Emotional Intelligence

The importance of emotional intelligence in the

workplace

Emotional intelligence – or EQ – is becoming increasingly vital to humans’

success in the increasingly digital future of work. But what exactly is EQ,
and how could having it (or not) affect your career?

Emotional intelligence (also known as ‘emotional quotient’, or EQ) was ranked

sixth in the World Economic Forum’s list of the top 10 skills that employees will
need to possess to thrive in the workplace of the future.

But what is EQ? How can it affect your progression at work and your ability to
interact with teams and peers, and what impact can it have on your physical
and mental wellbeing?

What is emotional intelligence?

Broadly speaking, EQ refers to someone’s ability to perceive, understand and
manage their own feelings and emotions. Psychologist Daniel Goleman says it
has five core components:

1. Self-awareness – the ability to recognise and understand your moods and

emotions, and how they affect others
2. Self-regulation – the ability to control impulses and moods, and to think
before acting
3. Internal (or intrinsic) motivation – being driven to pursue goals for
personal reasons, rather than for some kind of reward (the opposite
is external motivation)
4. Empathy – the ability to recognise and understand others’ motivations,
which is essential for building and leading teams successfully
5. Social skills – the ability to manage relationships and build networks

Emotionally intelligent workers go further in their careers

EQ affects the everyday decisions employers make, such as
promoting, hiring and firing employees.
Nearly three-quarters (71%) of hiring managers surveyed by Career Builder in
2011 said they valued an employee’s EQ over their IQ. A further three-quarters
(75%) said they would be more likely to promote an employee with high
emotional intelligence. More than half (59%) said they wouldn’t hire a candidate
with a high IQ and low EQ.

Employers may also use EQ as part of their assessment of which employees

have leadership potential, or who is next in line for a pay rise or
promotion. Writing for Forbes in 2014, Travis Bradberry, author of Emotional
Intelligence 2.0, said that “Of all the people we’ve studied at work, we’ve found
that 90% of top performers are also high in emotional intelligence. On the flip
side, just 20% of bottom performers are high in emotional intelligence. You can
be a top performer without emotional intelligence, but the chances are slim.”

People with high emotional intelligence are better at motivating

themselves
According to Goleman’s model, those with a higher EQ have a greater ability to
self-regulate, and higher levels of motivation – which can in turn reduces their
tendency to procrastinate, leads to improved self-confidence, and enables them
to focus on achieving long-term goals.

While leaders and managers with a higher EQ can help teams to collaborate
more effectively and identify the specific drivers that motivate individual
employees, teams can also develop an emotional intelligence all of their own.
A seminal 2001 study by Vanessa Urch Druskat and Steve B Wolff found that
team EQ is a significant factor in determining overall performance. Writing
in Harvard Business Review, they said: “Our research shows that, just like
individuals, the most effective teams are emotionally intelligent ones – and that
any team can attain emotional intelligence… By working to establish norms for
emotional awareness and regulation at all levels of interaction, teams can build
the solid foundation of trust, group identity, and group efficacy they need for
true cooperation and collaboration – and high performance overall.”

“Businesses depend on the people who work for them to be highly engaged, to
be able to adapt quickly to internal and external changes, and to show fresh
thinking and come up with new ideas,” psychologist Dr Martyn
Newman told People Management in 2017. “The set of skills we need to meet
these needs are rooted in our emotional and social behaviours – and studies
also show that, as you grow a culture of emotional intelligence in your
organisation, levels of absenteeism drop, and engagement levels increase.”
EQ can have a major impact on mental wellbeing
Those with a high level of emotional intelligence typically have a happier outlook
on life and more positive attitude than those with a lower EQ. They are also
better at identifying and empathising with other people’s points of view – an
essential trait for preventing and resolving conflicts at work. With a better
understanding of our emotions, we can communicate our feelings in a more
positive manner. We can also understand and relate to our colleagues, which
can lead to better working relationships.

Emotional intelligence can also be a factor in physical health

While studies have shown links between EQ and mental resilience and
wellbeing, there is less scientific evidence of the link between emotional
intelligence and physical health. But, given the impact of stress on, among other
factors, our ability to sleep, exercise, and make healthy eating choices, it
stands to reason that being better able to cope with the strains of daily life can
have a positive impact on our physical health, too.

