry said, suddenly realizing he didnt need an apology. Forget it. No, Ron said. I should never have Then dont, Harry interrupted. Its okay. Okay, Ron replied, smiling genuinely now. Harry smiled too. A sharp sniffle drew their attention to Hermione, who was dabbing at a fresh batch of tears with her sleeve. What are you crying about? Ron asked. Shut up, Ron, Hermione snapped. Careful there, Harry warned, picking up his Firebolt the golden egg he had collected. He winced, finding their weight put more strain on his still sensitive shoulder than he expected. We dont need another feud; Ive had my fill for the year. Good point, Ron said, taking the broom and egg from the injured boy before he could argue. Cmon, theyre probably ready to put your scores up. Ron led the way out of the tent, followed by Harry and Hermione, with the battered champion leaning on his female friend for support. Harry tried to catch a glimpse of Cedric as they passed his stall but the flap was closed. He wanted desperately to ask his friends if the Hufflepuff boy was all right but was afraid to mention him so soon after making up with Ron. Unable to contain himself, he asked guardedly, So, how did the other champions do? By other champions, do you mean Cedric? Ron replied with a nervous grin. Harry squirmed. You dontI mean, we dont have to No, its okay, Ron assured him. He did pretty well, actually. Not nearly as good as you, but then who was? Harry flushed with pride. Anyway, he did this cool bit of Transfiguration, turning a rock into a dog. I think he was trying to get the dragon to go after it instead of him. Didnt work out too well. Hes all right, Ron added off the look on Harrys face. He got a little burned, but he was able to walk out of there on his own. The tight feeling in Harrys stomach alleviated dramatically as they made their way back to the enclosure. Cedric was okay, if a little crispy. Ron was speaking to him again. He had faced the dragon and survived. Things were actually looking up the first time in weeks. Not even Karkaroffs entirely biased score could dampen his spirits. The three of them were just about to

head back up to the castle when Charlie Weasley stopped them and told Harry he was needed back in the champions tent. Ron and Hermione waited outside while Harry went in. A moment later the other three champions entered as well. Fleur and Krum had a few scrapes and bruises but for the most part seemed fine. Cedric, on the other hand, was much more obviously damaged. The entire right side of his face was covered with a thick orange paste. Harrys eyes bulged in surprise. Ron said Cedric had only been a little burned, he didnt say anything about half his face needing mending. Cedric grinned as soon as he saw Harry, making the younger boy feel slightly better. Good one, Harry, he said with a wink. And you, Harry managed to say. Before any more words could be exchanged, Ludo Bagman came bounding into the tent to congratulate them all. He went on to give the date of the second task and explain that the eggs they had collected contained a clue to help them figure out what the task would be. The champions were dismissed, and Harry and Cedric exited the tent together. So that could have gone worse, Cedric said brightly. Says the guy who got a massive burn on his face, Harry replied, eyeing the orange goop Cedric was covered in. Its not as bad as it looks, Cedric told him, placing an affectionate hand on Harrys good arm. Harry looked into Cedrics calm, reassuring eyes and nodded to let the boy know he believed him. It occurred to Harry that they were standing mere feet from where they had shared they first kiss. It also occurred to Harry that they were being watched. Uhm, my friends are, uh are waiting for me, Harry stammered. He gestured at where Ron and Hermione were still standing, very close by. Cedric glanced over at them. Ron smiled and Hermione waved sweetly. Then I should probably let you go, Cedric said. Are we still on for tonight, or has fighting the dragon taken your last shred of nerve? I think Ive got a bit of nerve left, Harry confirmed. Good, Cedric said. Ill see you later then. With a nod and a wave at Harrys friends, Cedric turned and strode off toward the castle. Hermione immediately descended upon Harry. Tonight? she asked excitedly. Whats going on tonight? Er, well, Harry said. Cedric sort of asked me if I would meet him in the entrance hall at eleven. And I sort of told him I would. So what does this mean? Hermione inquired. Is it a date? Harry blanched. The word date hadnt even crossed his mind until Hermione said it. Was it a date? Hed never been on a date before. Even worse, he had no idea how a date between two boys worked. Should he bring Cedric flowers or something? Or would Cedric bring him flowers? Harrys brow scrunched. That didnt sound right somehow, Cedric bringing him flowers. He

should probably shower or something, though. Maybe try and fix his hair. Ron, who seemed to sense how much strain Hermiones line of questioning was putting on his friend, stepped in on Harrys behalf. Blimey, Hermione, he said, he just got done flying his broom against a dragon. Give him a bit of time before you start laying into him with the questions. Fine, fine, Hermione said, waving a hand in surrender. Once again Harry was reminded why it was better to have two best friends than one.

By the time Harry, Ron, and Hermione reached the Owlery, they were chatting like the past few weeks hadnt happened at all. If anything, they were even closer now that there were no secrets between the three of them. After Harry finished his lengthy retelling of his clash with the Horntail for Sirius, he sent the letter off with Pigwidgeon and they all headed back to the Gryffindor common room. It was then that Ron decided to test the tenuous bonds of their newly restored friendship. So, are you gay or what? he blurted. To both boys surprise it was not Harry who shouted in response to the question but Hermione. Ron, hush! she admonished. What? Ron asked innocently. Theres no use pretending we dont all know whats going on, I just thought No, you didnt just think! Hermione interrupted. Of course we all know, but we dont want the rest of the school to! The walls have ears, Ron. Especially at Hogwarts. Ron gaped at her. It was obvious that this thought had never occurred to him. Youre right, he admitted. But we cant just not talk about it. So, what, well talk in secret code or something? Hermione blinked at her own words. Thats actually a pretty good idea. What should we use in place of, you know, it? They both looked at Harry, who stared back blankly. He was stunned by their eagerness to discuss the very secret he had been dreading them discovering. How about Quidditch? Harry suggested. It kind of fits. You know, since its named after Queerditch Marsh. Get it? He smirked at Ron. Queerditch? Ron grinned back sheepishly. Fair enough, he said. So, wait, Harry said. Whats the question then? I guess the question becomes, which team do you play for?

Harry thought carefully about how to phrase his answer with their newly concocted metaphor. Well, Harry said slowly, I guess you could say I play for the boys team. I mean, I wouldnt mind playing for the girls team, I dont think I would hate it or anything. But if I had to choose I would probably say boys team. He gave Ron a sideways glance. Does that bother you? Not really, Ron shrugged. The only reason I said that that thing to you when we had our fight was because I was angry. Whichever team you play for, it doesnt bother me. Then with a grin he added, As long as you dont try riding my broomstick. Harry punched him lightly on the shoulder. Boys are so vulgar, Hermione complained as Harry and Ron threw a few more fake punches. I dont know why I even bother. Ron rolled his eyes at her and began the rest of the way down the rest of the Owlery steps. There are many things youre an expert on, Hermione, but clearly the bonding rituals of teenaged males is not one of them, he pontificated. Clearly, she muttered.

The party was already in full swing when they reached the Gryffindor common room. The food was abundant, the noise was raucous, and the air was sparkling with Filibusters Fireworks. Dean Thomas had done some remarkably good drawings for decorations. Most of them were of Harry and the Horntail, though there a few depicting Cedric with his head ablaze. Hermione tore these down before Harry even had time to react. Harry ate and mingled and laughed with everyone else, thoroughly enjoying the celebration in his honor, but in the back of his mind he was counting down the minutes till eleven. He kept throwing subtle glances at the clock. Either he was checking far too often or time had slowed down because every time he looked it seemed that the clocks hands had barely moved at all. Harry did his best not to worry about the time too much, but he couldnt help himself. While everyone else was distracted by Gryffindors transforming into canaries at random, thanks to Fred and Georges concoctions, Harry sank into an armchair by the fire to reflect on all that had happened to him recently. The Goblet, the fight, Cedric, the dragon; Harry had been through a lot the last few weeks. It was nice to finally have a moment to catch his breath. Its all over though, he though, a lazy smile spreading across his face. The task is done, and the next one isnt for months. Rons speaking with me again. And Cedric. Harry smile widened a little as he thought about Cedric. What are you smiling about? Hermione asked, handing him a cup of punch as she sat in the armchair across from his. Harry eyed the drink suspiciously. This wouldnt happen to be laced with Canary Cream, would it? he asked. Oh, Harry, you see right through me, Hermione quipped, rolling her eyes. Thinking about your

date? Its not a date, Harry said immediately. Its just two people who are romantically interested in each other spending time together. His friend stared at him over her drink with an amused look on her face. Shut up, he finished. I didnt say a word, Hermione laughed. Her demeanor turned more serious and she added, Promise me youll be careful? You worry too much, you know that? Harry told her. Im sure well be fine. Cedric wouldnt have suggested we meet in the entrance hall if he thought we would get caught. Thats not what I meant, Hermione said. I know, Harry replied. Their quiet moment was broken by Ron suddenly rushing over from the other side of the common room. What the hell are you still doing here?!? Ron cried. Uh, I dont know if youve forgotten, Harry said, but were not mad at each other anymore. So this yelling thing has to stop now. I thought you left already, Ron said. Werent you supposed to meet at eleven? What do you mean supposed to meet? Harry asked, utterly bewildered. He took a quick look at the clock. Its only a quarter of. No, Ron answered, holding up his watch-clad wrist. Its a quarter after. That cant be right, Harry said in alarm, rising from his chair. The clock says A horrible awareness dawned on him. Hermione, last night, didnt you say that the clock was. It was running slowly, Hermione finished. Her eyes bulged. Oh, Merlin! Without another word, Harry bolted from the common room, praying with every step that Cedric hadnt given up on him.

Start of Something New

a lack of color

CHAPTER ELEVEN Start of Something New

Harry ran as fast as his legs would carry him. He was exhausted from flying against the dragon, but still he ran. He didnt care about exhaustion, didnt care about the consequences of being caught outside his dorm after hours. Snape himself could pop up and threaten him with detention for the rest of the year; Harry wouldve ignored the malevolent professor and kept running. He had come so far with Cedric, there was no way he was letting it all slip away because of some stupid clock. Stupid, stupid clock, Harry thought as he leapt down several stairs. When I get back to the common room tonight, Im going to smash that damn thing. Into tiny, unrecognizable pieces. Before he knew it, Harry had reached the ground floor. It must have been a record, because he could never remember getting down that many flights of stairs so quickly. The cavernous entrance hall was almost completely dark. And empty. Harry plopped down on the marble staircase, gasping for breath, and contemplated what to do next. He could always call out and see if Cedric was nearby, but then he risked being overheard and as a result terrorized by Peeves. Plus he was already nearly twenty minutes late for their, er, meeting. The odds of Cedric still being there were slim. He was probably better off going back up to his party while there was still a party to go back to. I am going to kill that stupid clock, Harry muttered softly, climbing to his feet. Things couldnt go right for once, nooo, I had to be late because of a stupid, broken, lousy fuc Harry? Harry froze. For a split second he thought it was Filch and that, on top of everything else, he was going to receive a detention as well. Then he realized that not only did the voice sound nothing like Filch, but never in more than three years at Hogwarts had the caretaker called him by his first name. Harrys heart melted as he realized who the voice belonged to. Cedric? he squeaked, squinting around the unlit hall. The older boy appeared out of the darkness nearly a foot away from Harry. The side of his face was still covered in the orange goop hed had on earlier. You waited.

I waited, Cedric replied, smiling uneasily. I was starting to think you wouldnt show. I wouldntve missed this, Harry said, beaming. I didnt even know I was late, the clock in our common room broke so now its off by half an hour. Is that why youre planning on becoming a clock killer? Cedric asked. Well, the damn thing has it coming, Harry insisted. Obviously, Cedric said. The two champions stared nervously at each other in the dimly lit hall. So, now what? Harry blurted. What do you mean? Cedric asked. Well, Harry said, you went through all the trouble of waiting twenty minutes for me to show up Thirty. What? I was waiting for thirty minutes, Cedric explained. His eyes were fixed pointedly on the ceiling. I sort of got here early. Oh, Harry said, blushing. Well, my point is, you waited all that time, you must have something in mind. I mean, were not going to stand in the entrance hall all night, are we? Actually, Cedric said, taking a step closer, there is something I wanted to do. Yeah? Uh-huh. Cedric leaned in, his face inches from Harrys. I really, really want to wash this stuff off my face. Harry gave Cedrics shoulder a gentle shove. You jerk, he teased. I dont know any place where you can wash up that doesnt run the risk of being interrupted. Except one, but its sort of a girls bathroom, and its also sort of haunted, so I guess thats not so true. Wait, Cedric cut in. Did you just say bathroom? Yes, Harry replied, wondering if he had suddenly made some sort of dating faux pas he wasnt aware of. Follow me, Cedric said, heading up the stairs. What? Harry frowned. I dont understand, where are we Come on! Cedric doubled back and grabbed Harrys hand, pulling the younger boy along with him. Harry stopped asking questions at this point. Any questions hed wanted to ask were replaced a singular thought repeating over and over: hes holding my hand! Harry still felt a bit of apprehension, but

the way Cedrics fingers entwined with his own kept him from voicing it. Cedric led them up the stairs until they reached the second floor. As they headed down the corridor, Harry wondered anxiously if they actually were going to Moaning Myrtles bathroom. He wasnt too keen on the idea and was therefore grateful when Cedric ducked behind a tapestry instead. Hidden behind the tapestry was a narrow staircase. They took it and, passing through another at the top, ended up on the fourth floor. Thats where Cedric tackled me last week, Harry thought as they rushed past the familiar side corridor. Had it really been only few days since Cedric pinned him against that wall? Since he stared deeply into Harrys eyes while he held the younger boys face in his hand? Suddenly, Harry became very concerned about the sweatiness of his palm and worried that Cedric might find it unattractive. They took another flight of stairs (where was Cedric taking him to, the Astronomy Tower?) and headed down another corridor. When they passed a statue of a confused-looking wizard with his gloves on the wrong hands, Cedric finally began to slow down. He came to a full stop in front of a plain wooden door. This is it, Cedric said proudly. Harry stared. A door? he asked. Ah, but its whats behind the door that counts. Okay, Harry said, feeling about as bewildered as the wizard whose statue they had just passed. So open it then. Cedric nodded, then turned to the door and uttered, Pine fresh, which did nothing to abate Harrys confusion. Nothing, that is, until the door opened and he saw what was inside. The entire room was constructed of white marble and lit softly by an ornate candle-filled chandelier. In the middle was a sunken pit that looked like a swimming pool and, judging by the diving board on one side, very well could have been. It wasnt until he noticed the many golden taps lined around it that Harry realized it wasnt a swimming pool at all but a bath. Is this a bathroom? Harry wondered. Prefects bathroom, to be precise, Cedric told him. Come on in. Is it okay for me to be here? Harry said uncertainly. I wouldnt want to get you into trouble. For you Id risk it, Cedric replied with a wink, but Ill lock the door, just to be safe. While Cedric set to bolting the door behind them, Harry had another look around. There was a painting on one wall that he hadnt noticed at first, a blonde mermaid who was currently dozing on a rock. He also found, on closer examination, that each of the baths golden taps had a different jewel set into the handle. Want to try one? Cedric asked when he was finished with the door. What do you mean? Harry asked back curiously. Are they different? Cedric grinned and leaned over to turn one of the taps. A jet of water poured out along with

hundreds of tiny bubbles that looked like translucent pearls. Another tap let loose a stream of huge pink and blue ones the size of Harrys head. Thats awesome! Harry said with a tad too much enthusiasm. He hoped Cedric hadnt noticed his overzealousness, and attempted to distract him by asking, So all of them are different? Absolutely, Cedric answered. Go ahead and check them out. So Harry did. They both spent the next few minutes turning on one tap after another until the tub was filled with an assortment of bubbles in every shape, size, and color. While Harry thought the most entertaining tap was the one with the jet that bounced off the waters surface in huge arcs, Cedric preferred one which let out a thick white foam that he insisted, to Harrys disbelief, you could actually float on. Youre having me on, Harry said. Theres no way it could support your weight. Are you saying Im fat? Cedric joked, causing Harry to flush with embarrassment. Youre welcome to test it yourself, if you like. I didnt exactly come prepared for a swim, Harry stated. I mean, I dont have a suit or anything. Who says you need one? Cedric asked, smiling suggestively. Harry blushed even harder. Uhm, I dont really Harry stammered. I mean, Im not sure if-if its a good idea. Harry, relax, Cedric said, placing a comforting hand on the younger boys shoulder. I was only teasing. No pressure. Right, Harry replied. No pressure. Okay, so, Cedric said, rubbing his hands together officiously. First order of business: I need to wash my face. Could you grab me a towel? Theyre in that corner over there. Harry nodded, then got up and headed for the corner Cedric gestured to, where he grabbed a towel from a neatly stacked pile. By the time he got back to the oversized tub Cedric had scrubbed away almost all of the ointment Madam Pomfrey had applied to his face. The skin underneath was slightly pink but otherwise completely cured. It made Harrys stomach twinge to think what the burn must have looked before it healed. Here, Harry said, offering the towel hed picked up as he sat next to Cedric. Thanks, Cedric said. He used the towel to wipe away the last few remnants of dried orange paste and dry off any bits of himself that hed gotten wet in the process of washing up. When he finally finished he turned to Harry and asked expectantly, Well? How do I look? You look great! Harry exclaimed. Loads better. Not that you didnt look fine before, even with that weird goop. I mean if anyone could pull off having a bunch of orange goop on their face and still looking good it would definitely be you, not that I would recommend doing it every day but Suddenly there was another set of lips on Harrys, halting any further rambling about Cedric starting a new trend of wearing orange gunk on your face. The kiss was quick, and left Harry breathless.

What was? Harry started before realizing he couldnt remember enough words at the moment to finish his sentence. Smiling isnt the only thing I can do to keep you from babbling, Cedric answered. He then added, Plus I really wanted to kiss you again. Oh, Harry said simply. Okay. With that, Harry reached over and kissed Cedric. It was soft and quick, and immediately followed by another, deeper one. Cedric leaned into him, wrapping his arms around the younger boys back as their kiss intensified. Harry brought a hand up to cup Cedrics face. Ah! Cedric cried, pulling away quickly. Sorry! Harry said. Are you okay? What happened? Im fine, Cedric said. I guess my face is still a little sensitive though. Oh, brilliant, Harry groaned. Im so sorry. Its okay, Cedric told him. Besides, we should probably stop anyway. Stop? Harry said. Am I I mean, is it not good? No-no, no, the kissing was excellent, Cedric said. But I think we need to have a talk about what what it means, if anything. I mean is this is this, something? Well, Id definitely like to be, er, something, Harry said. That is, if you would. Oh, Id definitely, definitely like it to be something, Cedric assured him. He wrapped an arm around the other boy, pulling him close. I like you, Harry. I like you, too, Harry said, resting his head on Cedrics shoulder. I think Ive liked you ever since that stupid Quidditch match last year. When you visited me in the hospital wing? I remember, Cedric said. I was so scared when you woke up, I didnt know what you would think of me being there. To be honest, I was kind of confused, Harry told him. At the same time, though, I was happy to see you. Especially after I heard that you tried to call off the match. That was really great of you. Well, it was an accident, you know? Cedric said. Yeah, yeah, Harry muttered. If I hadnt fallen off my broom, it would have been a fair game, Ive certainly heard that enough times. Thats not what I meant, Cedric asserted. The accident wasnt you falling off the broom; it was me getting the Snitch. I dont understand, Harry replied. Well, you remember what it was like that day, right? Cedric said. It was horrible out, torrential downpour. I could barely see the other players. It was only by sheer luck that I spotted the Snitch. It was moving slowly, for a Snitch anyway. I guess its wings were bogged down by the rain or something. I didnt know where you were, I didnt even give myself time to look, I just thought,

this is my chance! So I went for it and dove down after the thing. A few seconds before I reached it I heard this noise, but everything was so confused and I was moving so fast that I just figured it was a clap of thunder or something. It wasnt until after I caught the Snitch that I realized it was the crowd crying out. I looked around and and I saw you falling. You were already slowing down, because of that spell Dumbledore did, so I knew you would be okay, but to see you falling like that . Cedric paused. His voice had become slightly unfocused, like he was lost in his own memories. He cleared his throat before continuing. The point is if I had taken the time to look around and see where you were before going after the Snitch, I would have seen you fall. And if I had seen you fall, I would have gone after you instead. It was only by accident that I didnt. I had no idea, Harry said softly. No one does, Cedric told him. Thats why I snuck out to visit you that night. I felt so horrible for not seeing you in time. I had to make sure you were okay. Im glad you did, Harry said. But then why did you avoid me afterwards? I was scared, Cedric admitted. I was afraid you wouldnt feel the same way about me as I felt about you and preferred not to find out if you didnt. I thought you might even forget our visit. You know, think the whole thing was a dream or something. I was stunned when you brought it up at the World Cup. I remember, Harry said. Merlin, that night was terrible. I was so worried about well, everyone really. But you especially. Me too, Cedric said. I wanted to try and find you but my dad confined me to our tent. When he finally got back and told me that they found you and your friends under the Dark Mark I didnt know whether to be relieved or more worried. I still cant believe. Harry trailed off, not wanting to sound too pathetic. What? Cedric asked. Harry shook his head slightly. No, tell me. Cant believe what? I just cant believe you were worried about me, Harry said finally. I cant believe that were here. I guess I just cant believe you like me. Why is it so hard to believe? Cedric asked. Because, Harry said, youre Cedric, the Hufflepuff Hottie. Oh, please tell me people dont really call me that, Cedric laughed. Its true, though, Harry insisted. He pulled away so he could look Cedric in the eye. Youre handsome and popular and well-liked, and Im just Harry. Cedric stared. Youre kind of a dope, you know that? Its been brought to my attention, yes, Harry replied honestly. That doesnt make me any less right. I mean, you dont even know anything about me. Except the usual famous Harry Potter dragonshit that everyone else does.

Is that what you think this is? Cedric asked. You think I only like you because of your scar and your past? Do you? Do you only like me because Im the handsome and popular Hufflepuff Hottie? the older boy asked dryly. No, Harry responded immediately, of course not. Exactly, Cedric said. He ran a hand through Harrys unruly black hair. Harry leaned into the touch. Its true, we dont know each other that well yet. But we will. Come here. Cedric wrapped his arms around Harry and pulled him close. Well start slow, and work our way up, okay? Harry nodded against Cedrics chest. Okay then. So whats your favorite color? You really are starting slow, arent you? Harry marveled. Just answer the question, Cedric replied. Harry pondered the question seriously before finally answering, I dont know. I like them all, really. Oh come on! Cedric cried. Thats cheating! Im not cheating, Harry said. I just dont have one favorite. Whats yours then, if its so easy to choose? Green, Cedric replied without delay. Because its the color of leaves in spring, which my favorite season. And its the color of the Irish, who totally earned the World Cup this year. I wanted to magick my hair green for the match but I wasnt of age at the time so I couldnt. Im glad you didnt, Harry chuckled. You would have looked ridiculous. Yeah, but it wouldve been the festive kind of ridiculous, Cedric said. Also your eyes. My eyes are festively ridiculous? No, theyre green, Cedric corrected. Thats a good enough reason for it to be my favorite color all by itself. I think if I had to choose one color Id pick green, too, Harry said. Cheater, Cedric groused. No, really, Harry protested. I love color, any color, but green. Its probably the one I have the strongest connection with. I still remember when I got my first letter from Hogwarts. It was written in this emerald green ink. I had never seen a letter written in anything other than black, or maybe blue. But this was green. The same color as my eyes. And my mothers. Right away I knew it was something special, and I was right. That letter told me more about who I was in one page than my aunt and uncle did in my entire life. It took me away from them and brought me here, to Hogwarts, where for the first time I was actually happy. So, yeah, if I had to pick, Id pick green. Cedric smiled softly. See? he said. We have something in common already.

Yeah, Harry agreed. I guess we do.

They talked like that for hours, finding out their similarities and differences. It wasnt until the sky behind the white linen curtains started to lighten that the two champions decided it was best to pack it in. Cedric insisted on walking Harry back to his common room even though his own was in the opposite direction. He held Harrys hand the entire way there. They lingered a while in front of the sleeping portrait of the Fat Lady, giving each other a few too many goodbye kisses. You know if we stay here too long people are going to start coming out for breakfast, Cedric said, arms wrapped around Harrys waist. So well give them a show with their meal, Harry replied. He tried to stifle a yawn, but didnt do a very good job. Cedric laughed. You need to go sleep, Cedric told him. Were both going to be exhausted tomorrow. Today. Whatever. I know, Harry said. He rested his forehead on Cedrics chest for a moment, wishing he could just not move for an hour or two. Harry, Cedric whispered. Dont fall asleep on me now. Harry groaned. All right, all right, he grumbled. One more kiss. Cedric complied, leaning in and kissing Harry deeply. Then he followed it up with another quick peck. And one more, just for good measure. Okay, I really have to go this time, Cedric said, pulling away reluctantly. Ill see you at breakfast. Wait, one last thing, Harry called. I just remembered. Hermione said something to me yesterday about you telling people off for wearing those Support Cedric Diggory badges. Cedric grinned sheepishly. Yeah, he said, I didnt want to run the risk of you seeing them and getting upset. You dont have to do that, Harry said. Yeah, Cedric replied. I do. He gave a small wave and headed back toward the stairs. Harry waited until Cedric was completely out of sight before waking the Fat Lady. It took some effort but he was finally able to rouse the painting enough for her to understand the password and let him into the tower. There were a few stragglers from the party who had fallen asleep in various positions around the common room. When Harry passed the clock on the way to his dormitory, he

smirked. I guess Ill spare you, he thought to the clock. For now, at least.

Chapter End Notes

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There's Always a Woman

a lack of color

CHAPTER TWELVE There's Always a Woman

Harry, Hermione whispered softly. Harry! Mumnifummnm? Harry replied sleepily. Harry, wake up! Hermione said, shaking the boy forcefully. Harry bolted upright in his seat. Present! he cried. Yes, we can see that, Mr. Potter, Professor McGonagall said from the front of the classroom. Harry looked around blearily and found the professor glaring at him. In fact, every head was turned toward him. Harry wouldve thought hed be used to this by now, but it still annoyed him to find an entire room staring in his direction. In this case, it was the unfortunate side effect of falling asleep and then waking up so abruptly in the middle of class. Now, McGonagall continued, if you dont mind, I would like to continue telling the rest of your classmates about Cross-Species Transformation Spells. Yes, Professor, Harry responded obediently. His face was a deeper shade of red than the tie he wore bearing Gryffindors colors. Ron leaned toward him. Dude, he whispered, what was that? Harrys been having a few too many late nights, if you ask me, Hermione said. I didnt, Ron responded. Quiet, both of you, Harry hissed. I dont want McGonagall to yell again. Yeah, okay, Hermione said, like Im really going to be yelled at by Professor McGonagall. Miss Granger, hush, McGonagall admonished. Yes, Professor, Hermione said sweetly. As soon as the professors back was turned she proceeded to poke Ron, who was stifling laughter. Harry did his best to stay focused for the rest of the lesson but he could feel his attention drifting. Not that he did ask, but Hermione was right; he had been having a lot of late nights recently. Ever

since their first date (yes, Harry was able to call it a date now with only a minimal amount of awkwardness), he and Cedric had been sneaking away every chance they could to get together. Unfortunately, the only time they could meet inconspicuously was in the dead of night. At first they only saw each other every few days, not wanting to risk getting caught, but soon it became hard to stay away for so long. Lately it felt like every night they were meeting in the prefects bathroom. They would talk for hours, discussing everything from the frivolity of their obsession with Quidditch to the seriousness of Harrys childhood abuse. Lulls in conversation were filled with a kiss or two or fifteen, but nothing more than that. They were both perfectly content to take things slow. On most nights they stopped after an hour or two, though they were reluctant to do so. Cedric would walk Harry back to his dorm and they would remain there for a few more minutes before saying a final goodbye. On some nights, they got so caught up in their conversation that they didnt notice the time until the sun had almost risen. Last night, Harry hadnt gotten to bed until a little after four, and now he was paying the price for it. Its completely worth it, though, Harry thought with a sleepy grin. He learned a lot about Cedric on their nights together. Cedric loved spicy foods. For almost a year when he was younger he refused to eat anything without first adding some pepper to it, which resulted in the name of his first dog. He had two. The first was a female Cocker Spaniel named Pepper thatd been with him since she was a pup. The second was a male Labrador Retriever that followed him home one day, earning it the apt name Stray. He hated the nickname Ced because its what his dad called him, especially when he was boasting about what a perfect son Cedric was (meaning all the time). He chewed his bottom lip when he was nervous or stressed, to the point where, on occasion, hed broken the skin. Cedrics favorite subjects were History of Magic and Muggle Studies. He wanted to go into Muggle relations after leaving Hogwarts. He told everyone it was because he got along with people so well, which would be an asset for such a career. It was true, but only half his reason. The other half was that he loved Muggle culture, because when he was little he had a best friend named Nathan who was a Muggle. Cedric actually begged his parents not to send him to Hogwarts so they wouldnt be separated. They bought him an owl instead. He named it Bowman. Harry relayed his own share of personal details as well. He told Cedric that his favorite thing about magic was the power of flight. He never felt freer than when he was flying and found anything with wings (dragons, hippogriffs, fairies, the Golden Snitch, etc.) exceptionally beautiful. Harry also revealed the identity of his previous crush, Cho Chang, the Seeker of the Ravenclaw Quidditch team. Cedric was oddly quiet when he brought this bit of information up, but Harry figured it would be uncomfortable to hear the person youre dating to bring up their former crush and he quickly changed the subject. Harry even confessed that he was taught about puberty when he was twelve by Hermione. She had taken it upon herself when she came to the accurate conclusion that there was no one else to teach him. (Ron tried, but his crude attempt at a lesson had left Harry with more questions than answers.) She was also the one to buy him his first stick of deodorant. There were certain parts of his life that Harry was reluctant to divulge. Though they touched the subject briefly, Harry didnt go into details on his history with Voldemort beyond what everyone in the wizarding world already knew. Also, Harry was reluctant to tell Cedric about Sirius. Even though they had grown closer over the past few weeks, he wasnt sure how Cedric would take the truth about Sirius Black and Peter Pettigrew. To be honest, he didnt even know if Cedric would believe him. Ultimately, Harry decided to wait to reveal his godfathers true nature, at least until he

was sure that Cedric wouldnt think he was crazy. Despite the disruption of Harrys outburst, class finished a few minutes early. Harry managed to overcome his fatigue and Transfigure his guinea pig into guinea fowl with only a minor amount of difficulty. The bell was minute from ringing and he and Ron were partaking in a rather childish duel using some of Fred and Georges joke wands when McGonagall announced the Yule Ball. It was hard to understand everything the professor said over Lavender Browns obnoxious giggling (Harry felt extremely sorry for whatever poor sod ended up with her), but he got the general idea of it. The Yule Ball was a traditional part of the Triwizard Tournament. It would be held on Christmas Day, hence the name Yule Ball, and required that dress robes be worn, thus explaining why they had been told to bring them this year. Harry started tuning McGonagall out as she went on about standards of behavior and Gryffindor students needing to be exemplary. He was already thinking about how he could maintain a low profile so he and Cedric could sneak off early while everyone else was distracted by the festivities. Harry suddenly realized how fast Christmas was approaching. Should he get something for Cedric? His instincts said yes. But what if he did get Cedric a present but Cedric didnt get him anything? Harryd look rather foolish then. Still, it was better than running the risk of Cedric giving him something and Harry having nothing to give in return. All confusing thoughts of Christmas and gift-giving came to a halt as the bell rang and students began filing out of the classroom. Potter, Professor McGonagall said over the crowd, a word, if you please. Harry groaned. Hermione gave him a look that clearly said this is what you get for falling asleep then goofing off in class. She and Ron shuffled out with the rest of their class while Harry trudged up to the professors desk alone. Are you feeling all right, Potter? she asked once the room was empty. Excuse me? Harry replied. Are you feeling all right? McGonagall repeated. You seem to be having difficulty since the first task. Youre tired, unfocused. Is the tournament putting too much of a strain on you? Harry was thrown by his seemingly harsh professors concern. Obviously McGonagall had a softer side he wasnt aware of. Now Harry felt guilty for assuming she had called him up to tell him off. Im fine, professor, really, Harry assured her. The first task took a lot out of me, but Im sure Ill be back to normal soon. Im glad to hear it, McGonagall said. Now, there is a matter I need to discuss with you, concerning the Yule Ball. As you may already know, the champions and their partners Partners? Harry asked. Your dance partners, McGonagall elaborated. Dance partners? Harry said. I dont really dance. Yes, you do, McGonagall pressed. Thats what Im telling you. The champions and their partners open the ball. But, professor, Harry said pleadingly. I-I cant dance. Really. I have two left feet. Five, even.

Im clumsy, and entirely ungraceful. I fear for those who would have to dance around me. Someone could lose a toe. Im touched by your concern, Potter, McGonagall said drolly. However, it is a risk we will have to take. This is a traditional part of the Triwizard Tournament. You are a Hogwarts champion, and as such will do all that the title demands. But Professor You heard me, Potter, McGonagall said flatly. The sternness Harry was used to had returned to her voice. Harry nodded in defeat, and excused himself from the classroom.

