This is a victim-impact statement from Edwin Stevens, Alice Stevens brother:

This is what I want to remember.

There are too many good memories to name. Alice was a talented girl who
excelled in anything she wanted to do. Her talents included, but were definitely
not limited to, athletics.
I remember playing lacrosse in the backyard with her. Being the obnoxious,
older, teenage brother that I was, I continually reminded her how much more
physical and faster paced boys' lacrosse is compared to girls'. I playfully showed
off a few moves that are far easier to do with a boys' lacrosse stick, thinking
she'd never be able to compete with that. The next day, she scored in a game
with the same fancy move and her coaches were bewildered as to how she
learned such a thing. She caught on fast.
She attended a high school that has many girls' varsity basketball state
championships. As a Freshman, she started at point guard along with much
larger juniors and seniors. She played so well in a playoff game that the
television reporter said, on the air, "I'll get to the seniors, but first, I have to talk
to the freshman!" Alice had lit up the court with a plethora of 3 pointers that
day.
There are so many things I would like to have back, but here are a few that stand
out in my mind.
Alice was pronounced dead 5 days before my wife and I were pronounced man
and wife. I had worked tirelessly on courting my wife for 14 years - half of my
life to that point. What was surely going to be the happiest day of my life
became one of bittersweet agony. Although we tried to separate our new life
together from the horrific death of my sister, it was just impossible to achieve
that schism completely. I want that day back.
Alice had a very funny sense of humor. When she was 8 or so, I had been
babysitting her and found her sleeping in her bed wearing a clown nose with a
hot water bottle on her head. Although my mother insists that I must have
dressed her up like that, I can tell you that I absolutely did not. It's just a small
example of how Alice would go to great lengths to brighten the day of others

around her. Instead of this joyful image, I am left with that of her lying lifeless
in a casket, only identifiable to me by the distinct tattoo on her arm.
Alice was such a great aunt to my brother's children and was looking forward to
being an aunt to mine. I regret that we never got to tell her that at the time of her
death we were pregnant with our youngest son. He will never meet her. The
closest he will get is sleeping with her old stuffed bear. Our older son only got
to meet her once on Christmas where she and Forrest very generously showered
him with gifts of toy trucks - His favorite thing. She affectionately referred to
him as "my little Mcnugget."
I want back the world where my family and I don't know such evil and horror
and where I'm not raising 2 amazing little boys within such a ghastly existence.
I want back the capacity to be the father and husband I should be, instead of
enduring the days where the loss of my beautiful, little sister still leaves me
paralyzed by grief.
When Alice was quite young she had a strange reoccurring dream of a mouse
eating ketchup in her bed. Not only was it a somewhat hilarious nightmare, but
it also made her wake up in a screaming panic. I want back the days where that
was the scariest thing in her, and all of our, lives.
But I will never get that back.