Editor’s note: This article was first published on 1 June 2016. It was updated in
February 2018 for freshness, accuracy and clarity.

Emotional Intelligence – A Little-Known

Skill for Better Team Management
The Miscommunication Problem
We’ve all been there. You’re working with your cross-functional team spanning multiple
departments and interests, while a huge, seemingly life-changing deadline looms over
your immediate future.
At one point, a frustrated Susan calls out Jeff for not following directions, in desperation,
he replies: “But I did exactly what you asked!”
“No,” Susan says. “I told you to write a report capturing the future potential of…”
As they go back and forth, voices become raised, and tension escalates. The team’s
attention moves further away from the actual problem when one colleague steps in.
Laura rephrases the task to Jeff, explaining the situation in a way he understands. She
then turns to Susan, and calmly explains why Jeff might have misunderstood her
instructions, which had seemed clear to Susan.
When Laura puts it this way, the combative parties deflate, and chalk it up to a
miscommunication.
How was Laura able to so easily see what Jeff and Susan could not? And how can we
avoid common disagreements like this in the future?
The answer to both questions lies in the under-
reported, industry-blind field of Emotional
Intelligence.
A Hirable Trait
Emotional Intelligence (EI) represents a growing area of study that holds tremendous
potential impact on the workplace. As the business world shrinks and teams reach new
levels of diversity, those who can communicate and manage relationships effectively
become even more vital. Those with high emotional intelligence are experts in this
realm, which more-and-more, managers recognize as critically important.
In fact, a CareerBuilder survey revealed that 71% of hiring managers valued an
employee’s EI over their IQ. Three-quarters of those surveyed said they’d be more likely
to promote an employee with higher emotional intelligence over someone with higher
IQ. With so much of an employee’s future potential riding on EI, we need to educate
ourselves on this soft skill that manifests itself in our daily lives.
What Exactly is Emotional Intelligence?
Simply stated, emotional intelligence is the ability of an individual to understand their
own feelings and emotions. However simple it may sound, EI is anything but, because it
involves understanding the complexities of emotions and human motivation. We will
cover the five core components of EI, as determined by Psychologist Daniel Goleman,
to provide a clearer definition.
The 5 Components of Emotional Intelligence

1. Personal Purpose – having the vision to pursue one’s own goals with energy and creativity.
Internally motivated people regularly show dedication and generate high quality work.
2. Self-Awareness – the ability to understand your own moods and how that affects others
around you. Being self-aware means intimately understanding your own personal value
while maintaining humility.
3. Self-Regulation – the ability to control certain impulses and moods. In heated situations,
those with strong self-regulation can take a step back, breathe, and think before they speak.
This predictable stability brings comfort to others around them.
4. Empathy – the ability to understand what others are thinking and feeling. Empathic leaders
manage teams superbly because they understand their teammates, and how best to
communicate with each unique individual.
5. Social Skills – the ability to manage relationships and build rapport. Those with strong
social skills understand the intricacies of social situations, and easily pick up on the moods
of a group.

When you cross multiple functions, as Business Relationship Managers regularly do,
teams become ever more complex with everyone bringing their own perspectives and
perceptions to the table. Emotional intelligence enables you to understand each person
while simultaneously enhancing the value-contributions of the team.
Moreover, people with higher EI are often more self-motivated and happier in general.
If you wish to learn about these (and more) applicable benefits of emotional intelligence,
then check out: Emotional Intelligence — The Secret to Sharpening Your Social Skills.

