The Writing Phase: Writing the First Draft

The Introduction

Once you have a clear idea of the structure of

your essay, it is time to produce a first draft.
The beginning of the essay is a crucial first
step in this process. The assignment prompt
itself can give you some indication about how to
approach the introduction as it starts with a
general statement and then narrows down to
focus on specific questions. One strategy might therefore be to use a similar model in your
own introduction, starting with a general sentence or two and then focusing on the details of
your argument. Though there is no single formula for writing a good introduction, in general,
an introduction should do the following:

• Attract the reader’s attention

• State your focused topic
• State your thesis

Example of an introductory paragraph:

Sixty-five percent of Pinterest, Twitter or Facebook users believe that Facebook

constitutes the greatest influence on their purchasing decision (Hennessy, p. 17)
while, in contrast, more than 68 percent of these users feel that these media
platforms do not influence them when deciding who to vote for and what their
values are (p. 34). However, despite the popular belief that political, moral and
cultural convictions are the result of an independent thinking process, evidence
clearly reveals that they are in fact critically influenced by propaganda, media that
is designed to influence public thought and opinion. In fact, online propaganda
exerts power over an individual’s approval or rejection of sociopolitical and cultural
values to the extent that it is essentially impossible to refer to an independent
element from the media thinking process and decision power. Using the lens of
George Orwell’s allegorical novella Animal Farm (1945), this essay carries out an
analysis and assessment of the power exerted by social media in real life

1
 today,focusing on the role of propaganda in engendering public complacency and
obedience.

The length of the introduction should be proportionate to the length and complexity of
the whole essay. For a 1,000-word essay analysing a single text, your beginning
should be brief, i.e., one paragraph long. For longer essays, however, your
introductory paragraph may be a few paragraphs, or even a few pages long.

Attracting the Reader’s Attention

The examples below illustrate a weak beginning to the introduction and how it can be
improved.

1. Ineffective: The pacemaker implant was an extremely important invention.

Effective: The invention of the pacemaker implant marked a major turning point
in the life expectancy of patients with heart rate irregularities.

In this example, the first sentence is a general fact while the second sentence is more
interesting, making a bold claim about exactly why the topic is important.

2. Ineffective: The internet is defined as “a global wide area network that connects
computer systems across the world.”
Effective: The spread of the internet has had a world-changing effect, not least on
the world of education.

It is important that you avoid using a dictionary definition as the beginning of your
introduction, especially if the term is one with which everyone is familiar. The improved
example here is still general but it provides the reader with a much clearer sense of what
the essay will be about.

3. Ineffective: George Orwell’s Nineteen Eighty-Four is a famous book from the

twentieth century.
Effective: George Orwell’s Nineteen Eighty-Four is a dystopian social science
fiction novel often read as a crude warning against the dangers of totalitarianism.

Instead of just stating a fact that the reader already knows, the improved sentence tells
the reader about the mainstream interpretation of the book, implying that this essay will
offer a different interpretation.

2
Stating your Focused Topic
Your reader needs to be provided with the general context and the topic of your argument.
Depending on the subject of your essay, this might include:

• An outline of the debate you are addressing

• Historical, geographical, or social context
• A summary of relevant theories or research on the topic
• Definitions of key terms

The information at this point of your introduction should be general but clearly focused
and directly relevant to your argument. You should not provide details. Instead, you can
mention points that you analyse later on in the body of the essay, when you will also
provide your evidence and interpretation.

Below is an example of how the topic becomes focused and leads to the thesis statement.

In “Marijuana: the Deceiving Drug” (2011) Philip Piers concludes that marijuana is
harmful in many ways, including brain damage, damage to the reproductive
system, and weakening of the immune system. He also attempts to convince the
reader that marijuana is a "gateway drug" that leads the users to venture into much
harder drugs. However, I believe that research to support any position can be
found, if one is vigorously searching for it. The fallacy of Piers’ conclusions
is that in seeking facts and proof to support an already-assumed conclusion
research evidence that contradicts his claim has escaped his attention. My
main aim is to analyse Piers’ main arguments through the lens of scientific research
produced on the effects of marijuana in order to illustrate that, when examined
carefully and with an open mind, the evidence does not agree with his conclusions.

