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After The First Six Weeks Chapter Sampler

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First published in 2018

Copyright © Cathryn Curtin 2018

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in


any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying,
recording or by any information storage and retrieval system, without prior
permission in writing from the publisher. The Australian Copyright Act 1968
(the Act) allows a maximum of one chapter or 10 per cent of this book, whichever
is the greater, to be photocopied by any educational institution for its educational
purposes provided that the educational institution (or body that administers it) has
given a remuneration notice to the Copyright Agency (Australia) under the Act.

The purchaser of this book understands that the information contained within this
book is not intended to be relied upon to treat, cure or prevent any disease, illness
or medical condition. It is understood that you will seek medical advice by a
licensed physician in the event of any such disease, illness or medical condition.
The author and publisher claim no responsibility to any person or entity for any
liability, loss or damage caused or alleged to be caused directly or indirectly as a
result of the use, application or interpretation of the material in this book.

Allen & Unwin


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Author’s note
In this book I use ‘he’ when referring to a baby
because my own baby was a boy. I  also refer to
babies as ‘he’ because so many new parents do not
want to know the sex of their child (and I know)
so I have trained myself to say ‘he’. No offence is
intended to baby girls!
There are also many types of families, and I
recognise that many people parent alone. Then
there are families with same-sex parents or who
live within an extended family. Please read this book
by adapting it as necessary to your situation. I am
aware of the different family structures, and the
challenges unique to each.
Foreword by
Dr David Sheffield
MBBS, BMedSci, FRACP, PhD

We live in an age where information has never been easier to


access and parents are confronted by abundant health inform-
ation about strategies and solutions for raising their child.
However, the curse of this information availability lies in its
all-encompassing nature; plagued by unfiltered reproduction
and regurgitation, skewed by academic sensationalism and
distorted by ideological agendas. This is why I am so pleased
that Cathryn Curtin has undertaken to write her second book.
I have seen firsthand how her experienced approach makes
a tangible difference to the welfare of both children and their
families, across multiple generations. In the fog of parenting,
her methodology and timely expert support offers a beacon
of considered advice that inspires confidence.
Cath is eminently qualified to provide the information
contained within these pages. She has managed a birthing
suite, coordinated a maternal and child health network,

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a f te r th e fi r st si x we e k s

worked with countless practitioners and assisted thousands


of parents and children in her private practice of postnatal
health care. The advice Cath provides exists as a result of
dedicated reflection upon her exhaustive clinical experiences.
She offers practical solutions to what can seem insurmount-
able dilemmas unique to parents, always with the priority
to enhance the relationship between parents and child, to
explain what is normal and healthy and to prevent illness.
The information contained herein is a welcome antidote
to the digital inaccuracies and generic information that
abounds. I  am confident that motivated parents will find
this book invaluable and will be as grateful as I am that
Cath has made the fruits of her labour—and that of so many
others—available to enrich their experience over the first year
of their child’s life.
They say it takes a village to raise a child. We are lucky
to have Midwife Cath in our global village.

x
Contents
Author’s note vii
Foreword by Dr David Sheffield  ix
Introductionxiii

Part 1 Becoming parents

1 Safety in the home 3


2 Caring for your baby 17
3 Your baby’s health 48
4 Speech, language and communication 69
5 Looking after yourself 84

Part 2 After six weeks

6 Seven to eight weeks 103


7 Two to four months 131
8 Four to six months 145
9 Six to eight months 169
10 Eight to ten months 191
11 Ten to twelve months 207
Sample feeding chart 227
Percentile growth charts 231
Seeking help 238
Acknowledgements243
Index245
Introduction

This book, a follow-up to The First Six Weeks (TFSW), is a


comprehensive guidebook for parents, providing a roadmap
to ‘what’s next’—starting at six weeks, a major milestone, and
taking you through to the end of the first 12 months. More
growth and development takes place in this first year than in
any other year of your child’s life, and this book will help you
navigate the rest of this important first year with confidence,
understand this next critical stage of your child’s development
and be the best parent you can be.
In After the First Six Weeks I discuss the joys and chal-
lenges of your child’s first 12 months, focusing on such issues
as breast and bottle feeding; the introduction of solids; sleep;
growth and development; the importance of play; safety; and
the bath, bottle and bed (BBB) routine and how it evolves
over these 12 months. There’s also a lot of other important
information that you probably don’t know you don’t know!

