Vendemmian - Drunk, Stupid and Goth

After Vendemmian split up in 1997, I wrote up my story of the times wed had.
I recently re-discovered the file and after a lot of re-writing here it is -my story.
Its been a very interesting experience going back over all those times, looking at
old photos and the wealth of stuff Id collected in my memory boxes. There were
many good memories, some not so good, but mostly good.
All details contained within are as accurate as I can remember. Some names have
been changed deliberately.
Enjoy!
Mark Douglas, September 2013

Eternal gratitude to Callie for all her help

Copyright 2013 - Mark Douglas

Mark Douglas can be contacted at

archwaytowersmusic@yahoo.co.uk

Dublin - 26th April 1997

Its 5am and Im freezing cold. Im half-drunk, half hung-over.
We are huddling outside Dublin ferry port, me and Callie, waiting for them to
open to passengers so we can board the first ferry back to Holyhead - the first leg
of a long journey back home to London.
It has already taken us an hour and a half to flag down a taxi willing to pick up a
couple of drunken Goths in the middle of the night.
We shouldnt really be here at all. We should be tucked up in a nice cosy bed
in Dublin somewhere. My best mate Dave should be with us as well (not in the
bed that would be weird, but he should be in the next room or snoring on the
floor).
But he isnt. Hes probably in that nice cosy bed. Or still up drinking Jack and Coke
more likely.
The reason were not with Dave is that weve had an argument. A big one. And
hes buggered off and left us.
A member of the port staff arrives to start his shift and gives us a sorry look
which says he cant let us in yet. We will have to stay out in the cold for another
half hour. I look at Callie and wonder how we ended up here...

Beginnings
The first band I was ever in was called Sons of Chance a band I formed
with my mate James when I was in school. We were totally dreadful of course,
playing Sex Pistols and Joy Division covers along with a few of our own primitive
compositions. But that didnt stop us sending out demo tapes to the music
press. We had no money so we wrapped them in newspaper rather than buying
jiffy bags. Imagine my surprise then, when I opened Melody Maker and found a
review! Ok, it wasnt a good review. It said wrapped in newspaper with sound
quality to match. But all publicity is good publicity right?
James went off to study at university and Sons of Chance came to an end. Then I
spent a few years in musical wilderness before deciding the world was ready for
me. So here I was, at the age of 20, scouring the back pages of Melody Maker to
find my ticket to Rock & Roll fame.
The advert reads Bassist into Nephilim, New Model Army, Sisters of Mercy 85...
Short and to the point.

I give the number a call and Im greeted by a miserable, unenthusiastic voice.

This is Steve. The following evening Im at Kingston railway station where we
meet and go to a local pub. He talks (a lot), I listen and he plays me some tapes
of his band Restoration. Hes enthusiastic in real life and I really want to play in a
real band. He gives me tapes to listen to, which I do on the train home. I really
want to be in this band!
A few weeks later I get the call. Im in! I meet Dave, the guitarist and we start
rehearsals. Its not the most professional setup. Were in Steves bedroom with
me and my little 30 watt bass amp and one chorus effect on one side of the
room. Dave is on the other side with his borrowed guitar, borrowed effects and
a tiny amp. Rhythmic accompaniment is provided by a Yamaha drum machine
pumped through a crappy little Saisho ghetto blaster. Despite all this, it seems
to work and before long were in a proper rehearsal studio getting ready for our
debut gig at the Town & Country Club 2. Wow, my first proper gig. I spend hours
imagining how great its going to be!

Steve, Dave and Me

First gig
I think my imagination needs to be sacked! Our
dressing room is basically a corridor, not even
enough room to swing a cat let alone a bloody
guitar! I rather sheepishly tell the bar staff Im
in the band when I get my first drink but they
still charge me full price. This is Rock & Roll?
This is great! I love it. The place is packed.
I think everyone is really here for the
headliners, Rosetta Stone, and not us but
I dont care. Were on stage, people are
watching us and some are even clapping
between songs. Its over before we know it.
Were done and we hit the bar. Dave is getting
horrendously drunk. Dave has passed out.
Dave is pronounced dead by a passing medical
student. We check. No, hes dribbling and slurring and most certainly not dead.
Bloody students!
So that was it, our debut performance. Were all excited now and are feverishly
writing and rehearsing new songs.

Recording
Its July 91 and Im off to an actual recording studio. Weve scraped together
enough money to pay for one days recording at La Rocka studio in Turnpike Lane,
London. Its not a bad studio either although theres a distinct whiff of wee in the
air mixed with stale beer and smoke. Our engineer for the day is called Scratchy.
I dont like to think why hes called that but I keep a safe distance just in case.
Weve been here for six hours. Well, five actually cos we spent an hour in
the pub, but somehow weve recorded and mixed three songs. Its been an
interesting experience and hearing our own songs coming back at us through the
big speakers is amazing! Actually, hang on, its not that amazing and I will soon
come to my senses and realise that its rubbish. But for now we have our first
demo tape and its all rather exciting.

Dave, Steve and Me - The Bull & Gate

Nights to forget
Our next gig is at Gossips Nightclub in London on 3rd September 91. Its the first
of many that goes down on the list of nights to forget. We dont go on stage
until late and weve all had a fair bit to drink. I find myself at one point playing
the bass line to Summer Loving from Grease with some old suited guy dancing
on stage! Dave is mad at me afterwards.

Off to the seaside

Later that month were off to the seaside. Were in Scarborough supporting a
band called The Ancestry. Whatever possessed us to think this gig will be good Ill
never know! As well as the three of us we now have Mr B around whos acting as
our manager/roadie. Weve all piled into the back of a rented transit van and
have made our way up here and when we arrive Im sent to book us in to our
B&B on account of the fact that I look the least weird!
The night before is quite a laugh, messing around along the seafront and playing
the amusement arcades. Weve even found a Goth club! Mind you, this is 91 and
Goth is still slightly fashionable!

We spend the day of the gig nursing hangovers in the pub where the gig will be
tonight. Its a pretty shit pub at that and we play a pretty shit gig to match. This
touring lark is not all I had thought it would be!
The next night were back in London at The Camden Underworld supporting
Rosetta Stone again. This is much better and, in this topsy turvy world of Rock &
Roll, everything seems worth it once more. Then its on to The Bull and Gate in
Kentish Town supporting The Ancestry again and The Last Cry. Fast forward 18
years and me and Dave find ourselves on the same bill as The Last Cry again. Its
like times stood still!

The Marquee
Its October and we do more dates with Rosetta Stone, travelling to Grantham,
Leicester, Leeds and finishing at the dizzy heights of The Marquee in London.
Wow! The Marquee. Everyone has played here. All the greats at some point have
trod these legendary boards. Ive been here loads of times to watch bands and
always dreamed of what it must be like to play here and now Im actually doing
it. Its great. Its so good to play a really professional venue. I love this place. Just
as well. Well be back here many more times.

New songs
Weve been busy writing more songs too
and in January 92 were back in La Rocka
to record our 2nd demo Epsychidion- I
know, its a bit of a mouthful but it means
something to Steve! Weve spent longer on
this than the last demo but its still turned
out pretty crap. Im starting to think its got
something to do with the noise thats being
sung into the mic! Steves vocal style is more
growling than singing and Im not sure this is
really working.

Headlining
Its April before we manage to get ourselves another gig. We seem to have
bagged ourselves a regular spot supporting Rosetta Stone, the best up and
coming band in the Goth scene, and were playing Leicester, Birmingham and for
the second time in four months, The Marquee. But for me its all about the next
gig. On 3rd May 92 we finally play our first headline gig. Were playing at The
Underworld in Camden and this time weve got our own support band! Hastings
band Children on Stun will become good mates over the next few years and we
will build up a healthy rivalry with them playing many gigs together. But back to
this gig. This gig is really good. Loads of our mates are down the front jeering us
on. At some point one of them has let her pet rat loose onstage. We dont bother
to ask why shes brought a rat to gig, it seemed normal at the time!
And now were off on our own headline tour taking in Leicester, Glasgow
and Sheffield and ending up back at the Marquee again. Our support band is
Empyrean, and I have to admit the tour isnt the greatest success but weve had
a laugh and at the Marquee we have a crowd of around 300 people who actually
seem to be enjoying themselves.

A proper record
Its now June and Daves been made
redundant - total crap. On the plus side,
hes received a rather hefty
pay-off which hes decided to invest
wisely. Actually, no he hasnt, but he has
brought some new equipment for the
band and financed a vinyl three track EP,
Tears and Ribbons which is recorded at
the rather plush (by our standards) Vons
studios in Islington. Weve even spent
more than one day on it, three or four
in fact, but despite a good studio and
engineer, Steve still sounds crap!
And Steves found us some crap artwork to match! Im starting to wonder if well
ever put out a recoding Im actually proud of so Im happy when were back on
tour and playing live gigs once more - something I think we are definitely getting
better at.

We do a series of small headline gigs with Empyrean supporting again then head
off to Nottinghams Rock City supported by a band called Die Laughing. This is
early days for them and well see them on stage with us again later in the 90s.
Next stop Manchester at The Banshee. Empyrean are opening and me and Dave
are getting happily pissed. We do our set but afterwards something is wrong.
Dave is screaming at me for being too pissed to play. I think Dave is too pissed,
and anyway, who is he to tell me Im too pissed? Im thinking of quitting. In the
coming months I will realise that this is the curse of Manchester. We never have a
good experience here and we should learn not to book in this city, but we dont!
Once more the tour has ended up at The Marquee. Despite the gig being set
up by us with Children on Stun and Every New Dead Ghost as support acts,
somehow Bones, the singer from ENDG has managed to get the gig listing to
Melody Maker and The Marquee with them as headliners!
With us away from London on tour theres not a lot we can do about it. It nearly
comes to a head when we arrive at The Marquee. Mr B and Steve approach
Bones but hes not budging from the headline spot and theres not much we
can do about it without resorting to fisty-cuffs which very nearly happens. Steve
makes constant remarks whilst on stage about us being headliners much to the
annoyance of ENDG.

Time for a change

Tour over, its back to song writing. Were actually getting quite good at this but
were coming up against the same problem again as on our earlier recordings.
Our relationship with Steve is rapidly falling apart. Me and Dave now openly slag
him off and our friends are starting to respond with comments like Yeah, well he
cant sing in tune for a start. We decide he has to go and me and Dave will start
a new band without him and with Mr B as our manager. Now all we have to do is
tell him.
But weve got one more gig booked with Steve for an all day festival in
Manchester on October 8th. Me and Dave half heartily rehearse and for a laugh
change a few songs around deliberately to throw Steve when hes on stage!
Weve decided how to tell him. Weve made up some flyers to hand out on the
day saying that it will be Restorations last gig!
Remember, this is Manchester, so its never going to go well for us. The gig

is really boring. Its an all day festival with 12 bands playing with us second
headliners to Sins of the Flesh. We have to arrive by 12 noon for sound-check
and we spend the rest of the day trying not to get too drunk. An hour before
going on stage Mr B hands around our flyers. Hes even given one to Steve. Not,
perhaps, the best way to sack him but he gets the message. Me and Dave are
really pleased when the gig is over and we can head back to London and put
Restoration behind us.
Steve will try again in a few months and call his band Restoration 2, or as he
writes it, Restoration II. We amuse ourselves for hours calling his new band
Restoration eleven and wonder why hes decided to join a football team!
With Steve out of the way, me and Dave along with Mr B who continues to be
our manager, start to look for a new vocalist and a new name.

Dominic
The name hasnt taken too long to find. Whilst on their way home from one
of their drunken binges, Dave and Mr B have seen the word Vendemmia in
an Italian delicatessen shop window. Adding an n to the end of it makes it
Vendemmian and a good name. They phone me to see if I like it and I admit, at
the time, it sounds cool. So thats that. We will be called Vendemmian.
As for the new vocalist, hes not been too difficult to find either. A quick look
through Melody Maker and we find an advert in the Vocalist Available section
for a guy named Dominic.
Me, Dave and Mr B are sitting in a pub by Waterloo station enjoying a nice pint
and some crisps waiting for Dominic. He arrives, tall bloke, long hair, quite posh.
We all get on well and find we have similar musical tastes. Dominics brought his
Walkman and plays us some tapes hes done on his own and he sounds ok. A vast
improvement over Steve but Im soon to realise that its not much to compare to.
We play him our stuff and by the end of the night Dominic is our new vocalist.
We set about writing songs aiming to record a demo at the end of the year. It
has all been going well and by October, we are ready. We do a rough demo on
Dominics four track round at Mr Bs house beforehand and then, in December,
we return to La Rocka Studios to properly record the demo. Its a three track
affair simply named Vendemmian.
Initial reactions to the new demo are good, many people commenting on how
much of an improvement Dominic is.
After Christmas, we rehearse and write new songs whilst Mr B concentrates on
setting up the all-important gigs.
We make our debut in Leicester on 3rd March 93, a gig set up by our good friend
Dave Morrison, at The Desire Club. We meet up outside La Rocka. Mr B has a
driver booked but he doesnt show. We persuade his brother Pete to drive us
instead. We get there and play our debut to a small, but enthusiastic, crowd.

Dominic

Dime Bar?
Six days later, we play our London debut at The Dome in Tufnell Park. It has
turned out to be a great gig. Due to a popular TV advert running at the moment,
Dime Bars are all the rage and we get loads of them thrown at us (in a good way).
The end result of this is we come off stage covered in melted chocolate!
In April, we play three more dates with Empyrean. This time in Glasgow,
Manchester (disaster, obvioulsy) and the Moonlight Club in London.

Drummers
Something weve been talking about for a while now is getting a drummer. Weve
known this Italian guy called Robbie for a while and weve found out he plays
drums. After buying him a few pints down the pub weve convinced him to play
for us. With Robbie on board we continue writing new material. We get around
the language barrier with Robbie by miming or playing air drums going you
know, boom, boom, crash, crash!. It seems to work.

Where?
Festivals. These should be great events for bands. In theory. Lots of bands should
mean lots of people. Mind you, that only works if they are well organised and
promoted. May 15th and we are booked to play the first of two all dayers over
two weekends at The Island venue in Ilford. Where? Yes, exactly! Ilfords about
15 miles from central London and not exactly the easiest place to get to. A very
bizarre event which, to say the least, is very poorly attended. Anyway, despite
the small crowd and the boredom of waiting around all day to play, the gig goes
ok. The second weekend however, and its a different story. Every band is running
late and by the time it comes for us to play (second from last) time is so short
that we are bumped off the bill. There is only one thing for it and that is a night
out at Slimelight to get pissed!

Back to the studio

Later in May and were back in La Rocka studios once more to record our second
demo Lords of the Flame. Having a drummer gives us a stronger sound and
compared with our first demo this is a lot heavier and a reflection of what Dave is
listening to at the moment.
The gigging continues and our next one is at Londons Camden Palace. Were
a little dubious about this but can hardly turn down playing at such a large

venue. The idea is for it to be a club with one Metal band one Goth band and an
anything goes band. The turnout is not too bad. There are a few hundred here
but Camden Palace holds about 2000 so it looks empty. Anyway, we play well and
are paid and being able to say weve played Camden Palace makes it worthwhile.
The next day we are on more familiar territory at The Moonlight club in West
Hampstead playing to about 200 people.

Manchester
After a gig in Birmingham were off to Manchester again. God knows why, I
thought it was on the list of places to never play again? We arrive 3 hours early
and have been waiting outside in the van for the club to open. We finally get in
and sound-check. All is well but we have a funny feeling the curse of Manchester
is about to strike when the promoter tells us that he is not expecting a huge
turnout as there is a free club on just around the corner at the same time. The
club opens and weve been hanging around, having a few pints, and we can
count the paying customers on one hand. We decide to cut our losses and get
the hell out before playing, what would undoubtedly be, a very embarrassing gig.
However, there is a problem. The soundman is not too happy with this, as hes
humped all the PA gear in only to have to take it all out again for nothing. We
strike a bargain. We lug all his PA gear out the venue and into his van whilst he
sits there drinking the beer weve brought him, and then we call it quits. To make
things worse the club has just one very small and steep windy staircase for which
to load and unload gear!
We should know by now not to come to Manchester ever again but we never
learn and well be back again next year.

Flyering at Victoria
Saturday afternoon and Im with Dave, Dom and Mr B standing at Victoria train
station. Weve come up with a cunning plan. Were playing the Marquee in a
few weeks time so to promote it we need to flyer like crazy. Were here today
as The Sisters of Mercy are playing with Depeche Mode at Crystal Palace. The
vast majority of those going will need to get a train from Victoria so weve come
armed with 1000s of flyers to hand out to the travelling fans. Clever huh?
Today is also significant for me as one of those nameless 1000s who I give a flyer
to is my future wife, Callie, who Ill meet again at the Sanctuary club in Edgeware
Road a few weeks from now.

Me at The Dome

The flyering has paid off. Were back playing in London at The Marquee to around
500 people and its great. You dont have the highs without suffering the lows!
Or indeed, without having to spend an afternoon handing out flyers at Victoria
station!

ain
Off to the seaside ag
The seaside town of Margate is not, perhaps, the most likely of places to find
a Goth club but thats exactly where we find ourselves a week later. Thanks to
some friends from down that way we are playing The Pisces Club. It holds about
50 people at the most and the stage is only just large enough to fit the four of us
on. However, its great fun and weve impressed the landlord enough to let us
stay behind for a good after hours session.
By now weve started to attract a bit of a following so we are standing in the
Worlds End pub in Camden being interviewed for the fanzine Curse in Vein. Im
very hung-over, Dave is not much better, Dominic is bright and cheerful and
acting serious and Robi is nowhere to be seen. We go to the bar, get drinks, and
engage in general chitchat. Several pints later were reminded that were actually
here to do an interview and a tape recorder is brought forth. Over the course
of the following few hours we discuss our music, slag off just about every other
band going and make Dominic go to the bar quite a few times. Much later Robi

arrives. He says about five words for the interview and leaves, as does Dom who
needs to get home for his tea. Me and Dave continue drinking the afternoon
away and, when I see the 20 page interview in the next edition of the fanzine, I
have a sneaking suspicion that the tape recorder was left running because I dont
remember speaking that much bollocks!

