Batman 2
Batman 2
Batman 2
FIRST DRAFT
NOTE ALSO: THE HARD COPY OF THIS SCRIPT WAS IN THE NON-
PREFORMAT FONT "BOOKMAN OLD". THIS HAS BEEN CHANGED TO
PREFORMATTED TEXT FOR THIS SOFT COPY.
Mom drags him off past another store window, this one full of
SCRAP METAL, with a sign reading "AUTHENTIC FRAGMENTS OF THE
BATWING -- $19.95 and up." A PANHANDLER is perched at the
entrance. Beneath his array jacket is a grubby sweatshirt
with the familiar yellow-and-black logo. In Gotham this
winter, Batmania is everywhere...
CAROLERS spill around the corner to see what's going on, but a
spray of GUNFIRE sends them scattering in panic. The POLAR
BAR truck pulls even with the jewelry store, and as it does...
The REAR DOORS open. A RAMP slides down from the back of the
truck. The ROBBERS scramble aboard, and mere seconds later
SLIDE out AGAIN -- riding atop five SKIDOO SNOWMOBILES.
The COPS gun the engine, but their wheels are spinning in the
snow -- no traction. They're about to climb out and give
chase on foot when, through the windshield, they see the
Salvation Army SANTA...
COP
What the hell -- ?
ALL EYES TURN at the blare of a horn. The COPS peer down the
long corridor of the cross street -- and see a STRANGE BLACK
VEHICLE barreling toward them at 90 MPH, with no intention of
stopping...
COP I
...That was Batman.
COP II
NO SHIT!!
COP II yanks COP I into the nearest squad car, and the others
follow suit. ENGINES REV. As long as the BATMOBILE's cleared
a path, they might as well join in the chase...
The cops follow along in BATMAN's path. The lead car LOSES
CONTROL and plows headlong into a drift. The DRIVER jams the
pedal, but his rear wheels end up digging a deep rut in the
ice. He sits there cursing, pumping the accelerator as other
COPS race past him on foot.
The DRIVER looks back over his shoulder and sees what appears
to be a BLACK SHARK FIN plowing through the snow behind him,
GAINING FAST. He takes evasive action, but the SHARK FIN
always seems to follow. Just as he approaches the crest of a
hill...
The cable goes taut, and the tree TOPPLES -- directly into the
path of the second SNOWMOBILE. The vehicle crashes into the
trunk, and the hapless ROBBER goes cartwheeling head-over-
heels into a drift.
In the distance, COPS appear -- racing to the scene on foot,
ready for mop-up duty. BATMAN kills the flamethrower, hits
the brakes, and FISHTAILS, doing a quick 180 on the snow.
He's just spotted fresh quarry: snowmobiles three and four,
whizzing over a rolling white pasture in the distance.
They bounce down the hillside and SKID -- arriving at the edge
of a frozen-over LAKE. With the roar of the Batmobile behind
them, the two DRIVERS get the same idea simultaneously.
Smiling, they rev their engines and set out over the surface
of the lake.
Now the Batmobile crests the ridge. The car's weight tips
suddenly and it begins to skid down the hill toward the lake.
BATMAN sees what's happening and kills the flamethrower just
in time -- but he can't brake the car on the snowy slope. The
prow of the Batmobile slides out onto the edge of the lake --
-- and under its weight, the ICE begins to crack. The left
front tire takes a sudden dip -- and worse yet, the car is
sliding forward.
The last of the robbers is SANTA CLAUS -- his big sack filled
not with toys, but precious stones. He approaches the edge of
the park, negotiating his way through a maze of rocky
outcroppings. He squirts out from behind a boulder into a
clearing...
The COPS are spread out near the entrance. They've rounded up
the other ROBBERS and returned most of the loot. They hear a
dull ROAR in the distance...
At the entrance to the park, the NET detaches itself from the
Batmobile, dumping SANTA into the hands of the waiting COPS.
Without stopping, the BATMOBILE roars out of the park and
vanishes whence it came. A mildly-humiliated COP turns to his
colleague and SHRUGS:
COP I
...Merry Christmas.
COP II
Gift-wrapped and everything.
DISSOLVE TO:
GORDON
After a high-speed chase -- over $750,000
in precious jewels were recovered intact
by the police force -- working in concert
with Batman.
VOICES IN CROWD
TAKE BACK THE STREETS! TAKE BACK THE
STREETS! TAKE BACK THE --
GORDON winces and lets out a sigh. The CHANTERS are a group
of pugnacious, well-muscled KIDS, late teens and early
twenties, all dressed in identical garb: black Batman
SWEATSHIRTS and little red Guardian-angel BERETS. They're
obviously members of the same club -- just like the guys we
saw in the park.
GORDON waits for them to shut up, but they don't; so he grabs
the mike and speaks slowly and distinctly, trying to be heard
over the din.
GORDON
I would like to stress -- that while this
city enjoys a special relationship with
Batman --
(louder)
-- we do not condone vigilantism --
(practically screaming)
-- IN ANY FORM.
It's no use. He's totally drowned out by the RED BERETS, who
continue to shout and shake their fists. Giving up, he
returns the mike to a REPORTER and marches up the steps in a
huff. The RED BERETS CHEER.
CUT TO:
WOMAN IN CROWD
You people are nothing but hoodlums!
SEKOWSKY
Hey, lady -- we're out here on patrol
riskin' our necks to protect old biddies
like you.
(into mike)
If this lame-o Gordon could do his job --
ALFRED clears some space on a lab table and sets the tea
service down. He glances up at the bank of video monitors and
sees SEKOWSKY, still babbling, on several channels
simultaneously. He scans the cave, but there's no trace of
BRUCE.
ALFRED
Sir? -- MASTER BRUCE??
BRUCE
I'm not deaf, Alfred. I hear you.
ALFRED
I took the liberty of preparing tea.
(indicating tbe monitors)
I take it you've been watching the news?
BRUCE
Yeah...lot of crazy people in this world.
BRUCE
Oh, yeah. Watch this.
ALFRED
Most ingenious, sir. What exactly it?
BRUCE
What does it look like?
ALFRED
To the untrained eye, sir, it looks
remarkably like...the skeleton of an
umbrella.
BRUCE
Good guess, Alfred. That's exactly right.
BRUCE hits the trigger, and the rods WILT with a hiss. He
sits at his lab table; ALFRED unfolds a napkin on his lap,
pours a cup of tea.
ALFRED
Splendid, sir, and if I may say, I'm glad
you're putting your time to such
productive use.
(beat)
Now -- the Toy Fund. Our contribution
last year was a half-million dollars...
BRUCE
We can do better than that.
ALFRED
Then there's the foster-parents program...
the Gotham homeless crusade...
ALFRED (cont.)
Is something troubling you, sir?
BRUCE
Yeah...the holidays, I guess. Always gets
me thinking about...
(he changes the subject)
And to tell you the truth, I'm a little --
concerned about Vicki.
ALFRED
(anxiously)
Miss Vale, sir...?
BRUCE
Yeah. I've been thinking about it lately.
Thinking about it a lot...
(gravely; shaking his head)
...and I still can't figure out what to
get her for Christmas.
CUT TO:
CAMERA PULLS BACK from the bars of the cages to reveal a VERY
ODD FIGURE in prison greys. A CANARY, perched on his
shoulder, SINGS HAPPILY as he stands in front of a grimy,
cracked mirror, plastering back his hair, BUFFING HIS NAILS
with quick, birdlike strokes.
GUARD
Up and at 'em, Pengy. -- Pengy?
GUARD (cont.)
Boniface...
MR. BONIFACE finally turns. With an expression of extreme
distaste, he affixes a MONOCLE over one eye, returns the
canary to its cage and allows himself to be ushered out.
MR. BONIFACE and his ATTORNEY sit at a long table across from
the WARDEN and the members of the PAROLE BOARD.
PAROLE OFFICER
You want to return the money you stole.
BONIFACE
Intact. The map will show you where it's
buried.
PAROLE OFFICER
All of it. Forty-two million dollars.
PAROLE OFFICER II
Why this sudden change of heart?
MR. BONIFACE
Gentlemen, I want my debt to be repaid in
full. I want to be a part of civilized
society!
(oozing sincerity)
Prison life is not for me. The guilt, the
fear, the constant shame...one meets a
disturbingly low class of people.
PAROLE OFFICER II
Sure, but -- forty-two million dollars??
WARDEN
His record's clean. Thirteen years
without an incident.
ATTORNEY
I'd like to point out, my client's put his
time to good use. A student of
ornithology...articles published in
several respected journals...
PAROLE OFFICER
In light of this rather extraordinary
gesture, I see no reason not to endorse
your application for parole.
BONIFACE
Thank you, sir. You won't regret it.
MYNAH
CRIME DOES NOT PAY. AAWWK!! CRIME DOES
NOT PAY.
ATTORNEY
Personally trained by my client.
Free time -- the cell doors are open and the convicts are
milling around in the common area. T-BONE, 220 lbs. of dumb,
hulking beef, saunters up to his cell and finds his bunkmate,
MR. BONIFACE, staring at a stack of EMPTY CAGES. BONIFACE
whirls on him suddenly, his face beet-red, APOPLECTIC WITH
RAGE:
MR. BONIFACE
-- Where are my birds?!?
T-BONE
Shit, Pengy. I let 'em go.
MR. BONIFACE
Hermione. My canary. It's the dead of
winter!
T-BONE
They were all cooped up. With you leaving
and all -- seemed like the humane thing to
do.
MR. BONIFACE
I see. -- You might as well have this. I
won't be needing it...
T-BONE
Well, thanks, Pengy. No hard feelings.
(chuckling to himself)
Y'know, I'm gonna miss that pudgy little
ass of yours.
MR. BONIFACE
You won't miss it long.
FRICK
Welcome back, Mr. Boniface.
PENGUIN
Mr. Frick. Mr. Frack. Our years of
planning are about to pay off.
PENGUIN
I take it they found the money all right?
FRACK
We buried it exactly as you specified.
$42,271,009...
PENGUIN
How much have we got left?
FRICK reaches into his coat for a BALANCE SHEET.
FRICK
Let's see -- an initial capitalization of
42 million and change, compounded over
thirteen years, at an annual return of
just under sixteen percent --
PENGUIN
Fine, fine. How much?
FRICK
Seventy-nine million. -- Excluding the
sum we buried.
PENGUIN
Speaking of burials...
T-BONE
HEY -- !
DISSOLVE TO:
ALFRED opens the front door and finds a bundled-up VICKI out
on the portico, red-cheeked, flushed, and happy. She pulls
him forward, gives him a quick peck on the cheek.
VICKI
Guess what, Alfred. I think I found a
present for Bruce.
VICKI (cont.)
Skis. -- Don't let on, okay?
ALFRED
He won't hear a word of it from me.
VICKI
He's such a nightmare to shop for. --
What do you get him year after year,
Alfred?
