Peaceful

 Parent  
Happy  Kids:  
How  To  Stop  Yelling  and  
Start  Connecting
Based  on  the  latest  research  on  brain  
development  and  clinical  experience  
with  parents,  Dr.  Laura  Markham's  
approach  is  as  simple  as  it  is  
effective.  Her  message:  Fostering  
emotional  connection  with  your  child  
creates  real  and  lasting  change.  When  
you  have  that  vital  connection,  you  
don't  need  to  threaten,  nag,  plead,  
bribe-­‐-­‐or  ever  punish.      
 
This  remarkable  guide  will  help  
parents  better  understand  their  own  
emotions  -­‐-­‐  and  get  them  in  check  -­‐-­‐  so  
they  can  parent  with  healthy  limits,  
empathy,  and  clear  communication  to  raise  an  emotionally  healthy,  self-­‐disciplined  
child.  Step-­‐by-­‐step  examples  give  solutions  and  kid-­‐tested  phrasing  for  parents  of  
toddlers  right  through  the  elementary  years.  

If  you're  tired  of  power  struggles  and  ready  to  stop  searching  for  the  right  
"consequence"  look  no  further.  You're  about  to  discover  the  practical  tools  you  need  
to  transform  your  parenting  in  a  positive,  proven  way.  

About  the  Author   Publication  Date:    

November  27,  2012  
Dr.  Laura  Markham  writes  extensively  about  
 
parenting  as  the  editor-­‐in-­‐chief  at  AhaParenting.com,  
the  website  of  Aha!  Moments  for  parents  of  kids  from   List  Price:  $15.00  
birth  through  the  teen  years.  She  earned  her  Ph.D.  in    
Clinical  Psychology  from  Columbia  University  and   ISBN:  978-­‐0399160288  
has  worked  as  a  parenting  coach  with  countless    
parents  both  in  person  and  via  phone.  Dr.  Laura   Specs:    trade  paper,  274  
serves  as  an  expert  for  Mothering  Magazine,   pp.    
Pregnancy.org  and  several  other  web  sites.  Her  free    
Daily  Inspiration  and  Weekly  newsletters  reach  a  list   Wholesale  Orders:    
of  nearly  20,000  parents.     Perigee  
   
Contact:    DrLauraMarkham@AhaParenting.com   Retail  Orders:  
Website:  www.AhaParenting.com   Amazon.com,  BN.com  
  Facebook:  AhaParenting.com   Direct  from  the  author   1  
Twitter:  @DrLauraMarkham    
 
 Dr. Laura Markham writes  
extensively  about  parenting  as  the  
editor-­‐in-­‐chief  at  AhaParenting.com,  
the  website  of  Aha!  Moments  for  
parents  of  kids  from  birth  through  the  
teen  years.    
 
She  earned  her  Ph.D.  in  Clinical  
Psychology  from  Columbia  University  
and  has  worked  as  a  parenting  coach  
with  thousands  of  parents  across  the  
English-­‐speaking  world,  both  in  person  and  via  phone.  Her  daily  and  
weekly  newsletters  reach  an  audience  of  more  than  20,000  parents.  
 
Dr.  Laura  serves  as  an  expert  for  Mothering.com,  Pregnancy.org  and  
several  other  web  sites.    She  has  appeared  on  the  Joy  Behar  Show,  the  
Fox  Morning  Show,  and  dozens  of  radio  shows,  and  been  quoted  in  
hundreds  of  parenting  magazines  and  website  interviews.    Her  speaking  
appearances  range  from  morning  coffee  at  preschools  to  keynotes  at  
psychology  conferences.    
 
Now,  her  first  book,  Peaceful  Parent,  Happy  Kids:  How  to  Stop  Yelling  
and  Start  Connecting,  gives  parents  the  hands-­‐on  tools  to  regulate  their  
own  emotions  and  transform  their  relationship  with  their  child,  so  they  
can  raise  a  self-­‐disciplined,  resilient,  happy  kid  who  wants  to  cooperate.  
 