That night, while they filled the tub in the Prefects bathroom, Harry told Cedric about his embarrassing incident in Transfiguration. The boys rolled up their pant legs and sat side by side with their bare feet in the water. So you didnt even get yelled at for falling asleep in class? Cedric asked once Harry was finished. McGonagall must really like you. I guess, Harry replied, watching his feet swish about under the waters surface. If she really liked me she wouldnt make me dance at the stupid ball. Not true, Cedric insisted. I got the same speech from Professor Sprout today. She said it was my duty as a champion and a Hufflepuff, or something like that. This is so stupid, Harry said. I didnt even want to be a champion, and now I have to jump through all these hoops just because someone else entered my name. I probably wont even be able to get a date. Are you kidding? Cedric asked. Come on! Youre Harry Potter. And youre a school champion. And on top of all that youre gorgeous. Harry smiled. Cedric wrapped an arm around him and pulled the younger boy close. I promise, youll be beating the girls off with a stick! Or else I will, to keep them away from my boyfriend. A warm feeling spread through Harrys chest. Did you just call me your boyfriend? Yeah, Cedric said. Why? Nothing, Harry replied. Its just thats the first time youve called me that. Oh. Cedric paused, then asked hesitantly, Is that okay? That I said it? Harry nodded. I like the sound of it, he admitted.

Well, I like saying it, Cedric said, placing a soft kiss on the top of Harrys head. Merlin, I would love to take you, he muttered. To the ball, you mean? Harry inquired. Er, right. Take you to the ball, Cedric said unconvincingly. Thats what I meant. Dirty, Harry snickered, catching the gist of Cedrics jest. I want you to take me, too. To the ball, that is, he amended. Cedric grinned. I dont think its an option though. Have you given any thought to who you might actually ask? Uhm, a bit, I guess, Cedric replied. What about you? Not really, Harry said. Ive never asked someone out before. Ive only ever been asked, he added, nudging Cedric playfully. I dont even know what to say. Its not as hard as it seems, Cedric said reassuringly. Just be yourself and youll do fine. Anyway, youre making too big a deal about this whole thing. Youve faced a Hungarian Horntail. The Yule Ball should be no sweat. Its only a dance. Harry muttered something faintly in response. What was that? I dont know how to dance, Harry repeated more audibly. Cedric was quiet for a minute before saying, I sort of know how to dance. Thanks, rub it in, Harry grumbled. No, Harry, Cedric said. He pressed his mouth to the Gryffindors ear and whispered softly, I meant, I can teach you to dance. Oh, Harry said. An irrepressible grin spread across his face at the thought of dancing with Cedric. Uhm, okay. Then he realized something. Wait. Where would you teach me? Not here, right? Hm, good point, Cedric replied, taking a look around. A bathrooms not really the best place to learn how to dance. Oh well. Well find someplace. The ball is ages away. No reason to worry about it right now. He smiled a bit mischievously, then leaned in to give Harry a quick peck. What was that for? Harry asked. Cedric shrugged. I just like you. Oh yeah? Harry replied, pulling the older boy in for another kiss. And for some time Harry surrendered to the feeling of Cedrics lips against his own.

Over the next several days all anyone could talk about was the Yule Ball. The girls were all discussing what theyd be wearing and who they wanted to go with. The boys were commiserating over having to pluck up the courage to ask one of the girls. Harry himself had yet to ask anyone. Part of the reason was because there was no one he wanted to asked, and all the girls who asked him were complete strangers. The other reason for his trepidation was Cedric. It felt wrong somehow to be asking out a girl when they were together, even though he knew it didnt mean anything. The ball itself had become sort of a taboo subject between the boys. After their initial conversation the day it was announced, Cedric became increasingly uncomfortable every time Harry mentioned it. Especially when Harry tried to find out if Cedric had asked anyone. The older boy never said anything but Harry gathered from his evasion that the answer was yes, he had. The anxious younger champion knew he shouldnt be so worried about his newly titled boyfriend having a date for the ball. It wasnt as though Cedric was likely to dump him for some girl. Cedric once revealed to Harry in one of their more personal conversations that he had no interest in girls whatsoever. He tried having sex with a girl once in his fourth year. He refused to go into details or reveal the girls identity, only saying that it was something he was not interested in repeating. Harry was tempted to ask Cedric if he had any sexual history with other males, but decided that he didnt want to know. Not yet, anyway. His concerns about the approaching Yule Ball were even further compounded by the fact that he and Cedric hadnt started his dance lessons yet. Harry spent every spare moment poring over the Marauders Map in search of somewhere private enough for two boys to practice dancing together. As hard as he looked, he couldnt find any place large enough that would guarantee them not being discovered. With all of the work and worry he was putting into it, Harry was starting to feel that the Yule Ball was even more bothersome than the first task.

The end of term was fast approaching and Harry still hadnt managed the nerve to wrangle a date. He was sitting at breakfast one morning with Ron and Hermione, playing idly with his eggs, when he wondered out loud, Do you think theres a rule against two champions attending the Yule Ball together? Why, are you planning on asking Fleur Delacour out as well? Hermione replied absently, keeping her eyes fixed on the open book in front of her. Ron frowned. He was still rather sore from being turned down by the French champion the previous night. Very funny, Hermione, he sneered. You give a whole new meaning to the phrase cleverest witch in our year. He continued under his breath, Or something that rhymes with witch, anyway. This last bit was not quite muted enough to evade being overheard, and prompted Hermione to kick Ron under the table. She closed her book and turned toward Harry. You know you two cant go together, Hermione told him.

I do, Harry answered. That doesnt make deciding who else to ask any easier. What about Cho? Ron asked, rubbing his freshly bruised shin. You used to fancy her, didnt you? Harry thought about this. He did used to fancy her. Not so much anymore, obviously. But was it okay for him to ask someone he once had feelings for now that he had Cedric? Especially since Cedric knew how Harry used to feel about Cho. Of course, the older boy wasnt exactly being forthcoming about who he had invited. It might even serve him right for Harry to ask the girl Cedric knew he once had a crush on. In the end, Harry decided to go for it. There was certainly no harm in asking, and even if she turned him down, its not like it mattered. He still had Cedric. He said a quick goodbye to Ron and Hermione then set off in search of Cho. It didnt take long to find her. Harry was so preoccupied wondering what he would say when he found her that he almost walked right past her. Cho was coming down the marble staircase with a group of friends while Harry was hurrying up it. Cho! he said, coming back down the stairs after her. Cho turned. Hello, Harry, she said, smiling. She knows my name, Harry thought. Thats a good sign. Could I have a word with you? he asked. Chos friends giggled, making Harry understand why Hermione hated the Viktorias so much. Sure, Cho replied, then followed him to one side of the staircase, away from her friends. How are you? she asked kindly. Good, Harry replied. Looking forward to the break. And you? The same, Cho answered. Have you asked anyone to the ball yet? Blimey, shes making this easy, Harry thought confidently. Actually, thats what I wanted to talk to you about, Harry said. I was wondering if youd go with me. To the ball. Cho didnt say anything. She simply stared at Harry like hed spoken in an entirely different language. For a moment Harry wondered if hed accidentally slipped into Parseltongue without realizing it. Harry, Im going with Cedric, she said at last. Harrys insides plummeted. This wasn't at all the reaction he'd been expecting. Even a flat out "no" would have been better. Cedric? His boyfriend? And Cho? The girl he used to like? She had to be joking. But from the way she was staring, Harry knew she wasn't. Oh, he replied. For reasons he couldnt fully grasp at the moment, Harry felt absolutely mortified and wanted nothing more than to crawl under a rock and die. Okay. Uhm I guess Ill see you around then. He turned to walk as steadily as he could up the rest of the stairs but Cho grabbed his arm.

Wait, she said. Although Harry wanted to do anything but wait, he obeyed. Cedric didnt tell you that hes taking me? No, Harry said abrasively. Why should he? He didnt so then you must not. Cho blinked. Im sorry, Harry, will you excuse me? Harry nodded mutely. Cho smiled at him, then turned and hurried down the stairs. So, it wasnt exactly how Harry pictured asking a girl out for the first time. For one thing, he never thought shed already have agreed to go out with his boyfriend. Harry didnt know which made him angrier, the fact that he had just embarrassed himself in front of Cho, or that Cedric had asked her out when he knew Harry used to like her. And why did she think Cedric would have told him? Had Cedric told her about their situation? Why wouldnt he inform Harry if he had? All in all, the encounter left Harry about as confused and upset as when he first realized he had feelings for the Hufflepuff Hottie.

Harry didnt speak again until lunch, when he filled Ron and Hermione in on what happened. They agreed Chos behavior was strange but, probably responding to Harrys demeanor, did not press the subject further. Instead, Hermione came up with some suggestions as to who he should ask instead. In between afternoon classes, Harry managed to ask Parvati Patil, who immediately said yes. He even got her to ask her sister, Padma, if shed go with Ron. He spent the entire day avoiding Cedric. At dinner that night, Harrys meal was interrupted by a tiny owl with golden colored feathers swooping down and dropping a note on his plate. Harry picked up the note, opened it and read the hastily scrawled words.

Tonight. The bathroom. Usual time. Ill explain everything. Please.

You should go, Hermione said after Harry showed her and Ron the note. Ron, who was in much better spirits now that he had a date for the ball, agreed with Hermione. At least hear him out, Ron said. Besides, Hermione added, I need you to go. Harry glanced up at her, puzzled. She smiled. You still have to give him his S.P.E.W. badge. Harry stared at the piece of parchment in his hands. The words were written in green ink. He nodded, then folded the paper neatly and put it in his pocket.

By the time Harry reached the prefects bathroom, Cedric was already waiting. The tub was not filled, which was probably an indication of the tense atmosphere of their meeting. Cedric smiled sheepishly as Harry closed the door behind him. You came, Cedric said. Harry nodded. Im glad you did. The boys stared awkwardly at each other for a minute. So, Cho tells me you spoke with her today, Cedric said finally. Yes, Harry replied bitterly. The anger he had felt early started to rise up again. Why? he asked. Why did you ask her, after I told you I liked her? Its more complicated than that, Harry, Cedric told him. Besides, what should it matter? You dont still like her. Do you? No, Harry responded immediately. What do you mean its complicated? Cedric sighed. Remember when I told you about that girl that I was with in my fourth year? he asked, eyes downcast. The one that I tried to to be with? It was Cho. Harrys stomach lurched. And now youre taking her to the ball, he said. Its not like that, Cedric argued. Cho and I are just friends. When I was in my fourth year, I started to worry that I was that I might be gay. I knew Cho liked me, and I thought she was nice, so I asked her out. Because I wanted to be sure. We dated for a while, and it was fun. She made me happy. But I still felt like there was something missing. Some spark. After a few months she said we should that she wanted to have sex. I think she knew there was something wrong. She thought that if we had sex, then maybe it would, I dunno fix it. I thought it would, too. Fix it. Fix me. So I said yes. Then when we actually I tried, I just I couldnt. We were right in the middle and I couldnt. Cedric swallowed, hard. The next breath he drew was shaky. She told me it was all right, that it didnt matter. Then the next day she asked me if I might be gay. And I started to cry. I was terrified that she would tell everyone. But she didnt. She just she just held me. And she told me that it was okay. He sniffed and wiped his eyes on his sleeve. Shes the only person who knows about me, other than you, Ron, and Hermione. Until you came along, I never had any reason to tell. I know I should have told you about her, but when you said you used to like her, I didnt know how you would react. I know what you mean, Harry said, his own secret about Sirius Black flashed across his mind. I didnt mean to hurt you, Harry, Cedric said. I never wanted to do that. Im so sor Before the word was fully formed, Harrys arms were wrapped around Cedrics waist and he was muttering, Its okay, into the older boys chest. Im sorry I didnt give you the benefit of the doubt, Harry said. Youve certainly earned it. Thank you, Cedric replied. He wrapped his arms around Harry and pulled the younger boy closer. He grinned. Hey, Harry? Is there something in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?

Actually, theres something in my pocket, Harry answered. Oh, Cedric said flatly. What is it? Your badge for S.P.E.W., Harry explained, pulling it out and handing it to Cedric. You know, Hermiones free the house-elves club? She asked me to bring it to you. Sort of her way of encouraging me to come tonight. Remind me to thank her, Cedric said. It occurred to Harry that he wasnt referring to the badge. The boys embraced again and fell silent. After a few moments, Cedric started swaying them slowly back and forth. Harry? he said. Yes? This is sort of like dancing, Cedric said. I dont know what I was so worried about, Harry replied. I just wish we could find somewhere to actually practice. Cedric laughed. We could always ask a house-elf, he said, flashing his S.P.E.W. badge. They probably know every inch of this castle. Harry stopped swaying. A thought had suddenly come to him. Is something wrong? Cedric asked. No, Harry said. I just got a brilliant idea, actually. What is it? Harry leaned up and captured Cedrics mouth with his own. Ill tell you later, he mumbled against the older boys lips. Cedric nodded, and kissed Harry again. Everything else could wait.

Dancing Through Life

a lack of color

CHAPTER THIRTEEN Dancing Through Life

Harry daydreamed all through History of Magic the next morning. This wasnt entirely unusual for him, especially on the last day of classes before Christmas break. The only difference was that Harry had a specific subject to focus on. He was trying to decide when he should to enact his plan. If he waited until Cedric could go with him, itd have to wait until tomorrow or the next day. Maybe it would be better to go without him anyway. If his idea didnt pan out, Harry didnt want to have Cedric be disappointed. The young champion was so busy thinking about his own personal task that he didnt notice class was over until Ron tapped him on the shoulder. Lets go, mate, Ron said. I should go now, Harry realized as he followed Ron and Hermione out of the History of Magic classroom. There was a break before Charms. If he didnt do it now, he wouldnt be able to until lunch or, even worse, after dinner. And then Harryd have to sit through a whole session of Double Potions with lingering doubts about his plan weighing heavily on his mind. While Ron and Hermione headed for Gryffindor Tower , Harry wandered off in the opposite direction, back toward the marble staircase that led to the ground floor. Harry? Hermione called after him. Where are you going? Theres something I need to do, Harry told her. You both can go on ahead without me. Ill be back before Charms. Are you sure? Ron asked. We could come with you. Harry was about to tell them that, yes, he was sure, he would be fine on his own, when he noticed the looks on their faces. They looked almost hopeful. Like they wanted him to invite them along. Harry was aware that hed been spending less time with his friends since he and Cedric began seeing each other. He just hadnt thought about how it might be affecting them. Judging from their demeanors, they seemed to miss him. And, now that he thought about it, Harry certainly missed them. As happy as Harry was with Cedric, Hermione and Ron were still his first and best friends. They deserved better than that. You know, he said finally, I think I could use the company. Ron and Hermione smiled, and the three began walking together. So what is this secret mission, anyway? Ron wondered as they proceeded down the stairs.

Well, Harry began, you know the Yule Ball is coming up. Yes, Ron and Hermione both mumbled, shooting daggers at each other. They were still at odds over the ball, with Hermione refusing to divulge her dates identity. Right, moving on, Harry said quickly. I told Cedric that I dont really know how to dance, and he promised that hed teach me. The problem is he cant exactly do it in the prefects bathroom. Im glad you realize that, said Hermione. As they came to the ground floor, Harry went left and headed through the door next to the marble staircase. Ron and Hermione followed as he led them down another flight of stairs. And so, Harry continued, Ive been spending every minute I can get searching for a place. Harry, isnt this the way to the kitchens? Ron interrupted. Spot on, Ron, Harry replied, grinning at his inadvertent rhyme. Ive looked and looked all over the Marauders Map, but I havent been able to locate anywhere we can use. I was on the verge of giving up when it dawned on me. I know exactly who to ask about the castle. Who? Hermione asked as they approached the fruit bowl painting that concealed the kitchens entrance. Harry turned to her and smiled. Dobby, he answered simply. Harry reached up and tickled the pear in the silver bowl. The tiny fruit giggled and quaked before emitting a sharp popping sound and turning into a doorknob. Harry twisted it and pulled, holding the door for his two friends. Ron and Hermione passed through the opening, with Harry close behind. Within seconds Harry was greeted by a house-elf wearing a tea cozy as a hat wrapping its arms around his waist. Harry Potter, sir! the tiny creature squealed. Dobby never thought he would be seeing you again so soon! Its good to see you, too, Dobby, Harry replied as he attempted to pry the elfs long fingers off his robes. How have you been doing? How kind of Harry Potter to ask! Dobby exclaimed, his eyes watering slightly with barely contained joy. Dobby is doing very well. Very, very well! He is looking forwards to his first ever Christmas at Hogwarts! We house-elves is starting to prepare already! Outwardly, Harry smiled at the elfs enthusiasm. However, all of Dobbys talk about the holidays rapid approach only reminded Harry that he still hadnt decided what to do about Cedric and Christmas. Perhaps he would ask Hermione later what she thought he should do. For now, he had other things to worry about. Thats great, Dobby, Harry said. Listen, I wanted to ask you something. A bit of a favor, actually. Dobby would be honored to perform any favor Harry Potter should ask of him! Dobby cried, hopping from foot to foot eagerly. Dobby would walk on hot coals if Harry Potter was asking him to!

That really wont be necessary, Harry told him forcefully. I just wanted to ask you something about the castle. You see, my friend Cedric and I Cedric? Dobby interrupted. Is you meaning to say Cedric Diggory? Er, yeah, Harry replied, taken aback, I am, actually. If he is friends with Harry Potter, Dobby said in awe, then he must be an even greater wizard than Dobby was thinking. Wait a minute, how do you know Harry, Hermione cut in. Weve only got so much time here. Right, Harry replied, brushing the elfs strange revelation aside. What I was going to say was, we sort of have to, er, practice something. For the tournament, he added hastily. It was almost true. We need a space for this, somewhere with complete privacy. Ive looked, but I cant seem to find anywhere that guarantees we wont be found. Is there someplace you can think of that we could use? Dobby pondered this for a moment. It was a long shot to begin with, so Harry wasnt expecting much. Still, it was also his last hope. If Dobby couldnt come up with something, Harry may never learn how to dance. He was starting to consider faking sick on the night of the Yule Ball when the house-elf finally answered. There is one place not many people is knowing about, Dobby said. We house-elves calls it the Come and Go Room, or the Room of Requirement. Room of Requirement? Hermione repeated. Ive never heard of it before. It is very much a secret room, Dobby told them. Sometimes it is there, and sometimes it is not. Peoples can only enter when they has a real needing of it. When they do, the room is always having what they needs. Dobby, Harry said, how can I find this room? Dobby can show you, Dobby answered, his ears perking up excitedly. We could go now! I dont think its such a good idea, Harry, Hermione said softly. We dont have a lot of time left before Charms. Harry paused. He was actually contemplating going with Dobby, in spite of his Charms class. He wanted to see this strange room, make sure it was right for what he and Cedric needed. Then Harry remembered the conversation hed had with Professor McGonagall last week, when he fell asleep in class. He couldnt keep letting his relationship with Cedric overrule everything else in his life. Irritating though it may be, class outranked boyfriend. Hermiones right, Harry decided. Dobby, can you just give me directions on how to find the room so I can look for it later? The house-elf deflated slightly, sad that he wouldnt be able to tag along, but agreed. He told Harry, Ron, and Hermione where the room was located and how to make it appear. They thanked him and set off toward their common room, chatting about what Dobby told them. Ive never seen any mention of a Come and Go Room in Hogwarts: A History, Hermione informed them, or a Room of Requirement.

Maybe thats the point, Ron hypothesized. Dobby did say the room was a secret. Thats probably why Harry couldnt find it anywhere on the map either. I dont know, Hermione said suspiciously. Were laying a lot of faith in a creature that spent the better part of a year putting Harry in mortal danger. To be fair, he was trying to protect me, Harry pointed out. That doesnt really make it any better, though, does it? Maybe we should come with you when you try to find it, Hermione suggested. Do we have to? Ron said. No offense, Harry, but Im not too keen on joining a mad quest to find a room that might not exist just so you can, er, play Quidditch, he finished, slipping into their secret code as they passed a group of second year girls on the marble staircase. This isnt about Quidditch, Harry insisted. I just need to practice dancing for the Yule Ball. And you dont have to come, Ill just bring Cedric with me. Why dont we come anyway? Hermione proposed. After all, you and Cedric are are Quidditch partners now, so maybe Ron and I should get to know him a little better. That notion stopped Harry in his tracks. True, Ron and Hermione were aware that he was dating a boy. And also true, Cedric knew that they knew. But somehow the idea that his friends might meet his boyfriend had never crossed Harrys mind. He didnt really know what to make of it. Now that Hermione had brought it up, it seemed almost inevitable that it would happen eventually. If Harry wanted to keep spending time with all of them, he would have to bring together both aspects of his life. A part of him wanted desperately to keep them separate for just a little while longer, but seeing that nervous look on Hermiones face while she waited for his answer made him relent. I guess so, Harry agreed at last. I mean, if its all right with him. We dont have to stay for the dancing, do we? Ron groaned. Although Im sure you could use a pointer or two, Hermione said coolly, I think it might make Harry and Cedric uncomfortable for us to be there for that. Well, you think right, Harry declared.

At lunch, Harry covertly slipped Cedric a note as they passed each other in the Great Hall. It was short, only two sentences, written in bright green ink. It said:

Found a place. Meet in entrance hall after dinner.

So, your plan was to ask a house-elf who thinks youre the second coming if he has any idea where we can practice dancing? Cedric recapped once Harry was finished filling him in on that mornings events. Theyd met in the entrance hall, as Harry instructed, and set off at once. It took nearly four flights of stairs for Harry to fully explain his relationship with Dobby. Essentially, yes, Harry replied. I cant help but notice how much your idea sounds like my idea, Cedric said lightly. Yes, but when you said it you were joking, Harry countered. I, on the other hand, am not joking. Did it work? Cedric asked. Im not sure, Harry admitted. What do you mean? The place Dobby directed me to is sort of sketchy, Harry explained. I wasnt able to check it out earlier, so Ron and Hermione are going to meet us where Dobby said it would be, and then well see if it actually exists. Ron and Hermione? Cedric repeated. Yeah, I told them they could come, Harry said, looking over at the other boy. Is that okay? Sure, the older boy answered. As long as Im not expected to teach them to dance as well. Hermione, maybe, but Ron? He seems like a hopeless case to me, plus hes not really my type. Im glad to hear that, Harry laughed. And dont worry, Hermione promised theyd leave before we got started. Good, Cedric said, reaching out to give Harrys hand a quick squeeze. I want at least a little time to have you all to myself tonight. Harry blushed and glanced around quickly to see if there had been any witnesses to Cedrics display of affection. There hadnt. They were starting to get sloppy. Not-so-subtle glances at each other in the Great Hall and the corridors followed by knowing grins that they barely fought to conceal, passing notes, making excuses to pull each other aside so they could share an elicit kiss. If they werent careful, they would get caught, sooner rather than later. Harry knew he should say something. Not tonight, Harry thought. Tonight was about Cedric meeting his friends. All other concerns would have to wait. In almost no time at all, they arrived at the seventh floor. They walked along the quiet corridor to where Hermione and Ron were waiting. Hermione was flipping through Hogwarts: A History, probably still looking for some reference to the Room of Requirement, while Ron was examining an old tapestry of Barnabas the Barmy trying to teach a group of trolls to dance the ballet. Oddly appropriate, considering what they were there for. Ron and Hermione both looked up when they

heard Harry and Cedric coming. Hey, Hermione said brightly. Hello, Cedric replied. How are you two? All ready for this wild Snidget chase, Ron muttered, watching Barnabas get a club upside the head for his troubles. What does that mean? Harry asked. I believe Ron is referring to the location of this alleged Come and Go Room, Hermione answered. She shut her book and gestured at the wall opposite the tapestry she was sitting under. There was a window and a large vase, and nothing but blank wall in between. If there was a room here, it was certainly wasnt showing. Everyone else sees that theres nothing there, Cedric said plainly. Right? Its there, Harry asserted. Its just hiding. Well, how do we make it stop hiding? Cedric queried. According to Dobby, Hermione explained as she rose to her feet, we need to walk past this stretch of wall three times while concentrating on what it is that we need. Once were finished, a door should just appear in the wall. She glanced down at her closed book and added, At least its supposed to. Are you doubting Dobby? Harry challenged. Yes, Hermione responded flatly. But since were already here, we might as well try it. Thats the spirit, Hermione! Cedric said pleasantly. He rubbed his hands together and looked intently at the empty wall. Now, how do you suggest we go about doing this? What do you mean? asked Harry. Well, we should probably all be thinking the same thing, right? Cedric elaborated. You know, while were doing the concentrating. Good point, Hermione agreed. But what should we use? Why not simply we need a place for Harry and Cedric? Ron suggested. Its vague, but it meets the needs. Plus the roomll probably still provide whatever you need once youre inside. The others stared at him. Thats actually a really good idea, Hermione said, sounding slightly amazed. Well dont sound so surprised! Ron shouted in a huff. Ive been known to have quite a few of them. I have no doubt, Cedric said sincerely. Hermione gave a muffled scoffing noise in response, and Ron glared at her. Okay, Cedric pressed on before an argument could erupt, shall we then? They all nodded. Harry took a deep breath and moved forward, beginning the three paces. The

others followed his lead. Rons face was screwed up tightly. Hermione whispered mutely to herself. Cedric chewed his lip with his head bowed. Harry clenched and unclenched his fists. They would have been an odd sight to behold had anyone come across them. No one looked at the wall as they passed. By the time they started their third lap, there was still no indication that anything was going to happen. There was no noise, no flash of light, nothing to suggest that a room would appear out of thin air. Come on, please work, Harry thought to himself. Give us a place, a place for me and Cedric, somewhere we can practice, please. Whoa, Cedric said suddenly. They faced the wall after their final turn. Without any sort of warning, a door had appeared. It was made of dark, highly polished wood with a shiny brass handle. All of them, even Harry, were staring at the door in disbelief. Yeah, Harry concurred, taking a step toward the door. Whoa. He grabbed the handle and slowly, cautiously pushed the door open. One by one they went inside. The room was half the size of an average classroom. A chandelier shined down from overhead. It was the same brass as the doors handle. The walls were mirrored with tall marble columns that reached the ornately painted ceiling. The floor was made of paneled wood. In the far corner stood a table, with a stereo and a stack of CDs. Are you serious? Cedric exclaimed, striding across the room. He immediately began sorting through the music that the room had provided. What are those? Ron asked curiously. CDs, Cedric told him. Compact Discs. Theyre sort of like records, only newer and smaller. They play music. Aha! Cedric beamed at the album he was holding. He pulled out the disc and popped it into the player. Do you think itll work? Hermione wondered. There isnt even a plug. She was answered by extremely loud rock music blasting through the stereos speakers. Excellent! Cedric grinned. What is this? Ron asked. Its pretty good. Its called Two Princes by the Spin Doctors, Cedric said as he nodded to the beat. Theyre a Muggle band. Pretty decent. How do you know about all this Muggle stuff anyway? Ron inquired. Youre not a Muggleborn. No, but I used to have a friend who was a Muggle, Cedric explained. I was always fascinated by the stuff they could come up with. I even want to go into Muggle Relations someday. You should meet my dad, Ron said. He thinks Muggles are total geniuses or something. Arent they? Cedric countered. I mean, sure, their inventions may seem a bit backward to us. But think about the things theyve accomplished. Theyve invented huge flying machines that can

carry vast amounts of people across great distances in a matter of hours, all without magic! It took them sixty-six years to go from the first successful flight to landing on the moon. They wield such unimaginable power, all without even touching a wand. Its amazing. Terrifying, sometimes, but amazing. Ron shrugged. I guess youve got a point, he conceded. But I still think theyre a bunch of nutters. Oh, absolutely, Cedric smirked. Thats the best part. They laughed. Harry and Hermione exchanged a significant look. They both knew that, of Harrys two friends, Ron was the one to worry about not liking Cedric. Either Ron was doing a very good job of pretending, or he was actually getting along with his best friends boyfriend. This is so weird, Cedric said as he looked through the stack of CDs again. This is almost my exact music collection from home. Its like the room knew or something. Its definitely helpful, Harry said. Do you have everything you need to finally teach me how to dance? Probably, Cedric answered. The question is, are you ready to learn? I think so, Harry asserted. His mind flashed over every dancing with Cedric scenario he had imagined ever since the older boy had offered to teach him. He flushed slightly because Ron and Hermione were still standing there. No matter how many times he had pictured this moment, he never thought they would be there to witness it. Hermione seemed to sense Harrys discomfort and decided to speak up. Well, we might as well be going, Hermione said. She grabbed Rons arm and began dragging him toward the door. Lots of homework to do, you know. Hermione, its the last day of term, Ron objected. We have all of break to worry about homework! Still, better to get an early start, right? she replied tersely. Her grip on his arm tightened to the point looked almost equally painful for both of them. Ow! Ron shouted. Okay, fine! Homework it is! See you guys later, he called behind him as Hermione shoved through the doorway. Try not to stay out too late, okay? Hermione said. You brought the cloak just in case, right? Harry waved his bundled invisibility cloak at her. At Hermiones insistence, he had begun bringing it with him every time he and Cedric met as a precaution. He never used it, but brought it anyway to placate the motherly girl. Good, she said. She smiled and added, Have fun, you two. Hermione closed the door behind her, leaving Harry and Cedric alone in the Room of Requirement. So those are my friends, Harry said. Theyre great, Cedric beamed. I really liked them.

Youre not just saying that to be nice, are you? Harry asked. Of course not, Cedric insisted, wrapping his arms around the shorter boy. Im really glad I got to meet them. Now you just need to meet Cho. Harry grunted noncommittally. He still wasnt used to the idea that his former female crush was the only girl his boyfriend had ever been with. In light of this, he didnt know how comfortable he would be hanging out with her. But Cedric had agreed to meet his friends, so Harry knew he would have to do that same eventually. Cedric lowered his head so that his and Harrys foreheads were touching. Are you ready? he asked. Harry nodded. Okay, let me restart the song, Cedric said. He went back to the stereo and pushed one of its buttons. The speakers blared a quick drum solo, followed by a guitar, signaling the start of the song Cedric had played before. Two Princes he called it. I like this song, Harry told him. Me too, Cedric said. Okay, dancing. Not as hard as you may think. Its all about moving with the music. First you need to move your feet, like this. Cedric demonstrated by shuffling his feet to the rhythm. Try it. And dont think about it too much, just let it happen naturally. Harry watched Cedrics feet for another moment before attempting to mimic his actions. He tried, but he didnt feel that he was exactly on the beat. Thats good, Cedric insisted. Youre doing great. Now move other parts of your body, too. Hips, arms, shoulders, head. Whatever feels like moving, let it. Watch me. The rest of Cedric joined in with his feet, swaying to the sound of the music. Harry followed his lead but couldnt help feeling a little silly. I look stupid, Harry shouted over the guitar solo. Not even! Cedric said back. You look great, especially for a beginner. He grabbed Harrys hand and twirled him around. Much to Harrys surprise, he recovered quite gracefully. They both laughed. They practiced for a few more songs, with Cedric giving Harry a crash course in Muggle pop music along the way. Once Harry felt comfortable enough, the Hufflepuff boy decided it was time to move on to slow dancing. He placed a new CD into the stereo. A slower, softer melody came out of the speakers. Okay, Cedric began, this is going to be a little tricky because youre going to have to lead and Im not used to that. But well try. Come here. He held his hands out for Harry. The other boy took them. All right, now. I want you to put your left hand on my waist. I bet you do, Harry quipped. Dont distract me any further than you already are by being naturally gorgeous, Cedric shot back. Now, you put your hand on my waist, yes, like that, and I put my right hand on your

shoulder. Then you hold out my right hand in your left, like this. He took Harrys hand. There. This is probably a good position to use for the opening dance at the ball. Its less, er, intimate than some other ones. Trying to keep me from getting too intimate with my date? Harry asked. You know it, Cedric replied. Okay. So, slow dancing is much easier than fast, except with slow dancing you have to worry about treading on your partners feet. Im going to lead for a minute so you can see what you need to do, but then I want you to take over so you can get the hang of it. Sound good? Yep, Harry said. Lets get started. Cedric began slowly at first. He held Harry close and pulled the younger boy along as he moved this way and that. Harry kept his eyes fixed on their feet, trying to memorize the steps Cedric made. Left, right-left. Right, left-right. Left, right-left. Right, left-right. One, two-three. One, twothree. One, two-three, over and over. Do you think youre ready to take the lead? Cedric asked as a new song started. Ill try, Harry said apprehensively. Concentrating on the movements he had seen Cedric make, Harry began leading. Right, left-right. Left, left- no! right-left. Right, left-right. Left, right-left. One, two-three. One, two-three. Yes, one, two-three, over and over. Youre doing great, Harry! Cedric reassured him. He pressed his forehead to Harrys again. Wanna try it without looking at your feet now? Harry looked up into Cedrics warm gray eyes. This immediately resulted in Harry losing his concentration and stepping on Cedrics toe. Sorry, Harry mumbled. Dont worry about it, Cedric chuckled. He started humming with the music. I like this song, too, Harry said. Whats it called? Save the Last Dance for Me, Cedric answered. He sang along with the words, But dont forget whos taking you home, and in whose arms youre gonna be. So darlin, save the last dance for me. Youre good, Harry told him. So are you, Cedric replied. I meant you have a nice voice, Harry clarified. I know, Cedric said. I just meant youre good.

