The Intelligent Dog

I'm going to tell you about an extraordinary thing that happened the other day. The
day before yesterday, about eight o'clock at night, a young woman approached the
box office of the best movie theater in the city. She had with her an enormous dog
with a beautifully groomed coat. She bought two tickets and went toward the door,
followed by her dog. The manager of the theatre spoke to her, saying...
MANAGER: I'm sorry, miss, but dogs aren't allowed in this theater.
GIRL:

But I have a ticket for him.

MANAGER: I'm very sorry, but animals aren't permitted.

GIRL:

You don't understand. This is a special case. My dog is so well trained and so
intelligent that he's almost human.

MANAGER: I see that you have an exceptional animal, but ...

GIRL:

I promise you that if there is any problem we'll leave the theater immediately. I
assure you that this dog isn't like any other dog you've ever seen.

MANAGER: Well... all right. I'll let you go in, since the theater is almost empty tonight.
Nevertheless, your dog will have to behave himself, or you will have to leave.
Several hours go by, and now the people are leaving the theater. The manager sees
the girl with her dog...
MANAGER: I congratulate you. You were right; your dog behaved very well. I've been
watching him, and it's amazing how quiet he was.
GIRL:

I told you that he's well trained and very intelligent.

MANAGER: He certainly is. It even seemed as if he was enjoying the movie.

GIRL:

Oh, he did enjoy it. He liked the film very much. However, he liked the book
much better.

Source: English Teaching Forum

GLOSSARY
box office = ticket office: a small office (in a
theater, stadium, etc.) where tickets of
admission are sold (taquilla, despacho de
billetes o entradas)
beautifully groomed coat: the hair or fur of
an animal that has been carefully cleaned and
brushed (pelaje impecablemente mantenido)

nevertheless = however (no obstante, sin embargo)

behave: show good or proper behavior (comportarse, portarse bien)
go by: pass (transcurren, pasan)
amazing = surprising (sorprendente)
He liked the film... he liked the book much better:
When a person has seen a moving picture that has

allowed = permitted (permitidos)

trained: disciplined, educated (entrenado)
almost = nearly (casi)
empty =/= full (vaco, sin pblico =/= lleno)

been made from a popular book (having read the

book earlier), he often comments, I liked the movie,
but I liked the book better (Me gust la pelcula, pero
el libro me gust ms).

The Excessive Bill

Once a man received an exhorbitant bill for legal services. He considered the amount
excessive, so he went right to the lawyer's office. As I understand it, the conversation
went like this...
CLIENT:

Is this really my bill?

LAWYER: Isn't this your name on the bill?

CLIENT:

Yes.

LAWYER: Who handled it?

CLIENT:

One of your secretaries. The tall one with blonde hair and...

LAWYER: Yes, yes, Miss Thompson. She's very accurate. There's no doubt that the bill is
correct.
CLIENT:

But this bill is too much for the services I received from your office. I didn't even
have the professional services of a real lawyer.

LAWYER: That doesn't have anything to do with it. Here the charge is the same, whether
I do the work personally, or a secretary takes a care of a routine matter such as
yours.
CLIENT:

But... but it's too much!

LAWYER: Sir, you take care of your business and I'll take care of mine!
CLIENT:

Obviously you don't know who I am!

LAWYER: And who are you, sir?

CLIENT:

Now I understand this exorbitant bill.

LAWYER: What do you mean?

CLIENT:

Simply that I belong to the same profession as you do.

LAWYER: Oh, well! Then there was an oversight. My secretary didn't make a note of that
fact. I'm very sorry about the mistake.

CLIENT:

Oh, that's all right. It could happen to anyone.

LAWYER: So you're a member of my profession, eh? Well, in that case, I'll give you a discount
of seventy-five percent.
CLIENT:

That's better! Now that the bill is for a reasonable sum, I'll pay it right away.
Here's the money.

LAWYER: Thank you very much. I hope that you'll forgive this mistake.
CLIENT:

Naturally.