D e a rJ u d g eF r e e s e m a n n ,
for MichaelDonnta
Casenumber:CRI42379
Thisis my victimimpactstatementregarding
Jones.
andalwaysfounda
andhumor.Hewasa prankster
Forrestwasa lovingpersonfull of kindness
e as,
w a yt o m a k ep e o p l el a u g hT. h i sw a si m p o r t a ntto h i me v e na t a n e a r l ya g e .O n ee x a m p l w
wearingthoseuglyfake
with hisgrandparents
whenhe wasa kid he went to a nicerestaurant
t e e t hy o ug e t i n H a l l o w e ecno s t u m easn dw a se a t i n gw i t ht h e mo n . H i sg r a n d p a r e nwt se r e
.
p e o p l ea r o u n dt h e ms a y i n g" i t l o o k sl i k et h e yc o u l dg e tt h a t p o o rk i d st e e t hf i x e d "A
hearing
. v e nw h e ny o ud i d n ' tf e e ll i k e
t si l ln e v e rf o r g e t E
m e m o r a b lm
e o m e n th i sg r a n d p a r e nw
d n db e i n gi n v o l v e dO. n e
p a r t i c i p a t i ni ngs o m e t h i nF
g o r r e sht a da w a y o fg e t t i n g y o um o t i v a t e a
. e a l ll o o k e dc r a z y
n t h e v i d e og a m eJ u s tD a n c eW
examplw
e a s ,h e p e r s u a d eudst o p a r t i c i p a ti e
r e m o r yw e w i l la l w a y sh a v e .
t r y i n gt o d a n c eb u t w e h a da g r e a t i m ea n dt h i si s a n o t h e m
l . o m eo f t h e s e
y e l dt w o j o b se v e nw h e ni n H i g hS c h o o S
H ew a sa v e r yh a r dw o r k e ra n du s u a l l h
w
e
r e3 y e a r s
3
s
o
n
s
t
h
a
t
o
f
o
l
d
e
s
t
j o b si n t r o d u c ehdi mt o t h e w o r l do f c o o k i n gH
. ew a st h e
yet to be a goodsport'
aparteachin ageand he taughtthem a lot aboutbeingcompetitive
T h e ya l lp l a y e dH i g hS c h o oBl a s e b aal ln dw e r eo n t h e w r e s t l i ntge a m .H ew o n s e v e r aal w a r d si n
a l o t a b o u tl i f ec h o i c etsh r o u g hd o i n gt h e s e
t h e s es p o r t sT. h e yl o o k e du p t o h i ma n dl e a r n e d
evenwhenplayingthe boardgameRiskto putt
samesportstogether.Theywerecompetitive
p u t t .T h e yh a v en o t b e e nt h e s a m es i n c et h i st r a g e d yB. o t ha r eh u r ts o m u c ha n dn o t a b l et o
o p e nu p a n dt a l ka b o u ti t . H o p e f u l loyn ed a yb o t hw i l l b e a b l et o l e t t h e i rf e e l i n gbs e k n o w n .
N e i t h ew
r e r ee m o t i o n a l layb l et o c o m et o t h i st r i a l .
a letterfrom Mensastating
personwith a lQ of 1-42and received
Forrestwasa veryintelligent
. ea p p l i e da n dw a sa c c e p t etdo a c h e m i c aeln g i n e e r i npgr o g r a mi n N o r t hC a r o l i nbau t
a ss u c h H
a f t e ro n es e m e s t edrr o p p e do u t t o p u r s u eh i sp a s s i oonf c o o k i n gH. ea p p l i e da n dw a sa c c e p t e d
t o c u l i n a rsyc h o oiln N o r t hC a r o l i n aH.ew a st o p si n h i sc l a s sa n dw o n n u m e r o uas w a r d si n
at cookingand
Forrestlovedbeinga chefandexcelled
cookingandbakingcompetitions.
C u i s i n eO. n ed a yh e c a m eh o m ew i t h t h i ss m e l l y e a s st t a r t e r
b a k i n gH. i ss p e c i a l twy a sF r e n c h
f o r m a k i n gb r e a da n dn a m e di t " d i e s e l "l .t w a st h e b e g i n n i nign g r e d i e nf ot r a l o t o f h i sa w a r d
e i sc r a f ta n dl i k e dl i v i n gh e r e .l t d i d n ' t
w i n n i n gb r e a d sH. ec a m et o S a v a n n apha r t l yt o e n h a n c h
in
takeForrestlongbeforehe got a souschefpositionat one of the betterrestaurants
chef.His
an executive
and beganmovingquicklytowardsworkingon becoming
Savannah
a n db a k i n gH. ew a s
d r e a md i dc o m et r u ea n dm a n yp e o p l eh e r ek n e wa n dl o v e dh i sc o o k i n g
let
us knowthat Forrest
people
and
contact
We'vehadnumerous
featuredin a localmagazine.
h a dt o u c h e dt h e i rl i v e si n s o m a n yw a y s .
difficultat familyfunctionssuchas birthdays,
We thinkof Forrestdailyandfind it extremely
the most.Lasttime we talkedhe was
etc.asthosewerethe timeswe cherished
holidays,
t o b e a b l et o c o m eh o m ea n dc o o kT h a n k s g i v ifnogr u s a st h e l a s tc o u p l ey e a r sh ew a s
excited
of work.He hadthe entiremealalreadyplannedout. He reallylookedforward
not ablebecause
likethis.Beinga Chef,Forrestkeptlatehoursand he wouldfrequentlycall
to familygatherings