Resurrection & our first CD

Dave has been talking with a guy called Andy who owns Resurrection Records
in Camden. He has already been selling our demos in his shop and now Dave
has got him to co-finance a CD for us. Weve worked out recording and pressing
costs and come up with our share of the money. So in October were in St. Marks
studios in Stonebridge Park and begin recording a six track CD to be entitled
Between Two Worlds.
We record over a couple of weekends
during the night (to keep the costs
down). The whole things very different
from what weve been used to doing
in La Rocka. We take it a lot more
seriously and some more than others.
Dom is insisting on singing his vocals
in darkness with just a blue light for
company, whilst Im getting tetchy
because there are too many people in
the control room whilst Im doing my
bass.
Weve made a schoolboy error. In an
effort to keep our costs to a minimum
we decided to mix the album straight after recording it and weve booked a
night session. It sounds horrible as were all totally knackered and cant tell
what sounds ok or not. We decide to throw more money at it and book another
session to remix it during the daytime.
Weve overrun a bit and by the time we emerge from the studio to go home we
have an issue. The studio is situated next door to an Afro Caribbean center and,
whilst weve been in the studio mixing, a big community event has started. The
car park is rammed and people have started blocking each other in, including us.
We go over to the club with the offending cars registration number and politely
ask them to make an announcement for it to be moved. This doesnt go down

too well but we are given the general impression that they may (or may not)
do something about it when it suits them. We wait half an hour and nothing
happens so we return and ask again but still nothing happens. After an hour or so
more of this we give up and call the police. This area of London doesnt really like
the police so their arrival in a riot van is not particularly welcomed! The police
advise us to go back into the studio, lock the doors and wait for them to sort it
out in case things get nasty. Four hours later we finally get the all clear to leave
and I put my foot to the floor to get us out of there as fast as I can.

achine
Back to a drum m
It has been a couple of weeks now since we recorded and mixed the CD and
things have been manic with artwork, mastering and pressing for the CD. It has
kind of slipped our minds that weve not heard from, or even seen, Robi since we
recorded. He never even turned up for the remix session.
Robis just informed me hes had enough and is quitting the band and even
quitting England and returning home to Italy. Shit.
We now have a completed CD that were pretty pleased with but no drummer
and we have gigs coming up again. Weve decided to go back to a drum machine
again. The only problem is that we sold our last one when we got Robi and weve
just spent all our money on the CD. There is talk of putting what little money we
have on a horse Theres a nice little filly running in the 2.15 at Doncaster. Then
we decide perhaps its best we just try to sell some advance copies of the CD. We
blag, borrow, and scrape together what we can and manage to get ourselves a
Roland R8 and Atari computer to run it from. We frantically spend many nights
and days trying to make it sound like a real drummer before our next gig at The
Marquee on 14th November.
Everything is becoming so rushed and were running out of time before we have
to play. Weve done the drum programming but we still need to remember how
to play the songs live. So, were back into the rehearsal studios the day before the
next gig. Weve been in the hot and smelly room for about four hours now and
Dave has finished rehearsals on his back in a really bad cold sweat. He is really
ill. He isnt that much better the next day but going into gig mode has made him
forget his illness and we do ok. However, for me its another story. Were halfway
through our set. God Im hot! Im sweating really badly. I feel wobbly and can
hardly stand and Ive not even drunk that much. I make it through to the end but
afterwards Im just lying on a bench in the dressing room sweating really badly. In
the end I get Dom to drive me home and I spend the next week really ill in bed.

Weve two more gigs before the year is out, The Racehorse in Northampton and
then The Pieces Club in Margate. Once more Margate is a real good laugh. Callie
is now well and truly on board as an official WAG and she and Nashie, our newly
employed roadie, spend the whole of the gig at the side of the stage with their
fingers constantly on the smoke machine so we can hardly see a thing on stage.
After another lock-in we eventually go back to friends Neil and Vanessas house
where were staying. Were totally bladdered and are highly amused to find that
the smoke machine is still warm and working. Weve managed to fill the whole of
a Ford Transit with dry ice - what fun! Dom is driving and he is none to impressed
though! At Neil and Vanessas house we party a bit more and finally pass out but
not before Dave mistakes a wardrobe for a urinal!

New Year s Eve

Weve been hanging out at the Sanctuary Club in London since it opened a few
months back. Its a small club but great fun. Our roadie Nashie is now one of
the DJs so we go every week and get in free and he just plays what we ask him
to. We chat, dance and generally get wasted on Red Stripe and Diamond White.
Dave has been having chats with the clubs promoter Owen and it has been put to
us that we play the New Years Eve party there. Dave thinks this is a great idea. I
dont but I eventually agree with a disclaimer that I will definitely be drunk.
We meet up in the pub upstairs early in the afternoon to sound check and set up
the PA. We actually have no intentions of doing any of these things. Its just an
excuse to start the New Years drinking early! There is quite a gang of us here and
its a good four hours before we even attempt to do anything.
We play and as promised, Im pretty out of it. Under normal circumstances, it
would be embarrassing but it doesnt seem to matter tonight as everyone else is
in a similar state. Halfway through Russ from Margate is shouting and pointing at
me. I have no idea what hes on about until we finish the song and he holds up
my broken bass string in front of me. I hadnt even realised it was broken. I carry
on regardless - drunk as I am Im still professional enough to manage without a
D string. Then the drum machine stops. We look at it. We look at it again and
then realise its not going to miraculously start working so I tap the keys. Nothing.
I tap the keys really hard. Still nothing. Im trying to focus on what it says on the
screen but its in double, maybe triple, vision. Hitting it doesnt help either and in
the end I resort to the tried and tested method of turning it on and off. Its 1993
though so it takes 10 minutes for the thing to reboot and load the sequencer files
from floppy disk but tonight in our inebriated state, its nearer 20 minutes.

Me with only 3 strings!

At the end of the night Owens refusing to pay us as he thinks we were too pissed
to play. He probably has a point but we have arguments, stand our ground, and
eventually get some money out of him.

Leeds
We do another Marquee gig in January 94
followed by a visit to Sheffield then in February
we go to the Goth Capital of the World, Leeds.
My God! This is almost as bad as Manchester.
Its only marginally better because we are not
in Manchester. Four people have turned up and
two of them are only here to play pool all night.
We play regardless as the promoter wont pay
us otherwise. Me and Dave are so bored after
the first song that we leave the stage and play
sitting on stools at the bar. Poor Doms mic lead
wont stretch that far though so we feel sorry
for him and take him a chair on stage so he can
sit down too. We leave depressed.

!
Were on Radio One
Im not sure quite what to make of what happens next. Dom has just called
me to say that we are being featured on Radio One this weekend on a Sunday
afternoon programme called The Rock War. Its basically a battle of the bands
feature. A track from each band is played and then the listeners vote for
their favourite. What I dont get is why Dom didnt tell us anything about it
beforehand. Hes starting to act likes hes running the band lately but more on
that in a minute. For now though, we sit around the kitchen table listening to The
Rock War. We come second. No big deal, we didnt expect to win. Oh, and yes, I
did vote for myself!

Marketing gurus
So, back to Dominic. Whats he playing at? Hes put us up for that Rock War
thing without mentioning it to Dave or me and now hes going on about ditching
our deal with Resurrection. We have a pretty good deal with Resurrection. Its
a 50/50 split on all profits. Now where the hell do you think were going to get
anything better than that at the moment?
Now we find ourselves sitting in a pub somewhere in Hampshire talking to some
girl hes made contact with through a small ad in his local paper. Apparently,
shes a marketing guru and can do big things for us. Why me and Dave are even
entertaining the idea I dont know but I suspect the idea of an afternoon in the
pub is too tempting to turn down. We listen to what this guru has to say and it
turns out (after weve flown a couple of ideas up the flagpole, done some blue
sky thinking and sung from the same hymn sheet a few times) that it boils down
to sending out some mysterious flyers on a weekly basis something like :

Week One Guess What?

Week Two This band are great
Week Three Want to know more?
Week Four Vendemmian!

Dave and me finish our pints very quickly and head outside leaving Dom with the
guru. Its some time before we can control our laughter enough to make our
way home.

Im leaving
Things with Dominic are becoming strained. He has his head in the clouds on
the business side of things and Im not sure how much longer we can put up
with him. Things are just a bit crap at the moment. Dom is being an idiot and his
singing (if you can call it that) is getting on my tits too. I would really like to have
a singer who was, well, a singer. Weve been trying to write new material but
were not really getting anywhere with it. Luckily, weve managed to persuade
Lionel, who owns the pub where Sanctuary is held, to let us use his basement
as a rehearsal space for free so at least we are not wasting money on rehearsal
rooms. We keep coming back here week after week and get nothing done. Rather
than looking at ourselves we blame our writers block on that dull black bit of
plastic sitting in the corner that is the drum machine. Even that is getting on my
tits now with its stupid beep, beep, beep, beep metronome.
Ive had enough! Ive decided to leave the band. Weve had yet another
unproductive rehearsal and a band meeting this week and Im sick to death of it
all and decide to quit.
10.15 Saturday night.
Im at the Sanctuary Club again. I feel liberated. No more rehearsing, no more
travelling up and down the motorway to play to a handful of people, no more
endless amounts of money going out of my bank account never to be seen again.
Time to just enjoy life. Just me and Callie and whatever we choose to do. This is
great and, yes, Ill have another beer please barman. Daves here too. I have no
grudges with him and we have a beer or two together and a chat.
2am Sunday morning - several beers later.
Brilliant! Ive decided to re-join the band. This will be awesome. I cant wait to
start rehearsing and playing gigs again!
Despite my 48-hour departure from the band, nothings changed, but Dom thinks
he may have found us a drummer.

Russ
We go down to Camberley where Doms arranged an audition. His names Russ
and he seems a nice bloke. Hes a bit of a metal guy but arent all drummers?
Hes got a massive kit and hes pretty darn good. We play a few songs with him
and it goes well. Hes in. Russ is our new drummer.

With Russ on board, we try writing new songs again and now it seems to be
coming together once more. Things are still a bit strained with Dom though but
for now, we carry on. We play our first gig with Russ in April in Northampton.
Dom turns up and hes got himself a new pair of army boots. These are not
just any old army boots though, these have little pockets on the sides and Dom
foolishly tells us hes using them to store Penguin biscuits. Whilst he sleeps in the
back of the van on the way to the gig we pilfer his tuck from his special pockets
and from his lunchbox. When he awakes and finds out his lunch his mum has
lovingly made for him has gone hes not best pleased. We laugh it off but hes
really mad. He thinks were always picking on him and using him as the butt of
our jokes. We cant really argue with this as its true!
Russs debut goes well and we follow with another London gig at The Marquee.

Time for a change #2

Next, were off to Nottingham. There are still bad vibes in the air with Dom but
the gig has gone ok. Im standing by the bar chatting to someone when Dave
bursts through in a rage. Hes mad with Dom. Theyve had a massive row. I never
really get to the bottom of what its about but all the bad vibes and tensions
of the last few months have come to a head. Dave and Dom square up to each
other but it goes no further than verbals.
We endure a depressing journey back to London. We stop at the motorway
services and the row breaks out again and now Daves girlfriend, Yaz, is slapping
and kicking Dom! When we reach London we get pulled by the cops for driving
suspiciously slow. Were not up to anything suspicious at all. Its just the way
Dom drives. Thankfully, the cops dont ask him to open the back of the van as its
packed full of people and entirely illegal.
A day or so later and Daves just asked me would you rather be in a band with
me or Dom? Its not really a question that needs asking and we promptly decide
to sack Dom. As it was Dave and Mr B who sacked Steve, its my turn to do the
firing. I call him that night. Another chapter over.

Matt

Matt
Im round at Daves house and were sifting through a list of potential new
singers. After staring at this blank sheet of paper for a few minutes Dave plays
me a tape hes got from a friend of a friend of a singer called Matt. The key word
here is singer. Not a growler, not a shouter but a real bona fide singer who can
sing in tune, in time and write about normal things, none of this mystical bullshit
weve been enduring for the last few years. It seems like he even understands the
concept of vocal harmonies!
Matts interested in joining us so things are looking good on the new singer
front. Not so good is the fact that Russ has decided to quit. Hes pissed off with
not getting very far in the short time hes been with us and Im getting the
impression he thinks were a bit dysfunctional, mental, or maybe both which is
quite understandable. Hes on the lookout for a new band. Hes being cool about
it though and has said he will happily drum on any future recordings we do and
help prepare backing tracks for gigs.
Its Saturday morning and Im making myself a cup of tea when my flatmate,
and band roadie, Nashie comes in and says, Oh, your new singer is in the living
room, why dont you take him a cup of tea and get to know each other. Nashie
had met up with him at the Electric Ballroom in Camden last night and let him
crash at our place.
I take him some tea Hi, Im Mark the bassist, I have to go out now, Ill see you
later. Unfortunately, I cant stay and chat with Matt as I need to accompany
Callie on a shopping trip. Shes totally out shoes and could probably do with a
new bag as well! After a good six hours or so looking at shoes and bags we get
back and Matts still here. Hes spent the day with Nashie listening to our stuff
and has re-written the lyrics to a couple of our songs, including what will become
one of our most popular songs, Masquerade.
Over the next few weeks we get to know Matt a little better and he seems a top
guy. A good laugh, a bit wet behind the ears perhaps but I think this can really
work. Which is just as well as the German label Hyperium are on at us, wanting a
track for a new compilation theyre putting together.

Back in the studio

Its 11th June and were back in La Rocka recording two tracks over the weekend.
Theres a really happy and positive vibe in the studio, the sun is shining and we
have our new band together. Russ, who is playing session drums for us, has just
heard Matts first vocal take and decided to not bother looking for a new band
afterall. We record two tracks both of which are from the back catalogue but
with Matts shiny new lyrics for them replacing Doms mystical nonsense. We
record Masquerade and Hang the Shame.
Its going brilliantly and were all feeling this is the start of something really great.
Once were all done and the mix is finished me and Nashie head home and listen
to the tape over and over again whilst getting very merry on cheap wine and mad
dog 20/20!
Resurrection are keen to put out another CD so weve spent the last month
rehearsing and writing new material. Its all been going surprisingly well
and were in a position now to get some new songs recorded. Theres a new
confidence in the band and its all quite enjoyable!
Weve booked the next few weekends out in St Marks studio to record our first
CD with the new line up. It goes really well and Gavin, the engineer, knows how
to get the best out of us. We all waste a good few hours on Sunday night by
watching Italy loose to Brazil in the world cup finals. For me and my mate Si, who
is with us, this is fantastic as weve both had bad experiences with Italian girls
recently!
We record six tracks. Solitude, Treasured, This Bleeding Heart, Masquerade,
Depths of Innocence and Never-ending Tide. The CD itself we will call Through
the Depths of Innocence
A few weeks later and we find ourselves traipsing around various graveyards of
North London with our mate Australian Steve, whos handy with a camera, taking
photos for the CD artwork. This takes a while as we need to find somewhere
quiet where theres no people about to stop and watch as we strike our moody
poses. Hes also doing some weird shit with feathers and animal skulls back at
his house for the main cover art. Being the only member of the band with a
computer Im busy pulling it all together and laying out the artwork. When its all
done I save it to a floppy disk and take it down to a newly established CD pressing
company who, for the purposes of this story, we shall call Tonic.

Tonic has assured me its all going well

but they have tweaked the artwork
slightly and want me to come and
check it. Yes, I say everything looks
absolutely fine except that its black
and white instead of colour, youve
changed all the fonts, the font size has
changed from 10pt to about 40pt, youve
mis-spelt several words and deleted half
of the text that was originally on there.
Apart from that its all perfect!
Tonic tell me it actually looks better
the way they have done it. Im open to
constructive criticism, but on this occasion I have to disagree and get them to
re-do it all again. And again. They finally get it right and they get delivered just in
time to miss our debut gig.

Another debut gig

August. Its baked potato hot and were stuck in the basement of The Kings Arms
(aka Sanctuary Club / our rehearsal room) getting ready for what will be this line
ups first gig. Were playing at the club later tonight and just going through a last
minute run through. Callie, Russ, his girlfriend Claire and me go back to my place
to tart up before the gig. Were driving along the A40 towards home when
theres a very strange knocking noise coming from the engine. The temperature
gauge is suspiciously high. We just about limp home where I leave the car for the
next few years. Who needs a car in London anyway?
You wont fucking believe it, but theres a bloody massive queue outside.
There are loads of people here. Daves on the phone from the venue. Im used
to Daves exaggerations so Im guessing he means there are about three people
outside. We get a taxi back to the club to discover that, on this occasion, Dave
wasnt exaggerating at all. Oh my God, theres a big queue!
The gig is awesome and we go down a storm. Everyone is melting in the heat
and pub owner Lionel has had to open the cellar doors to let some air into the
club. The club has a licence to hold 250 but Im thinking weve got over 300 in
here tonight. Weve got people ripping up paper as confetti to throw at us (later
to be named shreddies) and we play bloody excellently. By the end we are all
dripping in sweat but were thoroughly satisfied.

