MAD002

TALES
TED 10 DRIVE W U
TERROR DEPT.: THERE ARE MANY THINGS GOING ON IN THE WORLD THAT ARE VERY STRANGE... THAT
HAVE NO EXPLANATION/ MANY THINGS IN MANY PHASES OF LIFE... EVEN IN THE GAME OF B A S E BALL/ THERE ARE THE SUPERSTITIONS, THE BELIEFS IN THE UNNATURAL, THE BELIEFS IN THE...
- ^ ^ ^ c r QJi^mUDjnQMm kbtm
I'M SORRY, LEO/1

JUST ISN'T
MY
GUESS
PAY/
SORRY, HE
SAYS/SORRY/
WE PRACTICALLY GOT THE
PENNANT IN OUR POCKETS...
TWO PLAYOFF GAMES
TIED... THE FINAL GAME...
WOT HAPPENS/
THIS
...I'LL TELL YOU WHAT

HAPPENS... MY PITCHERS
SUDDENLY CAN THROW FAT
PITCHES, WILD PITCHES.'
THE OTHER TEAM STEALS
BASES ON US, CATCHES
US NAPPING... AND MY
6IG TIME CLEANUP MAN
CAN'T CLEAN BEANS...
AN' FURTHERMORE...
A A H / I PON'T
KNOW WHAT5A
MATTER WITH
M E , yeeet.'
i
CAN'T SEEM TO
suy A HIT/
you
MIGHT
BE
HEXEP,
CASEY/ P I P
yUH TOUCH
2NP BASE ON
>OUR WAY OUT*
NINE
RUNS
BEHINP...
AN'yAKfTTy
AAAAH/
PON'T GIVE
M E ANy OF.
THAT
SUPERSTITION
STUFF, YEGOi!
MAYBE yUH
TOOK PUHLAST
BAT (N OUH
RACK! B A P
LUCK TO USE
LAST BAT IN
PACK/
HERE, CASEY/
HERE'S A
GOOP LUCK
C H A R M / IT'LL
BRING yUH
LUCK/
A A A H . . . WELL,
THANKS, YEGGI /
... IF ANYTHING
IS GIVING M l
B A P LUCK,,
IT'S
HER/
YAtacery
YAK
YAK
YAK.'
YAK YAK yK
)&&&&&
WHOZAT, \ THAT OLP PAME lid THE

.
CASEY? ) CENTERFIELP
BLEACHERS/
EVERY GAME, THAT Ol' P A M E
SITS AN' LOOKS AT M E / A
REGULAR GIRL FRIENP/
|-":SS
OOH/ PAT'S...
PAT'S VUH
EVIL EYE/ ,
SHE'S GIVIN'
you PUH .
WHAMMY/
EH, YOU
BEEN REAP/N'
T O O MANY
COMIC BOOKS,'
YEGGI/ LET'S
PLAY BALL.'
Wm
\w*w
H M F / YEGGI SURE IS
SUPERSTITIOUS / THAT O L '
PAME IS PROBABLY M A P L y
IN LOVE WITH ME.'...
OOP/
HERE COMES
ONE
MY
WAY/
IT'S G O I N ' BACK INTO THE

BLEACHERS...
BACK..0&CK...
i&.
>C
S5y'l)nooP!f YAMAHA t
STICKS
<A PACT IN BLOOD'

' yoU BBLOHG TO ME
...NOW LISTEN, CASEY/THIS

IS
IT.' LAST OF THE NINTH
INNING..
TWO MEN DOWN... NO MAN ON
BASE... WE NEED A RALLY, BOY/
A RALLY/GO
OUT THERE, BOY/
SHOW ME THE OL'CLUTCH
HITTIN' CASEY I USEP TO
KNOW, BOY/ CSOe)
GO
HIT A NOME RUN FER
OL'
LEO/
SOMETHING'S HAPPENED/ THE BALL