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Some of the key practices I described in detail in the first


book, such as the BBB routine, will need to be adjusted to
suit your baby’s age, weight and stage of development, so now
and then I will direct you to where you can find the detailed
description and explanation of a method in TFSW. In this
book, the goal is to fine-tune these methods, based on the
age of your baby and his stage of development.
After I wrote TFSW, many thankful parents told me they
had their baby in a perfect routine—the BBB routine—but
were unsure what to do after six weeks. What happens on
week seven? When could they bring back bath time? When
should the dream feed stop? This book sets out to answer those
questions, taking you through to your child’s first birthday.
Working with pregnant women, helping babies come into
the world and guiding their parents in the early years of
their children’s lives has been my life’s work. I’ve worked in
hospitals; in maternal and child health; with obstetricians in
private practice; and today I run my own private consultancy,
working with parents, in person, over the phone and over
Skype—from pregnancy through to the first four years of
their child’s life.
I feel extremely fortunate to have always worked in a field
I love. I have cared for pregnant women who are 14 years to
60 years and over, and I can say it remains a privilege to be
allowed into the lives of so many families. It is incredible to
be present at a birth—it is always special to see the reaction

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I ntroduction

of the parents when they meet their new baby. Ten thousand
babies later and counting, I can say I’ve seen it all, though I
never get tired of seeing babies born. A new life coming into
the world is something really special.
Parenting itself can come as a shock to new parents—the
amount of feeding and also the difficulties that arise are
challenging, such as dealing with a baby that constantly
cries or cannot settle overnight, as well as coping with sleep
deprivation and often conflicting advice from professionals.
It’s hard to feel confident that you are doing a good job
with your baby—anxiety catches us all unawares. The bubble
of welcoming a newborn can feel so euphoric, and then the
love for your baby deepens along with the responsibility of
being a mother. It’s overwhelming—a secret that can’t be fully
shared until you experience it. Welcome to the best club in
the world! It takes time for you and your baby to settle down,
so be kind to yourself, and please don’t start comparing your
baby to others in your mother’s group or even to your other
children. A new baby is a huge change to your life, your body,
your self-esteem and your way of thinking. Be patient, and
try to avoid consulting Dr Google.
Writing TFSW was an amazing experience and, after the
book was published, I came into contact with so many people
grateful for my common-sense approach to parenting. I was
also contacted by a lot of women who were grateful that I
discussed the issue of mixed feeding. I  was aware of the

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pressure on new mothers within the community to exclusively


breastfeed, but I wasn’t sure just how deep it ran. It often
starts in the hospital, with staff who are anti-formula and
put pressure on mothers, making them feel guilty if they give
their baby formula, and unsure of what to do when a new
baby is hungry and crying non-stop. I discuss this issue in
more detail on pages 29–30 and 111–13.
My mantra is these three words—food, love, warmth. As
a parent, I believe if you go by these three words, you can’t go
wrong. It’s simple. Keep those words in your mind. Keep saying
them to yourself when you’re worrying about your baby. Is your
baby fed? Is he loved? Is he secure and warm, close to you?
Always talk to your baby—from birth, talking to your baby
is crucial. I cannot stress enough the importance of beginning
in these early days the lifetime practice of talking to your
child. Don’t be afraid of holding your baby and telling him
what you’re doing. This talk with your child will continue
for the rest of your life, day after day, year after year, and
become the ‘voice’ inside your child’s head. It’s important to
pay attention to how you speak to your child, from day one.
What is the voice your child is going to carry with him as he
goes through life? Negative? Condescending? Critical? Angry?
Or the voice of unconditional love and support, cultivating
a sense of worthiness? Negative talk can easily become the
norm and, before you know it, you have a child at two or
three repeating negative talk back to you.

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I ntroduction

Always talk to your baby, especially when you are doing


night feeds. Many years ago, a young mother came to me
after her baby had passed away from sudden infant death
syndrome (SIDS). A  health professional had told her not
to talk to her baby or have eye contact with him overnight;
some professionals still tell mothers not to talk to their
babies overnight.
This young mother was grief-stricken and heartbroken
because the last time she saw her baby she turned him away
and didn’t talk to him. I have never forgotten her—and that’s
why I always encourage parents to look at their baby and talk
to him day and night—especially at night. It’s okay—he is
your baby and you are allowed to kiss him, talk to him, love
him. Those nights of early parenting pass quickly, so never
let one go by without telling your baby who you are, and that
you love him.
I have some ‘golden rules’ that you will find helpful to
remember—keep this list on your fridge!