Were chilling out having some beers at the end of the evening and Daves
chatting with Owen the promoter sorting out the money. Voices are being raised
and I wander over to see whats happening. Owen thinks we had about 100
people in. We know this isnt anywhere near the truth. Hes a promoter after all
and having had a good night financially, hes trying to rob us of our money. In
Dave, hes picked the wrong person to rip off.
Theres big argument and now Owens girlfriend is calling us cheap, to which
Dave answers Thats rich coming from a hooker! Well, she works in a strip bar
anyway! The arguing continues. Somehow, we seem to be in possession of the
keys to the club. We know the back door is locked so we edge out the front door
and into the pub above locking the door, and Owen, behind us and enjoy another
beer. We tell Owen well let him out when he pays us our money.
Were in the pub enjoying a nice little nightcap and all we can hear is banging at
the door Help, Help, Im being held hostage in my own club shouts a furious
Owen. After we all calm down a bit and it gets sorted out, Owen hands over our
money. Its a shame its had to end this way as weve enjoyed coming to this club
for some time now and I doubt were going to be welcome back after this.

Fun with tyres

Were doing three more dates in England, playing Birmingham, Nottingham and
Northampton. In Birmingham, were playing support to Children on Stun. Weve
both sound-checked but after we finish theres a definite tension in the air. To us
it seems theyre a bit jealous of our new improved sound and things between
both bands are quite edgy for the rest of the night.
Neil, their singer has informed us that the supplied rider is only for them and no,
they wont share any with us. We buy drinks from the bar instead but we will
get our own back in due course. We play another blinding gig, watch Children
on Stun and then load up the van. The Stun are still inside the venue so we take
this opportunity to let down the tyres on their van. That will teach them not to
share the rider! Australian Steve is with us and hes just gone, a step too far and
actually ripped the valve out one of the tyres. Oops!

ie - somewhere in Germany

Russ, Me, Matt, Si, Mr B, Dave and Nash

Germany
These first few gigs have all gone really well and as a band, were all getting on
well and theres a strong bond between us. For Matt and Russ all this up and
down the motorway to play the towns of the UK is all new and fun but me and
Dave want to play further afield and we have our sights set on Europe, or more
specifically, Germany. To this end, Daves sorted out a few gigs in Germany and
one in Austria so that we can get a taste of gigging in Europe.
Thursday night (October 20th), round at Daves flat we all meet up for our first of
many European adventures. There are eight of us in total; myself, Dave, Matt and
Russ, Mr B acting as tour manager, Nashie as roadie, Claire wholl be sharing the
driving with Nashie and our mate Si. Nobody really knows what Sis role is.
I suspect hes just here for a bit of a laugh and some free beer.
Weve rented a minibus and take the midnight ferry from Dover across to Calais.
By morning we reach the German border town of Aachen in time for breakfast.
None of us speaks a work of German other than ich bin but by using the
universal language of pointing, we get by. Daves moaning though as it seems,
whatever food you try and order, everything comes with what he describes as
a slug slopped on the side of your plate! I think its a gherkin but Daves not
convinced.
We continue through Germany to Koln to meet up with a guy called Oliver from
the band Sweet William who has helped set up the first gig.
We seem to be lost. All the exits are pointing to Ausfahrt but we cant find that
town anywhere on the map. Hang on. I think Ausfahrt might be German for exit!
We eventually find Olivers house after getting pretty lost around the streets of
Koln - this was still years before any of us had even heard of a sat nav.
We follow Oliver in his car over to Sweet Williams rehearsal studios where we
have a few beers then catch a little sleep. This place is disgusting. It makes some
of the rehearsal rooms back home look posh. The toilets are all overflowing with
bodily waste and I wouldnt like to say what else is lurking in this place. It smells
like something, or someone, has died here.
The gig is ok though nothing too special and to be honest after the reactions
weve been receiving in England its a bit of a comedown. Anyway, we get paid
and sell some merchandise so that means we can eat and after another sleep at
the studios from hell, we make our way to Berlin for the second date.

Its a long journey to Berlin and were glad of the many stops we make to
break up the boredom of sitting in the van. German services seem much more
entertaining than ones in England. Everythings kind of the same but different at
the same time. Its probably just that were a gang, abroad, fuelled on Rock & Roll
and alcohol and acting like little school kids, but even the dullest things seem fun
today. Novelty hats in the shop, cuddly toy grabbing machines, Marathon bars
being called Snickers. They even sell alcohol in petrol garages! Crazy!
Our best discovery so far has been
a drink called Flying Horse. This will
become as common as Coca Cola in
a year or so in England in the form of
Red Bull but for now, its something
new to us. Flying Horse is an energy
drink, full of caffeine and Taurine,
whatever that is. Someone tells
us later its extracted from bulls
testicles. Im unsure to this day of
how true this is but it gives birth to
our phrase Knackered? Knackers!
Anyway, it certainly seems to do the
trick and soon we were drinking it by
the gallon. Its like liquid speed. Just
what a band on the road needs!

Dave and Mr B sampling Flying Horse

Despite the Flying Horse intake, Ive managed to get a few hours sleep but on
waking, I think the minibus has turned into some kind of time machine. Looking
out the window of the van, it looks like were in the 1960s. All I see is dull drab
concrete everywhere, some painted blue but mostly everything is grey. It all
looks very cold and drab out there. I realise were in, what was up until a few
years ago, East Berlin.
As we drive through the streets we all perk up a bit and Simon pulls out a few
beers we have left over from the night before. Mixing them with a few Horses
goes down very well! After some time navigating the streets of Berlin we finally
meet up with Martin, the promoter, who shows us the way to the venue.
Looking back now it seems amazing how we could arrange a gig abroad, meet a
promoter wed never seen before in the middle of a big city, all without the aid of
a mobile or sat nav!

The venues called Der Insel or The Island in English and as the name suggests
the venue is, indeed, on an island. We have a look round and its all really cool.
Martin has informed us, that they sometimes get a bit of trouble from the local
Nazis but he thinks we should be ok!
We cant get the van across the narrow bridge onto the island so we have to
transport all of our gear across using a trolley. Im so glad we brought a roadie!
Im working up a sweat just watching while I sup on my beer.
Once the gear is in, Martin shows us to our dressing room and this is the
moment we decide to pretty much give up playing in England again. For a start,
we actually have a dressing room. Its well lit and theres a table full of food.
Sandwiches, crisps, nuts, cake the lot and better still, standing next to it, a stack
of crates full of German Beer! Now this is more like it!
We set about getting stuck into that little lot and with full tummies we
sound-check. Last night, Sweet William was helping us with the sound, but
tonight its just us and the in-house sound guy. Unfortunately, he speaks very
little English and, as you know, we speak even less German. We get by ok though
using hand gestures and return to the food and drink.
Were sitting around backstage when Martin pops his head in to check that
everything is ok. Oh you only have one crate of beer left, Ill get you a few more
this continues throughout the night and were loving it!
Weve played our set but unfortunately the gig hasnt matched up to the
hospitality and although theres been loads of people around, they all seem to
be more interested in clubbing than watching the bands. Oh well, tomorrow
will be better, we say, and go back to the beer. We will return to Berlin on many
occasions after this and play some of my favorite gigs there Im pleased to say.
Unfortunately, Martin wasnt joking about the Nazis but luckily weve suffered
nothing more than a few verbals. We stay at the venue making the most of the
free beer and leave about 3am. Getting the gear back out over the bridge is
proving to be trickier than when we came in and takes twice as long nothing to
do with all that beer, honest!

Russ, Matt, Si and Me - Load out in Berlin

Matt - Checking out the venue in Worms

From Berlin, we drive straight back across Germany to the town of Worms for
our next gig. Its a long old drive and we arrive around 2pm the next afternoon all
pretty shattered. On arrival, some have passed out and sleep, whilst me, Dave,
Mr B and Si continue to indulge in the crate of beer weve stolen from last night
and more Flying Horses.
Were waiting around for Still Patient, who are headlining tonight, before sound
checks can commence. They arrive late then remember they have forgotten
something and need to go back home to get it before we can start. The soundcheck is late and rushed but were in a confident mood for this one.
The venue has just stamped us in with Access All Area stamps and were entitled
to free drinks from the bar. Now, depending on which bar you go to, you may or
may not get a deposit back on your bottle. This is good stuff, were effectively
getting paid to drink providing you take your free bottle back to the right bar!
We abuse this for the remainder of the evening and come away making a tidy
profit!
Now this is more like it. Were playing a stormer and going down really well. Its
actually quite a relief. Weve all been having a fantastic time so far, but the first
two gigs have been a bit of a disappointment, so this has lifted everyones spirits
immensely. We celebrate by getting paid to drink some more beer! We end the
night at Andy from Still Patients house where we bed down for the night.
Bleary eyed the following morning, were tucking into coffee and toast before
driving down to Austria for the final gig. This van is starting to smell. Seven blokes
on tour does not smell nice! Obvioulsy Clare, being a girl, is fine. And its quickly
turning into a bit of a tip. I will end up going in many other bands tour buss over
the years, but I dont think any of them will ever have quite the same unique
smell that ours have!
Were at the German/Austrian border (yes, they had proper borders back in
those days too) and the border staff are eyeing us with suspicion. We show
our passports and all seems fine but why have they held onto Daves Irish one?
Weve been told to pull over and wait. The border guard is on the phone. My
God, maybe they think Daves some kind of IRA terrorist? Ten minutes pass and
finally they seem happy and were waved through and on our way. I think the
free CD we gave them helped.
Wow, look out the window, were really high up, whats that smell? Were
crossing the Alps and theres a terrible smell coming from the van. Nothing new
there but this isnt bodily functions, this time its the brakes. Yikes! Theres only

one thing for it. Its time for a singsong! The whole van erupts into song Were
all going to die, were all going to die. Luckily, we make it down the other side of
the Alps despite the burnt out brakes and finally enter Austria safely.
Once in Innsbruck we meet up with Paul Cuska who is the singer from one
of tonights support band, Kiss the Blade. He tells us were lucky were late
as theres been a big Nazi rally in town today. Those pesky Nazis seem to be
following us! Our other support band are Darc Entries who are a lot of fun to be
around.
The venues really nice and were treated to a lovely pasta dinner and, once
more, a big spread of food and beer is available.

Germany / Austria 94

Tonight we play, undoubtedly, the best gig of this short tour. Were all really
on form now and a tight unit. We go down really well and for the encore of
Masquerade we get Paul up on stage to sing along with Matt.
We spend the night in a hotel room Paul has booked for us nearby. Its just one
double room but we manage to sneak all eight of us in it. As soon as were in the
room we try and throw the telly out the window its the polite Rock & Roll thing
to do - but unfortunately the window doesnt open wide enough. Damn!

Germany / Austria 94

Next day were all up early to start the very long drive back from Innsbruck to
London. We do it all in one go with many stops along the way picking up Flying
Horses and indulging in our new love of cuddly toy grabbing machines. At the
very last services in Germany we buy two crates of Take Off (another energy
drink weve discovered) to take home with us. I think the cashier thinks were a
bit mad but hey, you cant get this stuff in England!
We arrive back in London at 3am, knackered, but ultimately very pleased with
a brilliant tour. Despite two dodgy gigs, the other two have been great and the
hospitality, the friends and the great experience have made it a wonderful time.
We cant wait to get back!

Treacherous
We now have plenty of new material written so in March 95 were ready to
record a new album. Were booked into River Studios in London Bridge. Gavin
who did Through The Depths is with us once again engineering. This studio has
only recently opened and, as yet, has no heating. Were recording mostly through
the night and its bloody freezing. Day one is spent doing the drums. Theyre all
set up in the specially built drum room but Russ decides they dont sound right
so we spend another hour dismantling the kit and re-assembling it all next door
in the live room. Drums finally laid down we complete the recording process
whilst whiling away the duller moments playing Sonic the Hedgehog on the
studios Sega Megadrive.
Recording has come to a grinding
halt. During one of the rare daytime
sessions, Russs girlfriend has come
along and on the spur of the moment
decided to buy a kitten she saw in
a nearby pet shop. Playing with the
new kitten takes priority over actually
recording anything!
Were pretty much done but decide
the album needs some intro music to
lead into the first track. Russ pounds
the drums, while I bash away at heavily
distorted bass. Meanwhile Matt
and Dave are at the mic doing a mixture of Gregorian chanting, screaming and
squealing. It ends up being called Breathless.
The new album, entitled Treacherous is released on Resurrection on 12th April
95. Were pretty pleased with it and think its the best thing weve done so far.
You always think your latest work is your best, but Ill look back at this in years to
come and wish wed spent either a bit longer on it or ditched three or four of the
songs.

Germany - again
With the album out, Daves busy setting up more dates and especially busy
sorting out a return trip to Germany. Hes received a lot of help from Janis from
the band Into the Abyss and we now have about a month of dates lined up in
Germany. Weve also been asked to appear at a festival at the end of the tour
which looks mightily impressive and should prove to be the highlight.
Its very exciting. Were all round at my flat in London and we have a list of dates
in front of us. Were taking this very seriously by our standards. Normally wed
just discuss things over a few pints down the pub but this is important. Its the
first (and last) proper band meeting we ever have. Theres a lot to work out.
How are we going to get round Germany for a month? Well need to hire a
minibus. Luckily, Russs girlfriend Clare works at a company that does van signage
so she can get us a good deal through her contacts. Sorted.
Can we all get the time off work? Mostly yes, although my boss is being a
complete bitch and telling me I can have 15 days but not the 18 that I actually
need. After a fair bit of grovelling and promising that I will iron my shirt in the
mornings she finally relents and Im good to go.
How are we going to finance it? Going on tour costs money. Actually pretty much
everything about being in a band seems to cost money. Of course, we will be
getting paid along the way and hopefully selling CDs and T-Shirts, but we need
some initial funding. To pay for the hire of the minibus for a start. Our deal with
Resurrection only releases funds for recording and pressing costs and not for
gigs or tours so were going to have to come up with it ourselves. We work out
a figure, pick ourselves up off the floor and split it between us. It runs to a few
hundred quid each but somehow we all come up with it. It leaves us all pretty
broke but the plan is everyone gets paid back in instalments as the money comes
in from each gig. Right, Im glad thats all sorted. Whos in charge of making
compilation tapes?
Before heading off to Germany we play three dates in England along with Into
the Abyss. We start off at The Marquee on April 23rd then for some reason find
ourselves back in Manchester on 25th. Hardly anyone shows up once again. We
vow never to play Manchester again and this time Im glad to say we never do.

With the home dates complete, were ready to go on tour for real and a three
and a half week spell in Germany awaits us.
Wednesday 3rd May 95 and we assemble round at Daves flat. Along with myself,
Dave, Matt and Russ theres Callie, Mr B and a guy called Nick who is going to
be our driver. After loading the van and checking for the millionth time that we
havent forgotten anything, we leave and catch the midnight ferry from Dover to
Calais.
Many, many hours later, on Thursday afternoon, we arrive in Koln and meet up
with Oliver again, from the band Sweet William, who have set up the first gig for
us. Weve plenty of time to kill so head to a local park for a bit of relaxation and a
chance to stretch our van-cramped legs whilst enjoying the nice sunny weather.
Were back at the ABS Club, the venue where we played our German gig last year.
We play to an enthusiastic but small crowd. Merchandising is thankfully good so
at least we have some money and can afford to get something to eat! Well, we
could if there was anywhere around here that did food! We make do with crisps
and chocolate from a newsagents next door until we find something better on
the way back to our accommodation.

We spend the night at Olivers house. Its somewhat ramshackle. We ask where
the toilet is and he informs us that he and his flatmates usually just piss out the
window. We dont dare ask what to do if its not a piss we need! Thankfully,
for Callies sake if nothing else, we find a room that does indeed resemble a
bathroom. We bed down for the night in a room with a washing machine thats
sunken half through the broken floorboards and surrounded by old rusting bikes
and various other bits of old junk. Dont get me wrong, Olivers a lovely guy, just
perhaps, not as house-proud as some. The following morning we head down to
the supermarket and stock up on some proper food and a football as we all quite
fancy a game! We while away the early afternoon generally dossing around and
listening to Mr Bs list of gigs Ive been to, how much the beer was and what my
hair looked like stories, then leave for the next date in Waldbrol.
Where the hell are we going? We seem to have passed through a town about
15 minutes ago and now were turning off the main road and heading through
a field. Were following Oliver so I guess he must know where hes going and
now weve come to a stop at a building, which appears to be in the middle of
nowhere. We park up, pile out and check it out.
Cool! Inside we find a really nice venue. Good stage, lights, PA and the beer is
free and plentiful which we take full advantage of while Sweet William do their
sound check. We decide to get the football out and have a quick game. Its quick
because we all soon realise how unfit we are.
We tuck into our provided hot meal then hang around and wait for the doors
to open. We cant help but feel that this may be a bit of a disaster. We just cant
figure out how, or if, anyone is going to come here.
I dont know what we were so worried about. Its been fantastic! Weve had a
good crowd, played a blinder and gone down really well. Weve made a killing on
merchandise and now, sitting upstairs in the backstage (above stage?) area weve
all got writers cramp after the amount of autographs weve signed.
Were staying here at the venue tonight as they have accommodation so we stay
up late drinking and hanging out with various people. The free beer flows all
night and we stay up until about 6am. Russ becomes the first casualty and after
a few too many, chucks up and decides to crawl to bed. Matts spilling his heart
out to Callie about how hes missing his girlfriend Tracey, then at one point Dave
asks our host if theres any chance of a bottle of Jack Daniels. She disappears
downstairs to the bar but when she returns some time later, she has a sorry look
on her face. She apologises profusely as they have no Jack but asks if this bottle
of champagne will do. We make do but point out that its totally unacceptable!