ALFRED
(conspiratorially)
I find you can't go wrong with
surveillance equipment. Let me put this
under the tree...
VICKI
Not so fast.
She reaches into the pocket of her coat and pulls out another
small gift. ALFRED stares at the tag -- "TO ALFRED, LOVE
VICKI" -- and tries to suppress a HUGE GRIN.
ALFRED
Why, Miss Vale -- !
VICKI
Don't look. It's your present.
BRUCE
What'd you get me? Kareem Abdul-Jabbar?
VICKI
I'm going to give you the happiest
Christmas you've ever had.
CUT TO:
FIRES burn in garbage cans. TENTS and LEAN-TOS dot the snowy
landscape. Men, women, and children wander aimlessly,
huddling against the cold.
VICKI
Homeless.
(beat)
I was just down here Tuesday. Seems like
there's more every day.
BRUCE starts to say something, but can't think of anything to
say.
VICKI (cont.)
Christmas time. And they say there's over
a thousand people living in the park
already.
BRUCE
-- Yeah.
The light changes. BRUCE throws the car into gear and -- at
the next intersection -- turns the car right, into the park.
A VALET opens the car for BRUCE and VICKI, who look on in
concern as the PANHANDLER gets the bum's rush. The liveried
DOORMAN shrugs apolagetically -- sorry for the inconvenience
-- as they enter.
VICKI
They're already razing the tenements and
SRO's downtown. These people don't have
anyplace else to go.
(beat)
If the city starts selling off the park...
BRUCE
-- Yeah. I guess I'll pass on dessert.
VICKI
(taking his hand)
Bruce, you do a lot more than most people
even dream of.
BRUCE
Sure. Comes off the top of my taxes --
VICKI
That's not what I meant.
BRUCE
-- What I "do" doesn't come close to the
root of the problem, Vicki.
(long pause)
I'm just a Band-Aid.
BRUCE
Randall. You remember Vicki. -- How's
the construction business?
SHAW
The park tower? All systems go. If we
can get the junkies and winos cleared
out...
(a big grin)
Not too late to get in on the deal.
BRUCE
I'll think about it.
SHAW
Say, Walter Barrett's due back from
Europe. We should all get together at the
club.
(clapping him on the shoulder)
Nice to see you again, Miss Veal.
VICKI
What a pig.
BRUCE
I've known him since he was seven years
old. He was a pig then too.
VICKI
Now he wants to gobble up the park...
(shivering)
Bruce -- isn't there something you can do
about people like that?
BRUCE
What, tie him up with a bat-rope?
VICKI
No, you idiot. I meant you. Bruce.
RED BERET I
We were on patrol. Saw the whole thing.
JOGGER
I was attacked. Three men in ski masks --
COP I
(indicating the RED BERETS)
And these two broke it up?
JOGGER
These two?? They ran like rabbits. I
never saw anybody take off so --
RED BERET II
Hey! Somebody had to go for the cops.
COP II
You. SHUT UP, all right??
(to the JOGGER)
Lady, who was it that bailed you out??
JOGGER
A kid. Thirteen or fourteen tops. He
just came out of nowhere and -- tore into
'em.
(shaking her head)
It was so quick I didn't even see his
face.
An exasperated COP leads the RED BERETS away from the crime
site:
RED BERET I
Dumb shit. Shouldn'ta been jogging in the
park at night anyway.
(sullenly)
Look around you. It's fulla bums.
BRUCE
Nice outfit.
RED BERET I
Piss off, geek.
DISSOLVE TO:
ANCHORWOMAN
...and tomorrow, the city's power elite
will be turning out in force to greet
millionaire industrialist Walter Barrett,
who returns to Gotham after a five-year
stay in Europe...
Moments later, the owner of the high heels enters; she opens
her black fur coat and unwraps her muffler, revealing exotic,
vaguely Eurasian features. She's dark and elegant, fine-
boned, regal of bearing -- and her name, though we don't know
it yet, is SELINA KYLE.
She's not the kind of girl who typically frequents the Wharf
Rat, and so her entrance creates quite a stir. A LONGSHOREMAN
at the nearby pool table misses his shot and digs a rut in the
felt. Two blowsy WHORES size her up territorially as she
finds an open stool at the bar and settles in with serene
indifference.
The regulars, of course, are all but licking their chops. The
only guy in the joint who hasn't noticed her yet is RICKY,
who's still on the phone:
RICKY
Yo. Ricky here. What's the haps?
RICKY (cont.)
Midnight. No sweat. See you then.
SELINA
Well. "Ricky," is it?
RICKY
How'd you know that?
SELINA
I heard you on the phone. Talking to your
girlfriend.
RICKY
Girlfriend? No, no. That was business.
SELINA
If you've got time for a little pleasure
...maybe you'd like to buy me a drink.
She clasps his hand. His EYES BUG OUT. Three enormous rings,
a diamond bracelet -- there must be several thousand in rocks
on her left hand alone. RICKY gapes at the sparklers,
bedazzled.
RICKY
Jeez -- they look almost real.
SELINA
Why wouldn't they be?
RICKY is not the smoothest guy around, and his line of thought
is all too evident. He swallows hard and tries not to stare.
RICKY
You'd have to be crazy. Nobody'd wear the
real thing to a dive like this.
SELINA
Oh, they're real, all right. So are
these.
SELINA (cont.)
Weren't we going to have a drink?
CUT TO:
Just after midnight; the snow's still failing, the waters are
icy, and the wharfs are deserted -- almost. A small STEAMBOAT
is docked at Pier 31, and the deck is lined with THUGS --
mean, ugly, and heavily armed.
Throughout all this, the DOCK GOONS keep their guns trained on
the BOAT THUGS, covering their buddies. One of them turns to
a colleague:
DOCK GOON I
Where's that goddam Ricky?
DOCK GOON II
Probably out gettin' laid. And here we
are freezin' our balls off...
BOAT THUG I
You pick.
The CHIEF GOON selects a crate at random. Two BOAT THUGS tip
it on its side and, using a crowbar, pry off a FALSE BOTTOM --
revealing a dozen packets of WHITE POWDER.
LIEUTENANT
It's pure.
BOAT THUG I
Hold it. Let's see the money.
The goon with the suitcase marches up. Beyond him, in the
distance, a LITHE BLACK SHADOW vaults off the boathouse roof
and makes a silent, graceful landing on the long shaft of the
CRANE.
The netting GIVES WAY, and TWO DOZEN SHIPPING CRATES rain down
onto the pier, CRUSHING two DOCK GOONS underneath. The crates
explode into splinters, littering the dock with drugs and
random ART OBJECTS as the other DOCK GOONS scatter in panic.
Nobody knows quite what's going on. Panicking, the GOON with
the suitcase full of money turns tail and dives for the
gangplank. BOAT THUG I sees him and squeezes off a quick
shot. Winged, the GOON topples off the gangplank and hits the
drink, suitcase and all.
BOAT THUG I
YOU SON OF A BITCH!
(to another BOAT THUG)
Go after it. Get the money. GO!!
He raises his gun, and the second BOAT THUG dutifully obeys --
diving off the deck into a hail of gunfire. Everyone's
ducking for cover. BOAT THUG I barks orders at the
pilothouse:
BOAT THUG I
Soltar las amarras! -- CAST OFF!!
It's a woman.
The other BOAT THUG rushes her; she catches him under the jaw
with a sudden upthrust, LIFTS HIM INTO THE AIR, and sends him
toppling into the water.
The gangplank falls aside as the steamboat pulls away from the
pier. She hoists an abandoned ASSAULT RIFLE, SCATTERS the
DOCK GOONS with a round of automatic fire, and VAULTS off the
boat -- landing in a graceful crouch on the edge of the pier.
Most of the DOCK GOONS have taken flight, but a few unlucky
specimens remain behind. She somersaults forward; takes one
goon off his feet with a crack of the whip; knocks another off
the dock with a twirling high-kick to the jaw; sends two more
reeling with swift talon-slashes. The whole frenzied mop-up
action takes just under ten seconds. Alone at last, she
stands back to survey the scene.
Retracting her steel claws, the MASKED WOMAN crouches amid the
wreckage of the smashed shipping crates. BINDLES OF WHITE
POWDER -- millions of dollars' worth -- are scattered all
about the pier, but she couldn't seem less interested.
Instead, she's checking the MANIFEST NUMBERS stamped on the
sides of the crates.
PUNK
Murcielago. MURCIELAGO!!
CUT TO:
FRICK
Mr. Boniface? Your...visitor has arrived.
PENGUIN
Thank you, Mr. Frick. Show her in.
The PENGUIN moves to the edge of the sunken pool. Two of his
LACKEYS swivel a CROSSBAR, which hangs from the ceiling by a
long chain, into place over his head. He grasps it with both
hands -- and the crossbar RISES, hoisting his formidable bulk
out of the water.
PENGUIN
Ah, Miss Kyle! At last we meet.
SELINA
At last we meet. -- Pigeons?
PENGUIN
Yes, they're common birds -- dirty,
stupid, unattractive -- but they're very
obedient, and they do crap on people's
heads. May I?
PENGUIN (cont.)
I see your reputation was not exaggerated.
SELINA
I've located the others. All but one.
(shivering)
I'm surprised you don't catch
pneumonia -- !
PENGUIN
My normal body temperature is ninety-two
degrees. Germs find me inhospitable.
SELINA
I see why they call you the Penguin.
PENGUIN
They may call me that...but rarely more
than once. Champagne?
PENGUIN (cont.)
My dear. Here's to the second biggest
crime in the history of Gotham City.
CUT TO:
BULLOCK
It wasn't about the drugs. Whoever it was
left thirty kilos sitting on the docks.
JULIO (filter)
Un silueta negra -- con colmillos, y
garras -- el demonio. El murcielago.
MURCIELAGO!
GORDON
What's that he keeps saying?
BULLOCK
"Murcielago." -- Bat.
GORDON
Nonsense. That dock looked like a
slaughter-house. Batman's never committed
murder.
BULLOCK
We did find this in his back pocket.
POLICEMAN
Commissioner? We've got Barrett.
BARRETT
Fine welcome. These storm troopers of
yours dragged me away from my coming-home
party!
(beat)
I'd like to know the meaning of this --
GORDON
I'd like to know how thirty kilos of pure
cocaine wound up concealed in your
personal effects.
BARRETT
Gordon -- I come from one of the oldest
and most influential familles in Gotham.
If you plan to accuse me of smuggling
drugs, be my guest.
(long, menacing pause)
I'll have your badge before you leave this
room.
GORDON
Book the son of a bitch.
GORDON storms out. BARRETT jumps out of his chair, but the
COPS restrain him. Outraged, he bats their hands away...
BARRETT
I believe I'm still entitled to a phone
call.
CUT TO:
SHAW
Come on! Let's move it! We're an hour
behind as it is!!
