Rapunzel The Real Story

Rapunzel
(The real story)

You should all know the story of Rapunzel or at least you think you do,
but if you don’t, it is good that your mind hasn’t been corrupted by the
lies everyone have told. The real story doesn’t deal with an evil, ugly
witch and a young, beautiful girl who is trapped in a tower by the witch.
If anything it is completely backwards. Well since you are obviously not
too bright and not caught up on current times, I will tell you the whole
story.
Okay, it all started a while back when I was a young beautiful adult. I
had just started my new job as wizard intern where every day I
learned a new spell. I was just starting to get used to my new boss and
co workers when the new guy came up to me and told me he needed to
talk to me. I followed him to the janitor’s closet and he broke down
crying.
I was barely able to make out what he was saying, as he sobbed, “I

didn’t mean to do it! It just happened! One night we got a little crazy
and tipsy and now she’s pregnant! What am I going to do? I can’t
support her and a baby!”
I know what you thinking, “Why can’t he make the baby just
disappear?” Come on people, not everyone has magical powers and using
magic for that is wrong.
When he finally stopped blubbering he looked up at me and begged,

“Will you take the baby? My wife and I know that you are financially
secure and can support a baby and don’t try to say you aren’t. Will you
please do this for us, if not for us, the poor innocent baby?”
At that time all I could do was stare and before I knew it, his wife
handed me the baby and left the room. He kind of forgot to mention
that they had already had the baby. Never the less, I decided to name
her Rapunzel, because that’s what I had for lunch Hey you lose
creativity when you’re stressed and in a situation like that.
The years went by super fast and apparently I made some bad
choices. One of those choices was buying that patented “Broom 2000”
with Microsoft Sync ® and a lifetime warranty which, by the way, took
over 5 and a half years to pay off. With all that money gone, and a few
late payments, I had to down size my castle to one of those newer, yet
less expensive, modular castles. However, given my low credit rating I
was told I would have to buy my castle in parts.
The first piece of my new castle arrived April 2nd. It was the super
tall tower piece, along with the base foundation. The only problem was
it only had one room and no ways of getting up there. I decided since I
loved my daughter so much that I decided to give her the room and let
her live up there and I will supply everything for her. With me doing
this that meant I had to live on the ground and down to nature except
I used my powers when I needed them.
Before I knew it my little girl was a hormone ticking bomb, whose time
had come to go to the prom. I didn’t want her to go with the “pimping”
prince who had been with every girl in the kingdom. However, that is
who she wanted to take her on her special night. So, I spent the rest
of my money on one of the most expensive dresses at Wally World.
Throw in some shoes and a makeover, including blonde hair extensions,
and I was broke until my next paycheck. Those extensions were so long
that she could use them as a ladder to reach the top of the castle.
Trust me, using those extensions to help scale the walls of that tower
would be much easier than using the holes I had the builder install on
the outside of the wall.
The prom finally came and it took all of my self control not to kill the
pimping prince when he came to pick her up. He looked like a freaking
idiot in a shirt that was so tight he couldn’t close it all the way and
pants so low you could clearly see his royal not so “tighty whities”. To
this day I still can’t see why she was ever attracted to that piece of
royal trash, but I figured it was just my older age and still let her go.
Big Mistake! She came home from the dance the very next morning
with the prince right behind her saying stuff like “I want to marry your
daughter!” and “I can’t live another day with her!” I simply refused to
have my daughter marry a “want-a-be player”. I used my “over priced”
broom to scoop her off the ground and take her safely up to the tower.
Come to think of it I don’t know why I didn’t use that to get up there.
Oh well, I never said I was the brightest witch!
Any way, Miss Rapunzel didn’t appreciate that and started to throw a
temper tantrum and started throwing licks. Well I am no parent who is
going to stand for anything like that. I’m not like the parents on super
godmother who want to be friends with their children, you’re going to
respect me, so I slapped her right across the face and she fell down
onto the floor. You think that after that she would straighten up but
she didn’t and started screaming again. Now the wizard academy never
said I couldn’t use my powers to punish my own child and even if they
did that wouldn’t have stopped me then.
With the simple snap of my fingers she flew out the window and was
levitating above the ground. I said she could keep sassing me all the
way to the ground or she could apologize and I would go easy on her but
she only had to the count of three. I was saying two when I decided to
drop her little bit to speed up her answer. She apologized as soon as
she dropped a half of a third of a quarter of a centimeter. I brought
her back in the room, did some punishing, and took all of her extensions
out Not a very good idea if you’re not a professional. After a good
stern talking to her I left.
I went to my little bush and slept pretty well. When I woke up I

wanted to make my daughter a great big breakfast and go for a walk
because I felt like I had been a little harsh. But when I got up there
she was gone and there was a note. The note said:
Dear Mother,
I love you, but I also love Princy. I am committed to him and him to
me. We are going to Los Vegasdom to get married and will come back
when you have calmed down.
Love, Rapunzel
P.S. I’m pregnant and you’re going to be a grandma and Princy is going
to be back later to get my things. Don’t kill him if you love me!
As soon as I read the last bit of the note there was prince at the
bottom of the tower and started saying he need Rapunzels things. I
started levitating things in the room and tossing things at the ground
out of the room. I think I heard some bones break and some piercing
screams but nothing to bad.
The last thing I was going to throw out was Rapunzel’s dirty goldfish
bowl with the half dead fish in it. That girl couldn’t keep that thing
clean to save her life. When I threw it out the window I heard the
prince scream out in pain and yell, “My contacts! My contacts, you got
them wet and I can’t see.” I really didn’t care because I didn’t kill him.
Ignoring him I started to furnish my new room.
In the original story they said they wandered for years without each
other. Actually it was about 7 days. The prince hitchhiked his way to
los Vegasdom and Rapunzel met him with his extra pair of contacts.
When my daughter found out what I did she called defax and reported
me to be abusive and made up all those lies about me and how I framed
her parents. With her being 17 and not able to live by herself they
believed her and arrested me. So here I am in correctional prison with
my bunk mate, let’s call her Queenie, who was wrongly accused of
trying to poison her daughter with an apple. I feel like us wrongly
accused mothers should ban together and let the world know the true
stories, but Queenie doesn’t want to talk about it, at least…not yet.

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Rapunzel

(The real story)

I was barely able to make out what he was saying, as he sobbed, “I

When he finally stopped blubbering he looked up at me and begged,

I went to my little bush and slept pretty well. When I woke up I

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