A Christmas Chaos: by Michael Wehrli

A CHRISTMAS CHAOS
TEN MINUTE PLAY
By Michael Wehrli
Copyright © MMXI by Michael Wehrli
All Rights Reserved
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A Christmas Chaos by Michael Wehrli
A CHRISTMAS CHAOS – TEN MINUTE PLAY

By Michael Wehrli
A SATIRE OF CHARLES DICKENS’

A CHRISTMAS CAROL IN TEN MINUTES
Y
SYNOPSIS: An intrepid band of hearty actors bravely attempt to present A
Christmas Carol in ten minutes! Imagine Jacob Marley with a tiny chain,
OP
Belle played by a man and a Christmas Future that won’t stop talking! All
the actors play multiple roles including one who plays both Bob and Mrs.
Cratchit (at the same time)! Wild and hilarious, this play manages to satirize
the classic story and theatrical backstage mayhem at the same time.
TC
CAST OF CHARACTERS
(CAST OF SIX: TWO MEN, TWO WOMEN, TWO EITHER GENDER)
ACTOR 1, SCROOGE (M)........................ Considers himself a

professional actor. He is
appalled when others don’t take
the craft seriously. Strong
NO
willed.
ACTOR 2, FRED,
CHRISTMAS FUTURE (M/F) .................. Suffers from stage fright. Shy
and nervous.
ACTOR 3, BOB CRATCHIT, FAN, BELLE, BOB

DO
AND MRS., BUSINESSMAN 2 (M) .......... Strong actor that loves a

challenge. Able to ad-lib well
and roll with whatever is
presented to him. Has a
tendency to go overboard with
his characters.
-2-
THIS SCRIPT IS PROVIDED AS A COURTESY FOR INTERNET READING.
NO PERFORMANCE RIGHTS CONVEYED.
ACTOR 4, CHARITY PERSON,

CHRISTMAS PAST, CHRISTMAS PRESENT,
BUSINESSMAN 1 (F)................................. Comedic actress. Loves to ad-
lib or find humor in everything.
Frequently amuses herself.
Y
ACTOR 5, MARLEY, YOUNG SCROOGE,
TINY TIM, BOY (F)................................... Serious about her craft, but
tends to lose herself in the roles
OP
she plays.
ACTOR 6, STAGE MANAGER,

PETER (M/F) .............................................. Tough, no-nonsense type.
Doing their best to keep things
TC
on track.
PERFORMANCE HISTORY
Dates: December 7-22, 2001
Venue: The Corner Theatre (DeSoto, Texas)
Company: New Moon Productions
NO
ORIGINAL YOUTH CAST (TEN MINUTE VERSION)
CAST
Kellie Hobbs
Jon Mark Howeth
Cody Miller
Katie Sheppard
DO
-3-
SCENE
A theatre or auditorium. The stage starts off bare with only a few chairs.
TIME
The present.
Y
SET/TECHNICAL REQUIREMENTS
The play should look as if it was thrown together very hastily. Every
costume piece and prop should look as if the theatre company pulled from
OP
what they already had in stock or could quickly find. Lighting should be
simple and without any fancy cues.
PRODUCTION NOTES
The best way to bring out the full comedy of the play is for the actors to play
TC
it honestly. Each character, in their own way, should be trying to do their
best to make the show work – even though their choices vary from odd to
outright ridiculous. The stage directions written in to the script should be
followed closely, as the movement of the show is an integral part of the
overall comedic effects. Though the look of the show is chaotic, the actors
should be very carefully choreographed; especially for the scene changes.
The playwright encourages each production to use the actual names of the
NO
actors.
DO
-4-
SETTING:
A theatre or auditorium.
AT RISE:
The stage is bare except for a few chairs. All the actors are there and
they directly address the audience to begin the show.
Y
ACTOR 1: Ladies and gentlemen—
ACTOR 3: Boys and girls—
OP
ACTOR 4: Ummm…uncles and aunts…
ACTOR 6 nudges ACTOR 2.
ACTOR 2: (Very nervous.) Umm…uh...uh…

TC
ACTOR 6: Never mind.
ACTOR 5: My friends, tonight for your delight and amazement—
ACTOR 1: Pleasure and edification—
ACTOR 4: Edifi—who skin?
ACTORS 1 and 6 give ACTOR 4 a glare.

NO
ACTOR 2: Tonight, we are presenting A Christmas Carol by–

ACTOR 4: (Sings.) “I’m dreaming of a white Christmas. Just like the
one–”
ACTOR 6 clamps hand over their mouth.
ACTOR 1: He meant the Charles Dickens’ story.

