Location via proxy:   [ UP ]  
[Report a bug]   [Manage cookies]                

Shifts in Construction

Download as docx, pdf, or txt
Download as docx, pdf, or txt
You are on page 1of 20

SOURCE 1: SHIFTS AND MIXED

CONSTRUCTIONS
The rule of thumb is consistency: consistency in person, number, tense,
mood, voice, and tone within a sentence (or within a larger piece of
discourse, like a paragraph or the piece as a whole).

PERSON: Is the subject of the sentence the person speaking (first


person), the person spoken to (second person) or the person spoken about
(third person)?

NUMBER: Is a person or thing singular or plural?


 

 Shifts in person: this occurs when, within a sentence, the person


shifts from first to second person, from second to third person,
etc. 
Example: A person who is a nonsmoker can develop lung
problems when you live with smokers. This shifts from third to
second person.
Revision: A person who is a nonsmoker can develop lung troubles
when he or she lives with smokers. This is consistently third
person. 
Revision: If you are a nonsmoker you can develop lung troubles
when you live with smokers. This is consistently second person.
 Shifts in number: this means shifting between singular and plural
in one sentence.
Example: They had the best time of their life. 
Revision: They had the best time of their lives. 
Example: All the candidates have a conservative record.
Revision: All the candidates have conservative records.

WORKSHEET: Correct shifts in person and number in these sentences:

1. A typical monastic community would usually confine their


dramatic activities to Christmas, Easter, and perhaps one or two
saints' days.
2. Although we can locate a number of saints' plays in the early
drama of Western Europe, you can't find them all located in one
place.
3. Until the nineteenth century, comedy was inappropriate to serious
religious dramas; they saw it as almost blasphemous.
4. The villainous characters in medieval drama are usually comic but

2
not lovable; he is insensitive, even cruel.

 Shifts in tense, mood, voice.


 TENSE: when (past, present, future) the action of the verb occurs.
Tense is marked by verb endings and auxiliary verbs (e.g., He
walks home, He walked home, He will walk home, He was
walking home.)
Inconsistent: The road climbed up from the river bottom and the
vegetation changes dramatically.
Consistent: The road climbed up from the river bottom and the
vegetation changed dramatically.
The "historical present tense" refers to texts which may have
written long ago but because they can still be read today are
referred to in the present tense. 
Inconsistent: In his article, Norman Frye criticized the
postmoderns lack of ethics and asks whether literature should still
teach as well as entertain.
Consistent: In his article, Norman Frye criticizes the postmoderns
lack of ethics and asks whether literature should still teach as well
as entertain.
 MOOD: what the attitude of the speaker towards the action is
Three moods:
o indicative: sentence presented as fact or straight assertion
o imperative: sentence presented as a command, often to an
understood "you."
o subjunctive: sentence presented as doubtful or conditional
Inconsistent: If he were more experienced, he will be able
to help us. This shifts from subjunctive to indicative.
Consistent: If he were more experienced, he would be able
to help us. (Consistently subjunctive)

 VOICE: whether the agent or receiver of the action is in the


subject slot (active vs. passive). A transitive verb, which transfers
action from a subject to an object, can be expressed in active or
passive voices. ("The door was opened" is passive, without an
agent listed; "John opened the door" is active, with the agent in
the subject slot.) Both voices are useful in writing, but shifting
from one voice to another within a single sentence is very
confusing. 
Inconsistent: Columbus arrived in the New World, and it was
believed he had found the coast of Asia. Shifts from active to
passive.
Consistent: Columbus arrived in the New World and believed he
had found the coast of Asia. OR Columbus arrived in the New
World; Spanish courtiers believed he had found the coast of Asia.
OR Columbus arrived in the New World. It was believed by

2
Spanish courtiers that he had found the coast of Asia.

WORKSHEET: Correct the shifts in tense, voice, and mood in these


sentences:

1. Business has always been attracted by the language of football, for


example, and it often will have invoked terms such as team player,
game plan, and optioned out.
2. The connection is far from accidental in that both areas celebrated
aggression.
3. If there were any doubt left about the connection between sports
and business, recent surveys show that companies pay extravagant
sums in order to rent private viewing suites at sports complexes.
4. Politicians will routinely use sports talk, and they use these figures
of speech to curry favor with sprots-minded voters.
5. Politicians and businesspeople use sports analogies, and complex
ethical issues are often transformed into simple matters of strategy.
6. Revise this sentence to eliminate sexist language: Any candidate
should file his papers by noon.

