Test 5

WRITING (1 hour 30 minutes)

Part 1

You must answer this question. Write your answer in 220-260 words in an appropriate style.

1 Your class has watched a television programme on the reasons why many young people
choose to live in cities. You have made the notes below:

Factors which influence why many

•
young people prefer to live in cities:
·1 I
• work

l education Some opinions expressed in the

discussion:
• culture
----~-~----
"There are a greater range of jobs
available in cities."

"Most universities are in big cities."

"There is so much happening in big

cities."

Write an essay discussing two of the factors in your notes which influence why many
young people choose to live in cities. You should identify which factor you think is more
significant, providing reasons to support your opinion.
You may, if you wish, make use of the opinions expressed in the discussion, but you should
use your own words as far as possible.

22
Marks and results

Sample A (Test 5, Question 1 - Essay)

Young people living in cities

Nowadays many young people prefer to live in the big cities. There are many factors that have inftuence
on their decision, but the most common are work and education.

It is the job that really matters to all of us and especially to the young generation. They all want a high
salary, which will provide them a good and stable life. But as we know the wider range ofjobs can be
found in the big cities and that is why young people choose to live there.
The other reason, which is really important for students, is the education. Most of the good
universities are located in the cities and the young have no choice, because the majority realise that if
you want to succeed in the life, you need to have an excellent education.
Also the educational system is better in towns than in villages. A bigger variety of programmes is
available and you can have a chance to get an internship, which will be really helpful in the future when
you are trying to ftnd a good job.

Of course, there are more reasons like night life, that will always attract the young people to choose
the big city than the small one. However, the work and the education will be the most important,
because they have a vital importance in the life of all of us.

Scales Mark Commentary

Content 3 Two factors - work and education - are discussed but no choice is
made as to which is more important (with supporting reasons); the
target reader is on the whole informed.

Communicative Achievement 4 Essay conventions are used with sufficient flexibil ity to communicate
straightforward and complex ideas in an effective way. The register is
appropriate.

Organisation 4 Well organised with clear opening and closing sections. Ideas are
presented logically, each paragraph developing a new point. Cohesive
devices and organisational patterns, such as referencing, are used
naturally and effectively to link ideas within and across paragraphs
creating a coherent text. Accurate punctuation.

Language 3 There is a range of vocabulary, including less common lexis, used

appropriately ('influence on their decision', 'provide ... a stable life', 'a
chance to get an internship', 'a vital importance') and a range of simple
and complex grammatical forms used with control ('if you want to
succeed .. ., you need to have .. . ', 'which will be useful ... when you are
trying to find .. .'). T he occasional errors do not impede communication.

110
Test 8

WRITING (1 hour 30 minutes)

Part 1

You must answer this question. Write your answer in 220-260 words in an appropriate style.

1 Your class has listened to a radio discussion about different ways of looking after young
children. You have made the notes below:

Ways of looking after young children:

• at home with parents or other family members
• in nurseries or pre-schools
• with a professional nanny Some opinions expressed in the discussion:

"Children develop best when they spend a

lot of time with their family."

"It's important for children to learn to get

along with other children."

"Nannies are trained to deal with all sorts of

situations."

Write an essay for your tutor discussing two of the ways of looking after young children in
your notes. You should explain which way is more beneficial and provide reasons to
support your opinion.
You may, if you wish, make use of the opinions expressed in the discussion, but you should
use your own words as far as possible.

88
Marks and results

Sample G ( Test 8, Question 1 - Essay)

Nowadays we are surrounded by a lots of different peaces of information on the Internet, in books or
magazines and so on, about how to bring up children. But do you know which the most beneficial way
for your kids is?

To begin with, some parents would prefer to have their children near them and look after them on their
own or with the help of others but still family members. In such situations. the kids would definitely be
provided with the love they need in order to grow up in a accommodative atmosphere and develop their
personality accurately.

On the other hand, there are many parents that do not have enough time and choose to send their
kids in nurseries or pre-schools. Having grown up with other kids, they develop another essential skills
such as the ability to communicate with their peers, to make friends and also to cope with various
situations which they might come across later in real life. Moreover, being amongs other children, they
always have the opportunity to play with them and learn something new while having fun.

In my opinion. the more beneficial way of looking after young kids is in nurseries and pre-schools. It is
the communication with people from all walks of life and the experiencing of new and different things,
which can't be found in the overprotective atmosphere at home, that will give these little humans a
better start for the tough life.

Scales Mark Commentary

Content 5 All content is relevant to the task. Two ways of looking after
children are discussed and a clear choice made as to which is more
beneficia l with supporting reasons.

Communicative Achievement 3 Appropriate essay style is used and there is a suitable, consistent
register throughout. Ideas are communicated effectively, holding
the target reader's attention.

