By: Tony Dillett: (Xiii) Cyber-Bullying

By: Tony Dillett
(xiii) Cyber-bullying
Bullying is aggressive behavior that is intentional and involves the exercise of power by
an individual over someone that is weaker. This behavior is not a one time occurrence
but is repeated over time until the person being victimized becomes totally helpless and
fearful of the person who is intimidating him/her. Traditionally, schoolyard bullying took
several forms that included physical and verbal abuse. It also took the form of
intimidation and social isolation. That type of bullying still goes on but another more
dangerous form has come on the scene with the advent of the Internet. This type of
bullying can be even more dangerous because the perpetrator can do damage and remain
anonymous. Sometimes it is more difficult to identify the culprit. However, help is only a
mouse click away by employing a monitoring software that can be accessed by clicking
on the following links SpectorSoft for Windows or SpectorSofr for Macintosh.
Cyber-bullying is when someone repeatedly makes fun of another person online
or repeatedly picks on another person through emails or text messages, or uses online
forums and postings online intended to harm, damage, humiliate or isolate another person
that they don’t like. (Wikipedia) The National Crime Prevention Council also weighed
in on this matter and stipulated that cyber-bullying is when a person uses an electronic
device such as the Internet, cell phone, email, post text or images to embarrass, hurt or
harm another person. Whatever form bullying takes, whether it is the old fashioned kind
or the technologically advanced cyber-bullying, this type of behavior is not to be
tolerated and must be stamped out no matter where it originates.
Schoolyard bullying and cyber bullying are different and experts in the former
type of bullying might not be able to understand fully the insidious nature of putting
things out there in cyberspace that are not as tangible as the bully in the schoolyard. As
mentioned above cyber bullying can be done anonymously. The bully in the schoolyard is
seen and is known by all who suffer at his or her hands. Schools can and should be
actively involved in bullying on school premises and on busses as they transport children
to and from school. However, it would be difficult, if not impossible, for them to be
involved in cyber bullying that takes place outside of school hours. If schools become
involved in cyber bullying that takes place off school premises, they could be criticized,
or worse sued, for exceeding their authority and for violating the child’s freedom of
speech.
One of the themes throughout this e-book is the critical involvement of parents in
their children’s cyberspace experience. Parents’ involvement in this area is no exception.
Children must be aware that their parents are their first line of defense against anyone
who would do them harm and this includes the cyber bully. Parents must learn to be less
reactive to perceived wrong doing on the part of our children, be more supportive and
listen to what they have to say. Sometime parents must just listen and not be quick to
interject their thought on any given subject. Ask “Do you want to hear what I think?’,
rather than give opinions or answers to questions that have not even been asked. Parents
will be pleasantly surprised at how much good will they will establish with their children.
This will eventually lead to trust and openness particularly when children are afraid and
unsure of action they should take in a given circumstance. Assure your child that you are
there to help and not to make things worse for them.
Cyber bullying usually takes two forms -- direct attacks and cyber bullying by
proxy:
Direct Attacks encompasses action aimed directly at an individual and includes such
direct communication methods as:

Instant messaging (IM) sending hurtful or threatening messages to other children

Blogs: online journals that may be used maliciously to spread rumors about other
children

Internet Polling: Sending out messages to other children in the same school asking
who is the prettiest, ugliest, who is dumb, etc

Sexting: Sending nude, semi nude or degrading pictures of children. This type of
direct attack is punishable by law and may carry the stigma of branding the
offender as a child molester. (refer tos cribd.com for a more detailed coverage of
this subject)
Cyber bullying by Proxy: The bully gets someone else to do their work. Even parents
may be caught up in this web without realizing that they are being used.

Internet account: The bully gets hold of a victim’s account and sends out
emails in the victim’s name

Parents may be duped into thinking their child is doing something wrong and
punishes the child.

The Cyber bully can post information about a victim in hate group’s chat
rooms or in child molester’s chat rooms. All the bully has to do is provide the
screen name and/or cell phone number in the chat rooms.
According to Common Sense Media (www.commonsensemedia.org), some 24%
of teens they polled admitted that they had “hacked into someone else’s social network,
giving them the ability to communicate as that person.” This information confirms the
very serious threat and actuality of bullies using their computer savvy to intimidate and
harass other teens. Common Sense Media has also pointed out that parents are out of the
loop and really underestimate how much time their children are spending in social
networks. “Families need to keep up regular conversations about life in a digital world
and what it means to be a safe, smart digital citizen -- including ethical behavior, privacy,
bullying, and reputation management.”
It cannot be overstressed that parents must be involved in the lives of their
children, not in an overbearing manner or in any way infringe on their privacy. This is a
very delicate road to travel in dealing with teenagers but bear in mind that their safety is
of paramount importance. It is very important that your children are aware of your
concerns while at the same time give them their space to grow into confident, productive
adults.

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By: Tony Dillett

on the following links SpectorSoft for Windows or SpectorSofr for Macintosh.

Cyber-bullying is when someone repeatedly makes fun of another person online

or the technologically advanced cyber-bullying, this type of behavior is not to be

tolerated and must be stamped out no matter where it originates.

their children’s cyberspace experience. Parents’ involvement in this area is no exception.

there to help and not to make things worse for them.

direct communication methods as:

screen name and/or cell phone number in the chat rooms.

According to Common Sense Media (www.commonsensemedia.org), some 24%

bullying, and reputation management.”

It cannot be overstressed that parents must be involved in the lives of their

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