In the above introductory paragraph, the writer states the narrow topic which is “the fallacy
of Piers’ conclusions.” The thesis statement follows naturally and effortlessly from this
sentence, stating that scientific research on marijuana will be examined against this fallacy
for the purpose of proving that Piers’ conclusions about this “deceiving drug” is not a
realistic reflection of the true nature of marijuana.

3
Stating your Thesis
The final part of your introduction is where you narrow your focus further to show exactly
what you want to say about the topic. This is your thesis statement and it usually consists
of one or two sentences. It is the most important part of your whole work as it sums up
your overall argument.

As the writing of the first draft of your thesis statement takes place at the first stage of the
writing process, for further information about how to write an effective thesis statement,
you should consult The Prewriting Phase included here in Section 4. However, as you
research and write and learn more, your argument will probably change focus. Thus, it is
crucial that you periodically revise your thesis statement. Indeed, many writers wait until
later in the writing process to write the introductory paragraph and, for many, it is actually
the last paragraph that they write.

No matter what your approach to writing the introductory paragraph is, when you finish
writing the body and conclusion of your essay, you must return to the introduction in
order to ensure that it corresponds to the content of the essay. It is particularly important
to make certain that your thesis statement accurately represents what you do in the
essay. If your argument has been modified or followed a different direction than initially
planned, adjust your thesis statement so that it is in agreement with what you actually
say.

The Body

The body is the longest part of an essay. This is where you lead the reader through your
ideas, elaborating arguments and evidence for your thesis. The body is always divided
into paragraphs and the essence of each paragraph is contained in the topic sentence.

The Topic Sentence

The Topic Sentence serves two purposes. First, it functions as the thesis of
your paragraph and second, it pushes the thesis of your essay forward, presenting an
arguable point. The topic sentence is usually the first or second sentence of a paragraph.

4
Types of Topic Sentences
Sometimes topic sentences are actually two or even three sentences long. If the first
makes a claim, the second might reflect on that claim, explaining it further. Think of these
sentences as asking and answering two critical questions: How does the phenomenon
you are discussing operate? Why does it operate as it does? There’s no set formula for
writing a topic sentence. Rather, you should work to vary the form your topic sentences
take. Repeated too often, any method grows wearisome. Below are a few approaches.

1. Complex sentences
Topic sentences at the beginning of a paragraph frequently combine with a transition from
the previous paragraph. This might be done by writing a sentence that contains both
subordinate and independent clauses, as in the example below.

Although “Young Woman with a Water Pitcher” depicts an unknown, middle-class

woman at an ordinary task, the image is more than "realistic"; the painter [Vermeer]
has imposed his own order upon it to strengthen it.

(Example from
https://writingcenter.fas.harvard.edu/pages/topic-sentences-and-signposting).

This sentence employs a useful principle of transitions guiding the reader from old to new
information. The subordinate clause (“although…task”) refers to information from
previous paragraphs while the two following independent clauses (starting with “the
image” and “the painter”) introduce the new information, which is the claim about how the
image works.

2. Questions
Questions also constitute good topic sentences that stimulate the reader’s interest to
continue. Consider the following:

“Does the promise of safety and stability justify the introduction of the new law? “

The reader clearly understands that the paragraph or section that follows will address the
question.

5
 3. Bridge sentences.
Bridge sentences, like questions, are an excellent alternative to more formal topic
sentences. They designate both what came before and what comes next.

"Nonetheless there is a clue to this riddle."

“However, one must ask why Gros had provided two differing accounts of the
insurrection. The answer reflects…”

The reader is thus guided from one point to another, from what you have just said to
the next step in your reasoning.

