Marriage counseling: Working through relationship problems

What is marriage counseling?

Marriage counseling, also called couples therapy, helps couples married or not understand and
resolve conflicts and improve their relationship. Marriage counseling gives couples the tools to communicate
better, negotiate differences, problem solve and even argue in a healthier way.
Marriage counseling is generally provided by licensed therapists known as marriage and family therapists.
These therapists provide the same mental health services as other therapists, but with a specific focus a
couple's relationship.
Marriage counseling is often short term. ou may need only a few sessions to help you weather a crisis. !r
you may need marriage counseling for several months, particularly if your relationship has greatly
deteriorated. "s with individual psychotherapy, you typically see a marriage counselor once a week.
Who can benefit from marriage counseling?
Most marriages and other relationships aren't perfect. #ach person brings his or her own ideas, values,
opinions and personal history into a relationship, and they don't always match their partner's. Those
differences don't necessarily mean your relationship is bound for conflict. To the contrary, differences can be
complementary you know the saying about opposites attracting. These differences can also help people
understand, respect and accept opposing views and cultures.
$ut relationships can be tested. %ifferences or habits that you once found endearing may grate on your
nerves after time together. &ometimes specific issues, such as an e'tramarital affair or loss of se'ual
attraction, trigger problems in a relationship. !ther times, there's a gradual disintegration of communication
and caring.
(o matter the cause, distress in a relationship can create undue stress, tension, sadness, worry, fear and
other problems. ou may hope your relationship troubles )ust go away on their own. $ut left to fester, a bad
relationship may only worsen and eventually lead to physical or psychological problems, such as
depression. " bad relationship can also create problems on the )ob and affect other family members or even
friendships as people feel compelled to take sides.
*ere are typical issues that marriage counseling can help you and a spouse or partner cope with:
+nfidelity
%ivorce
&ubstance abuse
,hysical or mental conditions
&ame-se' relationship issues
.ultural clashes
/inances
0nemployment
$lended families
.ommunication problems
&e'ual difficulties
.onflicts about child rearing
+nfertility
"nger
.hanging roles, such as retirement
Domestic violence
Marriage counseling may also be of help in cases of domestic violence or abuse. *owever, if the abuse or
violence has escalated to the point that you fear for your safety or that of your children, consider contacting
the police or a local shelter or crisis center. %on't rely on marriage counseling alone to resolve these
problems.
Strengthening bonds
ou don't need to have a troubled relationship to seek therapy. Marriage counseling can also help couples
who simply want to strengthen their bonds and gain a better understanding of each other. Marriage
counseling can also help couples who plan to get married. This pre-marriage counseling can help you
achieve a deeper understanding of each other and iron out differences before a union is sealed.
How does marriage counseling work?
Marriage counseling typically brings couples or partners together for )oint therapy sessions. The counselor
or therapist helps couples pinpoint and understand the sources of their conflicts and try to resolve them. ou
and your partner will analy1e both the good and bad parts of your relationship.
Marriage counseling can help you learn skills to solidify your relationship. These skills may include
communicating openly, problem solving together and discussing differences rationally. +n some cases, such
as mental illness or substance abuse, your marriage counselor may work with your other health care
professionals to provide a complete spectrum of treatment.
Talking about your problems with a marriage counselor may not be easy. &essions may pass in silence as
you and your partner seethe over perceived wrongs. !r you may bring your fights with you, yelling and
arguing during sessions. $oth are !2. our therapist can act as mediator or referee and help you cope with
the emotions and turmoil. our marriage counselor shouldn't take sides in these disputes.
ou may find your relationship improving after )ust a few sessions. !n the other hand, you may ultimately
discover that your differences truly are irreconcilable and that it's best to end your relationship.
What if your partner refuses to attend marriage counseling sessions3 ou can go by yourself. +t may be
more challenging to patch up relationships when only one partner is willing to go to therapy. $ut you can still
benefit by learning more about your reactions and behavior in the relationship.
How do you choose a marriage counselor?
Take care when choosing a marriage counselor or therapist. (ot all are licensed or certified, or have
speciali1ed training in couples counseling.
4ook for a marriage counselor who is a licensed mental health professional. Many marriage counselors are
specifically designated as licensed marriage and family therapists 54.M./.T.s6. 4icensing and credentialing
re7uirements can vary by state. $ut most states re7uire advanced training, including a master's or doctoral
degree, graduate training in marriage and family therapy, and training under the supervision of other
e'perts. Many marriage and family therapists choose to become credentialed by the "merican "ssociation
for Marriage and /amily Therapy 5""M/T6, which sets specific eligibility criteria.
Most marriage counselors work in private practice. They may also work in clinics, mental health centers,
hospitals and government agencies. "sk your health care provider for a referral to a marriage counselor.
/amily and friends also may give you recommendations based on their e'periences. our health insurer,
employee assistance program, clergy, or state or local agencies also may offer recommendations. ou can
also look up marriage counselors in your phone book.
What questions should you ask when choosing a marriage counselor?
$efore choosing a new marriage counselor, you can ask lots of 7uestions to see if he or she is the right fit
for you. .onsider asking 7uestions like these:
"re you a clinical member of the ""M/T or licensed by the state, or both3
What is your educational and training background3
What is your e'perience with my type of problem3
*ow much do you charge3
"re your services covered by my health insurance3
Where is your office, and what are your hours3
*ow long is each session3
*ow often are sessions scheduled3
*ow many sessions should + e'pect to have3
What is your policy on canceled sessions3
*ow can + contact you if + have an emergency3
Making the decision to go to marriage counseling can be tough. $ut marriage counseling can help you cope
better with a troubled relationship rather than trying to ignore it or hoping it gets better on its own.
This article is strictly about marriage counseling and what it can do for people
who think they need it. Marriage counseling is usually short term, not more than a few
visits. It can help for different situations such as divorce, finances, anger, and more. The
counselors help the couples find the sources of their arguments and troubles, and help
them find ways to resolve them. It can be hard to open up to a marriage counselor and
some sessions may just be filled with silence. Also, you always want to find a marriage
counselor who is a licensed mental health professional.
Marriage counselors show leadership because theyre trying to lead couples to a
better life. They try and lead couples to a better relationship with each other. Marriage
counseling, also called couples therapy, helps couples ! married or not ! understand
and resolve conflicts and improve their relationship"#$%. These counselors try and make
an easier life for couples and help them get along. These couples look up to their
counselor for help and clarity. Marriage counseling can also help couples who simply
want to strengthen their bonds and gain a better understanding of each other"#&%. 'ome
people depend on their marriage counselor and look at them as their leaders.