Jjcmcom 0415
Jjcmcom 0415
Jjcmcom 0415
Rebecca Heino
McDonough School of Business
Georgetown University
Jennifer Gibbs
Communication Department
Rutgers University
doi:10.1111/j.1083-6101.2006.00020.x
Introduction
The online dating arena represents an opportunity to document changing cultural
norms surrounding technology-mediated relationship formation and to gain
insight into important aspects of online behavior, such as impression formation
and self-presentation strategies. Mixed-mode relationships, wherein people first
meet online and then move offline, challenge established theories that focus on
Journal of Computer-Mediated Communication 11 (2006) 415–441 ª 2006 International Communication Association 415
exclusively online relationships and provide opportunities for new theory develop-
ment (Walther & Parks, 2002). Although previous research has explored relation-
ship development and self-presentation online (Bargh, McKenna, & Fitzsimons,
2002; McLaughlin, Osbourne, & Ellison, 1997; Parks & Floyd, 1996; Roberts &
Parks, 1999; Utz, 2000), the online dating forum is qualitatively different from many
other online settings due to the anticipation of face-to-face interaction inherent in
this context (Gibbs, Ellison, & Heino, 2006) and the fact that social practices are still
nascent.
Literature Review
In contrast to a technologically deterministic perspective that focuses on the char-
acteristics of the technologies themselves, or a socially deterministic approach
that privileges user behavior, this article reflects a social shaping perspective. Social
shaping of technology approaches (Dutton, 1996; MacKenzie & Wajcman, 1985;
416 Journal of Computer-Mediated Communication 11 (2006) 415–441 ª 2006 International Communication Association
Woolgar, 1996) acknowledge the ways in which information and communication
technologies (ICTs) both shape and are shaped by social practices. As Dutton points
out, ‘‘technologies can open, close, and otherwise shape social choices, although not
always in the ways expected on the basis of rationally extrapolating from the per-
ceived properties of technology’’ (1996, p. 9). One specific framework that reflects
this approach is Howard’s (2004) embedded media perspective, which acknowledges
both the capacities and the constraints of ICTs. Capacities are those aspects of
technology that enhance our ability to connect with one another, enact change,
Journal of Computer-Mediated Communication 11 (2006) 415–441 ª 2006 International Communication Association 417
between authenticity and impression management is inherent in many aspects of
self-disclosure. In making decisions about what and when to self-disclose, individ-
uals often struggle to reconcile opposing needs such as openness and autonomy
(Greene, Derlega, & Mathews, 2006).
Interactants in online environments experience these same pressures and desires,
but the greater control over self-presentational behavior in CMC allows individuals
to manage their online interactions more strategically. Due to the asynchronous
nature of CMC, and the fact that CMC emphasizes verbal and linguistic cues over
418 Journal of Computer-Mediated Communication 11 (2006) 415–441 ª 2006 International Communication Association
Credibility Assessment and Demonstration in Online Self-Presentation
Misrepresentation in Online Environments
As discussed, online environments offer individuals an increased ability to
control their self-presentation, and therefore greater opportunities to engage in
misrepresentation (Cornwell & Lundgren, 2001). Concerns about the prospect of
online deception are common (Bowker & Tuffin, 2003; Donath, 1999; Donn &
Sherman, 2002), and narratives about identity deception have been reproduced in
Journal of Computer-Mediated Communication 11 (2006) 415–441 ª 2006 International Communication Association 419
the use of recorded media (in which messages are archived in some fashion, such as
an online dating profile) will discourage lying. Also, online dating participants are
typically seeking a romantic partner, which may lower their motivation for mis-
representation compared to other online relationships. Further, Cornwell and
Lundgren (2001) found that individuals involved in online romantic relationships
were more likely to engage in misrepresentation than those involved in face-to-face
romantic relationships, but that this was directly related to the level of involvement.
That is, respondents were less involved in their cyberspace relationships and there-
420 Journal of Computer-Mediated Communication 11 (2006) 415–441 ª 2006 International Communication Association
Walther and Parks (2002) propose the concept of ‘‘warranting’’ as a useful con-
ceptual tool for understanding how users validate others’ online identity cues (see
also Stone, 1996). The connection, or warrant, between one’s self-reported online
persona and one’s offline aspects of self is less certain and more mutable than in face-
to-face settings (Walther & Parks, 2002). In online settings, users will look for signals
that are difficult to mimic or govern in order to assess others’ identity claims
(Donath, 1999). For instance, individuals might use search engines to locate news-
group postings by the person under scrutiny, knowing that this searching is covert
Method
In order to gain insight into this question, we interviewed online dating participants
about their experiences, thoughts, and behaviors. The qualitative data reported in
this article were collected as part of a larger research project which surveyed a national
random sample of users of a large online dating site (N = 349) about relational goals,
honesty and self-disclosure, and perceived success in online dating. The survey
findings are reported in Gibbs et al. (2006).
