Zebra Spider
Zebra Spider
Zebra Spider
Salticus Scenicus
A proving
By
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“I hear a drum in my soul’s ear coming from the depths of the stars.”
Rumi
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Index
1.The Substance
1.1 Capture 5
1.2 Courtship 6
1.3 Biology 7
1.4 Mythology 10
1.5 Has it been proven? 12
1.6 Teacher Spider 12
1.7 Ethical considerations; and RSVP! 14
2. The Proving
3. The Remedy
3.1 Repertory 20
3.2 Themes 68
3.3 Idea of Zebra 99
4. Conclusion
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1. The Substance
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Capture
It began in a moment
Tiny – I could easily have missed her; but - impossible to miss her;
She captured me
I fell prey.
1.1 Capture
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1.2 Courtship
So began my journey with Zebra Spider. I had an inkling I wanted to do a proving for my fourth year
project, I had no idea as to what. Then he/she just turned up one sunny day in April 2015 in my back
garden and - captivated me.
There was no specific reasoning or thought process to my proving a spider. As my poem “Capture”
attempts to convey, I was literally caught by the spider, drawn in and fascinated by its darting
movement, its appearance – a tiny spider with vivid black and white markings, its general sense of
otherworldliness; it almost seemed to me to be moving in a time or rhythm of its own, outside of my
own sense of time. I was quite sure I’d never seen one before but I later found out that Zebra is one of
our common native spiders.
Throughout my write up and the course of the proving, I find myself flipping between thinking of
Zebra as a he or she; biologically there are distinctly males and females but in my mind there’s an
ambiguity about it – there is a quality about Zebra that is almost impish and not feminine in the way
that the archetypal spider is often seen.
Inquisitive as to what type of spider this was, I looked it up on the internet, and was surprised I was
easily able to identify it based on its distinctive black and white striped markings. But what really
caught my imagination was the colloquial name for this spider – “the Actor” - hence its Latin name –
Salticus scenicus – “theatrical jumper”.
I decided to test this out, if I saw one again. Oddly enough, having never noticed this spider before, in
the following days I did spot one again, this time on a sunny window sill - one of Zebra’s favourite
haunts.
One thing you should know about Zebra spider, you’re not likely to find them if you look too hard.
You tend to spot them out of your periphery vision – and because they’re so tiny, its their movement
that usually catches your eye. And so it was that day. Sitting, reading a book, I noticed a movement -
there he was on the window sill. I slowly stood up and, standing about two feet away, he stopped and
turned around to face me and stared right back at me. Then, having had a bit of a stand off for a few
seconds, it turned about and went on its way, darting and jumping acrobatically in the way that they
do. Of course, I was by now hooked, having now seen the truth behind its name!
Synchronistically, two weeks later I was at the Welsh School of Homeopathy (“WSH”) and we were
taught by Linda Gwillim, a core teacher and clinical director at WSH, about the remedy Tarantula and
some other spiders and an example of its use in a case of ADHD struck me. With the idea of proving
Zebra having already taken seed in my mind, this seed now began to germinate and I decided I would
like to try to prove little Zebra. I spoke to Linda about it who was happy for me to go ahead with the
proving for my fourth year project – reminding me to keep the substance a secret! I wanted to use the
Trituration method, for reasons explained later on.
Zebra is a bit capricious, you know. She tends to turn up if she wants to be seen but sometimes can
stay hidden - for a long time. Although I saw Zebra on the odd occasion over the next couple of
months, it was then as if she vanished. I didn’t get a sighting of her again until the run up to the
proving the following Spring. It could be there is a seasonal element to this but to me it was almost as
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if Zebra had flirted with me, got my attention but then, once I’d formulated the definite intention to do
the proving, skedaddled! To the extent, I almost began to doubt at times whether it was “meant to be”.
Something told me to stick with it – and, as the date of the proving drew near, sure enough Zebra did
turn up, in abundance, and taught me a great deal in the process.
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There is something about this substance that demands not to be taken too seriously. As a favourite
philosopher, Alan Watts once said, “one can be absolutely sincere without having to be serious”.
There is a playfulness to Zebra. Indeed, when I tried to find a book about Zebra spider, the only book
I could find on the internet was entitled “Jumping Spider – Amazing Creature Series” by Tanya
Turner.1 It had a lovely coloured photo of Zebra on the front along with some other rather exotic
looking Jumping Spiders. I went ahead and ordered it and found, once I received it, it was written in a
simple and easy to read style with lots of pictures – it was, in fact, a children’s book! This childlike
theme was a key theme in the remedy, as you will see.
So, what follows is a section on Zebra spider biology which I hope the reader will find useful in
getting to know this little spider.
Credit:
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1.3 Biology
Spiders
Spiders belong to the class of animals known as arachnids (from the Greek myth of Arachne). There
are ten orders within this class, including Scopions (Scorpiones) and Spiders (Araneae).
Spiders can be found all over the earth in a range of different habitats, from deserts to mountains,
tropical to northern climes. The different species have adaptations and strategies for particular
environments. All are hunters - many spiders are web spinners whilst others (including jumping
spiders) have different methods of catching prey such as jumping to catch them. In many species,
young spiders can disperse over long distances; they “fly” on a thread they have spun which is carried
by the wind (ballooning).
In most species the female is bigger than the male and copulation can be risky for the males, who
have to find strategies not to be killed by the female. Some males perform a dance so that the female
recognises them. Black widow (Latrodectus mactans) females will often eat the males!
They are not social and are often cannibalistic. They can live for long periods of time without food.
They are very sensitive to vibration which helps them to catch their prey as soon as it touches their
web.
In terms of anatomy, unlike insects with three segments, the spider body is divided into two segments,
the cephalothorax – head and chest (2) and the abdomen (3).
They have eight legs (1) which are attached to the cephalothorax.
Within the abdomen a powerful heart is located under the back shell and also the lungs, intestines and
large ovaries, silk glands and spinneret.
Spiders have up to eight eyes – with a single lens in each (not the multiple compound eyes of insects).
Hunting spiders including jumping spiders and wolf spiders have the most advanced vision of the
spiders and the main pair of eyes in jumping spiders can even see in colour.
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Zebra spider (Salticus scenicus)
Zebra spider is a common jumping spider of the Northern Hemisphere. It is widespread in Britain. It
is not a web builder but hunts its prey using its eyes and ability to jump and pounce. Zebra is one of a
family of over 5800 species of jumping spiders. They often live close to human settlements and can
often be seen on sunny walls and fences on sunny days; window sills are a common haunt!
Diet
Their diet includes smaller spiders, smaller moths and insects but they have been observed to catch
prey up to three times their length, such as moths. This is a photo I took of one in the summer of 2016,
hanging suspended by its silk threat, holding on to an improbably large moth.
Hunting
They use their large front eyes to locate and stalk
their prey. Then they move slowly until close
enough to jump and pounce on it – almost cat-like.
Eyes
They have eight eyes, four pairs and each pair has a
different role which results in excellent vision. It is
thought that jumping spiders have the best eye sight
of any other spider family and it is the only one able
to see in colour. The eyes go around to the back of
the head so it can see all around itself.
The front two pairs are large and forward-facing,
giving stereoscopic vision; the rear eyes are like
motion detectors. If you waggle a finger near a zebra
spider it is likely to turn around to get a better look,
which may account for it being said to be aware
of the human gaze!
Jumping
As the name suggests, jumping spiders (Salticidae
from the Latin “saltare” – to jump) are able to jump!
They can jump up to eighty times their own body length by controlling blood pressure in their legs. In
a Zebra spider this can be up to 10cm. By squeezing the muscles in the right places, blood is forced
suddenly into the legs, causing them to straighten suddenly which propels the spider into the air.
Silk
Although not web spinners, they use their silk in two main ways. They use it as a safety line - they
will they attach a silk thread to a surface before jumping so if it misses it can abseil back to safety.
They also use their silk to make “pup cases” which are little cocoons of silk that they hide in and also
store eggs.
Sex
Female Zebras are 5-9mm long and Zebra males are 5-6mm. In jumping spiders males are distinct
from females and tend to be more colourful or have more elaborate “hair dos” in the more exotic
species. In Zebra, the males can be distinguished from females as they have a set of huge chelicerae
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(front appendages) that are used in battle with other males 2. In courtship, males attract the females by
a complex dance, moving around the females with their legs waving in the air 3, so that the female
will recognise they are not an enemy or even prey. The better the dance, the greater likelihood the
female will accept them.
Reproduction
Females Zebras stay with their egg sacs and guard their young after they hatch. This is not common to
all spiders although some spiders e.g. wolf spiders, will guard and carry their young around on their
backs. Only after the Zebra spiderlings have had their second moult will they leave their mother and
fend for themselves 4. As the spiderlings grow, they moult their exoskeleton a number of times.
The Actor
As I have mentioned, I was intrigued to learn that Zebra spiders are noted for their awareness of
humans. Colloquially they have been called “the actor”. “Upon noticing someone observing them,
they can be seen raising their head, and usually change behaviour – hence the name Salticus
scenicus, theatrical jumper.5 When I observed this for myself I was all the more fascinated and I think
we can see in the themes section that this particular quality comes through in the proving, with issues
about being observed/observing others. So this a little tit bit to engage our interest as homeopaths in
the Zebra spider. But in terms of spiders in general, having looked at the biology lets have a quick
look at the archetype and general themes of spiders in homeopathy, to get a taste of what may be in
store.
1.4 Mythology
Spider has long been an archetype in the human psyche. Many people have a pronounced fear or
phobia of them, or if not fear then at the very least they can give us the heebie geebies. Given their
small size this is perhaps surprising but we seem instinctively aware that their bite can in some cases
be harmful and poisonous. They also seem to be able to move very quickly. They are not generally
endearing creatures, are they? There is something quite alien about them. And yet, if you look at close
up photos of jumping spiders in particular, with their big eyes and often beautiful coloured patterns
there is something rather engaging about them...its a personal thing I guess.
Before I met Zebra, though not particularly fearful of spiders, I certainly wouldn’t have described
myself as a spider enthusiast! I did have a certain respect for them as a species though and would
never willingly harm one. I remember a friend from my university student days, a zoologist, who told
me a rhyme which stuck with me:-
“If you want to live and thrive, let the spidler stay alive!”
But anyway, we can see there is an element of threat or feeling threatened, in this archetype. As I have
alluded to, the spider archetype is predominantly associated with the feminine. My friend and
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homeopathic supervisor, Bethan Walton, recently introduced me to the work of an artist by the name
of Louise Borgeois and her sculptural work Maman, which depicts a spider. It alludes to the mother,
with metaphors of spinning, weaving, nurture and protection:-
“The Spider is an ode to my mother. She was my best friend. Like a spider, my mother was a weaver.
My family was in the business of tapestry restoration, and my mother was in charge of the workshop.
Like spiders, my mother was very clever. Spiders are friendly presences that eat mosquitoes. We know
that mosquitoes spread disease and are therefore unwanted. So, spiders are helpful and protective, just
like my mother”. 6
Biologically the male spider tends to be smaller than the female, which can lead to risky copulations
as sometimes the female will kill and eat the male!
Another strong archetypal theme in Spider is the idea of Tarantism. Without going into too much
detail for the purposes of this overview, the idea of it appears to derive from old pagan rites of
initiation and later elements of a Catholic-Christian exorcism, according to “Bitten in the Soul” by
Massimo Mangialavori and Hans Zwemke 7. The sexual and instinctive sphere was suppressed
particularly in this religious culture. But an allowance was sometimes made in that someone
exhibiting such behaviours in an overt way must have become “crazy” from being bitten by the
spider, and such a person was allowed to
“give way to her instincts and behave in an “exhibitionistic” and openly sexual way. If she were ready for a
healing cure, for the excorcism provided by dancing the Tarantella for days until exhaustion, purification
would come..”.8
Fast, repetitive music was played, until the right rhythm was found. So in this myth we see the
elements of dancing and love of rhythm that we see so often in the spiders, particularly well known in
Tarantula. Keeping with the theme of rhythm, we also know that spiders are very sensitive to
vibration and there is an idea that they are sensitive to music.
According to Mangialavori and Zwemke, here are some general characteristics of spiders:-
They often have a distinctive look – maybe dark haired, darting eyes, perhaps something spiky about
them. Other well known themes include extreme restlessness, hurry, rapid movements, often a
devious and cunning side to them.
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There is lots of information on spider themes readily available but I think its useful to have a flavour
of spiders in general before we go on to look at Zebra in detail. It is interesting to see how many of
these themes came through in the proving.
Having fallen in love with the Spider, I think I would have gone ahead with the proving even if it had
been proved already. But I was happy to find that that there was no proving data on this particular
species of jumping spider; it gave an added sense of purpose to carrying out the proving.
During this process I read Portia fimbriata “The incredible power of a tiny little one” by Brigitte
Klotzsh 9; it was wonderful to learn about a proving of a different species of jumping spider and gave
me added confidence in what I was proposing to do. Portia is a somewhat more exotic species than
Zebra which is common to northern climes.
I checked proving data on www.provings.info 10 and was not able to find proving data specifically
relating to Salticus scenicus. The only information on it linked to a proving of Aranea scinencia,
“Gray spider”, in the latter part of the 19th century. The species used remains unclarified but most
likely belonged to the family of the Salticidae. Whether this was a zebra spider or another species is
not clear but given its description as a gray spider, I think perhaps not.
Lastly I was fortunate to have the opportunity to visit Helios homeopathic pharmacy on a WSH trip in
February 2016 and John Morgan kindly allowed me to check their full list of remedies to see if the
substance was listed; happily it was not!
So, as far as I have been able to tell Zebra is unproven but I would of course be delighted to discover
any other proving information on this substance in the future.
About five weeks before the proving, after a long period of not seeing Zebra anywhere since the
previous summer, I began to think seriously about finding one again. I didn’t go actively hunting for
one but one sunny day again, there was one on my window sill. It was an adult female. I quickly
captured her – I didn’t have much time to think about it, they don’t hang around in one spot for long,
and grabbing a nearby container I gently guided her in. Now what? Its still over a month to go to the
proving! I went out and bought a spider vivarium from the local pet shop. Well, if I’m going to keep
it, I thought, I’d better keep it in some style.
Setting up home
I read up information posted by jumping spider enthusiasts on the internet. These spiders are active
little jumpers so paraphernalia such as twigs and a stone or two were a must. They tend to be more
active in the day and I would often see her climbing about, sometimes directly up the sheer glass sides
of the container, probably looking for an escape route! But also they need some shelter. I found that
the spider liked to hide under a piece of tissue paper. I observed that the spider would weave a little
cocoon of silk around itself when resting, usually at night. She would form her silk case invariably
underneath the shelter of the tissue paper - which was very handy actually as it was much easier to
find her; they are very small spiders.
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In accordance with the advice given by the jumping spider enthusiasts, I would dab very small
amounts of water on to the side of the glass, which the spider could drink from. They need very little
and you have to be careful not to put too much water as they can easily drown in it, with their delicate
book lungs. The only problem really, it seemed, was food.
Hunting
For some reason it didn’t occur to me to go and buy some ready prepared pet spider food. I think
actually this was part of my process in terms of learning about the spider. I found out what they
tended to eat e.g. small flies, moths, other small spiders even, and then set about every other day or so
to capture some - they don’t have to have a meal every day.
At first there was some anxiety about this – what if I can’t find/catch a suitable insect? But I quickly
began to observe that so long as I was alert whilst going about my daily business, finding food wasn’t
too much of a problem. I would be working at my computer or reading a book and a little silver
clothes moth (these were particular favourites) would flutter by – my peripheral vision and sensitivity
to movement became a little more refined during this process! Then I would quickly act, grab a small
container that I’d taken to carrying around, and sneak up on the moth once it had settled, capture it
and present it to my spider. Then I would delight in observing the spider’s hunting ability. Once the
moth was in its sights it would turn and focus on its prey and move forwards tentatively, like a bit like
a big cat stalking its prey, then quickly jump and pounce. Sometimes it didn’t get a good hold and the
moth would escape but invariably she got a good grip and then, would slowly digest her prey.
I also took to visiting the compost bin which I found was a veritable haven for small black flies and
fruit flies. I became quite adept at catching them too but you had to be very quick and sneak up on
them from behind.
I did not take some gory delight in this; I didn’t enjoy catching insets to be eaten per sé but, as part of
the process, I was almost becoming the spider – in order that my spider in captivity could eat. It
seemed only fair really. But, as a deeper part of this process the profound realisation was that there
was no need for anxiety about food turning up. I didn’t have to go around hunting all the time; so long
as I was alert at least some of the time, it seemed something would turn up. It made me think about
how simpler and less anxiety ridden life must have been in hunter/gatherer societies. It also made me
think about unnecessary anxieties in my life, and how often the universe provides so long as we are
alert and have a certain degree of participation in this.
Escape
So this really was a teacher spider and, after a month of observing the spider, hunting and providing
for her, I was becoming very averse to using this particular spider for the trituration – I even named
her, Salty. However, with little over a week to go before the proving and not having spotted any
others, it was becoming increasingly likely I would have to use her. Luckily the decision was taken
out of my hands. One day I must have accidentally left the lid to the vivarium slightly ajar and when I
went to look for her, she was gone, escaped. Great, I was relieved in a way, but now I was really
becoming concerned about the upcoming proving and lack of a specimen. Its not like I was proving
some kind of rock or plant that I could just go and collect from somewhere. I should have
remembered what I’d learned from Salty – to trust the process.
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1.7 Ethical considerations; and RSVP!
Ethics
It so happened that in the run up to the proving the issue of using animals in experimentation in
homeopathy was being debated by the Society of Homeopaths. Apart from the fact that I genuinely
loved the spider and didn’t relish the thought of destroying one for the purposes of the proving, this
added to my quandary and I spoke to Linda about my concerns. Looking into it further we were
satisfied that I would not be breaching any ethical guidelines. Quite rightly the Society does not
approve of experimentation on animals. This relates to using animals in laboratories, for example, to
test products.
The preparation of remedies does not fall into this category and presumably neither preparation for
proving material which goes on to become remedies; otherwise we could not in good conscience use
remedies such as Apis or Tarantula. Unfortunately for insects, bugs and spiders their death cannot
really be avoided in the process of preparation of homeopathic remedies. In a larger animal we can
use a feather or a blood sample, for example, without any harm to the animal involved.
I did not want to crush the live spider, as is done with preparation of Formica Rufa (crushed live ants)
and decided that I would use the same method as for Apis. I would drown the specimen in some good
quality brandy, which on balance seemed like a better way to go.
RSVP!