Shifts in Tone: this is the speaker's attitude toward the subject or the
audience, and it is derived from diction, verb selection, sentence structure,
mood, voice, etc. Example: In his famous painting Persistence of
Memory, Salvador Dali creates a haunting allegory for modern memory
and time, a vision we just have to dub awesome.

WORKSHEET: Correct any shifts in these sentences so the sentences are


consistent.

1. In contrast, can you think of someone who is so low-key that he's a


couch potato, not very competitive, and easygoing in relations
with others?
2. You now have in mind two homo sapiens who could be described
as showing alpha and beta behavior
3. Alpha individuals get frazzled by stress more easily and tend to
suffer more coronary problems than betas.
4. Beta individuals have the patience of saints and perform well
under high levels of stress and on tasks involving complex
judgments and accuracy.

Shifting between direct and indirect discourse: direct discourse is


where you quote directly. Indirect discourse is paraphrasing. When you
move from one to another, there are verb changes which must take place.
Example: Lawrence asked, "Is that the telephone ringing?"  Indirect:

2
Lawrence asked whether the telephone was ringing.

WORKSHEET: Change these direct quotations to indirect discourse

1. The great physicist Niels Bohr nailed a horseshoe on a wall in his


cottage because "I understand it brings you luck whether you
believe or not."
2. The mystery writer Agatha Christie believed that being married to
an archaeologist was a stroke of good luck because as she got
older "he shows more interest in me."
3. In a feverish letter from a battlefield in Italy, Napoleon wrote
Josephine that he had received her letters and that "do you have
any idea, darling, what you are doing, writing to me in those
terms?"

MIXED CONSTRUCTIONS

A mixed construction means that a sentence begins with one grammatical


pattern and then ends with another grammatical pattern. These
incompatible sentence parts confuse readers.
 

 "The fact that" : this causes confusion when writers forget that
this is actually a noun phrase acting as a subject or object.
Example: The fact that design elements are as important to a play's
success as actors. Here the writer thought the subject was "design
elements" when it was really "the fact that".
Revision: The fact that design elements are as important to a play's
success as actors is often overlooked by students.
Revision: Design elements are as important to a play's success as
actors.
 Adverbial clauses: an adverb clause that begins with a
subordinating conjunction (when, because, although) can't serve as
a subject. Example: When a set is successful design pleases actors
and theatergoers alike. Successful is serving as an adjective
modifying design instead of acting as the last word of the
adverbial phrase.
Revision: When a set is successful, the design pleases actors and
theatergoers alike.
Revision: A successfully designed set pleases actors and
theatergoers alike.
 Prepositional phrases: The object of a prepositional phrase,
which is a noun, cannot function as the subject of a sentence. 
Example: By creating a functional set design can help the audience
believe the stage is a real place. "a functional set design is actually
the end of the prepositional phrase but it is also being used as the

2
subject of the sentence.
Revised: Creating a functional set design helps the audience
believe the stage is a real place. The whole phrase Creating a
functional set design becomes the subject of the sentence; we've
eliminated the prepositional phrase altogether.
Revised: By creating a functional set design, the designer can help
the audience believe the stage is a real place. The prepositional
phrase remains discrete and an appropriate noun becomes the
subject of the sentence.
 Maintain consistent relations between subjects and predicates
(AKA faulty predication).
o This usually involves the verb "be". In the sentence "The
child is happy," the verb "to be" is acting as a linking verb,
basically saying the subject (the child) is equal to its
complement (happy). If the subject and its complement
don't match, we have a case of faulty predication. 
Example: The resolving power of an electron microscope
is keenly aware of life invisible to the human eye. A
microscope's power cannot be keenly aware: people can
be.
Revision: The resolving power of an electron microscope
helps us to be keenly aware of life invisible to the human
eye.
Revision: Aided by the resolving power of an electron
microscope, we have grown keenly aware of life invisible
to the human eye.
o Be careful of phrases beginning with when, if, or where
when those phrases are acting as subject complements.
Faulty: Electron illumination is if beams of electrons
instead of light are used in a microscope.
Faulty: Electron illumination is when beams of electrons
instead of light are used in a microscope.
Faulty: The reason electron microscopes have become
essential to research is because their resolving power is
roughly 500000 times greater than the power of the human
eye.