Organisation 4 The text is a well-organised, coherent whole using a variety of

cohesive devices and organisational patterns to generally good
effect. There is a clear structure with an introduction, discussion of
two factors and a developed conclusion. Punctuation is accurate
and effective.

Language 3 There is a range of vocabulary used appropriately including some

less common lexis ('cope with various situations', 'people from
all walks of life', 'overprotective atmosphere'). There is a range
of simple and complex grammatical forms used with control and
flexibility. The occasional errors do not impede communication.

116
Task Type: Essay

Question
You class has watched a documentary about the need for nations to fund space exploration. You
have made the notes below:

Advantages of spending public money on space exploration:

• countries work together to further our understanding of the universe

• we may discover raw materials.
• possible new living space for the world's growing population.

Some opinions expressed in the documentary:

• It's human nature to want to understand where we come from.

• We should stop exploiting natural resources.
• The world's growing population needs further space to live.

Write an essay discussing TWO of the advantages given for space exploration in your notes You
should explain which reason is most important, giving reasons in support of your answer.

You may, if you wish, make use of the opinions expressed in the documentary, but you should
use your own words as far as possible. (around 220-260 words)

Makeover: Elena

Read Elena's answer to this question below. Try correcting the piece of writing yourself first: use
the marking codes to think about what might be wrong (or what's good) about the piece of work.
Then when you're ready, click the green buttons in the text for our feedback.

Funding the space exploration and its priorities – (It's not necessary to use a title with an essay.)

For many years, people had a dream about space voyages. Such significant events as the first
human space flight, /\ (the) first step on the surface of the moon and /\ (the) first hug of the
participants of the International Soyuz-Apollo space mission, have become milestones in the
history of space exploration. It was a major breakthrough for science and now we can’t imagine
our life without modern communication facilities such as satellite television or broadcasting
systems.

Nowadays, the International Space Station has become the main platform for scientific
discoveries and the science lab where scientists from many countries do their collaborative
work. It is not only the celestial bodies that are being observed by an international body of
scientists but also experiments. For many scientists the only place where exact results could be
achieved is this space laboratory. Without a doubt, this is the question WW (This could be
expressed as 'a matter'. )of vital importance for physicists, microbiologists and other experts on
WW (in) natural sciences.

One of the greatest advantages of the International Space Station is that it accepts space tourists.
A few space travelers have already been there. This fact draws our attention to another benefit
of space exploration. It is the strong possibility of life in space, which we have seen before in
science fiction movies, where people did interstellar trips taking space crafts like we take trains,
buses or taxis. While it is true that people need more space for living, we shouldn’t forget that
the main problem is unequal density of population on our planet. Some regions are very
overcrowded whereas the –(no article needed) other WF (others) are almost deserted or spoiled
by the negative activity of people.

Having weighted WF (The expression is 'Having weighed up') both sides of this issue, it is
important to know how to rectify the situation with the WW (This would be better as 'concerning'
or 'regarding'. ) environmental problems. /\ ('However' would be useful here. I think you need to
signpost to the reader that although environmental issues and living space are important, they are not
your main concern. Without ‘However’, the reader has to work a little to get your meaning. ) one of
the main risks of investing money in finding additional living space for people is that we can’t
afford this funding, it is too expensive for us now. Therefore we should focus on scientific
researches WF (research) in space to further our knowledge about the universe and the
elements. We also should study the influence of these elements on our planet and be aware of
how to make our life on our wonderful blue planet better.

Feedback

This is a good essay, Elena. You have answered the question fully, organised your ideas clearly
and written in an appropriate semi-formal style. Your use of English is very accurate and you’ve
used some excellent vocabulary and sentence constructions.

I would be careful of going too far over the word limit. 20, 30, 40 words is no problem but at 365
words this was 100 words over. Examiners wouldn’t necessarily penalise this but one of the
things you’re being assessed on is being able to organise your thoughts in such a way that you
are able to keep to the word limit, more or less. Having said that, the main thing is that what you
write is completely appropriate to the task and what you’ve written here is - but do try to keep
closer to the word limit.

Well done!
Task Type: Essay

Question
Your class has had a discussion about the importance of the Internet in our lives. You have made
the notes below:

Reasons why the Internet has become so important:

• the opportunity it offers to buy and sell online.

• the ease with which we can keep in contact with friends or relations.
• its use as a study tool.

Some opinions expressed in the discussion:

• Social media allows me to stay in contact with family members all over the country.
• You can shop around, read reviews and get good bargains on the web.
• The Internet offers me an enormous library to help with my studies.

Write an essay discussing TWO of the reasons given for the importance of the Internet. You
should explain which reason is most important, giving reasons in support of your answer.