A SURVEYOR grabs SHAW by the arm and points out the woman
taking photos in the crowd. SHAW recognizes her instantly.
His face turns into a mask of outrage -- as if he's been
personally betrayed.
SHAW
Jesus Christ, that's Bruce Wayne's bimbo!
HARDHAT
Phone call, Mr. Shaw. Guy said it's
urgent.
SHAW
(to tbe SURVEYOR)
Hold the ball. I wanna hear it crash.
BARRETT
It's me, Randall -- Walter Barrett. I
want you to call my attorney. That was my
shipment they busted up last night.
SHAW
Jesus, Walter, I --
(suddenly puzzled)
Why are you calling me??
BARRETT
It's worse than that. Somebody took my
raven.
SCHULTZ
Great stuff, but we're looking at a
shitfight with our beloved publisher. He
and Shaw...
(crossing his fingers)
Old money sticks together.
VICKI
I'd sure like to know what shook him up
so. He was out of there like a scared
rabbit...
WILK
Got a blind tip from downtown. You know
that massacre on the docks? Batman.
EDITOR
Whoa! Is this on the level?
WILK
Cops even got a note. "Those who feed on
the soul of Gotham will suffer my wrath!"
(grinning; to VICKI)
Sounds like your pal's cranked it up a
notch.
VICKI
Seen the late edition?
ALFRED
I'm afraid so, Miss Vale. Master Bruce is
sequestered in the cave.
On their way to the Batcave, ALFRED and VICKI pass through the
library. They pause in front of the television -- which is
tuned to a PANEL SHOW, with various experts discussing the hot
issue of the day.
ALFRED
(shaking his head)
Ah, the public. Dishearteningly fickle.
CITY OFFICIAL I
And I suppose anyone could've taken out a
boatload of armed thugs. A dozen men, Jim
-- murdered in cold blood --
GORDON
Before we forget, Batman's saved hundreds
of lives!
CITY OFFICIAL II
He's still a vigilante. We don't know who
he is, where he comes from, why he does
it...
CITY OFFICIAL I
Street punks are one thing, Jim. This is
Walter Barrett -- a personal friend of
mine!
CITY OFFCIAL II
You've gotta bring him in, Jim -- at least
for questioning. It would sure help if we
could get that mask off...
BRUCE
Ladies and gentlemen...I've been framed.
CUT TO:
COP
One-delta-niner -- 10-80 on Riverview
north-bound at 33rd -- 10-78, repeat
10-78.
As the PURSUING CARS emerge from the smoke cloud and follow
the Batmobile through, we TILT UP to the roof of a nearby
building --
BATMAN
Evasive.
CUT TO:
WOMAN
It's a fake.
SHAW
Hmm. It cost me a half a million dollars.
You're sure?
WOMAN
Absolutely. You see, I...happen to know
where the real one is stashed.
SHAW
I guess you'd know. I have some "friends"
in the art world. They say that -- for
certain hard-to-get items -- you're the
one to call.
WOMAN (O.S.)
How flattering.
SHAW
They say for the right price...you could
steal Michelangelo off the Sistine Chapel
Wall.
WOMAN (O.S.)
Mr. Shaw. Do you believe everything you
hear?
SHAW
Oh, I'm not one to judge. I admire people
who take what they want. I'm just curious
how you do it.
SHAW hands her the wine, and for the first time we see her
face. It's SELINA KYLE, perching seductively on the arm of
the sofa...
SELINA
I find that the old methods work best.
Sitting on the edge of the bed, she peels off her STOCKINGS,
twisting them around into tight cords. With a coy smile she
runs her finger in a circle around SHAW's hairy chest -- and
then, abruptly, knots one stocking tightly about his wrist and
ties it off on the bedpost.
SHAW
Hey, what are you doing -- ?
SELINA
You're very inquisitive. You'll just have
to be disciplined.
An EDGY SMILE spreads across his face as she binds his other
hand to the bedpost. None too quick, he's just caught on that
all this is part of SELINA's kinky scene. She crosses quickly
to the bathroom --
SHAW
You know, I've...I've never really done
this kind of thing before.
SELINA
I think people should indulge their
fantasies. Don't you?
Now that he's all trussed up, she crosses the room and reaches
into an oversized bag. She withdraws an odd-looking chromium
BRACE, slips it on over her wrist, and hits a trigger. SIX-
INCH STEEL TALONS snick into place. SHAW's dopey smile
fades...
SHAW
Hey, what are those -- what are you --
CUT TO:
Furious with herself, she reaches inside the safe and extracts
a BLACK RAVEN statuette -- identical to the one she took on
the docks. She slams the door shut and swings the picture
back into place.
SIRENS echo in the streets. SQUAD CARS make sudden turns and
streak off toward SHAW's building.
Ten seconds later the COPS burst in. They rush to the bedroom
-- spot the shattered window, the inert gory mass on the
bed --
-- but the real shock comes when they glance over at the wall.
Painted there, in blood...is a big, red, dripping BAT.
COP
JESUS!
POLICE pile out of cars and race for the entrance, totally
oblivious to the odd scene taking place overhead -- where the
small, barely-visible figure of a WOMAN, clad entirely in
black leather, is doing a TIGHTROPE WALK across the
intersection.
She hears an odd crunching noise two roofs over. Her whole
body tenses and -- though her head doesn't move -- her eyes
dart left.
...but a little smile flickers across her lips just the same.
She still doesn't let on that she's seen him. Instead, she
goes to the ledge of the roof and begins to STRUT, like a
gymnast on the balance beam -- POSING for him in a little
private show -- a strange, self-infatuated, AUTOEROTIC DANCE
ROUTINE for BATMAN's benefit.
She's rapidly working her way down the side of the building,
flipping down from one fire escape to tile next -- a master
gymnast. Three stories up, she lands on a railing, then STOPS
-- LAUNCHING HERSELF out over the street, making a perfect
landing on the roof of a passing BUS.
Down below, the cops are sweeping their beams across the
rooftops. Two of them catch a quick glimpse of BATMAN just as
he ducks back behind the cornice, out of view.
COP
Hey. You see what I saw...?
BULLOCK
It's Randall Shaw. Torn to ribbons. --
We just made Batman up on the roof.
GORDON
Oh God.
VICKI
Please, just one. It's important for
people to see what's happening.
HOMELESS MAN
They don't want to see us, lady. They
just want us gone -- out of sight, and out
of mind.
(mumbling as he wanders off)
Get worse before it gets better. It
always does.
Some of the HOMELESS PEOPLE run. Those who resist meet with
swift and sudden violence. A MARCHER jumps a hardhat, and
gets a baseball bat in the gut for his trouble.
VICKI waits for the police sirens, but they don't come. She
backs off toward the trees, she begins SNAPPING PHOTOS
FRANTICALLY, capturing the carnage on film.
...and suddenly the two of them are RUSHING TOWARD HER with
pure cold malice in their eyes. VICKI turns to run, but it's
slow going in the snow. She SLIPS and FALLS; her attackers
are almost upon her...
The second HARDHAT turns and lifts his TIRE IRON. But the
FIGURE, with surprising agility, is already rolling out of the
way. As he rolls, he grabs the first guy's HARDHAT off his
head and brings it up in front of him -- blocking the blow
from the second guy's tire iron.
She can't believe what she's seeing. The KID wades smack into
the midst of the remaining HARDHATS, and kicks ass --
spinning, pirouetting, kicking, clawing in a furious display
of pure athleticism. It seems like he's everywhere at once.
There's only one other guy in Gotham City who can handle
himself like this...
VICKI
WAIT! Don't be afraid. I wanted to thank
you. I --
KID
(cautiously)
Twenty.
VICKI
What?
KID
Twenty bucks.
VICKI's mildly taken aback, but she reaches for her purse just
the same. She's barely gotten her wallet open when the KID
snatches the bill out of her hands. They stare at each other
for a long moment --
VICKI
...Who are you?
KID
Dick.
Using the long lens, she tracks the KID's progress through the
treetops. She can't actually see him, but occasional chunks
of SNOW and ICE are falling to the ground as he jumps from
limb to limb...
For a moment it seems like she's lost him. As she sweeps the
lens back and forth, scanning the trees, she catches sight of
an EQUESTRIAN STATUE in the distance. She ups the
magnification so she can see the plaque on the pedestal. The
stone figure on the horse is Union war hero GEN. OLIVER WAYNE
-- BRUCE's great-grandfather.
As luck would have it, the KID drops to earth not ten feet
from the statue -- VICKI's got him in her sights again. He
looks around cautiously to make sure no one's following, then
races toward a STONE BRIDGE which arches between two small
hillocks, over a frozen creek.
There's a DRAINAGE TUNNEL, four or five feet in diameter,
mounted in the bridge abutment, the KID pries off a wire grate
and clambers inside, then pulls the grate back into place
behind him. Home sweet home.
CUT TO:
WOMAN'S VOICE
Now Hecate. You don't want that scrawny
little bird --
PENGUIN
Do you want me to wring that creature's
neck?
SELINA
You try it, I'll do the same to you.
(as he grumbles; bemused)
I saw him, you know.
PENGUIN
Saw who?
SELINA
Batman. He was dreamy.
PENGUIN
Dreamy?!? Are you insane!? My God --
(sputtering wildly)
Are you sure it was him? What did he do?
SELINA
He stood on a roof and watched me. He
didn't realize I'd seen him. I don't
think he knew quite what to make of me.
(smiling)
But he was definitely interested.
PENGUIN
This scheme of yours is backfiring. We
don't need him on our tails. Do you know
how much money is at stake here?
SELINA
Money isn't everything.
(casually)
What's the point if we can't enjoy
ourselves?
CUT TO:
The big SIGN over Gotham Square tells us there are only 9
shopping days left until Christmas. Down below, BRUCE is
walking VICKI to work.
VICKI
Six-on-one, and he took 'em all out...then
vanished into a drainage pipe -- right
next to the statue of General Wayne.
BRUCE
My illustrious great-grandfather. Think
it's the same kid we heard about?
VICKI
Must be. He reminded me of you.
NEW BAT-MURDER?
Batman Suspect in Slaying of Millionaire Developer
Commissioner Gordon Refuses Comment
BRUCE
-- You work for this rag?
(snatching up a paper)
Your boss is calling for Gordon's
resignation -- unless he brings Batman in
for questioning...
BRUCE
I need a good PR man.
NEWS VENDOR
Hey, pal -- you buyin' or borrowin'?
With a sullen look, BRUCE tosses the paper back on the rack.
VICKI pulls him off toward the entrance of the Globe.
VICKI
That's what happens when you go after the
rich and powerful.
BRUCE
Hey, it wasn't me, remember? I am rich
and powerful --
VICKI
Maybe it's almost...good. In a weird way.
I mean, Shaw, and Barrett -- if people
like that were really scared, maybe
they'd --
VICKI (cont.)
Hey, I'm late for work. You can read that
later.
BRUCE
Quiet. I'm looking for a personal ad.