WORKSHEET: Correct these sentences for mixed constructions

1. The fact that strays were overrunning the town and creating a
health problem and nuisance.
2. When minute, pellet-sized bar codes became available and created
a radical alternative to neutering or destroying strays.
3. With the bar code implants, runaway cats could be identified and
quickly returned to pet owners instead of being destroyed.

2
4. One sign of trouble was when animal rights groups protested the
indignity of the solution and when comedians asked, "Are people
next?"
5. Advanced, miniaturized technology used for instant identification
breathes fear into those who vigilantly protect against invasions of
privacy.

SOURCE 2: AVOIDING SHIFTS


Writers should keep the elements in a sentence consistent, avoiding any
unnecessary changes in tense, voice, mood, person, number, and
discourse.  Such unnecessary changes, or "shifts," may make reading
difficult and obscure the sentence's  meaning for the reader.

Avoid shifts in

1. verb tense

    Except for special cases where the intended meaning requires a change
in tense, maintain the same tense within a sentence.

    Error:- shift in verb tense

        

    The sentence above begins in the past tense but shifts, without reason,
to the present tense.
 

     Error repaired

        

2
 

2. voice

    The voice of a verb may be either active or passive in a sentence. 


When a sentence contains two or more verbs, both verbs should maintain
the same voice.

    Error - shift in voice 

            

    The sentence above begins in active voice but shifts without reason to
passive voice.
 

    Error repaired

                

2
 

    Example -  emphasis on subject requires shift in voice

                

Here, the use of passive allows the sentence to focus on the subject.

         3. mood

    Shifts in mood often occur with directions, where the mood shifts
from indicative to imperative or from imperative to indicative.

Error - shift in mood

        

Error repaired

2
        

4. person

    English has three "persons" or points of view:

     first person - the speaker


           I, me, my, mine, we, us, our, ours
 
     second person - the person spoken to
         you, your, yours
 
     third person - the person or thing spoken about
         he, him, his, she, her, hers, it, its, they, them, their

    Unless the meaning of a sentence clearly requires a change, keep person


consistent within a sentence.

    Shifts in person usually occur with changes from the third to the second
person point of view.

    Error - shift in person

        

    Error repaired

2
        

    If the meaning of a sentence clearly requires a change, then you may
change person as needed.

    Example requiring a change in person

        

    Since both I and the others are doing something in the above sentence,


the shift in person is justified.

5. number

    Use singular pronouns to refer to singular antecedents; use plural


pronouns to refer to plural antecedents.

        Error - shift in number

                

2
 

        Error repaired

            

6.discourse

    There are two ways to recount someone's words.  Each way requires its
own format.

    A direct quotation gives the exact words of a speaker, surrounding the


words with quotation marks.

        Example

            

  An indirect quotation paraphrases the speaker's words and does not


place them inside quotation marks.  Even if the indirect quotation
paraphrases a question, the sentence ends with a period.

    Example

            

2
  Note the difference in the formats above:

           

    A shift in discourse occurs when, within a sentence, the writer uses the
format of one form and shifts some part to the format of the other.

    Example - shift in discourse

        

   

    Error repaired with indirect discourse

        

2
 

      Error repaired with direct discourse

          

7.  sentence construction

    A shift in sentence construction occurs when words or phrases intended


for one purpose are used for another, upsetting the natural flow of the
sentence.  Below are examples of three frequent errors that shift sentence
construction.  Below each error is an example showing one or more ways
to repair the error.

    Error -prepositional phrase used as subject

        

    Correct

         

2
 

    Error - faulty subject

        

    Correct

        
 

Using  is because, is where, or is when  in a sentence often creates a


construction shift.  Avoid this phrasing.

