Contents My reflection.. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

36
Forgetting to eat.. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 37
Receiving gifts.. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 38
Expressing emotion.. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 39
How to use this book.. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 10 Indecisiveness.. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 40
What is autism?.. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .11 Object permanence.. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 42
Autism traits summarised.. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 12 Story memory.. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 44
Stimming.. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 14 Verbal memory.. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 45
Eye contact.. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 15 Special interests. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 46
Imagination.. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 16 Info dumping.. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .47
Being literal. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 18 Travelling.. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 48
Sarcasm. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 20 Fairness.. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .49
Implying.. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 21 Inappropriate humour.. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 50
Non-verbal/non-speaking.. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 22 Need for rules.. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 52
Echolalia. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 24 Difficulties summarised. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 54
Alexithymia. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 26 Positives.. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 55
‘Zoning out’ or dissociating.. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 28 Meltdowns. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 56
Rigid thinking.. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 29 Shutdowns.. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .58
Making and maintaining relationships.. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 30 Masking and mimicking.. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 60
Social cues and expectations.. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 31 Unmasking.. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 62
Being overly sensitive.. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 32 You are not faking.. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 64
Toys.. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 34 Routine.. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 65
Hiding, climbing, spinning or being upside down. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .35 Changes and unmet expectations.. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 66

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 How to use this book What is autism?
The first priority is that you use this book in whatever way is the most useful to you. Autism is a neurodevelopmental condition.
But if you’d like some structure, here is my intention and a key for different components.
This book is designed to help you learn about yourself, whether you are formally or self- By definition, ‘neurodevelopmental’ means it relates to, or involves,
diagnosed, or if you are questioning whether you might be autistic. It is also designed to the development of a person’s nervous system.
help others to understand who you are and why you do certain things.
Throughout this book I wil use identity-first language, for example ‘autistic person’ or
‘autistics’. If you would like to understand why, please see page 1 26. Essential y, the nervous system is the communicator between our body and our
Use these boxes to mark off the things that brain. It controls our motor functions (movement), senses, thought processes
relate to your experience. Use these boxes and awareness, and plays a part in our learning and memory. It is also responsible for
to write, draw or regulating our internal physical state, such as body temperature.
And that’s it, really. Super simple! I hope this book helps thoughts, scribble your own
you to learn more about yourself, and becomes a useful feelings
tool to share with others. or experiences. Autism is a condition in which our nervous system has developed differently
and functions differently to that of most people. It involves all aspects of
how our minds and bodies work.

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 Social cues and expectations
Making and Social cues include body language, tone of voice, facial expression and eye contact. Social
maintaining relationships expectations are all of the unspoken rules about what is social y acceptable and what’s
not. Autistics generally have a hard time picking up on social cues and expectations.
Reasons why autistics might have difficulty making and maintaining friendships: I think one reason for this is that these cues and expectations are inconsistent
across different contexts. This can make it really difficult to figure out what
different things mean or what we are supposed to do in different situations —
especial y since we are expected to already or automatically know, and people don’t
Unsure how to interact want to explain things to us.
Unable to pick up on social rules Also, many social cues and rules make no sense. It’s difficult to follow a rule that has no
and cues logic from our perspective.
Shy or social y unconfident
Difficulty defining ‘friendship’
Lack of similar interests
Too many miscommunications or
misunderstandings
Coming across as intense or
obsessive
Different communication styles
Difficulty dealing with conflict
Being unsure if the friendship is
reciprocated
Inconsistency in interactions

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 DIFFICULTIES
summarised
+ Positives +
Here are some positive traits that often come with being autistic, in my experience.
Autistic burnout Note that everyone’s experiences are different. If you don’t relate to these,
(see page 96) I encourage you to figure out what autistic traits or experiences you  have that are
positive. Autism is a large part of a person’s identity, and viewing it entirely negatively
Meltdowns and shutdowns wil hurt you in the long run.
(see pages 56 and 58)
Masking Honest Pays attention to detail
(see page 60) Logical/analytical Punctual
Dealing with change
and unmet expectations Full of fun facts or information Has a strong sense of justice
(see page 66) Executive dysfunction about their special interests Determined
Sensory processing disorder (see page 70) Unique (being different is what
(SPD — see page 82) allows space for new ideas,
inventions, solutions and more)
Communication Poor proprioception Organised (in their own unique
difficulties (see page 90) way, perhaps! )
(see pages 100–112) Has an equality mindset
Poor interoception
(see page 92) Accepting
Creative
Open
Trouble processing Says what they mean
conversations
Difficulties with socialising (see page 100) (see page 104) Loyal
54 55
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 Sensory regulation tools
These are just some ideas — there are so many options. I’ve made this a checklist in
case you’re like me and are always looking to grow your sensory collection.
Pressure-related: Movement-related: Other:
Weighted blanket Trolley board Bubbles
Body sock Wobble cushion Bubble tube
Massage ball Wobble stool lamp
Weighted stuffed animals Spinning chair Lava lamp
Weighted lap-pad Climbing frame Indoor tent
Sensory sheet Chewelry
(soft, silicone
Sensory swing jewellery you
Fidget-related: can chew
discreetly)
Stress ball Scented
Sound-related: Bubble pop fidget candles
Noise-cancelling headphones Play dough Pets
Noise-cancelling earplugs Magnetic fidget rings
Rain or ocean drum Fidget cube
Music Infinity cube
Instruments Building blocks

86 87
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