After a few more songs, the boys decided to pack up for the night. They took one last look around

the room before leaving and closing the door behind them. They glanced back after a few steps and found the wall was blank once more. It really is a Come and Go Room, isnt it? Harry marveled. Cedric nodded. Then, as usual, he walked Harry to the entrance of his dormitory. So that was pretty good for a first lesson, Cedric said as their entwined hands swung back and forth between them. Youre a quick study. Sometimes, Harry permitted. Still, I think I could use a few more lessons. Oh, absolutely! Cedric concurred. You know, just to make sure you know exactly what youre doing. Of course, Harry grinned. And maybe make out a little bit in the process. Cedric gasped. Why, Mr. Potter, he gaped. Are you trying to seduce me? Harry draped Cedrics arm across his shoulders. You know it.

One More Sleep 'Til Christmas

a lack of color

CHAPTER FOURTEEN One More Sleep Til Christmas

No, Harry! Cedric cried. Youre supposed to be leading! Dammit! Harry pulled angrily away from his boyfriend and newly appointed dance instructor. He stomped over to the couch that the Room of Requirement had provided and dropped down on it in frustration. This was Harrys third dance lesson in as many nights. He had gotten much better at moving with the beat and stepping at the right time, but he kept inadvertently allowing Cedric to take the lead when they practiced dancing as a pair. Im never going to get this! Harry sulked. Of course you are, Cedric said as he sat beside the sullen boy. Youve gotten really good in a short amount of time. The only thing youre having trouble with is leading, and we still have a few days to work on that. I cant help it, Harry said in his defense. Youre all bigger than me and everything, it just feels natural to let you take the lead. Im going to take that bigger than you remark as a compliment, Cedric quipped. You know what I mean, Harry said. I do, Cedric replied. He thought for a moment, and then said, Thats the problem with two boys dancing. Its harder to tell which one should be leading. Not like with a guy and a girl. Yeah, Harry agreed. Unfortunately, thats all we have: two boys. Maybe, Cedric said slowly. Or maybe not. Harry looked at him. What do you mean? Well, we know girls, Cedric explained. Theres no reason we couldnt ask one of them to help us out here. I dont know, Harry said uncertainly. Hermiones not the ideal person to ask for help with this kind of thing. Shed probably use technical jargon and a really thick book. Thats great for homework, but for dancing? That pretty much sucks the fun right out of it.

What about Cho? Those three small words were all it took to make Harry freeze. Cedric had been not-so-subtly been hinting that he wanted Harry to meet his best friend ever since Cedric had met Harrys. Of course, Harry spending time with Cho was very different from Cedric meeting Ron and Hermione. Not only was she Harrys last crush before Cedric, but she was also the only girl Cedric had ever attempted to have sex with. Cedric had a much cleaner slate when he was meeting Harrys friends. And now Cedric wanted Harry to learn how to dance from her? Cedric barely spent ten minutes with Ron and Hermione. That wasnt Wasnt what? Fair? Harry thought to himself. Youre really going to be that childish about this? He was being a little childish. If he wanted to continue seeing Cedric, Harry was going to have to meet with Cho eventually. That meant putting the past aside and recognizing that, no matter what might have happened before, he was with Cedric now and that was all that mattered. Harry? Cedric asked. You still there? Yeah, Harry said finally. I was just thinking. If youre not comfortable with Cedric began. No, its fine, Harry interrupted. Do you really think she would do it? Are you kidding? Cedric chuckled. Cho lives for this kind of thing. Shes a total fag hag. Harry frowned. Whats that? he asked. Cedric stared at Harry like he couldnt decide whether he thought the other boy was joking or not. Then he laughed. Whats so funny? Nothing, nothing, Cedric said. He reached out and gently brushed some hair across his boyfriends forehead. I sometimes forget how young you are. Is that a bad thing? Harry wondered nervously. No, Cedric answered. Not at all. In a lot of ways, youre actually more mature than most of the guys in my year. It makes it easy to forget that there are still lots things you dont know yet. He pulled the younger boy close and continued, But thats why youve got me. So now youre my mentor as well as my boyfriend? Harry said, settling into the Hufflepuffs embrace. Wonderful. Hey, do you realize what this Thursday is? Cedric said suddenly. Of course, Harry responded. Its Christmas Eve. And? Cedric said. And the last day I have to learn how to dance properly, the younger boy complained. Aaand? Aaand, I dont know! Harry said. The twenty-fourth? And what happened last month on the twenty-fourth? Cedric asked with barely contained

eagerness. Uh, you got your ass kicked by a dragon? I did not get my ass kicked by a dragon, I only got a little burned, Cedric responded tersely. And thats not what I meant. What happened that night? Now Harry started to understand. We had our first date, he said, a smile slowly creeping across his face. Exactly, Cedric confirmed. Making this Thursday our one month anniversary. Oh, Harry said impassively. The panic Harry had been feeling over what to do for Cedric for Christmas just doubled. He really had no idea what to do for an anniversary. We dont have to do anything about it, Cedric said quickly, picking up on Harrys unease. I kinda thought it was, I dunno, neat or something. No big deal. Harry sat up and looked Cedric in the eye. It is a big deal, he said forcefully. Ive just never had an anniversary before. I dont really know how all of this works; anniversaries, Christmas, its so complicated. It doesnt have to be, Cedric told him. He pulled Harry to his chest again and asked, And what did you mean about Christmas? I couldnt decide whether I should get you something, Harry muttered into the other boys torso. You dont have to get me anything, Cedric assured him. But I want to! Harry insisted. I just wasnt sure if we were doing a gift exchanging thing, you know? I didnt want to look silly, being the only one to get the other something. Not that you have to get me anything, because, you dont. Am I going to have to do that thing where I kiss you to keep you from babbling? Cedric asked. If it helps at all, I already got you something. Sort of a combination Christmas and anniversary present. Oh, Harry said. He grinned. So whatd you get me? Yeah, right! Cedric scoffed. Like Im really going to tell you. Oh, come on! Harry cried. Id tell you! Well, thats the difference between us, Cedric replied. I wouldnt even ask. Id much rather be surprised. Youll find out what it is when I give it to you. All right, all right, Harry relented. So the gift thing is definitely a go then. Okay. When should we exchange, though, Thursday or Friday? Hmmm, good question, Cedric mused. Well, we could come back here after the Yule Ball and do it then. That way, if the whole thing is dreadful, well still be able to cap off the evening with something nice.

Something to look forward to, you mean? Harry asked, quoting back Cedrics own words from before the first task. Exactly, Cedric answered, giving Harry a squeeze. Excellent idea, Harry declared. He yawned loudly. His eyelids felt very heavy all of a sudden. Im really glad we dont have classes tomorrow. That doesnt mean that its okay for you to sleep here tonight, Cedric said, poking Harry gently. Lets pack up our stuff and go to bed. We can come back tomorrow night and try again with Cho. Okay, Harry grumbled sleepily. The two boys packed everything up and left the Room of Requirement. As they headed down the seventh floor corridor, Harry went over what would be happening in the next few days. Not only did he need to find Cedric the perfect gift, but he would also be slow dancing with his former crush and boyfriends ex-girlfriend. His mind was so hazy and distracted that he probably wouldnt have made it to Gryffindor Tower if it hadnt been for Cedric leading him there. They said goodnight at the Fat Ladys portrait and Harry stumbled up the stairs to his dormitory. Im really, really glad we dont have classes tomorrow, Harry thought groggily as he dove into bed.

The next day Harry relayed his two dilemmas to his friends. He had to wait until lunch, though, as hed slept through breakfast. I dont get it, Ron said once Harry was finished. Whats the big deal about dancing with Cho? I thought you used to fancy her. That is the problem, Ron, Hermione answered exasperatedly. Cedric knows he used to fancy Cho, and now Harry has to dance with her, very close, in front of him. That would make anyone self-conscious. You dont know the half of it, Harry thought. And she really didnt. Harry never told his friends about Cedrics past with the Ravenclaw girl. It was obviously the sort of thing Cedric didnt want anyone knowing about. If he ever decided to tell them that was his choice, but otherwise Harrys lips were sealed. The gift crisis is more easily solved, Hermione said. We can simply go into Hogsmeade and find something there. How? Ron asked. Theres no Hogsmeade visits scheduled for before Christmas. Hermione smiled mischievously. Theres more than one way to get into Hogsmeade, she said in a light, cryptic tone. Hermione! Ron exclaimed. Since when do you suggest rule breaking?

Sometimes you need to bend the rules for a good cause, the girl reasoned. Well have to go tomorrow, though. I, er, already have plans for today. Plans, eh? Harry said. Youre being rather vague, Hermione. What are you going to be doing? Im not telling, she said defiantly. The boys stared at her, agape. What, Harrys the only one whos allowed to have mysterious liaisons? Could you not refer to my dates as mysterious liaisons? Harry demanded, skewering some potatoes with his fork. It makes them sound tawdry. Fair enough, Hermione conceded. So, tomorrow, after lunch? Its a date, Ron said. What? Hermione squeaked. No its not. Again the boys stared, baffled by her sudden outburst. What are you talking about? Ron asked. Nothing, she replied. Ive gotta go. Hermione swiftly gathered up her things and bolted from the Great Hall. Ron and Harry watched her go, baffled by her sudden mood swing. Then Ron shook his head and turned back to his food. Completely mental, he said to no one in particular.

By the time Harry reached the location of Room of Requirement that night, the door had already appeared in the usually blank wall. He hesitated for a minute before opening it. He couldnt explain why, really. Harry knew exactly what was on the other side, and that there was no avoiding it. Still, he took a moment to prepare himself before opening the door. He was immediately greeted by the sound of Cho laughing. Dont be ridiculous, she was saying to Cedric. I am nothing if not delightful. Yeah, yeah, Cedric mocked. He caught sight of Harry entering and beamed. Hey! Hi, Harry, Cho said warmly. Hey, Harry responded. Whats so funny? Oh, nothing, Cho told him. Ric was just warning me to behave myself, and I was merely informing him that it was unnecessary, as I am always well-behaved. And I was about to inform her that she is quite mistaken, Cedric finished for her. She should thank you for walking in and interrupting when you did before she embarrassed herself. Like Harry walking in is enough to stop me from embarrassing myself, Cho replied. She

stomped over to the stereo and began shuffling through the stack of CDs. How are you, Harry? Cedric asked, pulling him into a hug. A little confused, Harry answered. Did she just call you Ric? Its her little joke, Cedric explained. She knows I hate the nickname Ced so as an alternative she calls me Ric. She thinks shes funny. I am funny, Cho sang from the corner. Harry laughed uncertainly. Cedric and Cho were so comfortable with each other; he couldnt help feeling a little like an outsider. This did nothing whatsoever to alleviate his nerves about what they were here to do. As if he sensed what Harry was feeling, Cedric leaned close and whispered, Dont be nervous. She takes a bit of getting used to, but shes quite sweet if you give her a chance. The younger boy nodded. He knew he should trust his boyfriend. After all, if Cedric had thought this would end poorly he wouldnt have arranged for Cho to come and assist them. That gave Harry some comfort. Not a lot, but some. So, what do you think? Cho asked as she sauntered over to join them. She placed her hands on her hips and looked back and forth between the two boys. Are we gonna do this or what? Cedric turned to Harry. Sure, Harry answered. Lets do it. While Cedric went to man the stereo, Harry and Cho got into position. A year ago Harry wouldve melted at the thought of wrapping his arms around the pretty Ravenclaw Seeker. Now it just made him extremely uncomfortable. This is weird, he admitted. Its weird, Cho agreed. Very weird, Harry amended as he placed a hand on Chos waist. Glad were in agreement, Cho muttered, grabbing onto Harrys shoulder. Ric told me that he filled you in on our sordid history. Yes he did, Harry replied. Wanting to be honest, he threw in, Did he tell you I used to have crush on you? He failed to mention that, Cho said. Probably worried Id try and steal you away if he did. Is that why you asked me to the ball? Kind of, the boy confessed. Naughty-naughty, Harry, she scolded. Too bad youre a queer, otherwise I definitely wouldve said yes. You are quite the hottie. Im surprised Ric was able to land a boy like you. Youre aware that I can hear every word youre saying, right? Cedric said flatly as he sorted through the music selection. Well then wed better keep our voices down, or else you might overhear our secret plan to run

away together, Cho shot back. She winked at her dance partner and said, Right, Harry? Absolutely, Harry responded with a grin. Elope later, Cedric said, sticking a CD into the stereo, dance now. Music filled the air. Cho pulled Harry a bit closer. A few minutes ago that would have made Harry feel unspeakably awkward, but now that the tension was slightly broken between them it actually felt kind of nice. Still weird, of course, but nice all the same. You ready? she asked him. Ready or not, he said, here we go. Shakily, Harry took in a breath and stepped to the beat.

So it wasnt so bad then? Hermione asked Harry the following afternoon. The pair was making their way up the stairs to the third floor. From there they planned on taking a secret passage to Hogsmeade concealed in the statue of a humpbacked witch. It was only Harry and Hermione going on this excursion as Ron had backed out at the last minute. According to him, illicit Hogsmeade visits to buy a friends boyfriends Christmas gift wasnt really his thing. Not at all, actually, Harry replied truthfully. Chos really great, we got along very well. Good, Hermione said. How did the dancing part go? Harry thought for a moment about the number of times he had accidentally stepped on Chos feet before answering, That didnt go quite as well. Im positive youll get it before Friday, Hermione said comfortingly as they approached the humpbacked witch statue. They looked up and down the corridor. No one was around. Check the map, she told him. Taking the wrinkly old piece of parchment out of his pocket, Harry pressed his wand to it and said the magic words: I solemnly swear that I am up to no good. The familiar lines of ink danced across the page for a few moments until the Marauders Map was complete. Harry studied its contents closely and found that the only dots nearby in their corridor were his and Hermiones. All clear, he assured her. He mumbled a quick Mischief managed! to clear the map, then tapped the stone statue beside them and said, Dissendium! Instantly the small opening in the witchs hump appeared. Do you want me to help you in? Harry asked. Hermione didnt answer. She looked a little uneasy. Hermione? Im not so sure this is a good idea anymore, she said. What if we get caught? This was your idea! Harry argued. I know, Hermione admitted. But I didnt really think about it until right now. If were caught sneaking into Hogsmeade, well be in a lot of trouble.

Well, stay here if you want, Harry told her, but Im going. Without another word, Harry hoisted himself up and through the opening. He slid a ways down the stone shoot inside the witchs hump. It must have been long, considering it started on the third floor and led to a tunnel that went underneath the Hogwarts grounds, but it was so dark and went so fast that Harry could hardly tell. After a minute or two he landed firmly in the underground passageway. It was even darker at the bottom than on the ride down. Harry pulled out his wand. Lumos, he said softly, igniting the tip. He looked around the beginning of the now-familiar tunnel. Not for the first time, Harry wondered just what part of the grounds he was under. Probably the greenhouses or somewhere near the Quidditch pitch. All of a sudden, Harry was torn from his musings by the sound of something coming down the chute behind him. He turned, holding his wand out before him, and witnessed Hermione tumbling out of the opening. She landed hard on the ground, but quickly stood and brushed herself off. You didnt tell me about the slide, Hermione muttered, scowling slightly. I thought you werent coming, Harry replied. Harry, if it hadnt been for my encouraging you to tell him how you feel, you wouldnt even be with Cedric right now, she said. Do you really think I can trust you to pick out a Christmasslash-anniversary gift by yourself? Hey, Im not completely hopeless! Harry protested. No, you are, Hermione retorted, strolling past him to start down the passageway. Its not your fault, really. All boys are. I mean, look at Ron. Oh, unfair! Harry called after her. He moved quickly to catch up with her, saying, I am nowhere near as bad as Ron! Well, thats true, Hermione accepted. But youre still kind of bad. Its my first relationship, the boy grumped. I cant help being a little clueless. And hey, he added, realizing something, you dont have any more experience than I do! You have less, even! Hermione smiled slightly in response to this accusation and shrugged. Wait, Harry said, stopping. Whats with that? What does he did an exaggerated imitation of her smile and shrug mean? It means that you have no idea what Im up to on summer breaks, Hermione informed him. And I do have a secret date to the Yule Ball. How do you know I dont have a secret boyfriend as well? Harry thought about this as they began walking again. Did Hermione really have a secret boyfriend, or was she just joking around with him? There was that what did she call it? mysterious liaison of hers the other day. Was something going on with her? If there was, Harry supposed her secret would come out eventually. His certainly did.

A long while later, Harry and Hermione reached the end of the tunnel and climbed the many steps up to the trapdoor in Honeydukes basement. They used Harrys Invisibility Cloak to sneak upstairs without being noticed, then shed the garment once inside the store itself. Just as Hermione predicted, the village of Hogsmeade was bustling with shoppers so close to Christmas, so the two teens went almost completely unnoticed even despite the absence of other Hogwarts students in the village. Since they were already in it to begin with, they decided to look around Honeydukes Sweetshop for a while first before moving on to another store. Any idea what Cedric might like? Hermione asked as they looked over a long row of shelves filled with different sweets. Harry shrugged. I dont know about candy, he said, but he likes spicy foods. How about some Pepper Imps? Hermione suggested, gently fingering a pack. They make you breathe fire. Theyre probably spicy. I dont know, Harry said. Something about giving your boyfriend candy that makes him breathe fire doesnt sound right to me. I suppose thats true, she agreed. Hermione put the Pepper Imps back and continued down the aisle. Why dont you do a special order of Bertie Botts? Whats that? You can place a special order of Bertie Botts Every Flavor Beans for a specific theme of flavor, Hermione explained. For example, if you can ask for a breakfast themed order, and theyll only pack flavors like eggs and sausages and pancakes; things like that, things youd eat for breakfast. So I can ask for a spicy flavor order, Harry filled in. Thats an excellent idea! How do we do it? Well, first you need to take of your glasses and smooth your hair down over your forehead, Hermione instructed. After giving her a bewildered look, which she met with one that plainly said she meant it, Harry followed his friends orders. The world went a little fuzzy when he removed his glasses, but he was able to make out basic shapes. Why am I doing this? he wondered. Because we have to talk to one of the owners to place the order, she told him. And while I highly doubt hell be able to identify me, you are far too recognizable. So keep your glasses off and cover your scar. Got it, Harry replied. He did as he was told and followed Hermione up to the register. The woman sitting behind it was Mrs. Flume, the owners wife. She eyed them curiously as they approached her. She was no doubt wondering what a pair of teenagers was doing in the shop when there was no Hogwarts visit scheduled.

Hermione smiled sweetly and said, Hi, wed like to place a Bertie Botts special order. Shouldnt you two be in school? Mrs. Flume asked, looking between them. Harry smoothed down the hair resting over his scar self-consciously. We dont go to Hogwarts, Hermione told her. Were here with our father, actually. You know, a bit of Christmas shopping. Mrs. Flume looked like she didnt really buy Hermiones story. Harry braced himself, fully prepared to try and make a run for it if she called them out. But Mrs. Flume merely grunted, seemingly satisfied by the girls explanation. Whats the order? she asked. Hermione told the owners wife what they wanted and Mrs. Flume wrote it down, saying their order would be ready in an hour. They thanked her and stepped out onto Hogsmeades snowcovered main drive. That was close, Harry said as the door closed behind them. I was sure she wouldnt believe you. She probably didnt, Hermione replied. She might just not care. Whatever, Harry said indifferently. Im just glad that thats over with and I dont have to worry about this boyfriend-present business anymore. Youre joking, right? Hermione laughed. Harry, you cant only get Cedric a bag of Bertie Botts for Christmas! Harry groaned. But its so clever and thoughtful! And not enough! Hermione pressed, still smiling with a hint of arrogance. Watching her smile, Harry noticed something. Her teeth were straighter than usual somehow. Whats up with your teeth? he asked. Hermione made a discomforted face and covered her mouth with her hand, saying, Oh, that. She pulled her hand away and continued, Remember when Malfoy messed my teeth up with that curse? Harry nodded. Well, Madam Pomfrey had to set them right, but she didnt really know what right was so I sort of let her straighten them out a bit more than usual. Thats why you kept biting your tongue the next day, Harry realized. Yes, Hermione said. Im surprised you didnt notice sooner. I might never have noticed if it hadnt been for your condescending smile, Harry said with a faux bitterness that his own smile betrayed. He sighed deeply and said, Its really not enough? She grabbed his hand and pulled him along the street. Come on, Harry. Weve got an hour. Well find something else. Despite his predicament, Harry couldnt help noticing how cheerful and festive the village of

Hogsmeade was around Christmastime. There was a layer of snow over everything, giving the scene an incredibly peaceful look even with all of the holiday shoppers rushing about. Store windows had colorful displays that stood out particularly in contrast with the white all around them. There were carolers and revelers and dozens of people lugging heavy packages, all smiling through the cold and wishing each other a happy Christmas. It made Harry glad that he and Hermione had come regardless of the risk. They went through a number of stores but nothing seemed to satisfy either of them. There were a few things Harry liked in Zonkos Joke Shop but, as Hermione pointed out, Dungbombs and Nose-Biting Teacups are fine for friends but not very good Christmas gifts for someone youre dating. (Also, she added, never buy me a Nose-Biting Teacup.) Harry in turn pointed out in Scrivenshafts Quill Shop that, while there were many fine items there, even the finest quill wasnt quite special enough. Their hour nearly over, Harry was starting to give up when Hermione suggested they try Gladrags Wizardwear. What am I supposed to get him in here? Harry asked, riffling through a section of socks with strange properties. He looked at a tag and read, Scream when they get too smelly! Not quite sure thats the message Im looking for. They have normal clothes, too, Hermione said, indicating another area of the store. Indeed there were normal clothes. There were a lot of winter items, such as hats and scarves and gloves. There were also several nice wool sweaters in a number of colors. Harry looked through them and found one the exact same shade as his dress robes, a handsome bottle green. He pulled it out from the pile to get a better look. It looked good, and felt to be the right size for Cedric. It was perfect. Thats lovely, Hermione admired. Does Cedric like green? Its his favorite color, Harry said. Excellent! Hermione said cheerfully. Now hurry up and buy it. Weve got to pick up the order from Honeydukes and get back to school before dinner. Harry purchased the sweater, then hurried back to Honeydukes Sweetshop with Hermione. There he paid for his special Bertie Botts order, along with some Toothflossing Stringmints for Hermione to say thank you for helping him out. She tried telling Harry that he didnt need to, but he insisted. Youve got to take care of those teeth now that theyre fixed, he told her. Thank you, Hermione said, accepting the mints with a gracious smile. They had to linger around the store for a bit to make sure all was clear, but were soon able to slip under the Invisibility Cloak and depart through the basement. The trek down the tunnel felt shorter coming from Hogsmeade than it had from the school. The slide, on the other hand, was much more difficult to get up than it had been to go down. With some struggle and, for Hermione, a little bit of help the pair was able to make their way up and out of the witch statues hump. Unfortunately, they misjudged the distance between the opening in the statue and the ground, and fell ungracefully out, landing in the third floor corridor with a thud. Harry recovered first, springing up in a flash, and then helped Hermione to her feet. They glanced around to make sure there was no one to witness what had just happened. The corridor was empty, so Harry and Hermione composed themselves and walked calmly toward the stairs.

Well, that was fun, Harry quipped, with a false air of casualty. Most definitely, Hermione responded.

Over dinner, they relayed the events of their afternoon to Ron in hushed tones. I have to admit, Im a little surprised you didnt get caught, Ron told them. It was one thing for Harry to sneak in when the place was packed with students, but in the middle of the week like that Is that why you didnt come? Hermione asked good-humoredly. Too scared? No! Ron cried with slight indignation. Of course not! Why didnt you come? Harry queried. Does the whole Quidditch thing make you uncomfortable? For the last time, no, Ron said, still slightly annoyed. I just didnt feel like going. Im happy for you. Really. Off of Harrys dubious gaze, he added coolly, Can we just please change the subject? Okay, Harry said. Searching his mind for a new topic, he blurted out, Hermione got her teeth fixed. Harry! Hermione hissed. Of course she did, Ron said absentmindedly. Like, a month ago. Did you just notice? Uhm, yeah, Harry replied. Youre telling me you noticed a month ago? What? Ron said. Its not like Im completely clueless, he threw in, nearly echoing Harrys words earlier that day. Harry and Hermione shared a look, obviously thinking the same thing: maybe Ron wasnt such a lost case after all. They didnt say another word about it, merely shrugged and went back to their dinner. Then Ron tried, for the eighteenth time, to get Hermione to tell him who her date to the Yule Ball was, and the moment was ruined.

You know whats weird? Cho asked as she and Harry twirled around the Room of Requirements makeshift dance floor. Im trying to concentrate and youre asking questions? Harry murmured.

Youre doing fine, and dont interrupt my train of thought, she admonished. I was just thinking: Ric and I used to date, and were both Seekers. And now you and Ric are dating, and youre both Seekers. And you used to like me, and Id totally take a run at you if you werent dating my best friend and, yknow, gay, and were both Seekers as well. Isnt that weird? Yes, Cho, its downright eerie, Harry said unconvincingly. Maybe I should think about dating Draco Malfoy, Cho mused. Then we would have all four Hogwarts Seekers in the mix. Now thats weird, Harry told her, successfully pulling a twirl on his dance partner. It was late on Christmas Eve and, after four nights of practicing with a real-life female, Harry had finally gotten the hang of slow dancing. Not only that, but he felt much more comfortable with Cho. The two of them were chatting and laughing like theyd been friends for, well, maybe not years, but much longer than they were in reality. If youre finished planning a bizarre Seeker four-gy, Cedric called over the music, I think we should probably wrap this lesson up for the night. Oh, is that your expert opinion, Professor Diggory? Cho teased. I think you just want me to clear out so you can get an anniversary snog with your hot boyfriend. Yeah, that was the plan, Cedric agreed without a hint of embarrassment. All right, Ill go, Cho pouted. But I want details tomorrow! Tomorrows Christmas, Harry pointed out. Consider it a gift to me then, Cho said. She gathered up her things and gave both boys a kiss on the cheek, then departed with a cheery wave. The boys smiled at each other from across the dance floor. So, now what? Cedric asked. Oh, I dont know, Harry said. I believe I heard someone mention snogging? Cedrics smile broadened as he promptly closed the distance between them, taking the younger boy in his arms and kissing him. Harry deepened the kiss, enjoying the feel of Cedrics arms and body and lips. Cedric started to guide their embrace over toward the couch, but Harry pulled away before they made it. He looked at Harry, concerned. Harry? he asked. Whats wrong? Harry only smiled mysteriously and drifted over toward the stereo. He pulled a CD out of the pile, put it in, and skipped to the last track. As the music began to play, Harry turned and held out his hand for Cedric. Dance with me, he said. Cedric grinned, and started ambling over to him. You realize that this might completely undo all the work youve done in the past few nights. I dont care, Harry shrugged. He set out across the floor as well. Its our anniversary, our first,

and its Christmas Eve. I want to dance with my boyfriend. They met each other halfway. Again Cedric wrapped his arms around Harry, only this time without a kiss. Instead, he pressed his forehead to the shorter boys. Okay, he said. And they swayed to the music. Its weird, Harry said, how different life was two months ago. Neither of us were champions, there was no tournament for us to worry about. Things were much simpler back then. But if it hadnt been for the tournament, we might not have gotten together, Cedric theorized. Thats true, Harry replied. In that case Im almost glad no, I am glad I was entered. He looked up at Cedric. If I had to go through everything that happened between Halloween and the first task again, with all of the school against me, just to be here with you right now, I would. Cedric ducked down and kissed Harry, pulling the boy more tightly into him. Then he moved his lips to Harrys ear, like he did so many weeks ago after they were chosen for the tournament. Happy anniversary, Harry, he whispered. Happy anniversary, Cedric, Harry said back.

Making Christmas

a lack of color

CHAPTER FIFTEEN Making Christmas

After lingering for a long while following Chos departure, kissing and dancing and enjoying each others company, Harry and Cedric reluctantly parted ways. As usual, Cedric walked Harry to the Fat Ladys portrait to give them more time together before turning in. Once there, they said their goodbyes. And, since it was past midnight, they wished each other a merry Christmas as well. Ready for a good nights rest before starting Christmas properly, Harry tumbled into bed. To his surprise, instead of landing on his smooth, soft sheets, Harry felt something firmer and rougher against his face, like paper. Looking at his pillow, Harry saw that it was paper an envelope with a small scrap of parchment attached to it. He looked the items over in the light coming from his window. The parchment read:

Harry

This came while you were out. Me and Hermione tried to stay up so we could read it with you, but it got late. Let us know what it says in the morning.

Ron

Immediately, Harry ripped open the envelope, knowing exactly what was inside now: Siriuss response to the letter he sent after the first task. Harry quickly scanned the short letter once, then read it at a slower pace two more times. Nothing very personal, other than congratulations for getting past the Horntail. He swelled with pride when he read that Sirius was impressed with him. The part toward the end about keeping his eyes open troubled Harry. Hed almost forgotten the shady information Sirius relayed to him about Karkaroff. But nothing suspicious had happened to him lately. And it was Christmas, after all; hardly a time to be worrying about conspiracy theories. The moment passed as soon as it had come. Harrys eyes fell on the last line of the letter.

Keep in touch, I still want to hear about anything unusual.

In his head, Harry imagined the kind of response he could give to such a request:

Well, Sirius, to be honest, something pretty unusual has happened. You see, for the past month Ive been dating the other Hogwarts champion, Cedric Diggory. Thats right, Im gay, or at least pretty sure that I am. Hope youre not too disappointed, because he makes me unbelievably happy. Ive opened up more to him in the past few weeks than I ever have to anyone else, with the exception of Hermione and, to a slightly lesser extent, Ron, but for some reason I still havent been able to bring myself to tell him the truth about you and I cant figure out why. And as if that wasnt weird enough, I had to take dancing lessons from his ex-girlfriend, who also happens to be my former female crush. To my surprise, weve actually become friends now, but that still doesnt make the thought of them dancing together any easier to stomach. You see, my boyfriend is taking his ex-girlfriend, my old crush, to the Yule Ball. Oh, and did I mention shes also the only girl hes ever slept with? Hows that for unusual?

Not for the first time, Harry wondered what Siriuss response might be if he actually did send a letter like that. Well, maybe not all of that, exactly. The bit about him dating Cedric, though. Part of him wanted to, to tell Sirius and be done with it. Maybe that was why Harry hadnt told Cedric about his godfather yet. Maybe he wanted to be sure they would have his approval first. Maybe. Whatever the reason, Harry wasnt going to worry about it just yet. It was Christmas, and Harry didnt want to think about serious matters like coming out to Sirius. For now he wanted only to sleep and to hopefully wake up to a very happy Christmas Day. And although he tried to push thoughts of coming clean to his boyfriend and his godfather out of his mind, Harry couldnt help picturing a perfect Christmas as he drifted off to sleep, with Cedric and Sirius and his friends. In his vision, he and Cedric could open about their relationship, their affectionate gestures met only with love and approval from those around them. And Sirius was a free man, a happy man, who welcomed Cedric, like he had Harry, as a son. It was a silly dream, Harry would realize when he reflected on it later; incredibly girly and highly unrealistic. Still, it was enough to cause a wide smile to break out across Harrys face as he slept.

Early the next morning, Harry stirred awake briefly. He hoped to roll over and drift back to sleep, slipping from one beautiful Christmas dream to another. These hopes were abruptly dashed, replaced by surprise and near-terror when he saw Dobby the house-elfs wrinkly little face looming inches away from his own. Once the shock had worn off and Harrys heart vacated his throat, along with the surprised shout, he apologized to his dorm mates for waking them. Thankfully it was Christmas morning, and any bad feelings about being woken so early were overlooked in favor of opening presents. Harry graciously accepted Dobbys handmade Quidditch-themed socks and regretted not thinking

to get the house-elf something while he was in Gladrags with Hermione days earlier. Of course, he really had no way of anticipating that the tiny creature was going to give him anything, and Dobby seemed happy with the second-hand socks Harry gave him. The young wizard only smiled at Dobbys suggestion that you werent supposed to have two of the same kind. It was a pretty good haul for Harry this year, gift-wise. Other than the Dursleys present of a tissue, of course. Harry was just grateful it wasnt used. There was a curious note with the copy of Quidditch Teams of Britain and Ireland from Hermione that said she had another book she would present him with later. He wondered if Hermione was trying to turn him into a fellow bookworm after all the time theyd spent together in the library while he and Ron werent speaking. Harry especially liked his gift from Mrs. Weasley, the green sweater with the picture of a dragon on it. Harry was always touched by how Mrs. Weasley sent him something at the holidays. Plus, the green reminded him of his own gift for Cedric. Putting his now-opened gifts in a pile, Harry grinned, thinking about how he still had one more coming that night. Finished with their presents, Harry and Ron headed down to the common room to find that Hermione, unsurprisingly, was already there waiting. She was leafing through a book in front of the fire while stroking Crookshanks, who was curled up in the girls lap. Hermione looked up when she heard them approach. Merry Christmas, boys, she said with a smile. Merry Christmas, they said back. You said you have something else for me? Harry asked, holding up her note. Come now, are presents all you can think about at Christmas? Hermione tisked. Lord, no, Ron answered. Theres also food. Hey, its your note, Harry said in his defense. Im perfectly happy with the book you already gave me. And thank you, by the way. Youre welcome, Hermione said. She shut the book she was reading and handed it to him. Here. Harry read the title out loud: Magical Mildew: A Wizards Field Guide to Functional Fungus. He looked up at her quizzically. Thanks? Open it and take a look at the title page, she said, grinning eagerly. Unsure what to expect, Harry opened the book. He almost dropped it to the floor when read what was printed on the title page, which, thankfully, he did not read aloud: Wizardry and Homosexuality, A Retrospective: From the Dark Ages to the Modern Era. I put the fake cover on so that no one would accidentally pick it up and start reading it, Hermione explained. I saw this in the bookshop in Hogsmeade last month and thought you might want to give it a look. She lowered her voice and continued, I know it feels like youre the only person in the world going through this right now, like youre some kind of freak. But youre not. And I think this book could help you deal with it. This is really really great, Harry said, tearing his eyes away from the title to look at her. Thank you. She shrugged.