Having addressed these concerns, I was a week prior to the proving in the position of not having a live
spider to use in any event. As is so often the case, all that was required was some intention and
attention. I meditated on what I was intending to do; asking the substance to “turn up”. That
afternoon I spotted a Zebra on the window sill, this time it was a male. Thankful and relieved, I
captured it and kept it safely and humanely with food and water for the duration of the week. That
wasn’t the end of it though. The following days were warm and sunny which is great for Zebra
spotting. Over the next three days, during my lunch hour when I popped home from work I was easily
able to spot three Zebras on each consecutive day on the garden walls. By mid week then I had four
specimens and was ready for the big day on Sunday 17th April 2016.
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2.The Proving
2.1 Why Tritruation?
I knew early on that I wanted to use the trituration method. In my first year at WSH I had the
opportunity to take part as a prover in a trituration and I remember being astounded at the information
that was accessed during the course of the process and also how much of this related to the substance
once this was revealed at the end.
Proving a substance by trituration involves using a pestle and mortar to slowly break down the
substance which has been mixed in sac lac powder. The provers form a circle and, each with a pestle
and mortar, go through a series (or rounds) of grinding and scraping the substance. As the rounds
progress and amounts of powder are removed and fresh powder added at certain stages, the amount of
the actual substance left in each prover’s mortar becomes increasing smaller and miniscule; but,
increasingly dynamised due to the process of grinding and scraping. In this way, it is similar to the
process of dilution and succussion in water we are more familiar with.
§ 269
The homeopathic system of medicine develops for its special use, to a hitherto unheard-of degree, the inner spirit-like medicinal
powers of the crude substances by means of a process peculiar to it and which has hitherto never been tried, whereby only they
become immeasurably and penetratingly efficacious and remedial, even those that in the crude state give no evidence of the
slightest medicinal power on the human body. This remarkable change in the qualities of natural bodies develops the latent,
hitherto unperceived, as if slumbering, hidden, dynamic powers which influence the life principle…This is effected by
mechanical action upon their smallest particles by means of rubbing and shaking and through the addition of an
indifferent substances (dry or fluid) [in which these particles] are separated from each other. This process is called
dynamizing, potentizing, (development of medicinal power)…..11
The Trituration process itself has long been the mechanical method by which the raw, material
substance is first broken down and mixed with an inert substrate before being diluted and succussed in
water. It is documented that in 1812 Samuel Hahnemann triturated Aurum metallicum for ten rounds!
More recently it has been found that the process of trituration can offer useful insights as a method of
proving in itself. Throughout the process provers are able to record any physical, emotional or mental
symptoms or sensations they experience in their proving notebooks.
So that’s a basic explanation of what takes place; I cannot explain how it happens that the information
is received. Provers do not actually physically take a dose of the medicine as in a classical
Hahnemannian proving. However, it seems that working intensely and collectively as a group in the
field of the substance as it is being dynamised has the same effect of taking a dose. We know of this
field effect in homeopathy, for example, supervisors in a classical proving without actually having
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taken a dose themselves, being affected by and experiencing symptoms of the proving. The
Trituration Handbook “Into the heart of homeopathy” by Anneke Hogeland and Judy Schriebman is
recommended for further reading into this subject. Personally I also think “The Science Delusion” by
Rupert Sheldrake provides a fascinating insight into the subject of morphic fields and a non-
mechanistic approach to science.
In short, the process of triturating reveals the substance and its effects to us and, much like
homeopathy itself, sometimes the best way to understand it is perhaps to experience it.
“..throughout the Organon Hahnemann refers to two different kinds of knowledge: Wissen and
Kenntniss. Wissen is the kind of knowledge you get from studying or reading books, while Kenntniss is
that deep, personal knowledge you gain through experience...Triturations give people access to this
“Kenntniss kind of knowledge, a deep experiential understanding of a remedy”.12
The trituration process as we carry it out at WSH takes place over the course of a day. Unlike a
Hahnemannian proving, then, which often takes place over the course of a month, it is a lot more
condensed and limited in terms of time for all the information to reveal itself but the intensity of the
experience of the proving over the course of a day seems to reveal plentiful information – as you will
hopefully see from the information collected in this proving.
2.2 Preparation
As soon as I formed my intention to work with the substance, long before day of the proving actually
took place, it seemed I began to experience the effects of it personally. Only after analysing the
proving did I realise some of my behaviour may have related to the proving.
Especially notable were periods of industriousness which came out as a theme in the proving. Only it
was a peculiar kind of industriousness. I had a love of methodical working, often over small, fruitless
tasks. Before the proving I was very meticulous in my preparation. I spent hours one day measuring
out exact amounts of sac lac powder into small envelopes – of course, measuring the sac lac was
necessary for the proving; however what wasn’t necessary was to label and number each packet
specifically for each prover and round e.g. prover 1, C1, etc... and then to take great pains in lining
these up in an orderly fashion in a box. I knew, on some level, that the substance was only going to be
added right at the start and then it was just a matter of handing out additional portions of sac lac to
each prover as the rounds went on - there was no need for the packets to be meticulously labelled and
ordered! Yet it seemed the spider part of my process that was by then in full swing, loved and took
great pride and pleasure in this small, monotonous yet utterly useless task.
Having prepared my implements and powders and having my specimen Zebra spiders in readiness, I
felt as ready as I could be for the big day...
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2.3 The Trituration
The proving took place on Sunday 17th April 2016, beginning at 10am and we finished by about 4pm.
There were ten provers in all and only two, myself included, knew what the substance was.
A small idiosyncrasy of the proving I should mention is that the provers are numbered 1 – 11 with
prover 7 missing. Prover 7 had unexpectedly been taken ill and was unable to attend that morning and,
for some reason, rather than hand out the notebooks again I asked provers to stay with the numbers
they had been assigned. I used the same numbers in referring to the provers throughout, as explained
at the beginning of the repertory section. Apologies for any confusion here.
I brought four little Zebras along, three females and one male. Before the proving began and before
the other eight provers were invited upstairs, my hardest task of the day was to choose a specimen to
use for the trituration. A healthy looking, fully grown female was chosen. I had decided to quickly
drown the specimen in a small amount of alcohol, as discussed in section 1 under ethical
considerations. This was carried out with a spirit of gratitude towards the substance.
I then added the specimen to a small amount of sac lac powder and ground and mixed the substance
with the sac lac, a small amount of which was then added to each mortar to begin the first round. I
should point out that the substance was thoroughly mixed and not identifiable to the human eye.
Shortly after this the provers were invited upstairs.
Before beginning we set our intention as a group to be open to what the substance had to reveal with
the overall aim of uncovering a remedy and its healing potential. The provers were informed that it
was believed to be an unproven substance and were asked to note any symptoms they experienced,
either on a physical, emotion and mental level or sensation level or beyond, during the process.
Provers were asked to be open and non-judgemental in this and to just accurately record anything that
came up for them. The procedure for the trituration was as follows:-
Round 1
- Each prover to be provided with a pestle and mortar containing approximately 1 part substance to 33 parts milk
sugar.
- To grind the mixture with the pestle and mortar for six minutes and then scrape for four minutes.
- To repeat this process a second time (six minutes grinding, four minutes scraping).
- A further 33 parts of milk sugar to be added to the mortar and then grind and scrape for a further two cycles of six
minutes grinding, four minutes scraping respectively.
- Then the last portion of 33 parts of milk sugar to be added and a further two cycles of grinding and scraping. This
completes Round 1 and takes about an hour.
- The powder from Round 1 to be removed (leaving only a small part remaining in the mortar for the next round)
and to be labelled “C1” powder. Basically, this is one part substance 99 parts of milk sugar, which has been
dynamized by the force of trituration.
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- Triturating [grinding] must be done with some force, but only so forcefully that the milk sugar does not remain stuck to
the mortar and can be scraped clean within 4 minutes. And do not forget to scrape the head of the pestle.13
One of my provers was happy to be timekeeper for which I was very thankful. We did not talk to each
other during the rounds but feedback was taken at the end of each round.
By the time we were reaching the end of Round 3, collectively we felt that the energy of the proving
had run out and we decided not to proceed further. The powder collected from the final round of the
trituration was sent to Helios and I am grateful to John Morgan for arranging for the powder to be
prepared into potencies.
At the end of the proving the substance was revealed to the provers – literally and figuratively, as I
brought the remaining three live spiders into the room to show the provers, to a mixture of delight and
trepidation!
2.4 Release
As part of the closing down of the proving it seemed fitting to release the captured specimens back to
the wild. As a group we proceeded down to the school garden and, in a sunny afternoon, we released
the spiders, letting them go on parts of the stone walls of the school garden. The provers took great
delight in seeing the substance they had proved in action, jumping and darting on the wall and finding
a nook or crevice to go and hid in and it was a lovely ending to the day.
Whilst I was overjoyed at the success of the day and the amount of information that had been gleaned,
I had a lingering shadow of guilt at having to destroy one of these little spiders that I had grown to
love, as part of the process.
When I woke up the next morning, I felt extraordinarily lazy, almost teenage like – couldn’t be
bothered to get up and get dressed. It was a school day and I needed to drive my daughter to school
and then go to work myself. Somewhat out of character, I decided to do the morning run in my
pyjamas – a fluffy affair with black and white stripes it just so happened. Belatedly, after dropping of
my bemused daughter, I realised I had gone out without my house keys.
Running through options in my head, my only idea was to go to the office and pick up a set of keys
from there (my partner worked in the same office). Having got out of the car, fully realising my
predicament, I half crouched, half ran towards the office stairwell, darting and hiding behind bushes
on the way. Similarly up the stairs I ran, hyper alert in case I ran into anyone in my fashionable
pyjamas. On arriving at the door, no one was in yet. I hid and waited in a corner of the stairwell,
looking out for him to arrive when I would pounce out and announce myself and that I needed his
keys...
Only as I was driving home did I get the sense that the joke was on me. I realised I had just done a
very good impersonation of the spider. Subconsciously I think I needed to make a fool of myself to
get over my lingering sense of guilt and I imagined the spirit of the substance having a very good
laugh at my expense!
18
In the weeks that followed I seemed to see Zebra spiders everywhere, reminding me that the substance
was indeed very abundant.
Then followed what has been the most difficult and yet fascinating part of the process – collating the
information, synthesising it and writing it up.
As I say, the spirit of the substance seems to have following me throughout (at least, that’s my
excuse!) From having been through a period of incredible industriousness and efficiency in terms of
preparation and the proving itself, I then went through a period of a few months of inertia and almost
laziness about even picking up and starting to go through everything.
I decided one evening I needed to get cracking. Before I could do this I felt a strong inclination to
make a den. I found an old clothes horse and draped some material over it and constructed a little desk
behind this, which I felt I could hide behind and really get into the analysis. I decorated the “den” with
pictures of the spider and a little white board on which to write down themes etc. This might sound
like a certain amount of procrastination or eccentricity even, but it was again, out of character – I
don’t usually set up a den before getting down to some work! Incidentally, Zebra spins a little silk
case for itself in which to hide and sleep. It was only after I’d done this that I really was able to get
down to business - which is the repertory and themes sections that now follow (the serious stuff!).
19
3. The Remedy
The following repertory section incorporates the mind, physical and general symptoms from the
proving. Then follows section 3.2, which draws these symptoms into themes and 3.3 which gives an
synopsis or idea of the Remedy.
Coding information
- Each prover is referenced by an assigned number, 1 – 11, in brackets. But note there were
only 10 provers, Prover 7 is missing, as explained earlier (section 2, The Trituration).
- Two provers (5) and (10) knew what the substance was. The substance was not revealed to
the rest of the provers until the end of the proving.
- When a symptom was experienced by just one prover the rubric is listed in single type, where
two provers have experienced a symptom the rubric is italicised and where three or move
provers experienced a symptom the rubric is shown in bold type.
- Under the main rubrics I have included examples of expressions/text of the provers. At first
this was just for my reference purposes whilst going through the task of repertorising all the
information and converting it into rubrics but later on in the process of writing up, I felt it
made sense to leave the detail in – the information felt more alive and accessible than a “dry”
list of rubrics.
- Where I have included expressions of the provers under rubrics, I have also included a
reference to what round and level the expression was made e.g. prover 1, round 1, grind 1 is
shown as (1, C1, G1) or prover 2, round 2, scrape 3 (2, C2, S3). Initially I did this so I could
easily refer back to the relevant place in the text/notebooks but in the end I decided not to
delete the references as it was interesting in terms of synchronicity whether provers were
experiencing similar things at the same times in the proving.
- Where I have not been able to find an existing rubric in Essential Synthesis I have indicated
this by an asterix *
20
MIND
- (11) is looking out the window, dreaming? I’m looking into the bowl, dreaming (9 C2 G3)
- Day dreaming (2 C3 S5)
- Daydreaming – cannot stay in the present, its too noisy. (3 C3 G2)
Absorbed (2) (3) (5) (6) (8) (10) (11) (see also Introspection)
- Feel a bit anxious. Energy change again. Heart feels heavy/ anxious. (1 C1 S5)
- Heavy. Dark. Handprints on me. Anxious. (2 C1 G1)
- Don’t know if I’m going to like sensations of Rx. Stick with it as everything will be ok, I know it (4 C1 G4)
- I like the scraping – I can make patterns. This is where the change happens. Do not destroy – it is beautiful at last –
it is beautiful” (3 C2 S2)
21
- This is a kind remedy – something benevolent about it. He’s quiet. Profound, calm, thoughtfulness. Contemplation.
Such very dear people with me here – good women, we do this for the world. How many circles of women have
done this or similar before us – ancestors, out taking note from a distance. (11 C2 G4)
- Fighting the urge not to throw the bowl on the floor. (3 C1 G6)
- Made a face in my powder – smashed up – too ugly. (3 C1 S5)
- Desire to live in past. Maintain status quo. Too uncomfortable to move forward. Fears change. Too much
responsibility. Feels responsible for everything. Analyses everything. Desire to turn back time. (2 C1 G5)
- I don’t want to stop! I don’t want to move on. I don’t want to grow up and develop. (9 C2 G3)
- I don’t know where I am. I don’t want to have to catch up with them. Rush into the industrial age. I’d rather stay
with psora – slow and soft” (9 C2 G3)
- A song – “Happy talking, happy talk, talk about things do to”. (4 C2 G6)
- Feel good, happy. (8 C1 G2)
- Sparking, bright, tinkling energy, smiley, mischievious, softness, quick (1 C3 S6)
- Much lighter, relaxed. Smiley, happier, pure sunshine, light, WHITE (2 C2 G2)
- I’m happy. Intimacy and true connection at last. “Happy” Pharrell Williams. Happy at last. Rest easy now. Italian
Job complete! (2 C3 G6)
- There is a lot of joviality in the air. People laughing. Playful. Song “Love is in the air, everywhere I look around”
(4 C3 G4)
- So much lighter, feeling much more cheerful. Nice to have interaction. Outgoing (9 C3 G1)
22
Clarity of mind (3) (8)
- Noticed colour orange – too vibrant yet feels connected somehow. Colours of rug too bright. (5 C2 S4)
Colours, white, desire for (1)(2) (5) (6) (9) (10) (11)
- Thoughts of snow. (6 C2 S2) Fjords, whiteness. Experiencing quiet, blankness...looking up – noticing the white
wall. (6 C2 G3). White nothingness. (6 C2 S3). White, shining, peace. (6 C2 G6)
- Soft, gentle, soft white powder. (9 C2 G5)
- Strong sense of being enveloped in WHITE – like a tent falling on me – very pleasant. I can see white birds flying
in flock but spread out – they are big and slender – beautiful. (11 C1 S6)
- White/ billowy. Smooth, round, clean, happy, fresh (1 C3 G1)
- Pure sunshine, light, WHITE (2 C3 G2); dark brown husk, hairy, strong dark ropes.
- Puffs of white cloud (2 C3 G3)
- Quiet, in my space. White linen cocooned around me (10 C3 G6)
- “Coil” – I was stuck in a Mr Whippy coil. (9 C1)
- Feel I want to use colours, especially red. (4 C1 S3) Feel the need to get a red crayon. Don’t know why though. (4
C2 S3)
- On my own, but not alone, contented. Doing my own thing – not answering to anyone. At last, I can be myself,
who I need to be. (3 C2 S6)
- Don’t need anyone – quite happy on my own. Contented (4 C3 S1)
- Detached, alone – OK (6 C3 G3)
Polarity:
- Prover 4 also experienced “want to talk to people. Had enough of silence. Sociable creature” (4 C2 S6)
- Nice to have interaction; outgoing (9 C3 G1)
A feeling of being on the outside, alone, solitude yet not lonely (5 C1). (see also Delusions, outcast, she were).
23
- Concentrating on the grinding – the white powder, the process. (6 C1 G5)
- Very intent on what I’m doing. (10 C2 G2)
Conscientious about trifles (observer, detail of everything in) (3) (4) (9) (10) (11)
- I don’t want to scrape, the pattern is too beautiful to spoil. Sad my neat pattern is being destroyed. (3 C1 S2)
- Very into scraping. Trying for perfection. (3 C2 S2) Creating a masterpiece” (3 C2 G5)
- Very proud of my little bowl” (6 C2 S1)
- Scraping – like exploring the past, an archaeological dig. What’s under this? I’d like to do it gently, like
archaeologists: using a brush rather than a scraper. (9 C2 S3)
- I can’t move my chair but want to move it – otherwise my powders will fall over. (10 C2 S6)
- (9)’s gone out – shall I empty her sac lac envelope – feel I must not touch it. (11 C2 S3)
Polarity:
- Grinding and scraping: I wonder if I’m doing it right? But it doesn’t matter. Its only an exercise, a practice. Its not
as if somebody’s life would depend on it. No real gravitas. Not an exam! (9 C3 S3)
Contrary (2) (3) (5) (9) (see also Capricious; Disobedience; Rebellious)
24
Counting (3) (10)
Dancing (3) (9) (10) (see also Generals -Motion – desire for)
- Blinding white light spiralling up. Too bright. Desires Dark. Safety in dark. (2 C2 S2)
- Darkness, lie down in the dark and not be talked to, desire for. (5)
- + dark – desire to sleep. Darkness = numbness, no joy. Rigid, Black. Going through the motions (5 C1)
Deceitful (1)
Defiant (9)
- (4) looks around as if she wants to check us out and challenge us. I feel defiant (9 C3 G2)
Delusions
- Fire in the distance – destructive, death, rescue them. White, strong, shining. Groans, death. (6 C2 G5)
- Go – flying over the frozen wastes – sun shining brightly. A small speck in the whiteness. Flying in the sky. The
beating wings. Large black bird, beside it. Follow the remedy. (6 C2 S6)
25
- A quest. Sit up straight....Feel strong, grounded. Ready to go on. A quest. Seek and ye shall find. A mission.
Conquest. Powerful, strong, certain. Fixed certainty. (6 C2 G4)
- On a quest” (6 C2 S4)
- A quest – looking into envelope. Shamanic journeying. Onward. Follow the remedy, wherever it takes us. Help
along the way. My phone – no charge. Cut off. Cut off is fine – more energy for the quest. Focus. Where are we?
