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':'.

'uIGHTER MOMENTS
IN Tf.'.E
R.AJYA SABHA
, ..

•
 , .
'..

-3 2- \~ )
~ i~'~

LIGHTER MOMENTS IN THE RAJYA SABHA

~J. .' ...•.••,

,~. .
. . . ~.
I :. t . ~ ~,;"
 RL-1
PRE F ACE

1st Impression .July, 1985

Humour in Parliament makes an
Reprint August, 1985 interesting subject of study. In
parliamentary democracy based on party
system. Parliament often functions under
great stress and strain and the atmosphere
in the House for part of the day remains
1',::;.>";).
S:;,~ha Lbnu . surcharged. But even in the midst of
'., _ hS87 confrontation. one comes across instances of
f. :':. ;~. II (6 . wit, wisdom. and amusing remarks. Most of
L 0 .1; ..... . ....• -" ••••••
.. :. " jO,I).8-lj these are made in a lighter vein and serve
.. D&te ..... ~.•... IIio •••••••••• -.
as oases. as it were. in the dry desert of
verbal duels. None of these exchanges are
pre-rehearsed or pre-meditated and that is
precisely why they are so good. They are
the products of lively and vivacious minds
reacting instantly to a particular situation;
words often uttered by persons who could
normally claim no particular ability to be
witty. Cutting across the party lines or
political differences these crisp observations
often serve the purpose of lightening the
published by atmosphere in the House which otherwise
Secretary General, Rajya Sabha
could be serious and tension-ridden. Without
these. the debate and proceedings of the
House would be sterile indeed.

A few such instances of witty, awky

ane. drolly statements have been culled out
rror,i the proceedings of. the Rajya Sabha and
included in this booklet. I hope members
t>
, '1

would find them interesting. Members are

Advantages Of Not Having A Son Or A Daughter
also requested that in case they are in
possession of any interesting instances of
humour or wit in the Rajya Sabha, or if they While speaking on the Appropriation
have any suggestion for improvement they Bill, Shri Bhupesh Gupta made the following
may kindly be passed on to Shri MoC. observation: -
Banerjee. Deputy Director. Rajya Sabha
Secretariat so that the same could be "Corruption is rampant. I would just
incorporated in the next issue of this give you one instance. I feel very hurt
publication which is proposed to be brought when I have to speak against my
out at periodic intervals 0
colleagues in Parliament, whether. they
are Ministers or their family members.
But public duty is public duty. Since I
have no son or a daughter or a
son-in-law or daughter-in-law, perhaps
I should speak a little like that and I
SUDARSHAJ.\IAGARWAL, hope my friends will not misunderstand
Secretary -General, me, even Mr. Morarji Desai should not
misunderstand me... II
NEW DELHI;
The -"lst July, 1985 Vice-Chairman. Shri Lakshmanan, who
was in the ChB:ir agreed with him:-

"Dada, in that you are in an

advantageous position. Since you ~o not
have a son or a daughter. you are in
an advantageous position. II 00

Air Accident Vs. Railway Accident

In question hour when Shri Mohd. Shafi
Qureshi. the Deputy Minister in the Ministry
of Railway was answering a Question on the
Railway accident, Shri J,P. Mathur made the
following remark:-
"S0 far in our ,country death in Air
accident is to be more profitable than
 2 3

"Railway accident. Those who die in concerned, there cannot be anything

plane crash get one lakh rupees." except ashes. *"
00
00

All Fools Day Attracting Attention In The House And Outside

Shri Chand Ram, Minister of State in During supplementaries to Starred

charge of the Ministry of Shipping and Question on the activities of Rashtriya
Transport was answering a question on the Swayamsewak Sangh, Shri Piloo Mody
plying of mini-buses in Delhi. addressing the Home Minister said as
follows:-
SHRI KHURSHID ALAM KHAN: Congratulate
the Minister because he had decided to make "Do not look towards the Prime
all these changes from the 1st April, which Minister. She may be more attractive.
was supposed to be the fools day. Look towards me."

Prof. Madhu Dandavate observed: Prime Minister, Smt. Indira Gandhi

intervened that Shri Mody had no difficulty
"That is keeping you in view." in attracting attention here or anywhere
00 else.
00

Ashes From Soda-Ash

In the course of supplementaries to a

question about distribution of Soda-Ash Shri
Kalyan Roy interjected and satirically
remarked:

"A lot of ashes will come out of the

Soda-Ash."

The Minister Shri Mohan Dharia paid back

the member in the same coin: *The reference to the member had probably
been made as he was a very prominent leader
"So far as Mr. . Kalyan Roy is of Coal Miners.
 4 5

Bachelor Father Shri Naval Kishore said that he stood with a

heavy heart to support the measure in the
SHRI BHUPESHGUPTA: The Hon'ble Minister interest of the country. Thereupon Shrl
should know the family planning thing a Bhupesh Gupta jocularly remarked that he
little better. Simply because a person is controverted the member's assertion that he
bachelor it does not mean that he is not was standing with a heavy heart. He
responsible for babies being produced. proposed that Shri Naval Kishore may be put
to medical examination before he was allowed
SHRI RAJ BAHADUR: Sir, I never knew to continue further. Shri Naval Kishore
this, we will use this contention against him immediately replied as follows;-
(Shri Gupta) * in the election campaign.
00 "Mr. Bhupesh Gupta knows nothing
about heart. He is a barren bachelor. II
Bachelor's Companion 00

In a debate on Salary, Allowances and Beautiful -Ladles In Control Of the House

Pension of Members of Parliament Bill, 1980
Kumari Saroj Khaparde demanded issue of Shri Arona Aladi alias V. Arunachalam
'Companion' passes for rail travel to bachelor while felicitating Dr. (Smt.) Najma Heptul1a
members like Shri Bhupesh Gupta and on her. election as Deputy Chairman.
herself. Thereupon Shri Gupta reacted in his observed as follows;-
inimitable style and commented as under:-
"To control the House successfully and
III am almost inclined to sympathise with cOndLlCtthe proceedings comfortably, as
you, but I have no companion,II far.as1Jlen are concerned. it is difficult
bu{"so 'far as ladies are concerned, if
It was left to Dr. Bhai Mahavir to have they are old, it is quite natural that
the last word:- the House will be sympathetic. If they
IIBoth the Hon'ble Members can solve are beautif~. ',and young. their radiance
each other's problems. II will satisfy the House. II 00
00

Bachelor's Knowledge About Heart Bold Burglar

The House was discussing the A calling attention relating to the
Maintenance of Internal Security Bill, 1971. deteriorating law and order situation in Delhi
was under discussion in the House. An
*Shri Bhupesh Gupta was a life-long bachelor. Hon'ble Member, Shri K.P. Subramaniam
. . . . .'
referred to an attempted burglary in the
House of Shri A.K. Gopalan CPlv1leader and
I>
, '

6 7
Ii Member of ParUainent Shrl K Co Pant. the
0 0 SHRI MoS. GURUPADASWAMY:
Beauty should
M1n.ister of State for Home observed as also be taxed.
follows~
SHRI VISHWANATHPRATAP SINGH: Who
liMy Honible friend referred to some would be the assessor?
attempt at Sbrl Gopalanis house. I must
say, it must be very bold burglar. who SHRI M.So GURUPADASWAMY:
I will be the
attempted this n
0
assessor 0

Shrl Bhupesh Gupta immediately reacted SHRI R. RAMAKRISHNAN~ I am happy that

as follows~- the budget has evoked such a hearty
response.
nMust be people belonging to your 00
department II
0

00 Bulk Of The Volume

Budget Response A copy of the summary of conclusions
and recommendations as contamed in the
SHRI R RAMAKRISHNAN
0 ~ There will still be report of Shri Justice e.A. Vaidialingam was
a few people who will even criticise beautiful being laid on the Table of the House.
ladies They will always say that her ear is
0
Referring to the demand of Shri Plloo Mody
a little loppy or u her nose had been a little to haVE!the entire report laid on the Table.
longer, it would have been better or that if Mr. Chairman said:
her complexion had been a little more fair. it
would have been better. Similarly. there are "Mr. Mody, the bulk of that report is
various comments on the budget saying that very frightening; it would not be
the income-tax exemption limit should have POSSI"bl e •.• II
been raised to 25.0001- rupees. I think it is
like saying that a lady is beautiful and fair SHRI PILOO MODY: You know, I have never
and if she had been fairer. it would have been frightened by the bulk. Sir.
been better. .
MR. CHAIRMAN:I refer to. the bulk of the
SHRI V. GOPALSAMY:Tastes dUfer from volume.*
individual to individual. 00
'-.~
DBP(,J,TYCHAIRMAN: I thought you were
r;1isc~ssingthe budget.
sHtn PARVATHANENI UPENDRA: He is "'Shri. Ptloo Mody was a fat and bulky member
dt8~ssing beautiful ladies and not budget. of the House.
"',~~~'L
 8
9
Chair Cannot Be Chivalrous
This led to the following interesting
The Deputy. Chairman asked Smto exchange:-
Sumitra Kulkarni, who was speaking on the
SHRI D.P. PHAR: A good deal of honesty
general discussion on the budget to conclude
not a little honesty. I would not accept
and without giving any further time to her,
Bhupesh Babuls suggestion that we should
he called upon the next Speaker Shrl DoL 0

be content with a little honesty. We should

Sen Gupta to speak Feeling a little
0

emb;urassed, 8hrl Sen Gupta said:- be more honesto •.

have to disturb a lady speaker , who

ill
SHRI BHUPESH GUPTA: Bhupesh Babu is
was speaking really nicely a n now a very mature man, Mr. Dhar. Sir. I do
share his sentiments. But corruption is so
Mr. Deputy Chairman thereupon reacted much, so monumental and great, that a little
as follows~- honesty will be great blessing.

DI have to regulate the time, I cannot SHRI D.P. DHAR: I must say that if a
be as chivalrous as the other people crusader like Bhupesh Da yields to despair
are. II and is prepared to condone dishonesty. then
00 I think the future of this country is really
bleak. We have got to condemn dishonesty
Charity Begins At Every Home wherever it is and we shall not be satisfied
The House was considering a motion with a little honesty ...
regarding approach to the 5th Five Year
Plan,. 1974-79. While making his speech, the SHRI BHUPESH GUPTA: Then, let charity
Plannmg Minister, 8hri D.P. Dhar observed begin at home.
as follows:- SHRI D.P. DHAR: It has to begin at every
IlWe also have to ensure greater home...
?fficiency in the formulation of projects, SHRI BHUPE8H GUPTA: Do not change the
In the implementation of projects and old English idiom: Charity begins at home.
not only that, not only efficiency, but not at levery' home.
:uso a greater degree of economy and,
if I may say so, parsimony 0
SHRI D. P. DHAR: Wherever an English idiom
has to be made properly applicable to a set
Shri Bhupesh Gupta added:- of circumstances. . it should be changed.
That's why X said not only home but levery
IlAnd a little honesty too. II home'. 00

I'
 10 11

Coca Cola And Parle Concern For Property

SHRI J.K. JAIN: Sir, there is an During the discussion over a calling
important announcement. Mr. Piloo Mody has attention relating to deteriorating law and
joined our party and he is sitting in the order situation in Delhi, when Shri K. C . . I
treasury benches.
announcement.
It is an important
He has joined our party.
Pant made some remarks in lighter vein to
which Shri Bhupesh Gupta said that he I
appreciated jokes but:
SHRI NAGESHWAR PRASAD SHAH!: Mr.
Chairman, how can Coca Cola and Parle go "Not at the cost of my throat; not at
together? Both cannot go together. the cost of little property that I have,
I like humour but not humour at the
MR. CHAIRMAN: You can have them one mercy of burglars. "
after the other,
00 MR. DEPUTY CHAIRMAN: You do not havE"
any property.
Companions For Bachelors
SHRI K. C. PANT: I am very glad that he
During a debate on the Railway Budget, has concern for property.
Shri P. C . Sethi the Minister of Railways
informed the House that there had. been SHRI BHUPESH GUPTA: Yes, of coarse, I
representations to the Department of have. I have a typewriter - the highest
Parliamentary Affairs, the Ministry of property that I have.
00
Railways and the Prime Minister with regard
to free railway passes for the spouses of
Bon 'ble Members of Parliament.

SI-iRI J.P. MATHUR: What about those who

have no spouse?

MR. DEPUTY CHAIRMAN: You can have it.

SHRI J. P. lilA THUR: That means anyone will

he able to travel free with members like me .
• am a bachelor. I can take anybody.
00'
 12 13

Daughter-in-law Vs. Mother-in-law Maharashtra. Shri Kulkarni wanted to speak

b t Mr Chairman had his own problem. He
SHRI SHANTI G. PATEL: [Speaking on w~s finding it difficult to control the Hon'ble
Payment of Bonus (Amendment) Bill] I know, lady members,
the present Labour Minister may be
sympathetic with us. He would like to plead MR CHAIRMAN: Mr. Kulkarni, will yO? .giulve
that his Ministry has been doing it all along. me . one ml'nute . I find it even more difflC t
But his position is just like a to control the Hon'ble lady members.
daughter-in-law in the House. The real SHRI PILOO MODY: That is the dif~iculty
mother-in-law' is the Finance Ministry. And with all of us. All of us have expenenced
mother-in-law rules the house, not the that difficulty. 00
Labour Minister, So the poor fellow cannot
do anything,
00 Discounting Has Started
Dead Chair The House was discussing a dem~nd for
. on the two ordinances
a diScusslOn t f that
When the House was going through the ':;'.omulgated before the commencemen 0 .
supplementaries to a question regarding S~ssion. While speaking on the same, Shn P,
black marketing and hoarding of essential Ramamurti said as follows:-
commodities, Shri A. G. Kulkarni insisted on
showing a paper to the Chair whereupon the -"Unfortunately Sir, on such an
latter advised that it should be shown to the important question, people who count,
Minister because it is the Minister who had have run away. II
to reply. Shri Piloo Mody submitted that This led to the following cross ~~~
questions to Minister could be put only between Shri Bhupesh Gupta and
through the Chair.
Rarnamurti:
MR. CHAIRMAN: That is just because it is a SHRI BHUPESH GUPTA: Mr. Dharia counts.
dead chair.
StiRI RAMAMURTI: He counts.
SHRI PILOD MODY: The Chair is dead or
alive depending upon the occupant. SHRI BHUPESH GUPTA: I do .not kn~lW when
00
h
..e will be discounted. Dlscountmg has
started. * 00
Diffkult To Control Lady Members
----------:-:-'.-_ •..
The nouse was discussing a special -----
*.Tanata Party whic h
L was running the
mention on the reported move by the ruling •Goverilment at the '" tre ",'.ad alreud'" .T
ven
party to encourage defections of l"LAs in started falling apart.
 14
15
fJt>mestic Bliss
Elevation To The Cabinet
SHRI MADHAVRAO SCINDIA (THE MINISTER
OF STATE IN THE MINISTRY OF Shri Bhupesh Gupta was r.eferring. to
RAILWAYS): Sir, a number of Hon'ble the need for setting up enqUlry agaInst
Members were very much exercised about the persons in high authority against wh0II! th~:e
fact that they were unable to be accompanied have been allegations. While Shn BIJU
by their spouses, The Railway Minister, Mr, Patnaik interrupted him, Shri Bhupesh Gupta
Bansi Lal, has taken into consideration the reacted as follows:
views of the Members of 'Parliament. In
consultation with the Ministry of "Mr, Biju Patnaik is a pastmaster. He
P~rliamentary Affairs and the Ministry of himself has been subject of so many
FInance, he has issued orders today commissions of' inquiry, He should not
restoring this facility. I hope this will dispel be afraid of it. He is the man who has
fears in the minds of members about their faced commissions of inquiry like a
future domestic bliss. soldier in the Second World War. For
00 him a commission of inquiry means
elevation to the Uni n Cabinet. II 00
ry Bath
Essential Commodity
The House was discussing the stoppage During a Calling Attention discussi?n
of water supply in M.Ps' flats in South regarding non-availability of essentIal
Avenue. Shri A,G. Kulkarni made a commodities some members wanted that the
reference to this matter in the House and Minister ought to have been able to give
related his conversation with the Works q information about some specific essential
Housing Minister who, he agitatedly told commodities. Thereupon Shri Bhupesh Gupta
had advised him to take a dry bath. Shrf quipped:
,
Piloo Mody interrupted to say that if a . .
ii person wanted to have a dry bath, he need "It seems, according to the Minister the
'. not go to the bathroom. To this . Shri only essential Gommodity is the Minister
Kulkarni quipped as follows: _ ' and that is in abundant supply."
00
"Mr. Modyrs American system of dry E:{change Of Compliments
bat~ must be in bed; We people are
Indians. Our bath is in the bathrooms. II SHRI M.S. RAMACHANDRAN: Mr. Chairman,
II:.'
i. '