We manage to get a few hours sleep at the venue before were woken by Nick
telling us to get up as we need to get ready to leave for Koblenz.
The venue has provided us with a cooked breakfast before we leave which is very
welcomed and wolfed down by us all. We then load up the van. Still somewhat
drunk/hung-over we leave around midday but not before Dave takes the
opportunity of challenging Mr B to a race up a very steep hill. Mr B makes it to
the top. Dave falls over and cuts his hands to pieces! Never mind. Its not like he
needs his hands. Oh, hang on. Yes, hes the guitarist isnt he?
Its baking hot today, like it has been since we got here, but combined with our
hangovers and physical activity were all done in. We make several stops for ice
creams on our way and also a stop at a music shop to get guitar strings. When
we arrive no one else is at the venue yet so we crash out in the afternoon sun
waiting for Into the Abyss, who were playing with tonight.
They arrive after an hour or so and we take a look around the venue. Hmm,
good size, check. Nice stage, check. PA? Err, no PA. Lights? Err well, no, not really.
Thankfully Into the Abyss have brought their own PA but, for lighting, our driver
Nick takes a walk around town, stealing candles from the local restaurants.
Its not a great gig it has to be said. We play fine and were fed and getting free
beer, but theres hardly anyone here. Thirty at a push and one old guy dancing
round with a load of dummies round his neck. Oh, and were all too scared to
move in case we knock over one of the candles and set the place on fire!
Its time for a few days break. Were spending some days off in Darmstadt with
the guys from Into the Abyss. We kill time over the next few days playing footy,
cards and going to the local bar. We learn a useful trick here. Theyre marking the
amount of beers you have on the side of you beer mat and you settle your bill
at various points in the evening. We keep swapping ours with Matt, whose only
drinking coke!
Right. Weve had a couple of days off, time to get back on the road again. The
next gig is in Wiesbaden, about three hours from Darmstadt. The venue is, to say
the least, tiny. Its so small in fact, that Russ cant even fit his drums on stage so
he and Jens (the drummer from Into the Abyss) are sharing a kit. Once open, the
venue soon fills up. It doesnt take much. We play a fast and furious 45-minute
set and weve gone down brilliantly. Into the Abyss are headlining tonight and
go down well too. Theyre ending their set with a cover of The Cults Rain
and invite Matt up on stage to sing with them. But whats this? Oh dear. Daves

Koln and Waldbrol - Germany 95

decided to get on stage. Oh God! Dave thinks he knows the words so grabs the
mic from Matt. He clearly doesnt know the words. More worrying is he clearly
cant sing! Giving up vocal duties, he makes his way to the drum stool where he
takes over from Jens on the sticks. Im pulled up on stage next and grab my bass
and this impromptu new band bashes out a very ragged version of I Wanna be
Your Dog. Dave gives up on the drumming and hoists me up on his shoulders
whilst Im still playing my bass.

Suffice to say weve all had our fill beer. Mind you, on this front things were a
little worrying to start with. Most venues we play on this tour are liberally giving
us free beer. There are a few exceptions though like this place, where they give
us a fixed amount of tokens to exchange for drinks at the bar. Once these tokens
are used up, were supposed to start paying. But we use all ours up before we
even play! The barman tonight is some American dude and he seems to like us.
After handing over a few tokens he says, Forget about them I cant be bothered,
just have what you want. Phew!
Weve had a top night and now, heading back to Darmstadt, Daves still acting
the fool. Hes found a canvas shopping bag in the van and stuck it over his head
with his sunglasses on over the top. Every time we pull level with another car on
the autobahn he makes it look like hes the driver (as its an English van hes in,
what in Germany, would be the drivers side) He pulls his hands away from the
imaginary steering wheel, sticks his head out the window and shouts Ich Fucking
Bin!. Hes crazy!

Cracks
Next day and cracks are beginning to show. We seem to be splitting into two
camps. On one side, theres me, Dave, Callie and Mr B then on the other, theres
Matt and Russ. Nicks not getting involved. Weve been away now about a week
and theres been the odd niggle and a few disagreements but now Matt and
Russ are moaning they have no money and think they should be getting paid
more each day than they are. I dont really understand what their logic is behind
this. We all knew the way the finances would go before we left. Now theyre
whispering, I hear them say they think Daves pocketing a lot of the money
himself. I know this isnt true.
Were travelling to our next date in Wurzburg. Its a long drive and its still baking
hot. The van is, once more, starting to smell and become a rubbish tip! I may well
be heading the same way.
The venue ticks all the boxes and were taken up to a restaurant on top of a
large hill where were fed by our hosts. Niggles and arguments set aside for now
were having a good time until we return to the venue to find that theres only
about 25 people. Never mind, our friends Berndt and Claudia from Nurnberg
have made the effort and they come with vodka and a big bag of confetti. We
play on regardless. It hasnt been the best gig and it hasnt helped the inter-band
squabbling as weve hardly sold anything either, which means less money to go
round.

the bar?
Youre leaving us the keys to
We have a big, long, boring eight-hour journey today to Hamburg to play the
closing night of the Zillo Club. Zillo has been a legendary club in Hamburg from
the 80s and lots of famous (and like us, not so famous) bands have played there.
Were looking forward to this one so hopefully the long journey is going to be
worth it. Were on the autobahn following Into the Abyss who are playing with us
again, when all of a sudden theres a big cloud of black smoke surrounding us. Its
coming from their van. We pull over to the hard shoulder. It turns out that Russ
is a bit of petrol head and knows a thing or two about engines. He soon identifies
the problem, and fixes it. I have no idea what it is but were glad were on the
move again.
Tonight along with us and Into the Abyss, were playing with another band,
Shock Therapy, who are headlining the show. When we arrive were told that
they are running late so we get our sound check out the way first. Its all going

well. Its a good venue with decent equipment but then suddenly the soundman
cuts the sound and tells us we have to stop as the neighbours are complaining.
To keep the peace between the venue and its neighbours we arent allowed to
make any more noise for half an hour. Finally we resume our sound check just as
Shock Therapy turn up. Shock Therapy are American and come across as rather
arrogant. They seem to have taken an instant dislike to us. Theyre all wrecked
off their faces too. I think they may have been late due to too much indulgence
down on Hamburgs famous Reeperbahn. During their set later on tonight, their
lead singer will fall from the stage (which is quite a high one) and crack his head
open.
We tuck into the laid on food and drink some beer as we wait to play. Tonight
Russs girlfriend, Clare, arrives. Shes a breath of fresh air as we could do with
someone new in our gang. Clare is a very switched on girl. Reliable, sensible,
but not so much so that she doesnt know how to enjoy herself. Soon we will
be calling her mum as she becomes better and better at looking after us and
getting us to the right place at the right time. Clare is also a welcome sight for
Nick as shes here to help with the driving. And she comes armed with a video
camera. Sadly, I never get to see the footage she shoots over the coming weeks
as we loose contact with her after the tour.
Anyway, back to the matter in hand. We take to the stage and its a big crowd
tonight so were determined to have a good gig. The sound check went well so
we know our stage sound is good. Its just up to us now to deliver the goods.
Russ thumps out the intro of our opening
song but as soon as I hit my first note, I
can tell somethings not quite right. I give
Dave a puzzled look and Matt too. The
sound coming from our on stage monitors
is so heavily distorted we can hardly make
anything out. I move closer back to my on
stage amp to see if I can hear that better,
but its no use. I cant hear Dave at all, he
cant hear me and its all a bit of a mess.
It improves as the gig goes on thanks to
frantic shouts to Nick whos relaying our
comments back to the sound guy but we
come off stage disappointed. We seem
to have gone down well though and the
general consensus is that it sounded ok
out the front. Ive heard this so many

times. I think its a line people say to make you feel better when they know
youve had a bad gig.
Were back in the dressing room and were all pissed off. Dave especially. Hes
convinced that Shock Therapy deliberately messed with our monitor settings. We
get confirmation of this later when the sound guy comes in the dressing room,
apologises, and confirms that pretty much every fader, knob and button on the
mixing desk had been changed between our sound check and when we went on.
Theres nothing we can do about it now though other than chill out, have some
beers and witness Shock Therapys singer fall from the stage.
Shock Therapy decide not to hang around much afterwards and the mood
immediately lifts. A bit of a party has started to get going and we are all getting
horrendously drunk.
Were staying in the venue tonight and when I say in the venue, I literally mean,
in the venue. There are no beds or proper accommodation but the venue has
said we can sleep on the stage! We knew this before we came and have come
prepared for this with sleeping bags.
The club is now emptying out and by 4am the bar staff leave and hand us the
keys to the venue. Im not sure if they are aware of this but they have also left
us the keys to the bar, and the DJ booth! By now, Im passed out in the middle of
the dance floor in my sleeping bag with a pillow under my head, but the party
continues well into the morning with Dave and Callie alternating between DJ
and lights. Nicks checking out the four star brandy and unfortunately I miss Janis
from Into the Abyss dancing around, Greek Style, in his underpants.

Trabants
Next morning were all nursing our hangovers, back in the bus and heading to
the town of Meiningen. Its situated just inside what was, until recently, East
Germany. Despite the reunification its looks like money from the West has yet to
get this far. As soon as were across what was the old border everything suddenly
changes. The landscape looks different somehow and every building seems in
need of repair. Then we see it. Our first sight of that classic East German car, the
Trabant. Theres something fascinatingly beautiful about them and we see more
and more of them chugging along as we approach Meiningen.

From the outside the venue looks like another run down farmhouse but when we
step inside we find a really cool venue, all black with ripped up fishnets hanging
from the ceilings and skulls everywhere. Theres even a bloody coffin in the
middle of the floor. It looks like this could be pretty good.
Along with Into the Abyss, Darc Entries are also supporting us tonight and its
good to meet up with them again after meeting them briefly on our tour last
year. Once again, our friends Bernd and Claudia have turned up with confetti,
vodka and, this time, even a chocolate cake! The evenings gig is fantastic and the
highlight of the tour so far. Weve played really well to loads of people who were
all really enthusiastic. We get two encores, finishing with a combined version
of our songs Masquerade and Solitude. We leave the stage to the sound of the
crowd singing Come on you boys in black, Come on you boys in black! They
want more, and were ready to give them more, but bloody hell, the sound-crew
have already started taking the mics down! They must be in a hurry to get home.
After the drunken excess of the previous evening most of our entourage have
gone to bed. Me and Dave are the only ones left standing from our lot along with
the Darc Entries boys and Jens the drummer from Into the Abyss. Between us we
finish off our riders and all were left with is some cheap wine which neither Dave
nor I really like so we decide to make cocktails out of it using whatever we can
find in the kitchen. White wine with a glug of tabasco and lemon anyone?
Mmmm. Nice.

Matt, Russ, Me and Dave - Enjoying a beer backstage in Meiningen

Were hung-over yet again. What the hell is that noise? Callies found a tuba
tucked away in a cupboard in the venue. She claims she used to play in a brass
band when she was a young girl. Really? Shes either very out of practice or that
tuba needs tuning. Can you tune a tuba? I have no idea, but I do know that if she
doesnt stop soon its going to end up shoved in an unfortunate place!
The venue has provided us with an amazing spread for breakfast and now that
awful noise from the tuba has stopped, Im starting to feel human again. Today
were off to a place called Zoblitz. Not far from Dresden and right by the Czech
border.
We are, by now, all getting somewhat sick to death of this bloody minibus and
the endless travelling. Weve listened to every tape (yes, tape no CD players in
vans in those days) we have about a million times over and everyones bored.
But the boredom lifts as Dave invents a new game. Trabant spotting! Such is our
fascination with the lowly Trabbi were all on the lookout for them. With western
influences pouring into what was the old East, Trabbi owners have started doing
all manner of customisations to their beloved cars.
Daves awarding points for each successful Trabbi spot. Theres one point for your
standard green, blue or beige number but extra points for things like roof racks,
spotlights and coloured windscreen wipers. Even more points if you spot a snazzy
coloured one. Oh yes, ten points to Russ for that funky fuchsia pink one but oh
no, Im in the sin bin for a false spot! That pesky Lada looked like a Trabbi for a
moment back there. Damn!
Matt finally comes out on top with a winning spot of a green one, in a field, with
tinted windows and a roof rack! 10 points that man!
Sweet William have booked this gig for us and they warned us that we might be
slightly dubious when we get there. Theyre not wrong. Zoblitz is a tiny town in
the middle of a forest with one road, two houses and a bar/club/place for people
to doss down in. This is the venue. But after our encounters at Waldbrol with
Sweet William earlier on this tour we know it will be ok and indeed, it is.
The stage is a little small but the PA and size of the venue are excellent. Once
again, food and beer is free and by 8pm the venues jam-packed. We play
another great gig and really enjoy ourselves. The stage is way too small for us all
so me and Dave rectify this by jumping down into the crowd and play amongst
the audience for the encore.
More drinking and autographs then finally bed, at around 4am.

The following morning Im happily sleeping upstairs in the venues

accommodation when Matt bursts in through the door, out of breath but full of
excitement.
Daves got us a ride in a Trabant you coming?
uh?
Matt disappears again and as I slowly wake up I realise what hes just said to me
but Im too tired to move. I roll over and go back to sleep.
By the time I get up and down for breakfast Dave, Matt and Russ are gone. The
morning is still, sunny and quiet. Then the stillness is interrupted by the sound
of a siren as the polizei whizz pass. Thinking nothing much of it I return to my
breakfast along with Callie and Clare.
A while later Dave, Matt and Russ return. Daves not in a good way, hes clutching
his nuts and can hardly walk. Theyre all laughing though so things cant be that
bad. Between tears of laughter the story unfolds:
Dave was up all night drinking with a few of the locals. The conversation turned
to Trabants when one guy said he had one. Dave then persuaded him to go and
get it and take us for a spin. The guy dutifully got his car for the crazy Rock & Roll
stars and off they went with Dave leaning out the window shouting ich fucking
bin. After a bit of a drive around the owner tried to show them what the Trabbi
could really do. They came to sharp turn, which the driver took a little too fast.
They went up in the air, landed in a ditch, proceeded to come flying out the other
side, and landed on a brand spanking new BMW! Now this is a small town where
everyone knows each other so the driver of the BMW turned out to be the boss
of the Trabant driver! Not only that, the policeman, who turned up on the scene
was the guys mate!
Despite all the laughter, were feeling kind of sorry for the poor guy who is now in
trouble not only with his boss but also the cops. But, hes laughing about it too.
His only concern is that hes just wrecked his beloved Trabant.
Dave seems to of come off worse from the whole thing. His nuts have been
smashed up somewhere towards his adams apple! In fact, he cant really walk
properly. We help him upstairs to have a lie down while the rest of us pack up the
van.
After a lie down, Daves feeling fine but we do have to help him back down the
stairs with the aid of a broom as a makeshift crutch!

Germany - May 95

More gigs
Today were heading back to Darmstadt for a few days rest before the next gigs.
As were leaving we follow Sweet Williams van and both pull into a garage to get
diesel. Sweet William have a slight issue with their van so they get their toolbox
out the back and do some running repairs.
All sorted and were off again driving through small villages and now up a very
steep hill and it becomes apparent that Sweet William have not only forgotten
their toolbox which we picked up for them, but they havent shut their back
doors properly. Their doors are flapping open as we take the incline and now
various pieces of gear are falling out the back! We keep stopping to pick up
random bags and oh look, heres a guitar. Were furiously beeping them and
flashing the lights but they remain blissfully unaware. The local villagers are now
also trying to make them aware, waving arms at them to stop. Finally, weve
caught up with them and hand back all the pieces weve collected along the way.
Turns out, they thought the locals were just being friendly and were busy waving
back at them!
After a few days break, where were joined by Daves girlfriend Yaz, we travel
to Dusseldorf. Were a bit down as weve just discovered that Thursdays gig in
Aachen has been cancelled at the last minute. The club were playing in tonight,
The Dschungel, is tiny. Looks like well be lucky to get even 100 people in here.
Somehow though we get about 120 in and the place is packed, sweaty and
extremely hot. We play really well again and our spirits are lifted afterwards
when the promoter offers us a second night. So, next day we go through it all
again albeit to a much smaller crowd.
After a night spent on living room floors we head off in the early hours destination Berlin. Were playing Factory Slaughterhouse and yes, by the look
of the place it did indeed used to be a slaughterhouse. Its 2am before we take
to the stage but it goes well and theres a bit of a party atmosphere. Its Yazs
birthday tonight so we get a load of balloons (we couldnt find a florist) and me,
Dave and Matt jump down into the crowd again to play the encore. Poor Russ, he
doesnt really have that option being the drummer!

Whorehouse
We have a mammoth journey ahead of us, right back to the West of Germany to
a town called Miesau near Kaiserslautern so we have to leave straight after the
gig.
This is another place in the middle of nowhere but, despite our good encounters
with this kind of thing previously, this place feels strange. I cant really explain
why, we all just have a gut feeling that this one is going to be odd. So odd, in
fact, weve spent about an hour outside debating whether or not we should
even bother playing. Its really hard to explain but this really doesnt feel right.
The promoter turns up and I think he can see our concerned faces. Cunningly
he leads us inside, through the main bar and downstairs to the venue where
he shows us to the free beer. Ok, were persuaded. Well do it. The venues a
good size but it all looks like its never been used before. Were thinking this is
some kind of front for a drug money laundering scheme! The owner of the club
reckons that well have 200 people in here at least but hes not convincing us.
The promoter tells us hes just off to get some pizzas for us and shows us to a
door leading upstairs which he says we can use as a dressing room.
Upstairs we find another bar and several rooms. Each room has a bed in it. Some
have rubber walls and, oh look, this one has a nice big mirror on the ceiling. It
dawns on us. Were playing in a whorehouse!
As expected by 9pm only two people have paid in. We play regardless as do
Into the Abyss who are with us. Its been a disaster and we cant wait to get out.
We pack our gear away then start to take it back out to the van. We have to go
through the main bar of the venue to do this where we find our 200 people.
All squaddies from the nearby US airbase. A load of drunken squaddies plus 20
Goths doesnt make a pleasant atmosphere. Its only a matter of time before one
of them notices. We almost get away with it but just as were taking the last of
the gear to the van, we hear Oi! Fawkin Goths were going to have you! We
get to the van just in time to make a speedy exit.