I just hope it can be of some help, Hermione said as she rose from her chair. And see? It pays off to have a friend who knows a lot of books. At least it has this time, Harry replied. He passed the book to Ron, who glanced at the title page for a second before immediately handing it back. Thats great and all, Ron said, but can we go and get something to eat already? Im starving. Harry glanced at Hermione. She met his gaze uncertainly. They both strongly suspected Rons approval of Harrys sexuality was beginning to wane. Any time they brought this up, however, Ron emphatically informed them that he was fine with it. Even so, Harry couldnt help feeling Ron had a problem, whether it was with Cedric or the entire situation altogether. He didnt want to press though, especially not on Christmas. Instead, he shrugged it off and said, Yeah, lets go.

Breakfast went by without incident. There was a surprisingly low turnout considering how many students had stayed behind for the break. Perhaps, Harry thought, some people like to sleep in on Christmas Day. The idea was strange to him. Who could possibly sleep late on Christmas morning, with all the festive excitement? Of course, Harry also thought it was strange to stay at Hogwarts for Christmas at all if you had a family to go home to, even for some stupid dance. It was one thing for Ron and Hermione, who only did it to keep Harry company, though theyd never admit it. It was because they did so that Harry purposely refrained from looking over at the Hufflepuff table throughout their meal. It was Christmas morning and, despite what some people thought, a time for family. Ron and Hermione were, other than Sirius, the closest thing to family that Harry had and they deserved nothing less than his undivided attention. At first Harry thought it would be difficult to not look across the room at his handsome Hufflepuff hottie. However, as the three of them talked and laughed and reminisced about Christmases past, he found himself quite thoroughly distracted, in the best possible way, of course. Hed almost forgotten how good it was to spend time just the three of them. After their meal, they returned to the Gryffindor common room. While Ron played with an Exploding Snap set, Harry and Hermione settled into armchairs to read. Harry pulled out the book Hermione had given him and read the title page again. Wizardry and Homosexuality, A Retrospective: From the Dark Ages to the Modern Era. The title made it sound like one of those cheesy self-help books his aunt Petunia read, the kind that use metaphors about clouds and acorns achieving their full potentials by growing into trees, and usually spoke about your inner child at least a hundred times. Looking at the table of contents, Harry saw that this book was nothing like that. It was a history book of sorts. It was all about gay and lesbian wizards through the ages, going all the way back to early civilization, and their struggle for equal recognition in the wizarding society. It was fascinating. And surprising. There seemed to be less social stigma when it came to being a homosexual for wizards than there was for Muggles. Harry supposed it had something to do with

wizards being a minority themselves, in comparison to the Muggles. Its easier to accept someone elses differences if you have a few of your own. And there were so many famous gay and lesbian wizards throughout the years who achieved great things! Many people even suspected that Bowman Wright, the man who developed the Golden Snitch, was a homosexual, though there was no concrete evidence to back this up. Skipping ahead to more recent history, Harry read that still today there were well-known wizards who also happened to be gay; a few influential members of the Ministry of Magic were gay, and the editor of the Daily Prophet was a lesbian. Even members of Quidditch teams, like Aidan Lynch of Ireland, who Harry had seen play at the Quidditch World Cup the summer before. Lynchs boyfriend was a Squib who was a gay rights activist in the Muggle world. And it wasnt limited to England , or even Europe for that matter. All around the world there were renowned gay wizards and witches. The book was incredibly thick, so there was no way Harry could finish it between breakfast and lunch, but he skimmed over most of it, taking in facts and anecdotes about wizards who came before him voraciously. It was astonishing to learn that the wizarding community was, mostly, tolerant of homosexuality. Sure, there was some bad mixed in there as well but, in a world where Death Eaters existed, Harry expected nothing less. Even so, gay wizards had more rights than most gay Muggles did; they were even allowed to get married by the Ministry of Magic, which was something almost all Muggle governments still did not allow. The more he read, the more reassured Harry felt. It wasnt personal shame he had been worrying about when it came to being gay. Not really. He was becoming very proud of who he was, all aspects of himself, including this. But he was Harry Potter, not just the young man, but the figure, the title. He was the famous boy wizard who had taken down Lord Voldemort. If he was gay, and attempted to live his life openly as a homosexual, the whole wizarding world would know. Hed been terrified of being globally reviled because of who he was. But now, seeing accounts of wizards who had done so much more than him and were also gay, Harry had never been more relieved in his entire life, not even when hed believed he was leaving the Dursleys to live with Sirius. Hermione was right. He wasnt a freak. He wasnt alone.

When lunch finally arrived, Harry, Ron and Hermione headed back down to the Great Hall. The meal was superb. There was so much food that the tables sagged under the weight of it all. Harry felt so full at the end that he wasnt sure hed have any room left for the ball that night. As the feast was winding down, and most of students were retiring to their various dormitories, two visitors dropped by the Gryffindor table: Cedric and Cho. Merry Christmas, all, Cedric said jovially. Hello, Cho added, less certainly. Hi, Hermione replied kindly. Ron merely nodded. Harry looked around at his odd assortment of friends. It wasnt too long ago that he couldve

sworn hed never see the five of them all gathered around. Even now, mixing Cedric and Cho with Ron and Hermione felt a bit strange. And yet, at the same time, not so strange. They were, after all, united by a common thread, that being Harry himself. Each was, in their own way, connected to him. It was only natural that they would converge some time. Whatve you all been up to today? Cedric asked, not seeming to sense the awkward tone at all. He stole a slice of potato off of Harrys plate and popped it in his mouth, smiling cheekily at the other boy. Harry wanted to admonish Cedric for being so brazen in public, but all he could do was smile back. Just hanging around, Harry replied when no one else would. Any plans for the afternoon? Cedric asked, being sure to address all three of the Gryffindors. Before anyone could answer, Fred and George appeared from out of nowhere. Good day, ladies and gents, Fred greeted them. How are you all on this fine Christmas morning? George inquired. Without giving any of them a chance to reply, he continued, Ah, yes. The sun is shining, birds are chirping and the grounds are filled with freshly fallen snow, Fred concluded for his twin. Yes, yes, snow, George said eagerly. And I think you all know what snow means. Frozen water? Hermione supplied. So literal, Hermione, George chided. Snow means snowball fight! Fred enlightened them. Whos in? The twins looked around at the five of them. All five of them. Harry was startled and perplexed by this. The last time hed seen Fred and George around Cedric they were incredibly rude. He wondered what brought about the sudden change, but didnt want to say anything that would possibly ruin the moment. Im in, Harry said. He turned to Cedric, who seemed uncertain. Harry looked at him expectantly and Cedric nodded. Sure, he said. Sounds good. Ron shrugged. So long as I dont have to play against you two, he said to his brothers. You guys are brutal. Ladies? Fred asked. Not interested, Hermione responded immediately. Me either, Cho harmonized. But we can watch you boys beat the piss out off each other. Ooh, that does sound like fun, Hermione said with the tiniest hint of glee. Its settled then, George cheered. So Weasley brothers against the famed Hogwarts Champions then?

The aforementioned Hogwarts Champions looked at each other and smiled. Yeah, Harry said. Bring it on.

Hundreds of snowballs, six snow forts (including one so ambitious that it was more a fortress than a fort), three fake truces, two real truces, and several hours later, the five boys were still at war. Off on the sidelines, Hermione and Cho continued chatting away, cheering vaguely whenever someone made a particularly valiant effort. Harry wondered occasionally what they had to talk about, but usually when he did it cost him a snowball to the head. So, as a rule, he tried to let it rest. Come on, Harry, Cedric said as they crouched behind their wall of ice and snow. Stay focused. We can win this! Harry nodded. I think we need to try the kamikaze approach again, Cedric told him. Grab as many snowballs as you can and make a dash for the other side. Then, once youre there, let em loose. And while theyre distracted, Ill come join you for a second wave. Theyre as good as ours! Are you insane? Harry hissed. Why dont you go first? Because youre smaller, and faster, Cedric argued. But Ill be totally unprotected! Ill cover you, he assured the boy. You trust me? Staring into Cedrics icy gray eyes, an urge overcame Harry. He pulled his boyfriend further down behind their wall, right on top of him, and kissed him. It wasnt their most comfortable kiss, as both boys lips were cold and quivering slightly from being out in the snow for so long. But it did say everything Harry wanted it to. I trust you, he answered, watching his breath coming out in a fog across Cedrics cheek. Then lets do this, Cedric said, grinning wickedly. They sprang into action. Harry gathered as much ammunition as he could while Cedric kept guard, making a few halfhearted throws so that the Wesley brothers wouldnt become suspicious. Harry smiled broadly as he worked. He knew kissing Cedric like that, on the open school grounds, with Fred, Ron, and George only a few feet away was very foolish. He didnt really care though. He felt euphoric. After reading Hermiones book, and being surrounded by all of his friends, Harry couldnt remember a happier Christmas in fourteen years. You ready? Cedric called. Arms loaded with snowballs, Harry stood. As Ill ever be, he replied.

Okaaay, Cedric said, watching the Weasleys fort. Then hastily he shouted, GO! Harry went. A heavy barrage of snowballs zinged and crashed all around him. Harry did his best to push through them. Finally, after being hit more than half a dozen times, he made it. He dived on the frosted fortress, throwing his snowballs in all directions. But it was no use. They had been prepared for such an invasion, and he was greatly outnumbered, even after Cedric rushed to his aid. Soon the two Hogwarts Champions lay in a heap on the ground, covered in slush. It was over. They had lost. That was fun, Cedric panted. He sat up. His hair was frozen sticking up at an odd angle and Harry stifled a giggle at his expense. However, he continued, I am absolutely freezing, not to mention soaking wet. So Im heading inside. Me too, Harry agreed. He turned to the Weasleys. Guys? As it turned out, the Weasleys, upon winning the battle and no longer having anyone to fight against, had turned on each other. Or rather, Fred and George had turned on Ron, who was trying desperately to put up a decent struggle. He wasnt doing too good a job. Harry and Cedric trudged through the snow back up towards the castle. Without even thinking about it, Harry almost reached out to hold Cedric hand as they walked. Thankfully he caught himself. Sneaking a kiss buried behind some snow didnt seem as risky as holding Cedrics hand for all to see. You boys sure got your asses handed to you, Cho said pleasantly as Harry and Cedric approached them. Aw, Cho, youre so sweet, Cedric told her. Come here and give me a hug. Dont touch me, youre gross and soggy! Cho exclaimed, pushing him so he was at arms length. Nice hair, by the way. Are you heading inside? Hermione asked. Yeah, Harry said. G-gonna try and get warmed up. Dirty, Cho snickered. Were going to head off as well. Got to start getting ready for the big night. Its five oclock, Harry observed. The ball doesnt start for three hours. Do you really need all that time to get ready? Harry, dont question women about their grooming habits, Cedric warned. Listen to Cedric, Harry, Hermione said. And get inside before you catch pneumonia or something. Harry nodded. Rather than wait for the girls and walk in with them, the two boys sprinted back to the castle. Once they reached the entrance hall, they merely stood there, hopping anxiously from one foot to the other to stave off the chill.

Now what do we do? Harry asked. I dont know, Cedric replied. I mean, I guess we could go back to our rooms, but He didnt finish the sentence aloud. It didnt matter. Harry knew what he wanted to say; they could go back to their rooms, but he didnt want to part yet. I know what you mean, Harry said. Cedric smiled at Harrys ability to perceive what hed been thinking. We need to go somewhere, though, Im f-f-freezing. Some place warm, Cedric murmured. His eyes lit up. Follow me! Cedric dashed across the entrance hall, over to the door beside the marble staircase. He hurried down the stairs, Harry following close behind. The stairway leveled off into a familiar wide corridor lined with paintings, all portraying food of some kind in vivid colors. They walked down the passage side by side and again Harry felt the urge to reach out for the other boys hand. Feeling bold now that they were in a more private setting, he did. Cedric looked at him. Lord, you have no self control, he mocked. But he was smiling as he said it. After a minute or so they reached the picture of a bowl of fruit, the one concealing the entrance to the kitchens. Harry knew what to do next: tickle the pear until the door handle appeared. To his surprise, Cedric reached out and did it before Harry could even move. Where did you learn how to do that? Harry asked. Are you kidding? Cedric asked back. The Hufflepuff dormitory is right down the corridor. Everyone in my house knows how to get into the kitchen. During this whole exchange, Cedric had been tickling the pear. It giggled, like it always did, then abruptly sprang out to form the doorknob. Harry looked around the corridor, wondering which of the many paintings there was hiding the entrance to the Hufflepuff dorm. He was pulled, literally, from his musings as Cedric led him into the kitchen. Upon entering, the boys were hit with a wave of warm air. The house-elves were working at triple capacity to have things done for the Yule Ball and, as a result, the stoves were burning even hotter. It definitely made the kitchens the ideal place to go to warm up. Seconds after they entered, the pair was accosted by Dobby. Harry Potter, sir! he squealed. And also Cedric Diggory as well! It is so good to see you both, sirs. How can Dobby be assisting you? Harry was about to answer when Cedric cut in. Actually, Dobby, we were just looking for a place to dry off and get warmed up, he said. Do you think that would be all right? Most absolutely! Dobby said. Can Dobby fetch you some warm, dry towels? Would that help you sirs? Thatd be great, Dobby, Harry told him. Thanks. The boys headed over to one of the kitchens many hearths, a more private one that was not being used at the moment, while Dobby went off to get them towels. Harry stared at Cedric.

How do you know Dobby? he asked. He mentioned you once before, I cant believe I forgot about it until now. Youve sort of had a lot on your mind, what with the gorgeous boyfriend and all, Cedric teased. Then he shrugged. I come in here sometimes when I want to be alone. I like to cook, and the house-elves let me. Harry shook his head in disbelief. Theres so much I still dont know about you, Cedric Diggory. Less than youd think, Cedric responded. Come on, lets get out of these wet things. Doing as he was told, Harry set about removing his first few layers, including his jacket and sweater. He looked over and caught sight of Cedric peeling off his wet clothing. Here is your towels, sirs, Dobby said, appearing as if out of thin air. He set down a pile of large, fluffy towels between them. If you is needing anything else, simply call and Dobby will come. Thanks Dobby, a shirtless Cedric replied. He took a towel for himself, then handed one to Harry. Harry blushed and took it, turning away quickly, but couldnt stop himself from sneaking a few more peeks at his boyfriends uncovered skin. They may have been dating for a month, but they still hadnt gone much farther than kissing. There were a few quick gropes under each others shirts, but neither had removed any article of clothing in front of the other. In spite of this, Harry thought he had gotten a pretty good idea what kind of physique Cedric was hiding from those touches, and from having Cedrics body pressed close to his during dance lessons and make out sessions. A pretty good idea and the reality were, apparently, two very different things. In his head, Harry had already come to the conclusion that Cedric was in good shape. Now seeing him in nothing but his boxers, Harry could tell that good shape was an understatement. An extreme one. Harrys heart thudded in his chest as he watched Cedrics body twist and his arms stretch to wrap a large, warm towel around himself. Seeing Cedric in nearly full glory was enough to make Harry stop mid-strip, completely forgetting the cold, soggy clothing that still clung to his body. Harry? Cedric asked with a sniff. Hurry up, you dont want to get sick on Christmas. Right. Because of his wet clothes. Because they were cold. Except could Harry no longer feel the cold that had been seeping into his bones only moments ago. On the contrary, he felt rather warm. And extremely embarrassed at the idea of Cedric seeing him in nothing but his underwear. Harry? You know, Im actually not that cold, Harry said unconvincingly. Very unconvincingly, considering he was shaking as he said it. Oh, come on, Cedric urged. You got to see me strip, but I dont get to watch you? Harry blushed even harder, and wondered faintly how he still didnt feel cold even though nearly all of his blood seemed to be located in two very specific parts of his body. Y-you dont want to see me strip, Harry informed him.

Cedric stepped closer. Youre wrong, he said deeply. Now come on. I dont want you getting sick before our own Christmas celebration tonight. Feeling extremely self-conscious, and shaking from more than just the cold, Harry nodded and removed the rest of his clothes until all that was left was his boxers. He couldnt bring himself to look up at Cedric, because he didnt want to see the older boys reaction to his small, scrawny frame. Then he felt Cedrics hand reach under his chin and lift his head until their eyes locked. You are so gorgeous, he said. Then Cedric pulled Harry into his arms and wrapped his towel around the both of them. Yep, Harry thought, sighing contentedly into his boyfriends muscular bare chest. Best Christmas ever.

The Night Was Alive

a lack of color

CHAPTER SIXTEEN The Night Was Alive

The boys spent more than hour curled up together in front of the kitchen fireplace. At first, Harry was worried that they might distress the house-elves, all working hard to prepare the nights feast. Soon he realized that his concern was misplaced, as the house-elves went about their business without so much as a glance at the two boys sitting near-naked in the middle of their work space. Similarly misplaced were Harrys fears that Cedric would be disappointed by his skinny body, which was much less impressive than his boyfriends. Quite the opposite, Cedrics approval was obvious. Harry could feel it, from his position between Cedrics legs as he was leaning into the older boys chest. He didnt say anything about it, not knowing exactly what he should say, but he did blush when he realized what it was. Cedric didnt say anything either, and Harry was grateful for that. He didnt know if he was ready for a more physical relationship with his boyfriend yet. He was even less sure if, ready or not, he could possibly resist if Cedric propositioned him. As the hour of the Yule Ball drew nearer, the boys realized that their chances of being caught in a compromising position became greater. They pulled on their clothes, which were now dry and comfortably warm, and exited the kitchens as discreetly as they could. (That is, after a prolonged goodbye from Dobby.) It took a few more minutes for Harry to convince Cedric that not only was it impractical for him to walk Harry up to the Gryffindor Tower when his own dorm was down the hall, but that it would also look highly suspicious. It was only after Harry planted a very quick, very chaste goodbye kiss on him that Cedric finally let Harry go on his own. By the time Harry reached his room, it was almost quarter to seven, a little over an hour before the Yule Ball would begin. More than enough time to get ready. Harry decided to get a shower in first. He undressed again and headed for the bathroom. Standing under the warm, soothing cascade of water, Harry reflected on his Christmas so far. It was doing a decent job of outshining every Christmas hed ever had, and the day wasnt even over yet. During his time at Hogwarts, the number of people he cared for, and who cared for him, had grown significantly. Where four years ago hed spent Christmas Day in his aunt and uncles kitchen helping prepare a feast that he was then forbidden from joining, today hed spent it in the Hogwarts kitchen wrapped in the arms of a beautiful teen heartthrob, feeling absolutely secure and cared for. After showering, Harry returned to his room. He immediately pulled on a pair of boxers. Then he caught a glimpse of himself in the rooms mirror. His hair was a bit damp, and he wasnt wearing his glasses. There were streaks of water still on his skin that he missed while drying himself. A

single drop of water rolled down his chest. Harry always hated his body. Even after a few years at Hogwarts, he was more underdeveloped than most boys, thanks to his summertime malnourishment. His oversized hand-me-downs from his cousin, on top of being a source of embarrassment, only served to make him look even skinnier. Normally when Harry got out of the shower he dressed quickly so that he wouldnt have to face what he looked like under his clothes. This time, he waited a minute. He stared at himself in the mirror, and remembered the smile Cedric got when he saw Harrys body. The smile that said what you were looking at was everything youd ever dreamed of and more. Harry couldnt understand it. All right, maybe he wasnt entirely revolting or anything. But he was still pretty bony. Although, now that he thought about it, his shoulders had broadened out a bit since he came to Hogwarts. And his chest wasnt quite as concave as he remembered. And were his eyes playing tricks on him, or did his tummy have the beginnings of a six-pack? His body wasnt nearly as glorious as Cedrics or anything, that was for sure. Yet, as he tried to see himself through his boyfriends eyes, Harry started to believe that maybe he did look good. Without realizing it, a smile of Harrys own had spread across his face. It wasnt the same one Cedric had gotten while looking at Harry. It was a new smile. A satisfied smile. From out of nowhere, a song crept into Harrys mind. It was one of the more up-tempo songs that Cedric had played for him in the past few nights. Harry didnt know all of the words, but he hummed the tune as he thought the ones he did.

Life is a highway, I wanna ride it all night long. If youre goin my way, I wanna drive you all night long.

Harry liked that song. It gave him wild thoughts of running off with Cedric and driving down an abandoned road in the middle of a sunlit desert somewhere. In a convertible. Top down, wind in his face, wearing sunglasses and beaming like the sun overhead. With Cedrics arm draped over his shoulders. That would be a treat. Harrys head bobbed in time with the music. He was looked rather silly, standing in front of the mirror in his boxers, bopping along to the music in his head, and he smiled more widely at his ridiculous behavior. He was about to stop and get dressed when he realized that he was going to have to dance in front of a huge portion of the Hogwarts student body before the night was over. If he couldnt get past his inhibition in the privacy of his own room, there was no way hed make it through the ball. Trying for bold, Harry started moving his body, too. He still felt silly, but he was getting over it. He smiled shamelessly as he began full-out dancing to the music in his head. Harry didnt know what possessed him. Maybe it was the natural high that came with such a fantastic Christmas. Maybe it was a byproduct of his feelings for Cedric. Whatever the reason, it felt great. Goofy, but great. Just then, Harry heard someone cough behind him. He froze, then turned and saw Ron standing in the open doorway, staring. His expression was a mix between amused and embarrassed.

H-hey, Ron, Harry stammered, his face growing uncomfortably hot. Hello, Harry, Ron answered politely. He was doing his best to suppress a smirk. After a moment, he asked, Were you just dancing around in your boxers? Yes. Ron nodded. He stepped into the room, closing the door behind him. You probably want me to forget I saw that, Ron hypothesized. Kinda, said Harry. Rons nod turned into a head shake with a grin as he said, Yeah, Im afraid I cant do that. Figured as much, Harry sighed. Without another word about it, Harry began dressing for the ball while Ron went to take a shower. Dean, Seamus, and Neville turned up eventually and the five of them went about getting ready together. The boys all looked a little nervous about the evening they were facing. None, however, looked as nervous as Ron. His dress robes looked even worse on him than they did off. Harry wanted to say something reassuring but, judging by the look on his best friends face, knew there was nothing he could say to make the situation better. Now he was fully dressed, Harry gave himself another look over in the mirror. Now that he was feeling slightly more comfortable about his appearance, he actually thought he looked good. Even his hair was decent for once. And, of course, his dress robes added a lot to the effect. Then again, it was hard not to look good when you were checking yourself out in a mirror next to Ron in his dress robes. You, uhm you look, uh I mean you dont look too, yknow, Harry stammered, trying to find something encouraging to say to his friend. The problem was that he didnt want to lie. The dress robes looked slightly less feminine now that the lace had been Severed, except now instead of being laced the edges were horribly frayed. Plus they were still made of maroon velvet. Harry didnt know much about fashion but he knew ugly when he saw it. Your hair looks really good, Harry said at last. This is the worst thing anyone has ever been forced to wear in the history of clothing, Ron said dismally. Oh, come on, Im sure thats not true, Harry insisted. There has to have been worse than that. For Merlins sake, have you seen the stuff they wore in the Eighties? Its maroon, Ron groused, making a face. You love maroon, Harry said. I hate maroon, Ron countered. Harry sighed. Yes, thats right. He patted his friend on the shoulder. Its not that terrible. And really, youre

fussing more about it than you should. Im sure no one else will even notice. Ron, Dean said with a laugh, whats with the dress? Thanks, Dean, Harry muttered. The other boys gathered around the mirror now as well, all giving themselves final look over before going downstairs to greet their dates. They had a hard time, however, looking at themselves instead of Ron. Seriously, though, is it a joke or something? Seamus interjected. You look like a fag, man. Rons ears turned a bright red that complimented his robes nicely. Under the pretense of adjusting the collar of his robes, Harry elbowed Seamus in the ear. Oh, sorry, Harry said insincerely. Its getting crowded up here, I think Im gonna head down. Turning from the mirror before anyone could respond, Harry exited quickly and hurried down the towers spiral stairs. Halfway to the bottom Ron caught up with him. You okay? he asked. Harry nodded. You? Ron also nodded. No further conversation passed between them as they entered the Gryffindor common room. The array of colors that surrounded them, contrasting from the usual black robes they saw everyday, made Harry smile a little after what Seamus had said. However, it was not able to erase his embarrassment and disappointment. Harry knew Seamus was a bit ignorant and a lot intolerant, but he had never been on the receiving end of it, so it was easy to forget, especially after reading Wizardry and Homosexuality that day. Maybe the world wasnt quite as open-minded as the book had led him to believe. Through the thick multitude of colorfully dressed students, it was hard to pick a single face out. Harry was just wondering how he would find Parvati when she appeared right in front of him, decked out in intensely pink robes trimmed by glittering gold jewelry. Hi, Harry, she said eagerly. Hi, Harry replied. Parvati looked down at her robes, then back at Harry expectantly. Er, you look nice, he told her awkwardly. Parvati laughed airily. Oh, thanks. She turned to Ron. Her distaste for his dress robes was thinly disguised. Padmas going to meet you in the entrance hall. Yeah, Ron responded absently, looking around the common room. Wheres Hermione? Parvati shrugged, paying as little attention to what he said as what he did to her. Shall we go down then, Harry? Without waiting for a response, Parvati grabbed Harrys arm and dragged him through the crowd.

Ron trailed a few paces behind, still craning his neck to try and find Hermione. The entrance hall, they found, was even more tightly packed than their common room. Nearly every fourth year and above was there waiting, plus some below who were escorting older students, like Ginny. Plus there were the students visiting from Durmstrang and Beauxbatons. Ron practically dove to the floor when Fleur Delacour passed them, not wanting to face her considering the way he embarrassed himself the last time. Harry doubted she even remembered Ron asking her to the ball, but kept this opinion to himself. Despite the sheer density of the mob, they found Parvatis sister, Padma, relatively quickly. Her robes mirrored Parvatis in all but color; Padmas were turquoise. Hello, she said brightly, looking around at them all. Padmas gaze landed on Ron and her face fell. Her low opinion of his dress robes was even more regrettably obvious than her sisters. Hi, Ron said, barely acknowledging his date or her disdain. Has anyone seen Hermione? Both Patil sisters looked affronted. Harry, rather than answering, simply looked around the entrance hall. However, he couldnt seem to spot her either. Seeing everyone around him in dress robes made Harry wonder what Cedric would look like in his. And what Cedric would think about the way he, Harry, looked. Harry tried not to appear too eager as he searched around for his boyfriend. Quite suddenly, Harry felt a slightly twinge of guilt for being on a date with a girl when he already dating someone else a boy, no less. Or maybe it was because he was thinking about someone else while he was supposed to be on a date with Parvati. Probably both. It was stupid, Harry knew, because it wasnt like he was completely leading her on or anything. Theyd agreed to go to the Yule Ball together, that was all. They hadnt committed to any future plans or anything. And it wasnt even a date exactly, the word date had never been used by either of them. So long as he didnt lead her on in any way, make her think he was interested in more, Harry figured his conscience was clear. At least he hoped so. Before Harry could dwell on the matter any longer, he heard Professor McGonagalls voice call from the other side of the crowd, Champions over here, please! Yet again Harry was yanked through the massive assembly of students by Parvati. They met Professor McGonagall along with the other champions and their dates. Unfortunately, Harry and Parvati reached her before Cedric and Cho, who mustve come up behind them soon after. Harry was about to sneak a glance behind them at Cedric when McGonagall snapped her fingers at him. Pay attention, Potter, she barked. Now, the eight of you are to wait here until the rest of the guests are inside and seated. At that time, you will enter in procession as pairs. Now, you all wait to the side here. Ill return once everyone else is inside. Without another word, she swept off and disappeared into the throng. Once she was gone, Harry turned. Standing very close behind him was Cedric, and beside him was Cho. Cedrics dress robes were extremely well fit, a very dark, golden shade of yellow. Chos were a vibrant orangey red. Hey there, Cedric said with a deep, sexy voice and a smile that made Harrys stomach flutter. Hi, Harry, Cho said, beaming. She touched his shoulder lightly. You look hot.

Harry tried not to blush. Whether it was from Chos compliment or the way Cedric was looking at Harry, with hunger in his eyes, was difficult to tell. Parvati looked slightly offended at the attention Cedrics date had paid hers, and she pulled Harry a little closer. Cedrics smile faltered. Having a good time, er, Parmela? Cedric directed at Harrys partner. Its Parvati, actually, she corrected, looking both coy from being addressed by the handsome sixth year boy and embarrassed that he had called her the wrong name. Oh, right, Cedric murmured. Harry was confused by this exchange. Surely hed told Cedric his dates name before. It was strange for Cedric to forget something like that. Just then, Viktor Krum approached with his date, a beautiful girl in elegant blue dress robes. For a moment, Harry almost didnt recognize her under her well-styled hair and flawlessly-applied make up. Hermione? he said with surprised laugh. How do I look? she asked with a smirk. Cho gave me some pointers this afternoon. Thought Id try something different for the ball. And I suppose this is your mystery date, Harry said, indicating Viktor. Viktor extended a hand to him. It is nice to meet you in formality, he said in thickly accented English. Hermy-own talks of you constantly. Wish I could say the same, Harry replied, casting a reproachful look at Hermy-own. The news that Hermione spoke of Harry so often didnt seem to do much to mollify Parvatis annoyance at the attention her date was getting. She gripped his arm so tightly it began to hurt. The six of them stood in a loose circle; Parvati glowering at Hermione and Cho, Krum looking dubiously at Harry, and Harry and Cedric trying their best not to look at each other. The tension was reaching a dangerous level when, thankfully, Professor McGonagall returned and told them to line up. Professor, Fleur piped up expectantly. Is zair a specific order in which we are required to enter? McGonagall stared at her, lips thinning with impatience. No, Miss Delacour, you may enter in any order you like. Fleur smiled to herself, no doubt planning on making the grandest entrance. Professor McGonagall appeared to have inferred this herself, from the way she rolled her eyes mildly. She moved on without further comment. Confirming Harrys suspicion, Fleur took place at the front of the line with her date, Roger Davies. Krum and Hermione stepped up behind them. They were followed by Cho and Cedric, the latter of whom cast Harry one final glance before getting into position. He nodded subtly with a soft smile, which Harry returned. Once Cedric faced forward, Harry found it hard not to stare at the boy standing in front of him.

His dress robes nicely outlined the tight, muscular body Harry had gotten an eyeful of earlier that day. Unfortunately, Harrys body began reacting to the memory of what hed seen. Realizing that he was about to walk into a room full of people who would be staring at him, and that it might not be a good idea to do so with an erection, Harry looked away and tried to put the image of Cedric in his boxers out of his mind. It was hard difficult to do, but he tried. Minutes later, Fleur and Roger stepped into the Great Hall. The other champions and their dates followed close behind. The more time he spent with Parvati on his arm, the less Harry found himself feeling bad about asking her to the ball while he was seeing someone else. It was clear from the way she waved to get the attention of everyone around her, and the way she barely even looked at Harry, that she only accepted his invitation so she could be Champion Harry Potters date. This was fine by Harry, if a littler annoying. The Great Hall was opulently decorated, so much so that Harry hardly recognized it. It was like some kind of ice palace out of a fairy tale. For a brief, stupid moment he wondered how such a transformation could have taken place in the few short hours since lunch. Then he remembered, of course: magic. Being raised by Muggles made it all too easy to forget the astonishing things magic could accomplish. Somehow Harry allowed himself to get roped into sitting next to Percy Weasley at the head table. Other than having to hear him go on about his new promotion as Mr. Crouchs assistant, dinner went relatively well. In fact, Harry was quite at ease until he caught a snippet of Dumbledore describing a room hed come across that morning. He nearly choked on his goulash when he heard it. If he wasnt mistaken, the room that was being described sounded quite a bit like the Room of Requirement. What floor was this, Professor? Harry asked in a would-be-casual manner once Dumbledore was finished telling his tale. The seventh floor, Dumbledore answered. Not too far from my office. Harry considered this. The headmasters office was only a few corridors away from the Room. For the first time since he and Cedric had claimed the room for themselves, Harry wondered what would happen if someone attempted to use it while they were in there. Was there a chance they couldve been caught this entire time? Something the matter Harry? Dumbledore asked, abruptly tearing Harry from his thoughts. No, sir, Harry replied. Justjust wondering what the room might have been. While Dumbledore went on about the benefits of such curiosity to Karkaroff, Harry glanced down the table at his boyfriend, who was immersed in conversation with Cho. They were laughing at some joke. All of a sudden Harry felt a jolt of envy. Cedric caught Harrys eye and sent him a wink. Harry only nodded in response. He wasnt sure why he was so bothered seeing Cedric and Cho having such a good time together. It never upset him seeing them together before. Sooner than Harry wouldve liked, the meal was over, which meant it was time for the dance portion of the Yule Ball. With a gut-clenching feeling of trepidation, Harry stepped onto the dance floor. He placed his left hand on Parvatis waist and held hers with his right. As the Weird Sisters cued up, Harry took a deep breath. You can do this, he coached himself.