Go on. Racing along – must move on. Seeking. Alive. Fleeing? Help someone, got to save them. (6 C2 G5)
- Feel as though what I’m thinking and writing will be totally different to others – not as good or important. (4 C1
S4)
- Outsider” (5 C1 G1)
- Outsider feeling returns. Different – not belonging. Outcast. Not wanted. Alone. I don’t fit in. Out of rhythm with
everybody. (5 C1 G4)
- Feel like the remedy has left me behind. I’m surplus to requirements. (3 C3 G2)
Polarity:
- Frozen waters, colourfully dressed people – wearing tunics. Taking us in, protecting us, friendly. Feeling of
warmth towards them – unity. Warmth – physical. (6 C2 S4)
- Togetherness; achieving something important together; tribal even. Light, airy (1 C3 G1)
- Need to protect my pack. Growling, biting, baring teeth (2 C3 S1)
Delusions – separated – body: mind are separated; body and (3) (9)
- I can hear music, from far far away, soft gentle – a hum in my head but far far away. (3 C1 G4)
- Lullaby singing in the distance. (3 C2 G4)
- Tinkling sounds – like bells on reindeer pulling a sleigh. (6 C2 S4)
- On my way in (to WSH) this morning – sense of chaos – traffic, roadworks. Feeling of being outside of something
as I walk in the sunshine. Am I the only one? Am I late? (11)
- Bigness! (1 C1 G3)
26
- Felt tall, like looking down from afar (8 C1)
- Looking in through window. Dread. Something not nice. Heart thumping a bit. (1 C2 G3) (Also Fear)
- Fjords, whiteness. Lost in oblivion – feels fine. Experiencing quiet, blankness. The glaciers falling into the sea –
the world being destroyed. An icy threat. Deep breaths. The future. Peoples’ cries. Death, destruction? Large sea
creatures living on. (6 C2 G3)
- HOPE, hope, hope. Frozen wastes. Quest. Keep going on. Is there a point? (6 C2 S5)
- Dark, death, destruction, piercing, shining, despair. (6 C3 G1)
- Despair of recovery. Nothing. Death. (6 C2 S5)
Polarity:
Polarity:
- I like the scraping – I can make patterns. This is where the change happens. Do not destroy – it is beautiful at last –
it is beautiful. (3 C2 S3)
27
- Nothing comes up – no feelings, no images. Mechanistic. Boring (9 C3 G2) (see also Ennui)
- Determined. (1 C2 S6)
- Weary at the start. Coming to an end. Keep on going. Be strong. Don’t be distracted from the path (6 C3 G4)
- Is there anything left? The vicissitudes of life, must rest sometimes. But never give up! Until death to us part. Keep
going (6 C3 G5)
- How awful to have ADHD in school and feel forced to behave / to conform / to have no individuality/ to not be
able to be myself. (5 C2 G6)
Polarity:
- They’re all so dutiful and obedient. (11 C2 S1)
- Overwhelmed with emotion (2 C1 G1) Cried 10 minutes into my journey/drive here today. Walking from car park
to WSH. Thought heart attack going to happen. So breathless. Major sobs on arriving at WSH, gasping for air.
(11) settled me. Crying with emotion, totally overwhelmed emotionally
- Emotional feelings (6 C1 G1)
- Burst of emotion, almost tears – but gone quickly (10 C3 G3)
Emotions, wanting * (5) (6) (9) (see also Thinking, analytical; Detached)
- Desire for intimacy. Don’t know how to relate. Aching heart. (2 C2 S3)
- Aching in my belly to love and be loved. (2 C2 G4) (see also Delusions; alone, being)
- Thinking about my son who is away. Want to send him something to say I’m thinking of him. (4 C1 S4)
- Dreams of INTIMACY, REAL CONNECTION, touch, to be held safely; from the film Avatar – “I see you” (2 C3
G2)
Euphoria (8)
28
- With a sense of skeletal alignment; a feeling of euphoria, smiling, felt high up but not tall.
- Sadness – dark, heavy, low energy, dread (1 – C1) / Light, airy, fluffy, fun, energetic, peaceful, bubbly high
energy, joyful, upbeat (1 – C3)
- Exciting – big and shiny – twinkling diamonds fell into my bowl. (3 C2 G3)
Escape, attempts to (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (9) (10) (Freedom)
- I need all the powder to come off the sides – its annoying me, that I can’t get it all off. Need the pile of powder to
be completely neat and tidy in a circle. Not as tidy as I want it. (3 C1 S1)
- So important to get the correct pattern in the powder” (3 C2 S1) Neat, tidy, ordered” (3 C2 S5)
- Not fastidious re cleaning it perfectly – but loving the patterns. Drawn to the pattern (5 C1 S1)
- Realise my table is the wrong way round and can’t get legs in. Everybody elses’ is right. Table seems too far away.
(5 C1 G4). Had to move table round. (5 C1 G4)
- Want to create patterns – see sequences. Desire unusual symmetry but without perfection. (5 C2 G4)
- I want to be neat on my table, but the wobbliness of it doesn’t sit right. (9 C1 G5)
- Need to make a neat pile in lower right quarter of bowl (3 C3 S1)
NOTE: Prover 5 in particular noted a need for symmetry. Prover 3 felt a strong desire for pattern and not wanting to
disturb the pattern of the sac lac in her mortar. In considering choice of rubrics, I would have preferred to find a
rubric more specific to need for symmetry than “fastidiousness”.
Fear
- Not fearful – just survival of species? What I’m here to do. My role in the group. (5 C2 G5)
- Be aware. Danger. Be sure. Work not done. Hope. Salvation. It will happen again, be alert to it. Ready and
waiting. Go out, seek survivors. A quest. Be apart, be aware, be ready. (6 C2 G6)
29
- Destruction. Fear. Madness. Tears. Sadness. Horror. To save, saviour. Death, destruction, Strong, shining, save –
where is the enemy? Who is the enemy? (6 C2 S5)
- Don’t want to be looked at, don’t like being seen, want to be invisible – in a shroud of grey mist – an invisibility
cloak “I am not here” – I am just observing- SEEING BUT NOT SEEN (5 C1 G5)
- Desires hugs. To beg cared for / nurtured. (2 C2 G2) Aching all over for love, intimacy. So afraid of it! (2 C2 S2)
- Love. Someone calling, needing me (1 C2 G1)
Grimaces (10)
- Making faces. (10 C1 S1) Pulling faces with my lips. (10 C1 G3)
Polarity:
30
- Light hearted (2 C3 G1)
- Would love to tip the table over and run out of the door and hide. (5 C1 G5)
- Thinking about lunch. Thank goodness only one round to go – come on, lets speed up. Impatient to finish. (5 C2
S5)
- Want to get on with this. Want lunch. Hungry. (10 C2 S4)
- Impatient – restless (3 C3 S2)
- Impatient for this to end (10 C3 S3)
31
- Grinding was soft. This is very more energetic, business-like. (9 C1 S1)
- Sit up straight. From dream to reality, to work. (9 C1 S3)
- No emotion, just getting on with the job!! Detached. (9 C2 G1)
- Purposeful movements. Everybody is scraping, like in an old apothecary, preparing powders. (9 C2 S4)
- Getting very intent on the grinding. (10 C1 G2)
- Much more focussed now on keeping my chart accurately. (11 C2 G4)
- It is very satisfying to scratch it all up and together. And it sounds as if everyone is enjoying it (9 C3 S2)
Polarity:
- What is the point of this? Its getting on my nerves. I’ve got better things to do than this (3 C3 S3)
Irresolution (2)
Irritability – looked at (9) (see also Looked at, cannot bear to be)
- I don’t want to be looked at. Its none of their business. < irritability. (9 C2 G4)
- Too noisy. Shut the fuck up. I can’t hear myself think! (2 C2 G3)
- Wish (X) would stop snivelling. (4 C1 G1)
- Noise of pestle against mortar annoying me – grating on my nerves. (4 C1 G6)
- They are so harsh with their stuff – too noisy! Irritability, < noise. (9 C2 G4)
- Distracted by very loud noise of pestle on mortar. I want to shout “shut up – I can’t think” (3 C3 S1)
- Before starting desire to hide in toilet and jump out at (X) and make her jump!!” (5 C2 G1)
- The powder is going right up the sides, like it wants to come out. It jumps out and is hard to wipe off. (9 C1 G6)
- Powder jumping out (8 C3 G5)
NOTE: references to jumping and one prover wanting to “jump out” at someone
32
- Aware of others laughing (8 C3 G4)
- Laughter – (5) stone from her shoe nearly fell in bowl (observation by prover 10)
- Still have spider energy (recorded after proving) – went to see homeopath who also does Bowen therapy and we
were both giggling and laughing silly (4).
- Desire to laugh – very impulsive. (5 C1 G2)
Polarity:
- Making eye contact with provers. (10 C1 S1) Catching eyes, laughing” (10 C2 G1)
- I look up around at everyone, no one sees me looking. (10 C2 G5)
- + to communicate by catching people’s eye (5 C3 G4)
- Wanting to catch (11)’s eye – laughing (10 C3 G4)
- Looking right at you. Connection. Meeting you/me. Can you talk to me? Telepathy? (10 C3 G5)
- Looking at everyone – everyone is engrossed, not smiling. Wish people would lighten up! Smile more ☺ (4 C1 S1)
- (9)’s eyes moving side to side – everybody watching her. (5 C2 G3)
- I keep looking up at people – observing them (10 C2 S1)
- On way home from Carmarthen after proving reached roundabout without realising how I got there. Journey flew
by and can’t honestly remember getting there. There seemed to be a gap in my memory. Would get to a part of
dual carriageway and not aware of how I got there. Time when very quickly (4) (see also: Time)
- Recalling incident in shop last week buying new phone and had a blank of about 10 to 20 seconds when couldn’t
remember check out assistant having rung up my items (10).
33
- Want to make small, quite, gentle movements. (5 C1 S6)
Mirth – alternating – seriousness (1) (4) (6) (see also Mood, alternating)
- Feels split in two = the good girl who always does the right thing and the naughty girl who wants to be
mischievous, destructive. (3 C1 S6)
- Feel like naughty school girl. (6 C1 S2)
- Prover 11 + to poke prover 9 – giggles. Countdown to stop.
(Prover 5 observing prover 11 go to poke prover 9 with a biro – 5 C3 G3)
- Feeling naughty, nothing else happening so may as well have some fun. Giggling. (11) wants to poke me!
Childish/teenage fun (9 C3 G3)
- Desire to poke (9) gently – not nasty (11 C3 G3)
- I’m left handed but I keep wanting to use my right – I have no control. (3 C1 S3)
- Have to think hard to name Right and Left correctly. (9 C1 G6)
34
- (9)’s not ready! Start anyway (observation by Prover 11, C3 G3)
- I jumped up quickly, thinking need to get more powders – wrong round! (10 C3 S2)
- They think I’ve said “stop” – I haven’t (11 C3 G3)
- TIME! (11 C3 S3)
- Wasted a few seconds pressing the wrong button (11 C3 G4)
- I’m ready for once! (9 C3 S3)
- I can’t remember how to grind – do I use the skittle or the wand? (3 C2 G5)
I felt like a child who can’t think of the right name for something so makes it up (3)
- Fixated on what is in the bowl – want to smell it and taste it – I don’t. (3 C1 S6)
- Concentrating on scraping – nothing else. (6 C1 S6)
- Flitting between moods – Tired/lethargic, Laughing/playful, No balanced state. Tired yet alert. Marked
changeability. (5 C2 S6)
- Serious. (6 C1 S6) Hilarity again. (6 C2 G1)
- At one with process.....Don’t feel as good. Thoughts wandering and jumping around. Feeling pulled into activity.
(8 C1 G4)
- Desire for loud music / rhythm to “head bang” to, want to get “off my head”. Don’t like doing what’s expected of
me. (5 C2 G6)
- Drumming to call him in (2 C3 S5)
- Wanting to make “ding” sound with pestle and mortar. (10 C2 G4)
- (X) shoots off like teacher’s pet. (5) looks pissed off and on strike! (9 C3 S5)
- I’m still looking round – observing people (10 C3 S1)
- (9)’s eyes moving side to side. Everybody watching her. Observant/being observed (5 C2 G3)
- “All seeing” – but not wanting to be seen (5, C1)
- (X) looking very superior. (4 C1 G3)
35
- The substance likes to climb high up in the bowl, teasing me “Catch me”. (9 C1 S1)
- Feeling quite playful – could be the coffee. (11 C2 S1)
- Playing with it – like unwanted food (3 C3 S4)
- This remedy has been here a long time – it is playful (4 C3 G2)
- Playful. Giggly (5 C3 G4)
- Playful – spilling powder everywhere (10 C3 S3)
- The road is heavy. Carry on, lightning speed. Silver. Coming back to life. The cycle. Ready to start all over again.
Continual and continuous. Never ending. Keep going. Be alert (6 C3 S6)
- Closing my eyes. Waiting room. Waiting to die. Waiting for (11) to call time (10 C3 G6)
- Don’t like conforming. – Doing what I’m told. The rebel. The trickster. Want to have fun, to challenge, be artful.
The Artful Dodger. (5 C2 G6)
- A “fuck you” defiance (3 C3 S4)
36
- I don’t want to play catch up any more, I want to be present. (3 C1 G4)
- Feel disabled and immature. (3 C1 G6)
- Feel a bit sad / down. (1 C1 G5) Low energy. Trying to cheer up though. (1 C1 S6)
Feel very sad. Tears in eyes (1 C2 S4)
- No joy. Dark, heavy, stuck. (2 C1 S5) Heavy hearted. (2 C2 G2)
- Long held grief needs to escape. (3 C1 S2)
- Half the class serious. (4 C1 G2)
- Sudden thoughts of sadness, starting with others - then mine. Eyes feel tearful but don’t cry. (8 C2 S4)
- Feeling sad, tearful – thinking about substance. Doesn’t last long.. (10 C2 S2)
- Yawning – is this sadness creeping up on me, its all vey amorphous. (11 C2 G5)
- I’m being vey controlled but I want to bash the pessel into the mortar – bash bash bash. (3 C1 G6)
- Resisting urge to blow. (3 C1 G5)
- Sensitive to criticism. No bad intention – not meaning to be naughty. Feeling misunderstood. Why don’t people
like me? Why are people threatened by me? (5 C2 G6)
- Room too bright / sounds too loud / smells too strong. (5 C1 G5)
- Sensitivity to light and noise. Feeling overwhelmed re: vision and hearing (5 C1 G2)
- Its getting light outside. (9 C1 S6)
- (11) tapping hands together like music. Felt like pestle and mortar making music. Me and (11) in unison” (4 C2
G6)
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- Tings! Liking the sound of people tingling their pestles and mortars – musical. (10 C2 G2)
- Humming (11) – calming, soothing. (10 C2 G3)
Sensitive, noise, to (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (8) (9) (10)
Sensitive, noise, to – painful sensitiveness to (1) (2) (4) (5) (8) (9) (10)
Sensitive, noise, to: shrill sounds, to (4) (5) (6) (8) (9)
- Acute hearing – painful almost. All sounds – especially high sounds. (4 C2 G3)
- Jarring noise – sharp. (5 C1 G4)
- Very aware of the sound. Made me laugh – the clatter. (6 C2 G1)
- Sharp noises. (8 C2 G1)
- So sensitive to high pitch noises. (9 C2 G3)
- Am very aware of people and their movements and moods and attire. (4 C2 G4)
- Feeling sensitive to the energy of others – outsider. (5 C1 G1)
- Aware of everyone around me. (10 C1 G3) Watching everybody, their movements. (10 C2 G4)
- Very aware of others (8 C3 S2)
- Like Rhythm, want to sway with [X]’s rhythm next to me. (5 C2 G6)
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- Concentrating on the process. Rhythm. Plodding. Mind free to think. Soothing motion. Mesmeric. Soothing.
Rhythm of life. Cows in the field, sunny day. Homestead harvest. The pace of life. (6 C1 S5) (also Gen – motion,
amel)
- Want to scrape in rhythm with the other provers – hilarity. (6 C2 S1)
- The bangs sound rhythmical. (6 C2 G3)
- Fast scraping, rhythmical. (10 C1 S6)
- We need some rhythm – thought (4) had it but its gone. (11 C2 G6)
- Feel like I’m synchronising my grinding momentarily (8 C3 G5)
- Noise of ticking clock is soothing (10 C3 G6)
- I’m very aware of the room clock (11 C3 G3)
- Thick and slow. Gloppy. Deep (1 C1 G3) Slow – movements feel slow (1 C2 G2)
- Slow – sloth pace (2 C1 G3) SLOW STIFF RIGID STUCK. Mobility restricted, bound (2 C1 G5)
- I feel so slow. (3 C1 S4)
- Slowly, slowly does it, no need to rush. (3 C2 G4)
- God, (2) is grinding slowly! (4 C1 G3)
- Have slowed down. (4 C1 G2)
- Need to slow down in all aspects of life and grinding. Close eyes. (4 C2 G3)
- I want to go slow, steady, round and round. (9 C2 G3)
- Slowly – carefully, there you go (3 C3 G4)
- I like this feeling – a bit spaced out, not quite here. Loving the grinding sounds. (4 C1 G2)
- Feeling spacey / light headed. (5 C2 G5)
- Heady. (6 C1 G1) Spaced out feeling. (6 C1 G2) Light hearted, hot, spaced out feeling in head. (6 C1 G3)
- Drifting off – spacing out. (8 C2 S5)
- It feels quite good safe to be stuck with physical symptoms. Good to have a physical body, rather than drifting off.
(9 C2 S2)
- It is safe to get lost in the round and round – safe, pleasant, dizziness. (9 C2 G4)
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- I’m getting a bit heady – its very unspecific, sort of blurry, foggy. (11 C2 G5)
- Inclination to drift off, detached. Suddenly feel serious – where will this take us. I’m back in the group. (11 C2 G3)
- Drugged (6 C3 S1)
- He’s getting a bit cannabis indica (11 C3 G4)
- Very dry throat – feels like a lump at back of it – kind of feel its to do with communication or inability to
communicate (throat chakra). (1)
- In break – difficulty getting my words out. (5 – break time between C1 and C2)
Polarity:
- Thinking about words, patterns, communication. Word games, “Just a minute”, scrabble, WWW. Communication.