I
.
00 Sir, I am afraid, the Hon'ble Minister is n:;:
I I
I"
I '

,
It' 1,-
. u:., '-nmr- ~I
 16 17
properly briefed. I am sorry to say that. support to the Finance Minister, another
Member, Shri Bhupesh Gupta said:-
SHRI JANARDHAN POOJARI (MINISTER OF,
STATE FOR FINANCE): Sir, I think the "Sir, in the film world we have got
non 'ble Member could not understand my extras. I beg to know whether in the
answer. Cabinet also we have introduced that
MR. CHAIRMAN: Don't exchange compliments. system. I would like to know the
Please answer the question. answer. Because we have got Cabinet
00 Minister, Ministers of State and Deputy
Ministers. Now, I want to know whether
Exporting Agent you have developed the system of
During the supplementaries to a extras as we have known in the film
question on the provision for replacing of world."
tracks and purchase of Railway wagons in
the Sixth Five Year Plan, Shri Indradeep Shri Sinha while expressing his
Sinha criticised the Government's policy of ignorance of what Shri Gupta was aiming at
importing metre gauge rails instead of observed that in the film industry there are
manufacturing them, because it caused also jokers.
delay. Shri Piloa Mody interrupted to say
that the delay was caused not by importing Thereupon, Shri Bhupesh Gupta
it but by manufacturing it. Shri Sinha retorted thus:-
retorted as follows:-
"That is also the role of the extras. No
"You are not the sole importing agent. filmstar gets money by becoming a
There are so many others." joker. Therefore, that is a job for the
MR. CHAIRMAN: No, no, he is not an extras."
importing agent. He is an exporting agent. 00

S~~Ri PILOO MODY: I export ideas on a

barren market.
00

::xtras In The Cabinet

During a general discussion on Budget

:.S71-72 , after Shri H.? Sinha had finished
~:5.8 speech by wcic~1 :103 gave an ali-out
 18 19

Fat Persons Have Enough Patience quotation of a poet which says:

SHRI P. SHIV SHANKAR: If my Hon'ble "Ill fares the land, to hastening ills a
friend does not have the patience to listen to prey.
me, I am very sorry. I cannot help it. Where wealth accumulates and men
decay;"
SHRI PILOO MODY: I am supplying you the
patience. I will only make a small change in this
famous quotation and say:
SHRI P. SHIV SHANKAR: You need not
supply. You are patient enough. That is "Ill fares the land. to hastening ills a
why you are so fat. prey,
00 Where files accumulate and men delay; ."
, 00

Fifteen Thousand Tonnes and Piloo Mody

Final And Semi-Final
. The Minister for Agriculture, Rao
Birendra Singh was answering Shri Piloo PROF: C. LAKSHMANNA: Finally -. this is
Mody who expressed dissatisfaction over the final - I have a word about the junior
reported export of 15000 tonnes of Sugar. artistes, otherwise known as "extras".

RAO BIRENDRA SINGH: The quantity of SHRI N.K.P. SALVE: His every "Final" is
15000 tonnes, Mr. Mody, compared to your "Semi-final" •
size is very small. '
VICE-CHAIRMAN: Quarter-final.
SHRI PILOO MODY: Several things compared
to my size are very small, including you. SliRI V. GOPALSAMY: It is "League
00 system."
Files Accumulate And Men Delay
PROF. C. LAKSHMANNA: We will go to the
While speaking on the Administrative final and win the trophy
00
'fribunals Bill, 1985, Shri R. Ramakrishnan
observed as follows:-
Fit For Dancing Institution
"Madam, in this connection, I would like . .
'~'he House was' discussing the. matter
you to be reminded of a famous
regarding the allegations made against' Shr~
 20 21

Kanti Bh~ Des~,. son of ShIi Morarji Desai, Going To The Orbit
former PrUDe MInIster. 8hIi Manubhai Patel
who. rais~d a point of order spoke very During supplementaries to Starred
feelingly In favour of Shri Desai with a lot Question regarding congestion in the
of movement of his limbs. Shri Bhupesh Geostationary Orbit in space Dr. (Smt.)
Gupta who was watching him closely Najma Heptulla wanted to know from the
observed:- Minister what the Government of India was
doing to prevent foreign probing satellites
"Sir, I have listened to his point of which were being put in the Geostationary
order. If the movement of his hands if Orbit. Shri Piloo Mody said that they were
the movement of his fingers is releva~t, going to put Usha* into Orbit.
. he should be sent to some dancing
institution. " Smt. Usha Malhotra immediately reacted
00 as follows:-

Fitting Compliments To Minister "I do not mind going provided you come
along so that I could leave you there
S~RI PARVATHANENI UPENDRA: I am not and come back myself."
gomg ~o ask any questions. But I would 00
only like to compliment him* for "'he
~normou~ pains he has taken-pains not O;ly
In knowmg but also understanding at least
half the -queries we raised. The other half
he. could get away with, with his charming
smile.
00

*Shri Madhavrao Scindia Minister of State in *Smt. Usha Malhotra, a Lady Member of the
the Ministry of Railways'. Rajya Sabha.
/
 22 23

He Does Not Jump But Schouts Ignorance Of The Subject

The House was .considering the Stamp SHRI RAJ BAHADUR: I do not think that
and ~xcise Duties Bill, 1971. In the course anybody else can produce anybody else's
of hIS speech, Shri S •S • Sanyal said as children.
follows :- SHRI BHUPESH GUPTA: You have shown
your ignorance of the subject.
IIln this connection, Sir, may I have a 00
very unfavourable matter raised here? I
hop~ my Hon'ble friend Mr. Yajee will Information, Not Protection
not Jump up. II
Dissatisfied with the reply given by the
Shri A.D o Mani thereupon replied :- Minister of Education, Dr, P. C . Chunder
during supplementaries to a question on the
IIHe does not jump up. He only shouts 0 II number of scheduled castes and scheduled
00 tribes students in Jawaharlal Nehru
University, Shri Sitaram Kesri addressing
Holding The Baby the Chairman said that he needed his
protection. Shri Piloo Mody thereupon
Duri~~ the question hour, Shri Om
quipped:
Mehta, MInIster of State in the Ministry of
~~rks and .H.o~sing was answering a question "You do not need protection. You need
vill the facilitIes for drinking water in the information. "
ages0 When the Minister informed the
~ouse that the Accelerated Rural Water Interested in Chicken
upply P~ogr~mme was in the State sector SHRI V. GOPALSAMY: Sir. I am very sorry
~he follow~ng mteresting exchange took plac~ to say because of the callous attitude of
etween him and Shri A. G. Kulkarni. India, because of the indifferent attitude of
India. because of the low- key approach,
SHRI A. G. KULKARNI: You are only holding because of the chicken-hearted approach of
the baby.
the Indian Government to the Sri Lankan
problem ...
SHRI OM MEHTA' That' . MR. CHAIRMAN: People will be interested in
has to hold th b b'd IS nght, somebody
e a y. chicken.
SHRI KHURSHID ALAM KHAN: Sir, I really
SHRI
a t A. G~ KULKARNI'. Why do you . accept-' do not know whether the Hon'ble Member is
.P ren age when you cannot take care of it? -." a vegetarian or a non-vegetarian.
00
•. •.•..• . _. 00
 24
25
Last But' Not The Least
Leave Us In Peace
SHRI M.S. GURUPADASWAMY:Madam Deputy . . the question
Chairman, having called me the last Speaker, The House was discussmg f the
you have given me an opportunity to say the b the Government 0 .
of abuse y. owers of the Presld~nt
last word on behalf of the Opposition on this Ordinance makmg p f the Constitution.
subject.
under Article ~23 aRamamurti. who was
Interrupting Shn POt for issuing a large
DEPUTY CHAIRMAN: You may not be the criticising Governmen during the recess of
least!
number of Ordinanc~~ Zakaria asked Shri
00 Parliamen~. Dr: dR~;tqhow many Ordinanc~s
Ramamurtl to fm the Government. m
last Call-girl had been issued by. t' West Bengal
Kerala and the Governm~n P ~ rule. Shri
DUring the diSCUssion on a Call which were under the acivi~eci Dr Zakaria
Piloo Mody stood up an d
0

Attention regarding the startling disclosure

made by Mr. Daniel Patrick Moynihan, a as follows:-
former U. S. Ambassador to India regarding
payment of U. S. money for election purposes uest Mr. Zakaria to
"Sir. I would req f the West Bengal
in India, there were frequent interruptions become a MemAber~lies simultaneously
from various sections of the House; d Kerala ssem "
particularly Shri Jagjit Singh Anand and :~d leave us in peace over here. 00
Shri Piloo Mody were having an altercation
Shri Mody at one stage doubted the
knowledge of English of Shri Anand and looking More Into Faces Than Things
asked a third Member, Shri Bhupesh Gupta,
to read out the disputed portion in Mr. . The trouble with
SHRI BHUPESH GUPTA' looking into so
Moynihan's' book "A Dangerous Place." Shri
Bhupesh Gupta said:- you. S~ ' is th~~
many thmgs. I
x~t
are
know how long I. will
things looked mto.
have to live to have my
(Interrup tion)
HIt is written here: 'My last call in
India was Pileo Mady.' Thank God, Mr. CFAIRMAN: But I can .tell you. I am
Piloe Marly was not a woman. Otherwise, ~~king into more faces than thmgs. .
1::.ewould have written 'My last call-girl 00
was PileD Mody. '"
00
 26 27
Marriage: Fusion Not Confusion SHRI KALYAN ROY: Let him be exported.
. .The House was discussing the Hindu MR.. CHAIRMAN: There are many unessential
Marnage (Amendment) Bill moved by Shri commodities, some superfluous also.
S.S. Chaurasia.
00

SHRI K.K. MADHAVAN: Sir, I think the Minister Is Always Right

mover of the Bill himself has been confused
It is a product of confusion of confused The House was disucssing a question on
thinking. '
the constitution of an International Naval
Force Armada for patrolling the Gulf Area.
SHRI YOGENDRA SHARMA: Marriage is also Commenting on the answer given by the
a product of confusion.
Minister in the reply to a supplementary.
SHRI K.K. MADHAVAN: Shri Piloo Mody said:-
Fusion not
confusion. There is a lot of difference
between fusion and confusion. "On this occasion. the Minister is right.
Most surprisingly, the Minister. is
00 right. "
Minister: An Unessential Commodity
Shri P. V. Narasimha Rao. Minister of
Shri Jagannath Pahadia, Minister of External Affairs told Shri Mody that .he
State .for Finan.ce was replying a question would surprise him more and more by bemg
r~gar~n.g the mdustrial units. Apparently always right. Shri Piloo Mody thereupon
dissatIsfIed with his performance Shri replied as follows:-
Kalyan Roy observed as follows: _ '
"You are becoming like your boss.
"Sir. we should also take note of the (reference to Prime Minister, Smt.
performance of the Ministers. Mr. Indira Gandhi). She says she is always
Venkataraman * has disappeared." right. Sometimes to make some mistake
is human."
This led to the following exchange: 00

SERI PILOO MODY: Minister Minister's Faces On The T •V •

is an
unessential commodity.
SHRI N.K.P. SALVE: 1 do not for a moment
agree that there is any pOli!ic.al ~ter!erence
'~R.efers to the Minister of Finance. whatsoever . I have workea ill It. ~xcept,
when Mrs. Gandhi told me once "Please do not
t>
 28
29
show the Ministers too often. II She said IIIf
you want to show some programmes in which some anxious moments. what has
the Ministers are there, kindly give happened to you. II
importance to programmes and do not show 00
the faces of the Ministers too often. II
Moolchand Or MalColm
SHRI JASWANT SINGH: Ministerial faces are
quite entertaining. Do not deprive us. Do While participating in a debate Shri
not deny us.
Pattabhi Rama Rao. Minister of State in the
Ministry of Finance. referred to Dr, Malcolm
SHRI S. W.DHABE: We are not averse to it. S. Adiseshiah, a member of the House, as
Dr, Moolchand* S, Adiseshiah. The Minister
SHRI N.K.P. SALVE: Mr. Jaswant Singh and was immediately corrected by some other
Mr. Dhabe consider that they have been member saying that he was not Moolchand
very generous to the Ministers. I put it to but Malcolm Adiseshiah,
Mr. Gadgil that if you want a bigger
entertainment, people like Mr. Jaswant Singh On this Dr, Bhai Mahavir quipped:-
and Mr. Dhabe should be shown.
00 1'1 think . the Minister cannot do
Missing Minister anything without referring to . the
notes. II
The House re-assembled after lunch at
8 minutes passed of 2' a Clock. 'Some of the
Members were agitated because the' concerned
Minister was not present, At this stage, the
Home Minister, Shri H. M. Patel was seen
entering the House hurriedly. Seeing him ,
Shri Bhupesh Gupta Said:-

IISir , we spent two minutes very

anxiously because the Minister was not
coming. I was thinking of making an
a.nnouncement over the All India Radio
that the Minister is missing and sending
a message to the Police Commissioner.
Good heavens he has come. We passed
*Shri Moolchand Daga is a member of Lok
Sabha.
 30 31
Mothers Of ConfUl;.ion Kerala. He does not want to say where the
danger is coming from.
While participating in a debate, a
member used a certain expression which was SHRI B. SATYANARAYAN REDDY:? If that
ordered to be expunged. Reacting to this lady has no son. how will she address.
Shri Piloo Mody said that in the English
language it is a perfectly acceptable SHRI N. E . BALARAM: I do not know that.
parliamentary expression to say that Ask the Minister.
something is a mother of something else, and 00
the remark was not meant literally in the
sense in which some members had interpreted
it. He was therefore, the. last person to
accept expunction of an innocent remark like
that from the proceedings of the House.