And, to his surprise, he could. It wasnt exactly like dancing with Cho, and it certainly wasnt like dancing with Cedric, but it was close enough. It was a bit like riding a broom; you may switch different models, but the mechanics were still the same no matter what. Harry tried to catch Cedrics eye as he and Parvati twirled around the floor. However, Cedric did not take his eyes off of his own dance partner. They were smiling cheerily at each other. Again Harry felt a stab of jealousy. Lost, Potter? a gruff voice questioned over Harrys shoulder. Harry looked around and saw Mad-Eye Moody waltzing with Professor Sinistra to his left. Embarrassed that hed been caught staring, Harry smiled despite himself. No, Professor, Harry answered. Merelydistractedby the ball, and everything. Mm, Moody grunted. His magical eye zipped around the Great Hall. Harry was fairly certain that it lingered on Cedric and Cho, but couldnt be certain in the dim lighting. Yes, you do tend to become distracted, dont you, Potter? Then, before Harry could scrutinize what Moodyd said too much, the man two-stepped away. A few notes later, the song ended. As a new, faster one started up, Harry caught sight of Cedric and Cho, still dancing together and looking like they were having a thoroughly good time. In spite of Parvatis protests, Harry stalked off the dance floor. He planted himself in a chair next to Ron and glared openly at his boyfriend dancing with another person. Ron looked just as sullen that Hermione was with Viktor as the champions fangirls, the Viktorias, did. (Incidentally, they had all worn dark red dress robes, to match the Bulgarian Quidditch colors. They were strikingly similar to the color of Rons robes, causing him to look like a Viktoria himself.) The Parvati twins were gone before either boy noticed. Women suck, Ron grunted. Men arent so great either, Harry replied. A few minutes later, Hermione stopped by. Harry watched in silence as the tension between them grew and grew until it reached a boiling point and both stalked off. This suited Harry just fine. He could seethe perfectly well on his own. That is, he couldve, until Cedric and Cho came up to his table, short-breathed and grinning. Hey, Harry, Cho greeted him. Why arent you out there dancing? Not really in the mood, Harry gritted off. Cedric frowned at this, which filled Harry with both a sick satisfaction and a guilty pain. Cmon, Cho said playfully, reaching for Harrys hand to pull him onto the dance floor. You look far too good to be so gloomy. Stop, Harry said, yanking his hand away. Harry, whats the matter? Cedric asked. He knelt before Harrys seat, looking so deeply concerned, so willing to do anything that might make Harry feel better. It made Harry feel that much worse.

Im fine, Harry mumbled. Cedric, why dont you go and fetch us some butterbeers? Cho asked. For a moment, Cedric didnt answer. Then he stood and, after throwing a sad glance at Harry, headed toward the drink table. Cho sat down next to Harry and gazed out at the mass of people on the dance floor. Whats bothering you? she asked bluntly. Nothing, Harry snapped automatically. Dragonshit, Cho replied smoothly. Honesty. Please. Harry sighed. I dont know, he said. I guess, seeing him with you, just sort of I dunno. Made me, Harrys voice dropped drastically in volume, jealous, or something. Jealous or something? Cho repeated skeptically. Please, you shouldve heard Cedric. Harrys head spun around to look at Cho. What do you mean? Seeing you and Parvati? she said. Hes been out of his mind all night. Its taken every ounce of my energy to keep him distracted. I mean, you saw. He barely contained his hostility toward her. Yeah, Harry said, thinking about how Cedric forgot Parvatis name. I guess youre right. And anyway, she went on, youre nearly all hes been able to talk about all night. Harrys chest swelled at this. Really? Are you kidding? Cho asked. I had to practically force him to stay on the dance floor when you sat down. He wanted to follow you straight off but I warned him it would look too suspicious. And I swear to God, if I hear him say, He looks good, right? one more time, I will strangle him. Harry laughed. Seconds later, Cedric reappeared, carrying three butterbeers. He handed them to his companions and sat on Harrys other side. After taking a gulp from his bottle, Cedric looked at Harry earnestly. You really look good tonight, he said. Harry and Cho exchanged glances, then burst out laughing. What? Cedric cried. Nothing, Ricky, Cho assured him. Nothing. As the three of them drank their butterbeers and talked, Harry felt his bad mood fade away. The more time passed, the clearer it was that hed been an idiot for feeling so jealous. Slowly, surreptitiously, Cedric slid his leg closer to Harrys so they were pressed tightly together. It reminded Harry of the Weighing of the Wands, back before they were even dating. Back when soft touches and subtle glances were all they had. Their relationship had grown so much more

since then. How could Harry have ever doubted it? Thats it, Cho said suddenly. Im sick of this sittin around stuff. One of you poofs is gonna dance with me. She stood and looked between the two champions, like she was sizing them up. Then, grabbing Harrys arm, turned to Cedric and said, Im stealing your boyfriend. I want him returned in the condition you found him! was Cedrics response. Laughing harder than he expected to, Harry let himself be led out to the dance floor, much more willing than he had the first time. His night was definitely looking a whole lot brighter.

Been a Long Day

a lack of color

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN Been a Long Day

Wait, wait, I want to take a picture! Harrys head spun as Cedric lifted him back up. The older boy had just dipped him unexpectedly, leaving Harry rather dizzy. Cho brandished the camera shed pulled from her purse. Dip him again! she demanded. Give me a minute to recover, Harry chuckled. The change in Harrys attitude toward the ball after speaking with Cho was almost too dramatic to believe. All the jealousy and disappointment hed been feeling vanished, and were replaced with an overwhelming sense of happiness. Hed danced some with Cho, then with Cho and Cedric, which, in such a massive crowd was not at all strange. Okay, maybe the whole dipping thing was weird, but it was all in good fun. Its not like he and Cedric had started making out on the dance floor. Cho tapped her foot impatiently. I havent got all night, Potter, she snapped. Except Harry could hear the amusement in her tone. Taking a deep breath, Harry nodded. Cedric wrapped one hand around Harrys back and held Harrys hand with the other, trying not to look too happy about it. Harry grabbed the arm holding his waist, bracing himself. An instant later, Harry fell backwards. If it had been anyone else doing it, he might have felt scared, even if just a little. But it was Cedric. There was no way he could not feel safe with him. Those are some fancy dance moves, Harry heard someone say as he was picked back up. From out of the packed horde emerged Hermione and Viktor Krum. Cedric immediately released Harry and took a step away. We were just messing around, he said solemnly. Krum nodded curtly, but made no comment about what theyd just seen. Well, now that theyve finally gotten you out on the floor, Hermione said to Harry, I demand a dance! She turned to Viktor and asked, Is that all right with you? Vell, I Krum looked like he wanted to protest but his manners got the better of him and he said, Yes. Of course. He did not, however, look too happy about it.

Come on then, Hermione said. She dragged Harry a short distance away. The song that had been playing ended and a slower one started up. Harry went through the now-familiar motions, taking Hermione by the waist as her hands clasped behind his neck. It was nice, dancing with her. Not nearly as awkward as hed thought it would be. It made her seem more sisterly than ever, in a good way. Youve cheered up considerably, she observed as the swayed on the dance floor. Yeah, Harry said. Why shouldnt I? Its a good ball. Yeah, Hermione agreed, though there was something less certain in her tone. Harry knew it had something to do with her and Rons argument, but decided not to press. If she wanted to talk about it, she would. The rest of the ball was more of the same; dancing, laughing, friends enjoying each others company. Midnight came almost too soon. It was funny, considering how disgruntled Harry had been at eight oclock, how disappointed he was when the Weird Sisters played their final song. In spite of the crowds loud protestations, the students filed out of the Great Hall obediently, though dejectedly. On his way out, Harry felt someone tap him on the shoulder. Cedric, of course. He pulled Harry into a corner of the entrance hall, glancing around to make sure they werent seen. They werent; everyone else was too wrapped up in saying goodnight to their own dates to notice anyone else. With the lighting in the hall so dim, and the corner they were standing in so dark, Harry threw caution to the wind. He stood up on his tiptoes to kiss his boyfriend. Cedric pulled away hastily. What are you doing? he asked, trying to sound stern but unable to keep a smile from his lips. You look too good, Harry answered simply. Couldnt resist. Well, try, Cedric said, chuckling a bit. He looked over his shoulder and, satisfied that they werent being watched, took hold of Harrys waist and pulled the smaller boy close. Harry rolled his eyes. Hypocrite, he thought. However, this thought did not keep Harry from bringing his hands up to play with Cedrics collar. So, I was thinking, Cedric began. Ill walk Cho back to her dormitory, to keep up the appearance that shes actually my date plus shell probably kill you if you dont, Harry interrupted. Totally, Cedric replied. Ill do that, and then Ill change out of my dress robes into something more comfortable and meet you up in the Room of Requirement for our gift exchange. Sound good? Sounds perfect, Harry approved. Just try not to let Cho keep you for too long. Please. You try reasoning with that girl. Cedric considered this a moment. Actually, you probably could. She adores you. His eyes roved over Harrys body. Not that I blame her. Harry blushed. He couldnt help it. Every time Cedric looked at him that way his stomach got all twisted with pleasure and all his blood rushed to either his face or, well, someplace in the opposite

direction. He pushed Cedric away. Go, he insisted. The sooner you drop her off, the sooner we can meet up and start our own Christmas. Cant wait, Cedric said. Then, with a quick wink, he turned and disappeared into the crowd. After taking a moment to compose himself, and let certain parts of his anatomy to become less excited, Harry departed from the darkened corner. He took the steps of the marble staircase two at a time, eager to change and get to the Room of Requirement as quickly as possible. Then he realized Cedric was taking Cho up to the Ravenclaw Tower, then going back down to the Hufflepuff dormitory below the ground floor before heading all the way back up to the seventh floor. There was no reason at all for Harry to rush. He could probably crawl and still make it to the Room before Cedric. Even after realizing this, though, Harry couldnt help making his way up to the Gryffindor Tower a little faster than usual. The tightly wound ball of nervous, excited energy in his chest wouldnt let him go any slower. It took several attempts to wake the Fat Lady when Harry reached her. In fact, it wasnt until a pack of no less than a dozen Gryffindors had gathered outside the painting, shouting a chorus of Fairy lights! that she finally roused enough to open for them. Harry was the first to scramble through the portrait hole. He sprinted up the staircase to the boys dormitory, tripping over the hem of his dress robes twice in the process. Harry flew into the room, not even noticing that he wasnt alone until a sullen voice said, Hey. Harry whirled around and saw Ron lying in bed, still wearing his shabby maroon robes. Hey, Harry replied, winded. He yanked his dress robes over his head and threw them unceremoniously onto the floor. Thinking better of this, he scooped them up and laid them out on his bed, then began searching for something else to wear. Like pants. He should probably wear pants. Some shoes would be a good idea, too. And socks. How was the ball? Ron asked in a dull, monotonous voice. It was great, Harry said, still scrambling to get ready. Where were you, anyway? Went for a walk, Ron answered tersely. Oh? Harry responded absently. Thats cool. Not really, he heard Ron murmur. The words hardly registered, given the frenzy Harry was in. What am I missing, what am I missing? Harry thought to himself. Got the presents, Im wearing pants A shirt! Riiight. As Harry searched through a pile of laundry for something clean enough to wear, Ron gave a little cough and sat up. Oh, right, he said, theres, uh, something I need to tell you. Something I overheard on my walk. Its really weird, actually, I Im sorry, Ron, but can it wait? Harry asked, pulling a somewhat clean T-shirt over his head. I dont want to be late. You can just tell me in the morning, right?

Ron frowned. Yeah, he said. Sure. Okay. Clearly it wasnt okay. Harry knew that. And if it were any other day, any other moment, Harry mightve slowed down and asked Ron what was wrong. But hed been looking forward to this all week. So instead he muttered a quick thanks and bade Ron goodnight, dashing out of the room before his best friend had a chance to respond. Harry was very cautious as he made his way along the seventh floor corridor. He realized too late that hed forgotten his Invisibility Cloak, but did not want to go all the way back to get it. It didnt take him long to reach the Room of Requirements location. He decided to just do the three paces quickly and get inside before anyone could see him out of bed so late. With each pass by the stretch of blank wall, Harry filled his mind with Christmassy thoughts; pine trees, stockings, a roaring fire. All the things hed never gotten to experience himself until coming to Hogwarts. Give us a place t celebrate Christmas, he thought desperately. It doesnt have to be too fancy, just a nice, cozy place for the two of us. On the third pass the door appeared, as it always did. Harry turned the doorknob and entered. The room he found inside was simply decorated, yet beautiful just the same. It was smaller than Harry was used to it being, no bigger than his an average bedroom. Opposite the door there was now a small arched window which looked out over the snow-covered grounds. Against the left wall was was the familiar large couch that the Room had provided for Harry and Cedric often before. A thick, gray blanket was draped over one of the arms. In the corner to Harrys right stood a Christmas tree covered in red and green baubles, gold tinsel, and multicolored lights. The lights were powered, of course, by magic rather than electricity. At the top of the tree was a shining silver star. Beside the tree was a fireplace with, as Harry had imagined, a roaring fire, the only source of light in the room other than the window and the lights on the tree. There were even two green stockings attached to the hearth with the names Harry and Cedric embroidered on them in red. Harry gave a short, astonished laugh when he saw these. This room really does provide everything, doesnt it? he thought, amused. Between the tree and the fireplace was the same stereo that the boys had been using for the past week. While he waited for Cedric to arrive, Harry put on some music and laid back on the couch. But he was too anxious to sit still, even for a whole song. Harry shifted in his seat half a dozen times before getting up from the couch entirely. He paced around the room once before deciding to place his presents for Cedric under the Christmas tree. Then he played with their positions a few times before he was struck with the idea to place the Bertie Botts in Cedrics stocking. Harry was just on the verge of doing this when he heard the door open. Looking over he saw Cedric, now changed into a hooded sweatshirt and jeans with a couple of presents tucked under one arm, closing the door behind him. (The inward side of the door, Harry now noticed, had a Christmas wreath with a large red bow hung on it.) Seeing the two gifts Cedric held, Harry immediately grateful that Hermione insisted that he get two. Wow, was all Cedric could say as he gaped at the rooms decorations. His eyes settled on Harry and he asked, gesturing around at the adornments, Did you do all this? I guess so, Harry shrugged. I asked for a place for us to celebrate. Didnt know what to

expect. Well, you did good, Cedric told him. Or the room did, anyway. He approached Harry and kissed him on the forehead. Hi, he murmured softly against Harrys scar. Hi, Harry replied. Holding up his two packages, one medium sized and the other rather small, Cedric asked, What should I do with these? Well, we could exchange right now, Harry suggested slyly. His hands crawled slowly up Cedrics chest before making a sudden snatch for the gifts he held in each hand. Not so fast, Cedric said, pulling them out of reach. Ive had to watch you dance with my best friend all night. Its my turn to have a go at you now. All this dancing, Harry quipped, rolling his eyes. I dont see what all the fuss is about. Cedric looked about for a place to stash his presents. Then, after a moment, he decided to put the smaller one in Harrys stocking, and the other under the tree. Harry noted that both he and Cedric had come to the same conclusion on their own. Though Harry liked that theyd done so, he did not like that he was going to have to wait even longer to see what Cedric got for him. Cedric changed CDs and put on a song Harryd never heard before. It sounded old. Much older than anything Cedric had played for him in the last few days. One dance, Cedric said as he pulled Harry into his arms. Then presents. kay? Rather than give verbal agreement, Harry merely sank into Cedrics embrace. He rested his head on Cedrics shoulder. Harry had to admit, he sort of wanted one dance, too. A mans voice sang.

That certain night, the night we met, / There was magic abroad in the air, There were angels dining at the Ritz / And a nightingale sang in Berkley Square.

It wasnt a bad tune, actually. Old, maybe, but with a sense of timeless romanticism. And Harry was glad, as he wrapped one arm around Cedrics waist and the other around his shoulders, that his last dance of the night was with his boyfriend. As nice as this is, Harry sighed, I think Im going to be glad to be done with dancing for a while after tonight. Cedric laughed. Youll keep a dance for me once in a while, though, right? he asked. Well, that goes without saying. Good. In hardly any time at all, the song finished. Seemingly satisfied, Cedric gave Harry a quick squeeze before pulling away. He went back to the stereo and put in another CD. Harry immediately recognized the singer: Sarah McLachlan. Cedric had played him a few of her songs

before. She had a beautiful voice, and her music was quite nice. A good choice for their exchange, Harry thought. Is it time for presents now? Harry asked, hoping he didnt sound too eager, even though he was. Cedric made a face, like he was taking the question into very serious consideration. That depends, he said. Do you think youve been a good boy this year? It depends on what you mean by a good boy, Harry replied suggestively. Well, if I meant that kind of good, then, yeah, definitely, Cedric laughed. He knelt beside the Rooms tree and motioned for Harry to join him. The boys exchanged packages, grinning sheepishly at each other. Harrys heart fluttered. His first present from a boyfriend! And to think, a year ago he didnt even know he liked boys. He looked at the card, which was more a slip of parchment attached to the bow than a real card. It said, in green ink:

To My Green-Eyed Boy, Happy Christmas! From, Your Hufflepuff Hottie

Without waiting to see if Cedric was opening his present yet, Harry tore at the brightly colored paper. Cedric watched him nervously. Under the paper was a long, rectangular box. Harry tore off the top and found A sweater. And not just any sweater. The exact same sweater hed purchased for Cedric, but instead of green, this one was a dark gray. A small giggle welled up in Harrys chest. He fought it down but was not very successful. The giggle turned into a rolling laughter. Cedric looked hurt by Harrys reaction, which normally wouldve made Harry stop laughing right out, except he couldnt! I didnt I mean, do not like it? Cedric asked with a pained expression. O-open y-yours-s-s, Harry said in the midst of his breathless laughter. Unmistakably peeved, Cedric unwrapped Harrys gift and opened an identical box to find a nearly identical sweater inside. For a moment, he appeared to be too stunned to speak. Then, precisely as Harry had, Cedric broke into a fit of hysterical laughter. Well, at least now I know I have good taste, he supposed. Ohh, but I shouldve gotten you green, as well! No way! Harry protested. We cant walk around in matching sweaters, we dont want to be one of those couples. Besides, I like my gray sweater. It reminds me of your eyes. And this one reminds me of yours, Cedric replied, holding his sweater up. In fact

Cedric yanked off his hoodie, replacing it with his new sweater. Harry readily did the same. The boys sat in their almost-matching sweaters, smiling at each other. Brilliant. Thank you, Harry. Were not done yet! Harry exclaimed, jumping to his feet. Harry rushed over to the fireplace and took down his and Cedrics temporary stockings. He handed Cedric the one with his name on it, and kept the one with his own. They both dove into their stockings, pulling out their remaining gifts. The parcel Harry found was another box, but much smaller, and harder. This time, though, he decided to let Cedric unwrap first. Oh, excellent, Bertie Botts! Cedric said. Not just that, Harry said, leaning over to point out the writing on the package. Its one of those special orders: all spicy flavors. Aw, yes! Cedric cried. His face sparkled with happiness. This is so cool. Thanks! He gave Harry a quick peck on the lips, then said, All right, your turn now. Oh, well, if you insist, Harry said. Ripping off the wrapping paper, Harry found a smallish, hard box covered in a velvety material. It looked like the boxes that the jewelry his uncle gave his aunt came in. A bit bewildered, Harry opened the box. Oh, Cedric. Do you like it? Nestled inside the box was a Snitch, but unlike any Harry had seen before. It was slightly smaller than a normal one, and was silver with bronze wings, instead of the gold with silver wings. And it was on a long chain. It was a necklace. Cedric had gotten him a necklace. Harrys heart leapt into his throat. Its its the most beautiful thing anyones ever given me, Harry said honestly. He tore his eyes away from the Snitch to gaze up at Cedric, who looked like Harrys reaction was the best gift hed gotten all night. Thank you, so much! Its really cool, actually, because its still a working Snitch, Cedric explained. If you take it off the chain, itll fly around and stuff. And you can use your wand to direct it, like, uh, one of those toys that Muggles have, you know, the cars that drive around on their own? Remote-control? Harry offered. Yeah, thats it! Cedric said. The remote-control cars. And it opens! And you can put stuff in it, like, well, not much, obviously. But a note or, I dunno, a key or something small. Its got the same touch-memory as a real Snitch, so itll only open for you. And you, Harry cut in. I want it to open for you, too. Cedric beamed.

Really? Of course, Harry insisted. Youre my boyfriend, and the person who got it for me. I cant imagine not sharing it with you. Do you think we can do that, though? Im sure we can, actually, Cedric replied, because I read the instructions about fifty times. We need to touch it at the same time, and one of us needs to tap it with his wand and say, Set, and then itll only open for us. Then to change who can open it, one of us would tap it and say, Reset, then set it again. He laughed. Theres even a death clause to it if one of the people it allows to open it dies, its automatically reset. Looks like they thought of everything, Harry said, lifting the silver Snitch out of its box. It was smooth and cool to the touch. I didnt bring my wand, did you? Cedric pulled his wand out of the pouch pocket in the front of his sweatshirt. You should never go anywhere without you wand, Harry, Cedric scolded. Rolling his eyes, Harry held the silver Snitch up between them. Cedric touched his left index finger to it, right up against Harrys fingers. Harrys mind flashed on Cedrics finger pressing up against his during their Portkey journey together back in August. Was it really only four months ago that theyd traveled to that campsite together? So much happened in that short amount of time. Okay, you ready? Cedric asked. Harry nodded, and Cedric pressed the tip of his wand to the button on the underside of the Snitch, muttering, Set. He pulled away, leaving the silver Snitch in Harrys hand. Harry tried the small button, and the Snitch immediately snapped open. Grinning, he closed the thing and passed it to Cedric, who also opened it successfully. Cedric returned the Snitch to Harry, who opened and closed the small object over and over, never tiring of it. This is so cool, Harry marveled. I would have been happy if it was simply a plain necklace, but this I love it, I really do. I thank you, Cedric. Really, just He grabbed Cedrics face and kissed him five times in rapid succession. Cedric chuckled into Harrys mouth. Only now I feel stupid, Harry said, looking again at the Snitch necklace. I got you a bag of Bertie Botts and you you got me this. Hey, I like my Bertie Botts! Cedric contended, rubbing Harrys thigh. A thought raced through Harrys mind. A good one. Still, Harry said, closing the jewelry box and putting it aside. He took Cedrics hand and pulled him to his feet. I feel kind of like I owe you. Slowly, deliberately, he led Cedric to the couch. Harrys eyes never left his boyfriends. Well, Cedric grinned, catching the gist of Harrys actions, if youre so inclined, I dont want to deprive you. He sat down on the couch, pulling Harry into his lap. After all, he said as he wrapped his arms around Harry, it is Christmas. And what is Christmas if not a time for giving? Exactly, Harry concurred. Harry dipped his head, and Cedric leaned up, their mouths meeting halfway. Harry braced himself against the back of the couch while Cedrics hands ran up and down his back. After what could

have been either a few minutes or a few hours for all Harry knew (or cared), Cedric shifted so that he was lying across the length of the couch, Harry still with a leg on each side of his midsection. Things developed rapidly from there. Soon their sweaters and T-shirts were piled on the floor beside them. It was a new level of intimacy for them, and they both took full advantage, hands roaming uninhibited. When Harry kissed Cedric's neck, the older boy groaned. Loudly. Harry grinned, knowing the boy's neck was particularly sensitive. Their embrace grew more and more heated. Too heated. Blindingly so, in fact. Before long, and without any warning at all, Harry found himself overwhelmed, to the point where Oh! Oh no. He sat up, still straddling Cedric's waist, and buried his face in his hands. Oh God, oh God, oh, God, he murmured into his fingers. Harry could feel how hot his face was beneath them. Im sorry. Im so sorry. I didnt mean to, it just happened, I sort of lost control, Im such an His hands were pulled away from his face, forcing Harry to look Cedric in the eyes. They were clouded over with concern. Harry, whats wrong? Cedric asked. Was it not, I mean, was it okay? It was a little too okay, Im afraid, Harry replied bitterly. His face grew even hotter as his embarrassed blush deepened. I sort of, uh I kind of Cedric grinned lazily, cheekily. I noticed, he exhaled, raising an eyebrow. It was pretty hot. Yeah, thanks, Harry muttered. Im glad you enjoyed the show. At least one of us was amused by it Harry, Cedric interrupted, sitting up quickly. You dont get it: youre not the only one made, er, a mess just now. Wh-what do you mean? Harry asked, thrown. I told you, Cedric shrugged. It was pretty hot. Seeing you seeing you like that I sort of lost control, too. And suddenly, Harry wanted to laugh. So he did. And he kissed Cedric, not out of sexual desire, but from pure joy. What could have been embarrassing, mortifying even, was unexpectedly wonderful. Just like his feelings for Cedric in the first place. Happy Christmas, Harry breathed against Cedrics cheek. And you, Cedric replied. Even though it hasnt been Christmas for, Harry felt him shift to check his watch, an hour and forty-two minutes. Is that what time it is? Harry asked. Yeah, Cedric said. Long day, huh? Harry grunted derisively in response.

Its felt more like a year, he remarked. I know the feeling, Cedric agreed. After tidying themselves up, the boys settled back down on the couch, Harry with his head resting on Cedrics still-bare chest, listening to the boys heart thump through his ribcage. The fire was burning just as strong as ever. The cracking and snapping of the wood was deeply soothing. And after Cedric pointed out what a long day itd been, Harry did feel very tired. He didnt even have time to take off his glasses before he was fast asleep.

Harry? A gentle yet persistent nudging slowly coaxed Harry awake. He opened his eyes, peering around blearily. His glasses had been removed. He could still tell that the fire had burned out, though. Judging from the blackened, dry look of the wood, itd been some time ago. Harry could also tell that the room was now brightly lit by gray sunlight streaming in through the window. Cedric? he mumbled groggily. Wusgoin on? We fell asleep, Cedric replied. Well, you fell asleep, and I took your glasses off because I wanted to let you rest a little while. Plus, he added guiltily, you looked really cute while you were sleeping. Except I think then I fell asleep, too. Harry sat up and rubbed his eyes. The Room seemed a lot colder in the daylight. While still beautiful, the decorations had lost some of their shine. What time is it? Harry asked. His voice still wasnt entirely awake yet. Then again, neither was he. Eleven, Cedric answered with a glance at his watch. A little after. We missed breakfast, but we also missed the crowds of people returning to their common rooms from the Great Hall. I think we should be able to sneak out unnoticed. Nodding mutely, Harry stood up, stumbled, and then regained his balance. He cracked his neck, which woke him up considerably. Catching sight of Cedrics naked torso, he remembered the full details of the night before and smirked a little as he pulled his new sweater on. Harry grabbed his discarded T-shirt as well, next to which was the jewelry box Cedric had given him. He picked it up and opened it carefully. The necklace inside was just as stunning as the night before. Not wanting to wait another second to wear it, Harry pulled it out and threw the chain around his neck. The silver Snitch settled over his heart. It looks good, Cedric told him. Not to toot your own horn, Harry mocked. Why would I, when I have you to do it for me? Cedric quipped. Dirty, Harry snickered.

Shaking his head with a quiet laugh, Cedric went over to the door. He opened it a crack and surveyed the corridor beyond. It doesnt look like theres anyone out there right now, he announced, looking around at Harry. So Im going to go now, cuz its much more suspicious for me to be on the seventh floor than you. Okay? Harry shrugged. Whatever you think is best. Okay. Cedric looked out again quickly before turning to give Harry a brief goodbye kiss. Ill see you later. Then he was gone, closing the door behind him. Harry waited a minute before departing as well. He cast a final glance around the Room of Requirement first. It really was lovely, with the Christmas decorations and all. Harry wasnt sure if hed ever see the Room this exact way again, and he wanted to remember it. Especially the couch. Once he was satisfied, he opened the door and departed without looking back. He didnt need to check to know that the door was gone. Harry felt exceedingly obvious walking back to the Gryffindor Tower . Every person he passed seemed to stare lingeringly. It was only his imagination though. There was no way anyone could know where hed slept last night. Or what hed been doing immediately before falling asleep, either. Crossing through the portrait hole into the common room, Harry saw Hermione sitting in an armchair beside the fireplace. Reading, of course. She glanced up when Harry entered, looking quite surprised to see him. Harry! Hermione said. Where have you been? Ron said you werent there when he woke up this morning. Her gaze lingered on Harrys chest. Nice necklace, by the way. Harry looked down at the silver Snitch resting over his heart, and smiled. He had a lot to tell her.

What Time is It?

a lack of color

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN What Time is It?

11:32 AM December 26th Gryffindor Common Room Five days, twelve hours, and twenty-three minutes to the New Year.

Telling Hermione about his night out went a lot faster than living it. Looking back, Harry realized that not a lot transpired, really. They danced. They exchanged presents. They got, well horizontal. It was difficult for Harry to gauge what Hermione was thinking when he got to that part. This was partially because he was being very careful not make eye contact while relaying the dirty details. It was an awkward subject, for the both of them. It was also hard to guess what she was feeling because as they spoke Harry was playing with his silver Snitch locket, making it whiz around the room and, sometimes, close by Hermiones head. She did not seem to like this, and that attitude tended to affect her expression. Im glad you had a, er, good night, Hermione said when he was finished, but, Harry, listen. Let me guess, Harry interrupted. Youre concerned that Im too young or something, am I right? Thats not what I was going to say, Hermione responded. If you think youre ready for an intimate physical relationship Can you not call it that? then I trust you. Im only concerned because Well, have you even told Cedric about Sirius yet? Or told Sirius that youre," she paused, and said, that you play Quidditch? Harry frowned. No. Not yet, he added as an afterthought. Before Hermione could say anything, he rushed on, defensively, Ive been busy! Its been Christmas and Ive was trying to learn how to dance and I didnt really have time to think about much else except that and presents and everything. Okay, okay, Hermione said.

Ill do it, Harry told her. Soon. All right, Hermione replied. Im only saying this because Im your friend, you know. I dont want to see you get hurt, either of you. An intim- that thing you have, it can change things. Ill be fine, Hermione, Harry snapped. His hand twitched, causing the Snitch to buzz within an inch of Hermiones nose. Her face jolted backwards, giving Harry a twinge of satisfaction that he immediately felt guilty about. He did know that Hermione was only looking out for him, trying to do what was in his best interest. That didnt mean he was happy to hear what she had to say. Mostly because everything she was saying was exactly what Harry was feeling. Whether he said admitted it or not, Harry had been avoiding telling Cedric and Sirius about each other. He couldnt put his finger on why exactly. He didnt like to think about it too much. He knew he was going to have to. But not yet. At least not until break was over. And as for what she said about their intimate physical relationship, that was something thatd been bothering Harry all morning. What if Hermione was right? What if it did change things? Instead of worrying himself too much, Harry added this to the growing list of Things He Wasnt Thinking About Right Now. As an alternative to worrying, Harry played with his Snitch some more, flicking his wand in a figure eight and watching the way the silver trinket shimmered in the firelight. Harryd never had a toy growing up, let alone one as amazing as the Snitch. He probably couldve spent all of Christmas break simply watching it fly about the room. In between kisses from the boy whod given it to him, of course. So how was the rest of your night? Harry asked idly. Hermione frowned, and turned slightly pink. Concerned and intrigued, Harry directed the Snitch into his open palm so he could give her his undivided attention. Did something happen? Apparently Hermiones evening had been as eventful as his own. Though she tried to downplay the severity of her and Rons argument, Harry could tell it had been bad. Puffy eyes and a hoarse voice were common symptoms among those whod attended the Yule Ball, but Hermiones were much worse than any hed seen so far that morning. He shouldve noticed it sooner. Not for the first time, Harry felt a sharp pang of guilt for the fact that his relationship with Cedric seemed to be coming first a lot these days. Are you guys okay now? he asked. Hermione shook her head. He barely said a word to me this morning, she replied. I passed him coming back from breakfast and asked where you were. He grunted that you werent in bed this morning and kept walking. That might be more my fault, actually, Harry admitted. He had something to tell me last night and I sort of blew him off. I was in a hurry to get up to the Room of Requirement. Not a good night for the three of us, Hermione noted with a sad laugh. The ball made everyone crazy, Harry said. Thankfully we wont have to worry about that anymore. At that moment, Fred and George burst into the common room like an explosion. Were having another ball! Fred announced.

Harry turned to Hermione. Why do I have to open my mouth? he asked her. Weve been in McGonagalls office all morning, George began. Obviously, we said, the ball was a smashing success. And obviously she agreed, Fred chimed in. Obviously. So we proposed a repeat performance, of sorts. It wouldnt be a ball, per se, Fred explained. More like a party. Still music, still dancing, but much less formal. A shindig, if you will, George opined. Oh, I like that, Fred replied. Yes, a shindig. A shindig, Hermione cut in, taking place when? Why, New Years Eve, of course! George declared. Fred unfurled a purple poster hed been holding rolled up in his hands. On it was advertised:

New Years Eve Party! The Great Hall 9 PM to 1 AM

Food, drinks, music, dancing. Casual dress. ALL AGES WELCOME!

