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The Genogram: Personal Cultural History Project

Brandman University

Veronica Pulido

Abstract
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This paper will provide insight into my cultural background and how it has shaped me today. I

will also touch on how being part of this culture might influence my future work with students;

how it might help me and how it will be helpful if I work in my community. This paper also

includes the interviews required for the project as well as my personal family genogram

pedigree.
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Self-Esteem Influences

Growing up in a traditional Mexican family most likely tends to mean that you will be

called by a nickname on not your real name. To some, it’s a shortening of the name that’s usual

of anyone that has that name. For others, it will depend on their characteristics or looks. As a kid,

I went through a serious phase of neglect and depression in which no one knew about and

unfortunately gained a lot of weight. Next thing I knew, my nickname became “gorda” which

translates to “fat.”

My grandpa Vicente was the one who would mainly call me like that. He would comment

on how chubby my cheeks were, but I never seemed to understand. Then my aunts, my mom’s

sisters, began to pick it up as well. And yet, I still didn’t make much of it. My mother never

called me that, but rather began to tell me other harmful things. She would begin to tell me to

stop eating so much because I was getting fat. On days we would go out to an event or a party,

she would tell me to suck in my stomach so it wouldn’t look like I had a big belly. Keep in mind,

I was not in middle school yet when all of this occurred.

By the time I was a 7th grader and was bullied about my weight in school, I ended up

developing an eating disorder and lost a dramatic amount of weight. But even then, my nickname

was still “gorda.” To this day, one particular aunt still calls me that and in all honesty, I feel like

it is a way for her not to feel bad about herself since she used to be extremely thin and gained a

huge amount of weight after having her children and never managed to go back to the size she

used to be. I feel that her calling me “gorda” essentially became a reflection of her own self-

esteem issues.

I, on the other hand, have embraced my weight because since my teenage years, I have

gained more weight than what I lost by being bulimic. I can now say that I’m ok with shopping
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for pants at the plus size section. I embrace the way my body is at the moment. If at some point I

want to change that, then I will. But even now, I’m in the process of healing from that hurt and

loving my body the way it is. I have been working on accepting myself the way that i currently

am, to love everything that my mother seemed to dislike.

Perceptions

Like in many cultures, there are unfortunate ways in which they see others. Some

perceptions are even of other people within the same culture and community. For example, many

people who have more Spanish traits tend to think less of those who have indigenous features.

There is even a saying within the Mexican community that the most beautiful women come from

the state of Jalisco. Why exactly? Because these women are all thin, blonde hair, light skin, and

colored eyes. It is sad and unfortunate that many people have the perception that they are any

less beautiful human beings only because of their physicality. It is even more unfortunate that it

is within the community.

One thing that i am very aware, and try to stop with my mother in particular, is that they

believe that many African Americans are bad. Growing up, I quickly caught on on how my

mother felt about them and I did not like it. One of my best friends growing up was African

American, and I didn't understand she was so stereotypical of them and labeled them the same

way the media felt like portraying them. No, they are not all thugs and people roaming the

streets. They are people with dreams just like us.

I know her perception of them is wrong and I try to teach her otherwise. I believe that

having her be biased towards people of an ethnicity that I had a close friend with is what made

me not be biased against them.

Influences on Career
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These two topics which I’ve touched on will definitely help me in my profession. For

one, I have learned to not be bias towards any ethnicity. I don’t think of one less than another

simply because of their skin color. I feel that everyone should be treated equally and allow their

manners and personality speak for themselves. What a person looks like should not be the

reason of why we judge someone. It seems as though we are always being taught to not judge a

book by its cover, but sometimes fail to apply it to people as well.

Secondly, as someone who dealt with being bullied over my weight, both within my own

family and at school, I can relate to student swho also go through that and provide excellent

counseling. If there is not a program specifically designed to combat against bullying, I will also

make sure to have that in the school I will be in. More specifically, I would like to have some

kind of group just for those who are dealing with eating disorders. I’d like for them to be there

for one another and learn to love themselves just how they are. I would serve as a mentor or

adviser for these girls and boys who are willing to heal themselves.

Conclusion

Being part of the Mexican culture and community has taught me many things throughout

my life. I know my people are hardworking and dedicated individuals. But like with any other

ethnicity, there are issues that do need to be addressed and hopefully changed. The experiences I

have lived will help me guide other students who are Mexican and strive to connect to others of

different cultural backgrounds.

Interviews

The first person I interviewed for my Genogram Paper is my mother Viviana. There are

several things that i have always known about her and my family. At a young age, both my father

and my mother would tell us many stories of their lives when they were young, how different
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and difficult it was to be poor in Mexico, and the struggles they've overcome as immigrants. My

mother married my father when she was only 15 years old, he was 24 at the time. By the time she

was 18, she already had two children. I also know that my parents are actually second cousins,

which is why I am related to some individuals from both of my parent’s sides.

Some background information about my family just to get a better sense of where we

come from: my parents both lived in a small town in Michoacan, Mexico that is at the top of a

small hill. Half of the town is related to each other and everyone basically knows each other

unless they are not as involved in being part of the community.

For the interview with her, I decided to ask more questions about our family and some of

herself. The interview went something as follows (translated from Spanish):

Me: Who was your best friend growing up?

Viviana: Your aunt Abelina. We were in the same grade in school and always hung out.

Me: So, since a very young age you knew my dad?

Viviana: Yes.

Me: How exactly is it that my dad’s siblings call your dad uncle?

Viviana: Because your grandma Elena and my dad are both Mendoza; they are cousins. And

your uncle Ignacio and his wife are both Fernandez, and your Uncle Aristeo and his wife are

Mendoza, too. Your grandma Elena’s mom and your aunt Luz’s (wife of uncle Aristeo) grandma

were sisters. My grandma and your dad’s grandpa were siblings.

Me: And what are their names?

Viviana: My grandma was Delfina Mendoza Luna. And your dad’s grandpa was Jesus Mendoza

Luna.

Basically I have two great grandparents who are brother and sister.
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The second person I interviewed, was my husband who. While beginning to begin his

interview, he began to make connections with his family and my dad’s family as well. The thing

with us Mexicans who come from two really small towns is that although we may be related

through relatives like great aunts/uncles and great grandparents, we still consider each other

family. Whether we are second cousins, third cousins, have a great uncle or aunt, we still

acknowledge each other as relatives. This typically means that at any family event, as soon as we

arrive we shake hands with everyone.

Back to the discussion between my mother and my husband, Ernesto, they came to the

realization that my uncle Ignacio’s wife, Esperanza, essentially is his aunt. My aunt Esperanza’s

mother and my husband’s grandmother are sisters. This is very interesting to me because given

that my husband and I are from neighboring towns in Mexico, I was sure that at some point we

would find another lineage in which we had in common.

He and I are not related, but even when we dated we were aware of which of our family

members are the same. Some of his aunts and uncles are married to my aunts and uncles, but he

and I are not directly related in any way, unlike my parent and his, who are second cousins. I’m

sure that may seem strange to some people, even gross, but it’s nothing out of the norm when

you take into consideration that some may call them cousins once removed or twice removed,

but to us it’s simply second cousins.

All in all, it is always fascinating to talk about one’s family which can always help

understand one’s own culture. It can bring about realizations of how our family is and can help

us relate to others as well if there are similarities.