MR. CHAIRMAN: I have already ruled on the

subject. • . Mr. Piloo Mody, I find many
mothers of confusion in this House .
•
11 SHRI PILOO MODY: Now I think they will
not ask for expunction of your remarks. You
have insulted them much more than anybody
here could have.
00
My Son's Father

SHRI N.E. BALARAM: In Kerala, suppose

you ask a Namboodri lady, I mean a Brahmin
lady, what her husband's name is. She \\Jill
never say that. She will only reply. "The
name of my husband is my son Is father. "
SUppose she is asked to recite the Mantram
of .I!arayanaya Namaha an9- suppose her
husband's name is r.larayana, she ",ill say
i ll.>iy son I s father Namaha." Like that, the
I Fcreign ~;inister is like that Brahmin lady in
f
 32 33

No Question When Ladies An~Quarrelling Obsolete Landing Instrurr.ents

In question hour an altercation took It was during the question hour that
place between Shrimati Usha Malhotra and some members were asking supplementaries
Shr~ati Margaret Alva. At this stage the on the question on insufficient landing
Charrman called upon Shri Bhandare to put instruments at airports, when the Minister.
his question, Shri A,P, Sharma, informed the House that
the landing instruments were not outdated.
SHRI BHANDARE; Sir, I cannot put my But his statement was contested by Shri
question when two ladies are quarrelling 0
Ramakrishna Hegde,

MR, CHAIRMAN: Naturally. nobody can, SHRI PILOO MODY: How old are they? As
00 old as Mrs. Usha Malhotra, for instance?

Not Creditable Not To Have A Son SHRI A, G. KULKARNI: Sir. you as a Judge
decide whether two decades old technology is
Shri Bhupesh Gupta was speaking in obsolete or not. '
favour of the demand that the
correspondence between the Prime Minister MR. CHAIRMAN: I do not know. Mr.
S~~ Morarji ;Desai and the Union Hom~ Kulkarni. how old are they.
Mmlst~r, Shn Charan Singh regarding SHRI A. G. KULKARNI: I say they are two
alle!5atlOns and counter - allegations made decades old.
agaInst each other's family members should
be laid. on the Table of the House. In this MR. CHAIRMAN: They say, they are
connection, he talked as follows:- up-to-date.
SHRI A.G. KULKARNI: I am not mentioning
"Why can't you lay it on the Table of anybody1s age here as Mr. Piloo Mody
the. House? What is the difficulty in it? does .••
!t IS because Prime Minister's son is
mvolved? I do not have a son' Mr MR. CHAIRMAN: Mr. Pileo Mody needs a
Piloo Mody, have you got a son?' Well' special instrument. 00
even being married you do not have ~
son? It is not a credit on your part." One Baig As Good As Another
Shri Piloo Mody thereupon quipped:- MR. CHAIRMAN: Mr. Aiyubbaig. He is
interested in the Gujarat floods.
ilIt is one of my SHRI IRSHADBAIG AIYUBBAIG MIRZA: I am
greatest
qualifications. Ii
Irshadbaig .
00
•
34 35

MR. CHAIRMAN: It does not matter. One Baig Pass Fer ~pouse, I ot For Spice
is as good as another Baig.
00
SHHI MADHAVRAO SCn.mIA: Just one
clarification I want to have. Is he talking
One Who Is Present Cannot L1epresent about the companion or his wife/spouse?

SHRI PILOO MODY: Sir, what about Question VICE-CHAIRMAN: (SHRI R. RAMAKRISHNAN):
No. 303? He is talking about both.

MR. CHAIRMAN: The Member is absent. SHRI RAMCHANDRA BHARADWAJ: There are
bachelors also.
, SHRI PILOO MODY: Sir. I am present.
SHRI R. MOHANARANGAM: Spouse or
MR. CHAIRMAN: You are present. but you companion. Let it be both.
cannot represent.
00 SHRIMATI KANAK MUKHERJEE: I have paid
Rs. 320 today.

SHRI R. MOHANARANGAM: Spouse and

companion will not travel simultaneously. It
is better to have one.

SHRI MADHAVRAO SCINDIA: I am reminded

of what Mr. Jagjivan Ram said when he was
the Railway Minister. He was asked whether
this pass would be restricted only for the
wife or also for the companion. Mr. Jagjivan
Ram answered: "The pass is for the spouse.
not for the spice."

SHRIMATI KANAK MUKHERJ-EE: Vlhat is this?

There is a difference between the two. We
have to pay extra.

VICE-CHAIRMAN: That is what the Banlble

Member is making a request. t>
 ':">.l
37
36 "t, .,

attention on the non-availability of

SHRI R .. MOHANARANGAL: "Spices" are not foodgr8.ins in varlous\"parts 'of'.ihe 'country.
expected to pay. Referring ,to the situation. in West Beng~.
00
'Shri Lokanath Mi.sra expressed hIS
Preventing Heart Attack dissati~faction and stated'" '.t~at~ '.. some
supporters of either the Congress' Party or
Shri Vishwanath Pratap Singh. Leader the C.P.1. who own fair price shops do not
of the House. while felicitating Dr. (Smt. ) allow food grains to percolate down to the
Najma Heptulla on her unanimous election as consumers.
~ •

'
.1 '. •

the Deputy Chairman observed as follows:-

Sir. this House. as you know. does not
II
Shri Bhupesh Gupta added that)t was
always deliberate; it also fulminates and reported in some papers, that two .verr close
Sir. you have seen one instance of it. associates of Mr. Kashl Kant MOltra, have
On such occasions I am sure. her been arrested in a prostitute'shouse. Dr.
presence will be a soothing balm for her K. Mathew Kurian thereupon observed:-
research for Ph.D degree has been a "They should have been procuring
research on the anatomy of the heart wheat and rice. They were procuring
and I am sure she will not allow us. more soft stuff. II
sitting either on this side or on the 00
other side. to give each other a heart
attack. II ProteCting The' Counfry ,
. .'
00
When Shri Yogendra Makwana. the
Private Fight Minister of State in the Ministry of. Horne
Affairs was replying to a question on the
DR. RAFIQ ZAKARIA: Sir. this kind of deportation of foreign national~ from Assan:
running commentary by Mr. Mody should the Chairman intervened. Shu N. P . Shahl
stop.
'got an impression that the Chairman was
siding with the Government and told him not
MR. CHAIRMAN: You can have your private to do so but protect the interest of the
fight outside.
Members. To this the Chairman :replied that
he was not protecting the Government;
S"~RI PILOO MODY: Sir. he is afraid of :rather he was protecting the country.
ITiseting me outside.
00
*Food and Civil Supplies 1Ai~ister in the West
F'rccurement Of Soft 5t'-"ff . Bengal Government.
:"he House was discussing a calling
 38 39

Shri Piloo Mody thereupon remarked: Rabies And The Elections

The House was discussing a starred
l'If you want to protect the country. we question on detection of Rabies Disease in
will send you to the borders, Sir. Delhi; Shri Purabi Mukhopadhyay asked the
Right now, you protect our interests. Mini.ster when you catch stray dogs, what do
00 you do with them?
Purchase By Minsiter's Wife MR. CHAIRMAN: I thought, Mr. Piloo Mody,
will have much to say about rabies ...
The Minister of Commerce, Civil
Supplies and Steel Ii Mines (Shri Pranab SHRI PILOO MODY: I have already said that
Mukherjee) was replying to supplementaries since the last election * the danger has gone
to a starred question on the price of edible up in Delhi.
oils. Apparently dissatisfied with the 00
answer, Shrimati Purobi Mukhopadhayay said Relativity In Time
as follows : -
DEPUTY CHAIRMAN: We now take up
"Sir, the house-wives like to know General Budget discussion. Shri Nirmal
whether the Civil Supplies Minister or Chatterjee. May I tell you, Mr. Chatterjee.
anybody in the Council of Ministers has your party has got 43 minutes. and I expect
visited a market to purchase oil?" you to finish in 40 minutes.

The Commerce Minister quickly replied:- SHRI NIRMAL CHATTERJEE: We have to

remind Dr. Heptulla, the Scientist, that time
"So far as this question is concerned. I is a very very relative concept as has been
am glad to answer that at least my wife established in the earlier century.
visits market and she purchase for
herself. " DEPUTY CHAIRMAN: Not since I have taken
the Chair.
00
Before passing on to the next question
the Chairman had the last say: Reversed Roles
Shri Piloo Mody want~d to make some
HI hope after this assurance that the submissions when the Minister was answering
wife of the Honlble Minister goes to t>
purchase oil, everytlling is brought. to
".1 his notice. Ii *The General Elections took place in
co Janum-oy. 1980 which returned Congress ( )
to power.
 40 41

a. question. The, Chairman did not allow Shri Searching The Bathrooms
iltlOdy to speak and told him that nothin
would. be recorded while he' (Chairman) wa~ VICE-CHAIRMAN (SHRI BANKA BEHARY
standing. . DAS): Mala Sinha *, not Mala Singh •••

SHRI PILOO MODY: I am sitting." SHRI BHUPESH GUPTA: I do not go to

films. Therefore, I stand corrected.
MR. CH:AIRM~N: I am standing.
VICE-CHAIRMAN (SHRI BANKA BEHARY
SHRI ~ILOO MODY: Unfortunately; the roles DAS): So you should not talk about it.
are ~el?g r:eversed. The person who should
be. sItting IS standing and the person who SHRI BHUPESH GUPTA: We saw that in her
should be standing has to sit. bathroom Rs. 20 lakhs were found. Well, I
do not know how many bathrooms are to be
00
searched. Now this is happening. Therefore,
you should go after them but not in the bad
sense of the ,term. I do not ask Mr. Shukla
to go after them in the wrong way. I ask
him as a tax collector to go after them and
collect the money from them. 00

Sense Of Timing

SHRI PRANAB MUKHERJEE: Here, the

question is, five instalments of DA have
oecome due. What we have said in the
statement is that, we have not yet taken a
decision on making the actual payment. It
would not be possible for. me to indicate
when exactly or at what point of time it
would be possible for us to make the payment.

SHRI SURESH KALMADI: Just before the

elections. I can tell you the timing. co

*She is a famous film star.

",

!; t'

I, I
 42 43
Signs Of Backwardness discrimination on ground of sex alone as
on ground of religion. Therefore, you
While speaking on the Report of the will excuse me Sir... Madam. due to
Commission for Linguistic Minorities. Shri habit we address you as Sir. But the
T .N • Singh. a Member made the following General Clauses Act says 'a male
speech in his effort to prove how much includes a female'. Eve was born out of
anglicizing was going on in our national life: the very flesh of Adam. that is what
the Old Testament teaches us."
"In my own life in the last 50 years I 00
have seen the Western or anglicized way
of life becoming more popular in this Sleeping Not Sitting
beloved country of ours than it was 50
years ago. We want to flaunt that we During the oral answer to a question on
are modern by indentifying ourselves the number of members of the Christian
with the Western way of living, There community in Kashmir, Shri Bhupesh Gupta
are people who in their own home call dissatisfied with the reply given by the
their father"daddy". their mother Home Minister angrily demanded:
"mummy" and the child "baby". And if
I were to call my wife "Shrimatiji". I "Here is the Prime Minister sitting. Why
will be thought backward." is he not answering the questions?"
00
Shri Piloo Mody quietly stood up and
Sir Versus Madam jocularly remarked:-

The Minister of Law and Justice, Shri "He is not sitting; he is sleeping."
Asoke Sen, during his reply to the 00
Constitution (Fifty-Second Amendment) Bill,
1985. while explaining his repeated slips in Soft And Hard Drinks
addressing the Deputy Chairman, Dr.(SmL)
Najma Heptulla as 'Sir', said as follows:- While replying to a supplementary
during question time Agriculture Minister
"Now, Sir. .• Madam, when a Madam Rao Birendra Singh inter alia said that he
adorns the Chair, we forget 'our pledge did not know much about soft drinks because
to God to thank him for making us man he did not use them. This evoked following
becc.~se we forget that this country is mir'thful exchanges: '
basen on equality between. the sexes
and the Constitution forbids MR. CHAIRMAN: I warn the Minister that on
"
l>
~:
 44
45
this statement of his a supplementary might
be asked. without the subject and one could ramble on
everything. I think, you are, perhaps, a
SHRI A. G. KULKARNI: You go in for hard
champion in that.
drinks.
SHRI N.K.P. SALVE: He means soft drinks SHRI BHUPESH GUPTA: I am very glad I am
also. reminded of your college days. One thing
you have not said. How many times you have
RAO BIRENDRA SINGH: In soft drinks I am
passed and how many times you have failed.
only fond of lassi and milk.
SHRI KHURSHID ALAM KHAN: Even at this VICE-CHAIRMAN (SHRI A.G. KULKARNI):
age. 00
For your information, I am a graduate in
science.
Sound And fury
SHRI BHUPESH GUPTA: I am glad to hear.
The House was considering the Coal You look like a graduate. I agree.
00
Mines Labour Welfare Fund (Amendment)
Bill, 1980. During the course of the
discussion, Shri Kalyan Roy referring to the Special Interruption
Minister's reply, observed as follows:-
As soon as the Minister of Civil
"I know you are very fond of Aviation Shri A. P. Sharma finished reply to
Shakespeare. He writes in r acbeth: lit a question regarding Feeder Air Service for
is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound Himachal Pradesh, and Smt. Usha Malhotra
and fury and signifying nothing'." stood up to ask a supplementary thereon,
Shri VLltram Mahajan, the concerned Shri Piloo Mody shouted:-
Minister retorted as follows:-
"Next Question?"
"That is what Mr. Kalyan Roy normally
does." GO Smt. Usha Malhotra retorted:-

S.paaking Without The Subject "What do you mean? Since when have
you become the Chairman?"
VICE-CHA .•.RMAN (S"JRI A.G. K' LKARNI):
In my college days I remember, t:1ere used Mr. Chairman thereupon observed:-
t'J be an elccution competition of speaking
"This is a special interruption for you."
00
 46
47
Spill Over The Charm
Thing Of Beauty is Jo)' Forever
Dr. (SmL) Najma Heptulla. while
Vlhen the question of election of Deputy
replying to the felicitations offered to her on
Chairman was being taken up and Shri M S. 0

her election as Deputy Chairman said as

Gurupadaswamy while objecting to the failure
follows: -
of the Ruling Party to arrive at a concensus
with the opposition on a mutually agreed
II Mr, Prime Minister has said that I
candidate for Deputy Chairman. observed
might spill over. So if I have any inter alia:-
charm or if I could have developed some.
influence. I would definitely like to spill
11 I know, Sir, a thing of beauty is a joy
over to not only win over the hearts
but also the heads of the people near forever. Dr. Najma is a beautiful Member
of the House. If the Ruling Party wanted
whom you have brought me to sit. II *
beauty we also could have given beauty
00 from here. II (referring to Opposition
Benches) 0

Mr. Chairman thereupon said;-

"I do not know whether the other side is

aware of that. II

Subsequently. while felicitating Dr.

