– TRANSLATION AND EDITING OF TEXTS

Translation and Editing of 4

 TRANSLATION AND EDITING OF TEXTS

LESSON 1:
Editing of Texts
Editing means refining the translated text by incorporating preferred glossary terminology and the
style specifications established during the pre-flight phase of the project. Editing ensures that the content
no longer reads as if it was originally crafted in the target language.

A. Definition of Discourse/Rhetoric/Editing
Discourse is also used more specifically to mean "discussion", as in Descartes on Method.
Discourse is used to refer just to the special vocabulary of a particular science or social practice ("the
discourse of medicine", "the discourse of imperialism").

Rhetoric is the art of PERSUASIQN. It has to do with the presentation of ideas in clear,
persuasive language. Writing is not easy, it is not fun. It's hard and the words seldom
just not flowed, said Dr. Brock, who was once invited as speaker in school in Connecticut about writing.
He said, rewriting is the essence of writing. He added that professional writers rewrite their
sentences repeatedly and then rewrite what they have written. When he was asked, "What do you do on
days when it isn't going well?” He said he just stopped writing and put the work aside for a day when it
would go better.

B. Principles for Good Writing

Here are some principles for good writing:

1. SIMPLICITY. In art, simplicity is beauty: in writing, simplicity is good writing. We are a

society strangling in unnecessary words, circular constructions, pompous frills and
meaningless jargon. Viscous language of everyday commerce and enterprise like: business
letter, the interoffice memo, the corporation report, the notice from the bank explaining its
latest 'simplified" statement contributes to a cluttered writing

Examples: "the first step of this survey" more than, "the initial step of this survey"

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 These are the rest of the donations." rather than, "These are the remainder of the
donations.

The secret of good writing is to strip every sentence to its cleanest components. How can
writers achieve the freedom from clutter?
 Clear our heads with clutter, Clear thinking becomes clear writing. One can exist
without the other. Muddy thinker cannot write good English.
 Don't lead the reader to be an elusive reader. Span of about 60 seconds.
 Carelessness of the writers can come in numerous forms. Sentences shoddily
constructed. Switch pronouns in mid sentences or switched tenses so the reader
loses track of who is talking or when the action took place. Perhaps, Sentence B
is not a logical sequel sentence A (Swinzzer, W. 1990).
 Writers must constantly ask: What am I trying to say? What am trying to say? Have I
said it? The clear writer is someone clearheaded enough to see the stuff for what it is:
fuzz.
 Thinking clearly is a conscious act that writers must force upon themselves just as if
they were embarking on any other project that requires logic. Good writing does
not come naturally, though most people obviously think it does.
 Writing is a hard work. A clear sentence is no accident. Many sentences come
out right the first time, or even the third time.

2. CLUTTER. Fighting clutter is like fighting weeds - the writer is always lightly
behind.
Examples: "at this point in time" instead of "now", all prepositions that are draped onto verbs
that don't need any help. To write clean English you must examine every word you put on
paper. Example: Take the adjective "personal"' as in "personal friend of mine, his personal
feeling", personal physician". It's typical of the words that can be eliminated nine times out of
ten.

Examples: Numerous (many), facilitate (ease), individual (man or woman),

remainder (rest), initial (first), implement (do), sufficient (enough),
attempt (try) referred to as (called),

3. STYLE. If everything a writer thinks and write is clutter and strip every sentence to its barest
bones, will there be anything left of him? The question is a fair one and the fear
entirely natural. Simplicity carried to its extreme might seem to point to a style where the
sentences are little more sophisticated than "Dick likes Jane" and "See
Spot run."

4. AUDIENCE. Soon after confronting with the matter of preserving the identity,
another question will be asked: Who am I writing for? It's a fundamental question,
and it has a fundamental answer: You are writing yourself. Don't try to visualize the great
mass audience.

5. WORDS. There's a kind of writing that might be called journalese, and it's the death
of freshness in anybody's style. You will never make your mark as a writer unless you
develop a respect for words and a curiosity about their shades of meaning that is almost
obsessive. The English language is rich in strong and supple words. Take the time to root
around and find the ones you want. Journalese is a quilt of instant words patched together out
of other parts of speech.

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Examples: adjectives used as nouns (greats, notables). Nouns are extended
into adjectives (insightful).

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 Nouns are used as verbs (to host), or they are chopped off to form
verbs (enthuse, emote), or they are padded to form verbs (beef up, put teeth
into). This is a world where eminent people are famed' and their
associates are
'staffers', where the future is always 'upcoming' and someone is forever
a
'firing off a note.