Hearing voices in dream last night – (5 C2 S2)
- Staring at people’s feet. (10 C2 S1) Staring at ceiling light, top corner. (10 C2 G3)
- Staring at detail - wood grain on floor at a distance. (10 C2 S3)
Stupefaction (9)
- Feel can see 360 degrees – to see behind me. Suspicious? (5 C2 G3) (see also Vision – peripheral)
- Keep hearing noise – think someone is trying to get in. (11 C2 G5)
- Feel someone is trying to come in through the door (11 C3 G6)
- Analyses everything. (2 C1 G5) Crumbling, dry, cracked. Split. No fluidity. So analytical. (2 C1 G6)
- Feel I must jump to my feet (same sort of feeling as waking up last night). (11 C2 S1)
- Feeling I will do things unbidden – my body ahead of my thoughts. (11 C2 S2)
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- Thoughts drifting to past events and family (8 C3 G3)
- I feel thoughtful but don’t know what I’m thinking about. (11 C2 S3)
- Contemplation. Profound calm thoughtfulness. (11 C2 G4)
- No thought? An immaturity of thought? No need for thought because all is provided? (9 C3 G5)
- Go straight to the thinking/no thinking place. I mean I feel as if I’m thinking but I’m not thinking about anything!
(11 C3 G1)
- Overthinking. Trying too hard. Mind gone blank. (5 C2 G4) Overthinking / blank thoughts. Empty headed. (5 C2
G5)
- I can’t think of anything if I try to. (11 C2 G6)
Time – quickly, appears shorter; passes too (1) (4) (5) (8) (10) (11)
- Do it quickly before someone stops me. Time is pressing – feel like need to get it done in time (1 C2 G5)
- Time passed quick. (8 C1 G1)
- Time is going faster. (11 C1 G4)
- Am getting absorbed by time and thoughts thereof – checking my stopwatch against the clock. I think the clock is
going faster. Nearly pressed it (stopwatch) at three minutes – but didn’t (11 C3 S2)
- Time went very quickly (4) (noted by Prover 4 on driving home from WSH) (see also: Memory, weakness)
- “If I could have time in a bottle, the first thing that I’d like to do, is to spend every day, ‘till eternity passes away, I
would spend it with you. But there never seems to be enough time to do the things that you want to do, when you
find them” (10 C3 G3)
Time – slowly, appears longer; passes too (1)(3) (5) (8) (10) (11)
- Doing it to my own rhythm not everybody else’s – late starting – IN MY OWN TIME” (5 C1 S5)
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- Need to be gentle, powder doesn’t want to be touched (3 C3 G4)
- Cold, Tired. Desire to end it all. For Dark, quiet, stillness. But then thoughts invade. (2 C2 S5)
- Am I tired of life? Feel serious and weary. (6 C1 S6)
Polarity:
- Feels split in two – the good girl who always does the right thing and the naughty girl who wants to be
mischievous and destructive. (3 C1 S6)
VERTIGO
Note: Many provers complained of dizziness particularly prominent during Round 1 (C1), sometimes accompanied by
nausea. There does not seem to be a specific rubric match for “dizziness”, so the rubric “Vertigo” is used.
- Felt a bit light headed. (4 C1 G1) Head feels a bit dizzy. (4 C1 G2)
- Feel a bit light headed. (8 C1 G1)
- Dizziness” (9 C1 G1)
- Head a bit dizzy. (10 C1 S2)
- Still dizzy, but not spaced out. But who wouldn’t be dizzy with all this grinding and scraping! (9 C3 G5)
- Spinning – vertigo. (5 C1 G4)
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- Dizzy already before starting. Fear of nausea, that I may throw up. (9 C2 G1)
HEAD
- Front / top of head – coolness almost like a band around head. (8 C1 G3)
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Itching, of scalp, spots (9)
- Itchy head, side (right), little spot. Now more to top right side. (9 C1 G3)
- Itchy spots on head (back) and face. (9 C1 S6)
- Still itchy spot on head, left, near left ear. (9 C2 G1)
- Remember the talk about nits and itching this morning. Can see nits dancing and sliding down hair – in my mind.
(4 C1 G3)
- Back of my head and upper neck feel tense. I’d like to really lean back (9 C3 G4)
- Headache – ish. Over right temple and behind right eye (1 C2 G2)
- Pain behind eyes (6 C3 G2)
- Pressure sensation top of head, sensation of a nail or similar coming back (9 C3 S3)
- Pressure sensation top of head quite sharp, like something pointy pressing into it, < all the noise, the high pitch
noises. (9 C2 S1)
- Pressure sensation head back left side, like a lump or ball. It went in at the back and then settled left side nose in
the sinus / bone area. (9 C1 G4)
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- Tense and pressure back of head. (9 C2 G4)
Other sensations:
EYE
- A lot of “me” stuff coming up. A small cataract on right eye (4 C3 S2)
Closing the eyes, desire to (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (8) (9) (10) (11)
- To curl up and sleep / close eyes. Eyes like slits – sensitivity to light and noise. (5 C1 G2)
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Darkness amel (5)
- Eyes dry. < Trying to look in bowl to see where it needs scraping. (9 C1 S2)
- (9)’s eyes moving side to side – everybody watching her. (observation by 5 C2 G3)
- (10) your eyes are flickering and your body is moving to the rhythm of the grinding (observation by 4 C3 G4)
- Pain in left eye. Is this remedy becoming a left sided remedy also? (4 C3 S4)
Photophobia (5)
Strained (2)
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Twitching (8)
Winking (8)
VISION
- Closed my eyes and stretched and couldn’t really see when opening again (9 C3 G3)
Worse motion:
- Its the fast movement that seems to highlight that my vision is blurred. (9 C1 S5)
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- My vision seems as hazy as the powder in the bowl. (9 C1 G4)
- Right eye hazy again (9 C3 G1)
- Room seems full of sort of mist when I open my eyes or is it my vision? (11 C3 S5)
Hair hung before the sight and must be wiped away, as if (9)
- See black hairs in bowl – on further inspection actually none there!! Dark lines in bowl keep appearing on first
opening eyes. (5 C1 G3)
- Vision with eyes closed of the world with all its longitude and latitude line clearly seen. (5 C1 G3)
- Occasionally I see a black dot in my bowl, and I quickly rub it out, so it is covered up again. From psora to
sycosis. (9 C2 G4) (see also: Mind – Hiding)
- The black spot in the powder is back. This time I’m feeling curious (9 C3 G1)
- Another black blob in the powder, almost like a little beetle! (9 C3 G3)
Sparks (2)
EAR
- Right ear sensation fullness, pressure, as if water in it. Fiddling with it (pressing fingers on it) made it feel as if
liquid was coming from it. (9 Breaktime between C1 and C2) (see also Water; sensation of)
- Right ear still sensation of fullness. (9 C2 G1)
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- Right ear sensation of a kind of pressure. In the ear and the bone in front. Waiting for new powder to add. The
pressure in right ear is easing. Like air is getting into it. (9 C1 S2)
- Prover 5 woke in the night, left ear felt like plastic. Throbbing. > lying on it. (5)
- Right ear like a blockage under the ear, an air bubble stuck. (9 C1 G6)
- Sensation of pressure Right ear as if stopped. But I think I can hear. (9 C1 G6)
HEARING
- Not hearing clearly human voice yet other sounds crystal clear – a vibration. (5 C2 G2)
NOSE
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- Post nasal drip, feels quite thick. (9 C2 G3)
- (6) is sniffing a lot! And coughing. I have started sniffing a lot. (5) is coughing. (4 C1 G2)
- Sniffing. (6 C1 G1)
Twitching (4)
FACE
- Right. (4 C1 G6)
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- Right side, by mouth. (4 C1 S1)
- Itching face / arms especially around nose and eyes. (5 C1 G2)
- Itch side face (left) near eye. (9 C1 G2)
- Itchy spots on head (back) and face. (9 C1 S6)
- Left upper eyelid, itch. (10 C1 S3)
- Itchy face, right side (3 C3 S1)
- Right. (3 C1 S5)
- Right, lower (8 C1 S3)
- Right jaw joint, sensation of a bubble, like maybe a gland swollen there. (9 C1 G4)
MOUTH
Dryness (2) (8) (9)
- Mouth feels like its got loads of saliva – keep swallowing and clearing throat. (1 C1 G2)
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- Tongue feels big and wooly. (1 C2 G4)
Ulcers (9)
- Its a bit as if I’ve bitten the inside of my mouth or like a little ulcer. (9 C1 G4)
- Woke up in morning 18/04/16 (day after proving) with a huge ulcer on left underneath side of tongue. The ulcer
was huge, white with red raised edges - classic ulcer, but almost gone by 20/04/16. Unusual for me, they normally
last for five days. (3)
TEETH
Grinding (10)
- Left jaw, upper, odd sensation in teeth (molar) like when you bite tin foil with a filling. Makes that side of the
face/cheek feel a bit enlarged. Sensation in all molars upper left. (9) (see also Face – swelling, toothache)
- Tooth pain, left upper in the jaw joint, need to move my jaw, wriggle it. (9 C1 G4)
- Pain in jaw above teeth, left upper quite sharp – in a definite spot. (9 C1 G4)
THROAT
Catarrh (9)
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Dryness (1) (2) (8) (9)
- Back of throat felt fry, needed to clear it. Very dry throat. (1)
- Dryness in back of throat. (8 C1 G1)
- Scratchy dry throat < left. (9 C1 S4)
Itching (6)
Itching – posterior nares (5)
Lump, sensation of a (1) (8) (9)
- Very dry throat – feels like a lump at back of it – kind of feel its to do with communication or inability to
communicate (1 C1 G2)
- Lump in throat. (9 C2 G1)
- Lump in back of throat, left side (8 C3 G4)
- The lump in throat is back. Frustrating and irritating (9 C3 S1)
- Lump in bloody throat! (9 C3 S4)
Pain
Pain – ache
- Heartburn – now up into my throat. Terrific heartburn, heartfelt heartburn. (11 C2 S4)
STOMACH
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Anxiety (1) (4)
- Anxiousness moved down to solar plexus/stomach. Need to go to the loo. Dark, deep water. (1 C1 G6) Churning –
anticipation in stomach. Worry (1 C2 S3). Anxious in stomach . Something not right and dreading it. (1 C2 G4)
- Feeling in pit of stomach of anxiety. (4 C1 S3)
- Colly wobbles in stomach – anxiety. (4 C2 G4)
- The table is moving side ways and I can see others’ table moving sideways too. Bit of nausea, almost like sea
sickness. (9 C1 G1)
- Nausea still ongoing. > not looking into bowl but closing eyes. (9 C2 G2)
- Nausea but when I close my eyes then I can see all the swirling round of all the pestles in the room. (9 C2 G2)
- Nausea when I change direction. < wobbly table. Holding the bowl on my lap. But I can see so many people’s
tables wobbly. Waves at Sea!...Nausea strong, << looking into the bowl, << seeing motion. Thank god we’ve
stopped. (9 C2 G2)
- The slightly nauseas feeling is moving up to a sensation of a lump in the throat, slightly below the larynx. (9 C1
G2)
- Lump in throat really strong and nausea – ready to vomit? (9 C2 S2)
- Slightly queasy sensation – rising into my throat. (11 C1 G1)
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Pain – aching (3)
Pain – burning (9)
Thirst (5)
Thirstless (2)
Thirstless, accompanied by – mouth, dryness of (2)
ABDOMEN
- Like wind moving through my bowels, down left side abdomen. (9 C1 G3)
Movements in (11)
RECTUM
Constipation (2)
Dragging, heaviness, weight (11)
URINARY
Urging to urinate (1) (9) (10) (2)
“Urge/frequency to urinate” (2 C2 G6)
MALE
Notes: All provers were female; unsurprisingly there were no symptoms under this section to speak of.
FEMALE
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- Pulling inwards. (3 C2 S4)
Arousal* (9)
RESPIRATION
- Can take a deep breath, like I have not been able to in months. (3 C1 G1)
- Breathlessness. (2 C1 G1)
- I’m drowning – not scared, but I need air. (3 C1 S3)
- Tight band across my back and chest. I can’t breathe again. Resistance, reluctance, negative (3 C3 S6)
- I’m drowning – not scared, but I need air.(3)
Sighing (2)
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- Deep yawn – more air going in. (3 C1 S1)
- Bit dizzy – yawning – need some air. (4 C1 G5)
- Air hunger – yawning. (5 C2 G5)
Lots of dry coughing, dry throats. Dry tickly coughs, raw burning sensation. (General feedback after Round 1)
CHEST
Anxiety (1)
- Anxiety again – feel it in chest – tight chest (1 C2 G2) Unease – heart feels quite anxious. (1 C2 G6)
Constriction (2)
- Pain in my heart – strong ache in waves. Shallow breathing. + pressure on heart. (5 C1 G2)
Palpitations (4)
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BACK
Compression (2)
- Right side back twinges, moving position in spots – feel like my twisted spine is straightening. (3 C1 G1)
- Want to straighten back. (10 C2 S1)
- Humpback / hunchback. Weight of world on it. (3 G3 G5)
- Can take a really deep breath, like I have not been able to for months. (3 C1 G1) (concomitantly with back
straightening)
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Pain – dorsal region – scapulae, between – aching (3)
Perspiration (6)
- Neck really tight, could go into aching, need to stretch and wriggle. (9 C2 G1)
Sensation
Leaning* (1)
Alignment*
EXTREMITIES
Notes: A large rubric was Incoordination. It was such a large rubric I would also have like to have found a similar rubric
under Generals. See also Mind, confusion.
Prover 9 experienced a very strange sensation in her legs, as if she could “hear” sounds through her legs, by
vibration. I have put this under Sensitive, legs – but I’m not sure that it fully covers it!
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- Limbs feel heavy. (6 C2 G1)
Polarity:
- Multi-tasking – I can write and scrape at same time. (10 C2 S5)
- Happy to use both hands (I’m right handed). (8 C3 G2)
- Stabbing. (2 C2 G6)
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alert mode. My sense of sound and vibration was so acute. Intruder threat was uppermost in my mind, that’s
why I checked the front door was locked a few times! (2)
- (10) is banging her bowl and I can feel the vibration in my left leg – my leg is picking up the movements / bangs in
the room.” (9 C2 G2) (see also – Mind, sensitive, noises to)
Tingling (9)
- Feel tingly all over, a kind of charged up feeling, like a coil being tightened. (9 C2 G2)
- The friction in the bowl is the same feeling as I had in my leg earlier. (9 C2 G6)
- Feel very still inside but notice both legs twitching. (5 C1 G6)
Sensation:
SLEEP
Comatose (9)
- I close my eyes and its like a part of me goes to sleep – a brain sleep. But then something is still awake, like the
shell is awake whilst the core is asleep. Its really difficult to open my eyes again, because the core that should give
the command is asleep, and the shell is waiting but can’t do it without the command. Coma? (9 C3 G6)
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Sleepiness, overpowering (Narcolepsy) (2) (3) (8) (9)
- I feel so slow – I’m so tired. I want to sleep and sleep and sleep. My mind is no longer in control. Sleep is needed
now! (3 C1 S4)
- A lullaby, being rocked to sleep. Everybody is yawning. Soporific. Overwhelming desire to close eyes. I could just
go to sleep. What if? Warm and comfy. Curl up like a cat, on top of the oven. (9 C2 G5)
- Want to sleep, peace, quiet. TOO LOUD!!! Yawning, too tired, need to rest, I want my bed. (2 C3 S4)
- So so sleepy again (3 C3 G6)
- Feel very tired leaning forward, almost like I could fall into bowl head first (8 C3 S5)
Sleeplessness (2)
- So heavy and tired and yet so alert at the same time. (5 C1 S6)
- The little itches are waking me up, keeping me awake, so I don’t drift off completely. (9 C2 G6)
Yawning – sleepiness, during (1) (2) (3) (4) (2) (9) (11)
- Yawn – feel very tired, can’t stop yawning. (1 C2 G3) Can’t stop yawning, feel very sleepy (1 C3 S5)
- Yawning – I want to go to sleep. (3 C1 G4)
- Tired – yawning. (4 C1 G5)
- Big yawn, quiet, sleepy. Relax, let go. (9 C2 G6)
- Yawning lots. Farmhouse, countryside. Can’t stop yawning, feel very sleepy. (1 C3 S5)
- Tired, want to close eyes, big sighs, yawns (2 C3 G4)
- Feel very tired now – yawning (11 C3 S5)
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Polarity to sleepiness:-
DREAMS
Dreams /experiences as recorded by provers on the day of the proving. Unless otherwise indicated, the dreams or
experiences of awakening took place the night/early morning prior to the proving:-
- Awake a lot during the night – from 2:40am until about 5:30am. Did dream a lot but cannot remember it (1)
- Dream 10 days ago: In white swirly substance, stuck, dark, anxious, rigid. Was thinking of withdrawing from
trituration on my supervisor’s advice, due to sensitivity. Prover 5 visited me in dream and said not to make a
decision until I see her. (2)
- Awake at midnight. Restless sleep before then, whimpering in sleep, reproaching myself. Couldn’t sleep, got up
at 4am. (2)
- Woke up at 3:30am. Can’t remember time went back to sleep but it was after 4am. (3)
- 3:30am. I was up and at the bottom of bed, feeling awake and needing to move. Waking up as if commanded to
do so (5)
- Hearing voices in dream last night. In a dream, prover 10 needed to tell me something. (5) (Prover 5 also felt there
was a link to communication, thinking about words, patterns, word games, “Just a minute”, scrabble, www (5 C2
S2).
- When prover 5 woke up in the night:- left ear throbbing, > pressure (lying on it) (5) (see Ear – pain – left –
throbbing > pressure)
- Interestingly, in keeping with the theme of communication, www etc, in the morning of the proving, prover 9
recorded that she received an email from someone she knew over 20 years ago. He had never crossed her mind but
felt the need/desire to get in touch (9).
- Around 4am found myself wide awake and very alert – I didn’t know why. Tried to get back to sleep but couldn’t
for a couple of hours (6).
- Dreamt of pain in right cheekbone as if there was a white chip missing from it. Had to hold it with my fingers (9)
- Dream of being in a pub, bartender lewd, pub full of young men, football teams from opposing sides, one swore at
me, drunk, aggressive. But also in dream was a young boy child, unable to communicate – suddenly was able to
communicate and there was joy about this (10). Prover 10 also noted on walking to WSH on the morning of the
proving a lot of groups of men in the street, particularly a large team of workmen climbing scaffolding on a
building (10).
- Dream night after proving (17/04/16) of black horse rearing, trying to escape from overturned carriage...horse wild
eyed, it thrashed about, bloodied (10)
- Asked to dream with remedy. Unusually cosy, comfortable night with much less heat and restlessness than usual.
Put out a pad to record dreams. Woke up at least three times and moved out of bed straightaway – extremely
alert (most unusual), knew I had dreamed but could not remember anything. (11).
