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Sexual Interests Checklist: Preamble
Sexual Interests Checklist: Preamble
Preamble
This checklist was written by imgomez and sweetrush, who thought the world could do with a sexual interests checklist that was not focused on BDSM.
Please feel free to make copies, make your own additions etc, but we ask that you link back to where it was originally posted,
http://community.livejournal.com/sextips/7832294.html. We'd also love to know of any changes you thought necessary.
This checklist is intended to give some help to couples just starting out talking about sex, whether they're already sexually active or not. We've taken
our cues from the issues and questions that often come up in this community, and hope you'll find it a useful tool.
For those of you not familiar with checklists, it works like this - you print out two copies of this page, and fill them in separately. Then compare
and discuss.
1. Dislike - won't do
2. Not a turn on, but might do it for my partner
3. Neutral - don't mind, or not sure
4. Quite like
5. Really like/love!
This checklist is not intended as a list of The Answers so much as a starting point for discussion and experimentation. Feel free to add your own extra
notes and comments, for example if you like the idea of something but don't feel ready for it yet. And remember that your answers are not set in stone
- in fact, expect them to change over time. This is not a binding contract!
Occasionally questions are gender-specific, or can be filled in twice (how do you feel about doing X and how do you feel about your partner doing X).
Skip questions or answer them twice as you feel is appropriate.
Incidentally - we're sure you lovely people would never neglect to discuss contraception and STIs before you become sexually active. Health is not
really the subject of this checklist, but in the interests of completeness and safety, we've included some questions about it at the end, along with links
to further resources.
The Checklist
Masturbation
Alone: 1-2-3-4-5
In front of parther: 1-2-3-4-5
Watch partner: 1-2-3-4-5
Watch each other at the same time: 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5
Erotica / Pornography
Look at sexually explicit materials (books, movies, magazines, Web sites, etc.) 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5
Alone, without partner's knowledge 1-2-3-4-5
Alone, with partner's knowledge 1-2-3-4-5
With your partner 1-2-3-4-5
Virtual sex
Phone sex with your partner: 1-2-3-4-5
Phone sex with another person: 1-2-3-4-5
Online sex chat with your partner: 1-2-3-4-5
Online sex chat with another person: 1-2-3-4-5
Online sex in a virtual environment (ex. Second Life): 1-2-3-4-5
Topics for discussion
How do you define sex?
How do you define cheating?
Oral sex
Give: 1-2-3-4-5
Receive: 1-2-3-4-5
69 (Simultaneously give and receive): 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5
Deep throat: 1-2-3-4-5
Come in mouth: 1-2-3-4-5
Come on body: 1-2-3-4-5
Come on face: 1-2-3-4-5
Snowballing: 1-2-3-4-5
Anal sex
Giving
Finger(s): 1-2-3-4-5
Toys: 1-2-3-4-5
Penis: 1-2-3-4-5
Tongue: 1-2-3-4-5
Receiving
Finger(s): 1-2-3-4-5
Toys: 1-2-3-4-5
Penis: 1-2-3-4-5
Tongue: 1-2-3-4-5
Basic positions
Missionary (face to face): 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5
Rear entry: 1-2-3-4-5
Side by side: 1-2-3-4-5
Standing: 1-2-3-4-5
Seated: 1-2-3-4-5
Other(s) (describe) 1-2-3-4-5
Period sex
Manual sex: 1-2-3-4-5
Oral sex: 1-2-3-4-5
Vaginal intercourse: 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5
Location
Room(s) other than bedroom: 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5
Car: 1-2-3-4-5
Outdoors: 1-2-3-4-5
Semi public space (describe): 1-2-3-4-5
Other (describe): 1-2-3-4-5
Topics for discussion
How important is the setting (privacy, clean room, fresh sheets, TV on or off, music, candles, etc.)?
If you are considering sex in public, do you know the laws for your area?
Wardrobe
Wear sexy clothes in private: 1-2-3-4-5
Wear sexy clothes in public: 1-2-3-4-5
Special fabric - describe (silk, leather, latex, etc.): 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5
Crossdressing: 1-2-3-4-5
Sex toys
Communication
Offer partner tips and direction: 1-2-3-4-5
Request tips and direction: 1-2-3-4-5
Sexy / dirty talk: 1-2-3-4-5
Share desires and fantasies: 1-2-3-4-5
Since this is not the place for a full discussion of birth control, we point you to the following sites for more info: Teenwire, The BBC on contraception,
Consumerreports.org comparative table of contraceptive methods, Emergency Contraception. This LJ birthcontrol community is a good place to go if
you have any further questions.
Anyone who is sexually active (including oral and anal sex) is at risk for STIs, and many people who have an STI are completely unaware of it. We
recommend you look through the following sites for more info on STIs, testing, and protection: Planned Parenthood, Teenwire, The ASHA.
The health stuff - physical and mental health
Do you have any health issues that your partner should be aware of?
Are you on any long term medication?
Can you think of any emotional hot spots? things you would absolutely not be okay with, or things that might need extra care?
We would love to hear any feedback on the checklist itself, or any experiences you had using it. Leave us a comment here, or check our profiles for
contact info.