You may, if you wish, make use of the opinions expressed in the discussion, but you should use
your own words as far as possible. (around 220-260 words)

Makeover: Uti

Read Uti's answer to this question below. Try correcting the piece of writing yourself first: use
the marking codes to think about what might be wrong (or what's good) about the piece of work.
Then when you're ready, click the green buttons in the text for our feedback.

Who could ever have imagined 20 years ago that almost every adult person in the developed
world has WT (This should be 'would have'. You need to use this structure to express 'future in the
past'. ) a device that enables WT (In keeping with the previous mistake, we need to complete this
statement expressing future in the past. This should be 'enabled'. ) them to connect to people around
the globe. The invention of the Internet in particular and the technical progress made in general
has shaped our lives in many respects and made this possible.

Naturally, the consequences for society are profound. I believe, (P) the biggest single effect it
has had is, (P) that it has become so much easier to get and stay in touch with friends,
colleagues and family and follow up on what they are doing. If one has a gadget that can
connect to the Internet equipped with a camera and speakers people can use Skype. This
program allows them to see each other while talking. Who would ever have thought this
feasible! R (As this is an essay it is probably a good idea to avoid direct questions to the reader and
exclamation marks. These are features more often found in less formal contexts such as an email or
letter to a friend. This could be expressed instead as 'People would never have thought this were
feasible'. ) What’s more, through social websites such as Twitter, Facebook and the likes of it
PE (This could be expressed as 'similar services'. ) text message services and email one can reach a
much broader audience much faster than before the invention of the Internet. Keeping this in
mind, we should not underestimate the risks that go with it. Terrorist groups may just as well
WW (This would be better as 'easily'. ) use these services to spread their messages.
The changes concerning the Internet has WF (This should be 'have'. ) impacted greatly on us as
private individuals. However, business are just as effected. For instance; the German
government has introduced a scheme that /\ (You need a verb here. Something like 'stipulates'
would work well. ) from January 1, 2016 German courts and lawyers communicate exclusively
via a secure email system rather than in the old fashioned way.

Another example that showcases the importance of the Internet is how easy it has become to
study at home rather than going to libraries or sitting in classes. Material on the Internet is easily
accessible, though sometimes there is just too much material available and it is rather difficult to
find what you are looking for. With the use of the Internet students have much more flexibility
in terms of their time management. No matter where they are and when they find the time; all
they need is Internet access.

Feedback

A very good essay Uti. You’ve dealt with two of the points listed, organised your response
clearly and shown an advanced use of English.
The tense corrections in the first paragraph are to do with what’s called ‘future in the past’ -
when you describe a future situation when the time frame is in the past. If you were making this
prediction in 'real time' you would say:
… the developed world will have a device that enables them to connect to people …
To express the same thing but as stated in the past we put the verbs in the past tense.
Apart from that, well done!
Task Type: Essay

Question
Your class has had a discussion about the negative effects of globalisation on local
culture. You have made the notes below:

Effects of globalisation:

• the dominance of the western music/film industry.

• the loss of national identity.
• the undermining of values of a local culture.

Some opinions expressed in the discussion:

• We don't want to see the same culture wherever we travel.

• People are free to enjoy whichever music, films or fashion they wish.
• Young people are losing the sense of values their parents had.

Write an essay discussing TWO of the effects listed in your notes. You should
explain which effect is more important, giving reasons in support of your answer.

You may, if you wish, make use of the opinions expressed in the discussion, but
you should use your own words as far as possible. (around 220-260 words)

Makeover: Elena

Read Elena's answer to this question below. Try correcting the piece of writing
yourself first: use the marking codes to think about what might be wrong (or what's
good) about the piece of work. Then when you're ready, click the green buttons in
the text for our feedback.

It goes without saying that the process of globalization has WT (This should be
'has had'. You need to use the present perfect tense here as the meaning is 'up
until now'. ) a dramatic impact on all areas of human activity. Politics, economy
and culture in many countries are under the influence of such an attractive idea as
the idea of the consolidation of many nations. However, despite its evident
benefits, globalization has downsides, which draw WT (This should be in the
present perfect tense: 'have drawn'. Another collocation that would work well
here is 'come to the attention' and would be expressed as 'have come to the
attention of'. ) the attention of many people in different countries.

Let's R (This would be better as 'Let us'. As this is an essay it's a good idea to
show the examiner you appreciate the need for a more formal tone or register.
For this reason, try to avoid using contractions in an essay. ) focus on such an
important part of mass culture as /\ (the) movie industry. It is universally
acknowledged, that the Hollywood movies are domineering in T/WF (dominate)
the film market. Being in the top-list of internationally recognized movies, they
have enormous box-office takings. My country is not an T/WW (This could also
be expressed as 'is no exception'. ) exception. Despite the fact that during the last
10 years quite a few motion pictures of a high quality were released, the great
majority of people in Russia are in a great deal WW (The expression you need
here is ' are to a large extent'. ) unaware not only of the modern trends of film art
in our country but /\ (This is an example of a 'not only ... but also' structure. So, to
complete 'not only of the modern trends of film art in our country' we need 'but
also in other European countries.' ) in other European countries.