- On 18/04/16: dreamt of last night’s very special sleep! (11)
PERSPIRATION
- Hot (6)
- Profuse (6)
SKIN
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- The start of a blister on my finger (1 C3 S6)
- Blister on my finger. Friction burns/bed sores. (5 C3 S6)
(Prover 5 felt that the blisters were quite marked; having taken part in triturations previously she had not
experienced blisters to this degree)
- Pressure sensation on right middle finger as if I’m developing a blister from the pestle (9 C3 G2)
- Almost blister on right middle finger (9 C3 S6)
- Woke up in morning (day after proving) with two tiny blisters on top left of ring finger (3)
- Prover 3 experienced a boil in her hairline coming up on the right side, onset the day before the proving
(16/04/16). She had never had one before. By 18/04/16 (day after proving) it had almost gone. (3)
- Itchy head left side, itching front in between breasts, itchy back, itchy chin. Starting to feel bored of the itching. (8
C2 S3)
- Thinking of poison ivy with the itch. (8 C2 G4)
GENERALS
Abscesses (2)
Air; open – desire for (3) (4) (11)
- Dry. Cracked. Like a Salt Lake. Fissures. Eyes. Warts. Abscesses. So Dry. Vaginal Dryness. Eyes Dry. Mouth
Dry (2 C1 G2)
- Dry mouth, lips, throat, nasal passage. (9 C1 S3)
- I’d love a piece of dark chocolate and some coffee (11 C3 S1)
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- Licking up the spilled powder. Its nice and faintly sweet. Soothing. Milky. So much powder has come out. I’d like
to eat it all! (9 C2 S6)
- Tough, hard, rigid dark exterior! Soft, tender delicious sweet inside – NECTAR, golden, sweet honey “honey
honey, sugar sugar” The Hive, honeycomb (2 C3 S2)
- “Tell them about the honey, mummy” (2 C3 G3)
Heat, sensation of (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (8) (9) (10) (11)
Note: Every prover experienced a feeling of being hot or warm. Although it could be speculated that the room was warm,
it is worth noting that on this particular weekend, the boiler had broken down and there was no heating whatsoever in the
school. Also, the proving took place in mid April and although it was a sunny day, it was not unusually hot. Therefore I think
this can be taken as being relevant to the proving.
- Cold and shivery – like the door has been opened (3 C3 G4)
- Its the fast movement that seems to highlight that my vision is blurred, like I can’t keep up with the speed of the
movement. (9 C1 S5)
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Motion – amel – rapid motion (5) (4) (6) (9) (10)
Motion – rhythmical (4) (5) (6) (8) (10) (11) (see also Mind – sensitive, rhythm to)
- Concentrating on the process, Rhythm. Plodding. Mind free to think. Soothing motion. Mesmeric. Soothing.
Rhythm of life. Cows in the field. Homestead harvest. The pace of life. (6 C1 S5)
- Rocking back and fore. Moving whole body – jiggling. (4) is swaying back and forth. Making rhythmical scraping
sound with mortar. (10 C2 G6)
- (10) your eyes are flickering and your body is moving to the rhythm of the grinding (observation by 4 C3 G4)
- Body rocking rhythmically – small movements. Strong rhythm present in my body. (11 C2 S2)
- Attracted to the rhythm of sound and movement in the grinding (5 C3 G2)
- Song – “The rhythm of life is a powerful beat – feel it through your fingers, feel it through your feet. The rhythm
of life is a powerful beat” (5 C3 G3)
- Synchronised stirring (8 C3 G4)
- Rocking legs with grinding movement. Stop, start grinding. Matching (4)’s rhythm grinding, synchronised (10 C3
G4)
- Need to wriggle my toes, to see they are still there. Legs feel a bit numb. (9 C1 G4)
Paralysis (2)
- Quick reactions – when things nearly fell on the floor catch them in plenty of time (5 C3 S3)
Rubbing (9)
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Sitting erect, amel (3) (5) (8) (9) (10)
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3.2 Zebra Spider Themes
The following section brings together the themes which came through in the proving. The repertory
section contains a lot of the detail in respect of statements made by the provers and I have also
included in this section some key expressions which I felt were relevant to each theme; although there
may be some repetition here.
Working on the themes felt a bit like “taking the case”, going through the mass of information from
the notes and drawing out the juicy bits! In my analysis it has helped me to look at this information
from a sensation method – what’s animal, what’s spider, which hopefully leaves me with what’s
Zebra!
Overview of themes:-
- Animal idea
- Spider idea
- Zebra spider:
Mental themes
o Absorbed – in my own world!
o Alone – but ok!
o Artful Dodger!
o Busy - doing nothing?!
o Bored – out of my brain!
o Black or white!
o Child I am
o Confused – skittle or wand?
o Delusions
o Detached
o Escape – Trapped – Freedom
o I see you!
o Movement – to my own rhythm!
o Senses – too much!
o Sunlight and Shade
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Animal
Drawing on the sensation method, I think we can see the animal in a lot of the language and sensations of the proving. Bold
type is my own emphasis of particular phrases that were animal like:-
Heightened senses in the remedy; for example, heightened awareness (Alert); “car horn beeping in the distance and everyone
stops. (11) is even checking what is happening outside. Drawn to the periphery. (9). Also heightened awareness of other
people and what they are doing, observing them. Senses acute:
A sense of either being an outcast or the polarity - tribal. A sense also of persecution.
- Outsider feeling returns. Different – not belonging. Outcast. Not wanted. Alone. I don’t fit in. Out of rhythm
with everybody. (5) (Delusions – outcast, she were an (2)(3)(4)(5)
- Need to protect my pack. Growling, biting, baring teeth (2)
- Why do people persecute me? (5) (Delusions – persecuted, he is)
- Sensitive to criticism. No bad intention – not meaning to be naughty. Feeling misunderstood. Why don’t people
like me? Why are people threatened by me? (5)
- On my way in (to WSH) this morning – sense of chaos – traffic, roadworks. Feeling of being outside of something
as I walk in the sunshine. Am I the only one? Am I late? (11)
The feeling of being an outsider and alone (see also Theme – Alone, but Ok!) was quite common; I also considered the
rubric “Delusions, separated from the world, he is” which is common to other predators e.g. Androc, bit-ar, falco-pe, haliae-
lc and loxo-recl (recluse spider).
A sense of being trapped; attempts to escape; and survival – are animal themes:
Delusions - trapped
- Stuck. Desires freedom. (2)
- Walled in, looking through blinkers strapped in – across the eyes. Imprisoned, despair (6)
- Alive, breathing. Drugged. A bind – imprisoned. Head aching, temples and base of skull, top shoulders. Bound.
Help me! Mechanical. Pain in right back/side at bottom of back. Piercing pain. Let me free! Thank you. Deep
breaths. Survive. (6)
Escape, attempts to
- Something wants to escape or be set free. (3)
- Powder literally jumping out of the bowl – trying to escape! That’s what I’d like to do. Room to bright / sounds
too loud / smells too strong. (5)
- I want to escape. Tip table over, run out of the door and hide” (5)
- Bird trying to escape, leather straps across eyes, wings beating. Journey of hope, escape. Drowsy, must stop, rest
(6)
Suvival
- Not fearful – just survival of species? What I’m here to do. My role in the group. (5)
There were other examples of animal language and sensations but I feel the above captures the idea of the animal in the
remedy. Lets now get stuck into the Spider themes.
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Spider
I purposely decided not look too closely at themes of spiders in general before the proving and indeed before analysis of the
proving itself – as I wanted to be as unbiased as possible in my approach; to be Hahnemann’s “unprejudiced observer”, not
to be hunting for what was spider and risk missing what is peculiar to the remedy. Our Bill Rumble, a core teacher at WSH
teaches us that to have “beginner’s mind” is so important in the application of homeopathy. The only real bias I think I
brought into the process was a love for and curiosity about this little spider. So this “Spider” section is the last analysis
section I worked on – after I had worked on the repertory and the themes of Zebra. So it was very pleasing to discover in the
latter part of this process that so much of what is common to spiders did indeed come up in the proving.
In this I have found Peter Fraser’s book “Spiders – Suspended between Earth and Sky” immensely helpful in getting the idea
of spiders in general. In this Spider section I want to point out the “background”, what themes are coming up that are
common to spiders. In the Zebra themes that follow we go into more detail so that hopefully we may get then get an idea of
what is unique and individual about Zebra i.e. the “foreground” as Peter Fraser puts it. This may not be an easy task, as the
spiders are a very homogenous group of remedies. Peter Fraser says that the differentiation between them will “almost
always be difficult and rely on comprehending the slightly different emphasis in the common symptoms”.14
“a point of dynamism and change that is the same for all the group but which the individual remedies each handle
in slightly different ways...one of the clearest points of this dynamis is when there is movement from one Realm to
another. The Birds, Trees and Insects all involve movement from the Earth to the Sky” 15 ..
He sees spiders as being “suspended between Earth and Sky”. This is because, although not all spiders are web spinners (and
Zebra is not), they all have the ability to spin silk – this is the archetype.
“The web hangs suspended in the Sky but in order to function it must be anchored to the Earth in some way. At the
centre of the web sits the spider motionless but in a state of tension and awareness, sensitive to the tiniest
movements anywhere on the web”.16
So here is the spider - up in the air but also, necessarily, stuck to the ground – “not fully of the Sky” as Peter Fraser puts it. It
can’t fly like the birds can. Its web must have a point of connection to the earth. But, it is not entirely grounded, earthbound,
either. Zebra, as we know, is a great jumper! When Zebra jumps, it attaches a silk thread to the surface from which it jumps,
like a safety line, just in case it misses its target. Then they can abseil down to safety. We also know that in some species of
spiders, spiderlings will leave a thread of silk into the sky to be carried away by the air to disperse and migrate– referred to
as ballooning - so at least in one point in their life cycle they can fly like a bird. How does Zebra approach this dynamic of
movement/stuckness between the Earth and Sky?
Peter Fraser points out that with this state of suspension between the Earth and Sky there is confusion and disorientation in
spiders. For example, a disconnection from time, clumsiness, making mistakes, weakness of memory and even confusion of
identity are common spider themes. If we look at the Zebra theme “Confused” we can see a lot of these symptoms!
Part of the spider confusion manifests as emotional disconnection and is rooted in not being grounded or in touch with the
Earth and also – not being able to be fully free in the Sky, in the way a bird can be:
“The Spider knows exactly what is happening both in the Realm of the Sky and the Earthly Realm but has no
proper understanding of what this means. Having no real connection to the Sea or the Underworld they cannot
comprehend the emotional or instinctual content of what they know. The most extreme form of this is Autism and
Spider remedies can be indicated right across the autistic spectrum”.17
If we look at the detail in the themes in Zebra – “Absorbed, in my own world”, “Alone but ok!”, “Detached” we can perhaps
see this. Its not that they don’t feel emotions at all but a key expression coming through in Zebra is a sense of detachment
and when emotions do come up they are fleeting or have a sense of immaturity about them, or, in the case of one prover who
did experience emotions quite strongly early on in the proving, it was too overwhelming perhaps.
There can also be marked changeability in moods and this was quite strong in the proving; some provers would comment on
despair, dark, heaviness and would switch to euphoria or lightness of energy in other parts of the proving.
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There was almost a locked in sense to the remedy – absorbed in its own world, intent on whatever small task it is doing –
totally absorbed in scraping and grinding, for example, and finding patterns in the powder. With a great love of symmetry,
which one prover described as “loving symmetry but not perfect symmetry i.e. liking a pattern but not needing the pattern to
be complete straight or congruent.
There was a sense of aloneness in this but most provers did not dislike their sense of aloneness, in fact they welcomed it,
with a desire for solitude. Part of this connected to a huge oversensitivity to stimuli, wanting to shut down, close eyes, go
and hide. Great sensitivity to noise, which some provers found painful or prevented them from thinking – see Theme Senses
– too much! In this we see the great spider them of hypersensitivity, and Peter Fraser describes this beautifully:-
“The Spider is sensitive to what is happening in the environment, but having no way of grounding and regulating
this sensitivity it almost invariably runs out of control and becomes a hypersensitivity. The least disturbance to any
sense is noted and magnified. The Spider on her web picks up most easily vibrations which are detected through
hairs on her legs. It is thus vibration, in its earthly form of touch and in its airborne form of sound to which the
Spider is most sensitive. The other senses of sight, smell and taste also tend to oversensitivity.”18
A couple of provers were particularly sensitive to vibration – one prover reported feeling sounds through her legs! Huge
sensitivity to noise as we have noted but also some photosensitivity (see Physicals – Eyes) with a desire for darkness and to
close eyes. Interestingly, Zebra belongs to a group of spiders, the jumping spiders, who have the most sensitive and best
eyesight of the all the spiders. Hunting spiders to rely more on their eyesight than webspinners. Often in these spiders we see
sensitivity to colour and in Zebra this theme came up (see Theme Black – White).
Spiders have lots of energy – which one can imagine they need, in order to leap into action when an insect lands in their
web, or in the case of a hunting spider such as Zebra, to jump or pounce on their prey. As Peter Fraser points out, this
enormous energy must sometimes be held in reserve – remaining still on the web for long periods. So we have both
restlessness and desire for movement and in the theme “Movement” we can see examples of this. For example, wanting to
dance, moving whilst grinding – to a rhythm! Another spider theme, also connected to release of this nervous energy, are
outlets such as fruitless activity (see Theme Busy –doing nothing!), which was quite pronounced in Zebra.
One theme we touched on in Animal idea was a sense of being under threat or a feeling of persecution and this idea came
through in the proving. Some provers were particularly aware sounds in the building, with a fear of intruders. One prover
described this as being hypervigilant and (unusually for her) had to keep her feet on the ground, ready to spring into action.
Sometimes there was a less specific quality to this, a sense of just dread or fear of something, perhaps something looking in
through the window.
The nervous tension in spiders can manifest on the physical level and many tensions are experienced in the head, back and
limbs. If we look at the Head, Back and Extremities sections, many provers felt stiffness in neck, head – a couple of provers
needing to roll their heads from side to side, many provers feeling the need to stretch, back aches and pains, needing to
stretch limbs.
One oddity about the proving in terms of spiders in general was that heat or sensations of being hot came up for all provers.
Spiders are generally chilly remedies. Coincidentally, the boiler in the building had broken down that weekend, so the
building wasn’t heated. I don’t know that I can make a sweeping conclusion that Zebra isn’t chilly. I would go so far as to
say there were strong sensations of heat in the remedy often with sweating, and not liking this, wanting fresh air for example.
They also enjoyed basking in the sun – but also had a desire for darkness! Which is very like the Zebra spider.
I have already mentioned the introverted side to the remedy, not particularly social creatures. Just an observation but I know
from having heard about previous triturations and taken part in one previously, often the provers will go out to lunch all
together and stay together as a group. I was quite amused that the provers over the lunch hour didn’t all stay together for
lunch, but went off, perhaps in little pairs or individually. I had lunch in a cafe with Linda and we were amused to spy on
the other provers walking past in the street, usually in pairs or on their own, with sunglasses on!
Spiders can move from a state of great activity to a state of exhaustion and collapse. 19. One of the big themes in the remedy
was sleep – a strong desire for sleep and with this a sense of tiredness and lethargy – but, particularly during the last round of
the proving – a burst of energy and increased speed and intensity e.g. suddenly frantic and fast grinding. One might
normally expect that the third and final round would be less energised!
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Another strong group of physical symptoms coming up common to spiders is nausea and vertigo. In the proving we saw
references to nausea – particularly strong in the first round, when often physical symptoms are most pronounced in
triturations. There was almost a sense of seasickness with this and < motion and sight of movement e.g. tables rocking.
Spiders are known to be important remedies in travel sickness.
Pains are often sharp and stabbing and when pain sensations did come up in the proving there were often references to sharp
pains.
In spiders there are often respiratory symptoms. Spiders have “book lungs” (see biology section) and are vulnerable to
drowning. A marked physical sensation in the proving was a sense of needing to take deep breaths, breathlessness and in
some cases, not being able to take a deep breath. In one prover this was connected to a sense of having a twisted spine or
scoliosis and – once she experienced a curative effect during the proving of her spine untwisting, she was able to take a deep
breath for the first time in weeks. Connecting with this, a theme of skeletal alignment in particular came up on the proving
(see Back section).
There is often a need for attention in spiders or to draw attention to themselves. In the theme “I see you” we will see that in
Zebra there seem to be particular issues about this – often not wanting to be seen, in fact, but to see others and observe
others. I see you but you can’t see me. Sometimes provers did want to catch attention of others, e.g. by strong eye contact,
but there was a polarity of not wanting eye contact, not wanting to be watched. One prover wanted to run out of the door and
hide, another wanted to tip the table over in a tantrum, and had to restrain herself from doing so.
Last but not least, then, a childlike theme running throughout the remedy (see Themes “Child I am” and the Artful Dodger).
This may tie in with emotional immaturity that we see in the disconnected emotions generally in spiders, but the intensity of
the childlike themes coming through lead me to think that Zebra does have a strong affinity to the child, maybe a spidery
version of a Baryta carb, in some respects.
At the beginning of this section I asked how does Zebra approach the dynamic movement/stuckness. So many of the themes
touched on above are common to spiders. This is great to see in terms of confirmatory information, but as Peter Fraser says,
often it may be difficult to distinguish spiders based on these common features. My idea of Zebra, which is personal and may
not be exact or correct, is that that the child element is very strong; there is a marked autistic feel to the remedy; they are
perhaps not so keen for an audience as Tarantula hispanica say, although being observed is certainly an issue – they may
prefer to be the observer! This spider is known colloquially as the theatrical jumper - it is said to be aware of the human
gaze, and changes its behaviour upon becoming aware of being observed by a human. It was beautiful to see expressions of
the provers such as “I see you”; “to observe but not to be observed”; and this sensitivity to observation, the outsider delusion
and the huge polarities/contradictory states we see in the remedy (see Themes Sunlight and Shade) may go some way to help
to identify our little Zebra spider.
This was a painting I drew as part of some process work in my first year at WSH. Although not part of the proving, (or was it?) it seems to
capture something of the essence of movement or idea of the spider – from ground to sky, at risk perhaps of being trampled by a boot, and a
polarity or duality between light and dark coming through in parts of the proving.
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Zebra - Mental/Emotional themes:
Key words: Absorbed; “in your own world”; Daydreaming; Introspection; Spaciness
There is a sense of being absorbed, “in your own world”, and I think we can see this in various rubrics including Absorbed;
Absentminded – dreamy; Introspection; Spaced out feeling; Staring, thoughtless; for example:-
The polarity to this rubric and also clarity of mind was Concentration, difficult and Confusion (see Theme
Confused).
Connected with this sense of absorption and “being in my own world” there was also a sense of solitude or not wanting to
contact others (see Theme – Alone, but Ok!) but with great intent/focus on the job they doing with a marked degree of
fastidiousness or conscientiousness over trifles (see Theme – Busy, doing nothing) and a theme that crops up throughout –
aggravation from noise or overstimulation, which some provers responded to by wanting to escape, close their eyes, or for
example “Daydreaming – cannot stay in the present, its too noisy (3) (see Theme Senses – Too much!)