HAS HOPPED AWAY FROM PEEWEE'S
GLOVEf THIS OLD ANNOUNCER'S
EYES MUST BE GOING BAP*
WELL, LAPIE5 A N P GENTLEMEN.' LOOKS LIKE THE

BALL G A M E IS JUST ABOUT OVEfZ.' SPECTATORS'RE
BEGINNING TO L E A V E / CASEY'S cTOMIN' U P
TO B A T / HEME'S THE WINPUP... THE
PITCH...
IT LOOKS LIKE THE

SWEAT SOX ARE
RALLYING.'
y&5f
BORRA
BELTS
HEKE ~"\ HERE'5 ) HERE.7 F " " " ^ I PON'T WANT

YOU ARE-) MY - ^ ^
. V HERE... ) yOUK AUTOAUTO- fHERE t f c , _ ! / GfcAPH, CASEY.'
GRAPH.' J yOU JFZ.-%
1 WANT YOUf
ARE/ J W 7
A/O MORE
AUTOGRAPHS
70PAY/
nee H&
NO MORE, )NOBODY )
I5A,P
Gip-
-'riSS&'SPAPPA
WHEW
) AT LAST/ Y ALONE ^ |
I'M ALONE J AT LAST
IN MY d ^ L O N E HOTEL
ROOM/
THE PACT* I'VE

COME TO FULFILL
THE PACT/ THE
PACT WEMAPE
M BLOOP/
I TELL YA,LEOf
I HOIP A HORRIBLE
SHRIEK IN CASEY'S
ROOM.'A
HORRIBLE
PH
THE W/NPOWf
^ ^
WtfEJUMPEP/
f ^ b i ^ K 3 5 ^ HOWCOULP
jfflfc. J ^ g S ^ g HE OO THIS
^m /
Wl
4.
<l
^\
<y%^
VI '' II .^H^k,
/ '' 1 rikf*
S^^^LkJiiH
HE PIP'N
LANP AT
TALL/ HEHE ...
HOO.
WHERE, UP THERE*
WHERE? WHERE *
UP THERE* WHERE7
WHAT? WHO/ WHO/
HOW/
JUN6LB DBPT.: AfR/CA/wilO...UH7AfAED LAND WHERE TIME STANDS TANGLED IN THE JUNGLE 'AFRSCAL. HOME
OF THE FIERCE GMOWGLI PYGMIES... THE TERRIBLE NGAMBWALI CANNIBALS, AND THE HORRIBLE OOKA8ALLAKONGA
HEAD HUNTERS /ALSO, HOME OF THE JUNGLE APEMAN AN APEMAN NAMED.*. , , / i A ) v A ^ / y , & /
HEY, MELVIN OF APESf

HERE. ME COME/
HERB COME BOY/
HO.' AT LAST AFTER MUCH SWINGING

SWIFTLY O'ER AERIAL SKYWAY IN TREETOPS, ME COME IN SIGHT O F JUNGLE
HOUSE WHERE JANE WAITS.'
WHAT FOR
SUPPER ?
/WY\/V\.' CHOPPED
J A M B O LEAVES
AN HOMINY
GRITS/
Moooo
-^VAAAA
PEN WE GIVE YOU SIFTS.'

