Donovan Mora

COMM-2120-D17

October 18, 2020

Skill Assignment #3

1. Complete the Personal Listening Style Profile on p. 198 of the textbook. What is
your preferred personal listening style? Describe one advantage and
one disadvantage of this style, according to the text. 3,7,3,2,6,2,6,2,2,6,6,2
A: My score to the Personal Listening Style Profile test was: 19,7,6,15, and what
I deduced from that is that I’m good at relational listening and a good critical listener, but
I’m not good at analytical listening or task-oriented listening. I prefer to try and see what
people really feel instead of what they say, but I form judgements throughout the whole
story and I note contradictions in their story, even if I don’t directly call people out on it.
An advantage to listening like this is that I know when people are lying to me about their
feelings and I can usually get people to talk about what’s bothering them, but a
disadvantage to this is that I don’t always see it from their point of view, but objectively,
especially if what they’re saying contradicts something that I think I have good
knowledge about.

2. View the following comedic skit (1:41) and analyze the listening styles. What listening
style do you think she prefers from her mate? What listening style is he probably using
in this situation? Can you relate in any way to this skit? If so, explain. Additionally, make
some suggestions for ways to bridge differences between listening styles in order to
reach mutual satisfaction in personal relationships like this. 
A: I think that he was using critical listening, and she probably just wanted him to
use relational listening or analytical listening. I can relate to the guy in the skit because I
can sometimes be pretentious if I think I know the reason (even if I know I do) and its
annoying to be in that situation, but sometimes people just need to rant. I feel like if they
came to an agreement of listening to the whole story before making suggestions they
would both end up with a happy compromise, where she can rant and have support
from her husband, and then she can see from an objective point of view what might be
the issue and they can come to a solution together.

3. Reflect on your own listening abilities. What challenges to effective listening do you face most often?
[The text authors name a few, but you may also suggest your own if you think of something different from the text.]
Suggest specific ways to overcome such challenges.
A: Challenges I face to effective listening is that if people are contradicting themselves a
lot, I tend to get a bit irritated or start making judgements on their character instead of
listening to everything that they have to say, which leads me to making discriminatory
judgements on future stories that they have to tell, i.e. if a friend were to say he had Red
Lobster for dinner last night but I knew he ate at home, I would think he is lying about anything
extraordinary he brings up in future conversations or stories.
4. Watch student Katie Owens describe the value of active listening below (3:19). Suggest reasons for
overcoming challenges and improving your own listening skills. Why is good listening important to you? Be as
thorough, precise and concrete as possible. Give at least three reasons. 
Reasons for overcoming challenges and improving listening skills is very important
because, like in Katie’s situation, if you are more involved with distractions and other stuff
instead of the person you’re with, you won’t really be listening to them and it will ruin
relationships because people will think you don’t care. Good listening is important to me
because I want to be in a relationship one day and if I can’t listen to my girlfriend, I probably
won’t be able to keep her for very long. I really think that good listening is important because
without being able to actively listen to someone, you make them feel like they’re unimportant
to you and that makes them feel upset. I know what its like to be spoken over and I understand
that its not a great feeling when you’re really excited to try and say something and people don’t
either let you get it out or don’t care enough to listen while you’re trying to talk. Another
reason good listening skills are important is because if you are unable to catch contradictions in
what people say, you will be easily persuadable and an easy target for things like scams or
being manipulated, which people do on a daily basis. My last reason for having good listening
skills is because it allows you to be a part of other peoples lives. If you can’t listen to what your
friend has to say, you won’t be able to share their memories, their feelings, and eventually their
time because they won’t want to be around you anymore. If you can’t give the time of your day
to just listen to what people have to say, you’re going to be very self-involved and (from what
I’ve seen) egotistical, and that is not the kind of person I want to be.

Be sure you've read the chapter and the supplemental Guide to Effective Paraphrasing (find in
PPP area in learning module) before completing this portion of the assignment! 
For each of the following situations, imagine you are the listener, and construct:
A. an appropriate clarifying question,
B. a content paraphrase and
C. a feelings paraphrase
Write your example messages below (e.g., 3A, 3B, 3C, 4A ... etc.) exactly as you would
say them to the other person in the situation. Construct a strategic response based on
the information in the chapter. 
5. Your coworker says to you, “Everyone seems to be talking about the new reporting
format. But, to be honest, I don’t really see why everyone is getting worked up!”