DO
ACTOR 3: You know, Scrooge, Bob Cratchit and such.

ACTOR 4: Oh, we’re doing that too?
ACTOR 6: Hush. But we’re pressed for time, so we are presenting
this classic story—
ACTOR 5: —With all the characters you’ve come to know and love—
ACTOR 1: —Using only a few chairs, some borrowed costumes,
(Indicates the audience) and your imagination—
ACTOR 3: In only ten minutes.
-5-
ACTOR 2: (Still nervous.) So many people…

ACTOR 4: Please, sit back, relax, and enjoy our version of A
Christmas Carol.
ACTOR 4: (Sings.) “Where the tree tops glisten and—”
ACTOR 6 bumps ACTOR 4 and glares at her.
Y
ACTOR 1: By Charles Dickens.
ACTOR 6: Places everyone.
OP
EVERYONE scrambles around to set up the “Office.” The ACTORS
themselves should do all of the scene changes. ACTORS 1 and 3
change into their costumes. ACTORS 2 and 6 are talking to each
other upstage. ACTOR 6 is trying to help ACTOR 2 calm down. After
TC
the “Office” is set up, we hear:
ACTOR 2: ___________________________, (Name of actor

playing ACTOR 6.) I can’t do it! All those eyes, focused on me.
Looking and watching. Looking and watching! (ACTOR 6 starts
pushing ACTOR 2 off stage.) Looking and watching! Looking and
watching! (ACTOR 2 exits. By the time ACTOR 1 and 3 are at their
NO
desks, ACTOR 6 runs back on, gets composed, and starts to

narrate.)
ACTOR 6/NARRATOR: Marley was dead to—
ACTOR 2/FRED: (Walks back on, half in costume.) Looking and
watching! Looking and watch—
ACTOR 6 pushes ACTOR 2 off stage.

DO
ACTOR 6/NARRATOR: Ahem. Right. Marley was dead to begin

with. Dead as a doornail even. (Runs to exit.)
ACTOR 3/BOB CRATCHIT: (Indicating an unlit candle.) Can I, sir?
ACTOR 1/SCROOGE: No! Bah, humbug! (Pause. ACTOR 6
shoves on ACTOR 2 as Fred. Pause. ACTOR 2 looks terrified
towards the audience. ACTOR 1 is annoyed.)
-6-
ACTOR 3/BOB CRATCHIT: (Whispering, trying to stay in character.)

Come on______________________________, (Name of ACTOR
2.) you can do it.
ACTOR 6: (Prompting, with a script.) Merry Christmas, Uncle!
ACTOR 2/FRED: Mm…Mmerr…Mmm…
ACTOR 6: Don’t be nervous.
Y
ACTOR 3/BOB CRATCHIT: Yeah! Just imagine all those people in
the audience are in their underwear—
ACTOR 1/SCROOGE: Stop trying to help! Uh, bah humbug!
OP
ACTOR 6: (Prompting, with a script.) Merry Christmas, Uncle!
ACTOR 2/FRED: Underwear? Underwear! (Snaps out of their
nervousness.) That’s great. Hey, look at that guy in the third row?
And how about that girl in the— (ACTOR 6 bonks ACTOR 2 on
the head with the script then exits.) Ow! All right, all right… (Gets
TC
into character.) Merry Christmas, Uncle!
ACTOR 1/SCROOGE: Hmm? Oh! Uh. Bah, humbug!
ACTOR 2/FRED: Christmas a humbug, Uncle?
ACTOR 1/SCROOGE: You keep Christmas in your own way and let
me keep it in mine!
ACTOR 2/FRED: But you don’t keep it. Christmas time is a kind,
forgiving, charitable, pleasant time. Etcetera, etcetera, blah, blah,
NO
blah. Fred does a long speech. He’s all smiles and warmth. He
invites Scrooge to dinner… (ACTOR 6 pops in, scowls at ACTOR
2.) Um, Christmas has done me good and will do me good; and I
say God Bless it!
ACTOR 3/BOB CRATCHIT: God bless Christmas!
ACTOR 1/SCROOGE: Quiet! Bah, humbug!
ACTOR 2/FRED: Very well, Uncle. Toodiloo! (Exits.)
DO
ACTOR 4 enters as the Charity person. She quickly realizes she still
has a script in her hand and tries to hide it behind back.
ACTOR 4/CHARITY: (Poorly trying to do an accent.) It is more than

desirable that we should make some slight provision for the poor
and…poor and… (Sneaks a peek at the script.)
ACTOR 3/BOB CRATCHIT: Destitute.
-7-
ACTOR 1/SCROOGE: Hush! Bah, humbug!