(SmL) Najma Heptulla on her election. the
Leader of the House (Shri Vishwanath
Pratap Singh) reacted as follows:-

II Mr. Gurupadaswamy. said if it

were a question of beauty. they could
also have presented one. If that were
to be the terms of negotiations. perhaps
I would have entered into it earlier. II
00
*When not presiding. Deputy Chairman
occupies a seat next. to the leader of the
largest group in the Opposition.
 48 49

Understanding Of Marx Unique Felicitations To Deputy Chairman

On His Election
SHRI KALYAN ROY: I vms studying in the
United States in 1949-50 •.• After Shri Shyam Lal Yadav was elected
as the Deputy Chairman of the Rajya Sabha,
VICE-CHAIRMAN (SHRI R, RAMAKRISHNAN): members belonging to various political parties
and groups in the House started extending
Shame.
their felicitations to him. Thereupon the
SHRI KALYAN ROY: In fact. they should be following exchanges between the Chairman
and Shri Piloo Mody took place,
ashamed because they exposed themselves. It
was there that I understood how Marx was
SHRI PILOO MODY: Mr, Chairman, Sir, to
correct.
00
begin with. I must express my regret. that
on this occasion you have behaved exactly as
Mr. Shyam Lal Yadav in permitting Mr.
Sharma. before you allowed me to speak.

MR. CHAIRMAN: You represent only 15. He

represents so many more.

SHRI PILOO MODY: It does not go by

numbers over here. I have been trying to
tell you this for a very long time.

MR. CHAIRMAN: If it went by weight, there

is another person I should have asked.

SHRI PILOO MODY: I am very conscious of

it. And if it went by brains also certainly
the Opposition will be first.

MR. CHAIRMAN: You would have lost on

many fronts then.

SaRI PILOO MODY: As I told you aarlier, I

have no fronts. I am round. Now with your
permission. I beg to move a vote of
 50 51
J
congratulations to my friend. Shri Shyam Lal Weight Reducing
Yadav, on having come and sat with us in
spite of being in the bad company of those During supplementaries on a Starred
gentlemen and ladies. yes, I see you Saroj ~* Question Shri A •G• Kulkarni made the
Well I never forget you. I have no doubt in following observation:
my mind that my good friend, Shri Shyam
II I will tell you why particularly my
Lal Yadav will continue to be as partisan as
he was in the past, But I will only plead friend Mr. Manubhai Patel is so much
with him that now that I have moved closer / interested in Bangalore. Sir. it is
I will be able to extend a certain 'amount of because there is a weakness. His wife
physical control over him. if not moral is going to the weight reducing ashram
pressure ••• and Mr, Piloo Mody also goes to the
weight reducing ashram. That is why
MR. CHAIRMAN: I think something of you he likes Bangalore.
may get rubbed off.
Mr. Chairman thereupon said:-
SHRI PILOO MODY: I hope a great deal will
rub off. my regret is that there is no chair "He can refer to Mr, Mody twice over
next to you ••• but do not refer to a wife here."
00
MR. CHAIRMAN: I would not sit here then.

SHRI PILOO MODY: I want to assure my

good friend, neighbour and colleague that I
wish him very happy times in the Chair with
the least amount of acrimony and warn him
that if he does not behave himself. when he
returns to this Chair I will sit on him.
J

00

* Refers to Kumari Saroj Khaparde.

 - "
.
I
,
I
,r 8'
.
!

HTER MOMENTS
IN TH:~
RAJYASABHA
.'~~a.31'
RA:J~L." -A SUPPLEMENT
 L I G H T E R MOM E N T S .
IN THE
RAJYA SABHA

- A Supplement

RAJYA SABHASECRETARIAT .
NEW DELHI
.1986

"It" II
32-8.3J LIGHTER MOMENTS IN THE RAJYA SABHA
!<- -1- L
 RL-2

1st Impression July, 1985

I :

2nd Impression August, 1985,

PRE F ACE TOT HE
Supplement May, 1986
SUP P L E MEN T

'.,1

A booklet entitled "Lighter Moments in

n b'l0 L.brl.ry
~ 5-0-"1
) .yo.
l••:1J ~l). \";" the Rajya Sabha" was brought out in July
0
~ N' No .. "( )"",\"
. 1985 containin g instances of wit and humour
•, - •• I ~
•.. . . culled out from the proceedings of the Rajya
Lib. NO'''o'r'li:~'q ••. Sabha. The publication proved to be an
nate l . ~......•••
instant success. It was received
enthusiastically by the members and got rave
reviews in the press. The popularity of the
booklet could well be gauged by the fact
that the first print-run was exhausted
barely within a month's time obliging us to
go in for a reprint.

As promised in the maiden issue. a

'Supplement' to the "Lighter Moments" has
,.I" been brought out containing instances of wit
- ready. quick and nimble - sallies. humour.
ripostes. mirthful exchanges and pleasantries
from the proceedings of the Rajya Sabha
during its 135th and 136th Sessions i. e. the
monsoon and winter sessions of 1985. These
instances. as in the' previous edition. have
been arranged alphabetically. with suitable
headings and appropriate narratives where
necessary. Where the key sentences are in
Published by Hindi. the original have been reproduced
Secretary-General, Rajya Sabha followed by a running English translation
thereof.
 I hope members will find them
tranquilising, equalising, interesting and
solvent in which tension in the House is PRE F ACE TOT HE
dissolved. If there are interesting instances FIRST EDITION
of humour in the possession of any member or
Ii if they have suggestions for improvement, the
same may kindly be communicated to Shri
M.C. Banerjee, Deputy Director in the Rajya Humour in Parliament makes an
Sabha Secretariat for incorporation in the interesting subject of study. In
future edition of the publication. parliamen tary democracy based on party
system, Parliamen t often functions under
great stress and strain and the atmosphere
in the House for part of the day remains
surcharged. But even in the midst of
SUDARSHAN AGARWAL, confron tation, one comes across instances of
Secre tary -General. wit, wisdom, and amusing remarks. Most of
these are made in a lighter vein and serve
as oases, as it were, in the dry desert of
NEW DELHI; verbal duels. Non~ of these exchanges are
The 12th May. 1986 pre-rehearsed or pre-meditated and that is
precisely why they are so good. They are
the products of lively and vivacious minds
reacting instantly to a particular situation;
words often uttered by persons who could
normally claim no particular ability to be
witty. Cutting across the party lines or
political differences these crisp observations
often serve the purpose of lightening the
atmosphere in the House which otherwise
could be serious and tension-ridden. Without
these, the debate and proceedings of the
House would be sterile indeed.

'"A few such instances of witty, pawky

and drolly statements have been culled out
from the proceedings of the Rajya Sabha and

I'
 A cup of good coffee

included in this booklet. I hope members While Shri R. Ramakrishnan rose to

would find them interesting. Members are speak on the Coffee (Amendment) Bill, 1985,
also requested that in case they are in the following witty exchanges took place in
possession of any interesting instances of the House.
humour or wit in the Rajya Sabha, or if they
have any suggestion for improvement they SHRI R. RAMAKRISHN AN: Madam Deputy
rnay kindly be passed on to Shri M.C . Chairman, I am speaking on this Bill for two
Banerjee, Deputy Director, Rajya Sabha reasons, Firstly, I represent this August
Secretariat so that the same could be House on the Coffee Board.
incorporated in the next issue of this
publications which is proposed to be brought THE DEPUTY CHAIRMAN: You can brew it
out at periodic intervals. very well.

SHRI R. RAMAKRISHNAN: Thank you very

SUDARSHANAGARWAL, much, Madam, for the. compliment.
Secretary -General
SHRI JAGESH DESAI: You can give us some
NEWDELHI; coffee.
The 1st July, 1985
SHRI R. RAMAKRISHNAN: I will give you
something better now... for the sake of the
Secretary-General's Lighter Moments in the
Rajya Sabha. I start with how President Tito
of Yugoslavia described good coffee should
be. He said, 11 A cup of good coffee-it is a
cup that cheers--should be as hot as the
,I Sahara, as dark as the new moon light and
II-pardon me, Madam-11 as sweet as sin! 11
00

A rose remains a rose, call it by any name

During supplementaries to' a Starred

Question on the recommendations of the Joint
meeting of Chief Justice, Chief Ministers and
Law Ministers, the following interesting
exchange took place: l>
 2 3

SHRI PARVATHANENI UPENDRA:..... And Minister) earlier regarding setting up of Rail

the Government, in its anxiety to find Coach Factory in Kapurthala (Punjab),
committed judges, are delaying the advised the latter "to add his weight in the
appointment of new judges. I would like to right place." *
know from the hon. Minister when will he fill
up, the existing vacancies so that the heavy Thereupon, the following repartee took
pendency of cases in courts may be reduced. place in the House:

SHRI ASOKE KUMAR SEN: I am sorry I have THE DEPUTY CHAIRMAN: I thought you
not been able to disillusion Mr. Reddy of his were suggesting to him to drop weight.
committed ideas of having committed judges. I
have to say very emphatically. ,. SI-IRI MADHAVRAO SCINDIA: Madam, I would
have been open to misunderstanding.
SHRI PARVATHANENI UPENDRA: Sir, let him 00

correct my name. Age is a quality of mind

SHRI ASOKE KUMAR SEN: I am sorry, I While participating in 2 debate on the
apologise. Mr. Upendra is the leader of his University Grants Commission (Amendment)
party, I know. Bill, 1985, Shri Ramchandra Bharadwaj,
,f
while agreeing with the age limit of 65 years
MR. CHAIRMA~I: It is a very serious mistake. for the Chairman of the UGC, suggested that
the tenure of educationists should be
SHRI ASOKE KUMAR SEN: Yes, it is a very extended upto 70 years of age, provided the
serious mistake and my profuse apologies. But persons concerned had been medically
Mr. Upendra remains Mr. Upendra, by declared fit, because with growing years
whatever name he is called. As Shakespeare they become more and more accomplished and
has said, a rose remains a rose, call it by, experts in their respective fields.
any name, and even if we call it by some
other name, it remains a ;rose. And so Mr. The Deputy Chairman [Dr. (Smt. )
Upendra will remain a rose always for us. Najma Heptulla] thereupon quipped:
00

Adding and dropping weight "Age is a quality of mind."

00

Shri Madhavrao Scindia J Minister of State

in the Ministry of Railways, while answering * (Shri Vishvajit Prithvijit Singh is a member
to the point raised by Shri Vishvajit Prithvijit with a hevy built)
Singh on the statement made (by the
C>

);.

, '
 4
1 Application for Ministership
full answer.
5

After that I will allow you.

As soon as the Leader of the House, I have been allowing you, but only
after he finishes. You prevent him from
Shri Vishwanath Pratap Singh had finished
giving an answer. It is not correct.
introduction of new Minister to the House,
You please wait. II
the following repartee took place:-
Shri Madhavrao Scindia, Minister of
SHRI R. MOHANARANGAM: The House is full
State in the Department of Railways,
of Ministers. They outnumber the Members.
thereupon, quipped:
Not even one from this side.
"Both are bearded* lions. II
SHRI VISHWANATH PRATAP SINGH: You can 00
propose the name; we can consider it.
Bitter to the last
THE DEPUTY CHAIRMAN: Mr. Mohanarangam
might propose his own name. ~he House wa.s discussing a Calling
AttentIon. on ~he Immediate need to pay
SHRI K. MOHANAN: You send an remuneratIve prIces to sugarcane growers for
application; they will consider It. their produce in view of fall in production of
00
sugar. Speaking on the subject, Shri M.
Kadharsha observed:-
Bearded lions
"Madam Deputy Chairman, sugar is
The members -'. were putting sweet, so also the Minister, but not the
supplementaries on a Starred Question sugar policy of the Government. It is
regarding purchase of Airbus in place of bitter to the last. II
00
Boeing 757. Shri Suresh Kalmadi was not
satisfied with the reply given by Shri Black beauty
Jagdish Tytler, Minister of State in the
Department of Civil Aviation to a certain While participating in a short duration
supplementary and was repeatedly discussion on the statement regarding report
interrupting the Minister to extract a of the National Institute of Public Finance
satisfactory answer. The Chairman then put and Policy on "Aspects of the Black Economy
an end to their verbal exchange by telling [;>

Shri Kalmadi:
*Both Shri Suresh Kalmadi and Shri Jagdish
"You must allow the Minister to give his Tytler sport beards.
[;>
 7
6
buildings without foundation and so no
in India", Shri Nirmal Chatterjee remarked:
bottom ... (Interruptions) ..• 00
"Mr. Vice Chairman, Sir, despite quite
a beautiful couplet in Bengali literature, Bulky drug
a free translation of which means -
While putting supplementaries on a
If black you consider to be that Starred Question members were concentrating
bad, why do you weep, Madam, on the issue of production of various drugs
when your hair turns grey? by the IDPL. The Deputy Chairman [Dr.
(Smt.) Najma Heptulla] called Shri Vishvajit
black is considered to be beautiful in Prithvijit Singh to put the last
certain circles in our country. But supplementary thus:
presently, Sir, the mood of the House
seems to reflect that we are all SHRI VISHVAJIT PRITHVIJIT SINGH: The
concerned with black income, black last drug.
wealth and the report on black money This triggered off the following mirthful
and black wealth." 00 repartee: .I
SHRI VASANT SATHE: That is a bulky !
Bottomless construction drug.* .
SHRI VISHVAJIT PRITHVIJIT SINGH:
During the course of supplementaries on Madam, yes, it is a bulky drug and it is a
a question regarding construction of bulky question.
defective houses by the DDA, the following
drolly interlude took place: THE DEPUTY CHAIRMAN: Let us see how
effective it is.
SHRI M. KADHARSHA: Madam, there is SHRI VASANT SATHE: We will get it from
rampant corruption in the DDA from top to the basic stage.
bottom.
SHRI VISHVAJIT PRITHVIJIT SINGH: It is
THE DEPUTY CHAIRMAN: Why talk of top? not basic ~tage. It is an intermediate stage.
00
We are talking of the bottom ...
(Interruptions) .•.
*The reference is to Shri Vishvajit Prithli"':-
SHRI K. MOHAN
AN: They are constructing jit Singh who is known for his obesity.
[>
 8 9
Car Vs. truck Change of Portfolio
When a Starred Question. regarding While participating in the debate on the
restrictions on resale of vehicles was being Indira Gandhi National Open University Bill,
answered in the House, Shri R. 1985, Shri R. Ramakrishnan inadvertently
Mohanarangam enquired from the Minister referred to the Education Minister as Home
whether there was any proposal on the part Minister. This led to the following exchange:
of the Government to lift the ban and give
an opportunity to the Members of Parliament THE DEPUTY CHAIRMAN: Education I
to register their names for the purchase of Minister. Do you want him to become Minister j
Maruti vehicles, The Chairman observed that j
for Home Affairs?
although the supplementary was not relevant
to the main question, he would allow the SHRI R. RAMAKRISHNAN:I am sorry, yes,
same as it might be of interest to the Education Minister. I hope he will get a
members, The following repartee, thereafter, change of portfolio after he delivers the
took place in the House: goods. 00
SHRI ARIF MOHAMMADKHAN: I do not
know if Mr, Mohanarangam will be personally Coffee at tea time
interested in the Maruti car which is a small
As soon as the Minister of State in the
car.
Ministry of Commerce and Supply (Shri P. A.
MR. CHAIRMAN: No deals can be st.ruck Sangma) finished his speech moving the
here. motion for the consideration of the Coffee
(Amendment) Bill, 1985, the following
SHRI R. MOHANARANGAM:Mr. Chairman, I
know fully well that the Maruti car will not pleasantries were exchanged:
accommodate me*,.. Even the Ambassador car
will not accommodate me. (Interruptions) SHRI JAGESH DESAI: There are only two
Where is my guru ?** He is absent. •. persons who take coffee and both are
Ministers. Therefore, this may be passed
MR. CHAIRMAN: Please supply Mr. without any discussion.
Mohanarangam with a truck.
00
THE DEPUTY CHAIRMAN: Though it is tea
*Shri Mohanarangam is a very hefty member.
time, we do not mind having coffee.