u si n t h e e a r l ym o r n i n gh o u r st e l l i n gu so f h i sd a ya n dt h e p e o p l eh e w o u l dc o o kf o r o r m e e t .
M o s tp a r e n t sh a t et o h e a ro f c a l l sa t t h i st i m eo f t h e m o r n i n gb u tw e c h e r i s h eidt a sh e w a sf u l l
t o t e l l u so f h i sd a y .
o f l i f ea n de x c i t e d
I startcryingjust
andeverytime I get nearSavannah
We traveloftento Floridafor vacations
thinkingof Forrestandthe evilthingthat wasdoneto him here.Afterthesetrialswe cannever
visitthiscityagain.lt isjust too painful.I cryeverytime I seea chefin hisuniformaftera hard
daysworkthinkingand knowingForrestlovedit so much.We stillhavesomeof hischefs
clothea
s n da f e w t h i n g sw e j u s tc a n ' ts e e mt o l e t g o o f . M y h u s b a n dj' os b r e q u i r ehs i mt o h i r e
a n df i r ep e o p l ea n dh e o f t e nw o n d e r sw h e nh ef i r e ss o m e o n iest h i st h e k i n do f p e r s o nt h a t
w o u l dc o m eb a c ka n da t t e m p t o d o t h e s a m et h i n gt h a t h a p p e n etdo F o r r e s tl t. i s a l w a y si n t h e
b a c ko f h i sm i n d .
N o w o r d sc a ne x p r e stsh e w a yw e f e e l .O n ec o u l dn e v e ru n d e r s t a nldo s i n ga s o ni n t h i s
m a n n e rI.h a da l w a y sb e e nt h e r ef o r m y k i d sa n dI h a v es o m u c hg u i l tf o r n o t b e i n gt h e r ef o r
F o r r e sat n ds a v i n gh i mf r o mt h i se v i lc r i m e l.h u r t a n dc r yb e c a u slec a n n o ts p e a k t oh i ma n dt e l l
not
s a sa c c o m p l i s h eYdo. uj u s tc a n ' ti m a g i n e
h i m l l o v eh i ma n dt e l l o f t h e t h i n g sh i sb r o t h e r h
m
y
i
n
h
o
l
e
i
s
e
m
p
t
y
b e i n ga b l et o t a l kt o o r s e ey o u rs o ns m i l eo r l a u g he v e ra g a i nT. h e r e a
t f t h i s .W e a r e
h e a r t h a tj u s tc a n ' tb e f i l l e d I. h a v en o t b e e na b l et o s l e e pa t n i g h ta sa r e s u l o
p
e
o
p
l
e
t h a t c o m m i t t e tdh i s
c o m p a s s i o n apteeo p l eb u t t o t h i sd a yh a v eh a t r e da n da n g e rt o t h e
d n dI h a v ee x p e r i e n c emdi n o rh e a l t hi s s u eds u et o t h e h e a r t a c haen d
. y h u s b a na
e v i lc r i m e M
crime.
stressof thiseviland heartless
MikeJoneshadno rightto takethe livesof ForrestandAliceandshouldneverbe allowedto
. u rp e r c e p t i oinst h a t h e h a sn o r e m o r s feo r t h i sh e i n o u cs r i m ea n dw e r e q u e s t
l i v ef r e ea g a i nO
l i f ei n p r i s o nw i t h N Oc h a n c eo f p a r o l ea sh e d e s e r v et sh i sp u n i s h m e nf ot r t a k i n gt h e l i v e so f
F o r r e sat n dA l i c eT. h i sw a sa e v i la n dh e i n o u cs r i m et h a t h e k n o w i n g layn dw i l l i n g lcyo m m i t t e d .
H ei s a e v i lp e r s o nw i t h N Oc o m p a s s i of onr h u m a nl i f e .D u r i n gt h i st r i a l ,h e a r i n tgh a t h e b r a g g e d
a b o u tc o m m i t t i ntgh i sc r i m es h o w sh e h a sn o r e g a r da n dc o m p a s s i of onr h u m a nl i f e .
LastlyI wantto reada text Forrestsentto me on May 12,2013for MothersDay.Thisshowsthe
l o v ea n dc o m p a s s i ohne h a d .
Mom,
dy
I l o v ey o ua n dt h a n ky o uf o r t h e m o r a ls u p p o r tS, o m e t i m ej us s th e a r i n tgh a ty o uu n d e r s t a nm
givesme the strengthI needto do what I haveto do in orderto truly be
painandstruggles
g o mI k n o wI
a t a l l .T h a n ky o uf o r e v e r y t h i nm
h a p p ya n dt h a t p e r s o n ahla p p i n e si s n ' ts e l f i s h
s
t
r
e n g t thh a ty o u
g
u
i
d
a
n
c
e
a
l
l
t
h
e
a
n
d
d o n ' ts a yt h a n ky o uv e r yo f t e nb u t t h a n ky o uf o r a l lt h e
t e t h e m a nI a m t o d a yw i t h o u ty o u i n m y l i f em o m .I l o v ey o u
h a v ei n s t i l l e idn m e .I w o u l d n ' b
H a p p yM o t h e r sD a y .
Sincerely:
M a r ka n dS h e l i aB i n g h a m
of Forrestlson
Parents