The  mother  of  a  17  year  old  and  a  21  year  old,  Dr.  Laura  says  it  was  
becoming  a  mom  that  convinced  her  that  parents  “are  doing  the  hardest  
job  there  is,  without  effective  tools  and  information.”    Her  aspiration,  
she  says,  is  to  change  the  world  by  supporting  parents,  one  family  at  a  
time.  
 
Contact:    DrLauraMarkham@AhaParenting.com  
Website:  www.AhaParenting.com  
Facebook:  http://www.facebook.com/AhaParenting  
Twitter:  @DrLauraMarkham  

  2  
 Advance  Praise  for  
Peaceful  Parent,  Happy  Kids:  
How  To  Stop  Yelling  and  Start  Connecting
 
"Having  Dr.  Laura  Markham  on  your  bedside  table  is  like  
having  an  angel  on  your  shoulder,  whispering  useful  
secrets  in  your  ear...{She}  shows  us  how  to  replenish  our  
spirits  so  we  can  give  our  kids  the  best  of  ourselves,  not  
what's  left  of  ourselves."  -­‐-­‐Jack  Canfield,  co-­‐creator  of  the  
Chicken  Soup  for  the  Soul  books,  from  the  Foreword  
 
“To  declare  peace  in  your  home,  follow  Dr.  Laura  Markham's  
original,  authentic  advice.  I’m  delighted  by  her  suggestion  of  
discipline  without  punishment.  With  her  emphasis  on  taking  
responsibility  for  our  own  emotional  states  and  connecting  
rather  than  controlling,  Dr.  Laura  offers  us  suggestions  that  
help  us  to  create  strong  relationships  with  our  children.  If  we  
all  followed  Dr.  Laura's  advice,  we  would  indeed  change  the  
world."  -­Peggy  O'Mara,  Founder  of  Mothering.  

“If  you’re  a  parent  who  has  been  trying  hard  with  your  child,  with  mixed  results,  
read  this  book.  Peaceful  Parents,  Happy  Kids  can  change  your  parenting  life.  Dr.  
Laura  Markham  shares  an  invaluable  set  of  insights  that  are  new  to  the  world  of  
parenting.  She’s  practical,  she’s  straightforward,  and  she  never  forgets  how  deeply  
we  parents  want  to  love  our  children  well.  Dr.  Markham  will  show  you  how  to  
deliver  your  love  and  guidance  in  a  truly  nurturing  way,  and  how  to  avoid  parental  
burn-­‐out  in  the  process.”  –  Patty  Wipfler,  Founder  of  Hand-­‐in-­‐Hand.org  

"Dr.  Laura  shows  parents  how  their  empathy  can  wire  their  child's  brain  for  
emotional  regulation  and  happiness  -­‐-­‐  and  a  brighter  future  for  humanity.  Her  
understanding  and  knowledge  of  the  many  challenges  of  raising  loving,  
compassionate  children  gives  parents  powerful  tools  to  be  the  best  that  they  can  be.  
A  simple,  yet  revolutionary,  message  of  love."  -­‐  Nancy  Samalin,  M.S,  best  selling  
parenting  author  whose  most  recent  book  is  Loving  Without  Spoiling.    

Peaceful  Parents,  Happy  Kids  has  two  important  ideas  and  one  revolutionary  idea.    Dr.  
Laura’s  guidance  on  fostering  connection  and  coaching  instead  of  controlling  are  the  
important  ideas,  and  they  can  make  a  huge  difference  in  your  life  as  a  parent.    Her  
explanation  of  why  parents  need  to  regulate  ourselves  first—before  we  can  help  
regulate  our  children-­-­is  the  revolutionary  idea.    Read  it  and  you’ll  see  why  she  calls  
her  work  “Aha!  Parenting.”    -­  Lawrence  J.  Cohen,  PhD,  author  of  Playful  Parenting.  
 
 www.AhaParenting.com         See page 1 for book description  

  3  
 More  Advance  Praise  for  
Peaceful  Parent,  Happy  Kids  
"The  Aha!  moment  in  Dr.  Laura  Markham's  Peaceful  Parent,  Happy  Kids  is  that  
attachment  isn't  just  for  babies.  Attachment  provides  the  foundation  for  the  growing  
child  to  learn  emotional  intelligence,  empathy,  and  responsibility  while  he  masters  his  
environment.  Dr.  Laura  teaches  by  example,  holding  parents  with  compassion  as  she  
gives  them  priceless,  easy  to  use  strategies  to  create  a  secure,  healthy  attachment  with  
their  child.”  -­‐  Lysa  Parker  &  Barbara  Nicholson,  Founders  of  Attachment  Parenting  
International  and  authors  of    Attached  at  the  Heart:  8  Proven  Parenting  Principles  for  
Raising  Connected  and  Compassionate  Children.  
 