**The reference here is presumably to Shri SHRI DIPEN GHOSH: Let the Ministers serve
Vishvajit Prithvijit Singh, who is known for coffee.
his corpulency. 00
 10 11
Comedy of errors Concentrating too much on lady Member

In the course of supplementaries to a The House was having a short duration

Starred Question, a member, Shri Kailash discussion on the statement on textile policy.
II Pati Mishra sought to put, a supplem:nta::y While Minister of Supplies and Textiles, Shri
!I on floods. The Chairman did not permIt him Chandra Shekhar Singh was speaking, a
to put his question on the ground that the member, Miss Jayalalitha intervened. Another
main question related to drought. The member, Shri Ramchandra Bhardwaj raised a
member was supported by another member point of order on this. The Minister replied
who argued that as per the Hindi version of that, although' no member has the right to
the question, it pertained to 'floods'. intervene while the Minister is speaking, he
Thereupon, the following mirthful exchange wanted to give this right to the lady
took place: member.

MR. CHAIRMAN: There is a comedy of Thereafter, the following pleasantaries

errors. The English version o,f t?e qu~stion were exchanged:
deals with drought, and the HmdI verSIOn, I
am told, deals with floods. Therefore, the SHRI CHANDRA SHEKHAR SINGH: I am
question I have before me is about drought. referring to the hon. lady Member. You are
I do not know in what language it was put trying to compete with the hon. lady
originally. About floods you can put a Member.
separate question.
DR. SHANTI G. PATEL: If you want to
SHRI BDTA SINGH: Fully submitting to your compete, I will leave the field open for you.
ruling, we are prepared for floods also. You are capable.

SHRI B. SATYANARAYANREDDY: Shall I SHRI MADHA VRAO SCINDIA: You are

put my supplementary on drought or on concentrating too much on the lady Member.
flood? 00

MR. CHAIRMAN: In view of all the noise Contributions of Modern Science

that has been made, you may put
supplemen taries on flood,: fire, drought, While speaking on the Appropriation
everything. (No.5) Bill, 1985 Shri Mostafa Bin Quasem
00 inadvertently addressed the Chair* as
[>
*The Deputy Chairman, Dr. (Smt.) Najma Heptulla,
had been presiding over the House when Shri
Quasem had started his speech.
 12
13
11 Madam11 when the Vice-Chairman Shri
Chimanbhai Mehta was in the Chair. The ~ricket: Smt. Margaret Alva, Minister of
following exchange came as a sequel to that .:.>t2.tem the Departments of Youth Affairs
inadvertence. and Sports and Women's welfare retorted as
follows:
AN HON. MEMBER:Not 'Madam', but 'Sir'.
11Cricket does not need it. Weare
SHRI NIRMAL CHATTERJEE: This is one of talking about those who neea' 1't-
••
(I nterruptions) The hon. Member would
the contributions of Modern science - the
transformation of sex. also agree that Ivladhavrao Scindia does
00
not, need money to sponsor sports in
lI.aahya Pradesh. 11
Debate on Sports or Madhavrao Scindia
,Shri Madhavrao Scindia had the final
During the course of supplementaries on say In the matter with the followincy trump
a Starred Question regarding new talent in card: b

sports, Shri N.K.P. Salve enquired whether

Government were willing to give financial Ills sports being debated or is
help to good cricket associations such as the Madhavrao Scindia being debated?1l
one in Madhya Pradesh under the 00
presidentship of Madhavrao Scindia so that
they could find new talent. Shri S. W. Dhabe Dinner ••nd breCJttfast fer fi.embers
commented that those associations did not
need money. One member thereupon quipped: The House was having a combined
de~ate ox: the Futwah - Islampur Light
"Madhavrao Scindia does not need any RaIlway Lme (Nationalisation) Bill, 1985 and
money. 11 th e Appropriation (Railways) No. 5 Bill,
1 g85. After a member had finished his
The Chairman wittily commented: sp~ech'T the Deputy Chairman [Dr. (Smt.,
IIMr. Salve, you are a lawyer. If they NaJma H~ptullaJ proposed to scrap the lunch
give to Madhavrao Scindia, they will r~cess m order to enable the House to
say, according to law, a fraudulent dIspose of the long list of business slated
preference. 11 f~r the day. This led to the fol1owinrr
mIrthful exchange: eo

Later on, Shri Salve remarked that not THE DEPUTY CHAIR"lI'"
"' _1\ ••• ": \"',e are not having
a rupee of support has been given to lunch today.
t>
 14 15

SHRI D. HEERACHAND: Then you can give Disaster Developli1erit Programme

me more time.
While speaking on a Call Attention
THE DEPUTY CHAIRMAN: We are scrapping Motion on the situation arising out of floods,
lunch time in order to sit till 9 0 I clock. drought and other natural calamities in
various parts of the country, Shri M.S.
SHRI D. HEERACHAND: You take away Gurupadaswamy pointed out a discrepancy in
lunch time and don't give more time ... the statement of the Minister of State in the
Department of Agriculture and Cooperation
THE DEPUTY CHAIRMAN: I do not mind if (Shri Yogendra Makwana) in the following
you want to have you your dinner here •.. words:

SHRI MADHAVRAO SCINDIA: Madam, ladies "However, while reading the statement,
are food givers. I have found an expression which is
rather very amusing. In the same page
THE DEPUTY CHAIRMAN: I will provide you - page 5 - in the last paragraph, the
dinner as well as breakfast if the House sits statement says that there is going to be
for longer time. 00
a "Disaster Development Programme! I!
What is this "Disaster Development
Programme?1! I do not understand."
Disadvantages of being non-vegetarian
This led to the following witty
During the supplementaries to a exchange:
question on the subject of fish caught by
foreign chartered trawlers, the following SHRI YOGENDRA MAKWANA: It is Drought
interesting exchange took place: Prone Area Development Programme.
SHRI NIRMAL CHATTERJEE: Sir, I am a SHRI M.S. GURUPADASWAMY: Here it is
&trict non-vegetarian. "Disaster Development Programme. I!
!viR. CHAIRMAN: Don't say that. Otherwise SHRI YOGENDRA MAKWANA:It is a mistake.
you will be denied vegetables in our dinners
and lunches. SHRI M.S. GURUPADASWAMY:I am glad it
is only a mistake!
SHRI NIRMAL CHATTERJEE: If those are 00
replaced by non -vegetarian things, I have Docter good c,t (ii"!;l:,c.~is, bad c:t ;:.r",:zcrip!ion
no objection. 00
In the course of supplementaries on a
C>
 17
16
problems faced by the farmers. In this
Starred Question regarding review of context the member sarcastically remarked:
performance of public sector undertakings,
Shri P. Upendra v,as trying to hammer home '" .~ ~ '~""C'\eI.~ .~ '~I!"~\ ~\1i>\
a point that while the Minister of Industry ••.• 0.....
(Shri N.D. Tiwari) identified the reasons for .~~ ~~ ~ -.:::x{a;\~\ ~ ~~
the losses incurred by some enterprises,
did not suggest anything to solve them. In
he -W ,
~C\'lC\\
'~
~
""&
\ Q'\\C<\,,","~'f\~,{~<\'\-\~,
,;Il:c.\ ~
- ~-

this context he characterised the rl.inister's ~ \ C\iS ~ ~ ~tc\"'~ ¥ ~~\ ~

statement thus: Q\J~\ ~ ~ ~ am '~~A\~ ~
~
~
CSJ\'A\C\\ '~
~
•• , •• ~
\~'
liThe Minister sounded like a doctor
good at diagnosis but bad at [A cat can never be relied upon to
prescription. II guard against pilferage of milk nor can
a tiger play a shepherd to the goat.
A little while later, still not satisfied But the Government has the tendency
with the Minister's clarifications, Shri of doing things in the wrong way. It
Uoendra stated that he was convinced about engages cat for protecting milk and
his comments on the Minister. However, the makes tiger tend to goat.]
00
Chariman came to the Ministers' rescue and
rebutted the member in a lighter vein thus: .Double century by Minister
~J::.'\.~~~tit;c:.the
prescription failed. What can he
SHRI R. RAMAKRISHN AN: Madam, before
do?" 00
you adjourn the House (for lunch), I wish to
Doing things the .!rong V'lCJ)'
compliment the honourable Minister. I know *
he -is a cricketer. Yesterday he was the
opening batsman. He piloted this Criminal
While participating in the debate on the Law Amendment BilL Overnight he continued
Agricultural and Precessed Food Products in the Question Hour. Now he is continuing
Expert Cess Bill, 1985, Shri Hukmdeo with this and after lunch he is going to
Narayan Yadav was trying to hammer home a move a motion on the UPSC reports. So he is
point that the various welfare projects
making a double century. So I want to
launched by the Government for the farmer compliment him on his achievement. 00
did not serve their cause because the
personnel ::-esponsible for implementation were *SlJri K.P.S,inglJ Deo, Nillister of State in the
elitist and have absolutely no idea about the Department of Personnel and Culture.
[>
 18 19
Easy time for Ministers rang out. Shri Kaushik requested for three
more minutes, to which the Deputy Chairman
During Question Hour on a particular assented. The following exchange,
sitting a number of members (as many as thereafter, took place:
six) whose questions were listed for o:al
answers, were absent when called upon oy SHRI M.P. KAUSHIK:•. :rhis bell gives a
the Chairman to put their question. complete full stop, not even a semicolon.
Thereupon, the Chairman quipped:
THE DEPUTY CHAIRMAN: I wish it has the
I1Ministers are having a very easy same effect on everyone. For some people it
time. 11 00
acts as an incentive!
00

Easy way to prosperity Elephantine Love-making

During the course of supplementaries to The House was having a debate on the
a question regarding alleged favouritism present international situation. While
shown by some banks in granting loans to a participating in the debate,. Shri Jaswant
near relativ~ of the Haryana Chief Minister, Singh characterised the debates on foreign
the following witty interjection took place: policy in a lighter vein as follows:-
•
SHRI M.S. GURUPADASWAMY:Mr Chairman, 11 I cannot help reflecting that
Sir, I think it is very easy to become whenever I have been a witness to
prosperous in this country if one is lucky to discussions and debates on any foreign
marry the daughter of a Chief Minister. policy - and I have had occasion to say
(Interruptions). It looks like that. Sir, .•. this earlier I am reminded of
love-making between elephants: it is
MR. CHAIRMAN: Have you any regrets now? always conducted at a very high level,
it is accompanied by a great deal of
SHRI M.S. GURUPADASWAMY:Sir, I and noise, and we don't come to know of
you are ruled out because of age ..• 00 the results for at least two and a half
years! 11
00
Effect of Time Bell
Extra-ordinary appetite
Shri M.P. Kaushik was speaking on the
Indira Gandhi National Open University Bill, In the midst of discussion on a
1985. As his time was finished, time-bell Government motion on the Seventh Five Year
C> Plan, Shri Sitaram Kesri, Minister of State in
C>
 .L

20 21

the Ministry of Parliamentary Affairs Shri Rajiv Gandhi humorously remarked:

requested the Deputy Chairman [Dr. (Sm~.)
Najma Heptullal not to adjourn the House tor 1I0ne of our biggest problems still is
lunch-break and to continue the discussion. that of population. Of course, it does
This led to the following interesting not affect our friends across the
exchange between the Deputy Chairman and Benches because their population seems
Shri Nirmal Chatterjee: to be dwindling." (Interruptions).

THE DEPUTY CHAIRMAN: So this is agreed. Shri Sat Paul Mittal, thereupon,
So, Mr. Chatterjee, there are three minutes quipped:
left out of your time which I give you. IIThey are implementil1g one programme
at least. II
SHRI NIRMAL CHATTERJEE: Instead of
going for lunch, I consume the lunch hour Shri Rajiv Gandhi added:
here. IIAt least in the two Houses. II
THE DEPUTY CHAIRMAN: I never knew you Shri P. Upendra had the last say in the
had such an appetite. 00
matter when he retorted:
IIToday's results* indicate otherwise. II
Fair in Beauty & Treatment 00

During the course of discussion on the Feudal God

Punjab Appropriation (No.3) Bill, 1985, the
following exchange took place: While participating in a Call Attention
Motion on the situation arising out of floods,
SHRI PARVATHANENIUPENDRA: Madam, I drought and other natural calamities in
thought you are fair not only in beauty but various parts of the coun try, Shri R.
in treatment also. Mohana~angam w?o was trying to bring home
the pomt that It was not possible for the
THE DEPUTY CHAIRMAN: I am very fair. I Governm.ent o~ Tamil Nadu to stop the
will give you five minutes. 00
devastating rams and cyclonic storms and
. t>
*The reference is to results of the elections
Family Planning in real sense
held in Assam and bye-elections in several par"
ts of the country on 16th December 1985.
While intervening in the debate on the
Seventh Five Year Plan, the Prime Minister,
J>
 22 23
warn all the people living near the numerous The Frime Minister, Shri Rajiv Gandhi
lakes to vacate the areas, remarked that immediately quipped:
o Lord Varuna - the rain-god did not
ev~n h" 1 d t
forewarn them in their dreams. T IS e 0 "Mr. Chairman, Sir, the team we field
the following exchange: depends on the opposition we face."
00

SHRI K. MOHANAN: God is cruel.