Thisis probablylongerthanyou wont to hearbut I reallyhoveto soy thisbecouse

no onewantsto hear
it - no onewontsto knowhow bodlyhurt myfomilyhosbeenby Alice'smurderondhow we stillore
deeplygrievingfor her.
Thisis a pictureof my daughterAlice.Thisis the imagethat we are tryingdesperately
to keep
in mind becausethe lasttime we sawAliceshewas lyingin a casketwith her faceso misshapen
from the two bulletsfired directlyinto her headthat we did not recognize
her.
Almostthree decadesagowe got a callfrom an adoptionagencythat we were acceptedas the
a d o p t i v ep a r e n t sf o r a b i r a c i acl h i l dd u e t o b e b o r na t t h e e n d o f s u m m e r1 9 8 9 . M y h u s b a n d
and I were ecstaticaswell as our youngerson. He was 3 T, yearsold and reallywanteda baby
sister.Formonthsas we awaitedthe birth of the child,my little guywasfollowingme around
saying,"l reallywant a sister" " Do you think we couldaskthem to makesureit is a girl?" I am
tellingyou this becauseI want you to know how muchwe wantedand lovedAlicefrom the
momentwe learnedof the possibility
of her adoption.
And Aliceand her brotherwere friendsand companions
from day one. He lovedthe role of big
b r o t h e ra n ds h el o v e dh i m ,l a t e rc a l l i n gh i m h e r " h e r o . " F r o mt h e e a r l yd a y s ,h e t o o k c a r eo f
her. I usedto put Alicein a playpenwhen I wantedher to be safewhile I had somethingto do.
PrettysoonI would hear "EE-EE,EE-EE"
then the scampering
of feet and soonthere would
y
e
a
r
a p p e a rm y 4
o l d s o nh o l d i n gu p h i ss i s t e rw h o w a ss m i l i n gd e l i g h t e d l yI.w o u l ds a y , " I
wantedher to be in there for a few minutes" And he would say, "But,Mom, shewantedto
get out!" Theywere greatbuddiesas you canseehere......

Alicedied in the very earlymorningof November4,201,3.He was scheduled

to be married 5
dayslateron November9th. lt was almostpostponedbut becauseeveryonewas comingin
from out-of-town,the weddingwas held. Alicewas supposedto be a bridesmaid.Instead,she
was represented
at the weddingby a vaseof her favoriteflowers. Thatweekendwe had a
w e d d i n go n e d a ya n d a f u n e r a tl h e n e x td a y . O u rA l i c ew i t h h e r h o r r i b l yd i s t o r t e df a c ew a s
l y i n gi n t h e c a s k ew
t i t h h e r b r i d e s m a i dd' sr e s so n a n d h e r b o u q u e ti n h e r h a n d s .
Insteadof havinga honeymoonand a yearof the normaladjustmentissuesthat newlyweds
face,he and his bridehad a yearof hell. Theywere in a very darkplace- he was so sadabout
his sisterand shockedaboutthis horribleand senseless
tragedyand hiswife was desperateto
understandand helphim feel better. lt continuesto torture him that his belovedsistercould
be killedwith no more thoughtthan one givesto swattinga peskymosquito.He hasbeenleft
with emotionalscarsand physicalissues.
Theiranniversaries
will foreverbe tingedwith sadness
a b o u tA l i c e .
M y e l d e rs o nw a s2 0 y e a r so l d e rt h a nA l i c eb u t w a sh a p p yw h e ns h ej o i n e do u r f a m i l y .W h e n
we visitedhim at college,he hadgreatfun pushingher in the stroller- and he calledher the
"Chickmagnet"becauseall the girlswould comeover and "oo and ahh" over her. When he had
his own family,he lovedseeinghow Alicehad so muchfun playingwith hisyoungchildren. He

hasbeentormentedby visionsof Alicelyingthere with bulletholesin her headand with the