Clare takes a well earned rest

Time for a rest

This is crap. We now have three days off and weve hardly any money left. Were
staying in Darmstadt with the guys from Into the Abyss. Me, Callie and Matt
are at bass player Kostass house. Hes a fantastic host. He gets up early every
morning to go and get fresh bread rolls for us. By the time we wake theres a
great spread on the table for breakfast and endless coffee on the go. Im not sure
his girlfriend is too impressed though but she doesnt speak any English so its
hard to tell.
Were killing time playing football down the park and I think weve had more
injuries than goals. We are all rather unfit. Back at Kostass house Matts just told
me hes having a really crap time and hes thinking of leaving the band. What?

Dusseldorf and playing football

Are you serious? Im incredulous as I think this whole tour experience is brilliant.
Ok, weve had some downs but I think the highs have more than made up for
them.
Matts deadly serious but is afraid of what Dave will say (or do) when he tells
him. He decides to keep it to himself until the tours over. Later that night
though, were at the pub without Matt when Dave mentions something about
doing a new album and starts talking about things for the future. Im biting my lip
but its obvious to Dave I know something and in the end he gets it out of me.
Daves gone mental! We go back to Kostas flat and Dave has Matt up against the
wall screaming and shouting at him. We finally manage to calm everyone down
and sleep on it.

Bochum
Were trying to put last nights row with Matt behind us and hes trying to do the
same and move on. We travel up to Bochum for the penultimate gig of the tour
at the Zwishenfall Club. We have arrived a bit late due to traffic but a fabulous
roast dinner awaits us, which we scoff in between sound checking.
The gig goes really well, despite struggling with atrocious on stage sound.
Were loving it and could play all night but, once again, the local neighbours are
complaining to the club and threatening to call the police if we dont obey the
local noise regulations. Were told we can only do one more song, so we merge
three songs into one and then retire to the dressing room.
Tonight is our last night with the boys from Into the Abyss so its a bit of a party.
Weve had such a good time with them and have become firm friends. Their
hospitality and help organising the gigs has been fantastic.
By chucking out time, were all truly wasted but load the van and head off back
East to what will become the highlight of this tour - playing at the Indie Tours
Festival in Freyburg.

Bochum - our last night with Into the Abyss

Indie Tours Festival

Its been a long, long, drive but thankfully weve all slept most of it. its 10am
when Im woken by the van violently shaking and rattling as we drive down small
cobbled streets as we arrive in the town of Freyburg, right by the Polish border.
It all seems a hive of activity. We park up and go to find out where were playing
and, more importantly, where the beer and catering tents are! Were playing
on Stage Two apparently but no one seems to know where it is! Finally, we find
a guy who seems to know about it. He issues us our wristbands and informs us
they are still setting up the stage and waiting for the PA to arrive but we should
be ready to sound check around midday.
Hooray! Weve found the catering tent. Its all gloriously free. Just flash your
wristband and have whatever you want. Its still fairly early so were tucking into
coffee and croissants. Nick disappears to see if he can find the elusive Stage Two.
After a while he returns having found it and we all troupe off to take a look.
Wow! How cool is this? Stage Two is actually an amphitheatre cut into the hills. It
looks amazing and its pretty big too. This should be awesome.
Are you one of the bands playing? asks a stagehand. We inform him we are
and he says seeing as were all here we may as well sound check now. Its all a
bit blas and were beginning to realise nobody is really too sure of whats going
on here but were all good to go so we do our sound check. All is well. Lets just
hope some people turn up!
Its all very exciting this. Its the first proper festival weve played. The grounds
are massive so it should be awesome come show time. Weve also put behind
us the bad vibes from a few days ago and all is well. Its perfect weather too.
Scorching hot. Talking of which, Im parched. Wheres that beer tent?
It hasnt taken us long. Weve sniffed out the beer tent and the first one is going
down lovely. To keep our costs down, and also because we thought it might be
fun, we made the decision before leaving home that we would camp here and
really get into the festival atmosphere rather than stay in the hotel. Weve all
brought tents and sleeping bags along with us and weve just hatched a cunning
plan.

Theres a load of our mates over for the festival and they are all camping too.
Were in the beer tent, but they cant get into the festival ground yet as it hasnt
opened to the public. Were chatting with them across the fence that divides us
and they are envious of our chilled golden refreshments. We strike a deal. You
put our tents up for us and well get you some free beers from the beer tent.
Sorted.
The paying public have had to patiently wait for the other acts to finish sound
checking on the main stage before the festival site opens but despite the chaos
that surrounded the morning and early afternoon things have started to come
together with the first acts on both stages playing vaguely on time.
Were having such a great time, relaxing, drinking beer, catching up with people
and watching bands here and there. Its easy to forget the real reason that were
actually here. Oh yes, were meant to be playing.
What time are we on?
10.30
What time is it now?
9.30
Shit. I better sober up, lets get some coffee
Sufficiently sobered up, 10.30 arrives and the amphitheatre is packed out with
people. In-fact, its packed to capacity, so much so that many more have to find
room around the surrounding grassy banks.
We play what is, undoubtedly, the best gig of the tour. Weve had a great time on
stage and the crowd have had a great time watching. We finish to cries of encore,
which we do and then they want even more. Were in the tiny backstage area
and the noise is deafening, weve never experienced anything quite like this, its
totally mad but brilliant. We want to go back on and play one more but the tight
schedule will not allow for it which is a shame. But the gig has been a great way
to end a brilliant tour.
We spend the night under canvas but the good thing is that, come morning,
we dont need to bother trying to boil a kettle on a little camping stove. No, we
can just pop back into the festival site and get a big breakfast and coffee in the
hospitality tent. Much better.
Oh no, disaster has struck! Weve just been informed that the beer tent has
stopped giving free beer to band members. We will now have to start paying!

any

Matt and me - Indie Tours Festival, Germ

Indie Tours Festival

Disaster! Other rumours are starting to filter through as well. It seems that some
bands are not getting paid. Thankfully, we got our money as soon as we finished
last night. The PA company are threatening to pack up as well as they have heard
rumours that money is running out.
But the festival continues and we enjoy watching Altered States, Rosetta Stone
and then, to finish the evening, The Mission.
Its our final day and in true festival style we wake up to find it pissing with rain.
This is why hotels are better than camping. The rumours have turned to fact and
the PA company have pulled from Stage Two and many bands have not been
paid. Theres a couple of other English bands here due to play today including
Children on Stun and Inkubus Sukubus but with Stage Two now out of action
theyre cobbling something together to play in the beer tent. Im just glad we
played on the first day and got our money. With the rain comes the mud and we
pack our stuff away and load the van. Its not pleasant and now we have to spend
the next 18 hours in the back of the van, caked in mud, on the long drive back to
London.
For me its been a great tour and Ive had a wonderful time and met some great
people. There have been a few rows though, which I guess is to be expected
when youre living in each others pockets every day. The rows have mainly been
with Russ and Matt. Things with Matt have now been sorted but Russ is being a
serious pain in the arse. Hes done a tour of Germany, played some great shows
and now thinks hes the big rock star.
We get back to London next day and after taking my stuff up to my flat, Russs
last words to me are Give me a call when EMI ring. Well, EMI never do ring so I
never see or speak with him again.

ay?
Who needs a drummer anyw
A few weeks later, me Dave and Matt meet up round at Daves flat for a chat
about where to go next. There are a few things on the horizon but top of the
agenda is Russ. After a long chat, we decide to sack him from the band and
revert back to using a drum machine. Hes become too self-obsessed and we feel
theres no longer any room for him and his ego in the band.

Nekromantic
Now back as a three piece we take a well-earned break from doing anything for
a few months. That is, except Dave. Along with Mr B hes organising a two-day
festival to be held in London at the Marquee. Its to be called Nekromantic and
will have 12 bands playing including ourselves.
I thought I was meant to be having a break! Things seem busier than ever.
Ive got involved, along with Dave and Mr B, getting everything sorted for
Nekromantic. There are flyers to be done and distributed, accommodation to
sort out, equipment to hire and weve come up with a great new T-shirt slogan Drunk, Stupid and Goth. I think it fits rather well!
Callie and I have just started a small fanzine to coincide with Nekromantic. As
part of it Im writing up all about the German tour weve just done. Then theres
also the small matter of purchasing and programming a new drum machine to
replace Russ.
Saturday 11th August and were off to The Marquee for two days of fun. Im
already sweating like a pig after a twenty-minute tube journey and me and Callie
have been accosted by some American tourists who want to take photos of us.
Its turned out to be the hottest day of the year so far. All is calm on arrival. Dave
and Mr B have the whole thing well under control. We hang around for a bit
then retire to The George pub for a few welcome pints before heading back to
enjoy the bands. Theres a massive long queue outside the club stretching along
Charing Cross Road. Its nice to see so many people have come along after all the
hard work thats gone into it.
The heat is taking its toll though. In between each band, the whole venue has to
pretty much empty out onto the street, so people can get out and get some fresh
air. Ruth, keyboard player with Die Laughing, has just fainted. Shes ok after some
water, but its a warning that you that really must keep yourself hydrated in these
hot conditions. Right, lets get a beer then!

Next day and we do it all over again, only this time, were playing. We get there
early to sound check then its the familiar, pub, bands, backstage, beer, bands,
pub etc. until 10 when we take to the stage.
Wow! I dont think Ive ever seen The Marquee this full. Its great to play to such
a large crowd in London. I cant really put my finger on it though, but compared
to our recent German dates our performance all seems a bit flat. Perhaps its not
having Russ there?
On the whole though, the event has been an overwhelming success. We have
the French band Corpus Delecti staying with us at our flat tonight so we need
to get two cabs back. One of the cab drivers is being a pain wanting double the
cost, as he has to take so much equipment. We tell him, not to bother and well
get another cab driver instead. Faced with losing business he relents but once
back at my flat he kicks off again about wanting more money. We get inside but
he starts hammering at my door demanding money. We ignore him until he goes
away. Which is actually quite a long time. Im not sure what our new French
friends make of it all!

Nekromantic Festival

We follow Nekromantic with three dates playing with Nosferatu as part of their
UK tour. We play in Leeds, Glasgow and Nottingham. In Leeds were given strict
instruction by Nosferatu not to offer their singer Mark any alcohol as they dont
want him pissed on stage.
Hi Mark, fancy a beer?
Yeah, dont mind if I do
Want another...
Needless to say, weve got him roaring drunk and hes ended up crawling around
the stage! The other members of Nosferatu are not too pleased. Glasgow and
Nottingham pass without incident and now its time to start thinking about a new
album.

Transition - take one

Now that were back to using a drum machine we can write at our own leisure
round at each others flats. Its all going really well. Me and Dave are writing
some of our best songs to date. Matts not around much leaving it to me and
Dave but when we get a few songs finished we run him off a cassette so he can
prepare his lyrics to them.
A month later, we have a load of new songs and were all round at my flat
deciding which songs to do for the album. Matt sings along to some tracks and
we make some rough demos before recording and its all sounding good.
Were all very excited about recording again and book ourselves into River
Studios during October.
Here we are again. Back in the studios. We havent got off to the best start
though. Me and Matt have had a bit of a disagreement. Hes been talking about
getting Rachel, from Die Laughing, to do some backing vocals on a track which
Im fine with, but now he wants her to do vocals on about four or five songs. This
Im not alright with. I think its fine for one track, but whats the point of putting
her vocals on over half the album? Shes not in the band. I stand my ground and
begrudgingly Matt backs down. I foolishly think he really is ok with this but later
find out hes not really at all and hes pissed off. Apparently he thinks his input is
not valid. I think his input is valid and I always listen to any suggestions. But when
someones being a tit they need to be told. Right?

We have a new engineer this time, called Brad. Hes a right character. Quite
young and a bit of an Essex wide boy. Think of a young Jamie Oliver behind the
mixing desk. Its all bish bosh bash. Job done. Sorted. Geezer.
He knows nothing much about our kind of music just as we know nothing about
his kind, which is all dance stuff. But its all working really well. Brad is really
getting the best out of us and the drums, bass and guitars have all gone down
well over a couple of weekends.
The album is sounding excellent and we now have a couple of days booked for
Matt to put his vocals down. Due to the month off for Germany earlier in the
year I cant get any more time off work so Im stuck at work while Dave, Matt
and Mr B go down to the studio. I cant concentrate at work though. Im too busy
wondering whats happening and how its all going.
Eventually Im out of work and heading down to London Bridge to the Studio. Im
so excited to hear how its all coming together and I cant wait to get there. Im
almost running now. Finally, Im here. Ready to hear how this new album of ours
is sounding. I walk in.
Hi Dave, Hi Mr B
Matts in the control room with Brad.
Dave - Hes ruining our bloody album!
What?
Dave You wait til you hear what hes singing
Im confused. Whats Dave going on about?
Dave explains that Matts re-written most of the lyrics he did on the demos.
Basically, every song is about either me, Dave, our girlfriends or how he hated his
time in Germany with us. Its not subtle either.
Ive still yet to hear anything when Matt appears and Dave launches into an
argument with him, which seems to have been going on most of the day. Im a bit
stunned as Ive not been around so I dont really know whats happening. Now
Matts stormed off. Im going for a walk to clear my head he says Ill be back in
half an hour or so.
With Matt gone, Brad plays back the vocals Matts done. Daves right. Hes singing
about how he hates us all and what a crap time he had in Germany. It doesnt
even sound like Matt that much. Hes not putting any enthusiasm into his vocals.

I dont believe it. Why has he done that? I thought wed put all our issues behind
us and moved on. Obviously Matt hasnt but how can he expect what hes singing
about to sit well with me or Dave? He may as well call the album I had a crap
time in Germany and I hate Mark, Dave and their girlfriends. An hour or so has
passed and it looks like Matts not coming back. Were left with little choice but
to gather up our stuff and leave for home.
We wont see Matt again for another six months by which time hell be in a new
band Complicity.
So, what now? Were depressed and pissed off. We get back home and speak to
Andy at Resurrection about the whole thing. Andys as surprised as we are by all
this and offers to act as mediator but we end up in a stalemate.
Matt wont finish the album unless he can use his new re-written lyrics and
neither, me or Dave will let the album be finished unless he changes his lyrics.
This is so crap. Me and Dave have put so much hard work into the writing of the
songs and now Matt has self-terminated his position within the band. We have a
whole album recorded musically but without a singer to finish it. Not for the first
time we decide to look for a new singer.

New singer #4
Weve placed an ad in the music press. The phone rings.
Hello, is that Mark?
Yes
Hi, I saw your advert in the melody maker for a singer with a Goth band
Err yeah
Well, my names Timothy Potter and Im very interested
Ok, what have you done before?
Well, I know all the Elvis stuff and I do a lot of Tom Jones. Ive done lots of work
on the P & O ferry circuit you see. Now, tell me about this Gothic rock stuff
Hello? Hello? Mark. Are you still there?
Is this a wind up?
Yes
Right
Actually Im calling from Capital Radio and youre live on the air

Prank phone calls from radio stations aside weve had a few responses but
nothing very promising. Then I receive a call from a guy called Umray. He sounds
enthusiastic and at least knows what kind of music were doing. Weve arranged
to meet in a few days time.
So, were in the pub on Shepherds Bush Green. Me, Dave, Mr B and now this
guy Umray. He seems alright. He also says he plays acoustic guitar, which we
think could fit in quite well. We give him a tape of our, as yet unfinished, album
and ask him to see if he can get some lyrics for a few tracks and then arrange a
rehearsal with him in a weeks time.
Oh dear, this isnt so good! Umray has turned up and we ask him if he has come
up with any ideas Oh yes, he says. We play through a couple of songs and he
basically just hums along to the bass lines. He also seems to be quite insistent
about putting in a spot of whistling. We take a break and he produces a cassette
of stuff he thinks we may like to consider as a new direction. Its basically bad,
middle of the road, rock. We continue to play our own songs. Umray hums along.
We say goodbye.
The next day Im on the phone to him to say its over.
Things are becoming frustrating. Even if Umray had turned out Ok, Im feeling
that I wouldnt really trust anyone else to come in. I just know it would be over
again in another six months.

g ...
If you want something doin
Im a strong believer in the old saying, if you want something doing, do it
yourself.
Im home from work and Callies out. Phew. Im a bit nervous about this. Im sure
I can do it though. I mean, I sing along in the car to stuff and I reckon I sound ok.
Ive hastily written some lyrics of my own to a couple of our songs. I get out my
four-track recorder and plug in my newly purchased microphone. Its a lovely red
colour and cost me 15 in Tandy. Im singing. It sounds ok. It really does. Callie
will be back soon. I hide away the mic and lyrics until the weekend. I know shell
be out all day Saturday as shes doing a weekend shift. Im so unsure about doing
this Im not telling anyone yet.
The following weekend. I get the microphone out again. I think Im doing ok. My
God, this could be the answer weve been looking for.