    Error - is because

         

    Correct

            
 

     Error - is where

2
              

     Correct

            
 

    Error -  is when

              

    Correct

            

Exercise : Tense Consistency Exercise 1


Recognizing Shifts in Sentences
Check the following sentences for confusing shifts in tense. If the tense of
each underlined verb expresses the time relationship accurately, write S
(satisfactory). If a shift in tense is not appropriate, write U (unsatisfactory)
and make necessary changes. In most cases with an inappropriate shift,
there is more than one way to correct the inconsistency. Reading the
sentences aloud will help you recognize differences in time.

___ 1. If the club limited its membership, it will have to raise its dues.


___ 2. As Barbara puts in her contact lenses, the telephone rang.
___ 3. Thousands of people will see the art exhibit by the time it closes.

2
___ 4. By the time negotiations began, many pessimists have
expressed doubt about them.
___ 5. After Capt. James Cook visited Alaska on his third voyage, he is
killed by Hawaiian islanders in 1779.
___ 6. I was terribly disappointed with my grade because I studied very
hard.
___ 7. The moderator asks for questions as soon as the speaker has
finished.
___ 8. Everyone hopes the plan would work.
___ 9. Harry wants to show his friends the photos he took last summer.
___ 10. Scientists predict that the sun will die in the distant future.
___ 11. The boy insisted that he has paid for the candy bars.
___ 12. The doctor suggested bed rest for the patient, who suffers from a
bad cold.

Answer : Tense Consistency Exercise 1


In most cases with an inappropriate shift below, there is more than one
way to correct the inconsistency. Each suggested change is probably not
the only correct one for the sentence.
Correct responses are in bold, and incorrect responses are in italics.

 U  1. If the club limited its membership, it will have to raise its dues.


(change will to would)
 U  2. As Barbara puts in her contact lenses, the telephone rang.
(change puts to put) OR As Barbara puts in her contact lenses, the
telephone rings. (change rang to rings to illustrate ongoing action)
 S  3. Thousands of people will see the art exhibit by the time it closes.
 U  4. By the time negotiations began, many pessimists have expressed
doubt about them. (change have to had )
 U  5. After Capt. James Cook visited Alaska on his third voyage,
he is killed by Hawaiian islanders in 1779. (change is to was)
 U  6. I was terribly disappointed with my grade because I studied very
hard. (change studied to had studied)
 S  7. The moderator asks for questions as soon as the speaker has
finished. (asks as habitual action; will ask is also possible)
 U  8. Everyone hopes the plan would work. (change hopes to hoped)
 S  9. Harry wants to show his friends the photos he took last summer.
 S  10. Scientists predict that the sun will die in the distant future.
 U  11. The boy insisted that he has paid for the candy bars.
(change has to had)
 U  12. The doctor suggested bed rest for the patient, who suffers from a
bad cold. (change suffers to was suffering

Exercise : Tense Consistency Exercise 2

2
Controlling Shifts in Paragraphs
Although the main tense in the following paragraph is past, the writer
correctly shifts to present tense twice. Find these two verbs in present
tense. If you encounter difficulty, try reading the paragraph aloud.

The Iroquois Indians of the Northeast regularly burned land to increase


open space for agriculture. In fact, the early settlers of Boston found so
few trees that they had to row out to the islands in the harbor to obtain
fuel. Just how far north this practice extended is uncertain, but the Saco
River in southern Maine appears to have been the original northern
boundary of the agricultural clearings. Then, pressured by European
settlement, the Iroquois extended their systematic burning far northward,
even into the Maritime Provinces of Canada. (abridged from Hay and
Farb, The Atlantic Shore)
Read the following paragraph through, and determine the main tense.
Then reread it and circle the three verbs that shift incorrectly from the
main tense.

For the past seven years, I have called myself a swimmer. Swimming, my
one sport, provides a necessary outlet for my abundant energy. I have
always drawn satisfaction from exertion, straining my muscles to their
limits. I don't know why pushing forward in the water, as my muscles
cried out in pain, sets off a booming cheer in my head. Many times when I
rounded the turn for the last lap of a race, my complaining muscles want
to downshift and idle to the finish. My mind, however, presses the pedal
to the floor and yells, "FASTER!" The moment that I touched the wall my
muscles relax; the pain subsides. I am pleased to have passed the point of
conflict. (adapted from Brendon MacLean, "Harder!")
You will notice several shifts in tense in the following paragraph
describing action in a fictional narrative. Find the six faulty shifts in tense.