VOODOO POLL YOU CAN
STICK PINS IN / KEEP YOU
MATE IN LINE.'
On a quiet stretch of meadowland in the midwest, a lonely steel tower reaches into the
ether and pulls radio waves into the generator
housed at its base. Then it sends the waves,
now nourished and revitalized, out into space
again to continue on their coast-to-coast
journey.
One day, things went awry at this small but
important transmitter. President F. M. Wavelength, the big chime of the Irrational Broadcasting System, called an emergency Board
of Directors meeting.
"Gentlemen! I don't have to tell you why
you are here! Just turn on the radio and you'll
hear jumbled programs. H. V. Kettledrum,
news analyst . . . Martin Cohen, private eye
. . . and Mr. Trace, Loser of Keen Persons, are
all working on the same case apparently. Jock
Beanny appears to be playing first violin on
the Boston Synphony broadcast! Actually,
some unknown force, within the radius of one
of our midwestern powerhouses, is jamming
all the networks together! W e have resorted
to every known mechanical contrivance to detect the source of the interference, but to no
avail!
"Therefore, I have called in an old schoolchum of mine, Prof. Cosmo McMoon, to solve
this mystery. The professor and I went to Common Knowledge College together where I was
captain of the Ail-American Tiddly-Winks
Team. He played a very solid Left Tiddle!"
Just then, Prof. McMoon entered. Taking
off his pith helmet, he addressed his old schoolmate. "Got your call, F. M.! I was spending a
bit of a vacation at Lake Indian-name-to-endall-Indian-named-lakes, in exclusive Westchester County. I hate to admit it, but I was
about to be tossed out anyway! They discovered a knothole in my polo mallet. A breach
of social etiquette if there ever was one!"
"Have you heard my new song, I ' l l take
you home again, Kathleen the last three

cocktails turned you green!'? Or would you
rather hear my theories on why the Missing
Link is still missing?"
Prof. McMoon and F. M. arrived by plane

at the site of the berserk transmitter. As Cosmo
began his investigations in the vicinity, the
oscillator in his bow tie started to blink and
light up! He was hot on the trail!
The signals became strongest when he approached a little hut, tucked away in the
woods, not far from the tower.
The door of the humble abode was opened
by Walla-Walla Bazinski, a poor but honest
farmer. He invited the two men into the plain
interior. He introduced his wife, Mrs. Crotonon-the-Hudson Bazinski. On her lap sat ten
month old Baden-Baden Bazinski. Music
wafted through the room. The Bazinskis were
too poor to own a radio, but the sound emanated from their little son's mouth!
"Incredible," cried Cosmo! "This little
cherub is a human generator! He opens his
mouth and his teeth act as a positive attractor
of radio waves. His tongue acts as a conductor
of electricity while his teeth are like the pushbutton station selectors on a radio. He has
merely to run his tongue along his teeth to
change from station to station!"
"Yes, and he doesn't take long to warm up
like them hand-made radios!", offered WallaWalla.
Now that the cause of the radio-wave jumbling was unearthed, Mr. F. M. Wavelength
paid Mr. Bazinski $100,000 to have little
B.B.'s baby teeth extracted. This done, stations
only carried one program at a time as before.
Oh, yes!! The happy Bazinskis are now living in the heart of New York . . . near Radio
City! They are waiting anxiously for their
little boy's second set of teeth to cut gum!
SCIENCE-FICTION DEFT.: MIGHTf A MIGHTY, GLEAMING SPACE-SHIP SWOOPS GRACEFULLY OUT OF THE
STARRY SKY MAKING A GENTLE LANDING ON THE NEVADA SANDS/ INSIDE, 61ARF NERFNICK,>HA*rcAAf,
SITS, SHAKING AND HAGGARD FROM HIS ESCAPE FROM T H E . . ,
60SH.*A
ROCKBT
SHIP/
HO-HUM/AS IN MOST SCIENCEFICTION STORIES, I HAVE AN

AUTOMATIC TRANSLATOR
MACHINE THAT WILL ENABLE
US TO CONVERSE.' BUT I ' M
HUNGRY/ SHALL WE EAT?
A A A H / THIS IS BETTER.' IF YOU REPORTERS WILL

EXCUSE M E , I ' L L TELL YOU M Y S T O R Y WHILE
I E A T / W A I T E R / LET M E HAVE S O M E STEWEP
HOMINY GRITS AN' FRIEP JAMBO
LEAVES.'
COME, LITTLE (SLARF/ IT I S