s h o c kt h a t s u c he v i lc o u l ds t r i k eh i sf a m i l y .H e h a st h e s a v i n ga b i l i t yt o b e a b l et o
compartmentalize
so he purposelydivertshis energyto his work or familybut I wonderwhat
the unshedtearsand unspokengriefare doingto his heartand bloodpressureand his psyche.
My husbandlovedhisthree sonsbut he wasthrilledthat he now had a daughterwhen Alice
w a sb o r n . T h e r et r u l y i s s o m e t h i n g
s p e c i aal b o u tt h e f a t h e r - d a u g h t e
r er l a t i o n s h iapn dA l i c es o
l o v e dh e r d a d . M y h u s b a n dh a d m u l t i p l eh e a l t hp r o b l e m sa n d h e h a ds u r v i v e dl i f e - t h r e a t e n i n g
medicalcrisison severaloccasions.He nevercriedfor himselfduringhisthree cancer
d i a g n o s i sh,i sp a i n f utl r e a t m e n t sa n d p r o c e d u r e sh,i sh o s p i t a l i z a t i ofnosr p n e u m o n i a
butat
Alice'sfuneralservicehe was sobbing- which I had neverseenbeforein the 30 yearswe had
beenmarried- and grippingmy handso tightlyI thoughtit would break.After her death,he
becamequieterand more withdrawnand there was an awfulsadness
that neverleft hiseyes.
SixmonthsafterAlicewas so viciouslymurdered,my husbandwas admittedto the hospital
with a medicalemergency.In the pasthe would haveand did fight againand againto regain
his healthno matterhow difficultthe struggle. Duringthat hospitalization
in April,2014he
w a st i r e d ,d e p r e s s e da,n d d i s h e a r t e n eadn ds i m p l yd i d n o t h a v et h e w i l l t o l i v e . T h ed o c t o r s
m a yt h i n kt h a t h e d i e df r o m h i sm e d i c apl r o b l e m sb u t I k n o wh i sb r o k e nh e a r tw a sa
contributingfactor.
The impactof Alice'sdeathhasaffectedeverymemberof this family. My youngergrandson
may be too littleto feel the griefbut he wonderswhy his Daddyis sadsometimes.He keeps
a s k i n g",W h e r ei s A u n tA l i c e ? " H e s a wh e r o n e t i m e a n dt h e n n e v e ra g a i n . T e l lm e h o w t o
answera 5 yearold'squestion,"Why was shekilled?"
I havetwo teenagegrandsons
who are goingthroughthe adolescent
tasksof tryingto figure
out who they are,what they want from life,what they value. Theyrememberand honortheir
aunt by wearingher jerseynumberin the varioussportsthey are involvedin. Theyare bright,
sensitiveboysand now they are alsodealingwith the lossand tragedyof the viciousmurderof
their aunt. Theirinnocencehasbeendestroyedby this senseless,
evilact. Do they seea bright
future for themselves
or do they wonder"what is the point?"when you get killedfor doing
absolutelynothingas Alicewas.
A s f o r m e , I a m a b r o k e nw o m a n .- e m o t i o n a l l yp,h y s i c a l l sy p
, i r i t u a l l ya,n d m e n t a l l y . I n s p i t e
of therapy,meditation,medication,spiritualcounseling,
and prayers,a cripplingsadness
remains.
Let me tell you abouta day in the life of a grievingmother. lt is difficultto get out of bed in the
m o r n i n g- | w o u l dr a t h e rs l e e pa l l d a y . I k n e wt h i sw a sn o t h e a l t h ys o I a d o p t e da d o g a b o u ta
yearago. Thatway I would haveto get up to walk it and out of the houseseveraltimesa day. I
w a n t e da n o l d d o g s i n c eI d i d n ' tt h i n kI c o u l dk e e pu p w i t h a p u p p y .T h ed o gt h a t a p p e a l e tdo
m e w a sa t i n y C h i h u a h u-ao v e r L 2 y e a r so l d a t t h e t i m e ,b l i n di n o n e e y e ,h a r do f h e a r i n gn, o
teeth,and with liverproblems....just
my speed. He haskept me goingbut eventhis is so