Research Site
Our study addresses contemporary CMC theory using naturalistic observations.
Participants were members of a large online dating service, ‘‘Connect.com’’ (a
pseudonym). Connect.com currently has 15 million active members in more than
200 countries around the world and shares structural characteristics with many
other online dating services, offering users the ability to create profiles, search
others’ profiles, and communicate via a manufactured email address. In their
profiles, participants may include one or more photographs and a written
(open-ended) description of themselves and their desired mate. They also answer
a battery of closed-ended questions, with preset category-based answers, about
descriptors such as income, body type, religion, marital status, and alcohol usage.
Users can conduct database searches that generate a list of profiles that match their
desired parameters (usually gender, sexual orientation, age, and location). Initial
communication occurs through a double-blind email system, in which both email
addresses are masked, and participants usually move from this medium to others as
the relationship progresses.
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Data Collection
Given the relative lack of prior research on the phenomenon of online dating, we
used qualitative methods to explore the diverse ways in which participants under-
stood and made sense of their experience (Berger & Luckman, 1980) through their
own rich descriptions and explanations (Miles & Huberman, 1994). We took an
inductive approach based on general research questions informed by literature on
online self-presentation and relationship formation rather than preset hypotheses. In
addition to asking about participants’ backgrounds, the interview protocol included
422 Journal of Computer-Mediated Communication 11 (2006) 415–441 ª 2006 International Communication Association
in June and July 2003. Interviews were conducted by telephone, averaging 45 minutes
and ranging from 30 to 90 minutes in length. The interview database consisted of 551
pages, including 223,001 words, with an average of 6559 words per interview.
Data Analysis
All of the phone interviews were audio-recorded, transcribed, and checked for accu-
racy by the researcher who conducted the interview. Atlas.ti, a software program
used for qualitative content analysis, was used to analyze interview transcripts. Data
Findings
These interview data offer insight into the self-presentation strategies utilized by
participants in order to maximize the benefits and minimize the risks of online
dating. Many of these strategies revolved around the profile, which is a crucial
self-presentation tool because it is the first and primary means of expressing one’s
self during the early stages of a correspondence and can therefore foreclose or create
relationship opportunities. These strategies are intimately connected to the specific
characteristics of the online dating context: fewer cues, an increased ability to man-
age self-presentation, and the need to establish credibility.
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The Importance of Small Cues
When discussing their self-presentational strategies, many participants directly or
indirectly referred to the fact that they carefully attended to subtle, almost minute
cues in others’ presentational messages, and often seemed to take the same degree of
care when crafting their own messages. As suggested by SIP (Walther, 1992), subtle
cues such as misspellings in the online environment are important clues to identity
for CMC interactants. For instance, one participant said she looked for profiles that
were well-written, because ‘‘I just think if they can’t spell or . . . formulate sentences,
424 Journal of Computer-Mediated Communication 11 (2006) 415–441 ª 2006 International Communication Association
what are you doing writing me?’’ This email helped him realize how much of a ‘‘night
owl’’ he was, and ‘‘how not attractive that may be for women I’m writing because it’s
very clear the time I send the email.’’ Over time, he also realized that the length of his
emails was shaping impressions of him, and he therefore regulated their length. He
said:
In the course of [corresponding with others on the site] I became aware of
how I had to present myself. Also, I became quite aware that I had to be very
Ideal Self
One way in which participants reconciled their conflicting needs for positive self-
presentation and accuracy was to create profiles that described a potential, future
Journal of Computer-Mediated Communication 11 (2006) 415–441 ª 2006 International Communication Association 425
version of self. In some cases, participants described how they or others created
profiles that reflected an ideal as opposed to actual self: ‘‘Many people describe
themselves the way they want [to be] . . . their ideal themselves.’’ For example,
individuals might identify themselves as active in various activities (e.g., hiking,
surfing) in which they rarely participated, prompting one participant to proclaim
sarcastically, ‘‘I’ve never known so many incredibly athletic women in my life!’’ One
participant explained,
426 Journal of Computer-Mediated Communication 11 (2006) 415–441 ª 2006 International Communication Association
Circumventing Constraints
In addition to impression management pressures, participants’ expressed desires for
accurate representation were stymied by various constraints, including the technical
interface of the website. In order to activate an online profile, participants had to
complete a questionnaire with many closed-ended responses for descriptors such as
age, body type, zip code, and income. These answers became very important because
they were the variables that others used to construct searches in order to narrow the
vast pool of profiles. In fact, the front page of Connect.com includes a ‘‘quick’’ search
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constraints of the site may have initiated a more subtle form of misrepresentation
when participants were required to choose among a limited set of options, none of
which described them sufficiently. For instance, when creating their profiles, partic-
ipants had to designate their ‘‘perfect date’’ by selecting one from a dozen or so
generic descriptions, which was frustrating for those who did not see any that were
particularly appealing. In another case, one participant complained that there was
not an option to check ‘‘plastic surgery’’ as one of his ‘‘turn-offs’’ and thus he felt
forced to try to discern this from the photos; yet another participant expressed his
Foggy Mirror
In addition to the cases in which misrepresentation was triggered by technical con-
straints or the tendency to present an idealized self, participants described a third
branch of unintentional misrepresentation triggered by the limits of self-knowledge.
