Shifts in Construction
Shifts in Construction
Shifts in Construction
CONSTRUCTIONS
The rule of thumb is consistency: consistency in person, number, tense,
mood, voice, and tone within a sentence (or within a larger piece of
discourse, like a paragraph or the piece as a whole).
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not lovable; he is insensitive, even cruel.
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Spanish courtiers that he had found the coast of Asia.
Shifts in Tone: this is the speaker's attitude toward the subject or the
audience, and it is derived from diction, verb selection, sentence structure,
mood, voice, etc. Example: In his famous painting Persistence of
Memory, Salvador Dali creates a haunting allegory for modern memory
and time, a vision we just have to dub awesome.
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Lawrence asked whether the telephone was ringing.
MIXED CONSTRUCTIONS
"The fact that" : this causes confusion when writers forget that
this is actually a noun phrase acting as a subject or object.
Example: The fact that design elements are as important to a play's
success as actors. Here the writer thought the subject was "design
elements" when it was really "the fact that".
Revision: The fact that design elements are as important to a play's
success as actors is often overlooked by students.
Revision: Design elements are as important to a play's success as
actors.
Adverbial clauses: an adverb clause that begins with a
subordinating conjunction (when, because, although) can't serve as
a subject. Example: When a set is successful design pleases actors
and theatergoers alike. Successful is serving as an adjective
modifying design instead of acting as the last word of the
adverbial phrase.
Revision: When a set is successful, the design pleases actors and
theatergoers alike.
Revision: A successfully designed set pleases actors and
theatergoers alike.
Prepositional phrases: The object of a prepositional phrase,
which is a noun, cannot function as the subject of a sentence.
Example: By creating a functional set design can help the audience
believe the stage is a real place. "a functional set design is actually
the end of the prepositional phrase but it is also being used as the
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subject of the sentence.
Revised: Creating a functional set design helps the audience
believe the stage is a real place. The whole phrase Creating a
functional set design becomes the subject of the sentence; we've
eliminated the prepositional phrase altogether.
Revised: By creating a functional set design, the designer can help
the audience believe the stage is a real place. The prepositional
phrase remains discrete and an appropriate noun becomes the
subject of the sentence.
Maintain consistent relations between subjects and predicates
(AKA faulty predication).
o This usually involves the verb "be". In the sentence "The
child is happy," the verb "to be" is acting as a linking verb,
basically saying the subject (the child) is equal to its
complement (happy). If the subject and its complement
don't match, we have a case of faulty predication.
Example: The resolving power of an electron microscope
is keenly aware of life invisible to the human eye. A
microscope's power cannot be keenly aware: people can
be.
Revision: The resolving power of an electron microscope
helps us to be keenly aware of life invisible to the human
eye.
Revision: Aided by the resolving power of an electron
microscope, we have grown keenly aware of life invisible
to the human eye.
o Be careful of phrases beginning with when, if, or where
when those phrases are acting as subject complements.
Faulty: Electron illumination is if beams of electrons
instead of light are used in a microscope.
Faulty: Electron illumination is when beams of electrons
instead of light are used in a microscope.
Faulty: The reason electron microscopes have become
essential to research is because their resolving power is
roughly 500000 times greater than the power of the human
eye.
1. The fact that strays were overrunning the town and creating a
health problem and nuisance.
2. When minute, pellet-sized bar codes became available and created
a radical alternative to neutering or destroying strays.
3. With the bar code implants, runaway cats could be identified and
quickly returned to pet owners instead of being destroyed.
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4. One sign of trouble was when animal rights groups protested the
indignity of the solution and when comedians asked, "Are people
next?"
5. Advanced, miniaturized technology used for instant identification
breathes fear into those who vigilantly protect against invasions of
privacy.
Avoid shifts in
1. verb tense
Except for special cases where the intended meaning requires a change
in tense, maintain the same tense within a sentence.
The sentence above begins in the past tense but shifts, without reason,
to the present tense.
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2. voice
The sentence above begins in active voice but shifts without reason to
passive voice.
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Here, the use of passive allows the sentence to focus on the subject.