BRUCE (cont.)
"Tall, Dark And Handsome -- You saw me on
the roof 12/16. I was in black; you were
too."
VICKI
Is this some kind of bad joke?
BRUCE
It's her. That cat woman, or whatever she
is.
(reading aloud)
"I jumped a bus into Gotham Park hoping
you'd follow, but you were too shy..."
VICKI
What does she want -- a date?
BRUCE
She's trying to contact me. Says she's
gonna leave me another ad...
VICKI arrives at her desk and sets her portfolio down. She
spots a message in the "in" file. She takes one look at it,
and her eyes go wide with RAGE. She storms out in a fury...
VICKI
WHY DID YOU KILL MY STORY?
PROVOST
Close the door.
(waiting for her to calm down)
Your story isn't news. With Shaw dead --
VICKI
But the project's still going ahead! If
attacking homeless people in the park
isn't news, I'd like to know what is --
PROVOST
There's a psycho out there in a mask and
cape -- killing off Gotham's most
prominent citizens! That's news.
(beat)
I've known Randall Shaw all my life. His
family is in mourning. And it just so
happens I don't believe in slandering the
dead.
VICKI
Mr. Provost -- how much money do you have
tied up in the Park Tower project?
PROVOST
Vicki...I'm going to forget you made that
remark. For the sake of your job, I
suggest you do the same.
CUT TO:
WALTER BARRETT and his ATTORNEY emerge onto the front steps of
the courthouse. BARRETT is instantly mobbed by REPORTERS.
REPORTER I
Mr. Barrett! Any comment on the
arraignment?
REPORTER II
Is it true bail was set at two million
dollars?
ATTORNEY
Stand back! My client has nothing to say
at this time!
PIGEONS fill the frame, swooping down toward the CAR, which is
idling at a traffic light far below.
BARRETT
It's time we called an emergency meeting
of the Raven Society. Get back to me...
BARRETT (cont.)
Damn pigeons.
DRIVER
Just washed it, too.
The DRIVER reaches for the wiper switch. They hear a tiny
DINK as a SOLID PELLET bounces off the windshield.
CUT TO:
ALFRED
The Fluegelheim called again, sir. They
want to know if you'll be attending the
opening of the new Egyptian exhibit.
BRUCE, still engrossed in his news broadcast, waves ALFRED
off.
BRUCE
Cancel.
SEKOWSKY
Jeez! Talk about gratitude -- !!
BRUCE
Well, Alfred, it's official. I'm a wanted
man.
(beat)
"New evidence"...I've gotta find that
woman. Did you check the personals?
ALFRED
Who's there?
GORDON
Jim Gordon, Alfred. I've got to see
Bruce.
ALFRED
Mr. Wayne will see you, sir.
GORDON
Sorry to bother you. Bruce -- I'll get
right down to it. You knew Shaw and
Barrett --
BRUCE
I saw them occasionally. We all sat on
the board of the Fluegelheim...
GORDON
Did you have any...dealings with them,
or --
BRUCE
No. I never liked the way they did
business.
GORDON
The thing is, Bruce, you're all lumped
together in the public mind -- the Five
Families of Gotham, that sort of thing --
and, uh...
(taking a card from his pocket)
Harrison Provost got this in the mail.
BRUCE
Then Batman is behind all this.
GORDON
Batman or a damned good imitation.
BRUCE
Well. He's changed tactics, hasn't he.
GORDON
(shrugging; at a loss)
Shaw, with his high-rises -- Barrett, a
druglord, major polluter -- they weren't
exactly model citizens. Who knows, it
could be some crazy social-conscience kind
of thing.
BRUCE
You mean he's going after...the root of
the problem.
GORDON shakes his head and gets up to go. BRUCE hands him the
card.
GORDON
Let me know if you get one of these.
We'll put all our resources at your
disposal.
BRUCE
Changed my mind, Alfred. I'll be dropping
in on the Fluegelheim after all.
CUT TO:
VICKI
What is it?
BRUCE
I just had a weird sense of deja vu.
TIPTREE
Harrison -- we really ought to warn Bruce.
We owe him that much.
PROVOST (cont.)
The man's a space cadet. Let him look out
for himself.
(as BRUCE arrives; cheerfully)
Why, Bruce! What a delightful surprise.
BRUCE
Good to see you two. Looks like the Five
Families are suddenly down to three.
(looking around)
In fact, if somebody dropped a bomb on
this room right now --
PROVOST
Is that your idea of a joke, Bruce?
BRUCE
Not at all. Commissioner Gordon seems to
think we should all be hiring bodyguards.
TIPTREE PROVOST
Oh, that's absurd. I already have.
BRUCE
Thing is, I can't imagine why Batman would
be after us. Can you?
SELINA
You two look like you need a drink. --
And is this who I think it is?
PROVOST
Selina Kyle -- Bruce Wayne.
SELINA
Our absentee board member! I've been
wanting to meet you forever.
TIPTREE
Selina's the new Curator of Antiquities.
She brought the Temple over block by
block --
SELINA
You two won't be terribly upset if I
borrow Bruce for a moment, will you?
SELINA (cont.)
Major contributor. -- I always seem to
wind up in charge of fund-raising...
BRUCE
I can't imagine why.
SELINA
Tax year's almost over, you know. I hope
we can count on your usual generous
donation.
(indicating PROVOST and TIPTREE)
Someone's got to set an example for those
two tightwads.
BRUCE
They're proccupied. This string of
murders --
SELINA
I asked them if they'd consider including
us in their wills.
(chuckling to herself)
They didn't seem a bit amused...
SELINA
-- and this is my good friend Bastet, the
Egyptian Cat Goddess.
BRUCE
I think we've already met. -- This is
quite an expedition you've put together.
SELINA
I'm glad you think so. I have to say,
Bruce -- you're not at all what I
expected.
BRUCE
Sorry to disappoint you.
SELINA
Oh, it's not that. Not at all. It's just
that I'd always heard you were...
BRUCE
What?
SELINA
(coyly)
Oh...sort of a...
BRUCE
(smiling; fascinated)
No. Come on. What?
BRUCE
Oh. Selina Kyle -- my friend Vicki Vale.
SELINA
The photographer. I've seen your pictures
in the Gazette.
VICKI
The Globe.
SELINA
Oh, that's right. The tabloid one. --
What an original dress!
BRUCE
Selina supervised the reconstruction of
the temple. Brought it back from Egypt...
stone by stone.
VICKI
Really. She must be awfully tired.
(to SELINA)
How'd you get to be in charge of a huge
project like this?
SELINA
It was easy. I slept with the Pharoah.
She laughs at her own joke. VICKI responds with a dry little
chuckle of her own. SELINA gives BRUCE a SHARP YANK on the
sleeve.
SELINA (cont.)
Excuse us, won't you, sweetheart? We have
some boring museum business to talk about.
SELINA (cont.)
I. Short leash.
BRUCE
Pull in the claws, okay? She's really
terrific.
SELINA
I'm sorry, Bruce. Sometimes I get a
little...aggressive, you know?
(handing him a card)
Look, I need to talk to you. Come by
sometime. I'll give you the private tour.
BRUCE
Wait. Let me explain about Vicki --
SELINA
(shushing him)
I understand. Anyone who's that
protective must have a pretty good reason
for it.
VICKI
How's "business"?
BRUCE
Relax, okay? I like you better.
VICKI
If you're looking for your fellow
millionaires, they left some time back.
CUT TO:
PROVOST
Don't worry about that. I've had the
office swept for bugs. No one's
listening...
TIPTREE
It's just so -- unfair. I mean...it was
over a century ago. It's not like we're
responsible.
(hollow-eyed)
How could he know? How could Batman know
about the Raven Society??
PROVOST
Who knows and who cares. The point is,
it's happened...
PROVOST (cont.)
I'm clearing out of the country, and I'm
taking the raven with me. I suggest you
do the same.
PROVOST (O.S.)
I'll tell you how to reach me. And don't
repeat this to anyone.
CUT TO:
INT. PENGUIN'S LAIR - DAY
The PENGUIN stands over his indoor penguin pool. He's wearing
rubber gloves, feeding LIVE FISH from an ice chest to his
arctic birds. The vents in the windows are open, and the
climate in the room is downright icy as SELINA's wrapped in
fur, stroking her pet cat:
SELINA
He's just another rich idiot.
(chuckling to herself)
The odd thing is, he didn't seem a bit
concerned.
PENGUIN
Then he is an idiot.
SELINA
He lives in some big sprawling manor.
I'll have to get inside, scope it out...
see where he's got the raven stashed.
PENGUIN
How do you plan to do that?
SELINA
How do you think!
FRICK
It's Mr. Provost, sir. He's planning to
embark on an unscheduled Christmas
vacation.
PENGUIN
Good! That should save us a trip to the
bank.
CUT TO:
BRUCE
What have we got here?
SELINA
Mummified cats. Bastet's sacred animal.
They were buried by the thousands at
Bubastis. -- Oh, careful!
BRUCE FREEZES with his hand poised over a set of four earthen
JARS. Each has a lid carved in the shape of a HEAD: ape,
jackal, man, falcon.
SELINA (cont.)
Canopic jars. In the process of
mummification, the internal organs were
buried separately.
(pointing to each jar in turn)
Lungs -- stomach -- liver -- intestine --
BRUCE
You're in a gruesome line of work.
SELINA
Keeps me interested. And that's not easy
to do...
BRUCE
This one I know. It's a gryphon, right?
SELINA
Very good. A mythical demon, half-bird,
half-lion...sweeping down from the sky to
deliver retribution and justice.
BRUCE nods. He can dig it. He regards the gryphon for a long
moment and CHUCKLES.
BRUCE
Poor guy. Birds and cats -- you wouldn't
think the two halves would cooperate.
SELINA
Only under certain circumstances.
(beat)
I'm really glad you came, Bruce. I was
afraid I'd given you the wrong impression.
Or maybe it was the right impression.
BRUCE
What was it you wanted to talk to me
about?
SELINA
Your collection. I'd love to see it. I
mean, everyone says you've got a
fabulous --
She breaks off in midstream and chuckles to herself. She toys
demurely with her equipment. She looks up at BRUCE and
switches tactics -- going for the direct approach. BRUCE
braces himself...
SELINA (cont.)
Mainly I just wanted an excuse to see you
again. Does she know you're here --
Vicki?
BRUCE
(shrugging)
No.
SELINA
It must be strange. Having all that
power, and money -- never really knowing
if that's what people are attracted to.
BRUCE
What are you attracted to?
SELINA
I think you're a little bit nuts.
(beat)
I think you're a little -- bored with your
life. Having everything you want. No
variety, no...danger. And every once in a
while you need to take a risk. Shake it
all up.
BRUCE
How?
SELINA
Maybe by...coming here today.
SELINA (cont.)
That's one thing I can give you, Bruce --
danger -- a little something you can't get
at home.