Emotional Intelligence — The Secret to

Sharpening Your Social Skills
he Rise of Emotional Intelligence
Previously, we defined emotional intelligence (EI) and explained why modern
companies place a high value on emotionally intelligent employees. In fact, when tested
alongside 33 other important skills, a workplace study by TalentSmart determined that
emotional intelligence is the strongest predictor of workplace success. It directly
related to 58 percent of success in a variety of jobs.
People with high emotional intelligence possess valuable knowledge and experience
about connecting to both themselves and others. They acquire these skills by
developing the five core components of EI: self-awareness, self-regulation, internal-
motivation, empathy, and social skills.
This article covers how combining these competencies in different ways creates some
of the most highly-revered skills in both life and the workplace; and how you can
develop these skills with practice.
Communication and Social Skills
Touted as one of the most crucial soft skills, strong communicators possess high
emotional intelligence. This is a direct factor of strong self-regulation and social
skills. Self-regulationdenotes the ability to think, maintain control, and then act in any
situation. When emotions run high, self-regulation enables the user to stay calm.
Strong social skills then take over. The communicator analyzes everything from body
language, to word choice, to relationships between people. Hence, social skills
empower the communicator to read the situation and respond to meet others’ best
interests.
Strong communicators find success by calmly
assessing any situation and responding appropriately
based on the social environment.
Common Vision
If a team aspires to optimize its value contribution, then working together towards a
common vision enables that possibility. According to Forbes, in order to cultivate that
vision, the most successful teams come from a foundation of trust.
However, trust is so much more than team-building exercises. It stems from the ability
to selflessly share with others and to connect on an emotional level. Explaining this in EI
terms, having empathy towards your teammates creates this emotional connection,
which fosters genuine trust.
Yet, to properly unite a team under a common vision requires an additional element
of self-awareness. By understanding your communication style and how others perceive
you, you can cater your messaging to fit the values and needs of the team, which
you’ve learned through practicing empathy and building trust.
Thus, as a function of trust and proper messaging, your team will better understand the
vision and feel empowered to pursue it.
How to Apply Emotional Intelligence
The process of combining EI competencies to develop leadership traits works on any
number of social skills such as time-management, delegation, and team-building. If
you’re starting to understand the correlation between these components and success,
then naturally, the next question becomes, “How do I develop my Emotional
Intelligence?”
Thankfully, emotional intelligence is a trainable skill; and something you can develop
with time, patience, and practice.
The next article in this series outlines tips and strategies to cultivate your self-
awareness, a key ingredient in bringing your emotional intelligence to the next level.

How to Train Your Empathy for Deeper

Connections
“Before you judge a man, walk a mile in his shoes.”
This age-old idiom has permeated society for generations, drawing its roots back to a
Mary T. Lathrap poem in 1895. So, why does this century-old adage still echo with
relevance today?
Because it speaks to the deepest part of human connection. Connecting, and
feeling valued, by understanding someone else’s experiences, challenges,
and thought processes.
In effect, practicing empathy.
This week, as part of our Emotional Intelligence Series, we will provide you with two
strategies to use in any conversation that will hone your empathy, and allow you to
establish greater human connection.
Empathy
Definition: The ability to understand what others are feeling and thinking, as well as their
motivations. Also, to identify with that person by “putting yourself in their shoes.”
To cultivate your empathy, practice the two strategies below in everyday conversations to
connect more profoundly and to make others feel understood & valued.
Strategy #1: Explore the why
At its core, demonstrating empathy means that we are trying to understand how another person
feels, whether they experience a positive or negative emotion, and to feel with them.
One of the best ways to do this is to understand their why. Once you’ve identified their emotion,
ask yourself: Why does this fellow human being feel the way they do? What, in their life, is
causing them to feel this emotion?
Everybody is going through something; empathizing with the what’s going on in them is the
quickest way to connect. As a result of that empathic connection, we are better able to deepen
relationships with one another, both at home and at work. Follow these simple steps to explore
the why behind empathy.

Putting it Into Practice

If you want to empathize quickly and meaningfully with anyone, ask questions that help
you learn their why. This may come from a simple conversation, where you start by
genuinely ask about their day.
Upon truly listening, as you’ll learn more about with Strategy #2, find a topic to focus on
based on their perceived interest level. Then, when you’ve identified what they might
like to talk more about, explore the why by asking a variation of any question below.

1. How did you feel when X happened?

2. What exactly do you mean when you say Y?
3. Or simply ask, “Why is that?”

When people notice you taking interest in their lives by asking probing questions, their
emotions rise to the surface, creating an opportunity for a significant empathic
connection.
Strategy #2: Listen.
Don’t take this strategy lightly. When you listen, try to identify the idea, feeling, or fear they are
sharing with you.
Sometimes, our job is easy, and we don’t even have to respond. If another person shares a
frustration and notices you truly hearing and empathizing with them, that’s often all they need.
To simply have someone listen to their frustrations

Consider. When your significant other comes home after a long day and vents, ask
yourself, what are they needing from me?
Believe it or not, people don’t talk just to fill silence. When they share, that’s exactly it. They
are sharing a piece of themselves with us, hoping we can pick up on their underlying needs, and
empathize with them.
Ultimately, people just want to be listened to and understood.