Admission: 7 sickles

Seven sickles? Hermione read off the last line. You have to pay admission? Parties dont come cheap, Hermione, George said sagaciously. We of all people know that, Fred added as he pinned the poster to the bulletin board. The Triwizard Committee paid for the Yule Ball, George said. McGonagall said that the only way we could throw a party would be if students contributed. Hence, admission. Were gonna drop the lights at midnight, Fred went on, so that anyone who wants to get in a good New Years kiss can, er, be discreet. He looked at Harry and winked. Harry, having no idea what to make of this gesture, simply made

due with trying not to gape awkwardly. Well, we must be off, George said. He gestured to the rolls of purple parchment Fred was holding. Got to get the word out. Well see you two at the party, if not sooner, Fred reckoned. Lots to do, getting a shindig in order. And, almost as quickly as theyd appeared, the Weasley twins were back out through the portrait hole. There was four seconds of dead silence before the entire common room started buzzing about this new development. Harry and Hermione stared at each other. Maybe itll be fun, Hermione posited. After holding his disbelieving stare for another moment, Harry went back to playing with his Snitch.

7:19 PM December 27th Hogwarts Library Four days, four hours, and forty-one minutes to the New Year.

Despite the fact that their return to classes was still far off, Hermione insisted on getting a jump start on the work that they had been assigned over break. What made matters worse was that Cedric was almost as devoted to doing well in school as she was. So now Harry was getting pressure to do his homework from two sources. This was how, the Sunday evening after Boxing Day, Harry came to be in the library, working on his Transfiguration essay. On the bright side, with both Hermione and Cedric to help him, the work was going rather quickly. For first time since coming to Hogwarts, Harry was going to finish his holiday work early instead of trying to cram it in at the very end. In addition to this benefit, Cedric and Hermione were getting along very well. At one point they became so animated while discussing magical theory that Madam Pince had to come over and shush them. (Actually, at first she shushed Harry, assuming he had been the source of the disturbance, and then was deeply confused to discover that it had been two of Hogwarts best and brightest making all the noise.) So you took Muggle Studies? Cedric asked. In my third year, Hermione nodded. And I found it fascinating, really, but when you pass an exam with three-hundred and twelve percent, its clear that you dont need to be taking the class. That was you!? Cedric laughed. Professor Burbage talks about you all the time. Shes never mentioned you by name, though. I should have figured. You set the bar pretty high for the rest of us, you know.

I was raised by Muggles, Hermione said in her own defense. I had an unfair advantage. Yeah, she never mentioned that either, Cedric grumbled. He turned to Harry. Hows the essay coming? One roll of parchment down, Harry answered, one to go. Not bad. I just need to go into theory of how to change creatures back when performing Cross-Species Switches and Ill be done with Transfiguration. Good boy, Cedric said, pressing his knee affectionately against Harrys under the table. Now, doesnt it feel better to get your work done earlier rather than later? Hermione asked haughtily. Harry tried to glare at her, but couldnt keep up an angry face because she was right. It did feel better. He only wished Ron had been willing to join them. Ron, however, thought it would be a more productive use of his time to play Exploding Snap with Dean and Seamus. So, what do you all think about this New Years Eve party of the Weasleys? Cedric mused. Sounds like it could be fun. Fred and George never disappoint, Harry agreed. Wish I could bring a date, he added, looking Cedric pointedly in the eye. Me too, Cedric said with equal emotion. Hermione rolled her eyes at them. You two are so obvious, Hermione said. Its almost painful to watch. Harry blushed and looked away. Were they really that obvious? Had anyone noticed their interaction? He glanced nervously around the library. It was practically empty, since most students opted to wait until the last few days of break to work on their homework. Still. He didnt want to attract any unwelcome attention if he could avoid it. Hey! Hermione said suddenly. Ive got an idea why dont we all go together? Like, as a group. That way you can be there together but it wont look weird, and you wont have to bring fake dates like the Yule Ball. Thats a great idea, Hermione, Cedric replied, shifting uneasily, really, but wouldnt you be going with Krum? You know, as a date? Hermiones face went blank. Well, right, yeah, she muttered. Im sure he wouldnt mind going as a group, though. I mean, he shouldnt, really. Ill, uh, ask him about it. Next time I see him. Appearing to have lost any interest in conversation, Hermione buried her nose in her textbook. Harry met Cedrics confused stare and shrugged. He could no more fathom Hermiones behavior than the older boy. And rather than try, Harry opened his second roll of parchment to finish his essay.

6:35 PM December 28th The Lake on the Hogwarts Grounds Three days, five hours, and twenty-five minutes to the New Year.

Having finished all of his work for break, an after-dinner stroll over the grounds seemed like the perfect way to spend an evening, despite the chilly weather. So, Monday night, bundled up in heavy coats and their semi-matching sweaters, Harry and Cedric set out over Hogwarts sloping lawns. After passing the Whomping Willow, its branches shivering against the freezing cold, the boys came around the other side of the castle to the lake. The entire surface was frozen solid, except for where the Durmstrang ship was parked on the other side. There was a thin layer of snow over the ice and, as they stepped onto the slippery surface, Cedric took a firm grasp of Harrys hand. Youre holding my hand, Harry observed. Well, you know, walking on ice, Cedric said. I dont want you to slip and fall. Im touched by your concern, Harry replied dryly. Shouldnt we be worried about someone seeing? Its pitch dark out here, Cedric argued. Whos going to see? This didnt do much to appease Harrys nerves. Hermiones comment in the library had him thinking more and more about how obvious he and Cedric were with their affections, their unguarded glances and overfriendly smiles. Moments like their kiss behind the snow bank on Christmas Day took on a whole new light when he thought of them as potential scenarios in which they could be caught. In spite of these concerns, an overwhelming part of Harry was refusing to let go of his boyfriends hand. And Cedric was right, it wasnt likely that they would be spotted. It was too cold for most students to venture out onto the grounds so late, and definitely dark enough that theyd hear anyone approaching before they could be seen. Reassured slightly, Harry returned Cedrics grip. This proved to be a smart move as less than a minute later he crossed a rather slick span of ice. Harrys right foot went flying and he began to plummet to the ground. With lightning-quick speed, Cedric reacted, grabbing Harry under each arm. He was too late to prevent Harry from falling entirely, but was able to make it a much softer landing for him. Laughing nervously, he settled onto the lakes surface beside Harry. Maybe we should take a break from walking for a little while, Cedric proposed. Good idea. Cedric stretched out flat on his back on the ice. Harry inched closer to him and lay so his body half-covered Cedrics, Harrys head positioned over Cedrics heart. He could barely hear it through all the layers of clothing the older boy was wearing. Barely, but he did hear it, thumping away rapidly. Harrys was going just as fast, mostly from the scare of his near fall. Harry knew, however, that it was also in large part because of his proximity to Cedric. He was amazed that his body still reacted so strongly to the Hufflepuff Hottie after all this time. Harry wondered if there

would ever come a time when he didnt feel that intensely about Cedric. He hoped there wouldnt. Harry? Cedric murmured after a while. Hmm? Theres something I think we should talk about, he said. Harry froze. (Which seemed appropriate, considering the only thing keeping him from literally freezing was Cedrics body heat.) Tonight was the first time the two of them had been alone since the night of the Yule Ball, and what had come after. As a result, they had not yet discussed the dirty deeds they had committed. Harrys hand found its way unconsciously to the Snitch around his neck and he let out a low, shaky breath. Yeah? Yeah, Cedric replied. Look, I dont want to worry you or anything, but Can I say something first? Harry asked quickly. Of course, Cedric said. Then, screwing up his Gryffindor courage, Harry said, I dont think Im ready. For us to be, you know, physical. Its not that I dont find you attractive, because, well, cmon mate, look at you. And I know you find me attractive, and I appreciate that, a lot, actually. Its not because I think Im too young, either. I dont. In fact, the reason Im saying this is because I think Im old enough to realize that rushing into sex, even when you are mature enough, can still ruin a relationship. Im not saying Ill never be ready, or even that it wont be sooner rather than later. But for now Im really content with where were at, and Id like it to stay that way. A silence fell over the two of them. Nothing in Cedrics body language gave Harry any indication what he was feeling. I mean, if thats all right with you, Harry added when the quiet got to be too much. Cedric sighed, deeply. Harry, he said finally, "what did I tell you on our first date?" "That my eyes are festively ridiculous?" "Yes, that, and what else?" Harry shrugged. I want you to listen to me very carefully," Cedric said, "and really hear what Im saying: I care about you, a lot. And I will never, ever try and pressure you into something youre not ready for. Dont get me wrong, Friday night was fantastic. Amazing. Wonderful. But I am willing to wait as long as it takes for a repeat performance. Cedric pulled Harry closer to him. Im in this for more than your sexy body, no matter how sexy it is. Good, Harry chuckled. Im glad we cleared that up. Me too, Cedric agreed. But, uhm why did you bring it up?

Harry blinked. I thought that was the thing you wanted to talk about. Noo, Cedric said. I was going to say that Cho told me she sort of has a crush on Ron. Oh, Harry said, surprised. Then, more seriously, Oh. Ohhh, crap. Crap? Well, maybe crap, Harry replied. I mean, theres the whole Ron/Hermione issue. Ah, Cedric uttered. Yeah, Harry said. But Hermione is with Krum, Cedric pointed out. And as far as this school knows, youre with Cho, Harry countered. Hm, Cedric grunted. Exactly. This party is going to be interesting, Cedric remarked. Undoubtedly, Harry concurred.

10:03 AM December 29th Entrance Hall Two days, thirteen hours, fifty-seven minutes to the New Year.

Hey, cutie, Cho said blithely as she passed Harry on the marble staircase. Hi, Cho, Harry replied, attempting to react coolly to her off-color greeting. Hey, can I talk to you for a second? she asked. Sure, Harry answered. The two moved to one side of the marble staircase, not ten steps from where, weeks earlier, Cho had rejected Harrys invitation to go with him to the Yule Ball. Ricky told me that he told you what I told him, Cho said quickly, which, given the sentence structure, could not have been easy. You know, about how I sort of like Ron?

Unsure how to respond to this, Harry simply nodded. Although he and Cedric hadnt discussed the matter of Chos feelings for Ron any further the night before, Harry had decided on his own not to get involved if he could avoid it. Well, I was wondering, she began nervously, if you could maybe find out if he likes me back? Oh. Cho. I dunno Harry frowned. Please? she insisted, wringing her hands. I mean, I just want to know if I might have a shot. Could you ask him? Today, maybe? It was strange to see Cho look so distressed. Hed come to know her as quite a vivacious, confident girl. Perhaps that was all a front. Having her last boyfriend turn out to be gay probably didnt do much for her self-esteem. Harry wanted very badly to tell her no, sorry, he would not feel comfortable doing that. He couldnt bring himself to say it, though. Sure, Harry found himself saying. Ill try and ask him tonight. Cho beamed. Harry wondered how hed let himself get in the middle of this.

11:54 PM December 29th Gryffindor Boys Fourth Year Dormitory Two days and six minutes to the New Year.

Cho fancies you. Rons head popped up, surprised. Seriously? It had taken Harry all day to find the right moment to tell Ron. Whenever he and Ron were together, they were surrounded by other people; Neville, the twins, Hermione. He didnt want to say something about Cho to Ron with any of them around least of all Hermione. Then Ron decided to turn in while Neville, Dean and Seamus were all staying up. Knowing this meant they would have the dormitory to themselves, Harry jumped at his chance. Yeah, seriously, Harry verified. Sooo do you think you might like her back? Ron shrugged. Anything more committal? Shes all right, Ron elaborated. Pretty hot. I never thought about it, because, well

I liked her, Harry filled in. Yeah, Ron agreed. Off limits. But now? Ron shrugged again. Maybe. Harry sighed, knowing he would get nothing else out of Ron tonight. Rather than make another futile attempt, Harry rolled over and went to sleep.

12:59 PM December 30th An empty First Floor classroom One day, eleven hours, and one minute to the New Year.

Cho, what are you doing? Harry cried out as the girl dragged him into an empty classroom on the first floor. I wanted to know how your talk with Ron went, she explained, shutting the door behind them. So? Howd it go? Harry stared blankly for a minute. It hadnt exactly gone at all. Ron barely acknowledged Harry had said anything at all. Harry didnt want to let Cho know that, however, because that would probably hurt her feelings. Deciding that a little embellishment was better than hurting Cho, Harry answered, Uh, it went good. Great. Good or great? Great, Harry asserted. Yeah. He, uh, he seemed interested. He did? Cho said, smiling a bit. Yes, Harry said. He definitely seemed interested. So, do you think you might, like, ask him out or something? Well, Ill see him tomorrow night, right? Cho replied. I mean, Cedric said Hermione suggested we all go together. Ill just talk to him then. A horrible wave of awareness washed over Harry. Yeah, he said. Yeah, Hermione said that. We can all go together. And then well all be there.

All of us. Together.

9:21 PM December 30th Gryffindor Common Room One day, two hours, and thirty-nine minutes to the New Year.

As hard as it was to breach the subject of Cho liking Ron with Ron himself, it was even more difficult to say it to Hermione. Harry truly had no idea how she would respond. She was Hermione, so it was safe to assume that she wouldnt make a scene. Even so, Harry was fairly certain that she would have some sort of reaction. Best to err on the side of caution, he thought. They were both reading by the fire that night when Harry figured he should say something before it was too late. Say, Hermione, he said. You know Cho Yeah, I think shes great, Hermione said. She was loads of help getting ready for the ball. Uh-huh, listen, Harry began. She sort of told me that she, er, likes Ron. Hermiones large book slipped a fraction of an inch out of her hands. She snatched it with unnecessary force, crumpling a few pages. Oh, she said plainly. I see. Im sure its only a little crush, Harry assured her. Nothing to worry about, yknow? No, thats wonderful, Hermione said. Her voice had gotten the tiniest bit higher. I mean, well, maybe not wonderful, exactly, but good. Its good. Really. Uhm, when did you, uh, find this out? Just this week! Harry answered quickly. Cedric told me, and then she cornered me after lunch the other day to ask me to f Realizing too late the sentence he had started, Harry had no choice but to finish it: To find out if he liked her, too. Really? Hermione inquired, voice raising another hair. And what did he say? For a long minute Harry stared at the carpet in front of the fireplace. He wanted nothing more at the moment than to crawl under it and hide from this awkward conversation. (Actually, what he really wanted was to not be having the conversation, but it was too late now.) Uh, he, er, said maybe, Harry admitted dully.

Oh, Hermione squeaked. Hermione No, thats great, she insisted, though her voice had gotten quite high and her face was fixed in a rather exaggerated impersonation of delight. Really. Thats great, thats just so great. I have Viktor and Ron Ron has Cho now, that is just its great. Really great. She slammed her book shut. Wow. I am tired. I think I will go to bed now. Great. Without another word Hermione got to her feet and rushed up the staircase to her dormitory. A horrible, ugly feeling had settled in Harrys stomach. He wondered if he did he right thing by telling her and, even worse, if his, her, and Rons friendship would ever be the same again.

7:43 PM December 31st The Room of Requirement Four hours and seventeen minutes to the New Year.

So now Hermiones ignoring Ron, Harry told Cedric, and he has no idea why shes doing it. The room tonight was dimly lit, and configured similarly to the way it was Christmas night, except without the decorations. There was still their couch and the fireplace and the window to watch the falling snow. No tree, though, and no stockings. That was fine by Harry. All he truly needed was the boy whose arms were wrapped around him on the couch, and that was something the room could never provide. That sucks, Cedric murmured, mouth pressed to the side of Harrys head. Plus, Rons still being strange, Harry said. It came out more dismal than he intended it to. Its not a big deal, really. He probably just has his own stuff going on, or something. Seeing Hermione with Krum cant exactly be fun for him. That doesnt make it okay for him to be weird with you though, Cedric said. Do you think, maybe, hes being so strange. Because of us? Harry supplied I did. And I dont know. He says hes fine with it, which, maybe he is. Harry sighed. I want to believe him. I do, too, Cedric agreed. Then he said, So. Hermione likes Ron. Probably, Harry said. But shes dating Krum. Which is upsetting Ron, because he likes her. Even though hed never admit it, Harry added.

And now Cho likes Ron, and thinks Ron likes her, Cedric said. Which he might, Harry said. But hes definitely not over Hermione. And all of these people are going to be at the party together, Cedric finished. There was a pregnant pause as the two boys took all this information in. Straight people have so much drama, Harry concluded. They shared a long laugh over that. Then Cedric sat up, pulling away from Harry. Harry groaned his disapproval of this action. He stood and stretched. Okay, Cedric said. I need to go change and get ready for this disaster. Why do you need to change? Harry wondered. You look sexy enough to me already. Cedric gawked at him. Mr. Potter, such language! he admonished. I dont think Ive ever heard you use that word before. What can I say, Harry replied. Im just full of surprises. That you are, Cedric said. He bent forward to give Harry a goodbye kiss. Ill see you in the Great Hall. Harry nodded. After Cedric left, he lay back on the couch by himself for a few minutes to collect his thoughts. He wasnt sure what to expect from Fred and Georges party. Disaster definitely could be an applicable adjective. Harry just hoped it wouldnt turn into a tragedy.

9:18 PM December 31st The Great Hall Two hours and forty-two minutes to the New Year.

Fashionably late seemed like the way to go for arriving at the party. There was a good crowd already in the Great Hall when Harry and Ron arrived, but the place wasnt packed yet. Fred and George had a burly fifth year Gryffindor student taking peoples admission fee at the door. The twins themselves were weaving in and out of the multitude of partygoers, making their rounds, seeing to it that everyone was having a good time. Harry scanned the hall for any sign of Cedric or Cho but couldnt seem to find them. He saw Dean and Seamus over by the drink table. The Patil twins were being served punch by the

Beauxbatons boys theyd hooked up with at the Yule Ball. Harry couldnt help noticing a third year girl with long blond hair float pass by dreamily wearing a pair of orange radish earrings and a very large clock around her neck. But no sign of Cedric. He even spotted Fleur Delacour, again escorted by Roger Davies. She was wearing a scandalously short skirt with an extremely tight top. More heads turned in her direction than ever before, Rons among them. Even Harry felt a bit of a pull in her direction. He wondered why she even bothered to dress provocatively when boys would lose their minds over her if she wore ratty sweats and a parka. And what are you looking at? an angry voice demanded. Harry spun around and found himself face to face with Cedric. The older boy had changed, as he said he would. Seeing what he was wearing, Harry was very glad Cedric didnt listen when he said he was sexy enough already. He was now wearing a body-hugging, dark gray button-down shirt with the sleeves rolled up below his elbows, and tight khakis with black dress shoes. Harry now felt severely underdressed in his far-too-small black T-shirt, his faded, tattered jeans with large, obvious holes on the left knee and right thigh, and his old, well-worn trainers. Nothing, Harry lied. Just scanning the crowd. Looking for you two. Sure you were, Cho permitted. Harry blushed, ashamed. He looked at Cedric apologetically, but Cedric was giving him a genuine smile, which alleviated some of Harrys shame. He let out a shaky breath, turning his attention to the other two. Cho was peeking nervously at Ron, who was giving the newcomers an obviously forced smile. Harry wanted smack him a little bit. Was it really so hard for him to make an effort? Cho, you look nice, Harry said, with a pointed glance at Ron. Apparently Ron wasnt a complete moron, because he caught Harrys look and mumbled, Yeah, uh, your, er, your top is, uhm, its nice. Thanks, she replied shyly. I like your T-shirt. Itsbright. Ron was wearing a vividly orange Chudley Cannons shirt. Yeah, Ron agreed. Harry looked to Cedric, who was already staring back. They shared a smile over how uncomfortable Ron and Cho were being with each other. Hello, all, a voice called gaily. From out of the crowd stepped Hermione and Viktor. Speaking of uncomfortable, Harry thought, taking a huge, gulping breath. They stood there, in a circle, reminding Harry strongly of a similar situation from the Yule Ball, only this time with Ron in Parvatis place, which made the whole thing all the more uncomfortable. How is everyone tonight? Hermione asked in a fake, overly friendly voice that Harry had never heard her use before. Whats got you so cheerful? Ron griped.

I just think its a wonderful party, Hermione answered, taking hold of Viktors arm. Glad you think so, Hermione, George said, appearing on Harrys left. We hope youre all enjoying yourselves as much as the lovely Miss Granger is, Fred added, popping up on Harrys right. Yeah, you guys did a great job, Cedric told them. Ah, Diggory, its what we do, George informed him. Bringing joy to the students of Hogwarts is our lifes calling. Well, if anyone is suited for such a calling, it would be the two of you, Harry said. Why, thank you, Harry, Fred replied graciously. Now, you can all probably figure out the drill. Food and drinks on the long table to the side. Smaller tables off the dance floor for those of you who dont feel much like dancing. And at midnight, we drop the lights. So everyone can get in a private little New Years snog, George said, nudging Harry playfully with his elbow. Hey! Fred cried out suddenly. He was glaring a boy who had just bumped into him while passing their group. He was a younger student, couldnt have been much older than twelve. He looked extremely nervous to be here. He also looked very out of place because, unlike the other students around him who were dressed casually, he was wearing his school clothes, even his tie. Green and silver Slytherin colors. Oh, s-sorry, he stammered. I d-didnt mean t-t-to Oy, you! George thundered, moving to stand beside his brother. How did you get in? We gave McLaggen very specific instructions to keep your lot out. The boy froze like a deer in headlights. Fred and George towered over him. The boys face turned bright red. Well? What do you think youre doing here? Fred demanded. Yeah, no future Death Eaters allowed, George said. Looking between them, the boy swallowed nervously. He opened his mouth in an attempt to speak, but couldnt form words. He was shaking. A figure stepped between him and the twins. It was Cedric. Cmon, guys, he pleaded. Hes not doing anything wrong. Hes a Slytherin, George argued. Thats good enough for me. Yeah, Cedric granted. And Im a Hufflepuff. Which I guess is why I dont see any reason we all cant get along. The twins didnt appear to be backing down, so he continued, Look, if he makes any trouble, Ill take care of it. But until then, why dont we give him the benefit of the doubt, okay? Fred and George regarded Cedric for a minute. Harry held his breath nervously. He really did not want an altercation between them and his boyfriend to ensue, especially because he knew how underhanded the Weasley twins tended to get. They looked at each other for a second, then

shrugged. Fred slapped Cedric lightly on the shoulder and leaned in to whisper something to him. Then the twins turned to the rest of the group. Well, I think weve spent enough time with you lot, Fred told them. Yeah, weve got guests to attend to, George said. Enjoy the party. He looked at the young Slytherin one more time and said, with hardly any malice, Watch yourself, kid. The twins departed. Harry wondered if they were headed off to reprimand their bouncer for letting a Slytherin in. Cedric turned to the young boy, who appeared to be rooted to the spot where Fred and George accosted him. You okay? Cedric asked, placing a hand on the boys shoulder. The boy nodded fervently, eyes wide as Galleons. All right, go on then. Have a good time. As the boy departed, he called, And lose that tie! Its a party! He turned back to the rest of the group. That was really sweet, Harry said quietly. Well, I for one have had enough with this drama, Cho informed them. Er, Ron, do you want to have a dance? Sure, Ron answered unenthusiastically. The two of them disappeared onto the dance floor. Hermione frowned as she watched them go, then pulled Viktor angrily onto the floor as well. This left Cedric and Harry, the only real couple among them, staring awkwardly at the floor.

10:37 PM December 31st The Great Hall (again) One hour and twenty-three minutes to the New Year.

You are such a snob! That is simply not true! It is true! Cedric accused. And whats worse is that you know its true and youre denying it! Harry let out a frustrated sigh and slumped back in his seat. He and Cedric had been sitting at their table on a darkened corner of the Great Hall for about an hour, just talking, trying to remain inconspicuous. They were visited occasionally by friends but for the most part were left alone. While Harry preferred their usual night in, cuddling up in the Room of Requirement, it was nice being out. Sitting there together, on display like that, it almost felt like they were a real, open couple.

That is, until Harry insulted the song that was playing. Then Cedric started pouting about Harrys allegedly pretentious taste in music. Its just so Harry struggled to find the right word to describe the song, settling finally on, Eighties. Snob! Cedric cried in outrage. Just because a song has the sound of a certain era is no reason to discriminate against it! Why not? I what? Why is that no reason to discriminate against it? Harry asked reasonably. Cedric stared. I dont even know how to answer that, he said flatly. Cedric took a swig of butterbeer, then put the bottle back on the table with a heavy thump. Youre completely unreasonable. That is an exaggeration, Harry debated. No, it isnt, Cedric shot back. And if you dont change your mind, Im going to be forced to sing. Oh, but thats not unreasonable. In you Ive found a story I want to keep hearing, Cedric sang. In you I see all colors, not just black or white. He started dancing a little in his chair, moving his shoulders and bopping his head. Harry rolled his eyes and took a quick look around to see if anyone was watching. In you I find a reason and hope for all dreamers, Cedric continued. You are my fill, youre my supply of love and pride. If I say Ive changed my mind, will you stop? Harry laughed. Never! Cedric exclaimed. Why is Ric having a fit? Cho dropped into the empty chair next to Harry, and Ron into the one beside her. She was flushed from dancing, but seemed happy. Ron looked pretty disinterested. He thinks hes dancing, Harry told her. Hey! Oh, right, Cho said. I should have recognized the symptoms. Hey! Cedric repeated. If Im such a horrible dancer then Harry would be too. Im the one who taught him! Merlin, Cedric, shout that a little louder, why dont you, Harry admonished, sinking a bit lower in his seat.

Right, Cedric replied, shamefaced. Sorry. Cedrics pained expression filled Harry with an immediate sense of remorse. Whatever reservations he had certainly werent Cedrics fault, and it wasnt right to take them out on him. Its okay, Harry told him. Forget I said anything. He tapped Cedrics foot with his own under the table. Cedrics frown turned up a fraction. Harry smiled. He was about to ask Ron and Cho how their night was going when Hermione and Krum approached their table. Heyyy, she said affably. Hows everybody doing? Everybody gave a noncommittal grumble in response. Ron jumped out of his seat to offer it to Hermione, which she took without thanks. Krum frowned at Ron. Thats good, Hermione said. She turned to the Ravenclaw girl beside her. Cho, I love your shirt. Personally, I wouldnt have the guts to go sleeveless with arms like that, but I admire your courage. Cho blinked. Thank you, Hermione, she replied, recovering nicely. You did a really admirable job with your makeup. I mean, that eye shadow completely clashes with what youre wearing, but seeing as you barely used any I guess youre safe. Its really just good to see you finally making any effort. Well, some people believe less is more, Hermione countered. Caking on as much as you can doesnt work for everyone. I think your makeup looks fine, Ron muttered, eyes glued to the table. The passive-aggressively bickering girls turned around to glare at him. What did you say? Hermione asked irritably. Which one of us were you talking to? Cho demanded, making the question sound like a threat. Ron looked at the two of them. He seemed stunned that they even heard him over their less-thansubtle barbs at each other. He gaped wordlessly at them like a fish gulping for water. I need a drink, he said at last. He disappeared so quickly that Harry thought he mightve Disapparated away. Cho and Hermione glanced at each other, then looked away quickly. They both seemed all of a sudden uncomfortable. Im going to use the bathroom, Cho said, rising from her seat. Excuse me, Hermione said, also standing and wandering off in the opposite direction. Krum followed obediently. Harry and Cedric stared at each other across the vacated table. And we thought we had problems, Harry said.

11:56 PM December 31st The Great Hall (still) Four minutes to the New Year.

Students began gearing up for midnight at half-past eleven. As the hour drew closer, the energy among the revelers intensified, growing more frenzied by the minute. Almost midnight, Cedric observed. We should probably, I dont know, get ourselves ready for it, or something. Yeah, Harry concurred. Yeah, I know. Im just waiting. Cedric nodded. Neither Harry nor Cedric had brought up the awkward moment with their friends since it happened. Even so, Harry knew it was weighing heavily on both of them. They talked and joked and laughed but Harry saw the way Cedric kept scanning the crowd. Probably looking for Cho the same way Harry was looking for Ron and Hermione. We havent seen any of them for an hour, Cedric said, breaking their unspoken agreement of silence. I dont think its likely that we will again tonight. Not at this point. As if to purposely contradict Cedrics statement, Viktor Krum ambled up to their table. He looked more disgruntled than usual. Haff you seen Herm-own-ninny? he asked them. Last time we saw her was the last time we saw you, Harry answered honestly. You lost track of her? I lost her in the crowd, Krum replied hotly, clearly annoyed by the accusation. He eyed them suspiciously. I thought you vere vith that Cho girl, he said to Cedric. Vy vas she vith the Weasley? Cedric swallowed uncomfortably. Well, Cho and I are friends, he replied. We were just went to the ball as friends. Krum looked at them both again, then nodded curtly and stormed off. Harry watched him go, his stomach tying up in knots. The Bulgarians peculiar interrogation probably had more to do with his own drama than with Harry and Cedric. Probably. And if not, well Harry added that possibility to the Not Thinking About It list. That was weird, Cedric said, making the whole ignoring-it thing a little harder for Harry. I wonder what happened to Hermione, Harry said.

Cedric only shrugged in response, but at least the segue got him to drop the subject of Viktors behavior. He lifted his Butterbeer bottle, then, seeming to remember that hed drained it twenty minutes ago, put it back down. Cedric looked around. Only a few minutes left, he noted. Do you think that Fred and George are really turning out the lights at midnight? Lying about that is the kind of thing they would do, Harry mused. But they seemed genuine. Harry gulped down the last of his own Butterbeer and dropped the bottle back down on the table. The warm liquid washed away his lingering doubts, leaving wild and lascivious thoughts in their wake. Still, he said, we, uh, might want to find a private corner. Just in case. Cedric grinned. Really? he said. You wanna He lowered his voice. You wanna kiss at midnight? Here? Its a little risky, Harry admitted. Usually Im the risk taker, Cedric pointed out. Hey, which one of us initiated the first kiss? Harry responded. True. And outside a tent full of people, I might add, Harry went on. Besides: Im full of surprises, remember? And frankly, you look too good not to risk it. I look good? Cedric scoffed. What about you, with your tight shirt and your suggestively torn jeans? Ive been checking out whats through those holes all night. Were you trying to turn me on, Potter? Harry blushed. Leave it to Cedric to see his raggedy, hand-me-down clothes and think they were sexy. He shrugged, playing it off coolly. Cedric looked around, confirming that no one was watching. Lets go, he said. He rose out of his seat, and Harry followed. They made their way through the pack of partygoers, Cedric leading the way to a secluded back corner. It was stupid and impulsive and risky but Harry couldnt help himself. There was no way he could not kiss Cedric into the New Year. Besides, no one seemed to notice the two Hogwarts champions going off together. When they reached the corner, Cedric pulled Harry into his arms. Harrys hand roamed over Cedrics body, loving the tight fit of his nice clothes. Ive wanted to get my hands on you all night, he murmured. Ditto, Cedric replied, pulling Harry close by his waist. Ten! the crowd began chanting. Nine! Eight! You ready? Cedric asked. Seven! Six! Five!

As Ill ever be, Harry responded, heart beating out of his chest. Four! Three! Here we go, Cedric whispered. Two! One!

12:00 AM January 1st The New Year.

As the lights fell, Harry and Cedric dove for each other simultaneously. The crowd cheered in the New Year, but all Harry could hear was the labored breathing of his boyfriend, all he could smell was Cedrics cologne. All he could feel was Cedrics hands, his lips. Happy New Year! the people screamed. If I can start every year like this, Harry thought to himself, Ill be happy for the rest of my days.

He Wanted to Say

a lack of color

CHAPTER NINETEEN He Wanted to Say

Unfortunately, for Harry and the rest of the Hogwarts student body, holiday break couldnt last forever. The last few days following New Years were gone in the blink of an eye and, before they knew it, classes had resumed. And if that werent bad enough, there was also the fallout of Rita Skeeters article declaring that Hagrid was a half-giant. (This, incidentally, was what Ron had been trying to tell Harry after the Yule Ball.) By the time that situation had resolved itself, and Hagrid was ready to come out of hiding, it was already two weeks into the term. February was fast approaching, and with it the second task of the Triwizard Tournament. With everything that had been happening over the past month, Harry completely forgot about his duties as a Hogwarts champion. Truth be told, he had no idea what he was doing with the egg. Harry worked determinedly on it for several days after telling Hagrid he was doing great with it. No matter what he did, though, Harry couldnt figure the damn thing out. You could always ask Cedric for advice, Hermione suggested lightly one night at dinner. But Hermione, Ron replied with an ironic grin, wouldnt that be cheating? Im not saying Harry should copy him or anything, Hermione elaborated. However, if Harry really doesnt understand it, theres no shame in getting a tip or two. She turned her attention back to Harry. After all, you told him about the dragons in the first task. That was different! Harry argued. I told him because everyone knew about the dragons except him. Then, sheepishly, he added, All right, and maybe because I liked him. But still! I dunno, this feels different. Its like Im taking advantage of our relationship or something. Is that weird? Of course not, Hermione assured him. If anything, Im glad you dont want to ask Cedric simply because you can. That being said, are you out of your fucking mind? Rons silverware clattered to the floor as he dropped it out of shock. Merlins beard, Hermione! he cried. Yeah, really, Harry agreed. Well, you need to come to your senses, Hermione said. Harry, the task is almost a month away at this point. And in case youve forgotten, theres that whole thing where we think someone is using the Tournament to try and kill you.

I do so often forget when someones trying to kill me, Harry quipped, skewering a piece of carrot. Dont be glib, Hermione warned, you know Im right. Im proud of you for wanting to stay honest. But really, just ask him. Ill think about it, Harry relented. I want to try and do it on my own. But Ill think about it.