In "The Use of Force" William Carlos Williams describes a struggle


involving a doctor, two parents, and their young daughter. The doctor
must obtain a throat culture from the girl, who was suspected of having
diphtheria. This ordinarily simple task is hindered by the frightened and
uncooperative patient, Mathilda Olson. Adding to the doctor's difficulties
were the parents, who had to struggle with their own conflicting emotions.
They want their daughter helped, but they did not trust the doctor to do the
right thing. Sensitive to the parents' uncertainty, the doctor became more
and more frustrated by Mathilda's resistance. Williams gives considerable
attention to how each of the Olsons react, but it is clear that his main
interest was in the doctor and his responses.(adapted from a student essay)

Answer : Tense Consistency Exercise 4


2
In this first paragraph, the two verbs in present tense--both appropriate for
the situation--are indicated in bold.

The Iroquois Indians of the Northeast regularly burned land to increase


open space for agriculture. In fact, the early settlers of Boston found so
few trees that they had to row out to the islands in the harbor to obtain
fuel. Just how far north this practice extended is uncertain, but the Saco
River in southern Maine appears to have been the original northern
boundary of the agricultural clearings. Then, pressured by European
settlement, the Iroquois extended their systematic burning far northward,
even into the Maritime Provinces of Canada. (abridged from Hay and
Farb, The Atlantic Shore)
The main tense in this next paragraph is present. Incorrect shifts to past
tense are indicated in bold.

For the past seven years, I have called myself a swimmer. Swimming, my
one sport, provides a necessary outlet for my abundant energy. I have
always drawn satisfaction from exertion, straining my muscles to their
limits. I don't know why pushing forward in the water, as my
muscles cried out in pain, sets off a booming cheer in my head. Many
times when I rounded the turn for the last lap of a race, my complaining
muscles want to downshift and idle to the finish. My mind, however,
presses the pedal to the floor and yells, "FASTER!" The moment that
I touched the wall my muscles relax; the pain subsides. I am pleased to
have passed the point of conflict. (adapted from Brendon
MacLean, "Harder!")
Since the following paragraph describes action in a fictional narrative, the
main tense should be present. The six incorrect shifts to past tense are
underlined.

In "The Use of Force" William Carlos Williams describes a struggle


involving a doctor, two parents, and their young daughter. The doctor
must obtain a throat culture from the girl, who was suspected of having
diphtheria. This ordinarily simple task is hindered by the frightened and
uncooperative patient, Mathilda Olson. Adding to the doctor's
difficulties were the parents, who had to struggle with their own
conflicting emotions. They want their daughter helped, but they did not
trust the doctor to do the right thing. Sensitive to the parents' uncertainty,
the doctor became more and more frustrated by Mathilda's resistance.
Williams gives considerable attention to how each of the Olsons react, but
it is clear that his main interest was in the doctor and his responses.
(adapted from a student essay)

2
EXERCISE 3: Shifts in Construction:
Tenses

1.  My high school track coach loves to run, and he ran every day he can.

 
2.  The basketball game will have begun by the time we will arrive.

 
3.  While only a few students cheat on exams, their dishonesty affected us all.

 
4.  Archaeology interests me quite a bit, and I would have considered making it my major if
I was not taking business classes now.

 
5.  In "Bartleby the Scrivener," Bartleby's silence caused more frustration than if he were

2
arguing out loud.

YOUR ANSWER: No answer ** OUR REVISION: My high school track coach loves to run,
and he runs every day he can.
YOUR ANSWER: No answer ** OUR REVISION: The basketball game will have begun by
the time we arrive.
YOUR ANSWER: No answer ** OUR REVISION: While only a few students cheat on
exams, their dishonesty affects us all.
YOUR ANSWER: No answer ** OUR REVISION: Archaeology interests me quite a bit, and
I would consider making it my major if I was not taking business classes now.
YOUR ANSWER: No answer ** OUR REVISION: In ''Bartleby the Scrivener,'' Bartleby's
silence causes more frustration than if he were arguing out loud. (When talking about literature,
it is customary to use present tense.)

You might also like