Online Etiquette

Communicating online in discussions groups and through email requires basic etiquette, and there are some
basic principles to keep in mind to make this working well in an academic setting.

Understand your audience

Often we associate with those who think as we do and share our basic beliefs and culture, but in this class,
you will be meeting people from all over the world who are very different from you. The age range in
community college classes is from 15-85 with the average age 27. So in addition to seeing things differently,
the rules for polite social interchange can be different. Keep that in mind as you write and read what others
have to say about the issues you are discussing.

There is a big difference between the vocabulary, tone, shared knowledge, and familiarity of chatting with
friends in the cafeteria and the way you might speak in a classroom. The same is true for online discussions.
This is not to say that you have to be overly formal with your classmates, but it does mean that you need to
take into consideration the character and diversity of the audience you are writing for.

Use I statements when giving your opinions

Instead of saying something like "the writer we read this week was terrible, " acknowledge that others might
actually like the piece you disliked so intensely. Qualify your remarks with, "I had a hard time understanding
this piece and would never read it if I didn't have to." That will give more room for others who had a different
reaction than you to respond back. If you state your opinion as fact, it leaves little room for disagreement.

It is also better to use "I statements" rather than " you" statements when replying to someone when you
have a difference of opinion. Consider the tone in the following:
• You statement: You aren't clear about this story. Mabel is not an unskilled woman...

• I statement: I interpret the character of Mabel differently. I see her as a woman with many skills. For
example...
Show you have listened
When you disagree and want to offer a different perspective, one way to show respect for others' points of
view is to summarize what they said briefly (in your own words) before you share your own perspective to
show that you have understood what he/she is trying to say. (Perhaps you misunderstood and they will then
have an opportunity to correct the misperception.)

This is not the same thing as copy and pasting what the writer just said; it is rewording it in your own words
so that you have to process it yourself. Sometimes when you do that, you realize that you didn't read the
writer's words correctly because you were reading quickly.

It's very important in a deep conversation in which true learning is taking place both to listen deeply and to
speak your own truth. No one is telling you to be polite at all costs and never disagree; just do it with
respect.

Take a look at this interchange on a discussion forum. The students were discussing an conversation
between two characters in a short story in which the depressed wife Susan tried to tell her husband what
was bothering her:

John: Susan's inability to handle life was probably handled properly by Matthew. I think I
were in his shoes, I would also have tried to explain to Susan how I am never free either. I
know when explaining things to women you must be sensitive, you must be less than
suggesting, and you must always agree even when you would like not to. I feel Matthew's
suggestion for a vacation was a good one but maybe he should have more sensitively said
something like, "let's schedule us a holiday this weekend." Matthew's biggest mistake was
probably when he raised his voice. When a women is in such a state where she feels like the
 world is coming down on her it is best to ask questions and listen. As far as Susan she
should speak everything that is on her mind and be more open to Matthew's suggestions.
We have not yet learned how to read a woman's mind.

Mary: (Note how Mary restates John's ideas and validates them before she gives her own.) I
hear you saying that the communication problem was primarily Susan's-that she needed to
tell Matthew what was wrong so he could help her do something about it and that his helping
her with advice was the right thing to do. I understand that impulse to help and don't think it
is a bad one. It comes from a good place-you want to help.

However, as a woman, when I'm upset, I want some space to talk and be heard. Did you
notice how Matthew interrupted Susan to tell her that her feelings about not ever being free
were not valid since he was never free either? To me, that completely invalidated her sense
of being trapped in her life by his telling her it wasn't "rational." It also took the focus off of
Susan and put it on him. I personally don't like it when anyone gives me unsolicited advice.
All I really want is to be heard.

It would have been better, of course, if Susan had been able to express herself fully, but let's
face it; this was not a sane woman-- she was so depressed she killed herself at the end of
the story, so her ability to think logically was obviously messed up, and part of her problem
was Matthew. What man wouldn't think that having an affair was a problem for his wife and
to suggest a foursome with his girlfriend and someone Susan might date is hardly a way to
invite real sharing. I think that Matthew didn't want to hear what Susan had to say because
then he would have to deal with it and change his life to help her.

John: (Note how John restates Mary's point of view before replying.) I see what you mean. It
was hard for me to see from Susan's point of view because I really identify with Matthew.
Susan probably did want to be heard, and considering what happened in the story, it would
have been a good idea for Matthew to listen instead of jumping in there with solutions. Her
real problem was not what she was telling him anyway, and if he had heard her out, maybe
he would have seen that.

But in defense of Matthew, Susan never said what she was thinking. This communication
thing has to be a two-way street and maybe he had that affair because he wanted to get her
attention. He did tell her about it and what did she do? She got quiet and decided it wasn't
rational to cry or get upset. If my girlfriend didn't react to my doing something like that, I
would think she didn't care.

