The Jazz Discharge Party Hat

Frank Zappa
q = 110 Originally transcribed by Steve Vai

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Once u - pon a time , it was in
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Al - bu - quer - que, New Mex - i - co.

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There were these girls that worked at the col - lege they were real - ly
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cool they thought so a - ny - way They would be de - ligh - ted to tell you how sua

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ve they were at the drop of a hat. There was three of them.
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One of 'em thought she was a beau - ty queen, the ot - her one was a wal - king blow job.
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And then there was this skin - ny girl Oh well

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Some of the guys in the band got to - ge - ther with the girls from the col - lege

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They were ha - ving a good time. We were in
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Al - bu - quer - que for a cou - ple of days. But

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these girls thought they were hot shit, 'n' would - n't pooch the guys in the band on the

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first day, so a coup - le of the guys in the

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band, who were des - perate for that kind of ac - tion, kept wor -king on 'em for two days

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(which is a waste of fuck - in' time, an - y way) So an - y way But if that's your i-
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dea of a good time what the hey; send those pants up here, here's some more.

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O - kay, good good! Tra - di - tion - al cot - ton, oh how sweet. Umm

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heh heh heh Here, work these. An - y way... We're in Al -bu -quer - que, New Mex -i - co a

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cou ple of the guys in the band, who shall go name less, be - cause their girl -friends might find

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out, de - ci-ded they were gon -na work the wall on these girls, from the col - lege
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So one night it was the first night, when they were still try - ing to

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get it in there (ya know what I mean) huh huh huh The skin - ny girl

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she says to one of the guys in the band she says, well, to
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sev - ral of the guys in the band and one of the T - shirt guys too, "Hey! Let's

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go skin - ny dip - ping," at two o -'clock in the morn - ing, at the pool at the ho - tel That's right

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you heard right, two 'clock in the mor - ning, pool at the ho - tel it was so fun!

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But the wa - ter was ve - ry ve - ry cold; so they go out there

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and the girl who was real - ly skin - ny, 'n' pro -bably to - tal - ly in - sen - si - tive to
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cli - mat - ic chan - ges took all of her gar - ments off and she
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jumped in the pool and she says "Hey guys, come on in!"
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Well, one of them did the

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oth - er one was too smart for that shit. So, him and the T - shirt guy

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sat by the edge of the pool, and when the girl who was real - ly skin - ny
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(and in sens -i- tive to cli - mat - ic chan - ges) took off her clothes and jumped in the
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pool, she threw her pants o -ver there, by the lit -tle ta - ble. Well, one of the guys from the

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band picked up her pant - ies (he told me la - ter

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that the stuff in the bot - tom was like pun -ching an e clair) An - y how...
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There was no -thing else to do; it was Al - bu -quer - que, New Mex - i - co. It's
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two o'-clock in the mor - ning, they're not gon -na get a - ny nook - y an - y way. So this one guy
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and the T -shirt guy start -ed snif -fing the girl's pan - ties They were snif -fing the

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fudge, and snif -fing the glue. Snif -fing ev' - ry thing that ad -hered to these de -

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light -ful lit -tle mor - sels. Some of you might think this is weird... no won - der... it's not ex -act - ly
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nor - mal, but what the fuck. So they're snort - ing it... (huh)

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Hey, it's the twen - ti - eth cen - tur - y what -

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ev-er you can do to have a good time, let's get on with it, so long as it does-n't cause a mur - der.

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So they're snort - ing the pants. 'N'

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then, they put them on their head (they were hav - ing a good time) the
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girl was in the wat - er, she did - n't ev - en see what was go - ing on with her
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und -er - pants. They're wear-ing the pants. It looked just like a tin - y lit -tle part - y hat Their
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ears were stick - ing out the sides, it was so fun! Lat - er on,
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they dis - cov - ered: this would make a greatway of life for them. They would go from town to

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town,look -ing for pant - ies. They would take the pant - ies, af - ter they were hung up on the
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clothes - line. Lat - er on, they would take 'em back in the dress ing room. They would
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play with them. They would fet - ish the und - er - pants. They would snort ev' - ry lit - tle

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mor -sel att -ached to the und -er - pants. And then, they would feel like they were ful-

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filled. And so you can see, that what we're do -ing here on stage is part of a

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great A - mer - i - can tra - di - tion:
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The tra - di - tion of the Jazz Dis - charge Par - ty Hat.