TIME TO TELL YOU THE FACTS
O F L I F E . . . TO TELL YOU O F
THE GREAT
WALL/
MY STORY STARTS A S A HAPPY YOUTH, STROLLINGALON6 THE &OWANUSGLARF CANAL IN THE LITTLE
MARTIAN CITY O F BROOKLYN GLARF
WITH
ANP SO... I LIVEP IN THE LITTLE CITY O F

BROOKLYNGLARF ON THE GOWANUSGLARF CANAL-'
A S I GREW INTO M A N H O O P , I PECIPEP TO
B E A PHYSICIST.'
3Sf,
2 PLUS O N E . . . T PON'T FORGET

MOVE THE
A THE X-FACTOR.'
DECIMAL
^ %*
-^
POINT.
A MINUS THE
"^j0W
SQUARE ROOT/
:OUALS ZlBBEN
E=MCz T ^ l
y ^ ) \ UNP TZVONTZIK/
A T ^ c* !
m$M ^
ff*f^$L
/^l
i^sWs^
r^v?
r^\ 'A .
^^0^1
fm1 iK^** Vu
u
V*
^zMJtji
Wrmv^<li*fi*
'
^Sx
ifi^y^f^W^
X"^
^ L ^ ^ /
&-iy
WKt^jj
JR-^ J
^ _ ^ - ^ V \ ,<^ N:
r> "
...BEING A PARTICULARLY BRILLIANT STUPENT,

INTERESTED IN THE FUTURE WELFARE O F /V\Y
PLANET, 1 PEVOTEP ALL W TIME TO PERFECTING A
ROCKETSHIP THAT WOULP GET ME THE HECK.
OUTTA THERE IN CASE THE GOOKUM
CLIMBEP
THE GREAT
WALL.'
...THE GOOKUM WAS BEGINNING TO SWRj.~yES!THE^S.MOVEP

ANP BEAT AGAINST THE SECRET
VAST SHIMMERING PINK POOLS OF SHINY GOOKUN\
INSULATION OF THE GREAT WALL !AN0
SOMEHOW BEGAN TO THROB ANP QUIVER... BEGAN
HOW... A TEENCHY WEENCHY PIECE OF
TO MOVE IN A GREAT SUMY
GLOB...
THE GOOKUM
FEEPS ON
ANYTHING
ORGANIC.'
LOOK1
AH, yes/... SOON THIS, GULPING, SLOBBERING-,

GLOBBEKIUG <SOOKU/V\ HAP SWALLOWEP UP
EVERYTHING
BUT MY
INSULATEP
LABORATORY/
LOOK AT THAT 600KUM,

BATING
EVERyTHlNG ORGANIC IN THE
L A B O R A T O R Y / I MUST
FINISH
MY
ROCKETSHlPf
THERE I WORKEP FEVERISHLY, PUTTING THE

FINISHING- TOUCHES ON MY OWN ROCKET'
SHIP! BUI AS I WORKEP, A TEENCHY WBBNCHY
KEENCHY BENCHV
PIECE OP GOOKUM
SQUEEZEP THROUGH THE KEYHOLE,'
L O O K HOW IT CIRCLES M Y
INSULATED PLATFORM / IT'S
THINKING... FIGURING OUT

A WAY TO GET AT ME/
...ANP THEN IT WILL LIE IN FLAT

PINK SHIMMERING POOLS,
*
INNOCENT A S A OUIET PONP
O F WATER... N E V E R T H E L E S S . . . .
SINISTER DORMANT
GOOKUMJ
YES, GENTLEMEN/ 1
ESCAPED FROM THE GOOKUflft
ON M A R S ONLY BY THE
BAPEST BIT O F
SHEER LUCK.'
BUT, WHY TALK OF THAT/ HERE

I A M , EATING A FINE EARTH IAN
MEAL-/... I SHALL L A U G H , / M
/ / * , ANC7 BE HAPPY J THE
600KUM
IS OUT OF M Y
73IM7:.. HOW- YOil-CAU

