Writing A Commentary Using

Literary Conventions
When writing a commentary READ the passage
or poem several times and start taking notes
with different coloured ink.
Consider and make reference to these
LITERARY CONVENTIONS:

1. Setting: The setting of a text is the place and time used within the text. This
may be:real or fictional (made-up)

* a specific geographical location - such as a named city or country

* a type of place or event - like a school or a wedding

Setting is a crucial part of a how a text achieves its effect. It can echo the themes of
the narrative. For example, Of Mice and Men opens in a place called Soledad, which
means loneliness a key theme of the book.
The time of day or year when a text is set also adds to its effect. For example, a school at
night is a very different place to a school during the day. A ghost story would probably
work better at night.
Wider historical context is important too. A text that is set during a war might suggest that
the story is big and important. Or perhaps the story is a small-scale human one,
contrasting with the backdrop of war. This could suggest the importance of love or
friendship, even when world events are huge and destructive.

* Narrative = The sequence of events in a plot; a story

How setting is
used
In this extract from
Charles Dickenss Great
Expectations, the
 weather reflects what is happening in Pips mind.
Pip is the main character and narrator
in Great Expectations
Day after day, a vast heavy veil had been driving
over London from the East, and it drove still, as if in
the East there were an Eternity of cloud and wind. So
furious had been the gusts, that high buildings in
town had had the lead stripped off their roofs; and in
the country, trees had been torn up, and sails of
windmills carried away; and gloomy accounts had
come in from the coast, of shipwreck and death.
Violent blasts of rain had accompanied these rages of
wind, and the day just closed as I sat down to read
had been the worst of all.
Charles Dickenss, Great Expectations, Ch. 39

Analysis
The gloomy weather reflects the main characters
unhappiness.
The description of the gusts of wind and rain shows
the action of his thoughts. The violence of these
gusts represents Pips confusion. This technique is
called pathetic fallacy.

* Pathetic Fallacy = Technique where the environment

(usually the weather) reflects the emotions of the main
character
2. Themes: Themes are the main ideas that lie beneath the surface of a text. When
working with a short extract of a fiction text, it helps to look closely at the language to
work out the themes.
 Identifying themes and ideas

Although a text may appear to be about events

that take place, the themes are the ideas that
run throughout. For example, Romeo and
Juliet is about two young lovers from opposing
families who meet by chance and fall in love.
The main theme of the play is fate.

Common themes include:

power
love

money
 death
appearance and reality

revenge

heroism

technology in society

friendship

fate and free will

One of the easiest ways to spot themes is

through motifs. A motif is a repeated image or
group of images in a text. For example,
in Hamlet there is a motif of actors and
theatres. This reflects an underlying theme of
appearance and reality: in the same way that
actors pretend to be different people on stage,
some of the characters in Hamlet pretend to be
things they are not.

Finding a theme in an extract

It is sometimes difficult to spot a theme in a short extract. You might only be able to say
what themes are suggested. When working with a short extract of a fiction text, it helps to
look closely at the language to work out the themes.

Example
Look at the opening of Skellig by David Almond, where the narrator finds Skellig for
the first time. Try to identify the themes of the larger text.
 I found him in the garage on a Sunday afternoon. It was the day after we moved into
Falconer Road. The winter was ending. Mum had said we'd be moving just in time for the
spring. Nobody else was there. Just me. The others were inside the house with Doctor
Death, worrying about the new baby. He was lying there in the darkness behind the tea
chests, in the dust and dirt. It was as if he'd been there forever. He was filthy and pale and
dried out and I thought he was dead. I couldn't have been more wrong. I'd soon begin to
see the truth about him, that there'd never been another creature like him in the world.
Skellig, David Almond

Analysis
There are plenty of hints that death is going to be an important theme in the novel. For
example:

the name of the doctor is Doctor Death

Skellig appears to be dead
there is also the worry about the new baby

However, there are also hints at renewal and life-after-death:

the family have moved just in time for the spring, a season of renewal
Skellig seems to have been there forever

