Your Job." While You Can Try and Avoid Conflict (Bad Idea), You Cannot Escape

Here’s the thing - leadership and conflict go hand-in-hand.
Leadership is a
full-contact sport, and if you cannot or will not address conflict in a healthy,
productive fashion, you should not be in a leadership role. From my
perspective, the issues surrounding conflict resolution can be best summed-up
by adhering to the following ethos; ”Don't fear conflict; embrace it - it's
your job.” While you can try and avoid conflict (bad idea), you cannot escape
conflict. The fact of the matter is conflict in the workplace is unavoidable. It
will find you whether you look for it (good idea – more later) or not. The
ability to recognize conflict, understand the nature of conflict, and to be able
to bring swift and just resolution to conflict will serve you well as a leader –
the inability to do so may well be your downfall.
How many times over the years have you witnessed otherwise savvy
professionals self-destruct because they wouldn’t engage out of a fear of
conflict? Putting one’s head in the sand and hoping that conflict will pass you
by is not the most effective methodology for problem solving. Conflict rarely
resolves itself - in fact, conflict normally escalates if not dealt with proactively
and properly. It is not at all uncommon to see what might have been a non-
event manifest itself into a monumental problem if not resolved early on.
One of my favorite examples of what I described in the paragraph above is the

weak leader who cannot deal with subordinates who use emotional deceit as a
weapon of destruction. Every workplace is plagued with manipulative people
who use emotion to create conflict in order to cover-up for their lack of
substance. These are the drama queens/kings that when confronted about
wrongdoing and/or lack of performance are quick to point the finger in
another direction. They are adept at using emotional tirades which often
include crocodile tears, blameshifting, little lies, half truths and other
trite manipulations to get away with total lack of substance. The only thing
worse than what I’ve just described is leadership that doesn’t recognize it
and/or does nothing about it. Real leaders don’t play favorites, don’t get
involved in drama, and they certainly don’t tolerate manipulative, self-serving
behavior.
Developing effective conflict resolution skill sets are an essential component of

a building a sustainable business model. Unresolved conflict often results in
loss of productivity, the stifling of creativity, and the creation of barriers to
cooperation and collaboration. Perhaps most importantly for leaders, good
conflict resolution ability equals good employee retention. Leaders who don’t
deal with conflict will eventually watch their good talent walk out the door in
search of a healthier and safer work environment.
While conflict is a normal part of any social and organizational setting, the
challenge of conflict lies in how one chooses to deal with it. Concealed,
avoided or otherwise ignored, conflict will likely fester only to grow into
resentment, create withdrawal or cause factional infighting within an
organization.
So, what creates conflict in the workplace? Opposing positions, competitive

tensions, power struggles, ego, pride, jealousy, performance discrepancies,
compensation issues, just someone having a bad day, etc. While the answer to
the previous question would appear to lead to the conclusion that just about
anything and everything creates conflict, the reality is that the root of most
conflict is either born out of poor communication or the inability to control
one’s emotions. Let’s examine these 2 major causes of conflict:
Communication: If you reflect back upon conflicts you have encountered

over the years, you’ll quickly recognize many of them resulted from a lack of
information, poor information, no information, or misinformation. Let’s
assume for a moment that you were lucky enough to have received good
information, but didn’t know what to do with it…That is still a communication
problem, which in turn can lead to conflict. Clear, concise, accurate, and
timely communication of information will help to ease both the number and
severity of conflicts.
Emotions: Another common mistake made in workplace communications

which leads to conflict is letting emotions drive decisions. I have witnessed
otherwise savvy executives place the need for emotional superiority ahead of
achieving their mission (not that they always understood this at the time).
Case in point - have you ever witnessed an employee throw a fit of rage and
draw the regrettable line in the sand in the heat of the moment? If you have,
what you really watched was a person indulging their emotions rather than
protecting their future.
The very bane of human existence, which is in fact human nature itself, will
always create gaps in thinking & philosophy, and no matter how much we all
wish it wasn’t so…it is. So the question then becomes how to effectively deal
with conflict when it arises. It is essential for organizational health and
performance that conflict be accepted and addressed through effective conflict
resolution processes. While having a conflict resolution structure is important,
effective utilization of conflict resolution processes is ultimately dependant
upon the ability of all parties to understand the benefits of conflict resolution,
and perhaps more importantly, their desire to resolve the matter. The
following tips will help to more effective handle conflicts in the workplace:
1. Define Acceptable Behavior: You know what they say about
assuming…Just having a definition for what constitutes acceptable behavior is
a positive step in avoiding conflict. Creating a framework for decisioning,
using a published delegation of authority statement, encouraging sound
business practices in collaboration, team building, leadership development,
and talent management will all help avoid conflicts. Having clearly defined job
descriptions so that people know what’s expected of them, and a well
articulated chain of command to allow for effective communication will also
help avoid conflicts. Clearly and publicly make it known what will and won't
be tolerated.
2. Hit Conflict Head-on: While you can’t always prevent conflicts, it has
been my experience that the secret to conflict resolution is in fact conflict
prevention where possible. By actually seeking out areas of potential conflict
and proactively intervening in a just and decisive fashion you will likely
prevent certain conflicts from ever arising. If a conflict does flair up, you will
likely minimize its severity by dealing with it quickly. Time spent identifying
and understanding natural tensions will help to avoid unnecessary conflict.
3. Understanding the WIIFM Factor: Understanding the other

professionals WIIFM (What’s In It For Me) position is critical. It is absolutely
essential to understand other’s motivations prior to weighing in. The way to
avoid conflict is to help those around you achieve their objectives. If you
approach conflict from the perspective of taking the action that will help
others best achieve their goals you will find few obstacles will stand in your
way with regard to resolving conflict.
4. The Importance Factor: Pick your battles and avoid conflict for the sake
of conflict. However if the issue is important enough to create a conflict then it
is surely important enough to resolve. If the issue, circumstance, or situation
is important enough, and there is enough at stake, people will do what is
necessary to open lines of communication and close positional and/or
philosophical gaps.
5. View Conflict as Opportunity: Hidden within virtually every conflict

is the potential for a tremendous teaching/learning opportunity. Where there
is disagreement there is an inherent potential for growth and development. If
you’re a CEO who doesn’t leverage conflict for team building and leadership
development purposes you’re missing a great opportunity. Divergent positions
addressed properly can stimulate innovation and learning in ways like minds
can't even imagine. Smart leaders look for the upside in all differing opinions.
Bottom line…I believe resolution can normally be found with conflicts where
there is a sincere desire to do so. Turning the other cheek, compromise,
forgiveness, compassion, empathy, finding common ground, being an active
listener, service above self, and numerous other approaches will always allow
one to be successful in building rapport if the underlying desire is strong
enough. However, when all else fails and positional gaps cannot be closed,
resolve the issue not by playing favorites, but by doing the right thing.

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Here’s the thing - leadership and conflict go hand-in-hand.

One of my favorite examples of what I described in the paragraph above is the

Developing effective conflict resolution skill sets are an essential component of

So, what creates conflict in the workplace? Opposing positions, competitive

Communication: If you reflect back upon conflicts you have encountered

Emotions: Another common mistake made in workplace communications

3. Understanding the WIIFM Factor: Understanding the other

5. View Conflict as Opportunity: Hidden within virtually every conflict

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