When trying to listen with empathy, let the following recommendations echo in your
mind during your conversations. If you don’t execute them all perfectly, the first time,
that’s okay! Respond by showing Tempathy for yourself, through self-forgiveness and
practice.
Moreover, know that the more you utilize these skills, the easier it will be to empathize
with others.
Putting it Into Practice
Don’t Interrupt. Period. – The Golden Rule to listening is that you spend more time
listening than talking. Unsurprisingly, the goal of listening is to learn, and to then use
that knowledge to make an informed decision. If we interrupt them to splice in our own
thoughts, then we aren’t really learning how to help that other person.
As one Inc article succinctly puts it: “The minute they stop talking is the minute you stop
learning.”
Focus on their why – Incorporate the methods you learned in Strategy #1 to learn
what they are trying to say, and to demonstrate a genuine interest in their well-being.
Ask Good Questions – In many cases, the person talking may not even know
their why. But they do recognize that a need of theirs isn’t being filled, which leads
them to turn to you for help. Hence, treat their trust in you as a gift, by helping them to
explore what their needs are.
This starts with focusing on their why and asking helpful questions.
Simple Agreement is not Listening – Why does the term “yes-man” have a negative
connotation? Because, through always agreeing and never adding input, these people
don’t appear to think for themselves. This provides neither value to others nor empathic
connection.
Even if you find yourself disagreeing with them, share your thoughts honestly and
compassionately. Challenging them denotes a sign of empathy, because it
demonstrates a concern for the other person and a desire to help.
Resist the Urge to Provide a Solution – Just like with a long-term business
strategy, solutions to complex problems take time. And the first step to a solution is
to understand the problem fully.
Similarly, making empathic connection is a complex problem. And if you
prematurely offer a solution, without fully exploring that other person’s needs or
motivations, you’re essentially trying to solve a puzzle with missing pieces.
Just by listening, you help the other person concretize their thoughts and take a step
closer to discovering a solution.
Empathize by Listening for the Why
When we interact with others, we often don’t really hear them because we are too
worried about what WE will say next. Unfortunately, this immediately takes us out of
the listening mentality and makes it immensely more difficult to empathize and
connect.
Luckily, we can easily change our listening habits. To start your empathy journey,
practice these two strategies together to build that personal connection.
First, using Strategy #1 during a conversation, pick something that seems important to
the other person and explore the why behind it.
Then, use Strategy #2 to empathetically listen to what they’re telling you.
Given practice, you may surprise yourself by how others more readily open up to you.
And by how easily you’re able to feel with, and truly get to know, the people around
you.
If you enjoyed this article on Empathy…
Empathy is a core component of emotional intelligence, which represents an
incredibly broad category and requires time and effort to hone.
In this series, we break down the 5 competencies of Emotional Intelligence (EI), along
with two strategies for developing each competency, and specific exercises/applications
you can practice daily to increase your EI.
For example, the previous article explained why self-awareness forms the foundation
of strong emotional intelligence.
Also, keep an eye out for our next Emotional Intelligence Series article on Strategies
for Improving Your Social Skills.