Over the next few days, Harry thought about Hermiones proposal, as hed promised. Every time he met a dead end with the egg, the idea of asking Cedric about it looked more appealing. When he had tried by himself for a week, and grown so sick of the eggs wailing that he wanted to puncture his eardrums with his own wand, Harry caved at last. As usual, they met in the Room of Requirement. That night, however, was their two month anniversary and, although they had agreed not to make a big deal out of it, Harry wanted to do something special for his boyfriend. Hed noticed recently the way Cedric looked forlornly over the snowy slopes of Hogwarts, clearly pining for greener scenery. Not wanting him to have to wait months on end for the change of season, Harry decided to put the Rooms limits to the test. As he paced in front of the blank wall that hid their secret spot, Harry envisioned a perfect midsummer evening, warm but not uncomfortably so, and an expanse of lush, green grass. He didnt think too much on specifics, knowing the Room of Requirement was good at filling in the blanks. Once the three passes were complete, Harry pushed open the newly-appeared door and stepped into a room unlike any hed ever seen before. The room was dark, lit softly by a glow from above. In the glow Harry could see the room had become circular, and larger than he had ever seen it before. It was easily as big as the entrance hall. The hard stone floor was replaced with rich, springy grass. The wall was only about as tall as the door, and where it ended the ceiling became a high-arcing dome. Like the ceiling in the Great Hall, it was enchanted to reflect the night sky outside the castle. The glow lighting the room was coming from the hundreds of stars up above. It was all so realistic that Harry couldve sworn hed stepped through that door into a field in the middle of June. Minutes later, when Cedric entered the Room, the first thing he did (after being bowled over by Harrys wonderful surprise and kissing him in thanks) was to take off his shoes and socks so that he could feel the dewy grass with his bare feet. Seeing no reason why not to, Harry followed suit. It felt strange but pleasant. Cedric was overjoyed with the small oasis Harry had conjured. He wowed Harry by demonstrating a forward flip, then tried teaching Harry how to do it too. It wasnt easy, but the part where Cedric held onto Harrys waist to steady him was quite enjoyable. Once Harry was able to do a mediocre flip without assistance, they decided to take a break. Sprawled out on their backs under the simulated night sky, Cedric sighed. Im going to take you camping someday, he promised. The Muggle way. With a little tent and a campfire. And one sleeping bag for the two of us to share? Harry mused.

Ooh, I like the sound of that, Cedric chuckled. I had a feeling you might, Harry said. Then a thought occurred to him: Do you think about that a lot? You and me in a sleeping bag? Cedric asked cheekily. Wellll, not all the time, but often enough. Ha ha, Harry said sarcastically. I meant, you know, things like the camping. The future. Do you think about stuff like that? Cedric sighed deeply. Sometimes, he answered. I think about what things will be like, after the tournament, and we dont really have to hide anymore. What do you mean? Well, the only reason were working so hard to keep us a secret is because of the tournament, right? Cedric said. Because its bad enough that theres two Hogwarts champions, things would be even worse if people found out we were together. But once the tournaments over, it wont matter who finds out. Hmm, was Harrys response. In his head, Harry wasnt so silent. His mind was racing over what Cedric had said. He, Harry, had never given much thought to coming out on such a grand scale. He was still getting used to just the idea of being gay. Harry didnt know if he was ready for that, to be so open, to have the whole student body of Hogwarts know about him, and about him and Cedric. He didnt know if hed ever be ready for that. They lay in silence for a few minutes, gazing up at the starry sky as a warm summer breeze passed over them. After a while, Harry remembered what he wanted to ask Cedric, about the Triwizard clue. He still didnt feel completely comfortable doing it, and considered not saying anything at all. Then he thought about how rapidly the second task was coming up. There really was no justifying not asking. Soo, Harry began nonchalantly, have you been able to crack your egg yet? Funny, Cedric commented. Actually, Ive been wanting to talk to you about that. I received a bit of advice about the egg, and I wanted to share it with you, but I didnt know if you would think it was, like, cheating, for us to work on it together. Harry was quiet for a moment, contemplating. He was surprised by this new piece of information, that someone had given Cedric a tip on the egg. I see what you mean, Harry said. Ive given that a lot of thought myself, because Ive sort of been dying to ask you for help all night Hah. and I havent been able to come up with a good answer, Harry continued. But if were working off of information someone else gave you, its already sort of cheating. Good point, Cedric replied.

Where did this advice come from, anyway? Harry asked. Youre not going to believe this, Cedric told him, before announcing the informants name: Professor Moody. Mad-Eye!? Harry marveled. Are you serious? Yup, Cedric confirmed. It was so weird. About a week ago he had me stay after class to ask how I was doing with the clue. I told him I hadnt been able to make much of it. So, get this, he tells me: take a bath. Wha-? Yeah! He tells me to take a bath, take the egg, and to mull things over in the hot water. How weird is that!?! Maybe hes coming on to you, Harry kidded with a laugh. Eugh! Cedric groaned. Not funny! He shuddered comically. So, what do you think? I told you, Harry said, Moody was probably coming on Not about that! Cedric shouted. We are done talking about that, forever. I meant about the bath thing. Well, I dont really know what he means, Harry replied. But you might as well try it. Anything is worth trying at this point, right? Oh so very true, Cedric said. He cleared his throat, and asked, Do you want to try it with me? What, like, Harry blushed, take a bath with you? I guess you could put it that way, yeah, Cedric answered. We could use the prefects bathroom again. What do you say? Harry didnt know what to say. Since their frolic on Christmas night, the most sexual their encounters had gotten were a few quick gropes. But that was a month ago. Harry knew that there could quite possibly be no sexual connotation to the invitation, and that Cedric could merely be offering to let him help figure out the egg. Still, Harry couldnt keep his mind from wandering and wondering what might happen if they took that plunge into the bath together. He gulped, and felt his pants tighten uncomfortably. He didnt know what the right answer to Cedrics proposition was, but he knew what he wanted to say. Sure.

They decided to wait until Tuesday night to work on the clue. Neither of them had class first thing Wednesday morning, so they could stay as long as they needed without having to worry about being up early. Cedric met Harry at the entrance to Gryffindor Tower. They hadnt done this in a long while. Not

since they first started dating, when Cedric would escort him to the prefects bathroom so that, in case they got caught, they wouldnt get in trouble, given Cedrics prefect status. At first Harry couldnt see the necessity of it; after all, hed made it to the Great Hall on his own the night of their first date. Then one night they ran into Professor Flitwick as they were heading back, and it didnt feel so pointless. After that, whenever they went out after curfew, Harry let Cedric escort him from and back to his dormitory. Things were slightly tense when they arrived at the bathroom. Harry felt almost as much trepidation upon entering as he did on their first date. While Cedric filled the bath, Harry stood by watching uneasily. He didnt know what he should do. Should he get ready while Cedric worked? Should he wait? And how far should he undress, anyway? He hadnt brought swim trunks because, frankly, he didnt own any. So would he simply remove his shirt, or undress down to his boxers, or even undress completely? Harry was paralyzed with indecision. The squeak of the final tap turning off brought Harry out of his reverie. Cedric stood and smiled at him, bashfully. So, Cedric said. So. The boys smiled at each other nervously, neither sure what to do next. Then, suddenly, the knob on the bathroom door began to turn. Their heads whipped toward the entrance. Fortunately, Cedric had bolted it, so the door didnt budge, though not for the attempted intruders lack of trying. He jiggled the knob and banged on the door several times. Harry looked at Cedric, who was biting his lip tensely. What should we do? he whispered. Frowning, Cedric approached the door, and Harry followed. Cedric motioned for Harry to stand behind the door, then took a breath, undid the bolt, and opened it a crack. Oh, a surprised voice said. Diggory. Its you. Yeah, Cedric replied pleasantly. Hey. Whats up? Whats up? the boy repeated. Whats up with you locking the door? Whatre you doing in there at this late hour? I could ask you the same thing, Cedric shot back. Come for a private wank? Maybe, the other boy replied indignantly. What business is it of yours? None, Cedric answered. But youre out of luck tonight, Im using the room. Official Triwizard Tournament business. Ah, trying to stick it to Potter, eh? the boy asked. Oh yeah, Cedric replied, with a grin, every chance I get. Well, good luck, mate, the boy said. Thanks, man. And with that Cedric shut and relocked the door. He turned to his boyfriend, who was smirking at him.

So youre gonna stick it to me, huh? Harry asked. Maybe, Cedric replied, if youre lucky. He dipped his head for a kiss, which Harry eagerly returned. He then tried for another, but Harry pushed him away lightly. If we start on that, well never get to the egg, Harry informed him. Yeah, yeah, I guess youre right, Cedric said. So, shall we just dive in then? Without waiting for an answer, Cedric began unbuttoning his shirt. Harry stared, transfixed, as his fingers worked to undo the buttons. They stopped when he reached his navel. Are you just going to watch me? he asked. Harrys face grew hot. Sorry, he said, looking away. No, its okay, Cedric told him. You can if you want. Its kind of kinky, but all right. Harry swallowed the lump Cedrics words had put in his throat. Unable to do anything else, Harry watched as Cedric cast off his unbuttoned shirt, revealing his well-sculpted torso beneath it. Having not seen it in a month, Harry found Cedrics chest more beautiful than ever. Cedric stepped out of his shoes and pulled off his socks. His smile had become more of a sexy grin, Harry noticed. He rolled his eyes, knowing his boyfriend was getting as much satisfaction out of performing this impromptu strip tease as Harry was watching it. Cedric undid his belt buckle and unzipped, letting his pants fall slowly to the floor. He stood there, in only his plaid blue and green boxers, grin a little less smug now that he was nearly nude. You put on a good show, Harry laughed. Dont get too cocky, Cedric chided. Its your turn now. I guess it is, Harry conceded. He pulled off his T-shirt and tossed it into the pile Cedric had left his clothes in. Then Harry kicked off his sneakers and yanked off his socks. He was going a lot quicker than Cedric did. Since he wasnt wearing a belt, Harry merely undid his pants and shimmied out of them. That left him in his dark blue boxers patterned with tiny white polka dots. He was painfully aware of how obvious his bulge mustve been pressing against the front of them. He couldnt tell if Cedric had noticed it. He probably did, considering the way his eyes were glued to Harrys body. We should probably get started, Harry said. Not because he felt uncomfortable with the way Cedric was staring at him. Quite the opposite, he liked the way Cedric was staring at him. He just wasnt sure what to do with that. Yeah, Cedric said, pulling his eyes away at last. Right. Okay. Lets get started. He took the golden egg hed brought and placed it by the edge of the tub. Then he scampered around to the tubs perimeter to the diving board at the one end. He stepped onto it carefully and looked over at Harry. Hey, watch this!

Cedric turned around, bounced on the board a few times, and then leapt into the air. His body curled into a flip and splashed into the soapy water. Harry was flabbergasted. Cedric resurfaced to Harrys enthusiastic applause. Thank you, thank you, Cedric said, waving modestly to the invisible crowd. Come on in, it feels great. Harry moved across the bathroom to the diving board. He wasnt about to try anything as bold as Cedrics flip, but he was able to do an admirable cannonball. He crashed through the layers of bubbles into the water. Cedric was right, it did feel great. The tub wasnt too deep, so his complete lack of swimming skill wasnt much of a factor. He treaded water over to where Cedric was, in the shallower end. You have bubbles in your hair, Cedric informed him, reaching up to wipe them away. Yeah, so do you, Harry responded, mirroring his boyfriends actions. Cedrics hand moved from Harrys head to his shoulder, and then gently down his arm. The sensation made Harry all the more aware of how close they were standing, and how little they were wearing. He wanted to lean into the touch, a feeling that both shocked and invigorated him. Instead he pulled back and reached over to the edge of the tub to pick up the egg. So, were in the bath, Harry said, and we have the egg. Now what? I dont know, Cedric admitted. Its sort of rubbish advice, isnt it? Take a bath? Yeah, Harry agreed. Without thinking, he pried open the egg. The usual horrible screeching came out, but this time it was magnified by the echoes off the marble walls and floors. Startled by the sudden volume, Harry dropped the egg into the water. He could still hear it, only it was different. It sounded less like wailing under the water, almost like Music, Cedric mumbled. In unison, the boys bother took a deep breath and dove under the surface. Come seek us where our voices sound, the egg sang, We cannot sing above the ground It went on for a few more lines. They took turns going under to listen to it after the first time. It was difficult for Harry to focus on listening to the song while his face was level with Cedrics midsection, but after listening four times he got the basic gist down. Something that couldnt sing above the ground would be taking something theyd sorely miss and that theyd have an hour to search for it or it would be gone forever. We cannot sing above the ground, Cedric quoted. RRGH! Okay. Lets think. Cannot sing above the ground because when they do they sound like nails on a chalkboard, Harry filled in. So the only way for them to sound coherent is if theyre underwater. Which means that where their voices sound is underwater, Cedric elaborated. So, underwater. It has to be some sort of water creature. Gee, that narrows it down. Well, clearly we have to look for whatever they took underwater, Harry said. And it has to be on the Hogwarts grounds, so that must mean the lake. He pondered this. What lives in the

lake? The squid, Cedric opined. But that doesnt talk. The usual water creatures, grindylows, merpeople His eyes grew wide. OH! Thats it! Cedric ran a hand through his hair, pulling the wet locks out of his face. Im such an idiot, we were just reviewing water creatures in Defense a few weeks ago. Its merpeople, Harry! They can speak fine under the water, but above They sound like our eggs? Exactly! Cedric crowed triumphantly. All we have to do is go into the lake and get back whatever the merpeople are holding! Not nearly as terrifying as facing a dragon, and we still have weeks to prepare. Yeah, Harry said, sounding a lot less confident. Thats great, except how are we supposed to breathe underwater? Im assuming merpeople dont populate the shallower parts of the lake. Cedrics high spirits sagged a bit at this. Huh, was his response. Yeah, thats a good point. I can probably do a Bubble-Head Charm, but it would look highly suspicious if we both used it. Especially because youre not technically supposed to learn it until your fifth year. Thanks, that helps, Harry griped. His nervousness must have been coming through loud and clear, because Cedric immediately abandoned his exuberance. He took Harrys waist and pulled him into a reassuring embrace. Harry, relax, he said. You faced a dragon with only three days preparation. Plus, you know, everything else youve been doing since you came to Hogwarts. You took on dozens of dementors all on your own last year. A dip in the lake will be no sweat for you. Harry smiled a little at Cedrics confidence in him. He let out a breath and rested his forehead on the older boys shoulder. As his anxieties about the impending task began to melt away, he slowly realized that he was in the same predicament hed been trying to avoid earlier. He also noticed a certain part of Cedrics anatomy was rather responsive to their current position. Is that a wand in your boxers or are you just happy to see me? Harry asked. Sorry, Cedric groaned. Cant help it. Its what you do to me. He started to pull away, saying, We can get out, if you want. No, wait, Harry replied, holding Cedric in place. He stepped closer to him. Its okay. Cedric gazed at Harry intently. Are you sure? Rather than answer, Harry leaned up to kiss him. Cedric returned the kiss, wrapping his arms around Harry tightly. Harry moved in even closer, so that every part of them, chests, legs, everything, was touching. Like at Christmas, it didnt take long for passion to take hold. Before long, what little clothing separated them was disposed of. Hands explored even newer territory, until they found something worth holding onto. This was well beyond what theyd done after the Yule Ball, only this time it was completely deliberate. And Harry had no intention of stopping. But they were young, after all, and it was over almost as quickly as it began. Coming down from their high, Harry and Cedric kissed and pressed their wet foreheads together. They were attacked

by a fit of light laughter, both giddy over what theyd just accomplished. That was, Cedric sighed, pretty fantastic. Yeah, it was, Harry agreed enthusiastically. And I didnt even finish first this time! Hooray. What can I say? Cedric asked. Youre hot. He giggled and said, timidly, You know, I think I might be falling in love with you. In that moment, time seemed to stop. Harry froze. Hed heard what Cedric said, as loudly as if itd been shouted in Harrys ear, and he wanted to say something, to respond somehow, but he couldnt. The words panicked Harry to his core, making his throat close up and his chest feel tight. They lit a fuse inside him that, instead of exploding like a Filibuster Firework in his heart, felt more like a Dungbomb detonating in the pit of his stomach. More than anything, Harry wanted to say it back. He wanted to tell Cedric that hed never felt this way about anyone before. He wanted to open up and show Cedric everything he was, everything hed been holding back until that point. But something was stopping him, some mental or emotional block. The same block that kept him from telling Cedric about Sirius. He wanted to say that he was falling in love with Cedric, too. He wanted to. But he couldnt. Instead, he said, Im not that good. The minute the words escaped his mouth, Harry wished hed said something else. If his uninspired response had hurt Cedric, it didnt show. The other boy looked confused for a second, like it was taking longer to process words after what they did. Then he grinned, and kissed Harrys forehead, right on the scar. We should probably get out and head off to bed, Cedric said. Yeah, Harry replied. They hoisted themselves out of the water. Cedric got them both towels while Harry stood, cold and naked and shivering. He wrapped a towel around Harry, then another around himself. They dried off and got dressed, but Harry was just going through the motions. In his mind he was back in the water that was now draining from the tub, trapped in that moment, trying to figure out what it meant. Even as Cedric was dropping him off in front of the portrait of the Fat Lady, Harry was still in a fog. He put up a good front, kissing Cedric goodnight and thanking him again for the help with the clue. But in his head he was miles away. That frozen moment meant something. And Harry had a pretty good idea of what it was. He hoped he was wrong, though, because if he wasnt he had a very difficult decision to make. And soon.

Casualty of Love

a lack of color

CHAPTER TWENTY Casualty of Love

For days after their intimate encounter in the prefects bathroom, Harry was left reeling. He could hardly think of anything else. Half the time he was fixated on what went on below the water. His mind had a nasty habit of conjuring up the image of Cedrics face when he came whenever Harry was supposed to be focusing on something else, something important, which usually meant during Potions class. That in turn usually meant getting snarled at by Snape while attempting to hide his erection. The rest of the time he agonized over what came after, no pun intended. The words Cedric had spoken. The words Harry had been unable to say back. Harry lay awake every night plagued by the memory of his emotional paralysis. Why didnt he tell Cedric that he loved him? Or, rather, why couldnt he? Because it wasnt only a matter of not saying it at the time. He still was unable to force the words out, even now. He cared about Cedric, deeply. He was certain of that. And Cedric made him happy. Very much so. But there was something, some nagging hesitance, some doubt that made Harry hold back from using that four-letter word. Following their work with the golden egg Harry tried twice as hard to avoid Cedric as he once had to catch a mere glimpse of the older boy. When they would cross paths in the halls Harry would apologize for not being available, making up excuses about homework and researching for the second task. It was a half truth that was mostly a lie. And of course Cedric was unbearably understanding, assuring Harry that they would have all the time in the world once the tournament was over. Harry said nothing to this, dashing off before the conversation could go on any longer. Before Harry could say something he might regret. Hermione noticed Harrys strange behavior, and the drastic reduction of time he spent with his boyfriend, as Hermione was prone to do. When she asked Harry about it he brushed her off, told her it was fine. She knew nothing of what happened between the two champions in the prefects bathroom that wasnt to do with the egg, under the water or otherwise. Harry felt a little uncomfortable talking to her about his sex life. Shed never done anything to make him feel that way, Hermione was always very understanding, but she was still Hermione, and a girl, and it was weird. It was awkward enough on Boxing Day when he and Cedric had barely even done anything. And if he couldnt tell her the sex part of his story, it was hard to explain the rest, so he never bothered. And, to Harrys dismay, other than Hermione he didnt really have anyone else to turn to. He certainly couldnt talk to Ron. Harrys best friend made it clear on several occasions that when it came to his boyfriend he wasnt interested. Much like Hermione, Ron never did anything to

specifically make Harry uncomfortable, but there was something about the way Ron became distant whenever Cedric was made the subject of conversation that led Harry to think Ron simply wasnt interested. The only other person Harry would usually turn to for advice or comfort was Sirius. Except Harry still hadnt told Sirius about Cedric. He hadnt even told Sirius he was gay yet. There was a block, like the one Harry had with Cedric, which prevented Harry from telling his godfather the truth. Sirius was the closest thing Harry had to a parent. If Harry came out to him, and Sirius didnt No. Harry couldnt think about that. There were a lot of things Harry couldnt think about. So instead he continued to act like nothing was wrong, telling the people he cared the most about that everything was fine, when in reality he couldnt remember feeling more confused. Lies on top of lies, piling on each other until Harry could hardly breathe. Harry was sick of it all. The lying needed to end. He needed to talk to Cedric.

After finally settling on a place for them to meet that wasnt too personal, Harry sent Cedric a note. It read:

Meet me behind the greenhouses at 8.

And nothing else. The ink it was written in was black. Harry didnt eat anything at dinner that night. Even if he could unclench his jaw to shovel food in, and make his throat work to swallow, Harry knew his stomach wouldnt be able to process it. Hermione frowned at him, but didnt comment. Instead she asked if he was seeing Cedric soon. When Harry nodded slowly in response, she gave a surprised but favorable oh! and said nothing else. A little before eight oclock, Harry made his way across the grounds, snow crunching underfoot with every step. The area behind the greenhouses was empty when he arrived. Harry had gotten there first. He stood, huddled in the shadows, waiting. The freezing air of the early February night made his teeth chatter. Or maybe it was nerves. What couldnt realistically have been more than a few minutes later, no matter how long they felt, Harry heard someone approaching in the darkness. Hey, Cedric greeting him, smiling cheerfully. Hi, Harry replied curtly.

Cedric leaned in and kissed Harry on the forehead. He was wearing the sweater Harryd given him for Christmas. Harrys jaw tightened upon seeing this. I feel like I havent seen you in ages, Cedric said. I missed you. Yeah. Harry knew his responses were short, even bordering on rude, but he couldnt think of anything else to say. And on top of that, he felt sick to his stomach over what he was here to do. If he wasnt careful, he might end up spilling his guts, verbally and physically. What are we doing out here, anyway? Cedric asked. Its freezing. I jus- Harry shrugged. He couldnt come up with a good excuse for why he didnt want them to meet in any of their usual places. Because the real reason was that it wouldve made what he had to do too hard. Fancy a walk? Harry shook his head. We need to talk, he said. Okay, Cedric replied. I guess youve been working hard on the second task, huh? Find anything yet? Yeah, Harry replied absently. Then, Uh, I mean no, not yet. He took a deep, shivering breath. Hey, dont worry so much, Cedric said, taking Harry by the shoulders. Harrys mind flashed on the night they were both chosen as champions, on how Cedric believed him when he said he didnt enter his name. Im sure youll find som- Harry shrugged Cedrics hands off. Why did he have to make this so hard for Harry? Its not about the task. Oh. Cedric frowned, and bit his lip for a moment. Well then, whats the matter? I Rubbing a hand over his face, Harry sighed in frustration. He didnt know what to say, where to begin. Hed thought about it for hours, for days, even come up with a few good things to say, but he couldnt for the life of him remember any of it at the moment. He said the first thing that came to him, the most honest answer he could think of. This isnt going to work. What isnt? Cedric asked slowly. Faintly, finally, in a whisper barely audible over the wintery wind, Harry replied, us. Cedric stared. Wha- He chewed his lip again, more fiercely this time, before continuing, I dont understand, what are you sa-

I, Harry swallowed, we. We need to break up. Cedric took half a step backwards. He blinked several times, and ran an ungloved hand through his hair. Harry wondered briefly if his hands were cold. Is this are you joking? Of course not, Harry responded. What kind of joke would that be? I dont know! Cedric said angrily. But its better than the alternative, which is that youre actually He stopped, and calmed a fraction. I just, I dont understand. What happened, what made you was it something I did? No, Harry insisted. Its nothing like that. Is it the sex? Cedric asked. Because I told you we can wait until youre ready. If you think were going too fast, I would never No! Harry said. This isnt about that! Stumbling to find an explanation, yet unwilling to reveal too much, he added, Its just, its too much. All these secrets, I cant do it anymore. What do you mean? What secrets? Cedric demanded. You mean the school? Not telling everyone. Because I thought you wanted to keep us a secret, I thought we were both waiting until after the tournament, but if you want to come out now NO! God! Thats the last thing I want! Harry shouted. Cedric stared, disbelief shifting slightly into anger. What the hell is that supposed to mean? he asked. I didnt Harry stammered, I didnt mean it like that. Well how did you mean it then? Cedric challenged, his anger rising. What, you dont want people to know were together? Yeah! Maybe! Harry shot back, starting to get a bit angry himself. So what? Maybe I want to keep my private life private! Maybe I dont want the entire school knowing that Im that Im a That youre a what? Cedric inquired. That youre a wand-biter like Diggory? No one calls you that, Harry informed him. And thats not the point. None of this is. Well, what is the point then, Harry? Cedric wondered, sounding more annoyed than angry now. You call me here, after I havent seen you in more than a week, and you tell me you want to break up with me without even giving me a good reason? I have my reasons, Harry said quietly. WELL WHAT THE FUCK ARE THEY? For a minute, Harry was stunned. Hed never really heard Cedric shout before, except once, on the day of the first task. He was telling someone else off for wearing a Potter Stinks badge. He was defending Harry. And now Harry was the one he was shouting at. Cedric was normally so

calm, so forgiving. Cedric, please dont shout at me, Harry said. Im sorry, Cedric replied. I didnt mean to I didnt He started taking halted, gasping breaths. He was shaking, and Harry knew it had nothing to do with being cold. Cedric strong, reliable Cedric was coming apart at the seams. It was as horrible to watch as it was to be the cause of. This was killing them both, but Harry couldnt stop it. Not while that lingering fear was still haunting him, telling him that this was the right thing to do. So instead he had to stand by, and watch, as the boy he cared so much about broke down. I dont understand, Cedric said meekly, voice laced with tears, what did I do? Nothing, Harry said, honestly. Absolutely nothing. You didnt do anything wrong, I swear. Its me. My fault. I fucked everything up. Not you. An icy wind passed between the two of them. It made Harry think of their anniversary, when they lay under that fake but still warm summer nights sky. It made Harry want to curl up in Cedrics arms, take it all back, let him in, at last. I should go, Harry said. Im sorry. Im so sorry. Cedric didnt respond as Harry walked past him, back toward the castle. Alone.

Without Love

a lack of color

CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE Without Love

The next morning, when Harry woke up, he remembered the events of the night before. He then rolled over and wished he never had to wake up again. Everything from after he left Cedric freezing and heartbroken behind the greenhouses was a bit foggy. Somehow hed gotten all the way up to the Gryffindor Tower. Somehow he made it to his room, and into bed. And somehow hed fallen asleep, although that he was the most baffled by. He fully expected to be tossing and turning all night with regret and shame. On the contrary, it was like he had fallen into a sort of guilt-induced coma. Now that he was awake, however, the reality of what had transpired was beginning to sink in. I dont understand, Cedrics voice rang in Harrys ears, battered and broken, what did I do? The words cut into Harry like a knife. All of Cedrics accusations and pleas played over and over in his head. They were a nightmarish soundtrack stuck on repeat, until the sound of the dormitorys door opening broke their echo. Hey, you awake? someone asked from the doorway. Harry? Ron. Harry could recognize his voice, of course. But he sounded miles and miles away through the blaring sound of Cedrics sobs, still playing in his mind. Harry tried to respond, but his jaw felt like it was glued shit. And even if he could open it, his throat was refusing to work. Its almost lunch, mate, Ron said impatiently. Youve been in bed all morning. Had he? Time didnt seem real to Harry. Everything was all jumbled. His first night out with Cedric felt like it was years and years ago, even though itd only been two months. Yet their first encounter, in the hospital wing, the first time Cedric squeezed Harrys hand and smiled at him, suddenly felt as recent and vivid as the memory of Cedric falling apart as he discovered why Harry called him behind the greenhouses. Soon Ron gave up, and turned back out of the dormitory. A few minutes later, or maybe hours as far as Harry knew, he returned with Hermione in tow. She swept around his bed and knelt beside him. Ron remained standing at a distance. Harry? she said. Are you all right?

Harry shook his head. He didnt want to, didnt want to move, didnt want to think, didnt want to give any sort of response. He wanted to simply lie there, immobile, for about a week. But he knew it was rude not to answer, and that she would keep asking if he didnt respond. Whats wrong? Hermione asked. Are you sick? He was out behind the greenhouses last night, Ron supplied. With, yknow, Cedric. That was a stupid thing to do, its freezing outside at night. She felt Harrys face. You dont seem to have a temperature. Reluctantly, Harry mumbled, m not sick. And even that took more than the usual bit of effort. Well, somethings wrong, Hermione insisted. Why dont you just tell us? Maybe we could help. Why didnt you meet in the Room of Requirement anyway? Couldnt, Harry mustered. Did something happen last night? She brushed Harrys bangs off of his forehead. Her fingers grazed the spot that Cedric had kissed in greeting the night before. Something about the gesture broke a dam inside of Harry. We broke up, he confessed. The words spiraled in Harrys mind. They sank deeper and deeper into his heart. He wished he hadnt said them because saying them, out loud, to his closest friends, made it more real than ever before. Hermiones hand flew to her mouth as she gave a tiny gasp of shock. Ron barely reacted at all, except to look away. Hermione frowned sympathetically. Are you well, no, of course youre not okay, Hermione gathered. She straightened up and cleared her throat. All right. All right, you just- just stay up here, thats fine. Well bring you up some food. Im going to take care of your homework this weekend, so dont worry about that. You take the next two days to do whatever it is you need to do, all right? Harry stared up at his friend. Her eyes were slightly teary, but her voice was strong, reassuring. She was being kind of supportive that she was when she told Harry she loved him after he came out to her. For the first time in days, Harry felt the slightest bit at ease. Thank you, he said, in a voice barely above a whisper. Youre welcome, Hermione replied. She leaned over and kissed him on the cheek. Then she headed back toward the stairs, giving Ron a significant look, clearly communicating that he was to follow her. And he did, frowning. How come youll do homework for him and not me? he groused. Get your heart broken and Ill do your homework, Hermione retorted. Back across the room, Harrys heart lightened at the familiar sound of his friends bickering. He didnt smile, and still didnt feel like hed be smiling again anytime soon. Even so, Harrys spirits lifted a fraction.

For the next day and a half, Harry lay alone with his thoughts. Neither Ron nor even Hermione pressed him for further details about his break up. Ron got Neville, Dean and Seamus to clear out for the most part during the day so Harry wouldnt have to face them in his current state. Hermione brought him food and insisted that he eat it. Harry ate enough to satisfy her so she would leave, then threw out the rest. News of his isolation spread within Gryffindor. That much was inevitable. Ron and Hermione had most people convinced that it had to do with stress from the tournament. It kept them from trying to peak in on him, allowing Harry to brood in peace. At least until late Sunday afternoon when, to Harrys surprise, a visitor entered his dorm. Hello, Harry, the boy greeted him. Harry managed a sigh. Fred, if youre here to cheer me up or something, theres no point, he warned. Im not, Fred assured him. Fred crossed the dormitory, slowly, casually. He sat at the foot of Harrys bed without asking permission. Harry wanted to ask him to go away, but he didnt. He could brood with someone in the room just as well as without. So what happened, eh? Fred asked suddenly. You two have a fight? Sorry? Harry replied, confused. You and Diggory, Fred clarified. Harrys empty stomach clenched. I dont know what youre talking about, he said. Oh, come on, Harry, Fred replied. Dont try to play a player. Harry regarded Fred. He looked more sincere than Harry had ever seen him. Whether it was because of the seriousness of the Weasley twins expression or simply because of sheer emotional exhaustion, Harry couldnt muster the energy to lie anymore. We broke up, Harry answered. We I broke up with him. Freds eyebrows raised a fraction. Ouch, he said. Im sorry to hear that. He turned his eyes away from Harrys, smirking. Too bad, too. I always thought Diggory was hot. I didnt know he played for our team, though, until, well Until you two happened. Harry stared. Wa- what? he asked, baffled. What do you mean, our team? Because youre not I mean

you cant be Fred smiled. Cant be what? he wondered. Queer as a wooden Galleon? Are you? So what if I am? Fred shot back. Nothing, Harry replied. Just I never knew. I mean, Id neverve known. A thought occurred to him. But didnt you take Angelina to the Ball? Well, I had to take a girl, didnt I? Fred answered. Besides, she knows. Does George? Harry asked. Of course he does, Fred laughed. Like I could keep it a secret from him. George was the first person I came out to. He thinks its great. Says he doesnt have to worry about competition from me with the girls anymore. I had no idea, Harry marveled. He felt a little embarrassed about how amazed he mustve sounded, but he couldnt help himself. Im a little surprised none of you lot ever figured it out, Fred told him. Im basically out to every Gryffindor in my year, and loads more people beyond that. I thought gossip spread more quickly than that. Wait, youre out? To some people, yeah, Fred replied. Its not like I post fliers about it, its just understood, yknow? Mum and Dad dont know yet, or anyone else in my family. Except Bill. I knew hed be cool with it. For the second time that weekend, Harry felt as though his world had been turned upside-down. He really thought he was coming to understand things, about himself, about homosexuality. But he hadnt even had the slightest inkling that Fred was gay, let alone that there were students at Hogwarts who knew about him and were clearly fine with it. Have you Harry swallowed, a bit sheepish to ask his next question. I mean, have you ever been with another guy? Loads, Fred responded breezily. Ooh, that does make me sound like a slut. Scratch that. Forget I said that. Not loads. But enough. He looked cagily at Harry. Enough to recognize that you and Diggory were the real thing, anyway. Harry shrugged. I dunno. Well, dont worry about it, Fred advised. Hogwarts is teeming with gay blokes, and more than youd think. Even in your year! Theres this Ravenclaw kid, Corner? Total bottom. But I dont really want another bloke, Harry insisted, ignoring Freds comment. I still love Cedric.