We call this phenomenon ‘‘foggy mirror’’ based on this participant’s explanation:
People like to write about themselves. Sometimes it’s not truthful, but it’s how
they see themselves and that gives you a different slant on an individual. This is
how they really see themselves. Sometimes you will see a person who weighs 900
pounds and—this is just an exaggeration—and they will have on spandex,
you’ll think, ‘‘God, I wish I had their mirror, because obviously their mirror
tells them they look great.’’ It’s the same thing with online. (KarieK, Bay Area
Female)
This user acknowledges that sometimes others weren’t lying per se, but the fact
that their self-image differed from others’ perceptions meant that their textual self-
descriptions would diverge from a third party’s description. In explaining this phe-
nomenon, KarieK used the metaphor of a mirror to emphasize the self-reflexive
nature of the profile. She also refers to the importance of subtle cues when she notes
that a user’s self-presentation choices give one a ‘‘different slant on an individual.’’
The term ‘‘foggy mirror’’ thus describes the gap between self-perceptions and the
assessments made by others. The difference might be overly positive (which was
typically the case) or negative, as the below example illustrates. A male participant
explained:
There was one gal who said that she had an ‘‘average’’ body shape. . . . When I
met her she was thin, and she said she was ‘‘average,’’ but I think she has
a different concept of what ‘‘average’’ is. So I then widened my scope [in terms
of search parameters] and would go off the photographs. What a woman thinks
is an ‘‘average’’ body and what I think is an ‘‘average’’ body are two different
things. (joet8, Los Angeles Male)
In this case, the participant acknowledged the semantic problems that accom-
pany textual self-descriptions and adopted a strategy of relying on photographs
428 Journal of Computer-Mediated Communication 11 (2006) 415–441 ª 2006 International Communication Association
as visual, objective evidence, instead of subjective, ambiguous terms like ‘‘aver-
age.’’ To counter the ‘‘foggy mirror’’ syndrome in their own profiles, some indi-
viduals asked friends or family members to read their profiles in order to validate
them.
In regards to self-presentation, the most significant tension experienced by par-
ticipants was one not unique to the online medium: mediating between the pressures
to present an enhanced or desired self (Goffman, 1959) and the need to present one’s
true self to a partner in order to achieve intimacy (Reis & Shaver, 1988). In their
Establishing Credibility
The increased ability to engage in selective self-presentation, and the absence of
visual cues in the online environment, meant that accuracy of self-presentation
was a salient issue for our interviewees. The twin concerns that resulted from these
factors—the challenge of establishing the credibility of one’s own self-descriptions
while assessing the credibility of others’ identity claims—affected one another in
a recursive fashion. In an environment in which there were limited outside confir-
matory resources to draw upon, participants developed a set of rules for assessing
others while incorporating these codes into their own self-presentational messages.
For example, one participant made sure that her profile photograph showed her
standing up because she felt that sitting or leaning poses were a camouflage technique
used by heavier people. This illustrates the recursive way in which participants
developed rules for assessing others (e.g., avoid people in sitting poses) while also
applying these rubrics to their own self-presentational messages (e.g., don’t show self
in sitting pose).
Participants adopted specific tactics in order to compensate for the fact that
traditional methods of information seeking were limited and that self-reported
descriptions were subject to intentional or unintentional misrepresentation when
others took advantage of the ‘‘selective self-presentation’’ (Walther & Burgoon,
1992) available in CMC. As one participant noted, ‘‘You’re just kind of blind, you
don’t know if what they’re saying in their profile online is true.’’ Acknowledging the
potential for misrepresentation, participants also sought to ‘‘show’’ aspects of their
personality in their profiles versus just ‘‘telling’’ others about themselves. They cre-
ated their profiles with an eye towards stories or content that confirmed specific
personality traits rather than including a ‘laundry list’ of attributes. As one Los
Journal of Computer-Mediated Communication 11 (2006) 415–441 ª 2006 International Communication Association 429
Angeles male participant explained, ‘‘I attempted to have stories in my profile
somewhat to attempt to demonstrate my character, as opposed to, you know, [just
writing] ‘I’m trustworthy,’ and all that bit.’’ This emphasis on demonstration as
opposed to description was a tactic designed to circumvent the lack of a shared
social context that would have warranted identity claims and hedged against blatant
deception.