6. USAGE. All this talk about good words and bad words bring us to a gray but important area
called "usage". What is a good usage? What is good English? What newly minted words is
O.K. to use, and who is to be judged? Is it ok to use O.K.?

7. UNITY. Unity is the anchor of good writing. It only keeps the reader from straggling off in
all directions; it satisfies the reader's subconscious need for order and gives reassurance that
all is well at the helm. Therefore choose from among the many variable and stick to your
choice.
 One choice is unity of pronoun. Are you going to write in the first person as
a participant, or in the third person as an observer?
Examples:
She said the law would favor imported products and affect the entire
local economy. She gave her strong belief on this matter.

 Unity of tense is another choice.

Examples:
It was drilled in 1984 and penetrated a substantial, gas-bearing limestone
but was not flow-tested.

 Another choice is unity of mood.

Examples:
The king of Burgundy, also, wept for his death, but the dying man said: "He does
not need to weep for the evil by whom the evil cometh. Better had left it undone,
for much is his blame."
Then said cruel Hagen, "I know not what you lament. Al is ended for us-care and
trouble. Few are they now that will withstand us. Glad am l that, through me, his
might is fallen."

8. THE LEAD. The most important sentence in any article is the first one. If it doesn't induce
the reader to proceed to the second sentence, your article is dead. And if the second sentence
doesn't induce him to continue to the third sentence, each tugging the reader forward until he
is safely hooked, a writer constructs that fateful unit, the "Lead".

9. THE ENDING. After so many words suggesting how to get started, think of how to stop.
Knowing when to end an article is far more important than most writers realize. In fact, you
should give as much thought to choosing your last sentence as you did to your first well.

10. BITS&PIECES. Includes scraps and morsels - small admonitions on many points collected
under one umbrella.

a. Verbs
Use active verbs unless there is no comfortable way to get around using passive verb. Short
is generally better than long.

Translation and Editing of 4

Examples:
Joe hit him. (is strong). He was hit by him. (is weak).
He bought a car. The car was bought by him.

b. Adverbs
Most adverbs are unnecessary. You will clutter your sentence and annoy the reader is you
choose a verb that has a precise meaning and then add an adverb that carries the
same meaning. Strong verbs are weakened by redundant adverbs.

Examples:
He clenched his teeth tightly.
The boys terribly messed up with the girls.

c. Adjectives
Most or countless adjectives are also unnecessary as other parts of speech. Like adverbs, they
are sprinkled into sentences by writers who don’t stop to think the concept is already in the
noun.

Examples:
This kind of prose is littered with precipitous cliffs and lacy spider-webs and
friendly
smiles.
She sings effortlessly easy.

d. Little Qualifiers
They dilute both you style and your persuasiveness. Prune out small words that qualify how
you feel and how you think and what you saw: “a bit”; “sort of”; “kind of”; “rather”; ‘quite”;
“very”; “too”; “pretty much”; “in a sense”; “dozens more”. Avoid saying:

You weren’t too happy because the hotel looked pretty expensive.
You were quite fortunate. (How fortunate is that?)

e. Mood Changers
This refers to words as transitional device or cohesive device in a series of sentences within a
paragraph. These devices signal the change of mood of the sentences of a paragraph. At least
a dozen of words will do this: “but”, “yet”, “however”, “nevertheless”, “still”,
“instead”, “therefore”, “meanwhile”, “now”, “today”, “subsequently”

Examples:
Yet he decided to go
Nevertheless he decided to go.
Despite the fact that all these changes had been pointed out to him, he decided to go.

f. Contraction
Your style will obviously be warmer and truer to your personality if you use contractions.

Examples:
1. I’ll and won’t when the fit comfortably into what you are writing.
2. “I’ll be glad to see them if they don’t get mad” is less stiff that “I will be glad to
see them if they do not get mad.”
3. There’s no rule against such informality – trust your ear and your instincts.
4. Avoid using – “I’d”, “he’d”, “we’d”, etc., because “I’d” can mean both “I had” and “I
would”, and reader often get well into sentence before learning which meaning it is.
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 5. Also don’t invent contraction like, “could’ve”.
g. Overstatement
Don’t overstate.
h. Credibility
Credibility is just as fragile for a writer as for a president. If the reader catches you in just one
bogus statement that you are trying to pass if off true, everything is suspect. It’s too great a
risk, and not worth taking.

i. Sexism
Probably the most vexing new question for writers is what to do about sexist
language,
especially the “he-she” pronoun. Good writers and editors are now pushing these stereotypes
out of the language.

j. Paragraphs
Keep your paragraphs short, especially if you’re writing for a newspaper or magazine that
sets its type narrow width. This is purely visual and psychological advice.

k. Punctuation Marks
These are signs and symbols apply to writing as part of mechanics in writing in order
to
produce a correct organization of ideas.

l. Capitalization
1. First Words. Capitalize the first words of sentences, lines of poetry, and items in an
outline

The rose upon my balcony The

morning air perfuming, Was
leafless all the winter time And
pining for the spring
- William Makepeace Thackeneray

2. Proper Names. Proper names are capitalized.

Rome Philippines Gabriel Garcia

Italy India George Bush

3. Derivatives of Proper Names. Derivatives of proper names used with a proper

meaning are capitalized.