SELINA
Are you okay?
BRUCE
Is there a cat in here?
Right on cue, SELINA's black cat HECATE lets out a loud MEOW
-- and STRETCHES against BRUCE's pants leg. He brushes the
animal aside and it LEAPS into SELINA's arms. BRUCE sniffles
uncontrollably.
BRUCE (cont.)
Get it away!
She drops the cat, which scampers off. BRUCE rubs his eyes.
SELINA
Poor thing. You're allergic!
BRUCE
Yeah, cats...ever since I was a kid...
(snorting and weeping)
Look, I'd better get some fresh air.
Maybe another time, okay...
He heads for the door before SELINA can stop him. He's gone,
but she knows she's left a dent in his armor. She smiles in
bemusement as HECATE jumps into her arms and PURRS.
DISSOLVE TO:
SNOW falls on a huge CROWD gathered around the big tree. The
tree won't be lit for another twenty minutes or so, and so the
ONLOOKERS are singing CHRISTMAS CAROLS from printed lyric
sheets.
The GUARDS scan the street and enter the building without
incident. As they do, a NEWSPAPER DELIVERY VAN crosses the
frame; mounted on its side is an ADVERTISING PLACARD which
reads:
PROVOST
Open this in an hour. Phone my wife and
tell her where to meet me.
(to the GUARDS; edgily)
No trouble on the way, I take it?
LEAD GUARD
No sir, Mr. Provost. We came straight
from the bank vault.
GUARD II
'Copter should be just touching down.
We'll have you safely out of here in no
time.
PROVOST and the LEAD GUARD with the raven box are at an
elevator bank. The other GUARDS head for a stairwell.
GUARD II
We'll check the stairs. See you on the
roof.
PROVOST
No -- my private elevator. It's safer.
GUARD
No way. They don't pay us enough to
tangle with Batm--
PROVOST
What is it?? What's happening??
GUARD
There. Mr. Provost. See? The
generator's kicked in. It's just an
electrical problem.
PROVOST starts babbling again. The GUARD slaps him across the
face. But the TWITTERING has him a bit concerned as well. He
stares up at the ceiling of the car as he PUNCHES BUTTONS on
the panel; with another LURCH, the car begins to move.
GUARD
There. See? It's moving. We're fine.
PROVOST
It's going down. We're going DOWN!!!
The BIRDS in the shaft have all ROOSTED on the TOP OF THE CAR.
They're patiently riding it down as it descends...
GUARD
Okay, Mr. Provost -- I'm gonna have a look
through the trap door. But I need you to
help me. Okay? You have to help.
GUARD
Probably just some bird that's gotten in
the shaft. Now calm down. You'll have to
give me a boost.
The GUARD climbs back atop the raven box. PROVOST gives him a
boost and he manages to catch hold of the lip of the trap
door.
GUARD (cont.)
Okay, help me out...steady...
PROVOST wraps both arms around the GUARD's wriggling LEGS and
tries to hoist him upward.
PROVOST
W-who is this??
PENGUIN
Mr. Provost? If you want to get out of
that car alive, I suggest you follow my
instructions to the letter.
PENGUIN (cont.)
SHUT UP IN THERE.
(calmly; into phone)
You should see a cord hanging just behind
you.
PROVOST
Yes -- yes, I see it --
PROVOST lets the phone drop. He grits his teeth, but hastens
to obey. As he's knotting the cord around the handle of the
box, a DINKY BIRD flutters down through the trap and sends him
into a panic. Practically weeping, he reaches for the phone.
PROVOST
Who are you?? Why are you doing this??
Behind him, FRICK and FRACK are pulling on RED BERETS and
BATMAN SWEATSHIRTS -- Order of the Bat gear. FRICK climbs
into a NEWSPAPER DELIVERY VAN and starts the engine.
PENGUIN
Well, Mr. Provost, I guess you could call
me an irate reader. And to be perfectly
frank -- I'm doing this because I hate
Garfield.
PENGUIN
Going down!
The RAVEN BOX dangles from its cord in FG as the CAR rockets
uncontrollably downward. A steady stream ot BIRDS are making
a quick exit from the trap door in the roof...
She rips off the lock and opens the box for a quick look at
her trophy. It's there, all right -- another RAVEN just like
the first two. An awful CRASH, from twenty-five stories down,
RATTLES THE SHAFT...
She makes a disgusted face, grabs the RAVEN, and bolts for the
roof.
CROWD
Ten! Nine!...
CROWD
...Three! Two! One!
The CHRISTMAS LIGHTS come on, and the CROWD breaks into
CHEERS. The ORCHESTRA strikes up a sprightly version of
"JINGLE BELLS."
NEWS VENDOR
Hey! No! I aleady got a --
The NEWS VENDOR chases after the VAN, but it's already rounded
a corner and is cruising along the periphery of Gotham Square.
The CROWD is still singing merrily, unaware of its presence --
CATWOMAN (O.S.)
Some people just can't take discipline.
(beat)
Go ahead. Finish 'em off...
CATWOMAN (O.S.)
You might as well. You're going to get
blamed for it anyway.
CATWOMAN (O.S.)
Oh, come on, angel. You know you want to.
(purring loudly)
Besides -- I want to see how you do it!
BATMAN
Who are you?
He's barely gotten it out when she SLAMS INTO HIM from behind,
feet first, knocking him to the rooftop. He tries to get up,
but she comes at him with a couple of CARTWHEELING KICKS,
knocking him back into a cornice. He ducks right just as a
SHARP SPIKED HEEL strikes the exposed brick a mere three
inches from his throat.
He catches her leg, upends her -- but she somersaults away and
lands on her feet. Cats always do...
CATWOMAN
My, aren't we frisky tonight.
CATWOMAN
I should tell you -- I've got nine lives
to play with -- and you've only got one...
This time the spiked heel connects -- LIFTING BATMAN off his
feet, KNOCKING HIM BACKWARD into the TAIL of the HELICOPTER.
He slumps there, stunned -- and before he knows it, she's on
him.
She grabs his THROAT with one hand and clamps the other around
his CROTCH. He tries to break her grip, but she's just as
strong as he is. And she's LIFTING him -- forcing him upward,
toward the REAR STABILIZING ROTOR on the tail of the
helicopter!
The rear ROTOR BLADES WHINE LIKE A BUZZSAW as his head rises
perilously closer. At the last possible instant, he grabs a
handful of her HAIR -- YANKS IT as hard as he can --
With a YOWL, she releases him. They tumble to the roof and
she DIVES ATOP HIM. Her TALONS click into place -- he sees
them poised directly above his EYES --
-- but manages to slam an ELBOW under her chin before she can
strike. Now they're disentangled; they get up groggily and
circle each other...
SOMEONE IS BANGING on the metal door that leads up to the
roof, trying to break it down. BATMAN turns for an instant --
a sudden CRACK --
CATWOMAN
Did I tell you I invited company? -- Keep
'em busy, angel, I've gotta scat.
She kneels down and plants a BIG WET KISS on his twitching
face. Then she scurries to the edge of the roof,
DISAPPEARING --
-- just as the DOOR gives way -- and an ARMED SWAT TEAM comes
crashing out onto the roof!
CUT TO:
The COPS can't see where they're driving. The car SWERVES
WILDLY. And still the PIGEONS KEEP COMING -- COVERING THE
WINDSHIELD -- TOTALLY OBSCURING THE STREETS FROM VIEW...
PENGUIN
Look at that, boys -- they do flock
together!!
CUT TO:
CATWOMAN
Ooh. Where have you been all my life?
CATWOMAN (O.S.)
Nevermore. Nevermore!
CATWOMAN
Cute, huh! I think it'll look nice over
the fireplace. Maybe you can drop by and
see it sometime.
(demurely)
I hope you won't think I'm too...
aggressive or anything, but I find you
very attractive.
CATWOMAN (cont.)
It's just so hard to meet interesting men
these days. Don't you think so?
(sighing)
I have trouble with relationships. Men
find me intimidating...kind of predatory,
you know? Really I'm not. Really I'm
just playful...
CATWOMAN (cont.)
Don't laugh! I'm trying to open up to
you!
ANGLE ON BATMAN
CATWOMAN (cont.)
I always seem to fall for the wrong guys.
You know...most men are rats.
ANGLE ON CATWOMAN
CATWOMAN
Mice, really. It's disgusting -- they beg
you to walk all over them and then they
whine when you do it. Once you've had
your fun there's not much you can do but
kill them.
(beat)
But you seem different. I mean, you
obviously understand about dressing up...
that saves a lot of explaining. I think
people should indulge their fantasies,
don't you?
CATWOMAN
So I think I'll let you live. Cute boys
like you are hard to find...
(standing up)
'Bye, angel. I'll be thinking about you.
And just like that, she VANISHES -- moving silently off with
her raven, leaving BATMAN to dangle. He hangs there a moment,
tries to twist himself around without moving his foot. He
braces one hand against the wall; with the other, he lifts his
grappling gun and FIRES.
The HOOK SNAGS somewhere on the roof. BATMAN yanks the line
taut and is laboriously trying to pull himself erect when --
CATWOMAN
Gee...I'm so fickle.
Six stories up, his BATWINGS spring erect, slowing his plunge.
Five stories up, an UPDRAFT hits him and he suddenly INVERTS.
Four stories up, he rights himself. Three stories up, he goes
into a downward spiral, out of control, gliding in great wide
arcs over the street...
DRIVER
What the hell is this?
CARS are backed up, due to the panic in Gotham Square a few
blocks over. HORNS are honking. A TRAFFIC COP marches
over --
TRAFFIC COP
Awright, what's the problem here?
(spotting BATMAN)
Jesus.
PATROLMAN
Good God. Cowan -- get to the car --
radio the commissioner!!
TRAFFIC COP
Is he dead? What do we do?
PATROLMAN
The mask. Get the mask off.
They hunker down over BATMAN. One of them tugs at his mask --
but the helmet-like cowl doesn't want to give way. He feels
around --
TRAFFIC COP
Some kinda seam here on the neck...
TRAFFIC COP
DON'T SHOOT, you idiot. The crowd --
Before he can finish, a BLACK BOOT kicks the gun out of the
ONLOOKING COP's hand. BATMAN is back among the living.
SIRENS BLARE as he spins and rolls into a crouch -- lashing
out with elbows and knees -- driving the cops back --
Fuck the crowd. TWO MORE COPS pull their guns and open fire
in absolute panic. BATMAN slams backward into the delivery
truck and crumples to the ground. As he falls, he grabs a
couple of SMOKE CAPSULES from his belt and flings them to the
pavement.
BULLOCK
Hell of a mess up here, Commissioner.
We'll have to go in on foot...
Two RED BERETS, members of the Order of the Bat, are on night
patrol, strolling down a rambling path near the entrance to
the park.
RED BERET I
This is wack, man. Nothing ever happens
around here anymore.