3. mood
Shifts in mood often occur with directions, where the mood shifts
from indicative to imperative or from imperative to indicative.
Error repaired
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4. person
Shifts in person usually occur with changes from the third to the second
person point of view.
Error repaired
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If the meaning of a sentence clearly requires a change, then you may
change person as needed.
5. number
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6.discourse
There are two ways to recount someone's words. Each way requires its
own format.
Example
Example
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Note the difference in the formats above:
A shift in discourse occurs when, within a sentence, the writer uses the
format of one form and shifts some part to the format of the other.
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Correct
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Correct
Correct
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Correct
Correct
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___ 4. By the time negotiations began, many pessimists have
expressed doubt about them.
___ 5. After Capt. James Cook visited Alaska on his third voyage, he is
killed by Hawaiian islanders in 1779.
___ 6. I was terribly disappointed with my grade because I studied very
hard.
___ 7. The moderator asks for questions as soon as the speaker has
finished.
___ 8. Everyone hopes the plan would work.
___ 9. Harry wants to show his friends the photos he took last summer.
___ 10. Scientists predict that the sun will die in the distant future.
___ 11. The boy insisted that he has paid for the candy bars.
___ 12. The doctor suggested bed rest for the patient, who suffers from a
bad cold.
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Controlling Shifts in Paragraphs
Although the main tense in the following paragraph is past, the writer
correctly shifts to present tense twice. Find these two verbs in present
tense. If you encounter difficulty, try reading the paragraph aloud.
For the past seven years, I have called myself a swimmer. Swimming, my
one sport, provides a necessary outlet for my abundant energy. I have
always drawn satisfaction from exertion, straining my muscles to their
limits. I don't know why pushing forward in the water, as my muscles
cried out in pain, sets off a booming cheer in my head. Many times when I
rounded the turn for the last lap of a race, my complaining muscles want
to downshift and idle to the finish. My mind, however, presses the pedal
to the floor and yells, "FASTER!" The moment that I touched the wall my
muscles relax; the pain subsides. I am pleased to have passed the point of
conflict. (adapted from Brendon MacLean, "Harder!")
You will notice several shifts in tense in the following paragraph
describing action in a fictional narrative. Find the six faulty shifts in tense.
For the past seven years, I have called myself a swimmer. Swimming, my
one sport, provides a necessary outlet for my abundant energy. I have
always drawn satisfaction from exertion, straining my muscles to their
limits. I don't know why pushing forward in the water, as my
muscles cried out in pain, sets off a booming cheer in my head. Many
times when I rounded the turn for the last lap of a race, my complaining
muscles want to downshift and idle to the finish. My mind, however,
presses the pedal to the floor and yells, "FASTER!" The moment that
I touched the wall my muscles relax; the pain subsides. I am pleased to
have passed the point of conflict. (adapted from Brendon
MacLean, "Harder!")
Since the following paragraph describes action in a fictional narrative, the
main tense should be present. The six incorrect shifts to past tense are
underlined.
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EXERCISE 3: Shifts in Construction:
Tenses
1. My high school track coach loves to run, and he ran every day he can.
2. The basketball game will have begun by the time we will arrive.
3. While only a few students cheat on exams, their dishonesty affected us all.
4. Archaeology interests me quite a bit, and I would have considered making it my major if
I was not taking business classes now.
5. In "Bartleby the Scrivener," Bartleby's silence caused more frustration than if he were
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arguing out loud.
YOUR ANSWER: No answer ** OUR REVISION: My high school track coach loves to run,
and he runs every day he can.
YOUR ANSWER: No answer ** OUR REVISION: The basketball game will have begun by
the time we arrive.
YOUR ANSWER: No answer ** OUR REVISION: While only a few students cheat on
exams, their dishonesty affects us all.
YOUR ANSWER: No answer ** OUR REVISION: Archaeology interests me quite a bit, and
I would consider making it my major if I was not taking business classes now.
YOUR ANSWER: No answer ** OUR REVISION: In ''Bartleby the Scrivener,'' Bartleby's
silence causes more frustration than if he were arguing out loud. (When talking about literature,
it is customary to use present tense.)