Matilda The Musical in 40 Minutes

1.
Most parents think their own children are miracles and the brainiest or prettiest people, the bravest soldiers, the best ballerinas, the most special people on earth, dont they? Well, there was one family where this was denitely not the case. Mrs. Wormwood, nine months pregnant, wants more than anything to dance in a certain competition. She does NOT want another baby. Her husband, Mr. Wormwood, doesnt much care, but if there is going to be another baby, it has to be a boy. The doctor who is delivering the beautiful new girl, Matilda, cant believe these parents!

Doctor:
This is one of the most beautiful children that Ive ever seen!

Mr. Wormwood:
Looks like a prune. You need glasses!

Mrs. Wormwood:
This is the worst day of my life.

2.
Five years later Mr. Wormwood, on the phone at home, is running his dodgy business dressing up old banger cars as luxury limousines. Suddenly Mrs. Wormwood screams from the next room. When her husband rushes in she shouts that their ve year old daughter is doing it again!

Mrs. Wormwood:
Five years old and shes reading. Books, if you dont mind. Thats not normal the child is clearly an idiot.

Matilda:
Listen to this It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was an age of wisdom

Mr. Wormwood:
Who do you think you are? Youre off to school in a few days time and I know the headmistress, Agatha Trunchbull. Ive told her all about you. Imagine what shes going to do to a horrible squeaky little goblin like you, boy.

Matilda (as she runs off)

Im Im a girl

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3.
Now Matilda is no push-over. Shes got a powerful imagination and a very strong sense of whats right and whats wrong. While her mother is brushing her teeth, Matilda thinks up a plan to get back at her parents. When her mother leaves the bathroom, Matilda sneaks in and mixes her mothers platinum hair dye with her fathers Oil of Violets Hair Tonic. Shortly afterward her father applies this lotion to the hair hes so proud of. Matilda tells her audience that just because youre small doesnt mean you have to put up with injustice.

Mrs. Wormwood:
Your hair! Its . green!

Mr. Wormwood (looking in a mirror):

My hairs green!

Matilda:
Just because you nd that lifes not fair, it Doesnt mean that you just have to grin and bear it. Sometimes you have to be a little bit naughty.

4.
Matilda, as you might imagine, loves to go to the library. Here she is, sitting on the oor, looking through some books. Mrs. Phelps, the librarian, greets her happily and asks her to tell her a story (remember, Matilda has a strong imagination).

Matilda:
Once upon a time . . . Mrs. Phelps squeals with delight and puts a Closed sign up on the library door.

Matilda:
Once upon a time the two greatest circus performers in the world fell in love and got married. People would come from miles around to see their skill and their love for each other. But though they loved each other, though they were famous and everyone loved them, they were sad. We do not have a child, they said. Their sadness drew them to ever more dangerous feats and they decided to perform the most dangerous feat ever known to man. It was called: the Burning Woman Hurling Through The Air With Dynamite In Her Hair Over Sharks And Spiky Objects, Caught By The Man Locked In The Safe.

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5.
Its the rst day of school. The New Kids skip up to the gates, full of hope and condence. Just as they reach the main gate the Big Kids rush out, terrifying them.

Big Kids (singing):

You listen here, my dear, youll be punished so severely if you Step out of line and if you cry it will be double, You should stay out of trouble, And remember to be extremely careful.

Nigel:
Why?

Girl 1:
My mummy says Im a miracle.

Big Kids:
And so you think youre Able to survive this mess by Being a prince or princess, you will soon See theres no escaping tragedy.

6.
Suddenly theres a testing, testing sound coming through a speaker system. The Big Kids freeze and then so do the New Kids. Agatha Trunchbull, the headmistress, speaks:

Trunchbull:
Prisoners Letchworth, Rottwinkle, Finglebottom and Gubbinsworth: report to my study immediately for re-education. (ercely) WHAT. IS. THE SCHOOL. MOTTO.

Big Kids:
Bambinatum est Maggitum, Miss Trunchbull.

Trunchbull:
Bambinatum est Maggitum. Children are maggots. Back to work, maggots.

7.
The New Kids are in class. Miss Honey, gentle, kind and loving Miss Honey, is their teacher. She starts with the two times tables:

Miss Honey:
My name is Miss Honey. And today is a very special day: your rst day at school. Now, do any of you know any of your two times tables? Wonderful! Matilda, isnt it? Please stand and do as much as you can
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Matilda:
One times two is two, two times two is four, seven times two is fourteen, twelve times two is twenty-four.

Miss Honey (amazed):

Now this is much harder, so dont worry if you dont get it, but two times four hundred and eighty seven

Matilda (immediately):
Nine hundred and seventy-four.