Flood of agitation
SHRI R. MOHANARANGAM: God is cruel, with
the blessings of our Mohanan. What to do.
The House was discussing the flood
situation in the country. While speaking on
DEPUTY CHAIRMAN: He has influence there
the same, the Minister of Irrigation and
also?
Power, Shri B. Shankaranand commen ted:
SHRI K. MOHANAN: That is a feudal God.
00
"An Hon'ble Member asked about the
floods in Gujarat. His complaint was:
There is drought in Gujarat. Where
Fielding team depending on opposition
comes the flood? I do not know whether
The Minister of State in the Ministry of the Hon'ble Member has ever known
what has happened on the 19th of July
External Affairs, Shri Khurshid Alam Khan,
was answering supplementaries to Starred in Ahmedabad and Baroda, I hope they
are in Gujarat. II
Questions relating to Foreign Secretary's
visit to Sri Lanka and Thimpu talks on the
Shri Shankar Sinh Vaghela, thereupon
Tamil issue. Shri Jaswant Singh t~ok
quipped as follows:
objection to it saying that the PrIme
Minister being there, may handle awkward
III was in Gujarat. There is no
question's himself rather than fielding the
complaint about flood. But agitation
junior team.
flood is there. II
00
Chairman thereupon remarked:
Foundation less Houses and Heartlessness
"It is for the Ministers to decide. You
cannot say who should answer. II During the course of supplementaries on
l> a Starred Question regarding construction of
l>
 i
Ii 24 25

I defective houses by the DDA, the following Gandhis Everywhere

.1 witty exchange took place:
While taking part in the debate on the
SHRIMATI USHA MALHOTRA: These houses Government Motion on the Reports of the
are without foundation. Please donIt be Commissioner and Commission on Scheduled
heartless. These are foundation-less houses. Castes and Scheduled Tribes Shri
Chaturanan Mishra inter alia stated that in
SHRI ABDUL GHAFOOR: I am sure I am not Bihar Harijans are being killed everyday by
going to break your hear:t because hon. the private armies and he felt that if this
Khushwant Singh is also sitting here and he situation continues there would be no other
will take note of it. Therefore, I am not alternative for the Harijans but to take up
going to do that. 00 arms. He then commented with sarcasm:
4
10 ~ ~ ~ ~''"i:\C\1 ~ ~ ~ ~
From Himalayas to Ooty
~ ~ ~ '\l\ti\c.;\\ .~ ~ -">\'(,\'(,\
Shri G. Varadaraj put the following ;:
~ ~ ~ ~ S\C ,5\~'5>C\1z... ~ ,

supplementary on a Starred Question ): ,

regarding development of some parts of the -5\x,,{~ ~, ~~"" ~ ~ ~ SlC.~-
Himalayas as Tourist Resorts: ~ ~-ux~ <S"'\~\ ~'l:\\"Zci\~4. ~
"Madam Deputy Chairman, while my ~ \ ~"'\ ~m& '~"'&\SCfiZ ~ .~ :!.'.
colleague was mentioning about the ~~\ ~ ~ ~~ ~ ~ ~C\)~\ \" ~
I
Himalayas, I am more concerned about
Ooty which is a place of very scenic (Sometimes I used to think that this
beauty. " country needs another Gandhi, another
Ambedkar. But the new Ambedkar will
The Deputy Chairman [Dr. (Smt.) Najma have to be armed. An unarmed
Heptullal quickly rebutted the member in a Ambedkar would not be able to solve
lighter vein: the problem.)
Shri Kalpnath Rai tersely commented:
"That supplementary does not arise out
of this. We cannot go from the c.<.~ .~~~~'"~ ~'~
,
Himalayas to Ooty. It takes some time. "00
(What will Gandhiji be like?)
 26 27

Shri Chaturanan Mishra replied: Gold for Min ister I Lemon for P. A.

(t~ ~ ~ '¥- ~ ;~ ~~<\\ \

In the midst of a discussion on a

~.<m~~~~~\ a;m\ W~ \ Private Members' Resolution for establishment

of separate development boards for
~~~~\n
"*" ~ "\\~ 'R. G\~(\\
,
lL~ Vidarbha,
Maharashtra,
Marathwada and Konkan regions in
the fonowin g digression served
(I do not wish to say anything about as a humorous interlude:
Gandhiji. If he comes back it would be
a different story. I leave it to the SHRI VITHALRAO MADHAVRAO JADI-fAV:
ruling party to determine how he would Our people are going mad after this Bhagwan
be like.) Rajneesh and Satya Sai Baba. These people
are having crores of rupees. I do not know
An honourable member had the last say where Satya Sai Baba has gone. I will give
when he commented in the same vein: you an example of Satya Sai Baba. Two
, ,,~~ ~~~~ ~ ew:n\J' Minister and one P. A. went to him.
*" ~~ "f\\~ ~~ ~ ~~~:Z ~ ~~
(Now-a-days one could see Gandhis ~~ ~ ~ ~i\~t:.~.~~ ~~~\
everywhere.) 00 ~~~ ~c~'~~~c:n\~~
~\ ~~'~~~~~OIM\
Going vertically and returning horizontally ~~~ \'W- *,~~f:(~ .~.~-:>t:'l\"
While asking supplementaries ,on a ~ ~~ ~ t'-{t\~\W\ 1k \ ~ ~WS\et,~~\~~
Starred
A .I.I.M.S.,
Question
Shri
regarding
Jaswant
degeneratlOn
Singh remarked
of \''{ <)(tI\4') L\~ ~
I request that in a secular country we
sarcastically: should not go to these mad caps of heaven.
They have not come from heaven. ~
"I am fortunate that I have not had the
opportunity to visit that Institute but it
" 3C\{'\~TS\~ \.~.~ ~ Ci\\~~)" .:£\\\R
is quite commonly said in Delhi that you ~~~~~~~en~~~
go vertically and come back ~ \" .

horizontally. " (You [Shri JadhavJ did not disclose who

drank the lemon juice.) 00

The Chairman, thereupon, cryptically * (Sai Baba gave watch to one. Minister and
remarked: gold ring to another but the poor P.A. got
only a lemon . Everyone gives lime to the
"I suppose lalive'." poor. I am against persons like Sai Baba and
00 Rajneesh. I am against Sectarian beliefs).
 29
28
Harassment by laciy Merr,ben;
Guillotine with a Smile

During the course of a Calling Attention While the Hon. Member Shri H.
discussion on the delay in assenting to Bills Hanumanthappa had started seeking
passed by State Legislatures and reserved clarifications on the statement made by the
by Governors for the consideration of the Minister of State in the Department of
President, some members suggested a Rail:vays, Shri Madhavrao Scindia, regarding
time-limit to be prescribed in the settmg up of Rail Coach Factory at
Constitution within which the President Kapurthala (Punjab), some lady members had
should give his assent. When Shri V. gathered together behind the Minister's seat.
Gopalsamy was about to start seeking They Were talking amongst themselves which
clarifications on the Minister's statement, the distracted the Minister's attention, and
Deputy Chairman taking a cue from the thereupon the followin g repartee took place:
suggestion referred above, commented in a
lighter ft:em- vein: SHRI lv'LADHA
VRAO SCnmIA: Madam ..•.

"While we are discussing the time-limit THE DEPUTY CHAIRMAN: He has not
on the Bills, we will have to put a finished yet.
time-limit on the speeches."

Piqued by it Shri Gopalsamy said: SHRI MADHAVRAO SCINDIA: Madam, I seek

your protection. These five Hon. lady
"If you want me to speak, I will speak. Members are harassing me.
, I
Whenever I rise, immediately you say
something and I lose the mood to speak. THE DEPUTY CHAIRMAN: I would request
It happens everyday. It happened last the Hon. lady Members to go to their seats.
time also when I took only five minutes
(Interruptions) ."
SHRI H. HANUMANTHAPPA: Fortunately, a
The Deputy Chairman had the last word. She lady Member is in the Chair,
quipped:
THE DEPUTY CHAIRMAN: I think because of
"I guillotine him with a smile." the lady Members the lv'rinister- wants to run
his train faster.
co
00
 30 31

Healthy Trend general complaint of paying thousands of

rupees every year for excess calls, there
After the Law Minister moved a motion are two instances when money was deducted
for concurring in the recommendation of the from my salary. In the first instance I was
Lok Sabha that the Rajya Sabha do join in informed that 'You have made a phonogram
the Joint Committee on the Lok Pal Bill, call to Bombay costing Rs.124/-I asked them
1985, some members expressed concern over to send me the text. They did not do this. I
the non-inclusion of a lady member on the went on \vriting and they quietly sent me a
Joint Committee. In the midst of the cheque of Rs.122/- after deducting Rs.2/-0n
discussion the following interesting exchange the second occasion again Rs. 52/- was
took place: billed against me and the amount was
deducted from my salary. I made a protest
SHRI R. RAMAKRISHNAN Madam, I just and again after deducting Rs.2/- they sent
want to say that the House has got a me a cheque.
beautiful Deputy Chairman in you and we
have got a beautiful Minister of State for MR. CHAIRMAN: You seems to be very
Parliamentary Affairs in Mrs. Margaret Alva, lucky.
but still they forget ladies.
SHRI INDRADEEP SINHA: ....•• I would like
DEPUTY CHAIRMAN: Thank you very much to know from the Hon. Minister what action
for the compliments .••• (Interruptions) I am has been taken in pursuance of my specific
very happy to note that not only the lady complaints against specific officers of the
Members but the gents also are bothered department.
about the representation of ladies. It is a
very healthy trend. SHRI RAM NIWAS MIRDHA: .•.•.... As
regards glvmg him rebate on a number of
SHRI PARVATHANENI UPENDRA Lip occasions, I can assure him that we will
sympathy. continue doing' so whenever he makes a
00 complaint.
How to earn rebate MR. CHAIRMAN: Not only to himj you must
give t.o others also.
The Minister of Communications was
00
answering to supplementaries to a Starred
Question relating to disconnection of STD If wishes wet'e hot'ses
facilities. Referring to STD calls, Shri
The Prime Minister, 5hri Rajiv Gandhi
Indradeep Sinha observed as follows: was speaking by way of intervention to the
SHRI INDRADEEP SINHA: Apart from the debate on a Government motion on the
C> C>
 32 33

Seventh Five Year Plan, The members of the The Chairman, thereupon, remarked:
treasury benches cheered the Prime
11 That is why their salaries are being
Minister's reply by repeated thumping of
desks. A member, Shri P. Upendra increased. You have to vote it today. 11
interrupted the Prime Minister by saying:
An Hon'ble member retorted:
When you are here, they get all the
vigour. 11 IIYou are also included in that. 11 *
00
This led to the following witty
exchange: Influence of Narcotics
SHRI SAT PAUL MITTAL: You get confused
hecause of our thumping? The Minister of State in the Ministry of
Finance sought to move the motion for
SHRI NIRMAL CHATTERJEE: I ",ish it were consideration of the Narcotic Drugs and
a little more. Psychotropic Substances Bill, 1985 amidst lot
of interruptions and commotion in the House.
SHRI RAJIV GANDHI: Well, if wishes were At this point the following repartee took
horses, I do not know what you will be. place:
00
THE DEPUTY CHAIRMAN: Well, is this a
walk-out on the Narcotics Bill or what?
Increasing Ministers' Selaries
SHRI NIRMAL CHATTERJEE: Under the
Dr.'. Shyam Sunder Mohapatra put the influence of narcotics.
following supplementary on a Starred 00
Question regarding schemes for welfare of
children: Interested in Zoo
11 Sir according to the Minister's reply,
While seeking clarifications on the
every child gets Rs. 150, then oil, then
I>
soap and what not. I do not know if
the Minister's own grandchildren have
*On this day (20-12-85) the House passed a
so much in these days of poverty. 11
I> batch of five bills increasing inter alia the
sa1ar ies and al.lowances of Niniste--;:;;- and.
Officers of Parliament.
 34 35

statement made by Shri B .R. Bhagat,

Minister of External Affairs on Prime THE DEPUTY CHAIRMAN: Five minutes I
Minister's visit to Vietnam and Japan, Shri agree ••..• (Interruptions)
Jaswant Singh made the following
introductory remarks: SHRI PARVATHANENI UPENDRA: She is
very liberal when she is not
"Madam, among other things which I hungry .• ~... (Interruptions) ....
want to say about the Prime Minister's 00
visit, which have been underlined by
• various other colleagues on this side, is Living Among Animals
about his visit to the Tokyo Zoo. From
the statement of the hon. Minister for While participating in a Call Attention
External Affairs it appears that he did motion on the situation arising out of floods,
not actually visit the Zoo. So, I would drought and other natural calamities in
have liked to ask the Prime Minister various parts of the country, Shri Ramanand
how he found the zoo and how those Yadav stated that in the flood affected
two baby elephants are doing? How are areas, animals die within one hour of
Asha and Daya, because it forms part consuming the grass carried by flood waters,
of the Minister's statement." which fact the Deputy Chairman might not be
aware of.
THE DEPUTY CHAIRMAN [DR. (SMT. ) NAJh/.
HEPTULLA I thereupon commented: Thereupon, the Deputy Chairman [Dr.
(Smt.) Najma Heptulla] quipped:
IIWell, I would be interested in it as a
Zoologist. "

Pat came the reply from Shri Jaswant Singh:

IIYes, indeed. I am charmed by what (Animals have been my subject of study)

you say. II
00 Shri Yadav retorted:

L'beral when not hungt')' "~~ 2>~ ~=q ~~ ~~\')

.THE DEPUTY CHAIRMAN: Okay, five more

(You do live among them)
mLnutes.
SHRI V. GOPALSAMY : At times I may take 00
[>
more.
 36 37

Luxury of having lady Members behind Motion on the Seventh Five Year Plan, a
member Shri F .M. Khan interrupted the
While replying to the clarifications proceedings by addressing the Deputy
sought by members on the statement .made by Chairman (Dr. (Smt.) Najma Heptulla] in the
him regarding setting up of a RaIl .C:>ach following manner:
Factory at Kapurthala (Punjab), the MInIster
of State in the Department of Railways, Shri "Madam, Itt wan 0 say somet h ing. I
Madha vrao Scindia said: want to place a few facts before the
House. You know I have been on a
11 • • . . .. Ma d am, I would like to thank the hunger-strike. " *
hon. Members because it is a luxury
which I enjoy on very rare occasiOI:s The Deputy Chairman retorted:
that in the Railway Ministry everyone 15
congratulating the Government....... I "You then go and have your lunch. Do
would like to extend my warm thanks not disturb the proceedings."
and gratitude to all the hon. 00
Members ••..••• "
Member turns bard
Thereupon -the Deputy Chairman
quipped: The House was considering the
Appropriation (No.6) Bill, 1985. The ,
"I thought you were referring to the otherwise staid proceedings on this item had I I
luxury of having five lady members its refreshing moments too when a member I
behind you." * Dr. Rudra Pratap Singh welcomed the Bill I
00 and congratulated the Minister of Finance I
(Shri. Vishwanath Pratap Singh) whom he
Member free to have lunch descrIbed as wise with character and
conviction. The member concluded his speech
When Shri Pranab Mukherjee was r>
speaking on the debate on a Governmen~
*The member was on a hunger strike on the
Boat Club lawns protesting against some
*Ear1ier, when a member (Shri H. alleged irregularities in the bye-election to
Hanumanthappa) was seeking clarifications on the Lok Sabha from South Delhi Parliamentary
the statement made by Shri Scindia, some lady co~stituency held on 16th December, 1985
members had gathered together behind Shri wh~ch the member fougllt as an independent
Scindia's seat and were talking amongst candidate.
themselves.
 38 39

The Deputy Chairman [Dr. (Smt.) Najma

Heptulla], thereupon, remarked in a lighter
vein:
II He is not bothered about the blades,
because he grows beard. *
(Interruptions) I wonder if he smokes.

Shri Suresh Kalmadi replied in the same

coin: .
(Learn not to burn with the Lamp,
"I do like smoking, of Indian brands. II
Learn to smile from it.
Shri N.K.P. Salve then commented:
Learn not to set with the Sun, Learn to
rise from it. "Madam he smokes also! II
00
One ought to ponder, Where one is
placed in the nature's canvas. Minister and drug peddling

Try to be an explorer, And not a Shri Murlidhar Chandrakant Bhandare

treader of beaten track.) was making a special mention on the menace
00
of drug trafficking in the country. The
following repartee then took place:
Member smokes I ndian brand
SHRI MURLIDHAR CHANDRAKANT
During the course of supplementaries on BHANDARE: Madam Deputy Chairman, I want I I

a Starred Question regarding foreign trade the hon. House to share with me the grave
marks in foreign collaborations, Shri Suresh concern and anxiety at the growing menace
Kalmadi inter alia made the following query: of drug trafficking in our country. I am
-- -- particularly gratified that the hon. Finance
IIHas the Government given permission Minister is present in the House because he
to the makers of Rothman and has a lot to do with this peddling of drugs
Chesterfield cigarettes to have a brand and smuggling of drugs .••
name, and if you have not given the
permission, I would like to know what THE DEPUTY CHAIRMAN: What are you saying?
action you propose to take; are you c>
going to cancel their licence? II [>
* Shri Suresh Kalmadi sports a beard.
 40 41

THE MINISTER OF FINANCE (SHRI district' in Maharashtra, Shl-i Suresh Kalmadi

VISHWANATH PRATAP SINGH): I have to do complimented Shri N. D. Tiwari, Minister of
with stopping the peddling of drugs, not Industry as follows:
with the peddling of drugs.
00 liThe no-industry district policy has
been entirely the baby of Mr. N.D.
Minister should run faster Tiwari. In Maharashtra he is called not
as Mr. N. D. Tiwari but he is called Mr.
The Minister of State in the Ministry of N .LD. Tiwari. II
Finance (Shri Janardhan Poojari) was not
present in the House to lay papers on the In reply, Shri N. D. Tiwari stated that
Table of the House. As soon as he came, the as far as his nomenclature was concerned,
Chairman called upon him to apologize for whatever he was, he was at the mercy of his
not being present in the House at the young colleague.
appropriate time. Shri Poojari thereupon
remarked: Thereupon, the Chairman, in a
humorous tone, sought to give his
III am sorry, Sir, I came late. Starred interpretation to Shri Kalmadi's compliments
Questions were there in the Lok Sabha in the following manner for which Shri
and so, I am very sorry, I could not Tiwari thanked him as having given the
come. I came running. I take the correct interpretation:
Parliamentary work very seriously. I
came running also. II lIyou should thank him. He says you
are National Industries Development
Shri R. Ramakrishnan commented Minister. II
00
thereupon:

IIWesaw him running. II Minister's ignorance not greater than member's

Shri P. Upendra had the last say: During supplementaries to Starred

'. Question regarding measures to control
IIYou should run faster. II floods in Assam, Shri Gurudas Das Gupta
00 e?quired whet.her. the two factors, namely
hIgh rate of SIltatIOn and constant failure of
Minister with many nomenclatures the authorities to clear the silt and sediment
were being taken into consideration while
While asking supplementaries on a formulating the so-called Master Plan about
Starred Question regarding a 'no-industry [>

!>
 42 43

which the Minister seemed to be ignorant. New Chairman

Shri B• Shankaranand immediately As the Marshal announced the arrival of

reacted as follows: the Chairman in the House, Shrimati
Margaret Alva, Minister of State for.
"Sir, I cannot claim to have any greater Parliamentary Affairs stepped out of the
ignorance than the honourable Member. Chairman's Room and entered the Chamber to
(Interruptions) ." be followed a few seconds later by the
Chairman. There was laughter in the House
MR. CHAIRMAN:A Good reply! in which the Chairman also joined. The
co
following brief exchange took place:

Modern Hanuman IvlR. CHAIRMAN: Not the Minister of

Parliamentary Affairs.
Dr. Shyam Sundar Mohapatra prefaced
his speech on the debate on the international SHRI P. UPENDRA: Some intruder.
situation by paying the following encomiums
to Shri B.R. Bhagat, Minister for External SHRI R. MOHANARANGAM:I thought she
Affairs in the following words: was promoted.

"Mr. Vice-Chairman, Sir, the Foreign MR. CHAIRMAN:Some day in future.

00
Minister, Mr. Bhagat, has added many
feathers to his cap. One feather he Nobody's b<:by
added in London, another in Bahamas,
the third in Washington, the fourth in While replying to the combined debate
Oman, the fifth in Tokyo and then; of
on the Futwah-Islampur Light Railway Line
course, the last but not the least,
(Nationalisation) Bill, 1985 and the
credit goes to him for the India-China
Appropriation (Railways) No. 5 Bill, 1985 the
official level talks." Minister of State in the Department of
Railways made the following. humorous
Shri Sitaram Kesri, Minister of State in remarks:
the Ministry of Parliamentary Affairs
thereupon quipped: ;.\ "I would like to clarify here that hardly
anywhere in the world is the suburban
"He is a Hanuman." transport the responsibility of the
co
l>
 44 45
railways. But here we have been landed
with a baby no one wants to claim. So
,,~.. ..
One Hon 'ble Member r~QtorteQ"
~q:;4 ~~<iY' ~
we have been forcibly made the father (Artificial teeth can ee put on.)
of the baby. I would like to say that
our full attention - now that the baby •.•.Shri C~aturanan Mishra replied:
has been given to us will be ~qm-~~~11..,\.
•
gIven .•. II 00 ~\ ••.•" ~ ~ ~ ~ I"
(The House could have fixed the
Non-venomous snake artificial teeth, but it also failed.)
The House was having a debate on a
Immediately thereafter Shri Mishra made
Government Motion on Reports of the
the following allusive remarks with reference
Commissioner and Commission for Scheduled
Castes and Scheduled Tribes. While to the Commissioner for Scheduled Castes
and Tribes: .
speaking, Shri Chaturanan Mishra,
caustically remarked: ~ ".~~~~~~~ • • C\~ <>' ~,"-' ~ :, ~ .!f""""<ti\ ~
to'- --ti, ~.~ .> . ~ ~'{4\~ \\:\<=\'\1<::\ ~ ~ eL ~ ~ ~ 'g\S~\ .~
~ '¥~b&d, , or-\~ ~~~ ~ -...

~t ~~~~~~¥t"q"{'~ ~\,,\

~
~ J ~ an"iC: ••" ~
'!l
~ ~.~ ~ I
.,~~ \~ ~ ~ ~. ~"'(\.3\H•.Cf\{~ ~:m::li\.,- ~'\!W., ~~.~ ~, ~'
l\~\ ""dl'>\~~
~ ~ C'~4\\'" ~~,::::.\ a:;Wlu\ ~ ~~\C{~ ~ ~<~ ~.~~ ~q m.~-a.tw
\\~\"X ~i\~ C\\~~ ~ '&~~~, ~.~Wh\ ~ ~'. \" . .

,Snakes are of two types. One which

~ ~ ~ ~~.~~~~-
are poisonous c.nd whose venom is
-in ~, C\~~\{ .~ ~ ~~~~'~<t<lT
extracted out. The others are
~ ~il\C\\ ~ ~ ~ an~\MZ ~ ~~ non-poisonous Dodha snakes. This
~~ \ ~""" ~~ ~ ~.~~ Commissioner is like a Dodha snake who
has neither the teeth to bite nor venom
~ ~~t\' \" to poison its victims.)
(I am not a fatalist, I do not believe in 00
fate. But it seems from the discussion
as though this Report was waiting for Not maiden e'lerv time I

the present Minister of Social Welfare,

Smt. Rajendra Kumari Bajpai to come to Shri Arun Singh, Parliamentary
the scene and salvage it. Perhaps it Secretary to the Prime Minister gave his
was predestined that the Report would maiden answer to a Starred Question
be taken care of by her. Madam, I feel regarding INSAT-IC. Afterwards, when for
that the Commissioner .is without teeth the second time he replied to another
and he cannot be effective without ~
that.) ~
 46 47

question, Shri P. Upendra commented Pilot piloting Bill

"Maiden answer". Thereupon, the Chairman
quipped: The House was discussing the National
Airports Authority Bill, 1985. When his turn
"This is his second answer. The maiden came to speak, Shri M. Kadharsha
answer was given earlier. You cannot unwittingly made the following introductory
go on calling him a maiden every time." remarks:
00
"Madam Deputy Chairman, at the
Operation Successful but patient died outset, I would like to congratulate the
New Minister for Civil Aviation*. He is
During the course of supplementaries to not only young and energetic but
a Starred Question on HEC, Ranchi, the experienced. He is himself a pilot and
following witty interjection took place: we can rightly say that a pilot is
piloting the Bill. Madam, this Bill has
SHRI PARVATHANENI UPENDRA: Sir, the been brought forward at a time.•• "
Honourable Minister's statement reads like a
doctor's report that the patient is very To this the Deputy Chairman [Dr.
healthy except that he suffers from cancer, (Smt.) Najma Heptulla] wittily observed:
tuberculosis, heart-attack and diabetes.
"Are you a pilot, Mr. Tytler. Or, Mr.
MR. CHAIRMAN: Operation was successful Kadharsha, are you confusing him with
but the patient died. Mr. Rajesh Pilot? ** In any case every
00
Minister is a pilot some time or the
other."
Over-pollution 00

Quite a number of members had put Planning the Family

supplementaries on a Starred Question
relating to Ganga Basin Conference: The During a short duration discussion on
Chairman then called for the next question. the situation arising out of steep rise in the
Some more members wanted to put prices of essential commodities, Shri Ashwani
r>
supplementaries on the question. The
Chairman humorously ruled out further * Shri Jagdish Tytler, Minister of State in
supplementaries thus: the Department of Civil Aviation.

has been too much of

** Minister of State in the Department of Sur-
lINo, there face Transport.
pollution. " 00
 48 49

Kumar was trying to hammer home the point This led to the following interesting
that Government always put the alibi of exchange:
increase in population to justify price rise
and that the Government's family planning SHRI N.K.P. SALVE: Your God is in China.
policy was faulty. This led to the following
mirthful exchange:
~'-i\<:\~\<r\,,", ~~
~~~.

