Requires Ongoing Support From Your Service: A Heart Attack
Requires Ongoing Support From Your Service: A Heart Attack
Requires Ongoing Support From Your Service: A Heart Attack
Yellow= errors/mistakes
Social Worker
Collins Street
Adelaide
09/07/2017
I am writing to request a home visit for Mrs. Weiss, a 63- year-old lady who is recovering from
angioplasty surgery. Mrs requires ongoing support from your service and assess her eligibility on
receiving sickness benefits from the Australian Government Department of Human Service.
Mrs. Wiess is married, lives with her pensioner age husband, and works as a taxi driver, for which
her family financially depends.
6. Ms.
7. It did not mention the last statement in the case notes.
Mrs. Wiess presented to the hospital on 07/07/2017 with a diagnosis of myocardial infarction and
underwent angioplasty. Currently, Mrs. Wiess has progressed well, made a good recovery, and
ready to be discharged home today.
8. Myocardial infarction is a medical jargon. Write a heart attack. Commented [OGBA2]: The social worker is not required
9. an angioplasty. to know what MI is.
10. and is ready… او،في هاي الحالة يا تغيري المسطلع كله و تستخدمي مسطلح عامي
.تكتبي المسطلح الطبي و تحطي المسطلح العامي بين قوسين
myocardial infarction ( a heart attack)…
During her time of care at hospital, an appropriate referral has been made, and she has advised to
refrain from work for the next six weeks for full recovery. For this reason, she worried about her
inability to manage her home on her husband’s pension.
15. for.
16. Services.
Yours sincerely,
Charge Nurse
Overall, 340
Model answer:
I am writing to request a visit to Ms. Weiss's home to assess her eligibility to receive a
sickness allowance or other benefits from the Australian Government Department of
Human Services. Ms. Weiss is recovering from a heart attack, and she will not be able to
work for the next six weeks.
Ms. Weiss works as a taxi driver and does not have regular working hours. She is married to
Mr. Peter Weiss, a retired aged pensioner, and she has a daughter. Her medical history
includes mild osteoarthritis (joint inflammation) and asthma, and high cholesterol levels.
After Ms. Weiss's admission due to a heart attack, she received the appropriate
management and was educated about possible risk factors and lifestyle modifications in
order to avoid future similar events. However, she was concerned that she would not be
able to manage at home while only depending on her husband's pension.
Today, Ms. Weiss is ready for discharge, but she will not be able to drive for the next six
weeks. She will be referred to a cardiac rehabilitation nurse specialist and an occupational
therapist, and a list of her medications will be attached to this letter.
Given the above, it would be appreciated if you could assess Ms. Weiss's suitability for
receiving financial aid or assistance via your service.