Transitioning
The clarity and effectiveness of your transitions depends on the organisation of your
paper; thus, before you incorporate any transitions you should evaluate your paper’s
organisation. In the margins of your draft, you should briefly summarise the main point of
each paragraph and/or how it fits into your analysis. This will help you understand the
order of and connection between your ideas more clearly. If this exercise does not prove
helpful and you find that you still have difficulty linking your ideas in a coherent fashion, it
means that you should work on the organisation. Review your essay outline and see how
well it supports the argument in your thesis statement. You should be able to identify which
paragraphs need rewriting, reordering, or rejecting. You may also decide that you need to
revise your thesis statement so that it corresponds with what you ended up discussing in
the body of your draft.

Transitional words or phrases serve the important purpose of emphasising the logical
relationship between sentences or paragraphs, helping the reader navigate your essay.
The types of transitions available to you are as varied as the circumstances in which you
need to use them. A transition can be a single word, a phrase, a sentence, or an entire
paragraph. They can generally be grouped in three main categories:

1. Transitions between sections: particularly in longer works, it may be necessary

to include transitional paragraphs that summarise for the reader the information
just covered and specify the relevance of this information to the discussion in the
following section.
2. Transitions between paragraphs: if you have effectively arranged paragraphs
so that the content of one leads smoothly and logically to the next, the transition

6
 will underscore a relationship that already exists by summarising the previous
paragraph and revealing the content of the paragraph that follows. A transition
between paragraphs can be a word, a phrase, or a sentence. It can be at the end
of the first paragraph, at the beginning of the second paragraph, or in both places.
3. Transitions within paragraphs: As with transitions between sections and
paragraphs, transitions within paragraphs act as signals by helping readers to
understand what will follow. Within paragraphs, transitions tend to be single words
or short phrases.

The correct choice of transitions depends upon your ability to identify which ones will
indicate for the reader the kind of logical relationships you want to convey. The table below
provide you with some of these words or phrases; however, keep in mind that each may
have a slightly different meaning to others in the same category. If you are uncertain of
the exact meaning of a word or phrase, you should consult a dictionary.

Cause and
Addition Comparison Contrast
Effect

also along the same lines although accordingly

and in the same way but as a result
in addition similarly in contrast consequently
in fact likewise conversely hence
indeed like despite it follows, then
so too even though since
as well as however so
furthermore nevertheless then
moreover whereas therefore
yet thus
while
on the other hand

Conclusion Example Concession Elaboration

as a result as an illustration admittedly by extension

consequently consider granted in short
hence for example of course that is to say
in conclusion for instance naturally in other words
in short specifically to be sure to put it
in sum a case in point conceding that another way
it follows, then although it is true that to put it bluntly
so to put it
therefore succinctly
thus ultimately

It is important to keep in mind that although transitional words and phrases are essential,
they should not be applied to force a paragraph or section into a place where it does not,

7
structurally, belong. The reader will be able to easily recognise the disjointedness and this
will consequently unsettle the development of your reasoning.

The Counterargument
When you write an academic essay, you make an argument, i.e., you propose a thesis
and, through the use of evidence, you offer some reasoning that suggests why the thesis
is true. When you counter-argue, you consider a possible argument against your
thesis or some aspect of your reasoning. This is a useful way to assess the validity of
your ideas when drafting, while you still have time to revise them. It is also crucial for
persuading your reader since it reveals that you have examined different perspectives and
arguments before formulating your own. Of course, not every opposing point of view
deserves to be included in your writing; you should identify and include only the most
important counterargument(s).

A counterargument can appear anywhere in the essay except the conclusion, but it most
frequently appears as a section or paragraph just after your introduction. In this way the
body of your essay begins by revealing the expected reaction or mainstream position
before moving to developing its own. A counterargument is also often included as a
section or paragraph preceding the conclusion of the essay.

The counterargument in an essay has two stages: turning against your argument to
challenge it and then going back to re-affirm it.

Turning Against your own Argument

In your effort to include a counterargument in your work, you need to imagine a sceptical
reader, or cite a source that opposes your argument. You should include:

• a problem with your demonstration, e.g., that a different conclusion could be drawn
from the same facts;
• one or more disadvantages or practical drawbacks to what you propose;
• an alternative explanation or proposal that makes sense.