.t:?\ V\&.\ ~'"

~
:
""-...
~
.
1.1.
~\H~'l\
~. C{i'\
'he<:~
~. ~
'i\.•\ ~'<~;
*~~~ ..••... ",,)
SHRI NIRMAL CHATTERJEE: By God I have
the Chinese figures but I am sitting
now in India, if you don I t mind.
right

(What planning will the Hon'ble SHRI N.K.P. SALVE: Or your God is in
Member*, do when he has not got a Russia.
'A\:;L f~1il¥J) I, 00
'-';f\ '¥~<'\~ ~'i\\, ~(. ~ .~ ~ ~
'~~~~~;~~~~~~'i\( ~\" Poverty, not poverty line
(My submission is precisely this that we
During the course of supplementaries on
(bachelors) are making a great
a Starred Question regarding people living I
contribution in the process of arresting
below poverty line, the following amusing
population. )
exchange took place between a member and
I
I
.'3L\'\3~\& :"~~.~~~ the Chairman: I

~ ~w~ '-Q-\\.., ~ ~ \H ~
SHRI R. MOHANARANGAM: What are the
(Others make plans, but he plans the
concrete steps taken by the Government to
family)
erase completely the poyerty line?
00

Plurality of God MR. CHAIRMAN: Not the line but poverty.

00
While participating in the debate on a
Government motion on the Seventh Five Year
Price rise, not price fall
. Plan, Shri Nirmal Chatterjee made the
following remarks:
A short duration dicussion on price rise
" •.• For God's sake, or for the Prime ended on a humorous note, as follows:
Minister's sake if he is your God, give
l> SHRI S. W. DHABE: I would like to tell the
consignmen t tax and .•. "
Minister that in Kerala the prices of coconut
* Reference to Shri Ashwani Kumar who is a >
bachelor.
 50 51

have come down and they have come down Auroville (Emergency Provisions) P.mendment
from Rs.4/- to Rs.2/- per nut. Bill, 1985, Minister of Education, Shri K. C.
Pant inadvertently referred to Shri Babul
SHRI PARVATHANENI UPENDRA: He is Reddy as Shri Madhav Reddy. As a result,
dealing with price rise and not fall in the following interesting exchange took place
•
prIces. I in the Eouse:
00
SHRI K.C, PANT: Madam, the han. liember,
Shri Madhav Reddy spoke about. ...
Hare visitor to the hCLIHl

THE DEPUTY CHAIRMAN: Shri Babul R.eddy.

StiRI R. RAMAKRISHNAN: I want to know
whether the Textile Policy discussion will SHRI S. W. DHABE: Mr. Madhav Reddy is in
conclude today and the Minister's reply will Lok Sabha.
be tomorrow. Yesterday also, this point came
up. The Hon'ble Minister for Parliamentary SHRI K.C. PANT: Yes, Shri Babul Reddy. I
Affairs is not there. Last week •.•..•• stand corrected. There are many Reddys in
both the Houses.
MINISTER OF STATE IN THE MINISTRY OF
PARLIAMENTARY AFFAIRS(SH~.I GULAM THE DEPUTY CHAIRMAN: There are many
NABI AZAD) : I am here. ready to speak.