Another drink?
Were in the pub. Me and Callie and Im trying to get her (and me) a bit pissed.
Im in need of some Dutch courage. Back at the flat, I nonchalantly tell her Ive
something to play to her. I slip my demo cassette into the player. The music starts
and Callies wondering why Im playing her our unfinished album. Shit. Other side
of the tape. Rewind. Ok. Start again. Shes still puzzled for a few seconds but then
a voice comes in. I look at her face to gauge a reaction. I can tell straight away
she knows its me and then a big smile crosses her face. She thinks its good.
Phew!
A few days later, Daves over at the flat. Hes staying with us temporarily as hes
between houses. He asks me if weve had any more replies from our advert. As
it happens, yes. Ive received a tape from someone I say and I play it to him
and go through the same agonising wait I did the other day with Callie. Dave
looks puzzled as it starts to play. Who is it? he asks. Someone you know I say.
He ponders a while longer before saying Is it you?.
Dave makes me play the tape on repeat about 100 times over. He cant stop
laughing. Hes not laughing at me but at the situation. To quote Dave All this
time weve been together with crap singers letting us down and all this time you
can sing. You bastard! Hes joking of course, well, mostly.
So this is it then, I appear to be the new singer of Vendemmian. Theres no way I
can sing and play the bass at the same time so we decide we can add the bass to
the backing track along with the drums. Within the space of five months, weve
gone from a four-piece to a two-piece.
A week has passed and were still getting used to this new version of the band
but were not wasting any time. Theres been quite a few rumours flying around
lately saying that weve split up so were down at The Borderline in London at a
Children on Stun gig handing out flyers for our new album Transition. Ok, so we
havent even finished it yet. I havent even written all the lyrics yet, but we know
it will all be ok now. We know we wont let each other down.

Me at The Astoria 96

Transition - take two

Its Christmas time. Weve had the turkey, done the presents and watched Only
Fools and Horses on telly and now were back in River Studios finishing the
album. Ive spent the last month writing and re-writing lyrics and even found
time to write a new song called Lowlife (a little dig at those thinking wed split).
Im a little nervous as all eyes are on me. Ive never sung in front of people
before. I know its only Dave, Brad, and his assistant here but its still a strange
place I find myself in. Thankfully, theyre all out there in the control room and Ive
positioned myself so they cant look at me as I do my vocal takes. Its going really
well though. Daves impressed and Brad is too. He compliments me on being one
of the easiest vocalists hes ever worked with and tells me my double tracked
vocals are perfect. This gives me no end of confidence in what Im doing and
within a day or so, weve completed all the vocal tracks and we have a complete
album.
We spend the next few days mixing it
and finally by early 96 were done and
ready to start playing live again. What
have I let myself in for?
Theres also good news on the gig front.
Weve been offered our first gig in Italy
and even better, were going to America
which is very exciting!
It was all going so well. We have our new
album all done, were both really pleased
with it, and now we have our debut live
gig booked for 25th February at The
Marquee. Thats only a few days away and here I am, in bed with horrible flu and
the most outrageous sore throat. Ive been to the Doctors and hes told me I may
have tonsillitis. Hes given me some antibiotics.
My flu symptoms are clearing up but this throat is terrible. I can hardly speak
now, let alone sing. I look, as best I can, down my throat in the bathroom mirror.
It definitely looks very red down there and if Im not mistaken, Im sure one
of my tonsils is twice the size of the other. Callie confirms this so Im off to the
Doctor again. He takes a good look with his torch and little wooden spatula thing.
Hmm he says. He scribbles something on his notepad and tells me to take it

with me and get myself down to St Marys Hospital in Paddington. Its now Friday
and were playing our gig, my first gig singing, on Sunday.
Im at reception at the hospital.
Whats your name?
mmmmaaawwwwkkkkk dooogluf
Im Sorry
mmmmaaawwwwkkkkk dooogluf
Perhaps just write it down
Ok, Mr Douglas, someone will be with you shortly
Yeah right. I doubt that very much. Miraculously though Im seen almost straight
away. The Doctor takes a good look and informs me I have what is known as a
quinsy. Not to be confused with the hit American TV drama Quincy, its basically a
big lump of pus that grows on your tonsil. Nice.
The doctor asks me to take a seat and pulls out the most gigantic syringe Ive
seen in my life. He assures me it wont hurt and, thankfully, it doesnt as he sucks
out the pus thats been living in my left tonsil for the last week. It takes no time
at all and then he asks me if I would like to see what came out. Foolishly, I say
yes. He shows me and I nearly faint. My God! Theres litres of it. Well, perhaps
not litres, but theres an awful lot of the stuff. I decline his offer for me to keep
it as a souvenir (hes a Doctor with a sense of humour!). He tells me I should be
fine now and immediately I find I can talk without pain once more. He tells me I
should try not to talk too much to let it all heal properly. I decide not to tell him
Im singing a gig in two days time.

Yet another debut gig

So, its now Sunday and were at The Marquee once more. Yesterday we
rehearsed and my voice came out fine so all is well again. It feels weird sound
checking, just me and Dave. Im not even holding a bass, I feel naked, I dont
know what to do with my hands. It all goes fine though and after a bite to eat the
club opens and a healthy crowd builds up. A couple of friends of ours John and
Anna, who run the label Grave News, have recently been arriving at gigs bearing
random gifts to be placed on the merchandise table. I never do understand why
they do this but they do. Tonight they have brought with them, of all things,
a goldfish! The goldfish is accepted in kindness and placed alongside the CDs,
T-shirts and badges on the merchandise table. Everyone tries to pretend its not
at all odd!

I think were both a little nervous tonight. Me, obviously, because Ive never
sung live in public before, and Dave because this is a new beginning for us and
we dont really know what to expect. It all goes ok though but, truth be told, Im
probably not at my best. I have, perhaps, had one too many beers to steady the
nerves. Not helped by the antibiotics Im on for my throat. But the new songs
and singer are accepted well.
After the show, its a sense of relief. Finally, weve come through all this. We have
a new line up, proved we can do it live and now all thats left to do is decide
what to do with the bloody goldfish! Nobody is tempted with the poor thing so
in the end me and Callie take him home to live with us. We name him Quinsy
after my recent infection. He lives happily with us for many years to come until
he outgrows his tank and we have to give him to my Mum where he lives in her
garden pond.

Italy
This all seems very exciting. Were off to play a gig but were not in the back of a
van or a minibus. Oh no. Were flying! Here and now, in 2013, I can tell you there
is nothing exciting about flying to gigs. Its tedious and a right pain in the arse.
But, back in 1996, this is cool. Were booked from London Luton to Turin flying
with Debonair (classy name). Now just a two-piece band we can travel light.
Just one guitar, some effects and a backing CD are all thats required. We have
Callie and Yaz with us too. Were met in Turin by the promoters of tonights gig,
Steph and Lesley and also, Stephs boyfriend Danny. Danny plays bass in tonights
support band and in about 12 years time he will be playing bass for us. We go
back to their flat in Turin and then they take us out for a coffee before going to
the venue for a look around. The venue is really cool and they are expecting a
pretty big crowd. We have to take their word for this as we really have no idea
what to expect tonight.
Weve been hanging out in the dressing room before returning to Stephs flat for
some food. There are about five metal steps, which lead down from the dressing
room to the stage and as I walk down, I trip on the first and fall the rest of way.
Theres a moment of stunned silence as it looks like my leg twists on the way
down and everyone thinks my leg is broken. Thankfully its not, but its severely
gashed forcing me to spend the rest of the weekend limping about and trying to
get sympathy!
After a fabulous home cooked pasta meal at Stephs flat, somehow, we all
manage to squeeze into Dannys little Fiat and he drives us back to the venue.

Driving in Italy is a new experience for us all. When theres a queue of traffic in
front of you, dont worry, you just drive around it on the pavement. Its also quite
feasible in Italy to get three cars through a gap big enough for one. Fifteen hairraising minutes later, were back at the venue for sound checks. All is good and
were getting the whole rock star treatment. Nothing is too much bother. Theres
drink and food a plenty and now we have to do a couple of interviews for local
fanzines.
The show is amazing. The place is packed. We walk out on stage with our intro
music playing and we are immediately greeted by about 20 people down the
front all squirting silly string over us. We havent even played a note yet. I cant
even see my microphone as its now completely covered in silly string. Thankfully,
the opening song has a long intro, which gives me enough time to pick it all off.
Its been a great success. Weve played a brilliant show and gone down really
well. Whats more, weve made a killing on merchandise. Weve sold well over a
million. Ok, so its a million Lire but who cares!

Turin 96

America - New York

A few weeks later and we find ourselves in the US of A. New York to be precise.
When we were first asked about coming over last year we had hoped to make it
a bit of a holiday too and bring the girlfriends with us. Unfortunately, the costs
kept going up and up so its just me and Dave here. Were playing three gigs. Two
in New York and one in Chicago. How exciting is this? Its my first time ever in
America. Well, it should be exciting but Im not really feeling it.
Things started badly this morning when we arrived at Heathrow. I realised Id
left my wallet at home. I have some cash on me but hardly enough to the last
the five or six days were going to be away for. Theres no time to do anything
about it but Daves said hes happy to sub me until we get back, thank god.
Going through security we got pulled to one side by American Airlines who went
through every single piece of luggage we had with us then followed with a load
of dumb questions such as; why are you in band? and why are you friends?.
The flight was boring and we didnt even get seats next to each other. To top it all
off, coming through US customs (after another interrogation) the guy wanted to
know if we were the band Gene Loves Jezebel!
Anyway, were here now. Im grumpy and weve just been met at the airport
by a couple of young girls who call themselves collectively The Borg. Theyre
friends of Patrick Cussack who has set up our New York stay. Dont get me wrong.
Theyre nice and friendly I just dont really know why they call themselves this. I
think this is some kind of Star Trek thing? We just accept it and they drive us back
to their house, which is in New Jersey, which I believe is the posh end of town.
Well, it certainly looks it.
Were staying our first night with one of The Borg where she lives with her mom
and pa (see, Ive picked up the American lingo already). Its a massive mansion
of a place compared to homes in England and were shown down to a basement
which has two camp beds made up next to some workbenches and is about the
size of my entire flat. We have a short sleep and then The Borg, who have now
doubled in numbers, take us out to a restaurant to eat.
Have we done something wrong? Were getting some strange looks from The
Borg. Weve ordered a pitcher of beer each to go with our meals. The Borg (who
seem to keep growing in numbers as more friends arrive) think were crazy and
question us as to if well be able to finish them on our own. We assure them well
be fine and order a few more before the night is out. Dave and I arent really sure
what the problem is.

Next day and we finally meet up with Patrick at his flat in central New York. Sorry.
Noo Yawk. His flat is up many flights of stairs. Thankfully, were travelling light.
His flat is also very small. Most of the space is taken up with his impressive CD
collection. We manage to squeeze ourselves in and we have a chat over some
beers before we go over to the venue for our first US gig, travelling in one of the
infamous yellow cabs.
The venues a bit of a shit hole to be honest and to make matters worse we
dont get a rider. Were given a measly two tokens each to exchange at the bar
for beer. Daves having trouble. Were setting up for our sound check but the
voltage converters we have dont seem to be working quite right. We checked
all this before coming over but Daves effects pedals keep switching on and off
intermittently. We try everything but nothing solves the problem. In the end the
guitarist from our support band, Judith, lets Dave use his set up. Its not ideal as
his guitar sound is now totally different but we struggle through. Its not a great
start.
The evening doesnt get much better. We play to a very small crowd and hardly
sell any merchandise. And we have to keep paying for our beers now. Our tokens
are long gone. I keep forgetting to tip the barman and when I do remember I
dont tip enough, which pisses him off so it takes an age to get served.
We spend the next day hanging out in New York with Patrick. Hes really nice
but Im not really enjoying myself. Id like to be looking at the Statue of Liberty
or taking in Manhattan or Broadway but were actually, hang on, actually, I have
no idea where we are. Somewhere in New York, but were looking around CD
shops and flea markets. I could do be doing this in Camden. Its the same old
shit really. After a day looking at fleas Patrick takes us to a club called The Bank.
Hes spinning there tonight apparently. I didnt realise that breakdancing was still
popular in New York but then I find out spinning actually means DJing!
We sit in the club whilst Patrick does his spins. Its quite boring and we dont
have a lot of money so we have to try and make a beer last as long as possible.
Our second and last date in New York is at a club called Batcave. Its not too
dissimilar to Slimelight back home with about four floors, each one playing a
different genre of music. Patrick has advised us not to go to any of the other
floors except the one which we are on which is the Goth floor. We dont.
There are three other bands playing tonight. None of whom we know or who are
in any way similar to us. They represent each of the other genres of music being

played on the other floors. The gig is another let down. With no introduction
and no sound check, we go on to play just a short thirty-minute set. Dave has
problems again. We tested his gear after the first gig and it all appeared to be
working fine so we had just put it down to dodgy electrics at the club. Tonight
though, we have a similar issue. Daves effects are playing up again but somehow
we get through. The audience, although larger than at our first gig, seem mostly
disinterested and look at us as though were spoiling their night. Again, we hardly
sell any merchandise. Its getting depressing. Id rather be home but we still have
Chicago to go.

America - Chicago
Weve taken a flight from New York to Chicago and are met at the airport by
a girl who goes by the name of Scary Lady Sarah. Shes not scary at all and is
actually quite lovely and friendly. Sarah drives us from the airport to her flat,
which is right near the football stadium. I say football. I actually mean that game
the Americans play thats rugby with motorcycle helmets! Sarah informs us that
yesterday there was a shooting there but dont worry it doesnt happen that
often. She leads us up to her flat. Dave follows Sarah but turns straight back
around and says to me,
Youre not going to like this
Why?
Err. You know how you have a phobia of snakes?
Yes
Well, shes got two rather large ones in her living room and thats where were
sleeping
Oh, bloody hell. I have a massive phobia of the things. Always have. I cant even
look at a picture of one. How on earth am I going to stay in a room with them?
This is a nightmare. I havent exactly been enjoying myself on this trip and this is
just the cherry on the cake. I dont know what to do. Im sizing up the landing Im
on thinking maybe I can bed down here tonight.
Whilst Im panicking, Daves gone back into the flat and is explaining to Sarah the
problem. Sarah is brilliant and totally understanding. I wait outside a little longer
and then she returns and tells me to come in, as all is fine. She has covered the
massive tank with black out material and then, to be sure, shes put rather heavy
weights on top so that theres no chance of them escaping.
This is making me cringe even typing this.

Once its all clear I go in. The bastard things are behind me I know, but I make
sure I dont turn around. Even though they are covered and secure I still cant
bring myself to see how big the tank is. Sarah makes us coffee and I start to
calm down a little. She asks if we would like to go out in the evening. Without
hesitation, I say yes. Anything to get me away from those things.
This is better. Were at a small club that Sarah knows, having some beers and
chatting with some of her friends. Everyone here seems a lot friendlier than
back in New York and Im actually starting to enjoy myself. I down enough beers
to make sure I fall asleep immediately we get back so that my brain doesnt start
going into overdrive with my phobia.
A new experience today. Were in a Dunkin Donuts. Its all glamour for us. Its
just down the road from Sarahs flat and as she has had to leave early, weve
come here for some breakfast. Its the only place we can find. How could anyone
possibly eat a doughnut for breakfast? Its beyond me so I stick to croissants.
Once Sarah returns, she takes us with her to her work for bit, explaining we
might enjoy it. Its a place that does relaxation therapies. Girls stuff basically but
up for a laugh, we go along with it.
Me and Dave are now both lying down on comfy reclining chairs in a darkened
room. Were wearing headphones playing some kind of relaxing music. It may be
whale song, I dont know. Or maybe sounds of the womb. Sarah hands us both
a pair of glasses. The glasses have little LED lights inside them that flash various
colours across our eyelids.
Were both trying very hard not to laugh. This is so not us. Sarah knows this and
thinks its quite amusing to see us like this. She says we should just relax and
listen to the calming music whilst the lights dance across our eyelids. Half an
hour should do it she says and leaves us to it. The door clicks closed and almost
immediately we both burst out laughing. What the hell is this? We spend the
remainder of our half hour just chatting in the dark while distant whale music
emits from the discarded headphones.
When Sarah returns her next treat for us is a go in a floatation tank. Right. So
not content with exposing me to my biggest phobia last night, now she wants
me to confront my claustrophobia as well! If you think Im going to put myself in
pitch-black plastic box with some water in the bottom, youve got another thing
coming my girl. We decline the offer.

After some lunch, Sarah takes us on a whirlwind sightseeing trip of Chicago and
then a trip up the Sears Tower, which is very impressive and very high. Good job I
dont have vertigo! This is so much better than New York. I quite like it.
The following day, after another breakfast in Dunkin Donuts, we locate a music
shop. Were not trusting these power adaptors weve brought with us so were
going to buy a complete new power supply for Daves effects. Luckily, they have
one in stock and when we get back to Sarahs we give it a good test. Seems to be
ok. We spend the rest of the day just hanging out at Sarahs before heading over
to the venue.
At the venue things are looking up. Its the first venue weve played here thats
actually nice and were really pleased with the sound check. Sarahs set up
projections of our name and logo across the stage which is a nice touch too.
The gig goes well and we have a good turnout. Without doubt, its the best of
the three. We hang out afterwards until the early hours when the club closes and
from there head back to Sarahs for the briefest of sleeps before heading back to
the airport.
Bam! Im jolted awake by the plane touching down at JFK. I cant even remember
the last few hours. A combination of alcohol and lack of sleep has put paid to
that. I feel groggy and now we have to wait six hours for our connecting flight
back to London.
Its been a strange few days. I didnt enjoy our time in New York much but
Chicago was really fun. Its certainly cost us more than we had hoped and were
not returning with a healthy balance sheet. Has it been worth it? Time will tell.