Spaciness - subtheme
A number of provers experienced a spaced out feeling (4), (6), (8), (9) and (11) and many actually used the word “spaced
out”, a sense of feeling spacey, lightheaded, also drifting off, inclination to drift off. There was almost a drug picture in this,
prover 6 felt drugged, prover 11 alluded to cannabis indica, and prover 9 felt “almost as if drunk” (Stupefaction). This may
also be connected to vertigo symptoms in the picture, with lots of dizziness (see Physicals – Themes).
Key words: On my own, but not alone. Company – aversion to; desires solitude; Detached;
Estranged.
A strong theme throughout the proving was a sense of being alone yet this didn’t feel uncomfortable, there was a sense of
contentment and okayness in being alone, for example:-
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o On my own, but not alone, contented. Doing my own thing – not answering to anyone. At last I can be
myself, who I need to be (3)
o Don’t need anyone – quite happy on my own. Contented (4)
o Detached, alone – OK. Alone but content. (6)
- Company, aversion to – desire for solitude (3) (4) (5) (6)
o Room too bright / sounds too loud /smells to strong. Want to be alone (5)
o Better peace and quiet and dark and solitude. Want to be alone (5)
o Still feeling alone – but not lonely. Felt very on my own during the trituration but not alone. Happy to
work independently (3)
o Alone and strong (6)
Some provers expressed this in the sense of not needing anyone, being happy to work on their own. The polarity to this sense
of being alone but ok in being alone was expressed in particular by Prover 2 who felt forsaken and craving love in rounds 1
and 2 of the trituration:-
Whereas by round 3, prover 2 referenced: Dreams of intimacy, real connection, touch, to be held safely; from the film
Avatar “I see you” (2). Also, “I’m happy. Intimacy and true connection at last..” (2) (Cheerful).
o Want to talk to people. Had enough of silence, Sociable creature (4) (Talking – desire to talk to
someone)
o So much lighter, feeling much more cheerful. Nice to have interaction. Outgoing (9) (Cheerful)
Prover 5 particularly expressed a desire for solitude in terms of being overstimulated by senses and wanting peace, quiet and
darkness and solitude (see Theme – Senses – too much!).
A strong feeling of being on the outside, alone, solitude yet not lonely was experienced by Prover 5, Round 1 (See
Theme - Outcast). Tied in with this is the sense of being in their own world, as discussed in Theme – Absorbed; also a strong
sense of being detached. Taking all of the above into account and also being absorbed, introverted, feeling alone and
ok with this, but also the polarity coming through of craving love and affection, the strong delusion in the remedy of being
an outsider and issues about being looked at, a picture seems to be coming through of an almost “locked in” state in terms of
social interaction with a strong aggravation from overstimulation in terms of the senses and although speculative of me as
the remedy has not been used clinically yet – perhaps an autistic or aspergers type sense to it.
Artful Dodger!
I had to borrow this expression from one of the provers – Artful Dodger - it sums up a defiant, naughty, rebellious side to the
remedy. Some of these qualities are also very spidery. Lets look at the some of the ideas that may come up under this
heading (see also theme Child I am).
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o How awful to have ADHD in school and feel forced to behave / to conform / to have no individuality/ to
not be able to be myself. (5)
We also see the polarity; prover 11 observed: “They’re all so dutiful and obedient”. (11)
- Escape, attempts to (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (9) (10) (see also Theme: Escape – Trapped - Freedom)
o I want to escape. Tip table over, run out of the door and hide (5)
- Mischievous (1) (3) (5) (9) (10) (11)
o Resisting urge to blow powder out of the bowl. (3)
o Diving into my scraping. Feel naughty – laughing at people, noticing everybody. (10)
- Mischievous – children in (3) (6) (9) (11)
o Feel split in two – the naughty girl who always does the right thing and the naughty girl who wants to be
mischievous, destructive (3)
o Feel like naughty school girl. (6)
o Feeling naughty, nothing else happening so may as well have some fun. Giggling. (11) wants to poke
me! Childish/teenage fun (9)
o Desire to poke (9) gently – not nasty (11)
- Rebellious (3) (5)
o Don’t like conforming – doing what I’m told. The rebel. The trickster. Want to have fun, to challenge, be
artful. The Artful Dodger (5)
o A “fuck you” defiance (3)
But within this sense of defiance and rebelliousness coming through, prover 5 expressed a sense of being misunderstood:-
Key words: Industriousness; Conscientious about trifles; fastidiousness; tidy; desire for
order, pattern, symmetry; Laziness; Mess; What’s the point?
Perhaps not surprising in a spider remedy but there was a strong theme of industriousness. Within this there was a sense of
conscientiousness – but about small things, with a sense of perfectionism and methodicalness. Connected to this, again was a
sense of being absorbed in the process (see Theme Absorbed), fastidiousness or perhaps more than a need for tidiness per se
- a love of symmetry and pattern.
- Conscientious about trifles (also observer, detail of everything, in) (3) (4) (9) (10) (11)
o Very into scraping. Trying for perfection. (3) Creating a masterpiece” (3)
o Very proud of my little bowl” (6)
o Scraping – like exploring the past, an archaeological dig. What’s under this? I’d like to do it gently, like
archaeologists: using a brush rather than a scraper. (9)
o I can’t move my chair but want to move it – otherwise my powders will fall over. (10)
- Checking, twice or more, must check (10)
- Counting (3)
o Counting how many scoops of powder is in the bowl = + (3)
- Fastidiousness (3)(5)(9) (or Order; desire for)
o I need all the powder to come off the sides – its annoying me, that I can’t get it all off. Need the pile of
powder to be completely neat and tidy and in a circle. Not as tidy as I want it. (3)
o So important to get the correct pattern in the powder. Neat, tidy, ordered (3)
o I want to be neat on my table, but the wobbliness of it doesn’t sit right (9)
o Realise my table is the wrong way round and can’t get legs in. Everybody else’s is right. Table seems to
far away. Had to move table round (5)
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Prover 5 felt this was not so much fastidious as a desire for pattern:-
- Not fastidious re: cleaning it perfectly – but loving the patterns. Drawn to the pattern (5)
- Want to create patterns – see sequences. Desire unusual symmetry but without perfection (5)
- Need to make a neat pile in lower right quarter of bowl (3)
The polarity to tidiness and fastidiousness also came through (see Untidy); with lots of messiness and spilling
powder everywhere! (3) (4) (5) (10).
- What is the point of this? Its getting on my nerves. I’ve got better things to do than this (3)
- Industrious but a compulsion with an aversion. Does my life depend on it? (5)
- Grinding and scraping: I wonder if I’m doing it right? But it doesn’t matter. Its only an exercise, a practice. Its not
as if somebody’s life would depend on it. No real gravitas. Not an exam! (9)
Also look up the Theme Boredom! In fact, lets move on to this now -
In direct contract to being absorbed, industrious, focussed, immersed in the process we have also a sense of boredom.
Connected with this, a sense of impatience (although in the case of two provers, this was also connected to hunger and a
strong desire for lunch!), some restlessness and also laziness:-
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o Impatient – restless (3)
o Impatient for this to end (10)
- Restlessness (2) (3) (8)
o Restless, can’t concentrate. Fidgeting (3)
Black or White!
Key words: White - pure; quiet; soft; white birds; sunshine; light; cloud; bright white coil;
blinding;
Black – darkness; numbness; no joy; rigid; depressed; black mane; heaviness;
close eyes; peace; quiet; solitude.
A striking number of Provers mentioned the colour white or associations with white, for example:-
- Colours, white, desire for (2) (5) (6) (9) (10) (11)
o Must keep everyone happy. Heavy hearted. Self denial. Incapacitated. Stuck. Rigid. Restrained. Straight
jacket pure white (2)
o Thoughts of snow. (6) Fjords, whiteness. Experiencing quiet, blankness...looking up – noticing the white
wall. (6). White nothingness. (6). White, shining, peace. (6)
o Soft, gentle, soft white powder. (9)
o Strong sense of being enveloped in WHITE – like a tent falling on me – very pleasant. I can see white
birds flying in flock but spread out – they are big and slender – beautiful. (11)
o White, billowy (1)
o Pure sunshine, light, WHITE (2); dark brown husk, hairy, strong dark ropes (2)
o Abrasive. Swirly, WHITE. Dry. Dehydrated (2)
o Puffs of white cloud (2)
o Quiet, in my space. White linen cocooned around me (10)
o Safe in my coil – bright, white, crystal like (9)
o “Coil” – I was stuck in a Mr Whippy coil. (9 C1)
The significance of some of the provers’ sensations were not lost on me, having observed my Teacher spider for a month
prior to the proving. Prover 9 described being in a coil, like a Mr Whippy coil. Although not web weaving spiders, I had
observed that the spider weaves a white silk cocoon in which it rests/sleeps. The spider comes out of its cocoon when it is
active, to hunt its prey. Prover 11’s experience of being enveloped in white – “like a tent falling on me” – was very
synchronous in that when I had been keeping my Teacher spider and later on the specimens for a week prior to the proving, I
had provided a white piece of tissue as cover along with scraps of card or wood – invariably the spider would seek shelter
underneath the white tent (tissue paper) and form their cocoon! It was quite fascinating that this seemed to come out in the
proving.
Some provers were drawn to bright contrasting colours and also the colours orange and red (see Mind – colours).
Of course, the spiders are black and white striped, hence the name Zebra spider! A message from a friend (not a prover) on
17/04/16 - had been wearing stripy tops ALL week, hadn’t worn stripes since in her 20s, but was given some this week and
had worn them non-stop. She had also experienced some mentals/emotional that were unlike her this week. I felt this
relevant to include as it seems that she was experiencing the “field” of the proving. I also observed that a couple of provers
were wearing stripy tops and a lot of black and white on the day of the proving.
Although only one prover expressed a desire for colour black, there were several references to the colour black and also to
darkness in the proving:
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- A black mane blowing in the wind. Galloping pace, wild, free, dancing (2)
- Prover 10’s dream of a black stallion rearing (see Dreams)
Many provers had a strong desire for darkness and to close their eyes (see Eyes section) although prover 2 felt she was lost
in the dark (Delusions: Dark).
Underneath this heading its worth mentioning other strong polarities coming through e.g. Darkness/Light, Heaviness/Light/
Trapped/Freedom, Darkness/Sunlight, Despair/Happiness, Introversion/Social creature, Industrious/Laziness, which I will
look at in more depth under Theme – Sunlight and Shade.
Child I am
Key words: Amusement; smash up; capricious; don’t want to grow up; gentle, round and
round we go; childlike; Boo!; Giggling; Impulsiveness; Immaturity; Jumping;
class room; laughing – burst out; playing; baby in utero; germination
A prominent feeling throughout the proving was an affinity to the child – whether in terms of childish or childlike behaviour,
of a sense of being nurtured, wanting lullabies, a childish sense of humour, a mischievous naughtiness, temper tantrums, an
unruliness or rebelliousness (see Artful Dodger), an emotional immaturity, a sense of fun, carefreeness and playfulness. We
can see the childlikeness coming through in various expressions:-
- Amusement, desire for (3) (see also Playing – desire to play; Destructiveness)
o Made a face in my powder – smashed up – too ugly. (3)
- Capriciousness (3) (9)
o I don’t want to scrape! (9)
- Change, aversion to (2) (9)
o I don’t want to stop! I don’t want to move on. I don’t want to grow up and develop. (9 )
- Childish behaviour (3) (4) (5) (9) (10)
o Gentle gentle in a circle, round and round we go. (3)
o Feeling quite childlike and frivolous. (4)
o Something about children and youth. Singing a child’s song in my mind because I saw a shape of a
mountain in the powder. (4)
o I like grinding I do! Very childlike. (4)
o Can see the adults in TV advert for Haribo sweets, talking childishly. (4)
o ‘La di da’ singing in head, want to sing out loud and “Boo” everyone. (10)
o “The wheels on the bus go round and round” (3)
o An immaturity emotionally in the picture. Emotions feel reactive, in the moment. (5)
o Pre-puberty, care-free time (9)
o We’re all like kids in a class room, playing (10)
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With this theme of the child or affinity to child coming through, we can see a childish sense of humour with lots of giggling
often at silly things or uncontrollable giggling (Giggling) and laughing (Laughing). After the proving, prover 4 said she still
had spider energy -went to see a homeopath and they were both giggling and laughing silly.
Impulsive
There is an impulsiveness to the remedy, which again had a childish quality to it but also a spidery edge to it!:
There was an element of mental retardation and in some of the expressions this had a childlike quality to it:-
The theme of child seems to be expressed throughout the proving and would seem to be a strong affinity for this remedy
based on the proving data. This section would be very large if I listed everything here but if we cross-refer to other themes
e.g. Artful Dodged; Bored etc we can see other examples.
Paradoxically to this affinity to child there is some data in the proving that made me think of an end-of-life remedy – see
Theme – Senses – too much!).
Key words: Blank; Concentration – difficult; Distracted; All over the place; Focus –
difficult; Flitting; Wandering; Jumping around; Confused; Blurry; Mistakes –
spelling, writing, time – inarticulate; uncoordinated; Jerky; Rhythm; too fast;
too slow; in my own time
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Whilst some provers obviously felt active concentration in terms of being absorbed in what they were doing (Theme –
Absorbed) or focussed and industrious (Theme – Busy doing nothing); there was paradoxically a strong theme of confusion
and difficulty in concentration. We can also see this under rubrics such as Mistakes; and Thoughts, wandering; and also
confusion about time. We can also see this extended to the physicals in terms of lack of co-ordination, for example (see
Physicals). The polarity was also mentioned - clarity of mind by provers 3 and 8.
We also see the theme of being distracted by noise, > quiet, coming up again:-
o Its gone quiet – that’s better, the noise is stopping my concentration (3)
and mistakes in choosing the right word for something; as Prover 3 charmingly put it “I can’t remember how to
grind – do I use the skittle or the wand?”. She explained afterwards that she felt like a child who can’t think of the
right name for something so makes it up.
- Time
Under the rubrics Time – quickly, appears shorter, passes to; and Time – slowly, appears longer: passes too; we
seem lots of time distortions, time going to fast or too quickly. The timekeeper felt she was getting absorbed by
time! Distortions in time are quite a common occurrence in trituration provings although I think it came up quite
strongly in this proving. What I think is more specific to the remedy in particular was prover 5’s expression:
“Doing it to my own rhythm not everybody else’s – late starting – IN MY OWN TIME” (5)
which seems to express a sense of non-conformity and having its own rhythm. In fact, this was my initial
impression of the substance when I first saw the spider – “that it was moving in a time and rhythm of its own”.
Lots of confusion and distraction in thought processes and amusing to see the energy of the substance coming
through in words such as flitting, wandering, jumping around, immaturity:-
- Thoughts – wandering (3)(5)(6)(8)
o Mind flitting from subject to subject. Hard to keep a focus (5)
o Thinking random thoughts (6)
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o Thoughts wandering and jumping around (8)
o Difficult to focus or be present – I’m still at lunch. Mind wandering to jobs that need to be done tonight
(3)
- Thoughts – vacancy / vanishing (5) (9) (11)
o No thought? An immaturity of thought? No need for thought because all is provided? (9)
o Overthinking. Trying to hard. Mind gone blank (5)
o I can’t think of anything if I try to! (11)
- Thoughts – thoughtful (11)
o I feel thoughtful but don’t know what I’m thinking about. (11) But also:
o Contemplation. Profound calm thoughtfulness (11)
Delusions
Key words: Alone; Death; White; Flying; Heaviness; Different; Outsider; out of rhythm;
Trapped
Below is a list of some of the impressions and images listed under the delusions section in the repertory. Some of these are
common images or words that crop up in other points of the proving and perhaps not delusions as such. The main delusions
of the remedy I think we can see are related to a sense of separation - being alone, an outcast or outsider; not just from
others but perhaps also from the world, also perhaps with a feeling of persecution; and a sensation of being trapped with a
desire for freedom (see Theme – Escape):-
- Alone, being (2) (3) (5) (6) – this has been a strong theme throughout (see also Theme Alone)
- Death – “fire in the distance – destructive, death, rescue them. White, strong, shining. Groans, death. (6)
Death and destruction appears elsewhere in the proving (see Black & White; also Sunlight & Shade)
- Heaviness (2)
o This was a word used a lot by prover 2 – in contrast to prover 6’s flying
- Influence; one is under...(6)
o Magic, a magician with me – powerful. Helping me, guiding me (6)
- Mission (6)
o A quest...A mission. A quest – looking into envelope. Shamanic journeying. Onward. Follow the
remedy, wherever it takes us. Help along the way. My phone – no charge. Cut off. Cut off is fine – more
energy for the quest. Focus. Where are we? Go on. Racing along – must move on. Seeking. Alive.
Fleeing? Help someone, got to save them (6)
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This sense of being an outsider I think is such a central theme to this remedy; we see it all through the proving – being alone;
being detached, being absorbed in one’s own little world, introverted; being different, not conforming – the rebel. As with
any theme in a remedy, its always useful to see the polarity coming through too and the following expressions seemed to
encapsulate more of a sense of unity and tribalness:-
- Frozen waters, colourfully dressed people – wearing tunics. Taking us in, protecting us, friendly. Feeling of
warmth towards them – unity. Warmth, physical (6)
- Togetherness; achieving something important together; tribal even (6)
- Need to protect my pack. Growling, biting, bearing teeth (2)
- This is such a kind remedy – something benevolent about it. He’s quiet. Profound, calm, thoughtfulness.
Contemplation. Such very dear people with me here – good women, we do this for the world. How many circles of
women have done this or similar before us – ancestors, out taking note from a distance (11).
The other big idea of the remedy is a sense of being trapped – wanting freedom and movement, see Delusions – trapped, he
us (see Theme – Escape). We can also see a smaller theme of body and mind being separated and altered sensations about
size:
Detached
There seemed to be a strong feeling of detachment in the sense of lacking emotion or being an automaton; a sense of being
disconnected and disengaged. Again, this connects to the sense of being an outsider and feeling disconnected from others
and, in the words of one prover, disconnected from everything. Other words coming up associated with detachment include
mechanical, mechanistic, “just getting on with the job”, boring – which again, ties with the industriousness and boredom
themes. There were also references to analytical thinking, no emotion.
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o No real emotions. Striking. Just doing. Not indifferent – just doing (5)
What was perhaps more interesting is a striking lack of emotions in the proving or when they did appear they seemed to be
fleeting and perhaps superficial. Except in the case of prover 2 who experienced very intense emotions in the early part of
the proving – with a striking lack of sympathy from other provers, could we say a lack of empathy in the remedy?
Key words Stuck; restricted; “let me go”; imprisoned; straight jacket; Escape; freedom;
adventure; run; hide; go away; flee; home; sky
There is a definite theme of feeling trapped and wanting to escape. Connected with this are references to hiding and also
references to freedom, flying:-
Perhaps oddly, in contrast to wanting to escape, freedom – there was also a desire to go home:-
I see you!