Roman Noranean Italian

4. Common Nouns and Adjectives in Proper Names. A common noun or an adjective

forming an essential part of a proper name is capitalized; the common noun used alon
as a substitute for the name of a place or thing is not capitalized.

5. Definite articles in Proper Place Names. To achieve the greater distinction or

to adhere to the authorized form, the word “the” (or its equivalent in a foreign
language) used as a part of an official name or title is capitalized. When such
name is used adjectively, “the” is not capitalized.

“The Dalles” (Ore); “The Weirs” (N.H); but “the Dalles region”
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 6. Names of Organized Bodies. The full names of organizations and their
shortened names are capitalized; other substitutes usually are not capitalized.

U.S. Congress; 98th Congress; the Congress; the Senate; the House; Committee of
the
Whole
Department of Agriculture; the department
U.S. Army; the Army; the Infantry; 81st Regiment; the Army Band; Army Officer; Regular
Army Officer
United Nations; the U.N. Council, the U.N. Assembly

KEEP IN MIND
 Discourse is also used more specifically to mean "discussion", as in Descartes on Method.
 Rhetoric is the art of PERSUASIQN. It has to do with the presentation of ideas in
clear, persuasive language.
 Writing is not easy, it is not fun, hence the following principles of good writing must
be considered:
a. Simplicity
b. Clutter
c. Style
d. Audience
e. Words
f. Usage
g. Unity
h. The Lead
i. The Ending
j. Bits and Pieces (in writing)

COMPREHENSION CHECK
 How important is editing in the writing process?
 Expound the statement “rewriting is the essence of writing”.

To validate your answer, feel free to contact your course facilitator through any of the following:
 Facebook: Romer Vergara
 Contact No.: 09552797407
 Email address: baunillo1997@gmail.com

References:

Lasconia, R. B. Translation and Editing. Retrieved from http://sksutranslation.com/. Accessed on

August 20, 2020.

Marquez, F.F.(n.y). Translation and Editing of Text. PNU LET Reviewer

SCRIBD. Translation and Editing Text. “Translation: Language Interpretation”. Retrieved

from
https://www.scribd.com/document/379380944/Translation-Editing-Text. Accessed on August 20,
Translation and Editing of 5
 2020

Activity 1 – Evaluating a Sample

Text

Instruction: Evaluate the sample text below against the Principles of Good Writing. Write your
comments and observation about the deficits, errors and the aspects that should be improved
on the space provided.

Assume this passage is part of a press

release.

James Wilson thinks the use of the green creme is best and he proscribes it often. It's affect lasts longer
and has deeper penetration to the skin. Patience who develop a skin rush are told to ask advise from their
local Doctor. Neither James or Jame's colleges can be responsible for any condition developed if you
chose to use this medecine. You are reminded to use too much than you need. Irregardless, Dr Wilsson
says that "if you have problems, let Proffesor Black and I know". Although Dr Wilson specializes in
skin conditions from hid office downtown, he also utilises his skill overseas in voluntary circumstances.
this is different to many of his pears who avoid doing something to help others. Dr Wilson insists he is
onto an important principal, that helping everyone is good for them. When asked who he should help Mr
Wilson says “any one in need’. He further say, ‘if you are adverse to doing good things you will never
achieve you full potential and will for ever remain stationery in you're life. The High Street is harder but
more rewarding in the longer run.’ He adds that he has born much in his own life and wants
to contribute back to the society and while he does not want to infer that others are amoral, he does
wander about there will to sacrifice. His unpaid work is complimentary to his full-time paid work. Even
so he is carefull to keep the 2 areas of his actions discreet to avoid issues with the government. He also
doesn’t flout his generosity publicly, its his practise to be humble. “I try to insure that I do not loose
perspective and have an inflated opinion of what I do”. Dr Wilson is obviously a philanderer whose
greatly admired by all who know him. [Dr wilson has authorised this statement.

Your comment and

evaluation:

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Translation and Editing of 5