Reread what you wrote before you click "Send"

This is especially important when you feel strongly about what you are writing or if you are replying to
something that has stirred strong emotions in you. Wait until you have had time to consider the tone and
attitude of your words. The beauty of online interactions is that we can write out what we want to say and
then revise before we actually communicate these things. Be sure that the words you write in response to
another are ones that will promote understanding and communication.

Flaming and objectionable comments

In online communication there is a word for angry outbursts-flaming. Someone vents his/her feelings in an
inappropriate way (often harshly criticizing), and others either ignore it or "fan the flame" by contributing to it.
This is, of course, not appropriate in any classroom.

In addition to flaming, profanity and any derogatory remarks about race, gender, sexual orientation,
nationality, religion, etc. are not acceptable. Should you read anything along these lines in any discussion
forum, please email me immediately and let me deal with it.

Ask for feedback if you are unsure how something you said will be understood
There are real people who will be reading and responding to what you have to say and should you be
unsure of how something you said was received, you can write the person directly by clicking on his/her
name in the discussion forum or through Email in the course menu.
 Write substantial and thoughtful responses to your classmates
"I agree, " "ditto, " and "amen" do not show that you have heard what your classmate said at all. What do
you agree with specifically? Show your classmates that you have seriously read and considered their words
and respond with your own reflections and ideas. You might be surprised that as you write, you make
important connections. Writing generates thinking and insight.

Stay on the topic being discussed

There are specific assigned topics being discussed in the threads each week. Please stay on these topics.

If you need to discuss another aspect of the course.perhaps something you did not understand in the
reading, a question you have about an assignment, or a famous writer you heard about who will be
appearing in Dallas. create a new thread for that discussion and name it.

Please do not add threads on anything that is not course related.

Avoid giving personal advice

There will be times when classmates will illustrate a point they are making with a story from their life. Please
do not respond with your personal advice about how you think they should handle the situation. If someone
directly asks for advice, it is appropriate to give it, but wait for the invitation.

Avoid using all CAPS

Sometimes students set the computer to write in all capital letters because they can type faster that way.
There are two reasons not to do this. First, it is more difficult for others to read, and second, it is interpreted
as shouting at the reader.

Avoid sarcasm
Without your voice and facial expressions to show the tone you are using, sarcasm can be read literally
which is usually the exact opposite of what you meant to convey.

Do not use abbreviations

In informal online writing there are all sorts of abbreviations used such as T/Y (thank you) or BTW (by the
way) OTOH (on the other hand). Please keep in mind that you are communicating with classmates who may
not be familiar with the jargon of the Internet, and you will completely lose them with these abbreviations.
Write out phrases that you might abbreviate with friends.

Consider this email sent to a professor:

i am just getting in right now it's like 6 in the morning and i came str8 to the UTA campus to see your
response on what i need to do. Ok on the Quiz issue ur office hours are during the times i am working. So i
am not sure what u want to do about that please let me know ur decisions about all these issues as soon as
you can.

As you can see, the student is writing without punctuation, capitalization, and using abbreviations in an
informal manner which may be fine with her friends, but not clear communication to the audience of her
teacher.

Enjoy the intimacy, but respect the privacy

Online courses are curiously intimate settings. Students often express themselves more fully to peers in
their online class than they would be able to do in on-campus classes. This allows for some deep and
meaningful conversations and discussions. Be mindful of privacy, and do not forward anything that is written
in our course to anyone else unless you have the writer's permission.
Keep in mind that online writing is public so be circumspect about what you choose to share with classmates
and aware that you are making public your ideas when you send them out. With that in mind, do not mention
the specific names of people when you are using something from your life experience as an example to
make a point in a forum if naming them could embarrass them or you.
Do not feel you need to respond to everyone in the class
There will be many voices in the forum each week, and you won't be able to respond to them all. In fact,
fewer in depth responses will add more to the conversations than brief, perfunctory ones.

Forgive
We are all learning in this class and sometimes will say something that may not fully express what we mean.
If you feel the need to correct what someone has said, think carefully and write with compassion and
kindness.

And forgive yourself if you get excited and carried away at one point or another. I have enabled the "modify"
feature on ecampus so you can go back and revise your postings.

No one expects you to be perfect in online communication, but to the best of your ability, remember to focus
on clarity of communication to a reader. This is not journal writing in which you are writing to discover what
you think without worrying about whether anyone else understands it.

Be a good teacher
Enjoy teaching and learning from each other. We are all teachers in this class and what you say in a forum
may be the most important thing that a student hears all semester. Take the work seriously and you will find
yourself at a very different place by the end of the semester.

Written by Rica Garcia, Faculty English Online Instructor