• You cannot overfeed a baby.


• You can underfeed a baby.
• Breast milk or formula is the main source of food for the
baby’s first 12 months.
• Healthy, well babies who are born at term cry for two
reasons—hunger and discomfort. The discomfort is usually
associated with gastric reflux.

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• Babies need to be at least 7 to 8 kilograms to have the


capacity to sleep a good stretch overnight.
• Babies need to be old enough to have the capacity to sleep
well overnight.
• A newborn baby won’t self-settle; he needs to feed to sleep.

So many women tell me, ‘No one told me it would be this


hard.’ Even for those that are forwarned, it’s really hard to
imagine how much life will change until your baby arrives.
I want this book to be a positive guide for you in these first
twelve months as a parent. I  want to continue to be the
positive voice in your head. And when the first birthday
arrives, plan a big celebration for surviving this first difficult
but amazing year!

xviii
PART 1
BECOMING
PARENTS
1
Safety in the home

Babies need constant supervision. Many injuries can occur


within the home and our little children are at the greatest
risk. The most common causes of injury to young children
are burns, finger jams, falls, poisoning and near-drowning.
Most of these are predictable and preventable.

Keep an eye on your baby’s older sibling(s)


Be careful when toddlers hold your baby as they quickly lose
attention. I have seen a toddler drop a baby on the floor
and just walk off. That’s the way toddlers think—it’s all about
them. They mean no harm, so don’t reprimand your child. But
if your toddler wants to hold your baby, sit with him, helping
him hold the baby, and then after a few minutes say that’s

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enough. Give the toddler some boundaries—a beginning


and an end to the session.

My baby was only four weeks old when I introduced him to


my girlfriends and their young children. I put baby George
to sleep upstairs as there were lots of toddlers and I didn’t
want him to be disturbed by them. We were having lunch
when a three-year-old toddler, Lily, arrived carrying George!
To this day I do not know how she got him out of the cot
and down the stairs, maybe I don’t want to know. What I do
know is that from then on, I always had my eyes on George
if there were other children around.
— SARAH

First aid training


I think it’s vital for all parents of babies and young children to
do a first aid course. I hope you never need it but if you do,
your knowledge and expertise will come in handy. There are
companies that train new parents in paediatric resuscitation.
Do your research to ensure that the educators conducting the
training have a medical background and then, ideally, attend
first aid training before your first baby is born.

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Sa fety in the hom e

Keep a fully stocked first aid kit in your house, and another
one in the car, but make sure they’re both out of reach of
small children. For parents who have previously done a first
aid course, I would advise them to do a refresher course prior
to the birth of the baby. We can forget quickly. You never
know when you’ll need it!

Baby-proofing your home


When I studied maternal and child health at university, I can
remember a teacher telling us the best way to safety-proof
a house for a baby was to get down on our hands and knees
and crawl around to see what a baby could see. I thought this
was a stupid idea but I was young and I didn’t have a child
then. When I did have my son, I began to understand what
she was talking about. I got down onto my hands and knees
and had a good look around to check for potential problems
for a moving baby. So here we go—everyone on your hands
and knees, let’s check the house!
A baby can put anything in his mouth—a coin, a battery,
a  small toy, a  bit of food or even a piece of fluff may be
on the floor and they are all potentially choking hazards.
Also look out for curtain and blind cords that reach the floor
(the baby can get caught in them) and pet food bowls (the
baby might think the pet food looks appetising). He might
be rolling around on the floor from the age of 15 weeks so

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it’s best to get things done before there are any accidents or
dramas. Prevention far outweighs the cure! For example, his
fingers can get caught in cupboard drawers and doors; he
can choke on nuts and other hard foods, be suffocated by
plastic bags and even cot sheets or doonas, be poisoned by
cleaning products that aren’t stored in locked cupboards, be
bitten by animals and he can drown if unsupervised near a
swimming pool. If your house has stairs, install safety gates
at both the top and bottom.

