Myactualstory

SAMANTHA M.
AMIRKHIZI
NOVEMBER 28, 2016
True Stories
Stories about my journey into the community and those close to me.
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pride
Like many of us, I have struggled with my

identity my whole life. I have questioned my
sexuality for years and even before that, I
questioned my gender. Growing up in a
Conservative Christian home does not allow for
much exploration into the LGBT community. So
instead of finding out who I was early on, I
suppressed my feelings and hoped they would
just fade away with time. And thats what the
lot of us do, we hide, we suppress, and we hope
those feelings leave us. Or we try to act out in a
way in which others would not be able to tell
our true identities. Males try to be hypermasculine, using sports and sex to seem as
though they are straight. Ive had those friends.
One in particular was my middle school and
high school friend, Skylar.
Now Skylar acted as an

alpha-male type. He
was always picking
fights, trying to prove
his masculinity to the
other boys in my
middle and high
school. He only took
interest in things that
would be considered
masculine, such as
guitar, sports, and
drugs. However, this
masculine facade was
only covering his true
identity, Mary Jane.
Yes, the big, tough
Skylar truly wanted to
1
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Talk to?
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Call the number
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visit their site
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LOREM IPSUM
NOVEMBER 28, 2016
be a girl. He came to me first to talk about it, in

the 10th grade. I was shocked, very shocked.
Due in part to him trying to ask me out just
moments before. Anyways, Skylar, now Mary
Jane, started to come to school dressed in
hyper-feminine clothing. It was incredible to me
how much courage she had, and she lost a lot
of her hyper-masculine friends because of it.
She was shamed on multiple social media
accounts and bullied by her supposed friends at
school. However, she did not let any of these
events stop her from who she felt she was. Mary
Janes courage to become who she had
suppressed for all these years lit a small spark
in me to begin to journey of finding out my
sexual orientation.
end, at the most random times. They started

looking through his phone, his room, and even
his backpack for anything. My parents stayed
up nights praying that he wasnt gay, my mom
usually cried herself to sleep during those
times. After having to suffer through the guilt
tripping of my parents, Marek finally
approached them about the situation and told
them he was straight. He explained that he just
wasnt interested in sports or other hypermasculine activities. After that ordeal, however,
I knew I could never come out to my parents.
They would never accept me for who I was, and
it would always be in the back of their minds,
that small amount of dislike for me. Thus, I go
on to being myself. Allowing ally my colors to
show through when I leave my home but once
inside I have to mask and suppress all over
again. Its tiring really. And being in a Queer
Studies class hasnt helped my case much, since
they seem to be very suspicious of that.
My journey had so many hills and valleys and

stops along the way I just kept questioning
everything. I questioned everything I had ever
felt or liked. I pushed myself away, I clung on,
and let go. I was a mess for so long. I really did
not want to believe that I was who I felt I was. I
did not want to believe I was bisexual. The
thought of even liking girls scared me. I was
scared because I knew I could never tell my
parents and if they found out, what would they
say? What would they do? I had an insight to
what mightve happened if I had ever come out
to them and that was when they had suspicions
about my little brother. My little brother, Marek,
has always had what are considered to be
feminine interests. From a young age, he fell in
love with art, theatre, and dance. Due to these
interests, he was bullied and still continues to
be harassed as a sophomore at Taft Charter
High School. My parents caught on to the
bullying, and the stereotypical image of what
gay looks like, and started assuming things
about Marek. They questioned him for days on
2

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SAMANTHA M.

NOVEMBER 28, 2016

CSUN has its own

Like many of us, I have struggled with my

Now Skylar acted as an

The Trevor Project is

NOVEMBER 28, 2016

be a girl. He came to me first to talk about it, in

end, at the most random times. They started

My journey had so many hills and valleys and

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