1) The author fell in love with a man he met in a cafe who later became his friend and senior in engineering school.
2) The author confessed his love by writing "I love you" on cardboard and presenting it to the man at his apartment.
3) However, the man said he only saw the author as a friend and that their love was "wrong". This deeply hurt the author.
4) The author accepted they were not meant to be lovers but would remain friends, and learned not to love again from this painful experience.
1) The author fell in love with a man he met in a cafe who later became his friend and senior in engineering school.
2) The author confessed his love by writing "I love you" on cardboard and presenting it to the man at his apartment.
3) However, the man said he only saw the author as a friend and that their love was "wrong". This deeply hurt the author.
4) The author accepted they were not meant to be lovers but would remain friends, and learned not to love again from this painful experience.
1) The author fell in love with a man he met in a cafe who later became his friend and senior in engineering school.
2) The author confessed his love by writing "I love you" on cardboard and presenting it to the man at his apartment.
3) However, the man said he only saw the author as a friend and that their love was "wrong". This deeply hurt the author.
4) The author accepted they were not meant to be lovers but would remain friends, and learned not to love again from this painful experience.
1) The author fell in love with a man he met in a cafe who later became his friend and senior in engineering school.
2) The author confessed his love by writing "I love you" on cardboard and presenting it to the man at his apartment.
3) However, the man said he only saw the author as a friend and that their love was "wrong". This deeply hurt the author.
4) The author accepted they were not meant to be lovers but would remain friends, and learned not to love again from this painful experience.
every human can express. But what if I say to you that my love is different from others, that only very few can understand. This is my love story.
Seeing and wondering my life everyday being alone
is very usual to me,I used to be alone every time I get through my life,every birthdays, new year, christmas or every special occasion I used to be alone, even my family, I don't wanna share to them my every day life expiriences. Yes, I am a loner person,I don't want to hang out with others because I am afraid of rejections that one day somebody will leave me alone. I am afraid because Im not that usual guy, ummmm. You know what I mean not that sraight.I am the guy that is full of pretentions in life I identify my self as heteroflexible (straight identifying them self as bisexual but still attracted to the same sex).
Studying for my next week exam in the cafe, there
this one guy who approached and ask me if I could share my table to him, because the cafe is full of customers. Then I calmly agreed to him. Being focused on the review, a soft laugh coming to him, then I asked "why are you laughing ? " Why are you so serious in studying? He replied, I said, "because I'm doing it for my self to have a good future , to be independent someday and live my life alone." Alone? Why would you have to be alone?" You know life is boring to be alone, you should try to find someone who's gonna be with you", he said, "well, im not like other people who needs someone to complete their life, being by my self is enough" I replied. Then our convo stops. Without knowing, He knows my name to that short chatting , because he saw my name on the cup of my coffee which I ordered in the cafe when we first met. One day while walking and excited to go home, being happy because I passed the long examination test,when I suddenly bumped into the same guy that I have met in the cafe and he said "oh you again, how are you" I didn't reply and continued walking when he suddenly call my name. And I asked, "how did you know my name?" "its not important, what matters is I know you now and i want to make friend with you, would you mind making friend with me? I snobbed him and ran faster to avoid him.
Until oneday I discovered that he is my senior in the
same faculty of engineering.
Then there this one assignment for us juniors to
make for one week only. We need to approach all seniors to sign our logbook in engineering. All went well through signing my book but there's one senior left, the guy that I have met in the cafe, I asked him to sign my logbook but a big no comes into his mouth, I asked him why? He said, "I'll sign if you'll make friend with me and join me to lunch to talk", in order to make things faster, I agree to what he just said even if i don't feel comfortable with him.
During lunch time, we've been chatting together and
I found out that he is a very humorous person, a person that you can talk to when you were down and unhappy, he is a little bit joker but with serious side of personality. After that lunch break chatting with him. I used to have lunch with him everyday, it seems that I found a new friend that I never had before in my life. The feeling that you're life is added by colors of love and happiness. The blindness that I felt in the society of accepting me of who I am is healed by a single personality. I gave gratitude to him by giving him letter to let him know how much thankful I am when I knew him. He is a very adventurous man, whenever he travels to places, he always asks me to come with him. I never felt this way before. I felt that I am a jigsaw puzzle that is incomplete until this guy came to my life who completed and let me xperience the adventurous life that I never felt before when I am with my shell hiding because of the judgement of the society towards the gender identity that I am living in. He unlocks the best in me, he helped me create the destiny of my life.
"Ohh.. What's this feeling? " I askes my self, "I never
felt it before, Oh my... Is this love?"
If love hits and beats in your heart you can't do
anything but follow what's in it.
So I decided to confess my love unto him. Using
cardboards, I wrote the simple but meaningful words in my life"I Love You".
I want that my confession is secret to others and
only the two of us can know, so I decided to go to his apartment and knocked the door three times, then he finally opened the door, I said "hold on, I have something to tell you, First of all I am very thankful to God that I met you in my life you're the only one who let me experience the life that I never experienced before when I was lonely, now that I have proved my self that I have some feelings towards you Just want to say" (showing the cardboards with the words "I Love You").
Being in the middle of silence A tear dropped into
my eyes, this was the first time I fell in love with someone. I know that Loving is a risk that every people can make without knowing that love will bounce back to them. So I took the risk even if at the first place I don't want to have feelings to others because I'm afraid of rejections.
Then he finally talks, "You Loved me as what?"
"Don't you feel the same connection that I have felt for you? I love you as special someone" , I said.
"But I just think of you as a friend", He said
Words that made me feel like I am stabbed a million
knives in my heart, thats the consequence of taking the risk of being in love, and this time, the love that I gave to him never bounded back on me.
He said "Im sorry if I can't be you're lover, but it
doesn't mean that I don't love you, Alvin, your love to me isn't just normal as others, I understand how you feel right know but I think your love to me is wrong"
"If it's wrong to love you, I'd rather stay to be wrong
because I Love You" That words came into the deepest part of my heart made me feel weaker.
"I just want you to know that I'll be you're friend no
matter what, I will help you move on the feelings that you have felt to me "
What a nice and gentle guy he is, but what can I do
is to accept the fact that we're just meant to meet each other but did not end up together as lover.
As times go and passes by I'd learn to move on
from my darkest and hurtful hours of my life. This just proved that the love you felt towards other, will not be always coming back to you.
This is the lesson of my life that I will never forget
until my last breath and I promised my self, "I'll never Love again."