The images and word choices in this opening paragraph suggest that a major theme in this
book will be life and death.
Working out the themes of a text is an act of inference. You can make links between the
themes of a text to the characters, the setting and the language.
Dont confuse the topic with the theme. For example the topic of a text could be two
friends travelling around looking for work on ranches, but the themes might be friendship
and the pointlessness of dreams (Of Mice and Men).
Exploring contrasts
 When you discuss a theme in a text, remember
to look beyond the simple themes of love, hate,
family, relationships, power, nature and society
by exploring the clash of opposites at the heart
of those ideas. For example:
conflict - us versus them, friends versus foes,

the state versus the citizen

family - feelings of safety versus desire for

independence
love - desire for something forbidden versus

attainable love
power - the individual versus the state, man

versus nature
place - an idea of paradise versus reality, the

idea of home versus exile

nature - the separation of man from nature,

natural beauty versus violence

An interesting theme involves a clash of
opposites. Love as a theme is more interesting
when there is conflict. If two people meet, fall
in love and there are no problems, then it is not
a very interesting story. Without something
trying to stop love, the story has nowhere to
go.
You can give structure and energy to an
analysis essay by discussing the opposite sides
of a theme.
 Writing about themes
Writing about themes in an extract is different
from writing about a complete text.
With an extract, there are two possibilities:
. You might be given a theme in the text to
explore. In this case focus on finding
examples of this theme to write about.

. If you are not given a theme, you need

to infer the themes from the text. Are there
repeated images, motifs or references to an
important idea?

In either case, think about the following:

How does the language support the theme?

Do images or individual words suggest a

theme?
How does the content support the theme?

Which events help to develop the ideas in the

text?
How do the characters represent the theme?

Example
The opening of Brave New
World by Aldous Huxley
describes a setting with very little action.
However, we can gather a lot of information
about the text from this.

A squat grey building of only thirty-four stories. Over the

main entrance the words, CENTRAL LONDON HATCHERY AND
CONDITIONING CENTRE, and, in a shield, the World State's
motto, COMMUNITY, IDENTITY, STABILITY.

Aldous Huxley was an English writer

and philosopher

The enormous room on the ground floor faced

towards the north. Cold for all the summer beyond
the panes, for all the tropical heat of the room itself,
a harsh thin light glared through the windows,
hungrily seeking some draped lay figure, some pallid
shape of academic gooseflesh, but finding only the
glass and nickel and bleakly shining porcelain of a
laboratory. Wintriness responded to wintriness. The
overalls of the workers were white, their hands gloved with a
pale corpse-coloured rubber. The light was frozen, dead, a
ghost. Only from the yellow barrels of the microscopes did it
borrow a certain rich and living substance, lying along the
polished tubes like butter, streak after luscious streak in long
recession down the work tables.
Brave New World, Aldous Huxley

Analysis
 The author creates a cold atmosphere in this
extract:
The harsh thin light shines on a clinical and

unfriendly setting.
The workers have corpse-coloured rubber

gloves.
The building is unfriendly its squat and

grey and it belongs to the World State.

The word hatchery sounds sinister (spoiler

alert - this isnt where chickens are hatched,

but where they grow humans!)
The metaphor the light was frozen, dead, a ghost

emphasizes the lifelessness of the place.

These combine to suggest two themes:

life and death

man versus nature

Even from this short extract its clear that the

scientific setting is important. Those who work
in the centre are almost lifeless.
The way the light seems to be fighting against
the sterile laboratory suggests there is a
tension between man and nature.
Colour and light are important images in this
extract. They can be used to support the
theme of life and death. Light is usually a sign
of life, but here it is negative.

Glossary:

* Metaphor = A comparison made without

using like or as eg. sea of troubles and
drowning in debt.
* Motif = A recurring element or symbol in a
text (or work of art), the repetition of which
contributes to establishing a theme.
* Infer = Reading between the lines to work
out things which are not explicitly stated in the
text.
* Narrator = The teller of a story; the voice in
a text that describes or narates the events of
the plot. The narator is often either a character
in the story or an authorial voice who gives a
commentary on events but doesnt take part.
3. Characterisation and Narrative
Voice

What is characterisation?
Characterisation is the way authors create
characters and make them believable. When
writing about texts, it is easy to treat
characters as real people. Try to remember that
 the author is creating characters using
language.
Think about the set of characters in a text:
What are the characters like?

How you know this?

What do the characters say (dialogue)?

How are they described?

How are they seen by other characters?

What happens to them at the end of their

story?

Characterisation example

Character can be shown through the things

characters do, what theysay, what
they look like, and what they own.
What do you find out about Crooks, the stable-
hand in Of Mice and Men, from the extract
below?
Crooks bunk was a long box filled with straw, on
which his blankets were flung. On the wall by the
window there were pegs on which hung broken
harness in process of being mended; strips of new
leather; and under the window itself a little bench for
leather-working tools, curved knives and needles and
balls of linen thread, and a small hand riveter. On
pegs were also pieces of harness, a split collar with
 the horsehair stuffing sticking out, a broken hame,
and a trace chain with its leather covering split.