“Parents,  this  is  the  book  we've  all  been  waiting  for!    Dr.  Laura  Markham’s  compassion,  
wisdom,  common  sense,  love  and  understanding  radiates  in  each  carefully  chosen  word,  
example  and  suggestion  throughout  this  well-­‐written,  easy-­‐to-­‐read,  delicious  book  on  
peaceful  parenting.  From  her  chapter  on  effectively  managing  anger,  “Listen  to  your  
anger,  rather  than  act  on  it”  to  my  favorite  quote,  “Your  child  is  acting  like  a  child  
because  he  is  one”  you’ll  know  you’ve  found  your  parenting  bible!    Thank  you  Dr.  
Markham.”  -­‐    Rev.  Susan  Nason,  Parent  Educator  and  
Consultant  
 
“A  much  needed  resource  for  parents….encouragement  and  
actionable,  doable,  advice  for  parents  to  strengthen  their  
connection  with  their  children,  and  take  care  of  themselves.  
Clearly  helps  parents  to  see  how  what  they  are  doing  today  
impacts  and  influences  what  happens  tomorrow,  yet  the  tone  
is  gentle  and  non-­‐judgmental.  Such  a  user  friendly  format  for  
(often)  weary  parents.”  -­‐  Lisa  Sunbury,  Regarding  Baby  
 
“I  have  worked  with  over  100  different  parenting  educators  as  
host  of  the  Great  Parenting  Show.  Dr.  Laura  Markham  is  wildly  
popular  with  our  international  community!  She  has  such  a  
warm,  approachable  style,  based  both  on  her  own  experiences  
as  a  parent,  and  as  a  psychologist.  Her  work  is  practical,  easy-­‐
to-­‐apply  and  transformative!  Get  a  cup  of  coffee,  find  a  comfy  
chair,  and  be  prepared  to  get  great  advice  from  a  wise,  new  
friend  and  fellow  parent!”  -­‐  Jacqueline  Green,  Host  of  the  
Great  Parenting  Show.  
 
 
 
www.AhaParenting.com         See page 1 for book description

  4  
 Suggested  Segment  Ideas  
 
for  
Dr.  Laura  Markham  
author  of  
Peaceful  Parent  Happy  Kids:  
How  To  Stop  Yelling  and  Start  Connecting  
 
Dr.  Laura’s  warm,  lively,  compassionate  tone  encourages  and  inspires  parents  while  
giving  them  practical  tools  for  a  more  peaceful  family  life  –  and  better-­‐behaved  kids.    
 
How  To  Get  Your  Kid  To  Do  What  You  Want  without  Yelling  
The  million-­‐dollar  question  for  parents,  finally  answered!  Dr.  Laura  
gives  parents  the  practical  tools  they  need  to  stop  yelling  and  start  
connecting,  so  both  parents  and  kids  regulate  their  emotions  –  and  their  
behavior!  
 
 Why  a  great  connection  with  your  child  is  what  helps  him  behave.  
 How  kids  learn  to  regulate  their  emotions.    
 How  to  set  effective  limits.      
 How  to  regulate  your  own  emotions  when  you  want  to  thrash  your  child.    
 The  mistakes  parents  make  that  inadvertently  cause  kids  to  misbehave.  
 How  to  get  your  child  cooperating  without  yelling,  threats  or  punishment.  
 
Why  Time  In  Works  Better  than  Time  Out  
Dr.  Laura  turns  conventional  child-­‐raising  advice  on  its  head  with  her  
stand  against  Time  Outs.    Instead,  she  gives  parent-­‐tested  solutions  that  
work  better  than  Time  Out  to  help  your  child  learn  to  regulate  his  
emotions  and  develop  self-­‐discipline.    The  result?    A  child  who  not  only  
wants  to  behave,  but  who  can  manage  his  emotions—and  therefore  his  
behavior.  
 