The other RED BERET lets out a WHOOP OF FEAR and yanks his
partner out of the way. They tumble into a snowdrift as
BATMAN'S HORSE vaults over the stone wall of the park and
gallops past, nearly trampling them in the process. By now,
SQUAD CARS are roaring into the park...
SIRENS BLARE and RED LIGHTS FLASH in the distance as the COP
CARS spread out along the winding roads that run through the
park. BATMAN reins the horse in suddenly as a black-and-white
whips past on an access road just ahead of him, no more than
twenty yards away.
DICK
It's MINE!
Out here in the moonlight he can see his opponent. The body
armor -- the gold-and-black emblem on the breastplate -- and
above it all, the face of BRUCE WAYNE, exposed to view...
BRUCE turns, uncertainly. DICK throws him his woolen SKI CAP.
TWO COPS scanning the park. The CAPED HORSE charges past in
front of them and is momentarily silhouetted in the
headlights. From a distance, it looks like BATMAN is still in
the saddle.
A MAN has just stepped out onto the road, directly in the
squad car's path -- a hunched figure in an old coat and woolen
ski cap, obviously one of the homeless. A COP leans on the
horn and shouts out the window:
COP
Dumb son of a bitch!!
The MAN -- BRUCE -- steps back out of the squad car's path.
The COPS take off -- in hot pursuit of a riderless horse.
CUT TO:
ALFRED
Commissioner Gordon called. He wants to
install a full contingent of police guards
here at the manor -- in round-the-clock
shifts -- to protect you from Batman.
BRUCE
Great. What'd you tell him?
ALFRED
I told him that since you were Batman,
you'd require no protection from Batman.
BRUCE makes a face: how droll. ALFRED tears off the tape with
a brisk YANK -- and BRUCE lets out an involuntary YELP OF
PAIN.
BRUCE
Jesus, Alfred -- !!
ALFRED
In future, sir...I strongly advise against
trying to fly off twenty-story buildings.
BRUCE
It's just a few bruises.
ALFRED
One bruise, sir. Which covers your entire
body.
BRUCE
I'm getting too old for this line of work.
(beat)
Cops placed me at the scene of the crime
-- that weird kid of Vicki's saw my
face --
ALFRED
I shouldn't worry overmuch. I doubt the
two of you move in the same circles.
BRUCE
-- and I got the living shit knocked out
of me by a woman.
ALFRED
Sir -- such outmoded sexist attitudes are
quite unbecoming.
PLAINCLOTHESMAN
Mailman's coming.
GORDON
Anything suspicious!
In the parlor, where all the shades are drawn, TWO COPS are
examining each letter in turn, holding them up to a light
bulb, CREASING THEM carefully before slitting them open.
COP
Nothing yet. Christmas cards and bills.
BOMB-DISPOSAL EXPERT
It's a fruitcake.
GORDON
...Have it analyzed.
POLICEMAN
Mrs. Tiptree? The car's here.
LITTLE GIRL
I don't wanna go to Grandma's. I wanna
stay here with Daddy.
MRS. TIPTREE
She's got a nice tree just like ours,
honey. Daddy'll be up as soon as he can.
LITTLE GIRL
She's old. She doesn't even have cable.
LITTLE BOY
What about our presents?
He gestures toward the GIFTS piled high around the tree in the
parlor.
TIPTREE
Don't worry. I'll bring 'em up with me.
We'll open 'em when I get there.
GORDON
Sorry, folks, but we'd better move along.
MRS. TIPTREE
Kids? Tell your Daddy goodbye...
Tearful hugs all around; then a cadre of UNIFORMED COPS escort
MRS. TIPTREE and the KIDS to the door. TIPTREE pulls GORDON
aside.
TIPTREE
They'll be safe, won't they?
GORDON
As safe as we can make 'em.
(beat; sternly)
It would help if you could give us some
small hint what this is all about.
TIPTREE
I told you. I...
GORDON
You have no idea what was in that box that
Provost had delivered from the bank.
GORDON (cont.)
All right, Mr. Tiptree. Merry Christmas.
TIPTREE
Hello...?
VOICE ON LOUDSPEAKER
Mr. Tiptree? Andy here. Listen -- we've
got a chance to grab a good-sized block of
Atlantic Teledyne at twenty-six and an
eighth --
The COPS heave sighs and turn off their tracing equipment.
TIPTREE
Not today, Andy. Let's talk after New
Year's.
He opens the note and begins to read as the PIGEON takes wing.
CUT TO:
BRUCE ambles out and sees SELINA, who's just arrived, doing
her patetented thing on ALFRED.
SELINA
English accents are so stimulating.
(beat)
You have the most beautiful silver hair!
SELINA (cont.)
Bruce!
BRUCE
Selina. What are you doing here?
SELINA
I wanted to see your things, remember?
And I got tired of waiting for you to call
me back.
(gesturing toward ALFRED)
He's adorable. How long have you had him?
BRUCE
You heard about Harry Provost.
SELINA
It's incredibly awful. It got me a little
worried.
(sidling up closer)
I hate to think of something happening to
you.
BRUCE
Same here.
SELINA
It's odd, though. Danger, the thought of
suddenly dying -- in a weird way it gets
you sort of...aroused. Don't you think?
SELINA
Bruce, this is incredible.
(indicating a suit of armor)
Malaysian -- ?
BRUCE
Not bad. Sarawak warrior caste.
SELINA
It's like -- everything in here is another
little piece of your mind. I was right
about you.
(turning to face him)
Promise, okay? Promise you'll show me
every inch of this place.
PAGE 87 MISSING FROM HARD COPY
ALFRED
The police have no files whatsoever on
Selina Kyle.
BRUCE
(abstractedly)
London...Cairo...Belgium...
ALFRED
What exactly are you --
BRUCE
Her credit card records.
(looking up)
Every major art theft in the last five
years -- she's been on the scene or close
to it.
ALFRED
You mean she's some sort of -- collector?
A...cat burglar, or --
BRUCE
Could be. Museum curator, authenticator
-- she's got the perfect cover for it.
(beat)
What would she want with that stupid
raven?
ALFRED
Raven, sir?
BRUCE
That's what the Catwoman took from
Provost. A little raven statuette, about
so big...
(shaking his head)
But it couldn't have been that valuable.
ALFRED
How very odd.
(long pause)
I'm sure it's nothing, but --
BRUCE
What, Alfred?
ALFRED
Your father had a raven, sir. A small
statue of the very sort you describe. It
used to sit on his desk.
BRUCE
What happened to it?
ALFRED
After your father's...demise, Mr. Tiptree
came to the house and asked if he could
have it. As a keepsake. I saw no harm...
(shrugging)
That was thirty years ago.
BRUCE
Wait a minute. Mr. Tiptree?
ALFRED
George Tiptree. Your friend Elliott's
father.
CUT TO:
BRUCE
What are you looking for -- Batarangs?
TIPTREE
Bruce! Come on up.
(to the COPS)
I want to talk to Mr. Wayne alone.
TIPTREE lets BRUCE inside and shuts the door behind him.
BRUCE hands him a GIFT BOX.
BRUCE
I brought you a Christmas present. Sorry
about the wrapping -- the police made me
open it.
TIPTREE
...I'm afraid I don't have anything for
you.
BRUCE
I think you may have something that
belonged to my father.
TIPTREE
-- You know?
TIPTREE (cont.)
It'll all be over tomorrow. One way or
another, it'll all be over.
(looking up; despondent)
I've decided, Bruce. I'm gonna give him
the last two ravens. He's already got the
others.
BRUCE
What are you talking about? Who?
TIPTREE
Batman. I don't know how he found out,
but --
BRUCE
It's time you told me what's going on
here.
TIPTREE
Didn't you ever wonder where it came from,
Bruce? All the privilege, all the power
...all the money?
(beat)
The ravens are a...a kind of map, Bruce.
The key to an incredibly vast fortune.
BRUCE
Whose fortune?
TIPTREE
Gotham City's.
TIPTREE
In 1880 the Gotham City Treasury was
looted. It was a fantastic operation --
perfect military precision. The robbers
made off with milllons in gold and silver
bullion...
TIPTREE (V.O.)
The city was going under. Bankrupt...
until five rich men stepped in to bail it
out. In exchange they took the land
rights, the mineral rights, the service
contracts --
BRUCE
The Five Families.
TIPTREE
Our ancestors. They bought Gotham City --
carved it up and ran it into the ground.
In five years they were rich beyond
imagining.
(pause)
We've just been following in their
footsteps. And in all this time no one's
ever suspected --
BRUCE
-- that they were the ones behind the
robbery?
TIPTREE (O.S.)
They had five ravens made. Five ravens
which -- combined -- would reveal the
location of the treasure they'd stolen.
(beat)
But they never touched it. They never
needed to. It's still there to this day.
TIPTREE
The ravens, and the secret -- have been
passed down through generations. Father
to son...
(shaking his head)
Your father -- died before he could tell
you.
BRUCE
So they stole his piece of the puzzle.
TIPTREE
Yeah. I've got it, Bruce, and I'm going
to hand it over. He's right, you know.
We've all been feeding -- feeding on the
soul of Gotham...
BRUCE (cont.)
I don't believe you, Elliott. My father
was a decent man -- an honorable man. He
would never have taken part in a scheme
like this.
TIPTREE
It wasn't his doing, Bruce. It was --
BRUCE
That doesn't matter. If he knew that his
fortune was based on a crime -- a crime
against the city...
(violently)
Reputation or not, he would've tried to --
TIPTREE
Christ, Bruce! Do you want me to spell it
out for you?!?
TIPTREE (cont.)
He was a decent man. He was an honorable
man. That's why they had him killed.
SERIES OF SHOTS
TIPTREE
They killed him...to protect their secret
...and now the bill's come due. Now the
bill's come due.
CUT TO:
ALFRED
Thank you, yes, everything's fine. I'll
expect your next call in an hour.
(hanging up; to VICKI)
The police are becoming an awful nuisance.
VICKI
I feel so awful for him, Alfred. There
must be something we can do.
ALFRED
I realized long ago -- that there are
places in Mr. Wayne's heart which no one
will ever penetrate -- or share.
(pause)
He loves you, Miss Vale. But in certain
ways he will always be alone.
BRUCE (O.S.)
...Thanks for the testimonial.
BRUCE
Tiptree's planning some kind of rendezvous
with 'Batman.' I think Batman ought to be
there when it happens.
ALFRED
I see, sir. When shall we expect you
back?
BRUCE
Get your cap. You're driving.
STAKEOUT COP I
Shit -- that's Tiptree!!
TIPTREE is halfway down the block when two COPS burst out of
the brownstone.
COP
Mr. Tiptree! What the hell are you --
COP
We've gotta get back to the radio.
-- but the DEAFMUTE shoves the card insistently into his face.
Now TIPTREE looks up. THIS CARD bears a personalized message:
BRUCE
According to this, he's directly below us.
ALFRED
The subway, sir?