Crooks had his apple box over his bunk, and in it a

range of medicine bottles, both for himself and for
the horses. There were cans of saddle soap and a
drippy can of tar with its paint brush sticking over the
edge. And scattered about the floor were a number
of personal possessions; for, being alone, Crooks
could leave his things about, and being a stable buck
and a cripple, he was more permanent than the other
men, and he had accumulated more possessions
than he could carry on his back.

Crooks possessed several pairs of shoes, a pair of

rubber boots, a big alarm clock and a single-barrelled
shotgun. And he had books, too; a tattered dictionary
and a mauled copy of the California civil code for
1905. There were battered magazines and a few dirty
books on a special shelf over his bunk. A pair of large
gold-rimmed spectacles hung from a nail on the wall
above his bed.

Of Mice and Men, John Steinbeck

Analysis
Crooks has quite a lot of possessions,
emphasising his permanence. Unlike the
 other men, he doesnt have to be able to
carry everything he owns on his back.
He seems to do odd jobs around the place. This

is shown by the broken harness, the tools

and the cans.
Hes poor he keeps his things in an apple

box.
His own medicine and that of the horses is in

the same place. Is he of equal status with the

animals?
Crooks is surprisingly educated. He owns

books, including a law book, which

suggests he is interested in whats right, or
at least in getting what hes owed.
He isnt used to people being in his space. Hes

messy and has belongings scattered about

the floor.
Crooks has his own room. However this seems

to show that he is cut off from other people,

rather than being a sign of privilege.

Character development
Characters usually change over the course of a
text. These changes can be a powerful way to
present themes and important ideas to the
reader.
 As the text continues, the author often adds
more details to the picture of a character.
How the reader reacts to a character can be
very important to how they feel about the text.
Look for contrasts or contradictions - not just between
characters, but within each character. In real
life no one is simply good or bad. All effective
characters have more than one side.

Typical contrasts between

characters
Characters who think versus characters
who feel.
Characters who talk versus characters

who act.
Sociable characters

versus solitary characters.

Predators who take advantage of people

versus characters who are victims.

Characters who want one thing versus

those who want another.

 Typical contrasts within a
character
A person who says one thing, and does
another.
A character who sacrifices something

important to pursue a goal of their own.

A character who wants two opposing things.

Example
This extract is a description of a character from
Hilary Mantels historical novel Bring Up the Bodies.
Thomas Cromwell is the Kings Secretary an
important role. What contrasts can you find, which
help to develop the character?
Thomas Cromwell is now about fifty years old. He has
a labourer's body, stocky, useful, running to fat. He
has black hair, greying now, and because of his pale
impermeable skin, which seems designed to resist
rain as well as sun, people sneer that his father was
an Irishman, though really he was a brewer and a
blacksmith at Putney, a shearsman too, a man with a
finger in every pie, a scrapper and brawler, a drunk
and a bully, a man often hauled before the justices
for punching someone, for cheating someone. How
the son of such a man has achieved his
present eminence is a question all Europe asks. Some
say he came up with the Boleyns, the queen's family.
Some say it was wholly through the late Cardinal
 Wolsey, his patron; Cromwell was in his confidence
and made money for him and knew his secrets.
Others say he haunts the company of sorcerers. He
was out of the realm from boyhood, a hired soldier, a
wool trader, a banker. No one knows where he has
been and who he has met, and he is in no hurry to
tell them.
Bring Up the Bodies, Hilary Mantel

Analysis
Theres a contrast between Cromwells
background, as the son of a blacksmith, and
his current job and position.

Theres a mystery about how Cromwell got to

where he is people gossip about him. They
dont seem to like him: either he came up
with the family of the queen, or maybe he
owes his rise to sorcerers.

Hes had many different jobs a soldier, a

wool trader, a banker which might
suggest that hes a man of many talents.

Some of these things make the reader feel

sympathy for Cromwell. Hes a self-made man,
who is sometimes looked down on by those
around him.
But some of it suggests he doesnt need our
sympathy, and perhaps that he
deliberately manipulates his image. Hes in no hurry
to reveal the truth, so perhaps hes dishonest.

When you are writing about characterisation, don't just describe what characters
are like. Always give evidence, and always give a range of language techniques the
writer uses.

What is voice?
Voice means the tone of the narrative. Think about
the language used in the narration and what
that tells us. In some texts the narratoris also a
character. In others, the narrative voice is more
distant.

Narrative can be first person indicating a

clear point of view or third person which
could follow one character closely or take
anomniscient standpoint.