8.
Miss Honey realizes that Matilda is a special child, a gifted child who should go up into an older class. She stands trembling outside the Headmistresss ofce door. Several times she tries to knock but her courage fails her. Finally she gives a timid knock and goes in.

Trunchbull:
Well dont stand there like a wet tissue. Get on with it.

Miss Honey:
Well, yes, theres in, in, in my class there is a little girl called Matilda Wormwood and, Miss Trunchbull, Matilda is a genius and should be placed in the top form with the eleven year olds.

Trunchbull:
What? But she is a squib, a shrimp, an un-hatched tadpole. We cannot just place her in the top form. What about rules, Honey, rules? How do you think I became the English hammer-throwing champion of 1969? By keeping to the rules. If you want to teach success, you have to force the little squits to toe the line.

9.
Back at the Wormwoods house, Mr. Wormwood is in a very bad mood. The Russians who were supposed to be buying his dodgy cars and making him rich have caught him at it. His green hair didnt help. In a t of temper he blames it all on Matilda, who is reading as usual.

Mr. Wormwood:
And whats this? Another aming book? Whats wrong with the telly?

Mrs. Wormwood:
Shes got no respect, that one. Its all books and stories.

Mr. Wormwood:
Heres what I think of your book! (He rips it up.)
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Matilda silently gathers up the pieces of the torn book, then goes into the hall and puts superglue inside her fathers hat. To the audience she sings:

Matilda:
Just because you nd that lifes not fair, it Doesnt mean that you just have to grin and bear it. Mr. Wormwood goes into the hall, smashes his hat down on his head, looks in the mirror and says:

Mr Wormwood:
A man with a jaunty hat will always get respect.

10.
Back at school Matilda witnesses a terrible piece of injustice when Headmistress Trunchbull blames Nigel for pouring treacle on her chair. The Older Kids tell Matilda about the worst punishment of all the dreaded CHOKEY! Despite her terror Matilda rescues Nigel from this terrible fate by pretending hes been sleeping for ages under a pile of coats.

Big Kids (singing the Chokey Chant):

Theres a place you are sent If you havent been good And its made of spikes and wood. And when you scream you dunno if the sound came out Of if the scream in your head Never reached your mouth.

Matilda (to the Trunchbull):

Hes over there under those coats. He suffers from a sleep disorder and feel asleep and we put him in the coats for safety. Didnt we? Didnt we?

Big Kids:
Yes!

Nigel (coming out from under the coats and yawning):

Is it time for school yet, mum?

11.
Meantime, Miss Honey, determined to do her best for Matilda, visits her parents. Mrs. Wormwood is at home practicing her dancing with her rather greasy partner, Rudolpho. Rudolpho and Mrs Wormwood explain to Miss Honey why its stupid to be clever.

Mrs. Wormwood & Rudolpho

(singing or chanting together as they dance): You seem to think that people like people who are clever,
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Its very quaint, its very sweet, but WRONG. What you know matters less Than the volume with which what you dont knows expressed. You gotta be, you gotta be LOUD, LOUD, LOUD!

Miss Honey (storming out):

If you think some stupid dance lesson is more important than your daughter!

12.
While Miss Honey is at the Wormwoods, Matilda is in the library telling Mrs. Phelps the next part of her story about the Acrobat and her husband, the Escapologist. Matilda acts out all the parts.

Escapologist:
Ladies and Gentlemen, boys and girls, The Burning Woman Hurling through the Air with Dynamite has been cancelled cancelled because my wife is pregnant.

The Acrobats Wicked Sister (producing a paper contract):

A contract you have signed to perform this feat, and perform you shall!

Mrs. Phelps:
No, no! What happened next?

Matilda:
I dont know yet. Ill tell you tomorrow.

13.
Back at school theres more trouble. The Trunchbull accuses Matilda of eating a slice of her chocolate cake. Suddenly, Bruce Bogtrotter gives the most enormous burp youve ever heard and Trunchbull realises that Bruce ate the cake. As his rst punishment Bruce is forced to eat the biggest chocolate cake imaginable, brought in by the cook all of it, all by himself. Then she drags him off to the Chokey!

Trunchbull:
Eat!

Bruce:
But I cant eat it all!

Trunchbull:
Eat!

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Matilda:
Go on Bruce!

Trunchbull:
That was the rst part of your punishment. And the second part is chokey!

Matilda (as Bruce is dragged off by Miss Trunchbull)

Thats not right!

14.
In the library Mrs. Phelps waits anxiously for the end of Matildas story. The acrobat hugs her husband and comforts him before they perform the most dangerous act of all time.