IT.. CHERRY JELLO
PARFAITJ HOW #
CALL IT IH
MARS
IS...
PPCmANT
GOOKUM'
*BK
/M\
*'fi$F*K
"j*
u
*
CRIME PEPT./ALL
you our THERE WHO ASPIRE TO BE CRIMINALS ...you WHO FOLLOW THE PATHS OP
EVIL/ THIS STORY IS FOR YOU.'.THE. STORY OF A FELLOW WHO DUO HIS WAV WTO BANK VAULTS...
WHO 006 HIS WAY OUT OF JAILS... AND WHO WOUND UP IN THE ELECTRIC CHAIR .'...FELLOW BY NAME OF MELVIN
pr
^IPMB
vot
KM
HEEH.'
NOW UNPEK
PUH VAULT!
i nn IB1. 1
lil
7/6/
1,
tot
10 (
I0
Is i l e i
^1 '-^M/ C
GOLF
BAGS
GO
BA
MOLEf'PON
MY SOLE/ YEW... HAVE...
PUG... YOUR... LAST... HOlCf
WE'RE
PUTTING YOU IN SOLITARY
YOU SLIPPERY LITTLE RAT/

yOU USED YOUR LUNCH SPOON
TO DIG OUT OF THE LAST CEIL,
BUT YOU WON'T PO IT
AGAIN*
WE'RE GOING- TO PUT YOU (N

THIS COMPLETELY BARE CELL
WITHOUT A SINGLE OBJECT
TO V\G WITH.'
WE'VE TAKEN ALL YOUR CLOTHES

THAT HAVE BUTTONS/ WE'VE
CLIPPED yOUR FINGER AND TOE
NAILS, AND WE'VE TAKEN YOUR.
FALSE TEETH/ NOW LEI'S
ANP THAT'S THE STORY/...THE STORY OF MELVIN MOLEJHE

...THE FELLOW WHO HZM>ZV STRAIGHT
FOR THE ELECTRIC CHAIR*

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TALES

I'M SORRY, LEO/1

...I'LL TELL YOU WHAT

WHOZAT, \ THAT OLP PAME lid THE

IT'S G O I N ' BACK INTO THE

<A PACT IN BLOOD'

...NOW LISTEN, CASEY/THIS

SOMETHING'S HAPPENED/ THE BALL

WELL, LAPIE5 A N P GENTLEMEN.' LOOKS LIKE THE

IT LOOKS LIKE THE

HEKE ~"\ HERE'5 ) HERE.7 F " " " ^ I PON'T WANT

THE PACT* I'VE

HEY, MELVIN OF APESf

HO.' AT LAST AFTER MUCH SWINGING

PEN WE GIVE YOU SIFTS.'

you home again, Kathleen the last three

Prof. McMoon and F. M. arrived by plane

HO-HUM/AS IN MOST SCIENCEFICTION STORIES, I HAVE AN

A A A H / THIS IS BETTER.' IF YOU REPORTERS WILL

COME, LITTLE (SLARF/ IT I S

ANP SO... I LIVEP IN THE LITTLE CITY O F

2 PLUS O N E . . . T PON'T FORGET

...BEING A PARTICULARLY BRILLIANT STUPENT,

...THE GOOKUM WAS BEGINNING TO SWRj.~yES!THE^S.MOVEP

AH, yes/... SOON THIS, GULPING, SLOBBERING-,

LOOK AT THAT 600KUM,

THERE I WORKEP FEVERISHLY, PUTTING THE

THINKING... FIGURING OUT

...ANP THEN IT WILL LIE IN FLAT

BUT, WHY TALK OF THAT/ HERE

73IM7:.. HOW- YOil-CAU

YOU SLIPPERY LITTLE RAT/

WE'RE GOING- TO PUT YOU (N

WE'VE TAKEN ALL YOUR CLOTHES

ANP THAT'S THE STORY/...THE STORY OF MELVIN MOLEJHE

FOR THE ELECTRIC CHAIR*

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