Another aspect of ‘‘showing’’ included the use of photographs, which served
to warrant or support claims made in textual descriptions. Profile photographs
Discussion
The primary goal of the online dating participants interviewed for this study was
to find someone with whom they could establish a dating relationship (although
desired commitment level and type of relationship varied across participants).
Given this, they attempted to achieve their goals while contending with the
unique characteristics of the online environment, engaging in strategies designed
to circumvent the constraints of the online dating environment while exploiting
its capacities. One constraint—the lack of nonverbal cues—meant that the task
of interpreting the remaining cues became paramount in regards to both assess-
ment of others and presentation of self. Since the goal of most online dating
participants was to identify and interact with potential romantic partners, indi-
viduals strove to highlight their positive attributes and capitalize on the greater per-
ceived control over self-presentation inherent in the medium. However, the future
face-to-face interaction they anticipated meant that individuals had to balance
their desire for self-promotion with their need for accurate self-presentation. In
response to the risk of misrepresentation online, made possible by the selective
self-presentation affordances of CMC, participants adopted various strategies to
430 Journal of Computer-Mediated Communication 11 (2006) 415–441 ª 2006 International Communication Association
demonstrate the credibility of their identity claims, recursively applying the same
techniques they employed to uncover representational ruses in others. Our find-
ings suggest that participants consistently engaged in creative workarounds (cir-
cumvention strategies) as they went through the process of posting a profile,
selecting individuals to contact, and communicating with potential romantic
partners. Our data also highlight the recursive process by which some partic-
ipants constructed rules of thumb for assessing others (e.g., an inactive account
indicates a lack of availability or interest) while simultaneously incorporating
Theoretical Implications
As individuals make initial decisions about potential partners, they form impressions
that help reduce uncertainty about the other (Berger & Calabrese, 1975). For this to
happen in the context of CMC, SIP argues, individuals will adapt their behaviors to
the cues that are available (Tidwell & Walther, 2002; Walther, 1992) to convey
information to one another. While empirical support for SIP has been demonstrated
(see Walther & Parks, 2002 for a review), this article is among the few to provide
evidence for SIP in a naturalistic setting. Our data show that in the initial interactions
of online dating participants, stylistic aspects of messages such as timing, length, and
grammar appear equally as important as the content of the message itself; this is
consistent with SIP’s formulation that when nonverbal cues are decreased, the
remaining cues become more salient to users. Previous laboratory studies of SIP
have tended to focus on the manipulation of a subset of cues. A unique contribution
of this study’s extension of SIP is its demonstration of the organic interplay of these
alternative sources of social information online.
Although much of the public debate about online dating has centered on the
medium’s inability to ensure participants’ truthful self-descriptions, our interview
data suggest that the notion that people frequently, explicitly, and intentionally ‘‘lie’’
online is simplistic and inaccurate. Exploring the question of whether participants
created a playful or fantastical identity online (Stone, 1996; Turkle, 1995) or were
more open and honest (Rubin, 1975), we found that the online dating participants
we spoke with claimed that they attempted to present an accurate self-representation
online, a finding echoed in our survey data (Gibbs et al., 2006). This study highlights
the fact that creating an accurate online representation of self in this context is
a complex and evolving process in which participants attempt to attract desirable
partners while contending with constraints such as those posed by technological
design and the limits of self-knowledge.
In some cases, the technical constraints of the site may have unintentionally
enabled acts of misrepresentation, for instance when participants slightly altered
information in situations in which they felt an arbitrary data point (in age, for
example) would significantly harm their chances of being discovered by a potential
mate. Additionally, self-reported descriptions that use subjective terms (e.g., ‘‘pretty’’
Journal of Computer-Mediated Communication 11 (2006) 415–441 ª 2006 International Communication Association 431
or ‘‘average’’) could also result in unintentional misrepresentation due to different
interpretations of these terms. Additionally, as Shah and Kesan point out, ‘‘Defaults
have a legitimating effect, because they carry information about what most people
are expected to do’’ (2003, p. 7). In the case of online dating, it may be that the
default settings in the search field (i.e., an age range, whether searches are limited to
profiles with photographs) influence user perceptions of the desirability or appro-
priateness of certain responses.