To work out the voice of a text, think about the

following:
Is it in the first person (I) or the third person

(he, she)?
What is the feeling or attitude of the narrator?

How is the story told? What writing techniques

are used?
 Do we get a clear sense of the narrator as a
character in the story? Or is the focus on the
characters the narrator is describing?

Examples of voice
Adventures of Huckleberry Finn by Mark Twain
is a first personnarrative. The story is told
from Hucks point of view, as if he were
confiding in the reader. We get a clear sense of
his character from the language he uses.
Well, I got a good going-over in the morning from old
Miss Watson on account of my clothes; but the widow
she didn't scold, but only cleaned off the grease and
clay, and looked so sorry that I thought I would
behave awhile if I could. Then Miss Watson she took
me in the closet and prayed, but nothing come of it.
She told me to pray every day, and whatever I asked
for I would get it. But it warn't so. I tried it. Once I got
a fish-line, but no hooks. It warn't any good to me
without hooks. I tried for the hooks three or four
times, but somehow I couldn't make it work. By and
by, one day, I asked Miss Watson to try for me, but
she said I was a fool. She never told me why, and I
couldn't make it out no way.

Adventures of Huckleberry Finn by Mark Twain

In Little Women, Louisa May Alcott uses
an omniscient narrator. This narrator is not a
character, but a voice that knows all the
thoughts and feelings of all the characters in
the story.

Margaret, the eldest of the four, was sixteen, and

very pretty, being plump and fair, with large eyes,
plenty of soft brown hair, a sweet mouth, and white
hands, of which she was rather vain. Fifteen-year-old
Jo was very tall, thin, and brown, and reminded one
of a colt, for she never seemed to know what to do
with her long limbs, which were very much in her
way. She had a decided mouth, a comical nose, and
sharp, gray eyes, which appeared to see everything,
and were by turns fierce, funny, or thoughtful. Her
long, thick hair was her one beauty, but it was
usually bundled into a net, to be out of her way.
Round shoulders had Jo, big hands and feet, a
flyaway look to her clothes, and the uncomfortable
appearance of a girl who was rapidly shooting up into
a woman and didn't like it. Elizabeth, or Beth, as
everyone called her, was a rosy, smooth-haired,
bright-eyed girl of thirteen, with a shy manner, a
timid voice, and a peaceful expression which was
seldom disturbed.

Little Women by Louisa May Alcott

Analysing character and voice in an
extract

Example
This extract from Charles Dickens Hard Times introduces Mr Gradgrind, the headmaster
of a school. What do we learn about this character?
Now, what I want is, Facts. Teach these
boys and girls nothing but Facts. Facts
alone are wanted in life. Plant nothing
else, and root out everything else. You
can only form the minds of reasoning
animals upon Facts: nothing else will
ever be of any service to them. This is the
 principle on which I bring up my own children, and this is the principle on which I bring
up these children. Stick to Facts, sir!
The scene was a plain, bare, monotonous vault of a school-room, and the speaker's square
forefinger emphasised his observations by underscoring every sentence with a line on the
schoolmaster's sleeve. The emphasis was helped by the speaker's square wall of a
forehead, which had his eyebrows for its base, while his eyes found commodious
cellarage in two dark caves, overshadowed by the wall. The emphasis was helped by the
speaker's mouth, which was wide, thin, and hard set. The emphasis was helped by the
speaker's voice, which was inflexible, dry, and dictatorial. The emphasis was helped by
the speaker's hair, which bristled on the skirts of his bald head, a plantation of firs to keep
the wind from its shining surface, all covered with knobs, like the crust of a plum pie, as
if the head had scarcely warehouse-room for the hard facts stored inside.
Hard Times, Charles Dickens

Analysis
A third-person narrative voice is used.

Gradgrinduses a lot of commands in his speech. This suggests that hes used to being
in charge. It doesnt make him a very sympathetic character. We get the feeling that
hes very focused on what he thinks, rather than anyone elses opinions.

He emphasisesFacts by using the capital letter F. This suggests he has a

narrow view of education.

Hes described in an unsympathetic way everything about him is square.

The narrator
tells us directly that the characters voice is dry and dictatorial.
The narrator doesnt approve of him either.

Although the narrator seems to be describing the character in quite a factual way
suggesting hes neutral he starts to use some complicated imagery. Gradgrinds
hair becomes fir trees that bristled on his head, and his skin is like the crust of a
plum pie. These are vivid and slightly disturbing images.

4. Language and Structure: Language (words, imagery, dialogue) and structure (how a
text is put together) are the methods used by authors to create effective characters, stories
and themes.