BRUCE
Yeah. Take a right.
False alarm. The train stops, and the doors hiss open again.
WIPE TO:
MYNAH
FOLLOW ME. AWWWKK! FOLLOW ME.
The bird flutters its wings and takes off again -- INTO THE
TUNNEL. TIPTREE stares after it in disbelief. Then the bird
CAWS AGAIN -- its shrill voice echoing from the darkness of
the tunnel:
MYNAH (O.S.)
FOLLOW ME. AWWWKK!
TIPTREE clambers over the edge of the platform, dropping
awkwardly to the tracks below. Suitcase in hand, he begins to
walk...
BRUCE
He's slowed down. Looks like he's under
the park.
ALFRED
How do you propose to get down there, sir?
We can't have Batman strolling up to buy a
token.
BRUCE
I know another way in.
(beat)
Step on it. They're down there waiting
for him.
ALFRED turns the limo hard right -- into GOTHAM PARK -- past
the statue of GENERAL WAYNE atop his horse...
His face is familiar. It's DICK -- the boy vigilante from the
park.
INT. TUNNEL - FARTHER DOWN TRACKS - A MOMENT LATER
MYNAH
AWWRRK! FOLLOW ME.
VOICE
STOP THERE.
The MYNAH BIRD flutters through the beam of light and perches
on the shoulder of an UNSEEN FIGURE. TIPTREE COWERS and
SQUINTS, trying to make him out, but the figure who stands
before him is shielding his face with an open UMBRELLA.
TIPTREE
I've cooperated. I've done everything you
said.
PENGUIN
Open the case.
PENGUIN (cont.)
...Two ravens?
TIPTREE
The other one is Bruce Wayne's.
(trembling)
He doesn't know anything about this.
You've got what you want. There's no need
to --
PENGUIN
Thank you, Mr. Tiptree. You may go.
TIPTREE
My family. You won't --
PENGUIN
We'll certainly take your unexpected
generosity into consideration.
TIPTREE
We -- ?!?
(shielding his eyes)
You're not Batman.
PENGUIN
No. I'm his brother-in-law -- Birdman.
Now move out.
CATWOMAN
That idiot. Another six feet --
PENGUIN
So sorry to spoil your fun. -- He brought
two ravens. We've got a complete set!
CATWOMAN
What??
PENGUIN
Yeah! They're in the suitcase --
They pull the corpse onto the outer express track just as the
train arrives. They stand against the outer wall, waiting for
the train to pass...
...where BATMAN and the CATWOMAN are trading punches, blow for
blow. He knocks her off her feet with a vicious right hook,
and she sprawls on the track, dazed and bleeding. She lifts a
hand: no mas...
CATWOMAN
God. Did you see him? Isn't he hot?
PENGUIN
Haven't you got anything else to think
about?
(mopping sweat from his brow)
I'm hot. That was exhausting.
CATWOMAN
No pain, no gain! -- Suck it up. We're
not out of here yet.
DISSOLVE TO:
PENGUIN
LETS DO IT!
The CATWOMAN and co. go to work quickly. She removes the FIVE
RAVENS from a gunny sack as FRICK and FRACK work their way
around the balcony, YANKING the busts from their recessed
bases. She follows along behind them, replacing each bust
with a RAVEN.
CATWOMAN
What happens now?
PENGUIN
I don't know. That's all...!
PENGUIN (cont.)
We've been TRICKED! It's a HOAX! It's
a --
The CATWOMAN, FRICK and FRACK stare down at the little metal
box. The PENGUIN is already clambering atop the plexiglass
case of the model, SMASHING AT IT with his umbrella, trying to
get at the box.
FRICK
That's the treasure?
CATWOMAN
No. It's a map...
He hunkers down on the floor and knocks the rusted padlock off
the box. He opens it and stares greedily at the contents -- a
MAP and a bunch of old, crumbling PHOTOS. The CATWOMAN creeps
over to his side:
PENGUIN
Bruce Wayne. So he doesn't know a thing
about the treasure, eh...?
(handing her the map)
Look at this. It's right under Wayne
Manor. It's been there all along!
PENGUIN (cont.)
Looks like some kind of cave.
VICKI
No, no -- don't try to get up -- you're
hurt.
VICKI (cont.)
It's all right. You're safe. You can
stay here as long as you need to.
DICK
I don't belong here. You can't keep me
here.
VICKI
It's "Dick", isn't it? Or do you prefer
"Richard"?
VICKI
"R" -- for Richard, right? See, all your
things are here...
(staring at the costume)
What is it, some kind of gymnast's outfit?
DICK
It's none of your business. What is this,
some kind of home?
VICKI
No, not that kind. There's a swimming
pool -- tennis court -- you can have
anything you want.
DICK
Tennis court?! -- Lady, you're rich. How
the hell would you know what I want?
DICK
I'm not staying. You can't make me --
BRUCE
I can make you.
BRUCE (cont.)
Come on. Wanna go at it?
(no response)
Look, kid -- like it or not, you're my
guest -- and long as you're here you might
as well enjoy it.
BRUCE (cont.)
Will you two be okay in here?
VICKI nods yes. BRUCE backs out of the room.
BRUCE pulls the door shut. ALFRED follows him down the hall.
ALFRED
What do you propose to do with him, sir?
Keep him in the room for the rest of his
life?
BRUCE
I don't know, Alfred. I've got other
stuff to worry about.
ALFRED
The child is hurt, sir. At the very least
we should attempt to locate his parents.
BRUCE
He hasn't got any parents.
ALFRED
How do you know that, sir?
BRUCE
...I know.
ALFRED
Sir -- it's Miss Kyle.
SELINA
Well! Tall, dark and handsome. Are we
still on for tonight?
DISSOLVE TO:
INT. WAYNE MANOR - FRONT PARLOR - NIGHT
ALFRED
Is this necessary, sir? After all...it is
Christmas eve.
BRUCE
Stuff'll knock out a moose, much less a
cat.
ALFRED
I don't like to see you going out on a
date...unprotected, sir.
BRUCE
She'll be ready for Batman -- but not for
me.
(turning to go)
It's the only way, Alfred. I've got to
take her out tonight.
DICK watches from the front parlor as VICKI meets BRUCE at the
bottom of the stairs. The two of them exchange a few brief
words; he embraces her, strokes her hair gently -- then glumly
sets his jaw and moves off toward the front door.
SELINA
You're early. I'm afraid I'm not quite
dressed.
BRUCE enters and takes a long look around. It's a big open
loft, only partly finished, filled with Egyptian artifacts.
The walls feature modern paintings with CAT MOTIFS. The
finished section is dominated by a huge BED on a raised
platform -- three or four CATS are walking around on it,
yowling at BRUCE. SELINA CHUCKLES as he scopes it all out.
SELINA (cont.)
If you're looking for my bondage gear,
it's at the cleaners.
BRUCE
Christmas eve. No tree?
SELINA
No presents. I've been a bad girl this
year.
BRUCE
I'm surprised you kept this date. I
thought you would've lost interest by now.
SELINA
What makes you say that?
BRUCE
You've got what you want, don't you?
SELINA
I do now.
(smiling)
We've had this date for a long, long time.
With that, she sets the drinks down on the table and moves in
to KISS him -- a long, slow, wet kiss. But BRUCE seems
strangely unresponsive. She breaks free and gives him a funny
look.
BRUCE
How much is it going to cost me?
SELINA
What?
BRUCE
...To get the ravens back.
SELINA
You're the oddest man I've ever met.
(moving in on him)
Let's talk later, Bruce. I've got kind of
a short fuse...
He JERKS BACK suddenly -- pushes her away. His free hand goes
to his neck, where a thin trickle of BLOOD is oozing from
between two bright red LIPSTICK LIPS. She's bitten him...
Now she SHUSHES him -- reaches over to the tiny wound and
massages it gently with one hand.
SELINA
Did I hurt you? Just relax -- you'll
start to enjoy it.
SELINA (cont.)
Bruce, you look faint. It must be the
cats.
BRUCE'S POV
BRUCE
What di-- what did you d--
SELINA
I guess I've...gotten under your skin.
The PENGUIN, FRICK and FRACK stroll through the doorway and
stand over him -- ALL LAUGHING...
DISSOLVE TO:
ALFRED
Everything's fine, thank you. We'll talk
in an hour.
DICK opens the bedroom door and peeks down the hall. He's got
all his belongings tied up in a bundle on the bed; he opens a
window and throws the bundle outside.
There's a nice strong TREE BRANCH some ten or twelve feet from
the window -- just close enough that he should be able to make
it. He climbs up onto the windowsill, crouches, and SPRINGS.
PENGUIN
Try his mag card.
FRICK
Look at this. He's a pillhead.
Now FRICK finds a mag-striped card and INSERTS IT into an
electronic device at the edge of the drive. The gates
magically part. There's a large VAN just behind the car --
driven by FRACK, and carrying two random GOONS. Both vehicles
pull in before the gates slide shut.
She sees BRUCE standing there and her face lights up.
VICKI
Ohh. Am I glad to --
PENGUIN
MER-R-R-RY CHRISTMAS!!
He races over to peer around the corner. He sees the two cars
out front. He sees the last of the goon squad barging in
through the front door.
VICKI
What did you do to him??
SELINA
First-time jitters, I guess. Everything
was going great, and then...he just went
limp as a noodle.
PENGUIN
You'd be the butler. Why don't you come
on down and attend to your guests?
ALFRED
Mr. Wayne. Is he -- ?
PENGUIN
You know how it is. Some guys just can't
hold their egg nog.
PENGUIN
I should explain the occasion of our
visit. There's a treasure underneath this
house -- and I don't plan to leave until
you tell me how to find it. Now who's
going to talk -- Miss Vale?
VICKI
I don't know what you're talking about.
PENGUIN
The cave. Under the house. How do I get
there?
VICKI (cont.)
I don't know! I swear, I would tell
you --
PENGUIN
(turning to ALFRED)
Then maybe you'd like to tell me.
ALFRED
You're no more than a common thief.
PENGUIN
Wrong, you old idiot. I happen to be a
very uncommon thief.
(beat)
Are you going to tell me, or does Miss
Vale get an early present this year?
FRICK cocks the gun. VICKI stares aghast at ALFRED, who scans
the room, weighing his options. Trembling, he shuts his
eyes --
ALFRED
I...don't...know...
PENGUIN
Then go ahead, Mr. Frick...decorate the
tree.
SELINA
Wait!
(crossing over to VICKI)
We don't know how to get down there yet.
We may need her when Bruce wakes up.
The PENGUIN sighs and waves FRICK off. ALFRED and VICKI heave
simultaneous sighs of relief. He throws her a shamefaced look
-- but she gives him a tiny nod of acknowledgement: you made
the right play.
SELINA (cont.)
Besides -- I want this one for myself. So
pretty...I'm going to give her a brand new
face for Christmas.