Helpful Strategies to Increase Your

Self-Awareness

Emotional Intelligence Helps Build Relationships

In this series, we will cover the 5 areas of Emotional Intelligence (EI), two strategies
for developing each competency, and specific exercises/applications you can practice to
increase your EI.
Emotional intelligence represents an incredibly broad category, which requires plenty of
time and effort to hone. Because of this, we will focus on one competency each week
and recommend you focus on developing one skill at a time. In doing so, you will
steadily build your individual EI competencies, and bring it all together in no time!
This week’s article covers the importance of self-awareness, and how a high self-
awareness forms the foundation of strong EI.
Self-Awareness
Definition: Possessing the ability to understand your own moods and reactions;
and how this affects everyone around you.
Understanding ourselves is perhaps the single-most important EI skill we can
possess, given that all the other areas build from a strong self-awareness. Here’s how
to develop your self-awareness.
Strategy #1: Reflect on Your Own Emotions
In many ways, we are controlled by our emotions. Yet, we often remain blissfully
unaware of their power over us, let alone how to control the outbursts that occur.
However, the ability to control our reactions remains critically important in handling
difficult or stressful situations.
Besides, if we don’t know how to understand or manage our moods through self-
awareness, then how can we expect to influence others?
Putting it into Practice
To begin reflecting on emotions, first ask yourself how you’ve felt in certain situations
when:
…someone cuts you off in traffic.
…a close friend tells you something you didn’t want to hear.
…a coworker complains about another person in their life.
…your boss criticizes your actions when you thought you had done the right thing.
Spend time connecting with each of these emotions as you feel them. Then, do your
best to understand why you feel that way, and what kinds of situations elicit that
emotion in you. After relating different situations to the same emotion, you’ll begin to
see trends in your personal behavior and learn how to control it.
Strategy #2: Learn to Appreciate Criticism
In his article on How to Increase Your Emotional Intelligence, Justin Bariso, Founder
of Insight, maintains that “criticism is often rooted in truth.” And when faced with
criticism, we can either:
…put our hurt feelings aside and attempt to learn from the criticism.
or
…let our anger and emotions take control, inhibiting us from actually benefitting from
the situation, and often causing more harm than good.
Putting it Into Practice
The next time someone provides you with criticism, regardless of how they deliver it,
and you notice yourself feeling defensive, try to prevent yourself from reacting as you
normally do.
Instead, follow these simple steps to calm yourself down, reflect on the emotions
you’ve gotten to know through Strategy #1, and respond with
more compassion and purpose.
1. Pause & Breathe Deeply for 3 seconds – Even if we feel uncomfortable, people do
not often notice thoughtful silences, which actually represent good conversation
etiquette! And deep breathing activates your parasympathetic nervous system, which
allows you to curb your stress levels and think more clearly.
2. Set your emotions aside – Ask yourself “From what I am hearing, what feedback
are they trying to give me, and how can I learn about myself from it?”
3. Thank them for providing constructive feedback – You can use this exact phrase
or something similar to it, “I appreciate you sharing your concern and for providing that
constructive criticism…” Then, as Step 4 states, finish it with a question.
4. Ask them a Clarification Question – If you think they are trying to give you
feedback or criticism, simply ask them what they mean. This demonstrates that you
have heard them and that you’re eager to listen and learn about yourself. In all
likelihood, this will deescalate any situation. In fact, they will probably be more than
happy to help.
From Their Perspective
If you follow these steps effectively, the whole process will look like this in the other
person’s mind:
Before Step 1. “I just called Tom out after he clearly didn’t listen to my instructions last
week. And he’s probably going to be upset.”
They will likely expect push back from you, as we often find ourselves feeling defensive
when vulnerable.
After Steps 1-2. “Okay, he seems to be thinking about what I’m saying. Maybe he’s
thinking of how to respond.”
In the “awkward” silence, they will be focused on what they said and may calm down
just a bit, but will likely still expect pushback from you.
After Step 3. “Wow! I did not expect him to be appreciative of my criticism, but I’m glad
to see that he knows what I’m trying to say.”
People like to feel appreciated. So, when you thank them for their comments, they will
likely experience a feeling of pleasant surprise.
After Step 4. “This is great. Tom heard my concern, thanked me for pointing out where
he fell short and is making an effort to improve by asking for my help.”
After you go through this process, your genuine desire to experience personal growth
will become apparent. Furthermore, people want to contribute value to the lives of
others. Hence, by asking for their help, you are making an advocate of them and
improving the relationship together.
Start Building Your Self-Awareness
Understandably, using this strategy will feel slightly unnatural at first. Especially if the
criticism is delivered in an unhealthy manner. In particular, people may criticize you by
yelling, cursing, or acting with condescension. However, we cannot control how others
share information. We can only control how we respond.
Self-awareness remains vital for those in the field of business relationship
management (BRM), as BRMs focus on building meaningful relationships across the
organization. Click here to learn more about BRM, and keep an eye out for next week’s
article on How to Train Your Empathy for Deeper Connections.