Tactics Tuesdays: Bait Then Subvert

By: Alek Rolstad

Hey guys and welcome back.

Table of Contents

Bait—a Hook Technique

Subverting Expectations

Building Intrigue

Controversy Baits and Subverting Expectations

Conclusion

Today we will discuss hook techniques that will immerse her deeper into the
interaction and serve as a transition into any topic.

Curiosity leads to immersion. When she’s immersed, transitions are easier because
she’s hooked in. Immersion generates compliance—she will listen to what you say.

Because of the “hooking” nature of these gambits, they work exceptionally well for
early game when you don’t yet have a hook and have time for fancier transitions. In
these settings, baits can be a shortcut to deliver a transition quickly.

Also, generating curiosity early solidifies your hook post-opening. You stimulate,
intrigue, and immerse her. It helps you proceed smoothly.

Of course, you can use baits anytime during the interaction. It keeps the
interaction fun and fresh. However, you get the most bang for your buck by adding
them early.

Bait—a Hook Technique

Using a bait sparks her curiosity about a subject. To do this, start speaking about
something that gets her curious to hear the rest.

You can use a classic open-question bait:

“Do you know what’s interesting?”

“Do you know who you remind me of?” (credit to Gunwitch)

“Do you know a funny difference between men and women?”

“Do you know the crazy story about this place/club/hood?”

“Did you see what happened outside?”

“Holy crap, did you see what just happened?”

“Did you hear what that dude/girl said?”

These unanswered and vague questions generate curiosity.

You can transition these into any interesting topic that conveys attractive traits.
Transition them into stimulating stories, which relay appealing traits indirectly,
such as high social value. You can also use questions to transition into a gambit.

Some examples:

“Do you know what’s interesting?”

“Well, this venue used to be a gay place, and over here were darkrooms with tons of
crazy stuff happening.” (situational fun fact)

“Do you know who you remind me of?”

“You will get mad if I tell you.” (building intrigue, before following up with
something silly, like “a sweeter version of my ex.”)

“Do you know one funny difference between men and women?”

“Men only use a quarter of a double bed; women use three-quarters.” Need
inspiration? See Differences Between Men and Women

my side, her side pillowsWomen take up a lot of bed space…

“Do you know the crazy story about this place/club/hood?”

“Moliere, the famous French writer, is buried beneath us.” (True story! I go to a
club above Moliere’s grave.)

“Did you hear what that dude/girl said?”

“She told that guy she was a lesbian and that if he identified as a girl, she would
screw him.”

A bait can also be an open and catchy statement about something you did or
experienced.

“I heard/read something crazy the other day.” (You can follow up and combine this
with a proxy transition.)

“Women get chilled so easily because their blood circulation is weaker than men’s!
(I think this is true; a doctor told me that.)

“I saw/experienced something cool last weekend.”

Relay a story about a cool experience.

“Someone told me something crazy/interesting.” (This can be followed up and

combined with a proxy transition).

Story time!

“I reflected on something fascinating last night.”

Share an observation that conveys something intriguing or stimulating. I will share

advanced baiting techniques shortly, and next week I will dive into how to use
baits and subversion of expectations specifically for sex talk. I will also list
some examples that can transition into sexual subjects here.
Subverting Expectations
With this technique, you use a bait gambit to accomplish the same effect as above;
however, it also generates a roller-coaster effect: a stimulating bait that
subverts her expectations.

A bait works because it provokes a reaction—it creates a curiosity or an

expectation. When you subvert this, you generate an anti-climax or mention
something the girl did not expect. It is stimulating because she is caught by
surprise. It creates contrast and an emotional up-and-down. The stimulation that
results hooks her in because you are the source of emotional stimulation.
Interacting with you is fun!

Here are some examples:

“Do you know my favorite thing to do with women?”

Dress them up in my clothes” (I actually like doing that!)

“Do you know what I want to do with you right now?”

Tequila shots!

“There is something I must tell you.” (said in a serious tone)

“I am pregnant but will abort because the woman who impregnated me was ugly.”
(credit to my gay friend)

“Do you know what will happen between you and me if we keep talking?”

I will adopt you as my new little sister.

“Do you know how you can screw over a girl who competes with you over a guy?”

Walk next to her as she talks with the guy, drop a smelly and stealthy fart, and
leave.” (legitimate technique)

woman in dress passing gasShe’ll be toast.

“How do you know when you are truly in a relationship with someone?”

When you have smelled each other’s poop.” (Actually, kind of true)

You get the idea. You answer with something that she would not expect. It’s
stimulating.

Building Intrigue
If you want to add additional spice, build intrigue. It’s pretty simple: create and
tease the release.

“Do you know what will happen between you and me if we keep talking?”

“I won’t tell you because you will be overly excited.”

“If I tell you, it may kill the fun.”
“If I tell you, you will get mad.”
“It is too much info for you, I think.”
“You seem so innocent, and it may be too much for you.”
“You promise to keep the secret? Promise! It is only between you and me.”
She will start requesting that you deliver or even beg for the release. And when
that happens, deliver the release: “I will adopt you as my new little sister.”