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Key words Looked at; Seeing but not seen; invisible; eye contact; communication;
observant/being observed
Something that fascinated me about the spider initially was its colloquial name “theatrical jumper” or the actor – it is said to
be aware of the human gaze (see Part 1 – the substance). I did notice myself - it seems to turn around and look at you or
otherwise alters its behaviour upon noticing its being observed. Knowing this about the spider, it was fascinating to see
issues around being observed or being looked at – and often not liking this; not wanting to make eye contact, for example,
perhaps wanting to run off or hide; or sometimes the opposite of this, deliberately trying to make eye contact or otherwise
get provers’ attention. Not only this issue of being observed, but it was quite striking to me, going through the provers’
handbooks, how many people were making observations themselves, or watching others during the course of the proving.
In addition there were fears of open spaces (2) and, as discussed, fears of being trapped in the proving and wanting
to hide!
“I’ve made an eye, all the better to see you with” (3) “Let me go, said the eye – the all seeing eye” (3)
There were also lots of interesting symptoms under Eyes and Vision that are worth noting, in the physicals section;
especially a big theme of wanting to close the eyes.
Communication
A word about communication here – the remedy does not seem to be a big talker; although the proving was conducted
largely in silence this was not prescriptive. Given the introspection and love of solitariness we see in the picture, this does
seem in keeping with that. However, it does seem to like to communicate with the eyes – or have an aversion to eye contact.
There seem to be issues around communication; for example:-
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- Speech – inarticulate (1) (5)
o Very dry throat – feels like a lump at back of it – kind of feel its to do with communication or inability to
communicate (throat chakra) (1)
o In break – difficulty getting my words out (5).
Thinking about words, pattern, communication. Word games – “Just a minute” scrabble, WWW. Communication . Hearing
voices in dream last night (5)
Key words Dance; jig; jerky; moving; jump; music; head bang; drumming; bash; tapping;
humming; faster; hurry / slow; steady
Not surprisingly in a spider remedy – but lovely to see it coming through – is a sense of a love of rhythm and movement;
dancing, jumping; also a connection with/love of music – rhythmical; and a sense of hurry but also a polarity of slowness.
We can also see some of these themes in generals e.g. movement, desire for:-
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o Faster faster – get it all out (3)
o Feel like I need to hurry, do everything efficiently (10)
o Sense of sudden urgency – quick (11)
o I’m grinding fast, so is 9 (4). Fast and furious scraping, not just me (4)
- Slowness (3) (4) (9)
o Slowly, slowly does it, no need to rush (3) I feel so slow (3)
o God, (2) is grinding slowly! (4)
o Need to slow down in all aspects of life and grinding. Close eyes (4)
o I want to slow, steady, round and round (9)
- Mildness (3) (5)
o Very gentle, don’t want to hurt. Delicate (3)
o Want to make small, quiet, gentle movements (5)
- Eurythmics! (1)
Key words Alert; awareness; seeing; hearing; senses paramount; peripheral; too bright, too
loud, too strong; sensitivity; overwhelmed; vibration; painful; jumpy; noise irritating; shut the
fuck up; distracted / peace; quiet; calm; darkness; solitude
As discussed in Spider ideas, we know that oversensivity to stimuli, hypersensitivity, is a known theme in spider remedies.
And it certainly came through in this proving! So much so it impacted on other aspects of behaviour of the provers – for
example, prover 5 wanted to run away and hide – sounds, senses all too much. Many provers wanted to close their eyes (see
physicals – eye section). There seemed to be a hypervigilence in terms of alertness and anxiety with this e.g. some provers
felt there might be an intruder in the building, hearing sounds. Quiet, desire for was very prominent.
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o Really sensitive to vibration. Banging of bowl (5)
o Very aware of the noise around me (8)
o Everybody making lots of noise (9). Very aware of all noises around me (9)
o I can feel the noises in my legs (9) SENSITIVE TO NOISE (9)
o Noise = distractions (2)
- Sensitive, noise to – painful sensitiveness to (1) (2) (4) (5) (8) (9) (10)
o Acute hearing – almost painful (4)
o Noise of clanking around me is painful in ears (8)
o Some of the pinging of the bowls by others really hurts my ear, < right (9)
o Too noisy, desire PEACE (2)
o Loud noise – clink of mortar – ouch! (10)
(See also: Sensitive, noise to: slightest noise to; and Sensitive, noise to: shrill sounds, to)
- Sensitivity to people, presence of others and sensitivity to rhythm was also notable – see Themes “I see you” and
Movement respectively).
- Startled, noise from (5) (8)
o Jumpy with noise. “Oh” noise coming out (5)
o Jumped at car horn. Jumped when prover 11 got up (8)
- Darkness, desire for (2) (5)
o Blinding white light spiralling up. Too bright. Desires dark. Safety in dark (2)
o Darkness, lie down in the dark and not be talked to, desire for (5)
- Irritability – noise, from (2)(3)(4)(9)
o Too noisy. Shut the fuck up. I can’t hear myself think! (2)
o Noise of pestle against mortar annoying me – grating on my nerves (4)
o They are so harsh with their stuff – too noisy! Irritability, < noise (9)
o Distracted by very loud noise of pestle on mortar. I want to shout “shut up” – I can’t think (3)
- Quiet, wants (2) (3) (5) (6) (8) (10) (11)
o Desire to close eyes, be quiet and still. (2)
o Ssshhh, its quiet time. (3)
o Better peace and quiet and dark and solitude. (5)
o Experiencing quiet, blankness. (6)
o Frantic sounds of scraping like cries for help. Where are we? Peaceful. Weary. Stop and admire the
surroundings, peace. (6)
o Its so much quieter now – not so much banging and clattering – this makes me happy (3)
o Just + to be quiet and gentle, playing with the powder. A childlike quality, not a worry in the world. (5)
o Gentle, mellow. Feel at ease. (8)
o Peaceful, calm, melody (10) Nice when it goes quiet (10)
End of life?
“Its very very quiet – I’m in an old fashioned armchair in front of a roaring fire, Victorian feel, posh house. Green chair –
leather back, studded. An old fashioned metal fireguard. No dog – the dog is missing from the picture” (11)
“Peace. Energy. Quiet. End of the day. Shadows lengthening. Drawing in. Closing in. Red. Contentment. All at peace.
Moving on. Tomorrow another day. Renew. Forever. Waking. The natural order. Mission never accomplished” (6)
“The road is heavy. Carry on, lightning speed. Silver. Coming back to life. The cycle. Ready to start all over again.
Continual and continuous. Never ending. Keep going. Be alert” (6)
“Closing my eyes. Waiting room. Waiting to die. Waiting for (11) to call time” (10)
It is speculative of me as I have no clinical data yet on the remedy and I also recognise that a lot of the desire for quiet came
from oversensitivity to noise; but taking this into account, in some of the expressions above there seemed to be an almost
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drawing in, end of life quality. This would tie in perhaps with the difficulty breathing, needing deep breaths, so prominent in
the physical symptoms (see Physicals – respiration). And of course, when an affinity to the child is so clear in the remedy, its
also possible that the opposite pole of life will also be in the remedy. For example, like the remedy Baryta Carb. In fact, in
many ways it seems that this remedy is a spidery, edgier version perhaps of Baryta Carb.
Key words Happy; bright; smiley; euphoria; upbeat; fun; bubbly; sunshine; laughing /
Serious; death; destruction; despair; suicidal; heaviness; dark; numbness.
Flitting; changeability
- Cheerful (1)(2)(4)(8)(9)
o A song – “happy talking, happy talk, talk about things to do (4)
o Feel good, happy (8)
o Sparkling, bright, tinkling energy, smiley, mischievous, softness, quick (1)
o Much lighter, relaxed. Smiley, happier, pure sunshine, light, WHITE (2)
o So much lighter, feeling much more cheerful. Nice to have interaction. Outgoing (11)
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o Have started thinking about news I heard yesterday of a former pupil who hanged himself this week. (4)
- Mood, alternating (5)(6)(8)
o Flitting between moods – tired, lethargic /laughing, playful, no balanced state. Tired yet alert. Marked
changeability (5)
o Serious (6 C1 S6); Hilarity again (6 C2 G1)
- Delusions - World, destroyed (6)
o Fjords, whiteness. Lost in oblivion – feels fine. Experiencing quiet, blankness. The glaciers falling into
the sea – the world being destroyed. An icy threat. Deep breaths. The future. People’s cries. Death,
Vertigo
Key words Dizziness; light headed; spaced out; vertigo with nausea
Many provers complained of dizziness particularly prominent during Round1, sometimes accompanied by nausea. Prover 9
felt almost that was physically going to throw up and a sense of sea-sickness or as if drunk. Spaciness also came up (see
Mind – spaciness). This is of some interest to me as in Peter Fraser’s “Spiders” book there is reference to Aranea scinencia
jumping spider, an unproved remedy with few known symptoms – yet the feeling as if drunk is one of the known symptoms.
Head
Key words Confusion; fuzzy; muggy; heaviness; fullness; itchiness of scalp; lice; heat – red,
hot; clammy; rolling head; pain < noise; pain temples; pressure in head; sharp
Some of the confusion coming through in the mentals is also seen in “Confusion in head” with fuzzy, muggy, muzzy, cotton
headed sensations in a few provers. There was also a sense of fullness in the head, and the theme of “heaviness” also came
up, a heavy feeling in the head.
A picture of great itchiness of scalp was prominent, as if from lice in some cases. Before the proving started, when we were
assembling together in the morning there was a topic of conversation of headlice and itching heads. This was unplanned and
spontaneous and, although there is a possibility of suggestion, the fact that this subject came up at all and that so many
provers experienced sensations of itching heads, I think is relevant to the proving.
A common theme coming up in the physicals is a sensation of heat and this was experienced with by some as heat in the
head (5) red and hot, (6), (8) and (9). Prover 8 experienced clamminess and perspiration of scalp.
Another theme in the remedy touched on is movement and provers 10 and 11 experienced wanting to tilt or rock or roll head
from side to side, which was a pleasant sensation. Prover 8 felt her head felt loose on her shoulders.
Various provers experienced pain sensations particularly in the temples. Noise is an aggravation for the head pain especially
high pitched noises (9). A pressure sensation in the head is also mentioned by some; and a pressure sensation like something
sharp or pointy like a nail in top of head (9).
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Eye
Key words Closing eyes; sleepiness; heaviness; photosensitivity; sensory overload; “eyes like
slits”; > dark; dryness; watering; flickering /moving eyes; “all seeing eye”.
One of the bigger sections in the physicals as lots of data in the proving relating to eyes and vision. This is good to see as we
know from the biology section that jumping spiders’ eyes are quite a distinctive feature of this family of spiders.
Needing or wanting to close the eyes was a huge symptom, experienced by all provers. Associated with this in some cases
was overwhelming sleepiness (see Sleep section); but also in some cases there was a correlation between oversensitivity to
light and other stimuli, wanting to close eyes because + darkness (see Senses – too much!). Prover 5 expressed this as
photophobia, with desire to “to curl up and sleep / close eyes. Eyes like slits – sensitivity to light and noise (5) and prover 2
“can’t keep my eyes open. Sensory overload (2). There seems to be a definite amelioration from darkness which ties in with
the desire to close eyes.
The word “heaviness” comes up again, in terms of eyes or eyelids feeling heavy. Another word that crops up here and
elsewhere in the proving is Dryness. Although exposure to sac lac powder could contribute to this, it does come up fairly
regularly in other parts of the proving. In contrast to this, watering eyes was experienced by about 6 provers.
Again we see movement coming up. Prover 9’s eyes moving from side to side, everyone watching her (observation by
prover 5). Prover 10’s eyes flickering and body moving to rhythm of the grinding (observation by prover 4).
Prover 3 felt she was having a conversation with an eye as she was grinding and scraping the sac lac. “Let me go” said the
eye. The all seeing eye. Another eye – it won’t close. I’m careful not to hurt the eye. “I will guard you as you sleep” said the
eye. The eye wants to be closed now. “You don’t need me anymore” said the eye. “You can do this by yourself” (3). Prover
4 mentions “Prover 9 – my your eyes look big – all the better to see you with”(4).
Vision
Key words Acute; peripheral; clarity; 360 degrees / blurred; haziness; fogginess; < reading,
writing; dark lines or dots; “all the better to see you with”.
There was a strong contrast between acute peripheral vision and blurred vision. Prover 3 felt a clarity to her vison and Prover
5 in particular noted very strong peripheral vision, almost 360 degrees as if able to see behind her, but with a lack of focus
directly ahead. Again, this is fascinating in terms of the biology of the jumping spider which does have this ability of
peripheral vision, with its eight eyes position around its head.
On the other hand, many provers experienced blurriness of vision. Prover 9 felt this as like a film over her right eye, which
started the night before the proving and was very strong during the proving. Many provers had difficulty seeing to write
clearly. Other words that came up were haziness and fogginess.
Some visual disturbances or possibly illusions were noted. For example, prover 5 thought she could see black hairs in the
bowl – which weren’t there on closer inspection. Dark lines kept appearing on first opening eyes. I think it unlikely that this
was remnants of the substance left in the powder at this stage and prover 5 confirmed that it was not actual but rather
imagery. She also had a vision with eyes closed of the world with all its longitude and latitude lines clearly seen – which was
lovely imagery in terms of the web, although we know these are not web weaving spiders. Prover 9 had a similar
experience, seeing a black dot in the bowl “almost like a little beetle” – which she also saw at a late stage of the proving,
again which is why I think it unlikely that this was an actual remnant of the substance she was seeing.
Again the movement or connection to dizziness was felt by prover 9 “the eyes still feel funny, like everything is swaying”
(9).
Again, there was an aggravation from writing “vision suddenly goes funny when writing, as if it jumps sideways” (9). Prover
2 felt she was unable to see through the darkness, no flow. Prover 3 continued her conversation with the eye “its an eye –
I’ve made an eye, all the better to see you with”. (3).
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Ear
Key words Fullness; sensation of water in ear (right); sharp pressure; throbbing (left) >
pressure/lying on it; humming
The word “fullness” came up again, as also in the head section. Particularly right ear in prover 9, with a sensation of fullness,
pressure, as if water in it, right ear as if stopped. Prover 9 experienced this as a sharp pressure. I wonder if the remedy may
be useful in earache.
The theme of itching is also coming up, particularly inside the ear and the right ear seems to be more affected. However,
prover 5 did have an experience the night before the proving where she woke in the night and her left ear felt like plastic,
throbbing, which was > for lying on it or applying pressure.
Perhaps auditory illusions in terms of hearing a low humming was noted in at least four provers.
Hearing
Key words Acute; sharp; loud; magnified; illusions; buzzing; hypervigilant – hearing
intruders; vibration; < high pitched noises – ouch!
The huge sensitivity of the remedy again comes out with hearing but also see Mind section, (Theme – senses, too much!).
Hearing is acute, hearing noises downstairs (4), for example but also very aware of the sounds of scraping (6) and clanking
noises, which sounded sharp (8). Sounds seemed to be very loud – magnified (1).
Possibly auditory illusions again. Prover 5 thought she was told to stop but not (5). Prover 9 felt sounds sounded different
and create new sounds, like a big fly buzzing!! Prover 9 wondered is someone trying to get in? Think I can here knocking
(11). This may tie in with the hypervigilance/alert state that seems to come up (see Senses – Too much and Animal themes).
A fascinating observation by Prover 9 was that she felt she could feel movement/vibration in her legs. Hearing noises as
vibration. High pitched noises – ouch! (9). Prover 5 also touched on vibration – not hearing clearly human voice yet other
sounds crystal clear – a vibration (5).
Nose
Various provers reported a runny nose or blocked nose. Nose runny clear, watery, want to sniff (5). Itching is also reported.
Dryness also comes up again, “like inhaling dust” (9) – this could be associated with the sac lac powder/trituration process.
Face
Key words Tension and clenching of jaw; swollen; dryness; itching; tingling like a cold
sore; irritated by a hair sensation
A number of provers had a lot of tension in the jaw area and a sensation of clenching the jaw (see also Teeth grinding).
Prover 5 felt the bottom jaw felt clenched, jutted forward. Prover 9 felt a strong sensation in her right upper jaw, like a
bubble or swollen gland there and an almost toothache like sensation.
Dryness comes up again, with lots of dry lips. Itching is experienced particularly near eyes, nose and mouth; also of
eyebrows. A couple of provers felt a tingling like a coldsore sensation around the lips. There was also a sense of being
irritated by the sensation of a hair on the face.
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Again we see heat sensations, with a hot face. Some experienced perspiration with this.
Mouth
Dryness comes up again. Prover 5 felt as if tongue was burning. There was also salivation, profuse in two provers.
Ulcers seem to be a possible field of action in the remedy. Prover 9 had the sensation as if she’d bitten the inside of her
mouth, like an ulcer. Prover 3 woke up on the day after the proving with a huge ulcer on left under side of tongue. She
described it as a classic ulcer, huge, white with red raised edges, but was almost gone by two days later. Although she
confirmed she does suffer with mouth ulcers from time to time, this one was unusual as it cleared up quicker than normal.
Teeth
Prover 2 seemed quite concerned with her teeth, a desire to clean her teeth and the importance of brushing – even milk teeth.
(It is interesting to note the reference to milk teeth, given the affinity to children seen in the mentals). Her teeth felt ridged,
cracked. I speculate that the remedy has a syphilitic feel to it for various reasons but her description of the teeth here seems
syphilitic.
As noted in the face section, there is a desire to clench teeth together and bite teeth together, also grinding teeth.
Prover 9 felt a peculiar sensation in her left upper jaw, around the molar, like when you bite tin foil with a filling. Makes the
side of the face/cheek feel a bit enlarged. So could have an affinity to toothache.
Throat
Key words Dryness; irritating; tickly; lump in throat; sharp; heartburn; raw
- Dryness of throat ; associated with needing to clear throat and cough; dry tickly cough (see also Cough section);
- Several provers complained of a lump in throat, which prover 9 felt was irritating and frustrating. Prover 1 felt a
lump in throat which could be associated with the throat chakra and difficulties in communication;
- Prover 6 felt a sharp pain (the sensation sharp comes up quite frequently in the physicals);
- Prover 11 felt heartburn in her the throat; and prover 6 felt a harsh sensation there.
Stomach
A couple of provers (1) and (4) felt anxiety in their stomach; a churning or “collywobbles” in pit of stomach.
There was a good appetite noted by 4 provers – a couple quite impatient in round 2 in anticipation of lunch!
Lots of burping coming up (pardon the pun!). A sense of satisfaction from having a nice big burp. Sometimes difficulty in
burping, wanting to burp but cannot. Prover 9 felt burping > to release pressure from stomach.
Again we get the word “heaviness” coming up, stomach feeling heavy, “heavy belly feeling”.