 Why  punishment  backfires,  timeouts  teach  kids  to  misbehave,  and  consequences  
are  usually  perceived  as  punishment.    
 The  Sweet  spot  between  authoritarian  and  permissive  parenting  that  raises  great  
kids.    
 Without  punishment,  how  do  you  get  kids  to  behave?  
 Dealing  with  kids’  aggression  and  other  difficult  behaviors.  
 
DrLauraMarkham@AhaParenting.com  

  5  
 Suggested  Interview  Questions  
for  
Dr.  Laura  Markham  
author  of  
Peaceful  Parent  Happy  Kids:  
How  To  Stop  Yelling    
and  Start  Connecting  
 
 
1.  How  would  you  describe  the  parenting  approach  you  recommend?  
 
2.  How  is  your  approach  different  from  what  parents  usually  hear  about  
how  to  get  kids  behaving?  
 
3.    Do  you  really  believe  that  kids  don’t  need  punishment  to  learn  to  
behave?    
 
4.  Without  punishment,  how  do  children  learn  self-­‐discipline?  
 
5.  What’s  the  Sweet  Spot  between  Authoritarian  and  Permissive  
parenting?  
 
6.  Does  this  kind  of  parenting  really  work?  Is  there  research  to  support  
it?  
 
7.  Is  this  the  same  as  Positive  Discipline?  
 
8.    Can  you  give  us  some  age-­‐specific  advice?  Terrible  Twos?  Three  Year  
old  whining?  Bossy  four  year  olds?    Five  year  olds  who  don’t  listen?  
 
9.  What  about  difficult  kids?    Does  this  work  with  them?  
 
10.  Can  you  give  us  three  practical  tips  that  parents  can  put  into  practice  
today?  
 
 
DrLauraMarkham@AhaParenting.com

  6  
 What  Parents  Have  to  Say  about  
Dr.  Laura  Markham    
and  Aha!  Parenting
 
My  entire  family  dynamic  has  positively  changed  and  I  attribute  it  mostly  to  Dr.  Laura  
Markham  and  Aha!  Parenting.com.  I  suspect  you  will  not  think  it  corny  when  I  say  you  
are  changing  the  world.  -­‐  Jennifer  Andersen,  OurMuddyBoots.com.  

I  read  Dr.  Laura  every  day  and  I  can  actually  feel  my  brain  being  
rewired.  I  sense  myself  making  continual  progress  towards  the  
mother  I  want  to  be.  I'm  learning  to  love  myself  unconditionally  
along  the  way,  too.  –  Mamammalia,  Biologist  and  Blogger  

Following  your  advice  has  meant  our  son  rarely  has  tantrums  
anymore.  Dr.  Laura's  advice  really  works  and  makes  being  a  
parent  (and  a  child,  I'd  say)  much  better.  I  don't  pretend  I  am  
perfect  all  the  time,  but  she  helps  me  to  learn  and  do  better  by  
my  son.  –Beatrice,  mother  of  two  year  old  boy.    

If  I  thought  for  a  minute  that  this  connection-­‐based  parenting  

style  was  resulting  in  a  bratty,  selfish,  entitled,  walk-­‐all-­‐over-­‐you  
kid,  I  would  drop  it  like  a  hot  potato.  Thankfully,  I  don't  have  to,  
because  I  find  just  the  opposite.  My  daughter  is  almost  9,  we  
have  a  great  connection,  she  is  thriving  and  a  pleasure  to  be  
around.  –  Jennifer,  mother  of  nine  year  old.  