PENGUIN
Why don't you two tie up our host?
ALFRED sits beside VICKI while SELINA wanders off to tour the
premises. FRICK and FRACK, meanwhile, drag BRUCE into a back
parlor which opens off the room they're in.
They dump BRUCE face down on a sofa -- then rip the telephone
cords from around the baseboard and use them to bind his hands
and feet.
PENGUIN
It's all so plush and tasteful, isn't it?
Just the sort of setting in which I've
always imagined myself.
PENGUIN (cont.)
I see. You think I'm vulgar. You think
I'm...nouveau.
ALFRED
I think you're a dirty little man with
a --
PENGUIN
See, boys, that's old money talking.
After a while, they actually start to
believe they've earned all this.
(smirking)
I don't mind. Someday I'll be old money
too -- when the statute of limitations
runs out.
SELINA (O.S.)
Hey! -- Guess what I just found.
SELINA (cont.)
Christmas cookies!
PENGUIN
Let's spread out and see what we can find.
(to FRICK and FRACK)
You two -- keep an eye on our friends
here. Give me a yell the minute Wayne
comes to.
FRICK
Better check it out.
FRICK stays behind as FRACK rushes out into the entryway and
down a long hall to the kitchen. He tosses a glance back at
VICKI and ALFRED, then steps out into the entryway himself.
FRICK (cont.)
What is it? What's going on??
VICKI and ALFRED look into the back parlor. DICK GRAYSON has
sneaked in behind the sofa -- and he's busy sawing away at
BRUCE's bonds with a letter opener. Both of them stiffen
simultaneously -- if FRICK steps back inside, he'll have a
clear view of DICK and BRUCE.
FRACK
Some kind of security system --
DICK's gotten BRUCE free -- but BRUCE, still under the effects
of the drug, isn't much use. He tries to get off the sofa and
crumples in a heap.
DICK
Can you move, man?
BRUCE
Library -- got to get me to the library --
FRICK and FRACK conferring, ignoring VICKI and ALFRED for the
moment. By now the PENGUIN is waddling in from a hallway:
PENGUIN
What is that ungodly racket?
FRACK
A security alarm. It went off in the
kitchen.
PENGUIN
My God! Is someone in here?
He struts over to huddle with his cronies. BRUCE and DICK are
still poised in the doorway. It looks bad...
The room's a mess, books all over the floor. The groggy BRUCE
props himself up against his desk. He manages to pull the
bottom drawer open -- gropes frantically for the secret
switch. He's CRYING.
BRUCE
Alfred...
DICK
I'll go back.
BRUCE
I can't...get down there...without you.
PENGUIN
What an extraordinarily stupid thing to
do.
VICKI
SHUT UP. Help me with him.
The PENGUIN rolls his eyes and orders FRICK and FRACK to give
VICKI a hand without him. They carry him into the parlor, lay
him out on the sofa. VICKI reaches into her purse for a
handkerchief and begins binding his wound as the PENGUIN pulls
FRACK aside.
PENGUIN
You and I had better check the ground
floor and see what's going on. Mr. Frick
-- do you think you'll be able to manage
this pair?
FRICK
Yes sir.
PENGUIN
Oh, good. That does relieve my mind --
He turns, glances into the back parlor, and sees a pile of CUT
CORDS on the love seat. The blood drains out of his face.
PENGUIN (cont.)
Where's Wayne???
DICK has just entered another world -- and he's looking around
him in pure, unalloyed amazement. BRUCE is fumbling with a
packet on a spare UTILITY BELT; he shakes out a fistful of
pills and swallows them dry.
INSERT - MONITOR
PENGUIN
Check the grounds! The shape he's in, he
can't have gotten far.
The PENGUIN sees the same thing happening, only from inside.
He listens helplessly as his GOONS pound on the steel panels
from outside. It's just occurred to him that he's trapped in
here...
BRUCE
-- as soon as he gets to the East wing.
Wait for my signal. You know what to do.
She's off the sofa like a shot, DIVING for the entry hall.
FRICK turns and takes aim --
VICKI hits the floor of the entry hall. HUGE OAKEN SLIDING
DOORS are already slamming shut behind her. The same thing is
happening all down the hall -- the East wing of the house is
sealing itself off!
DICK
Here. You might need it.
ALFRED
Thank you, Master Dick. And...bravo.
VICKI has made it to the wall phone. She can't seem to get a
dial tone --
SELINA (cont.)
I tawt I taw a puddy tat...!!
With that she raises a hand -- and her CLAWS pop out. VICKI
turns, grabs a carving knife from a wooden block -- but before
she can do anything with it, a WHIP cracks and wraps around
her wrist, jerking the knife loose. SELINA tugs on the other
end, reeling her closer.
SELINA
You know, I've got a great recipe for
Sliced Bitch --
SELINA
I love a good old-fashioned catfight --
but this is pissing me off.
VICKI races up the stairs. She has a good lead, but SELINA
makes up the difference in a hurry. She takes the stairway in
three giant bounds -- reaches the landing just as VICKI ducks
down the hall and into a bedroom, slamming the door behind her
and LOCKING IT.
SELINA
HERE, kitty kitty kitty...HERE, kitty
kitty...
SELINA enters and strikes a coy pose as she shuts the door
behind her. VICKI has opened a pair of French doors leading
to a balcony, but it's too long a drop. She stands there
paralyzed as SELINA advances.
SELINA
So this is where you earn your keep.
She GRABS VICKI -- holds her out at arm's length and shoves
her roughly back onto the bed. VICKI flails wildly as SELINA
kneels atop her...
SELINA
Mmm! Frederick's of Gotham?
SELINA
Not so loud, honey! The neighbors'll get
the wrong idea.
(laughing)
Santa's coming. Time for all good girls
to go to sleep...
BATMAN
Miss me, "Angel"?
He yanks her bodily off the bed. Before she knows what's
happening, he delivers a POWERHOUSE UPPERCUT. She flies into
the door and knocks it cleanly off its hinges.
BATMAN steps out after SELINA, who's only now picking herself
up.
SELINA
Okay -- let's do it, huh? You and me...
all the way this time.
VICKI rushes out of the bedroom. She looks down the hall and
sees FRACK flying out of the guest room, UPSIDE DOWN --
slamming into the wall opposite. He slumps to the carpet, out
cold.
VICKI
Come on. We'll be safe in the cave.
VICKI
Come on. Come with us.
DICK
No. I can still help...
INT. HALLWAY - A MOMENT LATER
WIPE TO:
PENGUIN
Such primitive entertainment.
PENGUIN (cont.)
So Bruce equals Batman. It seems I've
discovered two treasures!
(an evil smile)
Don't move. I'd be only too happy to
shoot you both.
He pulls out his packet of photos and begins to scan the cave.
He spots the distinctive ROCK FORMATION in an upper vault of
the cavern. It's a couple of plateaus over; a long narrow
CATWALK runs past it, some ten or twelve feet below.
PENGUIN
The Gotham City Treasury. It's about to
be stolen twice.
ALFRED
Don't be absurd. You'll never be able to
get it out of here.
PENGUIN
Oh, I'll manage somehow. You two are my
guarantee of that.
(nudging VICKI with the gun)
Let's have a look, shall we? You go
first.
He shoves her. She starts across the catwalk, his gun at her
head.
SELINA
It could've been so nice -- you and me --
if only you weren't so screwed up.
BATMAN
It's over. I don't want to hurt you any
more.
SELINA
Tell me something -- one thing. If you
don't enjoy all this...why do you do it?
SELINA (cont.)
I'll never understand men.
BATMAN advances slowly down the stairs. Her arms and legs jut
out at unnatural angles; she lets out an eerie, whimpering
YOWL OF PAIN -- a cri du chat. He stands over her; she glares
up at him.
BATMAN
Nine lives.
CATWOMAN
I can't move. I can't move.
Her face is cut and bleeding. She tries to lift an arm and
can't quite manage it. He crouches down beside her, still
cautious...
CATWOMAN (cont.)
DON'T LOOK AT ME!!
(pleading)
Do me, baby...do me now...that's what I
want. Please?
BATMAN
No.
CATWOMAN
COME ON. Don't stop now. FINISH ME OFF.
(almost weeping with pain)
Son of a bitch. You're all alike...
DICK
You should've done it, man. You should've
killed her.
BATMAN
There's a radio in the cave. We'll send
for help.
The PENGUIN and VICKI are on a catwalk just below the ROCK
FORMATION. A STONE OUTCROPPING extends toward the catwalk,
and he forces her to JUMP FOR IT. Now he has to follow; the
prospect makes him nervous, but it's a short hop, and he
clears it okay -- finding his footing on the rocky slope.
PENGUIN
Ah, the illustrious Mr. Wayne. Look at
you now. Whatever would your friends say?
(smiling)
You've been an exceptionally congenial
host -- but I must ask you to back off.
The PENGUIN grabs hold of VICKI and HOLDS HER CLOSE as they
climb the last few feet toward the grotto. BATMAN swings his
cape around, concealing his hands from view. He takes a
cautious step backward.
PENGUIN
No sudden moves. It's a long way down.
BATMAN
VICKI!
With BATS screaming all around her, VICKI takes a deep breath
and VAULTS toward the CATWALK. She's a foot short; she grabs
hold of the railing and HANGS THERE, over the ABYSS, trying to
pull herself up. BATMAN races toward her --
VICKI screams. BATMAN manages to grab the rail with one hand.
Now two of them are hanging from the catwalk -- sitting ducks
-- and the PENGUIN is determined to empty the clip.
BATMAN pulls a tiny DEVICE from his utility belt and FLINGS
IT. It lands in the rocks at the PENGUIN's feet. He stares
down at it, and two beats later --
He's just been beaten at his own game. He lets out a last
awful HOWL as HUNDREDS OF BATS ENGULF HIM --
CUT TO:
BRUCE
He saved all our lives, Jim. I can't say
for sure, but I'd bet she's the one behind
the murders.
GORDON
God -- I pray you're right.
(beat)
One thing before we go, Bruce. Who's the
kid?
BRUCE looks into the front parlor, where VICKI and DICK are
righting the fallen Christmas tree.
BRUCE
Oh, that's Vicki's little cousin. He's in
town for the holidays.
GORDON
Well, he picked a hell of a time to visit.
(turning to go)
Merry Christmas, Bruce. Good luck
cleaning this place up.
VICKI
What are you going to do with all that
gold?
BRUCE
I dunno. Might be a good start on a place
to live -- for some people who don't have
one.
VICKI
It's Christmas.
BRUCE
Yeah. Maybe you should -- open your
present.
BRUCE
...You might as well.
CAMERA PULLS UP and away until we can see the whole of the
devastated room, and all the people in it -- VICKI, falling
into BRUCE's arms; DICK, off to one side, watching them;
ALFRED, tossing broken furniture into a roaring fireplace.
And on the image of this decidedly eccentric family unit, we
FADE OUT.
THE END