After taking the money, the lawyer sees his client to the door with great respect and
courtesy, and says...
LAWYER:

But tell me, friend, where is your office?

CLIENT:

Oh, I don't have an office.

LAWYER:

But you just told me that you had the same profession as I do.

CLIENT:

Yes, I did. I'm a thief, too!

Source: English Teaching Forum

GLOSSARY
client: customer of someone who performs
professional services.
exorbitant: excessive; much larger than it should
be (exorbitante, exagerado)
right: immediately; straightway
handled: dealt with; managed; took care of
(manej, se ocup de)
accurate = exact, precise (exacto, preciso)
doesn't have anything to do with it: has no
bearing on the matter; has no connection with it;
is not a factor (no tiene nada que ver con eso)
takes care of: manages; handles; deals with (se
hace cargo de, es responsable de)
take care of your business = deal with your
business (ocpese de sus asuntos)

what do you mean? = what are you suggesting?

(qu quiere decir? qu insina)
belong to: be classified with (pertenecer a)
oversight: unintentional omission or careless
mistake. Note the strong stress on was, indicating a
contrast with his previous assertion that there had
been no mistake (error involuntario)
eh?: an interjection added at the end of a statement
to ask for confirmation or express inquiry
reasonable: fair, not excessive (razonable)
right away = immediately (de inmediato)
forgive: absolve (disculpar, perdonar)
courtesy: good manners (buenos modales)
thief: a criminal who takes property belonging to
someone else (ladrn)

The Secret
of a Long Life
I'm John Doe. I'm a journalist with an important magazine. The other day I saw a

white-haired man sitting on the porch in front of his house. I could see the wrinkles in
his face and neck, and his wrinkled hands. Articles on the secrets of living to an
advanced age are always popular with our readers, so I decided to pursue this story
and discover the secret of this man's long life. As I approached him, I said...
JOHN:

Sir, would it bother you if I talked with you for just a moment?

MAN:

Not at all, On the contrary, it would delight me. I get very bored sitting here, even
for a short time. Until a little while ago I lived a full and active life without a moment's
rest.

JOHN:

Well, they say that a lot of activity helps one to live a long time.

MAN:

That's true, very true. I still feel very well, although my step has slowed down a little.

The conversation continued in that vein for a while. Although I try to be very
considerate about obtaining information from older people, it seemed to me that it
would now be all right to begin to ask some discreet questions...
JOHN:

Would it bother you if I smoked a cigarette?

MAN:

Not at all.

JOHN:

I'd offer you one, but I suppose you probably don't smoke, or drink, or...

MAN:

On the contrary! I've always smoked my head off. And until a little while ago I went
dancing every night. And as for alcoholic drinks...

JOHN:

Do you mean to say that you've done these things all your life?

MAN:

Of course. Why does that surprise you so much?

JOHN:

I've always been told that doing those things is bad for the health.

MAN:

Ridiculous!

JOHN:

I suppose that you have another secret... a lot of fruit... vegetables... a lot of exercise
in the fresh air...

MAN:

Don't be silly! I hate exercise in the fresh air, and I don't like any kind of vegetables.

JOHN:

This is incredible!

MAN:

What do you mean, incredible? What are you talking about?

JOHN:

It's just that I can't understand how you've been able to live like that and to have
lasted so long. Tell me, how old are you?

MAN:

Me? I'm twenty-seven. Why?

Source: English Teaching Forum

GLOSSARY
white-haired man: a man having gray or white
hair
(hombre
canoso)
wrinkles: slight depressions on the skin
(arrugas)
pursue: follow up; try to find out more about
(seguir
con,
continuar).
on the contrary: quite the opposite.
in that vein: in that way; along those lines.
discreet:
proper;
inoffensive;
prudent.
smoked my head off: smoked a great deal
(fum
todo
lo
que
quise).
as for = in relation to (en cuanto a)

vegetables: Notice that this word has only three

syllables.
silly = stupid (tonto, estpido)
hate = detest, dislike (odiar, detestar)
incredible = unbelievable (increble)
lasted = lived (durado, vivido)
so long = for such a long time (tanto tiempo)
How old are you?: Note the strong stress on are,
indicating anticipation of an answer different from
what might normally be expected. (For the neutral
question How old are you? the major stress falls on
old.)