Then whyd you dump him? Fred inquired. It was getting Harry struggled to find the right words. I mean, Im only fourteen. So? So! Harry echoed. Im Im too young to be in love. Ive got years and years left. At least I hope so. And Im not ready for all of it, being with someone, being out, I cant do it. Okay, Fred interrupted, Im gonna stop you, because you sound really stupid right now. Harry, if youre in love, you just are. Dont go worrying about being too young, because you could have a hundred years left or maybe not even six months. The point is to make the most of what you know youve got. And as for, well, being out Its scary, sure. Being gay is more socially acceptable now than ever before, but that doesnt make it any easier for the likes of you and me. And you dont need to feel guilty about not being ready for it. You got that? Yeah, I guess, Harry said. He smiled the tiniest of smiles. So you think Cedrics hot? I thought you hated him because he beat us at Quidditch last year. My feelings on the pitch have no bearing on my libido off it, Fred grinned. Ive been very jealous. Of both of you, for that matter, he added, poking Harry in the stomach. It growled angrily at the provocation. He looked hesitantly at Harry, then bent forward and kissed the younger boy on the cheek. Youre going to be fine, Harry, Fred assured him. Thanks, Fred, Harry replied gratefully. Fred nodded, rising from the bed. Do me a favor, though? he asked. Dont tell Ron about me. He knows about me, Harry pointed out. Yeah, and how well did he take that? Fred argued. Fair enough, Harry answered. And have something to eat, will you? Fred ordered, turning toward the door. Starving yourself to death wont help. Hey, Fred? Harry said. The Weasley boy stopped, looked back and waited. How do you know? he asked finally.When youre ready to be out and all that. Fred sighed. As soon as I figure it out, Ill let you know. With a wink and a heartfelt smile, Fred left Harry alone once more. Thinking about Freds words of encouragement, Harry felt, for the first time all weekend, the smallest bit of hope.

Monday morning was the first time Harry ventured out of the Gryffindor Tower since returning there from breaking up with Cedric. Freds visit had done wonders to invigorate him, but he still wasnt ready to face the outside world until he absolutely had to. Hermione had, rightfully, insisted that he shower Sunday night. She also, unfortunately, and despite Harrys protests that he would be fine on his own, made Ron supervise, which he did with his back to the showers and under extreme duress. It was a bit shaky, walking down to the Great Hall. Harry kept thinking every student who glanced his way knew about him and Cedric and what had happened. But that was, of course, impossible. As he choked down the oatmeal Hermione had put firmly in front of him, Harrys apprehension slowly started to drain away. Then, as he made his way across the entrance hall to get to class, he encountered Cho. And she slapped him across the face. Hard. Fuck you, Harry Potter! she said in a voice cold as steel. Just - fuck you! All the students around them stopped and stared as Cho marched off in a huff. Several people tittered, and a few oohed. Harry stood there, stunned. Ron and Hermione came up beside him, looking just as shocked. Harry turned to Hermione. Can I please go back up to my room now? Hermione shook her head sadly. You cant hide forever, Harry, she told him. Harry swallowed a hard lump in his throat. She was right. He couldnt run away. He was just going to have to endure it.

The next several days were nothing but a blur to Harry. They were all full of schoolwork and working out how to breathe underwater. He saw Cedric rarely, and when he did he had the distinct impression that Cedric was purposely not looking at him. Then, six days before the second task, Harry ran, almost literally, into Cedric, in the hallway after dinner. Upon realizing who hed almost knocked into, Harry froze. They both did, gazes locked. Harry searched for something to say, anything, but his voice was frozen with the rest of him. It was Cedric who spoke first. Howve you been? he asked, voice hollow. Cho slapped me, Harry blurted out. He felt like a tattle for saying that but it was the first thing to come out. Sorry about that, Cedric said, sounding the most insincere Harryd ever heard him be. Yeah, thats thats okay, Harry said. Ive mostly been working on the whole breathing underwater thing. Not too successful so far. Im kind of freaking out about it. He hesitated before asking, Howre you holding up?

Im not. Those few words carried a lot of weight. They were meant to crush him, Harry knew, and they did. He wanted to say something. The silence was killing him. Im sorry Harry began. Dont, Cedric interrupted. It was both a plea and a warning. Okay. Awkward silence fell once more. It only served to remind Harry of a time when neither of them could shut up for want of getting to know each other better. And now I have to go, Cedric said abruptly. He stalked off before Harry had a chance to respond. And for the hundredth time since hed done it, Harry asked himself: if being apart from Cedric hurt him so much, why did he break up with him?

Hopelessly Devoted to You

a lack of color

CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO Hopelessly Devoted to You

Here, Cedric said, thrusting a brown paper bag at Harry. Take this. It was the night before the second task, and it would not have been an exaggeration to say that Harry was in a panic over it. He, Ron, and Hermione had been unable to find anything useful. Most spells that aided in underwater travel involved magic well beyond the fourth year level. Hermione tried once or twice to suggest the Bubble-Head Charm but Harry refused flatly. He didnt want to copy Cedrics plan, not out of spite but respect. Even though the idea was tempting, as he was empty-handed and the task was nearly twelve hours away. Of all the things Harry needed at the moment, a run-in with his ex-boyfriend was one of the last. Hed bumped into Cedric as he was heading down the meet Ron and Hermione for dinner. They hadnt crossed paths since their last encounter almost a week before. Harry couldnt help noticing that Cedrics lips, the lips hed gotten his first kiss from, were chewed raw. He looked down at the package Cedric had shoved at him. What is this? he wondered. It felt odd, like whatever was inside was soggy yet somehow it hadnt soaked through the bag. Gillyweed, Cedric replied tersely. For the task. Swallow it right before you go into the lake and youll be able to breathe. Itll even help you swim. I know you have trouble with He let his sentence go unfinished. Forget breathing underwater, Harry was struggling to find his breath standing there in the corridor with Cedrics magnanimous gesture. He had no obligation to help Harry, yet there he was, swooping in and solving the boys most troubling setback. Cedric, I The bag is sealed magically, Cedric continued, for freshness. Dont open it until tomorrow morning. His gaze lingered on the bag for another moment. Not once during their entire conversation had Cedric made eye contact. He nodded once, then stepped past Harry. Thank you so much, Harry said as he passed. I cant tell you how much But Cedric didnt stop, or make any sign indicating he had even heard him. He simply left Harry standing there, dumbfounded, holding a brown paper bag.

Rona and Hermione were already halfway through dinner by the time Harry arrived at the Great Hall. Hermione was reading from a large book, turning pages in between bites. Now that he didnt have the question of what to do about the second task looming over his head, Harry found he was famished. He loaded up his plate and dug in voraciously. Whereve you been? Hermione asked. You need to hurry up and eat so we can get to the library before it closes. Why? Harry responded, not paying much attention. It was hard to focus on anything other than food at the moment. How had he not realized how hungry he was? Have you snapped or something? Ron asked. The tournament, remember? Breathing underwater? Oh right! Harry cried through a mouthful of potatoes. Its taken care of. Ive devised a new system for research, Hermione said, where we each take a different wait, what? What do you mean taken care of? Ron said. Harry pulled out the brown paper bag and passed it to Hermione. What is it? she asked, looking curiously at it. Gillyweed, Harry explained. Dont open it. Its sealed. Magically. For freshness. Where did you get it? Hermione pressed suspiciously. Cedric, Harry answered. Just now, in the hallway. On my way here. He gave it to me. Said it would let me breathe underwater. Hermione pursed her lips. Well, that was very nice of him, she said slowly. It is a bit like cheating for him to just give it to you. Is it any different than you and Ron helping me? Harry shot back. No, Hermione replied, closing her book. I guess not. Ocourse its different, Ron muttered. Were Harrys friends. Hes not. The jerk. Ron, Hermione admonished. No, its the truth, Ron replied. Harrys business is none of Cedrics anymore. Where does he get off? This was an amazingly kind thing that he did, Harry said, impatience mounting. Id be completely screwed tomorrow if it wasnt for him. Wedve figured something out, Ron grumbled. No, we wouldnt have! Harry said. His voice hadnt risen in volume, only in intensity. He did a good thing for me when he was in no way obligated to. Were not even together anymore and

youre still being an asshole about him! You got what you wanted. We broke up. Isnt that enough? Ron gaped at Harry. Hermione remained silent, staring at her plate. I didnt want he sputtered. Harry, however, was finished, with his dinner and with their conversation. The insatiable hunger hed been feeling minutes earlier was gone. He gathered up his things, making especially sure to give Ron a dirty look at he snatched the gillyweed off the table, and left the Great Hall. As he made his way to the top of the Gryffindor Tower, however, Harrys anger slowly began to dissipate. True, Rons inexplicable hostility toward Cedric annoyed him, but Harry knew he couldve handled the situation better instead of storming out like that. He only hoped his actions wouldnt start another silly feud between the two of them. That really was the last thing he needed right now. Upon reaching his dormitory, Harry felt very suddenly tired. It was like his appetite returning: now that he was no longer harboring the anxiety of being totally unprepared for the tournament, the exhaustion hed been fighting off for weeks was finally catching up to him. He briefly considered going over old DADA notes to brush up on underwater creatures before deciding that there was no way hed keep his eyes open long enough for that. Besides, it wasnt for nothing that he had top marks in Defense. Yes, now that he was ready to face the lake the next morning, Harry was best off getting a full nights sleep in preparation. So he removed his glasses and set them beside the gillyweed on his nightstand. Harry fell asleep moments after his head hit the pillow, staring at the brown paper bag.

The next morning Harry woke up a full hour before the task was to begin feeling refreshed and rather confident. The first thing he did after putting on his glasses was to check on the gillyweed. He was almost afraid that the whole thing had been a dream. But it was right where hed left it, safe and sound. The second thing Harry did was glance over at Rons bed. It was empty. Thats weird, Harry muttered. Ron always slept late when he could afford to. Harry wondered if he was upset about their argument last night. That wouldnt account for his absence, though. Harry went down to the common room to look for him, but Ron wasnt there either. Nor was Hermione, for that matter. Even stranger. She had to be up. She was the earliest riser of the three of them, and she almost always waited for Harry before leaving for breakfast. There was no way that today, of all days, she would have gone ahead without him. More puzzled than ever, Harry headed down to the Great Hall alone. When he reached the Gryffindor table he still couldnt find his friends. He did, however, spot Fred and George, taking bets. Hey, Harry said, approaching them. Have you seen your brother, or Hermione?

Eight knuts? Are you serious? Fred asked one of the gamblers. Then, to Harry, Ahh, no. Not since we left them last night. Left them? Harry repeated. Left them where? No no, Fred, he wanted to be put down for eight sickles, not knuts, George corrected his brother. To Harry he said, McGonagall had us escort them up to her office. Last time we saw them they were in there with that, uh, the Ravenclaw chick. The Seeker. You know, friends with Diggory? Cho? Harry supplied. Yeah, her, Fred answered, and to his brother, Blimey, George, you are useless. We played them last year, how can you not remember her name? I dont know everyone, George argued. There was some little girl in there, too. Pretty. Talking some mighty fast French. French? Harry asked. Thats odd. Youre sure? Well, I think wed know if it was English, yeah? Fred quipped. Huh. Okay, Harry said. Thanks guys. No problem, George responded. Yeah, and good luck, Fred said with a wink. Harry felt himself blush a bit. It was hard not to see such gestures from Fred differently now that he knew the Weasley twin was gay. He simply smiled and waved meekly. Or, yknow, George added as Harry walked away, depending on how the betting turns out, hope you drown. Harry moved a ways down the table and sat. The information that the twins had given troubled Harry. There was something about it that was nagging at him. Like a puzzle with pieces still missing. What were Ron and Hermione called to McGonagalls office for? Had they gotten in trouble for helping Harry with the task? But then why was Cho there? She didnt help Cedric. And who was the little French girl? For what purpose could the four of them have been called to the professors office at the same time? What did those four people have in common? Four. Wait. A light went off in Harrys head. But no, that cant be right, Harry thought. They would never Except thats the only thing that seems to make sense. He had to be sure though, and there was only one person he knew he could ask. More than that, Harry had an obligation to that person, to let him know what he had figured out. So, not giving a damn about how it looked or what people would think, Harry got up and made his way along the

Hufflepuff table. Toward Cedric. Oddly, for the morning of a Triwizard task, Cedric was sitting alone. Harry was a bit surprised, thinking he might be surrounded by well-wishers. Then he recalled the way Cedric got right before Quidditch matches, all reserved and quiet and withdrawn from the rest of the student body. Contemplative, he called it. Harry sat in the empty space to the boys left. Have you seen Cho this morning? he asked abruptly. Wh-huh? Cedric stuttered, shaken from his thoughts. What? Why? Have you seen her? Harry asked again. I no. Why are you asking me this? Weve taken what youll sorely miss, Harry quoted back to him. I couldnt find Ron this morning, or Hermione. I think I think theyve been taken, like hostages or something. And we have to rescue them. Arent you afraid to be seen sitting next to me? Cedric asked harshly, seeming to ignore what Harry had said. No, Harry replied. Cedric was silent for a minute, eyes fixed on the table they were seated at. Finally he said, Okay, then got up from the table and turned to go. Before leaving he said, very quietly, and still not looking at Harry, Thank you. And then he was gone. Sitting alone, friends taken hostage and the boy he cared about barely speaking to him, Harry did his own bit of contemplation. It sort of figured that having everything he held dear being stripped away in the face of insurmountable odds was what helped him realize what was most important. That included Ron and Hermione. And it included Cedric. Maybe Fred was right. Maybe Harry was being stupid. He glanced up and saw a girl seated across the table looking strangely at him. Harry wondered what her problem was until he realized he was still at the Hufflepuff table. Giving her an awkward smile, he rose from his seat and left the Great Hall. There was half an hour left before the task commence and, armed with his new theory about what he would have to do, there was something Harry needed before going into the lake.

He took the stairs of Gryffindor Tower two at a time. He wasnt due at the lake for almost half an hour but that was no reason to dawdle. Plus he wasnt really sure where hed left the thing he needed, so he wanted to make sure he had time to find it. Harry reached his dormitory and threw the door open. In the middle of the room stood Neville Longbottom, holding an open book, his eyes wide. The cover of the book bore the title Magical Mildew: A Wizards Field Guide to Functional

Fungus. Harry tensed, because he knew that that copy of Magical Mildew was not what it appeared to be. It was actually Harrys copy of Wizardry and Homosexuality, A Retrospective: From the Dark Ages to the Modern Era, which Hermione had disguised to look like Magical Mildew so that Harry could read it without his classmates knowing what it was. At least, until now. Harry let the door shut behind him. The sound jarred Neville out of his shock. He looked up and saw Harry standing there. Harry! the boy yelped. I wasnt I mean, I didnt mean to go through your things! I saw this on your nightstand and thought it was one of mine. Because, you know, Herbology and all. Shit, Harry thought. The nightstand. Where I left it after going to bed last night. Because Im an idiot. It is yours, isnt it? Neville asked uneasily. For a moment Harry considered denying ownership of the book, claiming hed found it or taken it out of the library by accident. It wouldve been easy. But then how did he explain the mismatched cover? And, more to the point: Harry didnt want to lie. After all the lying hed done the past few weeks, to Cedric, to his friends, to himself, Harry was sick of it, more sick than hed been before breaking up with Cedric in the first place. Yeah, Harry answered firmly. Yeah, it is. Nevilles eyes were glued to his feet. So youre Now or never, Potter, Harry thought to himself. Yeah, Harry confirmed, ignoring the nervous pit it put in his stomach. Im gay. The other boy nodded. Thats, um, thats cool, he said. I mean, really. Thats cool. And I wont tell anyone! he assured Harry. I mean, weve all got our secrets, right? Neville handed Harry the book back and grinned at him. Is Neville coming on to me? Harry wondered. Er, thanks, Neville, Harry replied uncertainly. Neville smiled. He headed for the stairs, giving Harry a friendly pat on the shoulder before leaving. Harry stared at the book in his hands. Well, he said to himself, no more leaving this on the nightstand, thats for sure. He sat on his bed and pulled open the drawer of his nightstand, placing Wizardry and Homosexuality, A Retrospective in it and shutting it firmly. Harry lay back and rubbed his face, at a complete loss. This wasnt the morning he thought hed be having when he left that bed a short while earlier. He checked his watch. Nearly twenty minutes left until the task. Right. The task. Harryd almost forgotten, given the strange situation he found himself in. He set to work searching

for the thing hed come up to his room to find in the first place. As he looked, Harry wondered what wouldve happened had he not walked in on Neville with his book. And what if someone else had mistakenly picked it up instead, like Dean or Seamus? Or, even worse, if Harryd left it somewhere outside his dorm, and Malfoy found it. Harry shook his head. No sense worrying about something like that. And so what if they did? Harry was starting to realize that, no matter how long he kept his secret, it wouldnt change the outcome when it finally was discovered. Making himself miserable in an attempt to delay it was deeply stupid. After rummaging through his trunk for almost ten minutes, and vowing that if and when he survived today he would organize his belongings, Harry found the object hed been looking for: the knife Sirius gave him for Christmas. Armed for the task at hand, and as mentally prepared as he was likely to get, Harry headed down to the lake.

The task went off without a hitch. Mostly. The gillyweed worked exactly like Cedric said it would. Not that Harry had any doubt. It was a strange yet exhilarating experience, swimming through the lake. It made Harry think of flying, only underwater rather than in the air. And the merpeople were fascinating. To look at, anyway. To interact with, they were a bit rude and condescending. It was especially difficult being confronted with Cedric in the mervillage. For one thing, he was wearing nothing but swim trunks. For another, the Bubble-Head Charm had magnified his facial features in odd ways, making his shredded lips and bloodshot eyes look completely out of proportion. His jaw had tightened when Harry offered him use of his knife, but he did accept it with a curt nod. After releasing Cho, he stared at Harry for a long moment before taking off toward the surface. Conversely, Krum, when offered the knife, had batted Harrys hand away, knocking it to the floor of the lake. By the time Harry relocated it, Krum was gone. Harrys decision to make sure that all of the hostages were rescued proved to be less stupid than it should have, to his immense relief. In the end he was tied in points with Cedric. Harry didnt appreciate the cosmic irony. The festivities following the task went on throughout the rest of the day, spanning from lunch until dinner, and then picking up after dinner again. The twins led the carousing, providing most of the decorations and refreshments. Whichever way the betting had turned out mustve been beneficial to them, because they did their fair share of celebrating and then some. Exhausted of the never-ending party, Harry collapsed into a chair in the corner to be alone. A few minutes later, Ron appeared. I thought you might be hungry, he said, sitting beside Harry. Ron offered him a plate of snacks. Harry was touched. Hey, thanks! he replied, taking them graciously. He nibbled on a lemon pastry. No problem, Ron assured him. So, uh, Im the thing youd sorely miss, eh? Thats sorta gay.

And just like that, the moment was shattered. Harry snapped, going from thinking what a wonderful friend Ron was or wondering why he was being such an asshole in a second. What the hell is wrong with you! Harry cried out exasperatedly. What on Earth would possibly possess you to say that to me? It was a stupid joke, Ron said, ears growing pink. Sorry. Is that what this is all about? Harry asked. Youre worried that, by being my friend, people will think youre gay? What? No! Of course not! Good, Harry said. Because, seriously, the only person you need to worry about thinking youre gay already knows you arent. Ron stared at him. What do you mean? Oh come on, Harry said, giving him a significant look. The other boy looked away. Harry was about to take another bite of his pastry when Ron spoke again. We kissed, he said. He glanced fleetingly at Harry before elaborating, Hermione and me. Whaat! Harry exclaimed. When? At the party, Ron expounded. At New Years. Harry reflected back to that night. Ignoring the dull pain he felt remembering spending most of the night with Cedric, he did recall that the two of them had gone missing as midnight drew near. And Krum asking if they had seen Hermione. That was almost two months ago! Harry said. Youre telling me this now? As an afterthought, he added, And what about Cho? She made fun of the Canons, Ron told him. It would never have worked out. And as for Hermione, well I dunno, it was weird. And she and I havent even talked about it since. Still, how could you not tell me? You were always busy, Ron retorted. With, yknow him. Before Harry could respond, he rushed on: Oh dont deny it, you know its true. Youve got him now, so theres no room for me anymore. Even broken up hes all you can talk about. Because Im in love with him! Harry said in an urgent whisper. But that doesnt mean I love you any less! He blinked as his words settled in. Whooa. Yeah, Ron agreed, equally awed. You youre in love with him? Yeah, Harry replied. I think so. Doesnt really matter now, does it? Dont be a git, Ron said. Its not too late.

Isnt it? Harry countered. Breaking up with him screwed things up in a very monumental kind of way. Wait, hold on, Ron interrupted. You broke up with him? Well, yeah, Harry said, feeling like Ron was stating the obvious. I told you that already. No you didnt! Ron disputed. You said you broke up! Ohh, Hermione is going to kill you. This whole time weve thought Cedric was the one who dumped you. He paused a moment, then said, Wait, but if you think you, yknow, love him, why did you break up with him? Its complicated, Harry said bluntly. Try me. I, just I, Harry struggled. There is so much about my life that he still doesnt know. About Voldemort, Ron winced, but Harry pressed on, and Sirius and all that. And I kept thinking, what if he cant handle it? What if he decides that Im not worth that kind of, I dunno, drama, or whatever? I just couldnt tell him about all that. I couldnt go through with it. But I couldnt stay with him and keep lying like that. So I had to. Again, Ron simply stared at him. Youre a bigger idiot than I am! he said finally. See, this is why I dont talk to you about stuff like this. You broke up with him to avoid getting hurt if you two ever broke up, Ron replied. Im sorry, is there some way in which that isnt the stupidest thing youve ever heard? It I Harry sighed. It made sense at the time. Harry, just tell him the truth, Ron advised him. Harry was about to argue, but Ron cut him off, saying, No, Harry, trust me on this. That guy is absolutely, one-hundred percent crazy about you. Why do you think His ears turned pink again. Why do you think Ive been so jealous this whole time? I was worried he would replace me. But look, thats not important right now. The point is, you mean everything to him. And if you think you might feel the same way about him, you need to be honest with him. You need to tell him. Harry blinked. Thanks, Ron. Hey, whatre best friends for? Ron said diffidently. Exactly this, Harry told him. And you know you are, right? Yeah, Ron said. This time he sounded confident. So you and Hermione, eh? Harry asked. Yes, Ron said. I-I dont know. We havent spoken about it. Ever. And then today shes Krums hostage? It was probably a fluke or something. I dont know, mate, Harry replied. And as for the hostage thing, I wouldnt worry about that

too much. After all, you were mine, so it cant mean that much. Oh, nice, Ron laughed, rising from his seat. Thats rich. Fine, then. Now I dont feel sorry for slipping you a Canary Cream with the food I just gave you. Wait, seriously? Harry frowned. Ron shrugged, and disappeared into the crowd, smiling mysteriously. His best friends guidance played over again in Harrys head. He was right. Harry needed to stop running from his fears. He needed to face them head on. He needed to talk to Cedric. To do that, he needed a plan. Which, he decided, having just turned into a giant canary, he would do as soon as he molted.

So Much Better
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes

a lack of color

CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE So Much Better

Backward and forward, over and over, Harry paced the marble floor of the prefects bathroom. He was nervously awaiting Cedrics arrival. That is, if he was coming. That is, if Harrys message had even reached him. Within minutes of shedding his canary exterior, hed formulated a plan and acted quickly on it. It was risky, but he couldnt wait. There was too much at stake. He simply hoped the ends would justify the means. The tub was empty. Harry stared at it for a long time when he first entered the room, remembering when hed last been in it with Cedric. That was nearly a month ago. It felt longer, but then time had been crawling at a Streelers pace since that night, when Harry started doubting his and Cedrics relationship. And its moving even more slowly now, Harry thought with irritation. Hed been waiting for half an hour. Which, in reality, was not all that long. Sometimes it took him twenty minutes simply to get to the ground floor. But when youre waiting for someone like Harry was waiting for Cedric, half an hour can feel like an eternity. Unfortunately, the extensive wait time did not help Harry decide what he should say when Cedric did show up. At last, the bathroom door opened. With sudden fear, it dawned on Harry that Cedric wasnt the only person with access to the bathroom. And, technically speaking, Harry was not supposed to be there. Thankfully, however, it was not some random prefect, and Harry was not going to get busted. Instead, to Harrys mixture of relief and anxiety, it was Cedric. His face was expressionless, his lips still swollen and raw. He held up something shiny, small, and silver; Harrys Snitch locket. I got your message, he said in an unimpressed manner. He handed the Snitch to Harry, who put it back on the chain around his neck. Thanks for coming, Harry said. I didnt have much of a choice, Cedric replied, voice lightly tinged with anger. It kept buzzing about my head until I opened it. Then, in a tone of mild curiosity, he asked, I didnt know you could make it do that. A little charm Hermione taught me, Harry admitted. She said it was a Carrier Charm. I figured it was worth a shot. Guess I was right.

Well, Im here, Cedric stated. What do you want? Harry was now faced with a dilemma. Similar to when they broke up, he couldnt think of where to start or what to say. So, like then, he decided to just go with his gut and hope for the best. Well, Harry began, for starters, I want to tell you Im sorry If thats all this is about Cedric interrupted, starting to turn away. No, just listen, Harry insisted. Im sorry for ending things that way. It was stupid. I was stupid. Really, really stupid, and immature. I should have just trusted you enough to tell you the truth. That seemed to keep Cedrics interest. The truth? he asked. There are things you still dont know about me, Harry said. Things that I was afraid to tell you, because I didnt know if you could handle it. If I could trust you. He thought about that statement. It hadnt felt right when he said it to Ron, and it didnt feel right now either. Because it wasnt the whole truth about why he broke up with Cedric. No, Harry said, growing bolder. No, thats too easy. It was more than that. I think I think I was afraid to tell you because Ive never felt about anyone the way I feel about you. Sure, I love Ron and Hermione, but its different. And if I told you all these things Ive been holding back, if I let you all the way in and someday things didnt work out between us or whatever, it would have been so much worse. So when you said you were falling in love with me I got scared, and instead of facing that fear I ran. But I dont want to run anymore. I dont want to be that guy, because I do love you. I love you. For a second, Cedrics face remained impassive. Then, like a slow sunrise, the slightest hint of a smile appeared on his lips. But Harry wasnt done yet. My godfather is Sirius Black, he blurted out. Cedrics tiny smile disappeared. Now instead he looked baffled. Your god- what? My godfather is Sirius Black, Harry said again. When he broke out of Azkaban and everyone thought he was trying to kill me, he wasnt. He was protecting me from the person who really committed the crime he was imprisoned for, Peter Pettigrew. Petti- but he died! Cedric argued. Everyone knows that! Sirius Black killed No, he didnt, Harry replied. Its a longer story than this, but the sum of it is that Sirius is innocent, and Pettigrew is still alive. The only people that know the truth are me, Ron, Hermione, and Dumbledore. Thinking about it, he added, Well, and Snape, but he hates Sirius so he doesnt really care. He you Cedric looked like his head was spinning. Then, in a voice more calm than Harry wouldve thought him capable of, he said, Youre serious. No, my godfather is Sirius, Im Harry, the other boy quipped. When Cedric didnt respond, he added, That was a joke.

And this is why you broke up with me, Cedric said. I thought it was, Harry replied. I thought I was protecting Sirius, but I think, really, I was protecting myself. Listen, Cedric, my life is complicated. Someone has tried to kill me at least four times, maybe five now with the tournament, and its almost always Voldemort, in some way, shape or form. I know youve heard the rumors. I dont think anyone hasnt, Cedric admitted. Yeah, well, while they may be, for the most part, complete dragonshit, Harry said, there is a grain of truth to them. Ive stopped Voldemort when I was a baby, and Ive kept him from returning to power twice since then. Theres a definite chance that, if hes still out there somewhere, hell come for me again. Now, if you cant handle that, thats Well, that would suck, a lot. But I would understand. This is it, though. This is me. No more secrets. For a long time, neither boy spoke. Harry was worried that his words had no effect on Cedric. He took some comfort in the thought that if they hadnt Cedric probably would have left already. Then, at last, he spoke. Remember last week? he asked. When we accidentally ran into each other in the hall? Yeah, Harry replied. It was awkward. Yeah, Cedric agreed. It wasnt an accident. I purposely positioned myself so that youd bump into me because I wanted to check up on you. To make sure you were okay. Why are you telling me this? Harry asked, touched by this surprising revelation. Because its important for you to know that, Cedric explained, that even though you broke my heart that night, you never left it. Not for one second. He reached out timidly and took Harrys hand. I love you, Harry, he said. I love you too, Cedric, Harry replied, taking Cedrics other hand. They smiled at each other. Then Harry leaned up and gave his boyfriend-once-more a short, sweet kiss. At least is started short and sweet. The kiss rapidly escalated in intensity, arms wrapped around each other, bodies pressed tightly together. Nineteen days apart made each boy hungry for the others touch. Harry drank in the feel of Cedrics body. It was like coming home again after a very long day, so familiar, so comfortable, so damn right. But it wasnt enough. He needed more. His hands slowly traveled down Cedrics body to the front of his pants and pressed. Mm! Cedric cried out in surprise. Whatre you doing? Harry didnt answer. Or, rather, not verbally. Instead he his hands fumbled with Cedrics belt buckle then carefully undid his fly. Before Cedric could stop him, Harry was on his knees, feeling completely out of his depth but eager to please. Perhaps slightly too eager, as Cedric had to warn him once or twice to be more careful with his teeth. Still, he got the job done. And then it was Cedrics turn to return the favor. Harry was still in the aftershock of this favor when Cedric, having finished cleaning them both up, laid next to him. Harry looked at Cedric, huffing and puffing, and leaned over to kiss him gratefully. I love you, he said again.

I love hearing you say that, Cedric smiled. He propped himself up on his elbow and placed his other hand on Harrys chest, which was still shuddering a bit. Well, I love saying it, Harry smiled back, with a bit of a laugh. He pulled his pants up, then held the hand on his chest with both of his own. So is Cho going to be mad at you for getting back together with me? Harry asked, thinking back to when she slapped him. She was just upset, Cedric said, squeezing Harrys hands with his. She cares a lot about me. I think thats why she was so okay when I came out to her. And, well, I was sort of broken up when we, uh, broke up. But as long as Im happy, shell be happy. Then he laughed. I still cant believe she slapped you! Its not funny! Harry replied. Apparently the whole school is talking about it. You know theres people who think I got her pregnant or something? Youd better not have, Cedric warned him. He tickled Harrys chest a little. Harry squirmed, but smiled. It felt good to smile so genuinely again. It was perfect. Or, rather, would have been perfect, had it not been for one last lingering, nagging thought gnawing Harry. A month ago, Harry wouldve ignored it. But after the promise hed just made, that thered be no more secrets, he couldnt keep quiet. Cedric, theres something else, he began hesitantly. Its nothing bad. Really. Only Seeing the concern in Cedrics eyes, Harry took a deep breath and said quickly, Im not ready to be out. Of course not, Cedric answered. Weve talked about this. With the tournament and everything No, not because of the tournament, Harry insisted. Because of because of me. Because of who I am. Its one thing if you come out. Sure, the whole school would find out. But if it was me the whole world finds out! Like it or not, Im more than a faceless Hogwarts student. Im Harry Potter. The name, not the person. And Im not ready for that. Maybe someday, but right now Harry, Cedric said firmly, squeezing the younger boys hand. How many times do I have to tell you, I would never make you do something youre not comfortable with, whether its sex or coming out or anything. It doesnt matter to me, as long as were together, and youre happy. Got it? Got it, Harry responded. Uhm, Cedric said, I have something for you. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a tiny piece of paper, It was a photo, though it couldnt have been more than five centimeters squared. The image was from the Yule Ball. It was the picture Cho had taken, of Cedric dipping Harry on the dance floor. I was going to give it to you for Valentines Day, Cedric explained. But, well yknow. Ive sort of been carrying around with me. This is so great, thank you, Harry said. Why is it so tiny? Oh! So you can fit it inside your locket, Cedric told him.

Huh. Harry lifted the silver Snitch around his neck. Its circumference was about the same as a 2p coin. Still too small for the picture to fit comfortable. Id have to fold it, Harry observed. Thats why I put a Wrinkle-Free Enchantment on it, Cedric said. You can fold it up as many times as you want, and then when you unfold it, it wont have any creases. Harry tested this, folding the miniscule photo over until it was a size that would fit inside the locket, then unfolded it. There were he and Cedric, dancing and laughing and wrinkleless. He folded it again and put it inside the locket, snapping the Snitch shut. He smiled at Cedric. Thank you, he said. I figure tonight is still technically our three-month anniversary, Cedric said, even if we werent together for most of this month. So well call it an anniversary present. Harry griped Cedrics hand a little tighter. He knew his boyfriend was kidding, but he still had to ask Cedric, he said, do you think that well ever be like we were before, after what happened? Cedric regarded him seriously. No, probably not, he said. Then his expression softened. But I think we can be better. Harry nodded. Better would be good.

Chapter End Notes

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