Matilda (acting out the story herself as far as possible):

The crowd held their breath as she hurled over the sharks and spiky objects. They watched as the ames crept up the dress. The door of the safe ung open and the escapologist reached out one huge, muscled arm to catch his wife and child and

Mrs. Phelps:
Oh, I cant look!

Matilda:
The Escapologist used just a touch too much foam to kill the ames and suddenly their hands became slippy and she fell. She broke every bone in her body, but lived long enough to have their child. And then she died.

15.
Shortly afterward, at the Wormwood house, Mr. Wormwood is jumping about, shouting about his own cleverness in tricking the Russians into buying 150 old banger cars. Mrs. Wormwood and Matilda react very differently to the news and Matildas father delivers a terrible blow:

Mrs. Wormwood:
Fantastico! Now Ill be able to afford Rudolpho all day long!

Matilda:
But youve cheated them! Thats not fair at all; they trusted you and youve cheated them!

Mr. Wormwood:
Working my ngers to the bone! Tomorrow Im gonna go down to that library and tell that old bag youre never to be let in again!

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16.
To comfort herself Matilda continues her story. Its so real to her that the characters actually appear. The wicked aunt has thrown the Escapologists little girl, now about Matildas age, into a dark cellar and locked the door. The little girl huddles in a corner, shivering and crying. Matilda tries to comfort her but the girl doesnt notice. Suddenly theres a banging on the door and the Escapologist, home early, bursts in and both girls run to him. He puts his arms around both of them and the girls fall asleep from exhaustion. Then the Escapologist makes a promise to his sleeping daughter:

Escapologist:
This demon, this villain, this monster. Bullying children is her game, is it? Then let us see what this creature thinks she can do when the wrath of a grown man stands before her!

Matilda:
And that was the last the little girl ever saw of her father. Because he never ever came home. Ever again.

17.
At school the Trunchbull is once more on the rampage. Lavender has put a newt in Trunchbulls drinking glass. The Trunchbull screams and stands on a chair. And then she lowers her head and makes for Eric, grabbing him by the ears. Matilda cant take any more:

Matilda:
Leave him alone, you BIG FAT BULLY!!! (Everyone gasps.)

Trunchbull (to Matilda):

I shall crush you! I shall pound you, I shall dissect you. I shall feed you to the termites and then I shall smash

Matilda (whispering to herself):

Tip it tip it over! (Magically the glass tips over and the newt/toad leaps onto the Trunchbull who screams and screams and then runs out. Everyone looks at each other and then at Matilda.)

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18.
Miss Honey invites Matilda to her very simple home, with a box for a table and a mattress made of straw. They sit on the oor and have tea and then Miss Honey tells Matilda her story which will remind you of another one youve heard:

Miss Honey:
My father was a wonderful man called Magnus. But unfortunately he died when I was very young in suspicious circumstances. And I was left with my aunt; she was a terror and when I got my job as a teacher, she suddenly presented me with a bill for looking after me all those years.

Matilda:
Miss Honey is this your fathers scarf?

Miss Honey:
Well, yes. My mother gave it to my father before she died. She was

Matilda:
An acrobat.

Miss Honey:
How did you And my father was

Matilda:
An escapologist. Who is your aunt?

Miss Honey:
You know her, Matilda. My aunt is

Both together:
Miss Trunchbull.

19.
And the very same Miss Trunchbull is on the attack again, threatening to put children in the chokey. But this time the children are ghting back.

Trunchbull:
What are you doing? Whats going on? Stop this!

Kids singing:
We are revolting children. We sing revolting songs. Well be revolting children Til our revoltings done, And well have the Trunchbull bolting. We are revolting!

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Trunchbull:
Ive been busy! A whole array of chokeys! One for each and every one of you!

Nigel:
The chalk! Look, the chalk, its moving! Its writing something! (Reading) Agatha, this is Magnus! Give my Jenny back her house. And then leave. Or I will get you like you got me! Run!

Everyone to Miss Trunchbull:

RUN!!! They all look at Matilda.

20.
At long last and after a great deal of trouble, justice triumphs and we have a happy ending to this story. Mr. Wormwood has been found out by the Russian Maa he was trying to fool and the Wormwoods are forced to leave town. Miss Honey, now comfortably off and living in a big house, has a special request.

Miss Honey:
Let Matilda stay here with me! I would look after her with love and respect and care and Id pay for everything. Would you like that, Matilda?

Matilda:
Yes! Yes I would!

Mr. Wormwood:
Well, were a bit short of room Matilda and Miss Honey hug each other.

Together:
They had found each other.

The End

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