Back to Germany
It isnt worth bothering to unpack when we get back home on Thursday because
on Friday were off again. This time in a hire car to Germany. Were playing in
Darmstadt with our friends Into the Abyss. Callie and Yaz are with us too so its
not just the two of us this time. Its a long journey with me being the only one of
us who can drive and its 2am Saturday by the time we arrive.
After catching up on some well-needed sleep, we go to the venue for sound
check. Its a decent size but looks odd. This place used to be a swimming pool!
The audience stand in what was the pool while the bands play at the top just
above the deep end where the lifeguard used to sit. Thankfully, we dont have to
go through the verruca pool! It kind of looks cool, if not a bit strange, but there is

a major flaw to it. The acoustics are terrible. Sound check is a struggle but we get
something vaguely decent eventually.
Into the Abyss are headlining tonight as its their hometown gig but its a fairly
small crowd when we go on. The sound is terrible. Despite trying to rectify it
from stage and asking Callie and Yaz to tell the sound guy to do something,
nothing happens to improve it. Daves mad afterwards. The guy doing the sound
was Abysss own soundman. We suspect he deliberately made our sound rubbish
in order to make Abyss seem better. Or are we being paranoid?
A massive row has ensued. Dave has been on at Janis from Abyss all night about
them deliberately screwing our sound up. Its a shame because they had been
great friends up until now. Kostas and Jens from Abyss are trying to calm things
down but nothing works. Weve severely got the hump. Were meant to be
staying with Janis tonight but that offer seems to be off the table now. Kostas and
Jens have tried to persuade us to come and stay with them but our stupid pride
has got the better of us. We end up spending an uncomfortable night sleeping in
the car. We didnt realise it at the time but Ive parked right next to a church and
were rudely awoken on the hour every hour by bloody church bells.
Come morning, bleary eyed, we make our way to the nearest service station for
breakfast and then travel the long journey back home. The weekend had been a
disaster and weve made no money.
Its time to do something positive.

Soundman #1
Daves decided to organize another summer festival in London. Mr B, who helped
with last years Nekromantic, has dropped off the radar so Daves doing this
pretty much on his own. I end up helping in various ways but really, this is Daves
festival. Hes managed to secure Londons Astoria as the venue, which is a big
leap up from last years Marquee, and hes also changed the name to Sacrosanct.
Its a bit of a gamble holding it at the Astoria but Daves confident.
Were fed up of constantly suffering from bad sound so weve decided we need
to get someone on board who can act as our own sound man. Someone who can
help with driving would be good too as we have several German dates ahead of
us. To this end were meeting up with a guy called Tim who weve found through
a small ad in the music press. We meet him at a pub in Golders Green. Hes a
quiet guy and its quite hard to get much out of him but I think he gets what
were about and he seems to know his stuff regarding sound mixing. He can also
drive which helps, so we ask him along for our next trip which is two dates in
Germany.
We head off for the continent early on Friday morning. The girls are with us and
space is a bit cramped as we now have Tim along as well. As we travel we try to
engage Tim in conversation. I can understand how hard it must be to be amongst
four people he doesnt know but hes really not a talker.
The first of the two gigs were playing this weekend is in the German town of
Ahaus near the Dutch border. Its a good venue and now we have Tim with us
this should be a good gig. Can you see where this is going?
Were halfway through sound check but everything sounds a bit crap. I jump off
stage and have a word with Tim.
Yeah Tim, can you turn Dave up a bit and me down?
Look, theyve got an SPX1200 Delay-o-matic here. I can do some cool effects
with that
Yeah, great. Can you sort out the basic levels first though?
yeah, yeah really cool effects
Tim? Are you listening? Tim? Tim?
Eventually Tim gets a reasonable sound mix but the gig is pretty poorly attended.
All is not lost though. Were staying at a big youth centre tonight and theres a
ton of beer to get through.

Tim sits quietly in the corner - Ahaus 96

Callie and Me - Ahaus 96

Ok, so perhaps Tims not the most outgoing person in the world and perhaps hes
not the best soundman in the world. Maybe hes good at the driving? Next day
with us nursing hangovers, its Tims turn to do the driving. Grrr. He drives a nice
steady 50 on the autobahn all the way to our next gig in Meiningen.
After our gig here last year Im really looking forward to this one. The only issue
is that were playing with Into the Abyss again. After our little spat a few weeks
back Im not sure how this is going to go. We finally arrive and Abyss are already
there. Kostas and Jens are friendly as always and its good to see them and
realise they have no grudge. Janis is a different matter. We hardly even get a
hello.
The hospitality from the venue is, once again, excellent and they have provided
both bands with a delicious hot meal. We hadnt really noticed this yesterday
but Tims hardly eating anything. I question him and he tells me hes fine. Hes
brought his own sandwiches with him. It turns out hes a vegan and very fussy
about what he can and cant eat. Hes actually brought little else with him,
it turns out, other than one small holdall thats crammed full of mushroom
sandwiches and a couple of pairs of pants and socks for good measure.
Gig times approaching and Im little worried about the turnout. Compared to
our gig here last year its very small indeed. Fifty people, or thereabouts, is all
were getting tonight. We take to the stage a bit pissed off with poor turnout. The
sound is terrible again. I really dont think Tim has actually got a clue what hes
doing. The stage is full of screams of feedback. Its a mess. Daves getting angrier
by the minute. Hang on. Whats he doing now? Daves put his guitar down and
stormed off stage. Oh great! Im now stuck here on my own. Is he coming back or
isnt he? I have no idea. I can see Yaz and Callie trying to calm him down but hes
having none of it. I jump down from the the stage and convince Dave to continue
which he begrudgingly does and we limp through to the end our set. As soon as
its over we all retreat upstairs to the backstage area.
This is awful. Weve done nothing but argue and bicker since we finished over
an hour ago. Daves blaming me for the crap gig. Im blaming him. Were both
blaming Tim. Its all ridiculous and its a horrible atmosphere.
The girls have had enough and gone to bed. Im hanging out with a few random
people getting drunk. Ive no idea where Daves got to. Hes wandered off and
Ive left him to it. I suspect hes doing the same as me somewhere else.

Darren on merchandise duties

Me at The Astoria

I find him a few hours later downstairs. We have a little chat. Weve both calmed
down now. I pour a bottle of beer over his head and were all friends again. We
stay up for whats left of the night together, drinking until the sun comes up.
Another day, another hangover. I really cant face sitting in the back of the car
while Tim drives at 50 miles an hour again. Im possibly over the limit from last
night but I drive to the nearest services where we stop for breakfast. Its another
long, long journey home.
We eventually get back to London and drop Tim home. We drive round the
corner and I have to park up. We all burst out laughing! Poor Tim. I dont think he
really got us. And we certainly didnt get him! We never call on his services again.
Were still convinced we need someone to do sound for us. How hard can it be?
We only have a backing CD, one guitar and one vocal but we just seem to be
getting crap sound everywhere we go which pisses us off and then we do a shit
gig. Its not really a happy time for us but we may just have found the answer to
our prayers. Oh how wrong could we be?

Soundman #2
Weve come across a guy whos actually a professional sound man. Hes just
finished working with Depeche Mode on their recent American tour. So he says.
Daves met him and he said he seems to be ok. Hes between jobs and is happy to
work with us so long as he gets fed and a bed for the night. He doesnt drink so
hes more than happy to do all the driving. It all sounds too good to be true. It is.
Were off on another trip to Germany. Right, this time its going to be good. It has
to be. Please. Zoblitz and Berlin here we come. Weve hired a minibus this time
as the band Die Laughing are coming with us for their first taste of Europe. Were
all round at Daves flat getting ready to leave and spirits are high. Im driving the
first little bit and then were going to stop and pick up our new soundman just
outside London then hes driving the rest of the way. So far so good. We pull
off the motorway and pick up Mr Sound. I really cant bring myself to type his
name so lets call him Bill. Right. Were not even at Dover yet and I have taken an
instant disliking to Bill. I dont really want him around. Since we picked him up,
hes done nothing but talk about himself and brag. If theres one kind of person
I really dislike its people who talk about themselves and think theyre great.
Im relieved when we get on the ferry as it means I can get away from him. No
chance. Hes collared me at the bar and now hes telling me all about his tour
with Depeche Mode. Actually, hes just bragging about it.

Off the ferry at Calais and back on the bus, we drive through the night and
thankfully sitting in the back the music from the stereo is drowning Bill out.
We finally arrive in Zoblitz and sound check goes well. I have to admit Bill is
pretty good. He does indeed know his stuff behind the mixing desk. I still dislike
him though. Finally, after what seems like an eternity, we have a good gig. Theres
plenty of people here and we have great sound. Its also good to be hanging
around with Die Laughing.
No time for Trabant trips this time though as were off to Berlin next to play the
Slaughterhouse again. Another successful night. Hopefully weve turned the
corner. Im even starting to tolerate Bill. Maybe I was a bit too judgemental?
Were staying at the venue tonight and while most people have gone to bed,
Me, Callie, Yaz and John from Die Laughing stay up drinking and for some reason
decide it would be a good idea to try and play football with a melon! The game is
cut short though after John tries to head it and gives himself mild concussion and
a badly stained T-shirt! All in all, its been a pretty successful trip.

Wake you up
Daves organising of the Sacrosanct festival is now in full swing and to coincide
with it we feel we should release something. We dont have the time or the
songs to do a new album so were going to put out a CD single.
Ive been busy writing some stuff at home and have even started to put some
synths into the songs to add a new dimension to our sound. Im pretty pleased
with these demos and once Daves worked out some guitar bits, were ready to
go into the studio and record.
Andy from Resurrection is never one to spend money when he doesnt have to
so hes come up trumps with a cheap place for us to record. Hes been getting
to know a guy called Michael whos a student at Londons School of Audio
Engineering (SAE). As part of his studies, hes looking for bands to record to help
him improve his skills.
Im not sure if this is 100% legitimate. Im not sure Michael has full permission to
be doing this. He tells us we cant put the real studio name on the CD so we have
to make one up instead. We find ourselves at the rather plush studios at SAE. Its
a really good studio all kitted out with the latest gear and a mixing desk larger
than any I have seen before. Its a pleasant experience and the drums, bass and
guitar all go down effortlessly over our first weekend.

The sun is shining and it seems like the

whole country is in a good mood today.
Even me. The press are calling it the
second summer of love. Brit pop is in
full swing and England have just beaten
Spain in the quarter finals of Euro 96.
Theres a party atmosphere on the
tube as I head back to SAE to record my
vocals for the new tracks. Once again it
all goes smoothly and by the end of the
weekend we have three new tracks for a
CD single called Wake you up.

Leipzig
With our new single now in our hands we return, yet again, to Germany on July
5th. Were playing a festival in Leipzig called Wave Gothic Treffen. Its early days
for the festival but in years to come it will become huge and we will play there
twice more. We take Bill with us again and once more, we have a good show. We
play outdoors and take to the stage just as the sun goes down. Theres a really
big crowd of 1000 or so. Im pleased we dont screw up. However, despite getting
good sound again, Bill is endlessly bragging when hes around us and generally
getting on my nerves. I speak with Dave about him but he thinks its a small price
to pay for having someone good out the front doing our sound. I guess hes right.
Ill just have to bite my lip a bit harder.

Broken windscreens
Another weekend and another trip to Germany. Why dont we just move there?
Were playing another festival, this time in the town of Beeskow right on the
Polish border. Were all squished into a hire car and Im driving the first bit down
to Dover. Bill is with us again. Were not even out of London yet and Ive just had
to pull over, calm down and have a word with Bill.
Right, Bill. I have been driving for about 10 years now. I know what a speed
camera looks like and Im fully aware of the speed limits. If you continue to point
out cameras and remind me of the speed limit every two minutes either you will
get out or I will. Alternatively, you could just shut the fuck up and let me get on
with it. Whats it to be?

In silence, we make our way to Dover and catch the ferry. On board, Bill
apologises to me and I accept. Theres nothing worse than a back seat driver eh?
Actually, he was in the front, which makes it worse. Anyway, I dont want this
crap atmosphere so we put it behind us and get on with it.
The festivals a lot smaller than Leipzig but still theres a big crowd. Its nice and
sunny so were just chilling out with a beer watching some of the other bands
before we go on.
We go on.
Theres no sound coming from the on-stage monitors.
Wheres Bill?
Look towards sound desk expecting to see Bill on top of the problem.
No one there. Weird.
Scan crowd. No sign of him.
Scan crowd again. Locate group of young impressionable girls with annoying
soundman letching over them.
Finally, Callie gets Bill to return to his post. He tries to look important and
twiddles a few knobs but he does nothing much to improve things. Shit gig.
Pissed off.
Daves on the warpath. Hes just had a blazing row with Bill. We leave Bill to chat
up young girls hes got no chance with and go and get drunk. Bill appears again
and another row erupts. Far worse this time. Weve had enough. None of us
wants him around us anymore. Dave shoves some money at him and tells him to
go and fuck himself. He can make his own way home.

Beeskow Festival

Were staying at a local JZ tonight about 2 minutes away. A JZ is like a youth club
with accommodation. We pack our stuff into the car and head to the exit of the
festival. Bills waiting for us at the gate. Hes blocking our exit so we cant get out.
Unless, of course, we run him over which doesnt seem like a bad option right
now. But we do stop the car and another row breaks out. He thinks he should
come with us. We tell him no way. Weve given him more than enough money.
He can make his own way home.
I return to the car. Im sitting in the drivers seat. Yaz and Callie are in the back.
I start the engine again and then BAM! Bills just smashed his metal flight case
through the windscreen in a rage. Thank god, Im wearing glasses to drive as
loads of shards of glass splinter against them. He could have blinded me, the
idiot! Hes not finished yet. Hes now round the side and has done the same to
the back passenger window where Callie is. Yaz is now out the car having a go at
Bill and, oh look, hes just swung his flight case in her direction as well. Thankfully
hes missed. What a nice chap.
Four or five big guys pull him away. Yaz is now kicking and punching him and
Daves about to leather him until hes pulled away too. Im now in shock and it
takes a minute or two to come out of it. Weve no idea know where Bills gone
now.
Twenty minutes have passed and the cops arrive. Were taken away to give
statements over whats just happened. Bills now up for criminal damage to a
motor vehicle. We all have to give our version of events to the copper. He doesnt
speak great English so most of the conversation is translated through a German
guy called Martin whos been hanging out with us and speaks good English.
Its taken a good hour for us all to recall the events to the police but now we can
finally leave. As were leaving a bunch of tough looking guys approach us and in
hushed tones ask us if wed like them to take care of Bill for us. They know the
surrounding forests very well and they tell us that they can hurt him real bad and
no one will ever know. We thank them but decline their offer and decide that
the police will be better placed to deal with him. The cars a mess. We remove as
much of the broken glass as we can and carefully drive the short distance to our
accommodation.
Thankfully, there are some well-needed beers there when we arrive so we tuck in
and go over the nights events. Its been one hell of a day and its not long before
we fall asleep.

Im just drifting off when theres a knock at the door. I hear Dave get up and
answer it. I dont believe it. Its the cops. Theyre done with Bill and have brought
him back to us. Oh, how kind of them! Dave explains we dont want him. Bill says
he wants his cassettes he brought over with him which are in the car.
Help yourself, theres a big fucking hole in the window says Dave. With that,
thank God, hes gone.
Next morning and thankfully its sunny! The last thing we need with a big hole
in the car windscreen is rain. After a fantastic breakfast sitting in the sun, our
German friends are being very helpful ringing around German equivalents of
Auto Glass, RAC and AA. They all want ridiculous amounts of money as this is a
Sunday and wed need to actually join them before they would even come out.
Were not exactly flush with money and none of us has a credit card. Were a bit
stuck and not sure what to do. As if by magic one of our hosts has just appeared
with a small box in his hands. Its a temporary plastic windscreen. Not just any
temporary plastic windscreen though. This one is from a Trabant!
We fix it in place and I tentatively give the car a little test drive. It seems to be
fine so long as you dont go above about 40. Going above this puts too much
pressure on whats left of the windscreen and bits of glass start to fall into the
car.
After a very long days drive weve made it as far as Belgium. Weve had to stop
several times due to rain, as we cant use the windscreen wipers. At the last stop,
we get some diner and Callie makes a translation faux pas and orders herself
apple pie and chips. In her defence, it did look a lot like quiche. It certainly does
now with all that ketchup shes just put on it!
Its late and time to get some sleep. Weve pulled off into a service station and
found a nice spot under a tree to provide shelter. We bed down for the night in
the car.
Next morning, after some coffee and breakfast, were ready to get going again.
Arrrgh! Ive just turned the ignition and me and Dave in are showered in bits
of broken glass! Seems I must have knocked the windscreen wipers to the on
position whilst sleeping - whoops!

Another very long day but were determined not to have to sleep in the car again
so we push on at a steady 40 mph. We finally make it back in the early hours of
Tuesday morning. We drop off the hire car. They dont seem too concerned about
the lack of windscreen although, obviously, theyre going to charge us for it. I
think they feel sorry for us as they even give us a lift back home.

Our smashed up car!

Sacrosanct
Its now all about the upcoming Sacrosanct festival. Promotion is all done,
accommodation and catering for the bands sorted and I find myself the night
before folding and stapling festival programmes and punching holes and
attaching lanyards to laminated backstage passes.
The big day arrives and we head down to the Astoria. Its so amazing to be here!
Ive been here so many times in the past to see bands play but this weekend Im
actually playing myself. I cant wait! With the auditorium empty at the moment
the place looks massive compared to some of the places we usually play. And
that stage - its enormous! Im just wandering around taking it all in. I havent
really got much to do now. Callie and Yaz are busy backstage making a hundred
rounds of sandwiches for the bands. I offered to help but, thankfully, my help
wasnt required. Daves, well, I dont know where hes gone but hes probably
doing something important. The bands are starting to sound check. Rosetta
Stone from Liverpool first. It sounds awesome out front but theyre having on
stage sound issues. Nice to see its not just us that has this problem.
I check out the queue thats now started to form outside. I dont think Daves
going to have too much to worry about. Its massive and by 2pm, the doors are
open and people start flocking in.