I  don't  know  if  you  really  understand  what  you  are  doing  for  parents,  children,  families,  
and  the  world.  You  have  enabled  me  to  CHANGE  myself,  something  I  never  thought  I  
could  do.  Your  writing  taught  me  to  really  reflect  on  who  I  was  first,  which  was  key  to  
my  ability  to  reflect  on  myself  as  a  parent.  When  I  read  your  words  I  can  feel  how  much  
you  love  and  respect  children.-­‐  Kimberley  Yvette  Price,  TheSingleCrunch.com  

Once  I  started  reading  Dr.  Laura,  I  learned  how  to  melt  my  own  hardened  heart.  This  is  
not  to  say  that  I'm  a  perfect  parent  now  or  that  my  child  always  listens.  But  Dr.  Laura  
has  probably  saved  me  from  a  nervous  breakdown  and  has  given  me  the  gift  of  enjoying  
my  daughter  again.  –  Amanda,  mother  of  one  year  old  &  four  year  old.  

www.AhaParenting.com         See page 1 for book description

  7  
More  Parents  Talking  about  Dr.  Laura  Markham    
Dr.  Laura  takes  philosophy  and  puts  it  into  everyday,  practical  application.  As  a  result,  I  
have  a  child  whose  loving  behavior  is  commented  on  daily  by  others.  I’m  told  I‘m  lucky  
with  my  daughter,  but  I  believe  her  disposition  is  the  result  of  following  Dr.  Laura's  
advice.  I  do  not  do  Time  Outs,  I  do  not  spank,  in  fact,  I  don't  even  raise  my  voice,  let  
alone  yell.  The  more  I  read  Dr.  Laura,  the  easier  it  becomes.  I'm  certainly  not  perfect,  
but  Dr.  Laura  gives  us  permission  to  be  imperfect  and  try  again.    My  happy,  content,  
‘well-­‐behaved'  toddler  who  has  so  much  to  do  with  what  Dr.  Laura  teaches.  I  couldn't  do  
without  her  and  am  grateful  for  her  teachings  every  day.  –  Julie,  mother  of  a  2  year  old.  

I  had  just  read  Dr.  Laura’s  blog  about  staying  calm  and  acknowledging  his  desires.  When  
the  screaming  and  stomping  began,  I  stopped  what  I  was  doing  and  sat  down  next  to  
him,  made  eye  contact,  listened  to  his  complaint  and  did  not  let  the  screaming  anger  
me.I  then  calmly  explained  that  I  hear  him.  I  know  cheesy  poofs  are  so  tasty,  I  love  them  
too  but  he  will  have  to  wait    until  dinnertime.  He  blubbered  briefly,  collapsed  into  my  
arms  for  a  minute  and  then  went  to  play.  My  husband  congratulated  me  on  keeping  my  
cool.  He  was  pleasant  the  rest  of  the  evening.  Wow!  –  Aimee,  mother  of  three  year  old.  

When  I  feel  frustrated  with  my  son,  I  think...  what  would  Dr.  Laura  do?  
One  of  the  biggest  lessons  I've  learned  is  that  as  soon  as  I  start  operating  
like  we  are  on  the  ‘same  team,’  my  son  picks  up  on  my  attitude  shift  and  
often  immediately  softens  his  behaviors  and  is  ready  to  compromise.  
You  have  taught  me  that  I  should  never  expect  perfection  from  myself.  
This  has  truly  liberated  me  to  think  of  myself  as  a  good  parent...  thereby  
leading  me  to  make  better  and  more  loving  parenting  decisions!  –  
Charlotte,  mother  of  four  year  old.  

Dr.  Laura…I  tell  everyone  I  know,  even  strangers,  about  your  peaceful  
form  of  parenting.  I  love  the  challenge  of  staying  on  top  of  your  own  
emotions,  getting  at  the  root  of  the  problem  your  child  is  having,  slowing  
down  to  allow  the  full  connection  with  your  child,  deep  breaths,  lots  of  
love.  It  is  incredible  the  transformation  that  has  occurred  in  my  family.  I  feel  so  fortunate  
to  have  found  you.  The  best  part  about  it  is  that  you  don't  have  to  be  perfect.  Instead  of  
creating  blow  up  moments  in  your  day  you  create  connections,  loving  times  and  share  
your  real  emotions  with  your  children.  These  real  moments  teach  our  children  how  to  be  
the  best  they  can  be,  not  perfect,  just  real.  Thank  you  Dr.  Laura  Markham  for  bringing  so  
much  knowledge  and  love  to  parenting.  –  Carrie  B.,  mother  of  two  boys  under  age  four.  
 
 
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