A: “What’s the new reporting format, I haven’t heard about it yet?

B: “Sounds like its going to be the new standard if its working everyone up,
right?”

C: “You don’t seem too worried about having to learn it, so it can’t be that bad.”
(If I’m wrong here, he will more than likely correct me, so I don’t have to add a clarifying
remark)

6. Your sister says to you, “I don’t know if it’s something to do with me or Mom, but
lately she and I just aren’t getting along.”
A: “Are you guys just bickering or is it full blown arguments?”
 B: “I can hear you guys arguing like every day, you two seem to disagree a lot, or
am I wrong?”
C: “It sounds like it gets pretty emotional, you two seem really stressed out,
right?”
7. Your spouse/partner/significant other says to you, “I don’t like how  you’ve been acting
lately. It seems like I can’t say anything without you getting all defensive!”
A: “Is this about what I said at dinner?”
B: “I have been acting a bit cocky lately, is this what is upsetting you?”
C: “Are you upset with my behavior at dinner tonight?”
8. Your boss says to you, "I need you to know how angry I am that you were late last
Saturday, and you haven't been keeping up with invoices. I heard a customer complain
that you were rude, and your coworkers have been saying you seem distracted lately."

A: “Wow, am I really falling this far behind?”

B: “I did have a disagreement with a customer earlier today that was being very
hostile and I myself said some rude words, and I have been slacking on those invoices,
I’m sorry.”

C: “I understand that you’re upset with my lack of motivation lately, and I see that
it is not acceptable in the workplace, can I make it up to you?”

9. For this one, write a couple sentences about the importance of using skills like these
to improve the understanding part of the active listening process. 

For each of the following statements/questions, explain how you might go about  critically
evaluating it and/or probing for more information. What would you do and say? Additionally,
explain why it might be important to do so for each situation. 
10. Your spouse/partner/significant other says to you, "Why has Jim been so mad at
you lately?" 

I would evaluate what she asked me by comparing my last few encounters with
Jim, and then would come to the conclusion that after evaluating our time together, I
have only really asked him for favors or to do something for me and never talked to him
as a friend anymore. Coming to this conclusion, I would send Jim a message saying
“Hey dude, I just realized that I’ve only really been asking you to do stuff for me lately,
and I don’t really talk to you as my friend anymore, are you free to hang out anytime this
week? I really want to catch up with you again.”

11. Your coworker tells you to "Watch out. The boss is in a terrible mood today. He's
going eat you for lunch if you even approach him"

I would probe for more information by asking my coworker “Do you know why he’s
upset?” and if she didn’t, I would try to make sure I did everything I could correctly and
when my boss passed me would ask genuine questions and show him that I was
actively listening to his response to show him that I cared. If he got upset or dismissive
at my questions, I would back off and allow him to cool down for a bit before I tried
again.
12. Your friend tells you "Don't buy that lawnmower. It's a piece of crap."

If my friend told me this, I would assume that my friend had a bad experience with the
lawnmower, and judging by his background of mowing lawns for money for the past 4
years for money, I would assume it was an error on the lawn mower and not my friend
mishandling it. To clarify, I would ask “Does it not start up well, or does it just not cut
grass well?”

13. Your classmates tells you "If you don't vote for X, our country will continue going
down the tubes like it is right now."
Before formulating an opinion other than “I like this policy” or “I don’t like this
one”, I would research both of the candidates before formulating an opinion on the
better of the two options, and to get another person’s perspective on the matter, I would
ask, “I don’t know much about X, could you tell me some of their policies?”
14.  For this answer, name the two most relevant and useful concepts or skills you learned in
Chapter 7. Explain why they are relevant/useful to you, and what--if anything--you might
actually do with an understanding of this information/skill to better meet your own
interpersonal goals in some way. 
Learning how to actively listen in chapter 7 was probably one of the most important
things I could learn this term, because I’m not very good in social situations and having the
ability to show I care and I’m listening is a good way to keep friends and show people you really
care. I also really liked taking the Listening Profile test, because it was really good for me to
learn how I tend to think and things that I need to work on when I’m listening to other people.