Dave at The Astoria 96

Me at The Astoria 96

We spend the day enjoying the show. Each band plays really well but afterwards
each band complains about the bad stage sound. Now its my turn to say it
sounds ok out front. Rosetta finish the night. I think its them anyway.
Theres so much dry ice its hard to see. Theyre still experiencing sound issues
though.
Sunday, and this is our day! Despite hangovers, were back at the Astoria for
day two by midday. We should be doing our sound check but were waiting for
the Astorias sound crew to fix the issues that dogged yesterday. They seem to
know what it is and are now replacing the monitoring setup with new bits of
equipment whilst, literally, throwing large pieces of old equipment across the
stage. It takes an age to sort out and, by the time theyre done were so limited
on time we only manage a five-minute check. Its not ideal but were out of
time, the doors will be opening again soon. Sound check done we nip outside
and admire our name in lights above the Astoria. Its a great moment to see it
there. Makes you proud. Shame theyve spelt it wrong then! Yaz goes off to find
someone and soon enough the missing m is put in place.
Its another great day. As soon as the
doors are open, theres a mad rush
on our merchandise table. Now, I
never do the merch. I find it better
to leave it to the girls as theyre
better at that kind of thing. However
today, even I have to help out. Its
crazy! Theres money flying about all
over the place. This is good.
The five bands preceding us all go
down well and then were on. Im
so up for this. We start with some
intro music and then straight into
a track from our last album called
Face to Face. It has quite a long intro
before the singing comes in so I stay
back while Daves out there on the
Astoria stage all on his own. Finally, I
walk on. The crowd is huge. What a
moment! Im trying to enjoy myself
but Im really struggling. This sound
issue is doing my head in.

Every time I sing, theres a delay before it comes back at me through the stage
monitors. Depending on where I stand on stage, the delay time seems to vary. Its
really off putting and makes it so hard to tell where in the song I am. The crowd
dont seem to notice though so I just try as best I can to enjoy the moment.
We make it to the end. Theres a massive roar from the crowd and were done.
Weve had our fair share of difficulties and its tainted what should have been a
real highlight but overall the weekend has been a great success!

Sacrosanct

Home studio
After a short break from gigs, a dream of mine has come true. Our flat has
been turned into a recording studio! Theres gear and wires everywhere.
Unfortunately, its not staying. Its all on hire. A German label has asked us to
record a track for a compilation CD theyre doing. Its not for Resurrection so
Andys not paying anything towards it so we need to fund this ourselves. We
looked around and decided we could do it cheaper by hiring stuff in rather than
going to a studio. We record and mix two tracks over the weekend with very
pleasing results.

Halloween & Rome

Theres two more gigs left before the year is out. On Halloween we return to
the Kings Arms and recreate the Sanctuary club of old for one night only. Weve
lined the front of the stage with pumpkins, laughing ghosts and other crappy
Halloween stuff we could find at the 24 hour petrol station and its a great night.
More of a party than anything. Then we travel back to Italy to play in Rome. Its a
strange gig this. Quite a hostile atmosphere and afterwards the place is invaded
by Italian Nazi supporters. We get the hell out.

One eye open - take one

January 97 and weve been busy writing more songs and were turning our
attentions to the recording of a new album. Once again, Andy from Resurrection
has done a deal. Remember that company Tonic we dealt with for the pressing
of our Depths of Innocence CD? Well the guy behind this now has a brand new
recording studio over in Ealing, West London. This should ring alarm bells after
our last involvement with them but stupidly we ignore all voices of concern.
Were about two hours into our first session and weve done precisely nothing.
We didnt quite realise how new this studio was. When they said new what they
actually meant was unfinished! There are still electricians who have been here
all night wiring things together. Nothing is working yet but were assured that we
can start recording soon.
Somehow, weve managed to lay down the drum machine parts but were now
trying to record the bass and guitars and were running into teething troubles,
so were told. None of the gear in this studio wants to talk to one another so
nothing will synchronise making it impossible to record. Its a shambles! We
decide to call it a day and give the studio the time they need to sort out
their issues.

A week later, were back. Same problems.

Were nowhere near finishing this album. In fact, it doesnt really feel like weve
even started it yet. We have quite a few dates lined up for the coming year so
we better get a move on. We have a gig in Edinburgh, one in London, Dublin and
then a few in Germany and Italy. Daves also talking about doing Sacrosanct again
in August. A busy year ahead then, but first were off to Paris.

Paris
Ive got this wonderful new thing. Its
called the Internet. Weve arranged this
gig all through the mighty power of email!
How exciting. We may even make our own
webpage but first I need to find out what
HTML is!
Were supporting Rosetta Stone at a place
called La Locomotive. We arrive late in
the evening the night before the gig and
were stunned - weve been told that well
be sound checking at 8am. Did I hear that
right? Apparently so. Yes, eight oclock in the
morning. Blimey. It turns out, due to noise
restrictions, this is the only time we can do it.
Well at least the venue has provided
breakfast for us. Coffee and, of course,
croissants. Rosetta are moaning though. All
they want is a nice cup of tea but the French
dont really do tea. Daves also having a
moan. He thinks croissants are just pieces of
cardboard. Still, Im happy enough though.
Sound check done we return to the hotel to
catch some sleep before finding a nice English
pub complete with red phone box. We sink
a few pints then were off for the quickest of
looks at some big electricity pylon standing
by something resembling Marble Arch! Then
were off to a few sex cinemas.

Sex cinemas? Oh yes! We have a friend called Darren with us. Hes a little, shall
we say, obsessed with them. Thats the only reason. Were doing it for him.
Honest.
The gig goes well and its a lovely venue to play in. Its also good to see Rosetta
again too. Nobody knows this at the time but this is (I think) their last ever gig.

One eye open - take two

Now its back to the studio to try and crack on with recording the new album.
Finally were getting somewhere. Weve managed to get some more done but
there are still issues. Im in the vocal booth recording. Its like being back on stage
at the Astoria again with big time delays between me opening my mouth and
hearing anything back through my headphones. The engineer asks me if this is a
problem. Err. Yes.
Ive had enough of this. Were never going to get this album done here. Its a
mess. Once again, we leave the studio with promises of it being fixed in time
for our next session. We have no intention of returning. Rather sneakily, whilst
Daves chatting away with the engineer, Ive ejected all the tapes weve been
recording onto so we can take what bits weve recorded with us. We have a plan.
We head straight to Resurrection and weve managed to convince Andy to hire in
the equipment needed to complete the recording.
Its Sunday morning and my flat is full of flight cases. Both me and Dave are
knackered as weve just had to lug them all up four flights of stairs. No time for
rest though and a few hours later we have our own recording studio set up in my
spare room.
The following seven days are hectic. We spend every precious second we can
trying to finish off the album. Were both trying to fit it around day jobs, although
it soon becomes evident its never going to be completed unless we take a few
days of precious holiday to get it done.
This is ridiculous. Daves in one room recording some guitar parts while Im in
another trying to write lyrics. Somehow though, its starting to come together.
By the weekend, I dont know how, but were nearly done. We literally eject the
finished DAT as the guy from the hire company arrives to collect all the gear.

Its been a gruelling week and not a

particularly enjoyable one. The first
few seeds of doubt about whether I
want to carry on doing this or not have
been sown. On reflection the past
twelve months have not really been the
greatest. We seem to have had more
bad experiences than good and the highs
are no longer making up for the lows.
I was never in this for fame or fortune.
If you want that then never, ever join a
Goth band! I was in this for enjoyment.
Sadly that seems to be diminishing at the
moment.

Snap out of it!

Right. Snap out of it. Get on with things. This is a new chapter. Its March 1st
and our new album One Eye Open has been released. It has the worst cover
artwork I have ever seen in my life, but no time to worry about that. We have lots
of gigs ahead and the first is tonight in Edinburgh. Were playing back in London
tomorrow night so in order to do this and get back in time were going up on
the train.
Predictably were a bit late arriving at Kings Cross station as we spent a bit
too long in The Devonshire Arms in Camden beforehand. The train is now full
and about to depart any minute. There are no seats and we end up having to
run along the platform with all our gear, right to the front in order to get on a
carriage with a bit of space. Its standing room only all the way to Newcastle
when, at last, we manage to get a couple of seats for the last bit of the journey.
We should have just stayed in the pub! I was quite happy there. Six hours on the
train (standing for four of them) to play to ten people. Its been a disaster. Theres
plenty of time to ponder on this as we make the six-hour journey back home
again. Thank God for the buffet car. I need a beer!
Off the train, onto the tube and now were at The Borderline in London. I quite
like this venue. Ive seen several other bands here but weve never played here
ourselves. Its small but has a very professional set up. We play a really good gig,
the new songs go down well and we get a good crowd too. But does this make
everything ok again? Im not sure.

Dublin - 25th April 1997

Its been eight weeks now since the last gig. Daves been busy setting up the
Sacrosanct festival for this year. Hes planning something even bigger this time
round with it spanning four days. Meanwhile, Ive had plenty of time to think
things over. Ive come to a decision. Ive had enough and its time to end things.
On the surface, its an easy decision. Ive been doing this because I enjoyed it. But
this last year has not been so enjoyable. More lows than highs. The enjoyment
has gone.
Deeper down though the decision has been pretty tough. My life for the last six
years has revolved around the band. When I first met Dave, all those years back,
he was just the guy that played guitar but over the years hes turned into one of,
if not my best, friends. Its not going to be easy telling him. I dont know what his
reaction will be but I have to think of myself too.
There are lots of things planned over the next few months and the last thing I
want to do is let people down so I have decided to carry on with this up until the
Sacrosanct festival in August. After that we have nothing planned or booked. So
Ill stay committed until then and call it a day after that. Hopefully, we can go out
on a high. But how do I tell Dave? Perhaps I should do a flyer like we did when we
killed off Restoration? Nah. I dont think so.
However I tell Dave, its not going to be tonight. Its Friday 25th April and
were playing his hometown gig in Dublin. Hes excited about this one and left
yesterday so he could hang out in Dublin. Me and Callie are making our way
across today by train and then a ferry from Holyhead to Dublin. Its not been the
most pleasant of journeys. The ferry was delayed for about an hour and once we
did leave we found it full of hundreds of pissed up Liverpool fans returning from
a match. Then more of the same, but more cramped, on the train from the ferry
terminal into Dublin.
Were a little bit late arriving but still in plenty of time for sound check. We meet
up with Dave and find that hes been panicking, thinking that we werent going
to show up at all. I dont know how he came to that conclusion. Were here. In
Dublin. Bring on the craic!
The place is busy and a good-sized crowd has turned up to watch us. However,
Im not feeling it. I think that now Ive made my decision to leave this all seems
like a bit of a charade. I didnt expect to feel this way. I should try and snap
myself out of it but I cant. I just cant. We play a fairly dull set.

We dont look at each other once throughout the whole gig. Dave knows
somethings wrong.
Afterwards he asks me straight.
What the problem?
I really didnt want this to happen tonight but, it all comes out. I tell him how Im
no longer enjoying myself doing this. But I also tell him about my decision to stay
until Sacrosanct.
Its not gone down too well. Daves gone mad. A big row has erupted. Daves
shouting at me, Im shouting back. From Daves point of view, if I want to leave
I should just leave now. Or as Dave puts it Fuck off now. Meanwhile Callies
having a big row with Daves girlfriend - its all got very messy. Were meant to all
be staying together tonight at the promoters house. By the end of the evening,
we cant even find Dave. Hes gone. Left us.
So here we are. Outside in the freezing cold at Dublin ferry port at 5am in the
morning, waiting for the first ferry of the day to take us on our long journey back
home.

Epilogue
I saw Dave a few times after that night in Dublin but we never spoke. It was
always at gigs or clubs so I just kept out of his way. He went on to hold his
Sacrosanct festival in August and in a small way I even helped out by putting up
one of the bands playing (The Last Dance) in our flat for a few days. Well, that
was the intention, but we all got on so well it ended up being a few weeks!
Dave then started a new band, Excession, with his new girlfriend Yasmin.
It was a good four years until we bumped into each other properly again. This
time at a Chameleons gig in Shepherds Bush in 2001. It was good to see him.
Slowly the old friendship was reunited. I went on to play live with him a few
times, playing bass as part of Excession as and when needed.
Things then went quiet again for a few years. I met up with Matt again at one
point and we even ended up doing some music under the name Trash Candy.
Nothing ever came of this, we never played live, but we did record about twenty
songs in demo form.
Then, late in 2007, I got an email out of the blue from Dave. Events had conspired
to make him think it could be a good time to do a re-union of Vendemmian.
After several email exchanges we met one night in West London to have a few
beers and to discuss about how, and even if, we could really do it.
By March the following year we were on a flight to Florence in Italy. From the
seat next to me Dave looks at me and says Looks like were doing it then....

Gigs - Restoration
20/06/1991
03/09/1991
16/09/1991
29/09/1991
30/09/1991
02/10/1991
09/10/1991
16/10/1991
17/10/1991
21/10/1991
29/12/1991
13/04/1992
14/04/1992
17/04/1992
03/05/1992
10/05/1992
11/05/1992
13/05/1992
17/05/1992
05/08/1992
06/08/1992
09/08/1992
10/08/1992
12/08/1992
16/08/1992
08/10/1992

T&C 2
Gossips
Underworld
Stage Door
Underworld
Princess Charlotte
Bull And Gate
Images
Princess Charlotte
Warehouse
Marquee
Princess Charlotte
Edwards No 8
Marquee
Underworld
Princess Charlotte
Traders
Marquee
Rock City
Pen and Wig
Princess Charlotte
Halt Bar
Banshee
Marquee

London
London
London
Scarborough
London
Leicester
London
Grantham
Leicester
Leeds
London
Leicester
Birmingham
London
London
Leicester
Glasgow
Sheffield
London
Nottingham
Birmingham
Leicester
Glasgow
Manchester
London
Manchester

Gigs - Vendemmian #1
03/03/1993
09/03/1993
06/04/1993
07/04/1993
23/04/1993
15/05/1993
22/05/1993
01/07/1993
02/07/1993
27/07/1993
28/07/1993
08/09/1993
13/08/1993
28/08/1993
14/11/1993
20/11/1993
26/11/1993
31/12/1993
16/01/1994
27/01/1994
01/02/1994
03/02/1994
11/02/1994
09/04/1994
10/04/1994
05/05/1994

Desire Club
Dome
Glasgow
Manchester
Moonlight Club
Venue
Venue
Camden Palace
Moonlight Club
Pen and Wig
Banshee
Marquee
Pieces Club
Rock City
Marquee
Racehorse
Pieces Club
Sanctuary
Marquee
Hallomshire
Scrumpies
Old Salutation
Pieces Club
Racehorse
Marquee
Rock Shop

Leicester
London
Banshee
London
Illford
Illford
London
London
Birmingham
Manchester
London
Margate
Nottingham
London
Northampton
Margate
London
London
Sheffield
Leeds
Notingham
Margate
Northampton
London
Nottingham

Gigs - Vendemmian #2
Aug-94
Sep-94
Sep-94
Sep-94
21/10/1994
22/10/1994
23/10/1994
24/10/1994
11/12/1994
18/01/1995
23/04/1995
25/04/1995
29/04/1995
04/05/1995
05/05/1995
06/05/1995
09/05/1995
10/05/1995
11/05/1995
12/05/1995
13/05/1995
17/05/1995
18/05/1995
19/05/1995
20/05/1995
24/05/1995
25/05/1995
12/08/1995
17/08/1995
18/08/1995
26/08/1995

Sanctuary Club
Merecat
ABS Club

Marquee
Cavern Club
Marquee
Underworld
Merecat
ABS Club
Waldbrol JZ
Hausmetternich
Basement
Zauberberg Club
Zillo Club
JZ
Alternativezentrum
Dschungel
Dschungel
Slaughterhouse
Fresh Club
Zlwischenfall
Indie Tours Festival
Nekromantic
Duchess Of York
Nice n Sleezey
Rock City

London
Birmingham
Nottingham
Northampton
Koln
Berlin
Worms
Innsbruck
London
Exeter
London
Manchester
Birmingham
Koln
Waldbol
Koblenz
Wiesbaden
Wurzberg
Hamburg
Meiningen
Zoblitz
Dusseldorf
Dusseldorf
Berlin
Kaiserslauten
Bochum
Querfahrt
London
Leeds
Glasgow
Nottingham

Gigs - Vendemmian #3
25/02/1996
16/03/1996
28/03/1996
30/03/1996
02/04/1996
06/04/1996
03/05/1996
04/05/1996
17/05/1996
18/05/1996
05/07/1996
27/07/1996
11/08/1996
31/10/1996
30/11/1996
01/02/1997
01/03/1997
01/03/1997
25/04/1997

Marquee
Dracma Club
Pyramid
Batcave
Nocturna
Eledil Club
Logo
JZ Club
Alternativezentrum
Slaughterhouse
Leipzig Festival
Burgfestival
Sacrosanct
Sanctuary Halloween
Velvet Club
Locomotive
The Borderline
The Tower

London
Turin
New York
New York
Chicago
Darmstadt
Ahaus
Meiningen
Zoblitz
Berlin
Leipzig
Beeskow
London
London
Rome
Paris
Edinburgh
London
Dublin

Vendemmian - Drunk, Stupid and Goth