Language
 Example of a simile from The Hunger Games, Suzanne Collins

When talking about language there are a number of things to look for:

the literary devices an author uses, like similes and metaphors

Simile = A comparison using like or as to create a vivid image eg. As big as a

whale; float like a butterfly; sting like a bee.
Metephor = A comparison made without using like or as, eg. Sea of troubles and
drowning in debt

the emotive language - language designed to make the reader feel a certain way
the connotations of particular word choices
the typesof words used in the text, eg dialect words, long and complicated words
or short and straightforward words
the types of sentences used, eg long or short, simple or complicated.

Find out about the characters by looking closely at the words they use in dialogue. (The
words said by a character in a story or play). If they use long, difficult words, it might
show how clever a character is (or thinks they are!).
 Language also tells us a lot about the underlying ideas of a text. Words have two sets of
meanings:
denotations - their dictionary meaning
connotations - the ideas they link to
For example, the word 'desk' literally denotes a table, but it has connotations of work and
study.
Words can reveal a theme, such as death, or love, or create a particular mood in a scene.
Sentence length can be altered to show character. An author might suggest that a
character is boring or self-important by making them speak in long sentences. Whereas,
short sentences might be used to create tension.

Literary devices
Here are some literary devices you might find in a text:
Device Example Effect

Metaphor His home was his His home is presented

castle. as a secure and safe
place to be.
Simile She had a smile Her smile seems bright
like the sunrise. and full of hope.
Personification The wind The wind is given the
screamed through human characteristic of
the trees. screaming. This
creates an uneasy
atmosphere.
Pathetic fallacy 'The clouds The emotion of the
(a type of crowded together situation comes across
personification) suspiciously through the description
overhead as the of the weather.
sky darkened.'
Repetition Stephen tried and The repetition
tried and tried to emphasises Stephens
get the ball in the desperation at his
 Device Example Effect

net. failed attempts.

Listing The choir, the A clear sense of the
altar, the old church is conveyed by
wooden pews, the listing the features of
heavy door the inside.
Alliteration The suffocating The repetition of the s
steam filled the sound adds to the
room. discomfort of the room.
Onomatopoeia Howling, the cat We get a sense of the
ran through the cats terror from the
house. sound of the word
howling.

When you identify literary devices in a text, try to link them to a main theme or
idea.

Example:
Here is an extract from Rumpole and the Blind
Tasting, a short story by John Mortimer.
Rumpole is a lawyer. What literary devices
does Mortimer use in this extract, and what
effects do they create?
It is a good few years now since I adopted the habit of noting down the facts of some of
my outstanding cases, the splendours and miseries of an Old Bailey hack, and those of
you who may have cast an eye over some of my previous works of reminiscence may
well be muttering Plus a change, plus cest la mme chose or words to the like effect.
After so many cross-examinations, speeches to the Jury, verdicts of guilty or not guilty,
legal aid cheques long-awaited and quickly disposed of down the bottomless pit of the
overdraft at the Caring Bank, no great change in the Rumpole fortunes had taken place,
the texture of life remained much as it had always been and would, no doubt, do so until
 after my positively last case when I sit waiting to be called on in the Great Circuit Court
of the Skies, if such a tribunal exists.

Rumpole and the Blind Tasting, a short story by John Mortimer

Analysis
The first person narrator is Rumpole. He directly addresses the reader those of you.
This creates an informal tone and makes the reader feel the narrator is talking to
them.

The long sentences suggest that Rumpole likes the sound of his own voice.

Mortimer uses complex vocabulary to create the impression of an educated character.

For example, reminiscence instead of memory. This is also shown by the use of
French.

The list ofRumpoles jobs shows us how Rumpole spends his time. It suggests that he
is only interested in his work.

Thisis supported by the final metaphor - the Great Circuit Court of the Skies. This
suggests that Rumpoles work will continue even after death.

Structure
The structure of a text refers to its shape as a whole. This can mean the order of the plot
events in a story, novel or play.
Think about how the structure works in terms of the effects it creates. Ask yourself why
the paragraphs are ordered the way they are. Is it important for us to know certain bits of
information before we get to the next part of the text?
Look for links from the beginning to the end of a text. For example, is there a repeated
image? Or is there a significant change in an attitude, character or setting?

Structural devices
 Structural devices include:
storyarc has a beginning, a middle and an end, usually with a crisis point that is
resolved in the end
flash-back the main narrative takes place in one time, but there are episodes from
the past
circular narrative the last line of a piece takes you back to the beginning of it
dual narrative - gives two sides of a story, alternating between viewpoints