The baby’s room


Safety in the home starts with a safe sleeping environment.
It’s really important to position both the change table and
the cot away from any long curtain or blind cords that your
baby can grab. Cords are a strangling risk for babies and
young children.
Have everything you need for the change table within
your reach so you never have to leave the baby alone on
the table. Even before the birth, make sure you have all the
nappies, cotton balls, biodegradable baby wipes, singlets, sets
of clothes, various creams and nappy rash powder close by
in a secure drawer on the change table.
Never give your child a tube of cream to play with while
you’re changing him. I’ve seen lots of mothers hand the baby a
tube of cream they’re going to use on his bottom to keep their
baby occupied. He can easily bite on the tube and swallow

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Sa fety in the hom e

the contents. Keep a small rattle or toy nearby to use when


you’re changing your baby, because as he gets older he will
move, turn, squirm and protest while you do so, and a toy
will help quieten him.
Never, ever leave a baby alone on a change table—even
for a second. A  baby can squirm and fall off the table in
the time it takes you to turn around or bend down to pick
something up off the floor! I know it sounds ridiculous, but
they can. If your eyes are off your baby, keep your hands on
your baby. I’ve heard so many stories from parents who said,
‘I only turned around for a second or two . . .’ Don’t risk it. If
you have to turn around, hold onto your baby’s leg and then
do what you need to do, but if you have to leave the room,
don’t leave him alone on the bed or the change table—either
take him with you, or pop him on the floor or in his cot.
The baby’s cot must meet Australian standards to ensure
your baby’s safety. If you have a cot on loan from a friend,
I would encourage you to buy a new mattress that is firm
and fits adequately into the cot. A poorly fitted mattress can
be dangerous as a baby can slip down between the mattress
and the cot. Put a mattress protector under a clean fitted
sheet—nothing else should be in the cot.
Test any nightlights and lamps but remember, it isn’t
necessary to have a light on all night in your baby’s room.
Make sure all power points are covered at all times to
prevent your moving child poking anything into the socket.

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a f te r th e fi r st si x we e k s

Safe sleeping for babies


Red Nose provides safe sleeping guidelines to reduce the
incidence of fatal sleeping accidents in Australia. It is advised
that all parents adhere to the following guidelines:

• Sleep your baby on his back from birth, not on his tummy
or side.
• Sleep your baby with his face and head uncovered and
free from bedding, pillows and toys.
• Avoid exposing your baby to tobacco smoke before birth
and after.
• Provide a safe sleeping environment with safe furniture
and bedding: this means no quilts, doonas, duvets or
pillows in the cot.
• Sleep your baby in his own safe sleeping place in the
same room as you for the first six to 12 months.
• Breastfeed if you can.

The bathroom
Once your baby starts moving, he may follow you when you
go to the bathroom! When you are home alone and need to
go to the toilet, or want to have a shower, place your baby in
a safe place, like his cot, or in a playpen if you have one. It

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Sa fety in the hom e

will only be for a few minutes—a short time and you deserve
to have a relaxing shower by yourself!
Hand sanitiser is used in most bathrooms these days and is
usually carried in nappy bags. I see parents applying it to baby’s
and toddler’s hands—toddlers are even capable of ‘pumping’
the disinfectant onto their own hands! I applaud parents for
being careful with cross-contamination, but I feel it has gone
to the extreme. Hand sanitiser contains between 60 and 95
per cent ethanol or isopropyl alcohol, and if taken orally could
be fatal to a young child. It can also cause eye pain, as the
baby or toddler may rub his eyes with his hand, still wet with
sanitiser, causing irritation and discomfort. Sanitiser should
be strictly supervised by parents to prevent any harm, minor
or major, to the little ones. In the bathroom at home, good
old soap and water is as effective as any sanitiser. When out
of the house, unscented baby wipes are safer and preferable
to wipe the hands and face of a baby or toddler.
Before you have the baby, be prepared and put childproof
locks on bathroom cupboards so you can keep dangerous
appliances and toiletries well out of baby’s reach. These days
there’s a huge range to choose from and they’re cheap and
easy to install.
These include:

• medicine, tablets, lotions, creams, make-up, perfume and


detergents

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a f te r th e fi r st si x we e k s

• scissors, razor blades, tweezers, toothbrushes, hair dryers,


shavers and heaters
• liquid hand soaps and hand sanitisers.