SHRI R. RAMAKRISHNAN: I am sorry. You SHRI S. W, DHABE: Here also we have get
are a rare visitor to the House. That is why more than one Reddy.
I did not notice you. 00

SHRI GHULAM NABI A2AD: I think you are

Research in Corruption
used to Lady Minister only. *
00
While making a special mention regarding
Reddys Ready to spec,k alleged racketing in allotment of telephones
in Delhi, Shri Raoof Valiullah made the
following sarcastic remarks:
While replying to the debate on the
J>
" ..••.. All the corrupt officials who are
'"The reference presumably was to Shrimati thrown out of the Telephones
Margaret Alva, the Minister of State for Department are accommodated in
Parliamentary Affairs. research centres. I do not knew what
!>

!J
 .52
53
research the corrupt official will do
Singh Deo, Minister of State in the Ministry
except research in corruption perhaps. II
00 of Food and Civil Supplies cryptically
remarked: I,
Roses & thorns
II.•... In fact, I was a bit worried ",that
.'
During
discussion
erection
the course
on a Starred
of barbed
of Half-an-Hour
Question regarding
wire fencing along the
just only ten days
Calling Attention here.
back, we hi!rl:1'a
The same very
I
Indo- Bangladesh Border, the following Members were waxing eloquence against
pleasantaries were exchanged bet:veen the the price rise and the same very
Deputy Chairman and Shri Jaswant Smgh: members have been again saying. that
more remunerative prices should be
SHRI JASWANT SINGH: Indeed, I will given. • • •• So, it is running with the
hare and hunting with the hound. II
attempt to confine myself ... 00

THE DEPUTY CHAIRMAN: within the

barbed wire fencing. I am just reminding Seeing directly and speaking indirectly
you.
Members were putting supplementaries
SHRI JASWANT SINGH: From you l-.ladam on a Starred Question regarding manufacture
Deputy Chairman, the last thin g I expected of Dexamethasone. Shri Vasant Sathe,
really was the barbed response ...•. Minister of Energy was replying on behalf of
Shri N. D. Tiwari, Minister of Industry. The
THE DEPUTY CHAIRMAN: The roses are Minister's reply to a supplementary from Shri
always accompanied by some thorns. Vishvajit Prithvijit Singh was punctuated
with several interruptions. The Chairman,
SHRI JASWANT SINGH: As long as I have coming to the rescue of the Minister, advised
the roses, I will put up with the thorns. him:
00

Running with the hare and IIMr. Minister, you should see me and
hunting with the hound speak. You are seeing them directly j
that is why you get into trouble. II
While replying to the clarifications
sought by members on a Calling Attention on
the immediate nee-l to pay remunerative prices Shri Sathe, thereupon, quipped:
to the sugarcane growers, Shri K. P.
I> III see them and speak through you. II
00

:I
 54 _ 55

SeeingtMr. Chairman in every member Shri Shankaranand thereupon observed

-- .::' t-o as follows:
MR. CHAIRMAN: Mr. Minister, please 11
address me. If you address him, you will go I am sorry. If another Shanti had been
on replying to him. there I would have said: Shanti Shanti
Shantill
00
RAG BIRENDRA SINGH: Sir, I see you in
every Member. You are pervading the whole
House. ' Showing back to the chair
[ .
l\,m. 'CHAIRMAN: Tha t is the very reason Supplementaries were being put on a
why I say that you should see me, and not Starred Question regarding manufacture of
others. The subject is very sweet. * Dexamethasone. Interrupting a member who
Therefore, every member wants to speak. was putting his supplementary, the Chairman
addressing Shri M.C. Bhandare jokingly
00
remarked:

.Shanti Shanti Shanti Mr. Bhandare, You are too handsome, do not
show your back •.•..
00
The. House <bas discussin g the statement
o-n• i flood situation in the country. While
Sir includes madam
replying - to the discussion the Minister of
Irrigation & Power, Shri B. Shankaranand
observed that the question of water
When Shri Abdul Ghafoor, Minister of
management and development of water
Works & Housing started replying to a
resources had been raised by two members -
Starred Question regarding defective
two Shantas. The Deputy Chairman corrected
construction of houses by the DDA, he
him to say that it was not two Shantas but
addressed the Chair as 11 Sir 11 while the
two Shantis*twho had raised the issue.
Deputy Chairman, [Dr. (Smt.) ...Najma
HeptullaJ , was occupying the Chair.
Thereupon, the following repartee took
*The subject matter of the question was place:
review of the policy of partial decontrol of
sugar. SHRI ABDUL GHAFOOR: (a) Yes, Sir.
"*Refers to Shri Shanti Tyagi and Smt. Shanti THE DEPUTY CHAIRMAN: Now I am in the
Pahadia who had taken part in the debate. Cha~. ~
 •
"

"

57
56
\
'c. House witnessed the following exchange of
SHRI ABDUL GHAFOOR: I am sorry. (a) repartees: .
Yes, Madam.
I?R. SHYAM SUNDAR MOHAPATRA: I would i'
SHRI R. RAMAKRISHNAN: Very often in this
lIke. to know from the Minister of Tourism as
House
forget
many Ministers
that you are adorning
and other Members
the Chair. It
~o m how many cases this Light and Sound I
In other. words Son Et Lumiere, programme
must hereafter be resolved, every time has been Introduced. Question No. (b) ...
anybody says 'Sir', it includes 'Madam' like
under the General Clauses Act. MR. CHAIRMAN: No. No.
00

DR. SHYAM SUNDAR MOHAPATRA: Sir not

Sitting on a spring (b ~, but Whether it has been introduc~d in
OrIssa ...
The House was discussing the statement
made by the Prime Minister, Shri Rajiv
~HRI ,vISWANATH PRATAP SINGH: Sir,' he
Gandhi in respect of elections in Punjab.
IS makIng only sound but throwing no light.
While replying to the point raised by Shri
00
Dipen Ghosh, the Prime Minister quipped:

"You seem to be sitting on a spring

Superfast question hour
because you keep on bouncing up and
down. II
On a particular sitting of the House as
Thereupon, the following witty many as 10 questions for oral answers were
exchange took place: disp07ed of as against an avera.ge of 4-5
questIOns. Three questions went off without
SHRI DIPEN GHOSH: I do not take off like any supplementaries being put. Starred
him. Question No. 133 was the last question to be
put and the question hour ended on the
THE DEPUTY CHAIRMAN: He only sometimes following hilarious note with Shri Madhavrao
crashlands. Scind~a (Minister of State in the Department
00
of ~aI1ways) being called in to speak by the
Sound sans light ChaIrman. remarking:

During interpellations on a Starred II I am afraid. we are going at a

Question regarding 'Sound and Light' show superfast speed. II
[>
at Sun Shore Temple, Mahabalipuram, the
[>
 58 59
MR. CHAIRMAN: We want the trains to be as SHRI S. W. DHABE: How can there be a time
fast as we are going. limit for you?

SHRI MADHAVRAO SCINDIA: I wish, at the PROF. C. LAKSHMANNA: We only want a

superfast speed I did not end up with an limit' for the prices. 00

accident. 00 Too many "lastly"

Taking lessons properly Dr. Shan ti G • Pa tel had spoken at
length on the Seventh Five Year Plan. As he
As soon as Shri Arun Singh, was about to conclude. he said:
Parliamentary Secretary to the Prime lvlinister
had completed his maiden answer to a "And lastly, I would like to ask ..• II
Starred Question regarding INSAT- IC, the
Prior to this when the member tried to
following witty exchange followed:
conclude he had used the expression "lastly".
SHRIMATI MAIMOONA SULTAN: Mr.
The Vice-Chairman (Shri M.P. Kaushik)
Cha~rman, Sir, I shall be very brief, lest I
interrupted him and jokingly remarked:
should be stopped by you.
IIHow many IIlastlyll you want to have?1I
MR. CHAIRMAN: I am glad you are taking 00
lessons properly.
00 Unique Birthday greetings to Chairman
Time-limit vs. price-limit The Rajya Sabha felicitated its
Chairman, Shri R. Venkataraman, on his
After the members had spoken on a
76th Birthday (which fell on 4th December,
Short Duration discussion on price rise, the
1985) with a dash of solemnity and humour
Vice-Chairman [Dr. (Smt.) Sarojini Mahishi 1
and he responded with his own wit. The
called the Minister of State for Food and
following pleasantries were exchanged during
Civil Supplies (Shri K.P. Singh Deo) to
the course of the felicitations:
reply to the debate. The Ministe:: enq.uired
of the Vice-Chairman how much hme dId he SHRI M.S. GURUPADASWAMY: Sir, you are
have to reply. 75 today, if I am correct.
This led to the following repartee: SHRI HARI SINGH NALWA: He seems to be
thirty.
SHRI PARVATHANENI UPENDRA: If you can
reduce the prices you can have as much time
SHRI B. SATYANARAYAN REDDY: He is 75,
as you like.
but he looks like 35.
S .• RI K.P. SINGH DEO: That I cannot
guarantee. ***
T: E VICE-CHAIRMAN: There is no
restriction for you.

, '
 60 61
SHRI R. MOHANARANGAM:Sir, you have SHRI M. KALYANASUNDARAM: Otherwise,
reached your 76th Birthday today, having nothing will go on record.
already completed 75 years. just a week
back I completed 51 years, you have MR. CHAIRMAN: Today everything said will
completed 75 years today and I am going to go on record ...
see you when you reach 100 years. ,I
*** I
MR. CHAIRMAN: You can fairly be my son.
The Chairman expressed his gratitude
*** to all the members and said in all humility:

SHRI PARVATHANENI UPENDRA: Sir, I join "It is g~od to ~emember a person of my

the Leader of the House and my other a~e. ~f ~he b~l~hng pate, tottering legs,
colleagues in wishing you many happy dlmll1lsh111gVISIonand hearing. " .
returns of the day. You have already 00

completed three quarters of a cent,:ry,. ~nd

definitely, we are sure that you wIll f1111Sh Visit to a Zoo
the century. Shri B. R. Bhagat, Minister of External
*** Affairs was replying to the clarifications
sought by members on his statement on the
SHRI SANKAR PRASAD MITRA: May we wish visit of Prime Minister to Vietnam and Japan.
you a long and useful life in the service of In reply to a point raised by member (Shri
J~s~ant Singh) regarding visit of the Prime
the nation. M1111sterto UENO Zoo in Tokyo, the Minister
MR. CHAIRMAN: I hope it is a judgement. @ was trying to explain that the two baby
elephants Asha and Daya gifted by India to
Japan, were extremely popular amongst
*** Japanes~ and they were symbols of hope,
MR. CHAIRMAN: I thank you all very much compaSSIOn and friendship between the
warmly and sincerely. I think everyone of people of the two nations. Shri J.K, Jain at
you would wish that I had a birthday every this stage intervened to remark jokingly:
day, because I have been liberal in calling
everybody which I do not do otherwise. t>
"Our Members have no love and
affection for human beings; how can
{}This remark was made by the Chairman presum- they have love for animals?"
ably due to the fact that Shri Mitra is a t>
former Chief Justice of the Calcutta High
Court.
 62 '63

Professor C. Lakshmanna retorted: the statement made by Shri B .R. Bhagat,

Minister of External Affairs on Prime
IIWe know you have so much love for Minister's visit to Vietnam and Japan. The
animals instead of human beings. II Deputy Chairman [Dr. (Smt.) Najma
Heptulla] called Shri Jaswant Singh to seek
Shri B .R. Bhagat went on to elaborate clarifications. This led to the following witty
further that the Prime Minister's visit to the exchange:
Zoo was shown on their TV network and was
watched by millions of people and the impact SHRI JASWANT SINGH: Madam Deputy
the visit had on relationship between the Chairman, would you stop me from saying
Japanese and Indian people had to be seen whatever I wish to say?
to be believed. The Deputy Chairman [Dr,
(Smt.) Najma Heptulla] interrupted the THE DEPUTY CHAIRMAN: No, I am not
Minister by saying: stopping.

IIMr. Jaswant Singh should be included SHRI JASWANT SINGH: You are
in the visit to a zoo! II interrupting.

This led to the following exchange of THE DEPUTY CHAIRMAN: That I have to.
repartees:
SHRI JASWANT SINGH: Would you permit me
SHRI JASWANT SINGH: I would only be to continue uninterrupt~d or permit me to
delighted to visit an international zoo. So far finish?
as visiting a zoo is concerned this is your
suggestion and the suggestion is coming from THE DEPUTY CHAIRMAN: After you finish.
the Chair. I would only be delighted. I will interrupt?1I
00

THE DEPUTY CHAIRMAN: I am a zoologist

Weighty question
and so, I said.

SHRI JASWANT SINGH: Anyhow, Madam, While Shri Vishwajit Prithvijit Singh *
of India stood up to put his supplementary on
visits to the zoo by the Government
Starred Question regarding installation of
is particularly appropriate. 00 C>

Unique interruption * Shri Singh is a member with a heavy built.

Members were seeking clarifications on
C>
 64 65
'Quinghao' an timalarial plant in India, the SHRI V. GOPALSAMY: Yes, definitely, if I
Chairman after calling him, remarked as am provided with weapons by the Minister.
follows: 00

II He is putting a weighty question. II Wordy duel

00
Sarvashri V. Gopalsamy, M.
Willing to go to Sri Lanka Kalyanasundaram and R. Mohanarangam made
if provided with weapons special mentions regarding police firing on
agitating fishermen in Madras. During the
During the course of a short duration mention the House witnessed' repeated
discussion on racial riots in South Africa acrimonious and heated exchanges between
affecting the people of Indian Origin when Shri Gopalsamy and Shri Mohanarangam.
Shri V. Gopalsamy was called to speak by Immediately after . Shri Mohanarangam
the Vice-Chairman (Shri R. Ramakrishnan), completed his submission Shri Gopalsamy
commented:
the following hilarious exchange took place:

THE VICE-CHAIRMAN IIHe is justifying the killing. II

(SHRI R.
RAMAKRISHNAN): Last but not the least,
Shri Gopalsamy. Shri Mohanarangam retorted as follows:

SHRI KHURSHID ALAM KHAN: Firebrand Mr. IIMadam, I was not justifying the
Gopalsamy! killing. He is instigating the killings. II

SHRI V. GOPALSAMY: Mr. Vice-Chairman, The Deputy Chairman [Dr. (Smt.) Najma
Sir, are you willing to deport me to South Heptulla] then cryptically remarked:
Africa?
III can well understand how terrible it
SHRI S. W. DHABE: Then you can fight must have been, looking at the small
better! sample here. II
00

THE MINISTER OF STATE IN THE MINISTRY Wordy pollution

OF PARLIAMENTARY AFFAIRS (SHRIMATI
MARGARET ALVA): You will be the right During Question Hour Shri S. W. Dhabe
person to fight. had put a supplementary to the Minister of I
State in the Ministry of Environment and
THE VICE-CHAIRMAN: He would prefer to Forests (Shri Z. R.' Ansari) regarding
go to Sri Lanka. C>
C>

Ji I
II III

66
pollution caused by thermal power. plants
located in urban areas. Not satisfied with
the reply of the Minister, the member stuck
to his stand. This led. to quick exchanges
between the member, the Chairman and the
Minister. Thereupon the member put a
further supplemeri tary to the Minister:

"What is acid rain? The hon. Minister .1

should enlighten the House about this I
also. II

The Chairman then commented:

"Both of you are talking at the same

time and you do not understand each
other. II

At that point another member. Shri

Jaswant Singh expressed his desire to ask a
supplementary. This led to the following
witty ..exchange:

MR. CHAIRMAN: Let us first dissolve this.

SHRI JASWANT SINGH: It would not be

dissolved .

. MR. CHAIRMAN: This pollution has to be

dissolved.

The Minister thereafter made some

clarificatory observations which promoted the
Chairman to advise Shri Jaswant Singh as
under:
HLet us not pollute the atmosphere
further, Mr. Jaswant Singh. II
00