In order to introduce the counterargument(s) you can use phrases such as:

8
 • One might object here that...
• One may argue that…
• It is true/ a fact that...
• It might seem that...
• Of course, …
• Admittedly, …
• However, one must ask how/ why…?
• However, if this is so, what about...?

Using the above and other similar phrases will help you state the case against your
argument as clearly and forcefully as possible, pointing to evidence where possible. Here
is an example:

Some scholars and researchers object to the position that technology augments a
child’s cognitive development, claiming that it has serious negative effects on a
child’s developing mind. In his most recent study, Kennedy et al. claims that
“evidence suggests that early exposure to purely entertainment content, and media
violence in particular, is negatively associated with cognitive skills and academic
achievement” (2018, p. 8).

Reaffirming your Argument

Your return to your own argument can be signalled with: however, although, nevertheless,
but, yet or still and must, likewise, involve careful and clear reasoning. In reasoning about
the proposed counterargument, you may:

• disprove it, showing why it is mistaken;

• acknowledge its validity or plausibility, but suggest why on balance it is relatively
less important or less likely than what you propose, and thus does not overturn
your point.

Below is an example that illustrates how a counterargument can be acknowledged as valid

but not strong enough to defeat the argument of the essay:

Although there is validity to the presented argument, this theory excludes

educationally driven programming, some of which is specifically designed to
educate children beyond what they might experience by age-appropriate

9
 schooling alone. There is incredible value in formal education and the public
school system; however, classroom modalities are not the only way children
learn about the world around them. Educational stimuli can come in the form of
direct contact with a teacher, reading a book, or by watching a programme. For
example, a student learning about the number three can find value in hearing a
teacher explain mathematical values of the number, by reading a book which
illustrates a visual example of the number, and by watching a programme with
a catchy song about the number three. In his eBook Children's Learning from
Educational Television: Sesame Street and Beyond, Fisch (2004) describes
how some television programmes are types of informal education, “much like
educational activities that children find in magazines, museums, or after-school
programs” (p. 9). While a good deal of education takes place in the classroom,
television can be used to supplement the academic experience of a student.
When presented in an informal and entertaining way, this supplemental material
can help students become more engaged in topics, and more willing to delve
into deeper consideration of concepts. Early learners may also be introduced to
subject matter that is not typically introduced until later phases of formal
schooling, if at all (Fisch, 2004).

(Paragraph from
https://writingcenter.uagc.edu/counterargument#:~:text=These%20opposing%20positi
ons%20are%20called,a%20counterargument%20to%20my%20position).

The writer responds to the counterargument and states that this opposing argument is
incomplete. An example as well as research evidence are provided to show the opposing
argument is ineffective in considering alternatives. The paragraph closes by stating why
the writer’s argument is sounder than the identified counterargument.

Engaging with Primary and Secondary Sources Critically

Irrespective of the specific way you choose to structure your argument in your essay,
you will be expected to show how you have not only understood but also evaluated
the information you have researched and included in your work. For guidance on
how to achieve this please consult Section 3 of your Online Induction Module, which
focuses on critical thinking and writing.

10
The Conclusion

The conclusion of your essay is crucial as it constitutes your last effort to persuade your
readers to your point of view and make a lasting impression as a writer and thinker. The
end of an essay should therefore convey a sense of completeness and closure as well as
a sense of the possibilities for further research, its larger meaning and implications. Prior
to delving into how to write an effective conclusion, it would be useful to explain what it is
not.

A concluding paragraph is not:

• just a summary of your body paragraphs
A common mistake made by students is to view the essay conclusion merely as a recap
and therefore conclude an essay by providing a concise summary of the arguments made.
This kind of summary constitutes an important part of your conclusion, especially in longer
essays where a series of complex arguments has been made. However, in addition to
summarising, your conclusion must, most importantly, synthesise, showing the
relationship and the manners in which the points you made, the support and examples
you used relate and come together.

