12 Tips For Making and Keeping Friends

D
12 TIPS FOR MAKING AN

KEEPING FRIENDS
1. Reach out. Don’t always wait for someone else to make the first move. A simple
“hi” and a smile go a long way.
2. Get involved. Join clubs that interest you. Take special classes inside or
outside of school. Be a volunteer.
3. Let people know you’re interested in them. Don’t just talk about yourself;
ask questions about them.
4. Be a good listener. Look at people while they’re talking to you. Pay attention
to what they say.
5. Risk telling people about yourself. When it feels right, let them in on your
interests, your talents, and what’s important to you. But . . .
6. Don’t be a show-off. Not everyone you meet will have your abilities and
interests. (On the other hand, you shouldn’t have to hide them—which you
won’t, once you find friends who like and appreciate you.)
7. Be honest. Tell the truth about yourself, what you believe in, and what
you stand for. When asked for your opinion, be sincere. Friends appreciate
truthfulness in each other. But . . .
8. Be kind. There are times when being tactful is more important than being
totally honest. The truth doesn’t have to hurt.
9. Don’t just use your friends as sounding boards for your problems.
Include them in the good times, too.
10. Do your share of the work. That’s right—work. Any relationship takes effort.
Don’t always depend on your friends to make the plans and carry all the
weight.
11. Be accepting. Not all of your friends have to think and act like you do.
(Wouldn’t it be boring if they did?)
12. Learn to recognize the so-called friends you can do without. Some
people get so lonely that they put up with anyone—including friends who
aren’t really friends at all.
Adapted from The Gifted Teen Survival Guide: Smart, Sharp, and Ready for (Almost) Anything by Judy Galbraith, M.A., and Jim Delisle, Ph.D.,
copyright © 2011 Free Spirit Publishing Inc.
From The New Bully Free Classroom® by Allan L. Beane, copyright © 2011. Free Spirit Publishing Inc., Minneapolis, MN; 800-735-7323; www.freespirit.com.
This page may be reproduced for individual, classroom, and small group work only. For all other uses, contact www.freespirit.com/company/permissions.cfm.
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MY FAVORITES
Your name: _____________________________________ Today’s date: ________________________

My favorite TV show _______________________________________________________________________
My favorite place to go ___________________________________________________________________
My favorite thing to do in my free time _____________________________________________________
The thing I like most about school __________________________________________________________
The thing I like least about school __________________________________________________________
My favorite athlete/sports personality ______________________________________________________
My favorite radio station __________________________________________________________________
My favorite food __________________________________________________________________________
My favorite place to eat ___________________________________________________________________
I like people who . . . ______________________________________________________________________
I don’t like it when people . . . _____________________________________________________________
My favorite magazine _____________________________________________________________________
My favorite book _________________________________________________________________________
My favorite movie ________________________________________________________________________
My favorite website _______________________________________________________________________
The job I’d like to have when I grow up _____________________________________________________
My favorite game _________________________________________________________________________
My favorite video game ___________________________________________________________________
My greatest hope _________________________________________________________________________
My biggest worry _________________________________________________________________________
If I could go anywhere in the world, I’d go to . . . ___________________________________________
My favorite type of music __________________________________________________________________
My favorite singer/group/musician ________________________________________________________
My favorite actor/actress __________________________________________________________________
The person I admire most __________________________________________________________________
My favorite time of the day ________________________________________________________________
88
THE ASSERT FORMULA
A stands for Attention. Before you can talk about and try to solve
a problem you’re having with someone else, you need to get his or her
attention. Example: “Sean, I need to talk to you about something. Is now a
good time?”
S stands for Soon, Simple, and Short. Speak up as soon as you realize
that your rights have been violated. Look the person in the eye and keep
your comments brief and to the point. Example: “It’s about something that
happened in the hall today.”
S stands for Specific Behavior. What did the person do to violate your
rights? Focus on the behavior, not the person. Be as specific as you can.
Example: “I didn’t like it when you pushed me against my locker, I dropped
my books, and you kicked them across the hall.”
E stands for Effect on Me. Share the feelings you experienced as a result
of the person’s behavior. Example: “It was embarrassing, plus I was late for
class. I had to wait for the hall to clear before I could pick up my books.”
R stands for Response. Wait for a response from the other person. He or
she might try to brush you off with “What’s the big deal?” or “Don’t be a
baby” or “Can’t you take a joke?” or “So what?” Don’t let it bother you. At
least it’s a response. On the other hand, the person might apologize.
T stands for Terms. Suggest a solution to the problem. Example: “I want
you to stop bothering me in the hall. If you don’t, I’ll report you to the
teacher.”
Tips: The ASSERT Formula may feel strange and awkward at first. It isn’t
foolproof, and it won’t always work. In some situations—for example,
bullying that involves physical violence—it might make things worse. And
some kids love getting any kind of response, even an assertive response. If
your being assertive seems to anger or provoke the person who is bullying
you, walk away or run away.
Adapted from Fighting Invisible Tigers: Stress Management for Teens, copyright © 2008 by Earl Hipp, Free Spirit Publishing Inc.
89

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12 TIPS FOR MAKING AN

Your name: _____________ Today’s date:

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