Paying tribute to the best American movies which emphasize universal values, it
wouldn't come R/WW (This should be 'would not be amiss'. 'Would not' is more
formal and appropriate in an essay'. 'Not be amiss' is a set expression. ) amiss to
mention the not so good ones. After watching these films we have, so called side
effect WF (effects) such as undermining /\ (the) values of local culture and
traditions. It is happening because the messages of these films do not come across
properly T/WW (This would be better as 'do not come across well '. ) Therefore,
instead of the ideas about the value of every individual, freedom of choice and
love between people, we have these conceptions substituted by aggression,
permissiveness and disobedience to seniors.

Nevertheless, I am not willing to be so pessimistic, thatWW (which) is why I

totally believe in the wisdom and common sense of people throughout the world.
Only understanding that consolidation does not mean sameness but, actually, it
should be based on the value of the unity of various cultures, that is what can help
people to tackle this problem. SS (This should be something like 'Only by
understanding that consolidation does not mean sameness but valuing of the
unity of various cultures, will people be able to tackle this problem. '
Remember the set structure 'Only by ..., will ...'.)

Feedback

This is generally a good essay Elena. You have focussed on two of the points listed
and given a full and thoughtful answer to the question. Your organisation is also
clear with good use of paragraphs and cohesive devices. There are lots of examples
of good choices of vocabulary and advanced use of English. Overall, your ideas are
communicated very clearly and in an engaging, semi-formal register. The reader
would be fully informed.
Well done!
Task Type: Essay

Question
Your class has watched a documentary about the decline in the number of local buildings with an
historic interest. You have made the notes below:

Factors behind the decline include:

• a lack of space within inner cities for commercial and residential developments.
• the fact that these buildings are not seen as worthy of preservation by town planners.
• insufficient public funds to support the preservation of these buildings.

Some opinions expressed in the documentary:

• We need to preserve old buildings for future generations.

• Buildings with a local historical interest can be good for tourism.
• Some of these buildings no longer serve a purpose and should be replaced with modern
alternatives.

Write an essay discussing TWO of the reasons given for the decline in such buildings in your
notes. You should explain which factor is more important, giving reasons in support of your
answer.

You may, if you wish, make use of the opinions expressed in the documentary, but you should
use your own words as far as possible. (around 220-260 words)

Makeover: Joy

Read Joy's answer to this question below. Try correcting the piece of writing yourself first: use
the marking codes to think about what might be wrong (or what's good) about the piece of work.
Then when you're ready, click the green buttons in the text for our feedback.

The latest studies show that there is a decrease of WW (This should be 'in the'.) number of old-
fashioned buildings in the hearts of our cities. Often these buildings used to serve as factories or
appartments S (apartments) for a long time until they were thought to be not enough practical
WO (not practical enough) anymore.

The most significant reason for this decline is the increasing demand of WW (for) place WW
(space) in the cities. As they grow bigger the search for good places gets harder and not seldom
WW (A good phrase to use here is 'more often than not'.) historic houses have to make way for
new and modern facilities. Old buildings are often in need of costly renovation. Therefore it
seems easier to pull them down and build something new instead. Gd (This was very nicely
expressed!)

As already mentioned, a second factor is surely the lack of money provided to preserve the
historical buildings. Instead of restoring old houses, people in charge decide to take them away
and build something totally new which is cheaper and therefore a big advantage at first glance.
Gd (Again, well expressed!)

What most people seem to forget Gd (This is an excellent phrase to use here.) is that most of the
tourists get WW (We say 'are attracted') attracted by a city’s old town. The historical buildings
are the bumping WW (The word you are looking for here is 'beating' as in the expression 'the beating
heart of a city') heart of a living city. People love to discover historical places, to drink coffee
between old-fashioned houses and they shop rather WO/WW (This should be 'prefer to
shop'/'would rather shop') in nice little boutiques than in big warehouses. That is, after all, a
good reason to preserve historical buildings.

Feedback

A very good response to the task, Joy. This is just what the question asked for: you’ve discussed
two of the points listed and picked the one you think is the most important. You've included your
own views and expressed these in your own words. The style is suitable for an essay, it’s well
organised and your use of English, including grammar and vocabulary is good.

There were only a few mistakes:

• ‘enough’ usually comes after the adjective/adverb it describes, not before.

• ‘more often than not’ is a useful phrase to learn in this context.
• we talk about the ‘beating heart of a city’.
• and pay attention to how we use ‘rather’.

Well done!