• a repetition of your introduction

It is also common for students to use the concluding paragraph or section to repeat their
introduction somewhat rephrased. However, once again a repetition of information is
essentially meaningless and the conclusion, as mentioned, is a critical part of your work.
It should add to your essay.

• a place to make new arguments

An interesting new idea should not be included in your final paragraph or section as it
deserved its own paragraph in the body of the essay. If it does not fit the structure or
argument of your work, it is better to exclude it altogether. Your reader’s mind should be
guided to reflect on arguments and ideas already analysed and explained.

Writing an Effective Conclusion

In order to write an effective conclusion, you should follow these steps:

11
Step 1: Transition.
Use a transitional word or phrase at the beginning of your conclusion to make it clear to
your reader that this is not another body paragraph such as: in essence, ultimately, overall,
this study set out to …, this paper has argued that….

Step 2: State the main point of your paper in a new way.

You should not just copy and paste the thesis statement from your introduction; however,
it is important that you remind the reader of the aim of your essay.

Step 3: Briefly discuss your arguments.

Provide a brief summary of the points you discussed in each body paragraph. It is
important to remind your reader that you have strong arguments to support the claim you
made. You should aim to show your reader the ways in which the arguments relate to one
another.

Step 4: Emphasise the importance of your argument.

Your last sentences should make the readers understand the reason you have made so
much effort trying to persuade them that your claim is true. Your reader should realise why
they should care about your argument and ideas. For this purpose, you need to explain
why it would be a problem for your reader to ignore what you are saying.

Step 5: Make recommendations for further research.

It is important that you always address the limitations of your work and suggest how they
might be overcome in future work. You can use phrases such as: the issue of X is an
intriguing one, which could be usefully explored in further research…,
if the debate is to be moved forward, a better understanding of X needs to be developed...,
and a natural progression of this work is to analyse….

Below is an example of an effective concluding paragraph illustrating the above:

Overall, although it is evident that there has been considerable debate on the
subject, it is clear that democratic leadership is the most suitable form of
management for the modern workplace. This is made evident by the fact that over
the last century, employees have become increasingly more educated and skilled.
In addition, there is a increasing emphasis on independence, creativity and free
thought, signifying that team members are realising that they have something
valuable to contribute that could provide a meaningful perspective. It is based on

12
 these reasons that democratic leadership, where input and conflicting opinions are
welcome, should be adopted in a majority of organisations. The question of which
aspects of the workplace must be adjusted in order to accommodate and promote
democratic leadership, and in which manner, is unquestionably an intriguing
aspect that requires further exploration through future research.

In the above example the writer uses a transitional word (“overall”) to make it clear that
this is the concluding paragraph. The main point of the essay is restated and the main
arguments are briefly summarised. The importance of the argument is revealed by the
fact that the issue of democratic leadership deserves further investigation through
research. Recommendations as to the direction that future research can take are also
included.

With the writing of the conclusion of your essay, you have completed your first draft. You
should take a break. After a few hours or, if possible, a day, you can return to your writing
with a fresh pair of eyes and launch into revising it.

13
Reference List

Abrams, E. (2000). Topic Sentences and Signposting. Available at:

https://writingcenter.fas.harvard.edu/pages/topic-sentences-and-signposting (Accessed
18 January 2021).

Fish, S. (2004) Children's Learning from Educational Television: Sesame Street and
Beyond. UK: Taylor and Francis.

Jones, Millie for the Writing Center at the University of Arizona (2018) Writing a
Counterargument Paragraph. Available at:
https://writingcenter.uagc.edu/counterargument#:~:text=These%20opposing%20position
s%20are%20called,a%20counterargument%20to%20my%20position (Accessed 18
January 2021).

Hennessy, B. (2018) Influencer: Building Your Personal Brand in the Age of Social
Media. NY: Citadel Press.

Ursinus College (no date) Writing Effective Conclusions. Available at:

https://www.ursinus.edu/live/files/1173-writing-an-effective-conclusionpdf

14