Children can drown in very small amounts of water, so


always keep the toilet seat down. Walk around your house
and try to look at it from a baby’s perspective.
When you bath your baby in a big bath, prevent him from
slipping by placing a non-slip mat underneath him. Babies
love to jump and move around in the bath so you must hold
him at all times. Never leave a baby or small child alone in
the bath as accidents happen and they happen quickly.

The living area


It’s important to ensure that the TV is secure, ideally bolted
to the wall, as children can pull them down on top of them-
selves, oblivious to the dangers of pulling on the TV. Install
childproof locks on all cupboards, drawers and anything
else your baby can access in the living area, and remove any
objects, such as vases, from table- and cupboard tops.

The kitchen
A kitchen can be a dangerous place and is really not safe for
young children. It’s a good idea to keep a fire blanket handy
at all times in case of an accident on the stove, and also to
install child safety locks on all the cupboards and drawers.

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Sa fety in the hom e

If you’re having friends over for a meal or afternoon tea, think


twice before laying the table with a tablecloth. A baby can
tug on the tablecloth and pull down hot drinks and crockery
on top of himself, risking injury and severe burns.
When you are drinking a hot drink, it’s best to either put
the baby down into the pram or cot or hand your baby to
someone else. When a baby sees a coffee mug/tea cup, he is
likely to instinctively grab for it (they are so strong) and pull
it towards himself. Before you know it, the baby may have
tipped a hot drink over himself. Scalds are terrible burns and
are preventable.
When your baby is old enough to sit up in a highchair,
look at one that has the Australian Standards seal of approval.
Use the built-in harness on your baby every time he sits in
the highchair—he will not only get used to the harness but
eventually expect to have the harness on when he is in the
highchair. If you start from day 1, it will become a habit,
not only for you but also for your baby. But don’t rely on the
highchair to keep him safe if you need to leave the room—I’ve
seen injured babies after they’ve rocked the highchair so
vigorously, they made it fall over!

Cars
When you put a baby or a toddler in a hot car, the car seat
can be very hot, too, causing the baby’s temperature to rise

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a f te r th e fi r st si x we e k s

very quickly. On a sunny day, put your car’s air-conditioner


on for at least five minutes before you take the baby out of
the house. According to Kidsafe Victoria, ‘The temperature
inside a parked car during the Australian summer can be
20 to 30 degrees hotter than the outside temperature. On a
29-degree Celsius day a car can reach 44 degrees in just 10
minutes and a deadly 60 degrees in 20 minutes. Leaving the
window down a few centimetres does little.’
Never leave your child alone in the car, even while you
run back into the house to fetch something you’ve forgotten,
or dash into a service station to pay for petrol. For one thing,
opportunistic car thieves have been known to hop into cars
and drive off with children in the back seat. This happened
to my sister, so I know only too well how easily it can happen.
One of the biggest causes of accidental death of children
is cars reversing. Even if your car has a reversing camera that
shows what’s behind the car when you reverse, you should
never rely on it alone—always check to see that children are
in the car with you or safely in the house or supervised by
adults before reversing out of a garage or driveway.

Car restraints
When leaving the hospital, you are required by law to place
your baby in a safe, suitable and approved car restraint that
faces the back of the car. The approved car restraint for the

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Sa fety in the hom e

baby will have an appropriate sticker saying that it complies


with the Australian and New Zealand Standards. Did you
know it’s actually illegal to use car restraints that have been
purchased overseas?
You must have the car restraint fitted properly by a
reputable tradesman, such as one from an official motoring
association—the RACV or equivalent in your state. Even
when you’re travelling in a taxi or Uber, you must have the
baby in an approved car seat at all times, so if you’re away from
home and your own car, have a car seat and its attachments
available to enable you to assemble it in someone else’s car.
Never allow your child to stand up in the back seat or sit
on anyone’s lap—it is both dangerous and illegal.

Prams
Ensure you buy a pram that conforms to Australian Standards,
and has strong safety straps to fasten the baby safely and
securely. These days you can buy convertible prams that
adjust to a baby’s age and stage of development. Try out
different types in the shop—a pram should be the right height
for you so you can walk comfortably with it, and have enough
room for baby’s nappy bag and small amounts of shopping.
Also make sure you’re able to get it in and out of your car
quickly and easily.

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