The Most Amazing

Act in the World
PETER:

Hello, John. What are you doing here?

JOHN:

Hi, Peter. I've come to see Mr. Brilliant.

PETER:

Mr. Brilliant, the famous theater agent?

JOHN:

The same.

PETER:

Then you've finally perfected your act?

JOHN:

After two years of hard work, at last I have done it! I've finally succeeded in
training an ant.

PETER:

So you've trained an ant! Amazing!

JOHN:

I have worked sixteen hours a day on this act. But Little Andy is sensational...

PETER:

Yes, it's worth all that hard work to produce an act like that, my friend! Just
think! You're the first man in history who has trained an ant.

JOHN:

I'm sure Little Andy will soon be known throughout the whole world.

PETER:

You're a lucky man. You'll be famous. You'll be rich.

SECRETARY: Excuse me, Mr. Miller, you can go into Mr. Brilliant's office now.
JOHN:

Thank you. (Pause.) Oh, miss, Mr. Brilliant isn't at his desk.

SECRETARY: He's in the other office. He'll be back right away.

JOHN:

Look, Peter, this is perfect! I'll get Little Andy's act ready while Mr. Brilliant is out
of the room.

PETER:

Good idea! He'll be surprised when he sits down at his desk and sees your ant
doing his act.

JOHN:

OK. Little Andy is ready to begin. First, he'll stand up on his front feet on top of
this little ball.

PETER:

Amazing! Can he really do that?

JOHN:

Sure. And that's not all! He waves a flag with his hind feet at the same time.

PETER:

Incredible! But... I can't see what he's doing.

JOHN:

Oh... I almost forgot the magnifying glass. With the magnifying glass you can
see the whole thing and really enjoy his act.

PETER:

OK. Where's the glass?

JOHN:

Let's see... it was here in the suitcase...

BRILLIANT: Good afternoon, gentlemen. What can I do for you?

JOHN:

Good afternoon, Mr. Brilliant. I'm John Miller. I'm here to show you the most
amazing act in the world!

BRILLIANT: Marvelous! Show me what you have.

JOHN:

All right! Take this magnifying...

BRILLIANT: Oh!... uh... there's an ant on my desk... I'll get him... (Slap!)
JOHN:

Ohhh! Nooooo! ...

BRILLIANT: There! I got it! And now, my friend, let's see this amazing act!
JOHN:

Ooohhhhh!

Source: English Teaching Forum

GLOSSARY
theater agent: a person who acts as a
representative for actors and other performers in
obtaining sponsors and occasions for their
performances (agente de espectculos,
patrocinador teatral).
The same: Yes, that very person (el mismo).
perfected (perfeccionado): Notice that the verb
perfct is stressed on the second syllable, unlike the

be
back
=
return
(regresar)
right away = immediately (de inmediato, enseguida)
stand up: rise to one's feet (pararse, ponerse de
pie)
hind feet (back feet) =/= front feet (patas
delanteras
=/=
patas
traseras)
magnifying glass = magnifier: Invented by Roger

adjective, which has a first-syllable stress (prfect).

hard work = arduous work (trabajo intenso)
training = educating (entrenando, educando)
amazing = surprising (sorprendente)
throughout the whole world = all over the world
(en todo el mundo)
lucky: blessed with good fortune (afortunado)

Bacon in 1250, it is a scientific instrument that

magni-fies or enlarges an image
(lupa)
marvelous = terrific = fantastic (maravilloso,
fabuloso,
fantstico)
I'll get him: I'll catch him, I'll trap him, I'll kill him (in
this
case,
kill
the
ant)
(lo
atrapar).
I got it: I killed the ant (mat a la hormiga).