You can stack them to use multiples in a row to really build the intrigue. But more
importantly, you’ll make her invest when she requests your answer—or even better—
beg for it!

You can find more details here:

How to Hook Girls In, Pt.3: Building Intrigue

How to Hook Girls In, Pt.4: Practical Applications of Intrigue

Controversy Baits and Subverting Expectations

The idea is to spark a reaction by saying something controversial that may trigger
her. When she’s triggered, she’s invested. It also stimulates her, which helps you
hook.

There’s a catch, though. Saying something to trigger someone may immerse, but it
will not establish rapport. Quite the contrary, it will do the opposite; at worst,
you may generate a conflict.

You do not want that. Some say that creating a conflict is a great seduction tool.
I do not buy it and do not advocate it.

So how do you benefit from using a controversial bait (that is, get the positive,
stimulating, and immersive effects) without the cons (the rapport-breaking impact)?

I will not lie; this technique requires good conversational control and may be
challenging, although it’s far from impossible.

How do you do this?

You subvert expectations.

I’ll start with an example and break it down.

“Women are so privileged.”

or:

“Do you know why I think women are so privileged?”

Whether you agree with this statement or not, you cannot deny that in many
countries, this can be considered “socially controversial,” especially after recent
talk about male privilege.

If you say that, you WILL get a reaction, usually an angry or upset face.

But then you follow up by subverting expectations.

“Yeah, I went shopping today, and it is so unfair how women have two floors and so
many flashy and cool clothes to choose from, whereas as a guy, I only have white
T’s, blue jeans, and other boring stuff spread out on just one floor.”

I just subverted her expectations.

And she giggles. She is hooked. She gets stimulated by your controversial bait.
Then, her tension is released. It works like a roller-coaster on her emotions. It
is stimulating, and it gets her hooked.
Some examples:

“I don’t think sexualizing women is objectifying them.”

“Women are weird.”

“Transgender people should not be part of the LGBTQ+ community.”

“Should I call my friend a whore?”

“Women don’t know what they want.”

“Women hate sex.”

I follow up with a clarification that subverts their expectation. When I deliver a

bait like this, they expect me to follow up with some chauvinistic, stereotypical,
misogynistic statement—but nope! That’s when I subvert their expectation.

Let’s use the examples above and provide follow-ups where I subvert expectations.

“I don’t think sexualizing women is objectifying them.”

Subversion: “Why? Because sex is part of being human, and women have a sexual
persona, making them sexual subjects.”

“Women are weird.”

“Why do they always feel so aroused during their periods?”

blood-stained nude couple on floorIt’s always like that…

“Transgender people should not be part of the LGBTQ+ community.”

“I believe that! Because they identify as either man or woman, thus making them
heterosexual.” (True story: many trans people believe that too, which is why they
have their own flag, which looks cool.)

“Should I call my friend a whore?”

“Every time I call him/her a whore, he/she responds that he/she is not a whore, but
a skank.” (True story - my gay friend hates it when I call him a whore, because he
says he is a skaaaaaank.)

“Women don’t know what they want.”

“They can’t seem to choose whether Mr. Big from Sex and the City is hot or a jerk,
but my ex said he was hot and sexy because he was a jerk, in a nice guy way. Does
that makes any sense to you?”

“Women hate sex.”

“They hate sex only with guys they don’t want. But it seems most guys hitting on
them fall into that category.” (pacing!)

Notice how all my subverted expectations are quite innocent and fun. This is
important because you want to balance the negative aspect with the controversial
bait.

If you are afraid that the initial bait may cause an uncontrollable burst, you can
always use a tension breaker to lower the effect. This will tone it down.

Examples:

“I don’t think sexualizing women is objectifying them.”

“It’s not what you think.” And then proceed with whatever you want to say.

“Should I call my friend a whore?”

“His opinion may shock you!” And proceed with whatever you want to say.

“All women are weird.”

“Don’t worry, it is in a funny way.” And then proceed with whatever you want to
say.

Got it? It’s pretty straightforward.

Conclusion
Use baiting and subversion to grab her attention, immerse, and stimulate her. This
technique is ideal for the early game since she may not be fully hooked in yet, and
you are not quite “into” the interaction with her. Your goal is to make her feel
curious and excited about talking to you. These techniques can be very handy when
you find yourself in those scenarios.

Bait and subvert whenever you want to spice things up and avoid the interaction
turning dull. They can also be GREAT transitions into other techniques, like
interesting topics, stories, or gambits.

man and woman flirting on couchDraw her in with the bait, and subvert her
expectations after.
Feel free to steal my examples or tweak them to your style. You may use this post
as an inspiration or template to create your own bits!

I hope you enjoyed this. Next week, I will discuss how you can use these techniques
to transition into sex talk.

Best,
Alek