bittersweetfor me becausethat isjust the kindof dog that Alicewould havelovedand

c h e r i s h e dI. h a v es u c hf o n d m e m o r i e so f h e r a sa s m a l lc h i l dc u d d l i n gb a b yc h i c k sa n dg o a t sa t
my aunt'sfarm and she lovedall dogsand cats- the more needyand handicapped
they were,
t h e m o r es h el o v e dt h e m .
I went to the grocerystoreand startedcryingwhen I saw a jar of coconutoil - Aliceusedto
raveaboutcoconutoil evenbeforeit becameso popular.
I come hometo a housefilledwith picturesof a smilingAlicewith her family,with the fun
giftsshegaveus,the artworkshecreated.
imaginative
I can barelyhandlesocialsituations.lt is difficultto meet new peopleand I cannotbe in groups
wherethere is a lot of laughter.I cannot be aroundlightheartedpeopleand eventswhen my
heartis so sadand heavy. I am fortunateto havea few friendswho understandthat I may
b e c o m es a ds u d d e n l a
y n d n e e dt o l e a v ea b r u p t l yo r t h a t I t o t a l l ya v o i dt h e i rg a t h e r i n g s .
At night,I go to sleepcryingor I wake up with nightmaresrelivingthe horrorAlicemust have
f e l t w h e ns h es a wt h e g u n p o i n t e da t h e r ,o f h e r l y i n gt h e r ew i t h t w o b u l l e th o l e si n h e r h e a d ,
o f h e r g o i n gt o t h e h o s p i t aal sa J a n eD o ea n d l y i n gi n t h e m o r g u eu n k n o w n ,o f h e r d y i n ga l o n e .
I knowthat Alicewas not perfectand our relationship
was stormyat times. lt remindsme of a
bookwritten in 2002aboutadolescent
behavior"Get out of my life but first couldyou giveme
and Cheryla ride to the mall?"lt comfortsme to rememberhow shewantedme to movenear
h e r w h e n m y h u s b a n dd i e d .
Besidemissingher and beingphysically
sickaboutthe horrible,unprovokedviolenceshe
e x p e r i e n c e dI a, m s o u p s e ts h en e v e rh a dt h e o p p o r t u n i t tyo a c h i e v eh e r g o a l s .S h eh a ds o
m a n yt a l e n t sa n d w e w i l l n e v e rk n o ww h a t s h ec o u l dh a v ea c c o m p l i s h e dH.e rp a r t i c u l atra l e n t
l a y i n w o r k i n gw i t h y o u n ga t - r i s kc h i l d r e n .W h i l ei n c o l l e g es, h ew a sa c o u n s e l o r
a n dp a s s i o n
f o r t h r e es u m m e r sa t a n e n r i c h m e nct a m pf o r t h e s ec h i l d r e na n dt h e c a m pl e a d e r s a i ds h ew a s
likethe "pied piper". Theytold me how well sheworkedwith the childrenand how they loved
and listenedto her. Sheevenestablished
a relationship
with an autisticchildthere. Aliceoften
told me that shefelt luckyto havethe familyshedid and shewantedto helpotherswho did
n o t h a v et h e s a m ea d v a n t a g e sS. h ew a sc o m p a s s i o n aat en d l o y a la n d h a da w a r m a n d
generoun
s a t u r e . S om a n yp e o p l eh a v et o l d u s h o w k i n da n d f r i e n d l ys h ew a s . H o wc a nI e v e r
acceptthat this good humanbeing,my daughter,diedfor no reasonat all?
l t h a sb e e n2 l r y e a r ss i n c eh e r m u r d e ra n d I w i s hI c o u l dt e l l y o ut h a t m y d a y sa r e b e t t e r ,t h a t
m e m o r i e sa r e l e s sp a i n f u lt;h a t I a m h e a l i n g. . . b u tI f e e lw o r s et h a n e v e r . I a m n o l o n g e rn u m b
o r i n s h o c k . T h e r e a l i t yh a ss e t i n a n d e a c hd a yi s t o r t u r e . I t h i n kI h a v eb e e nh o l d i n gt h i n g s
togetherso that I canseeAlice'smurdererscaughtand convictedbut now I reallyseeno
future. I haveto keepremindingmyselfof the blessings
in my life. I havetwo sonswho I love
and who loveme, four grandsons,
and somesupportivefriends.But evenas I enjoyfun times
with them, my hearthurtsand my eyesfill with tearsthinkingthat Alicewill neverexperience

thesegoodtimeswith thoseof us who loveher and I rememberthe fun timeswe did have
together. I cry at weddingsthinkinghow beautifulAlicewould havelookedon her wedding
day. Thescripturereadingsat Churchmakeme cry becausethey talk of God'sgoodnessand I
s e en o g o o d n e sisn m y d a u g h t e r 'dse a t h .W h e nI s e ea f r i e n dh o l dh e r d a u g h t e r 'bs a b y ,I t h i n k
that Alicewill neverhavethat and I will neversharethat specialmother-daughterbonding
experience
over her child. lt is a struggleto get througheachand everyday.
A l i c ei s t h e o n e w h o d i e db u t m y w h o l ef a m i l ya n d I h a v eb e e nw o u n d e da n dw i l l n e v e rb e t h e
PLEASE
do not let himdo thisto anotherfamily.
same. PLEASE,