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In correlation with the vertigo symptoms discussed, we have lots of reports of nausea by seven provers, provers 9 and 11
searching for a vomit bucket! For prover 9 in particular the nausea was associated with looking at moving objects, for
example seeing provers’ tables moving particularly affected her; as if sea sick. “Waves at sea!...Nausea strong << looking
into the bowl, << seeing motion. Thank god we’ve stopped (9). “I’ve reached the shore after a trip at sea” (9). Provers 9 and
11 also felt this sensation of nausea rising to their throat.
Prover 11 felt queasy, “I can feel my digestive system right from my throat down to my rectum – as if I can see it”.
Prover 3 made an interesting comment “circles, spirals and nausea. Cycle needs to be broken. Destruction of pattern, nausea
gone”, given the association with love of patterns in the mental section.
Abdomen
Some pain sensations noted in right lower abdomen, fleeting (prover 10) and flatulence moving through bowels, down left
side (prover 9). Prover 11 felt her gut was turning over, lower abdomen and a queasy sensation – like full of wriggling
worms in my abdomen (11).
Rectum
A pressing down pain/sensation in rectum for one prover, another prover noted bowels felt loose.
Urinary
Female
Dryness of vagina noted by one prover, itching of vagina by another. One prover felt a slight arousement in vaginal area.
Prover 3 felt a twinge in right ovary. Also a pulling inwards pain, left ovary.
Respiration
Key words Breathless; deep breathing; gasping; air hunger; yawning; > untwisting spine
I was surprised at the many references to breathing appearing in the proving. There was particularly a sense of needing to
take deep breaths “deep breathing – yawning, need more oxygen (3), desire to take deep breath (9), waiting to breathe deeply
(3); deep breaths (4), (6), (9), “alive, breathing...deep breaths (6). Also gasping for air (2) and (6); sighing to get breath out
(2). Yawning ameliorates (3) (4) (5) – “air hunger – yawning”. See also frequent reference to yawning in sleep section; and
a sense of difficulty in breathing.
In terms of breathlessness, the experiences of two provers in particular was quite marked:-
- Prover 2 described in her notebook her experience before the proving started: “Cried 10 minutes into my
journey/drive here today. Walking from car park to WSH. Thought heart attack going to happen. So breathless.
Major sobs on arriving at WSH, gasping for air. Prover 11 settled me. Crying with emotion, totally overwhelmed
emotionally (2).
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- Prover 3 described her experience of a curative effect noted during the proving:-
o “I’d not been able to take a deep breath for weeks but didn’t think anything of it. I just thought its
because I’m unfit and busy. It felt like I had only the top third of my lungs. This is unusual for me as I
was taught breathing from my stomach many years ago. Even though I couldn’t draw a deep breath, I
wasn’t breathless.” During the proving, she noticed that she could finally take a deep breath, “like a
weight had been lifted off my shoulders”. She felt herself “untwisting” (her spine and ribcage) during the
proving, and was breathing easier from her stomach again. (See also Back section, prover 3 has
scoliosis). Checking up with prover 3 on 30/04/16, just under two weeks after the proving, she reported
that her breathing has continued to be > since the proving.
This was one of the most striking physical curative effects noted in the proving, together with > skeletal alignment (see Back
section) and given the amount of provers experiencing difficulty breathing or needing deep breaths, and air hunger I am very
interested in this and feel it may be a good field of action in the remedy.
Cough
Back
Key words Skeletal alignment; sitting up straight; ram rod; untwisting; compressed or
fused spine; hump back; breathing < back straight; leaning to the side
A big affinity to skeletal alignment coming through here – and two provers experiencing something of a curative effect
during the proving in this respect. See also Generals – sitting up straight, ameliorates. Although anecdotal and not
specifically related to the proving, I was recounting to some interested homeopaths my experience of the proving at an event
some months after the trituration had taken place, and when mentioning the possible affinity to alignment, a lady mentioned
that was odd because as soon as I’d started talking about the proving she had felt the need to sit up straight, which I also
noted in myself. This is entirely speculative on my part, having no clinical data as yet, but I wonder if the remedy may have
an affinity to spinal deformations, possibly from in utero (with Prover 3 having an image in mind of a baby in utero). It
would match the syphilitic miasm which I think we see in the remedy, although it is also somewhat tubercular like many
spiders, with it love of freedom, wanting to escape, to move and the respiratory aspect to the remedy.
Prover 2 felt there was an affinity to a compressed or fused spine. Prover 3 felt right side back twinges, moving position in
spots – “feel like my twisted spine is straightening”. Humpback/ hunchback. Weight of world on it (3). Prover 10 wanted to
straighten back. Prover 3 associated the untwisting of spinde with being able to take a really deep breath, “like I have not
been able to for months”.
Various provers felt aches and pains, often in the neck region or between shoulder blades, also a lot of stiffness in neck
region and a need to stretch. This is perhaps not as striking as the sensation of alignment; given the context i.e. sitting at a
desk grinding and scraping over a pestle and mortar over a period of a day is likely perhaps to lead to some stiffness and
aches in the back and neck.
A sensation of heat in the back was noted by a couple of provers. Given its appearance in various physicals I think this may
be specific to the remedy.
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- Sensations travelling upwards (skeletal alignment) (8)
- Alignment feels important (9)
- Leaning to left side (10)
- Sit up straight. Align (6)
Prover 3 records that she has got scoliosis and cordosis and a deformed shoulder blade. As noted in the respiration section
she had been experiencing difficulties in taking a deep breath in the weeks prior to the proving but during the proving felt as
if her spine and rib cage was “untwisting” and she found she was able to breathe deeply again.
Another prover felt very aligned during the proving – and a sense of wellness with it, as if she was being aligned from the
feet upwards. With this upward alignment (which she described as an upward motion in the body) she also felt a sense of
peace, like she had taken an ecstasy drug, feeling good about herself, “liking myself”. Usually have a lot of busy, negative
thoughts but in the proving felt a sense of peace, the noise went. Felt positive, self-contained, confidence was up, lost
negativity, felt I was going up high with a sense of distance looking down on the pestle and mortarl.
Another prover went to a cranial osetopath the day after the proving, to have body realigned.
Extremities
Perhaps the biggest rubric in this section was “Incoordination”. Such was the feel of general incoordination being
experienced, both mentally and physically, it may be more appropriate to include this in the generals section.
In any event, we have awkwardness, fingers: (3) and (5) – “my fingers won’t turn the page”. Under incoordination, lost of
symptoms:-
During coffee break between rounds 1 and 2, prover 5 couldn’t open the coffee - uncoordinated. Slow thinking, sloth like –
how do I open the packet? (5).
A polarity to this was seen in a sense of multi-tasking, ability to use both hands – I can write and scrape at the same time!
(10) and “happy to use both hands – I’m right handed” (8); almost a sense of ambidextrousness coming through; whereas
prover 3, though left handed, felt she had to use her right hand.
Another notable theme was sensitivity in the feet and legs. Prover 5 had a peculiar experience during the lunch hour, where
she stood up and experienced a very sharp shooting pain in her left heel. Later, during round 3 when taking off her shoe, a
stone flew out and hit the pestle. She realised that the pain could have been the stone in her shoe –but noted an added
sensitivity in feet – to pain, to vibration, desire to have bare feet, to increase the contact to the vibration.
Prover 2 also need for her feet to be in contact with the floor: “I would normally sit cross legged in a chair as I’m more
comfortable with my legs like that. I adopted that position when we first sat in the room but had extreme urge to keep them
in contact with the floor because I was in hyper alert mode. My sense of sound and vibration was so acute. Intruder threat
was uppermost in my mind, that’s why I checked the front door was locked a few times!
As noted previously, prover 9 was very sensitive to vibrations – “(10) is banging her bowl and I can feel the vibration in my
left leg – my leg is picking up the movements / bangs in the room” (9) (see also mental theme Senses – too much!). She a lso
felt a tingling sensation in her legs. Prover 5 felt very still inside but noticed both legs twitching. Also a sudden awareness of
feet and legs, previously had been in head.
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A feeling of stiffness and desire to stretch out limbs was quite common. Heaviness is also coming up again – “Limbs feel
heavy” (6).
Sleep
Key words Sleepy; eyes heavy; close eyes; tired; soporific; overwhelming; curl up; yawning;
insomnia;
One of the most striking themes in the physicals was related to sleep, as also seen in the Dreams section. Sleepiness was
experienced by many provers; with great desire to sleep:-
- I feel so slow - I’m so tired. I want to sleep and sleep and sleep. My mind is no longer in control. Sleep is needed
now! (3)
- A lullaby, being rocked to sleep. Everybody is yawning. Soporific. Overwhelming desire to close eyes. I could just
go to sleep. What if? Warm and comfy. Curl up like a cat, on top of the oven (9)
- Want to sleep, peace, quiet. TOO LOUD!!! Yawning, too tired, need to rest, I want my bed (2)
- Feeling very tied leaning forward, almost like I could fall into bowl head first (8)
- Sleepy; close eyes, leaning forward. Everything so loud around me. Are we nearly finished? (10)
- Insomnia. So tired (2)
“The little itches are waking me up, keeping me awake, so I don’t drift off completely (9)
Also a lot of yawning with sleepiness, desire to stretch and yawn and frequent yawning reported by lots of provers.
- “So heavy and tired and yet so alert at the same time” (5)
- Renewed vigour; awake now (3)
- Energy/awakens. Smiling (8)
- Lots of energy – me and everyone I think (11)
- I feel so much more awake and alert and energetic (9)
So a big sleep picture is emerging. From the “Dreams” section we can note that there were several provers who woke in the
night and had difficulty in getting back to sleep but I don’t think the overwhelming sleepiness experienced – often quite
early in the day, before lunch – can be explained by this. The fact there were sleep problems in the night is indicative that
there is an affinity to sleep disorders in the remedy. Such was intensity of some of the provers experiences, sometimes quite
sudden sleepiness, it makes me think of sleep disorders such as narcolepsy.
Dreams
The dreams recorded are set out in full in the Dreams part of the Repertory section. The main themes are summarised as
follows:-
- Disturbed sleep; waking during the night: (1), (2), (3), (5), (6), (11)
o From 2:40am until 5:30am (1)
o Awake at midnight. Restless sleep before then..Couldn’t sleep, got up at 4am (2)
o Woke up at 3:30am. Can’t remember time when back to sleep but it was after 4am (3)
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o 3:30am. I was up and at the bottom of the bed, feeling awake and needing to move. Waking up as if
commanded to do so (5)
o Around 4am found myself wide awake and very alert – I don’t know why. Tried to get back to sleep but
couldn’t for a couple of hours (6)
o Asked to dream with remedy. Unusually cosy, comfortable night with much less heat and restlessness
than usual. Put out a pad to record dreams. Woke up at least three times and moved out of bed
straightaway – extremely alert (most unusual), knew I had dreamed but could not remember anything
(11)
So a picture of disturbed sleep and waking in the night, often between midnight and 4am or around 3:30pm, waking and not
able to get back to sleep. A number of provers felt they had to get up. Two provers in particular had a very odd sensation in
respect of this; prover 5 felt almost compelled or commanded to get up and prover 11 also felt she had to move out of bed
straightaway on waking, very alert which was unusual for her. This seems to be an “SRP” of the remedy – waking in the
night feeling alert with a compulsion to get up. Contrasted with the great sleepiness in the day. I set out the above in the
Dreams section, as provers were asked to record dreams in their notebooks – there were not a lot of dreams recorded but this
unusual experience of insomnia.
In terms a few dreams that were recorded, prover 2’s dream ten days prior to the proving I thought was interesting, “in white
swirly substance, stuck, dark, anxious, rigid. (Some of these phrases are matched in the prover’s experience on the day,
especially her experience of being in a white coil like Mr Whippy. I was delighted to tell her at the end of the proving that I
had observed the spiders weaving a white coil around themselves in which they rest or sleep.
The colour white comes up again and an association with teeth in prover 9’s dream of pain in right cheekbone as if there was
a white chip missing from it; had to hold it with my fingers (9). She also experienced this pain sensation in the proving.
Prover 5 woke with throbbing in her left ear, better for applying pressure. So > pressure is coming up a little.
In contrast, black imagery in a dream of a black horse rearing, trying to escape from an overturned carriage (10).
There was a small pattern of things being communicated in sleep. For example, in prover 2’s dream above, she was having
doubts about taking part in the proving. Prover 5 visited her in the dream and told her not to make a decision until she sees
her. A prover 2 said, she did not see prover 5 until the day of the proving, and felt able to continue with the proving.
Keeping with this theme of communication, prover 5 heard voices in her dream, and that one of the provers had to tell her
something. She also felt during the proving that there was a link to communication, thinking about words, patterns, word
games, WWW. Also, although not a dream, prover 9 recorded that she had received an email on the morning of the proving
from someone she knew over 20 years ago, who had felt the need to get in touch. My own dream before the proving
included a young boy, perhaps toddler age but who was non-verbal. Suddenly he was able to communicate.
Perspiration
Skin
An indication that blisters might be particular in the remedy. Five provers experienced this. Again, arguably the process of
trituration – grinding and scraping, might account for some of this but one of the provers who experienced that has taken part
in a lot of triturations and she had not experienced blisters to this degree previously.
Prover 3 experienced a boil in her hairline coming up (on the right side) the day before the proving and by the day after the
proving it had almost gone. This was a new symptom for her so I think related to the remedy.
Provers 2 and 5 felt there might be an affinity to ulcers. This would seem to be backed up by Prover 3’s experience of a
mouth ulcer (see Mouth section) after the proving.
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Generals
Key words + dancing; + open air; + sun (also ++ darkness); + bare feet; Dryness, of usually
moist internal parts; eructations >, Food and drink +/- coffee; ++ nuts; + sweet;
HOT; sweating; Lassitude, lethargy / increased energy; motion < vision, >
stiffness; + fast motion, + rhythm; right sided; ambidextrous; > sitting up
straight, > stretching, > sun
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3.3 Idea of Zebra
The following is a summary of the proving data; which has not yet been used clinically but is intended
as an indication only of the remedy from the findings of the proving:-
MODALITIES:
Better: open air, sun and/or darkness; bare feet; solitude and quiet; movement (rhythmical); stretching,
sitting up straight; own company; activity – tasks, methodical
Worse: heat (of warm room); NOISE, being observed
MAIN SYMPTOMS:
Mind themes:
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GENERALS
- + dancing, movement
- + open air, sun / also darkness
- + bare feet
- Dryness, of usually moist internal parts
- > eructations
- +/- coffee, + nuts, + sweet
- HOT – sweating
- Lassitude, lethargy / increased energy
- Stiffness,+ stretch
- + motion, rhythm
- Mainly right sided
- Pains sharp and shooting
PARTICULARS
Vertigo: Dizziness, light headed; with nausea; like sea sickness
Head: Confusion, muggy, heaviness; fullness
Itching of scalp; sensation of heat in head
Eye: Desire to close eyes; heaviness; photosensitivity; > dark
Vision: Acute peripheral; blurred, haziness, < reading, writing; illusions
Ear: Sensation of water in ear; pressure in ear
Hearing: Acute; sounds loud, magnified, painful.
Nose: Runny! Watery, irritation
Face: Tension and clenching of jaw; dry lips; coldsores
Mouth: Dryness, ulcers; salvation
Teeth: Grinding, clenched; ridged;
Throat: Dryness; irritation, lump in throat
Stomach: Churning, anxiety in stomach, eructations; nausea
Female: Dryness, vaginal,twinge in ovaries
Respiration: Need for deep breathing; gasping, air hunger; > yawning, > spine straightening
Cough: Dry, tickly
Back: Skeletal alignment, > sitting up straight, ram rod. Sense of scoliosis of spine
untwisting
Extremities: Uncoordinated; awkwardness / but also ambidextrousness; sensitivity of feet;
sharp pains in feet; + contact with floor; feeling vibrations in legs;
Sleep: Very sleepy, soporific, cannot keep eyes open; yet at night - waking at unusual
hours and feeling unusually awake, insomnia; woken as if compelled to get
up;
Perspiration: Hot, profuse
Skin: Itching, blisters, ulcers;
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4. Conclusion
4.1 Future plans
Co-incidentally, as I write this final section, early May 2017, almost exactly two years on since first meeting Zebra in my
back yard, I spied a little Zebra today. The first I’ve seen this year. It felt good to see her again; I knelt down on the ground,
on her level. Upon becoming aware of my movement she turned round and stopped briefly, looked at me defiantly, turned
and skedaddled! Aren’t you finished with me yet? Not quite, Zebra. I hope that this will not be the last time we meet. If I
encounter your energy pattern in a patient, I hope I will recognise it. If others find this proving useful, in terms of our spider
materia medica I would love to hear about this with any feedback in terms of clinical data or experiences with the remedy.
My email is: katydavies333@gmail.com
4.2 Bibliography
1. Jumping Spider – Amazing Creature Series – by Tanya Tucker
2. www.arkive.org
3. www.wildlifetrusts.org
4. Wikipedia
5. Ibid.
6. Tate acquires Louise Bourgeois’ giant spider, Maman, 2008-01-11
7. Bitten in the Soul – by Massimo Mangialavori and Hans Zwemke
8. Ibid.
9. Portia fimbriata – The incredible power of a tiny little one – a proving by Brigitte Klotzsch
10. www.Proving.com
11. The Organon of the Medical Art – 6th Edition – by Dr Samuel Hahnemann
12. The Trituration Handbook – “Into the heart of homeopathy” by Anneke Hogeland & Judy Schriebman
13. Ibid.
14. Spiders – Suspended between Earth and Sky – by Peter Fraser
15. Ibid.
16. Ibid.
17. Ibid.
18. Ibid.
19. Ibid.
4.3 Acknowledgements
Heartfelt thanks to:-
- The Welsh School of Homeopathy! A loving and supportive space to carry out a trituration in – and, in which to
become a homeopath!
- The provers that gave of themselves to the substance on the day of the trituration so wholeheartedly – without
them this proving would just be an idea rather than a reality. Also to my timekeeper, thank you!
- Linda Gwillim – for helping me keep Zebra secret for over a year, for not thinking me mad when I told her I was
going about catching moths for my pet Zebra, (or perhaps being kind enough not to say so!), for support in the
process of the Trituation and trusting me to “hold the space” and, I could go on. For her encouragement, sense of
humour and guidance throughout – thank you!
- Bill Rumble – for being Bill! And, inspiring me in a love of African drumming – helping me to find my inner
spider!
- John Morgan and Helios - for potentising Zebra and for tips on obtaining pestles and mortars and checking
proving information; huge thanks and gratitude.
- My friends at WSH for their encouragement, love and humour throughout this process.
- My daughter Eva, for being who she is; and for not thinking her mother had gone nuts at various times during this
process!
- Last and not least – thank you to Zebra, a little spider with a big character; for bringing me into your World, for
sharing your secrets and gifts that I hope may be of healing benefit to those human beings that may dance to your
beat!
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