Additionally, our interview data suggest that online representations of one’s ideal
Practical Implications
Given that deceptive practices are a concern for online dating participants, future
research should explore the ways in which online dating sites could implement
design features aimed at addressing these issues. For instance, they could acknowl-
edge and incorporate aspects of a shared social context, similar to social networking
sites like Friendster (Donath & boyd, 2004), through the use of testimonials or social
network visualizations. Online dating sites could adopt some of the design features
used in e-commerce sites, such as testimonials, user rating systems, or social network
visualizations, where participants also must operate in an uncertain environment in
432 Journal of Computer-Mediated Communication 11 (2006) 415–441 ª 2006 International Communication Association
which warranting is difficult and deception can be costly (Resnick & Zeckhauser,
2002).
A second design consideration is the possibility that the technical characteristics
of some online dating sites may privilege objective characteristics (such as demo-
graphic features) and de-emphasize the process of seeing others as individuals rather
than as amalgams of various traits. The benefit, or capacity, of online dating is that
participants can use specific search parameters to cull a subset of profiles from
a larger database. Participants acknowledged that the online dating environment
Limitations
We chose to conduct interviews with online dating participants in order to gain
insight into how they perceived their experiences and the processes through which
they learned to avoid the pitfalls and exploit the possibilities of online dating.
However, there are several limitations that should be acknowledged in our method
and sample. Limitations of this study include the sampling of only participants
located on the West Coast. While Connect.com members are worldwide, we cannot
assess if regional or national differences affect the online dating experience. A major
limitation is the potential for self-selection bias, as participants volunteered for the
study. While demographically diverse, those that chose to volunteer might be biased
toward a more positive outlook on online dating or potentially more honest in their
online dating practices.
In addition, the self-reported nature of the data may have resulted in a social
desirability bias, making participants less likely to admit to intentional misrepresen-
tation. Finally, many of our findings may be specific to Connect.com’s model of
online dating, in which participants post profiles and select with whom they want to
Journal of Computer-Mediated Communication 11 (2006) 415–441 ª 2006 International Communication Association 433
communicate. Other online dating sites, such as eHarmony, utilize a very different
model, acting as online matchmakers where individuals who are found to be com-
patible are paired based on personality tests developed by ‘‘expert’’ psychologists.
Future research could assess whether variables like self-efficacy predict which model
users choose to utilize. Although our observations in this article were based on the
sample as a whole, we acknowledge that there may be differences (for instance, along
gender lines) which are beyond the scope of this article but which could be explored
in future research.
Acknowledgments
The authors thank Karen Aroian, Ulla Bunz, Annika Hylmo, Edythe Hough, Patrick
O’Sullivan, Charles Steinfield, Joe Walther, and two anonymous reviewers for their
helpful comments and suggestions regarding this manuscript.
Notes
1 Similar to the concept of ‘‘workaround’’ employed by designers and software engineers,
users engage in circumvention strategies to neutralize constraints—or turn them into
capabilities. Prior CMC research has identified similar processes in interpersonal contexts.
For instance, O’Sullivan (2000) found that users chose mediated channels over face-
to-face communication in situations where a preferred impression was expected to be
violated in order to capitalize on the face-saving capabilities of mediated interaction.
Similarly, CMC researchers working in other contexts have noted the process by which
individuals adapt their behavior to compensate for the limitations imposed by the
medium in order to pursue their communication goals (Walther, Loh, & Granka, 2005).
2 All identifying information about our participants has been changed to protect their
confidentiality, although we have attempted to use pseudonyms that reflect the tone and
spirit of their chosen screen names. Additionally, at the request of our research site, we
have used a pseudonym in place of the site’s actual name.
434 Journal of Computer-Mediated Communication 11 (2006) 415–441 ª 2006 International Communication Association
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(continued)
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Appendix 1 Continued
Code Sample Quotes
Cues Masked/Amplified ‘‘Another guy was really, like, seemed so awesome on the
phone, had a really fun personality, worked in TV and we had
the greatest conversation. I met him in Santa Monica, where
he lived, and first of all he had no personality. And I was like,
‘oh my God, either it just radically changed overnight or he is
440 Journal of Computer-Mediated Communication 11 (2006) 415–441 ª 2006 International Communication Association
Address: Dept. of Telecommunications, Information Studies, and Media, Michigan
State University, 403 Communication Arts and Sciences, East Lansing, MI 48824
USA
Journal of Computer-Mediated Communication 11 (2006) 415–441 ª 2006 International Communication Association 441