ACTOR 4/CHARITY: …the poor and destitute, who suffer greatly at
the present time.
ACTOR 1/SCROOGE: Put me down for nothing.
ACTOR 4/CHARITY: You wish to remain anon…anony…anon…
(Keeps attempting to say “anonymous.”.)
Y
ACTOR 1/SCROOGE: (Eventually cuts her off.) I wish to be left
alone! Bah, humbug!
ACTOR 4/CHARITY: Hrumph! Good day, sir! (Exits.)
OP
ACTOR 1/SCROOGE: Bah, humbug! (Under his breath.) We’ve got
to find something else for me to say.
ACTOR 3/BOB CRATCHIT: (Bringing ACTOR 1 his hat.) Would it
be quite convenient, sir if I—
ACTOR 1/SCROOGE: No! Bah, humbug!—
TC
ACTOR 3/BOB CRATCHIT: (To audience.) It does get old, doesn’t
it?
ACTOR 1/SCROOGE: –Oh, I suppose you can have the entire day
tomorrow. But be here all the earlier the next morning.
ACTOR 3/BOB CRATCHIT: Thank you sir! And merry Christmas,
sir!
ACTOR 1/SCROOGE: Bah—
NO
ACTOR 1/SCROOGE and ACTOR 3/BOB CRATCHIT: HUMBUG!
MUSIC. EVERYONE scrambles around to arrange the chairs as a

bed and help ACTOR 1 change into a dressing gown and cap. Ad-
libbing. ACTOR 1 finally sits on the bed. EVERYONE makes bell
noises from off stage. Soon, ACTOR 5 as Marley enters. She wears a
white sheet with two eye holes and a bowler hat. She also carries a
DO
very small chain which she pretends is very heavy.
ACTOR 5/MARLEY: Scroooooge! Scrooooge! Scrooooge!!! (Tries

to get onto the bed and falls over. ACTOR 6 runs on to help her to
her feet. ACTOR 1 is disgusted.) Scrooooge!!!
ACTOR 1/SCROOGE: Oh, Jacob Marley. Why do you walk the earth
and why do you bother me.
-8-
ACTOR 5/MARLEY: Your welfare. Booooooooooooooooo!!!!!!

Ahhhhhhhhh!!!!!!
ACTOR 6 rushes on again and bonks her on the head with her script.
ACTOR 1/SCROOGE: Why do you wear that— (Tries to see the
Y
very small chain, finally does.) Good grief. Why do you wear that
chain?
ACTOR 5/MARLEY: I wear the chain I forged in life! Aaaaaahhhhh!
OP
(She drops it. During the below, she is trying to find it.) Uh-oh….
Uh, listen ____________________________. (Name of actor
playing ACTOR 1.).
ACTOR 1/SCROOGE: Ebenezer!
ACTOR 5/MARLEY: Ebenezer. (Still looking for the chain.) You
TC
shall be haunted by three spirits. Check your e-mail for the days
and times. (Laughs at her own joke. ACTOR 1 is not pleased.
ACTOR 5 goes back to looking.) Expect the first tomorrow when
the bell tolls one. (ACTOR 1 finally hands him the chain.) Oh,
thanks! (Starts backing off stage.) Booooooooo!!!
Rememmmmber! Remmmmember! Remmmmember! (When she
gets off stage we hear a huge crash and a yell. Then she calls
NO
from off stage.) I’m all right.

ACTOR 6: (Pokes head in, looking at watch.) We’re running a little
slow guys. We need to pick up the pace! (ACTOR 4 rushes on as
CHRISTMAS PAST and starts pacing.) What are you doing?!
ACTOR 4/PAST: I’m picking up the pace!
ACTOR 6: Get on with it!
DO
Exits.
ACTOR 4/PAST: Right!

ACTOR 1/SCROOGE: Who are you?
ACTOR 4/PAST: (Little girl ghost voice.) I am the Ghost of
Christmas Past. Looooooook!
-9-
We hear ACTORS 3 and 5 off stage. ACTOR 3 is Belle and is

unhappy about being in a girl’s costume. ACTOR 5 is Young
Scrooge. Scrooge.
ACTOR 3: (Off stage.) I am not doing this—

ACTOR 5: (Off stage.) Yes you are.
Y
ACTOR 3: (Off stage.) Please no!
ACTOR 5: (Off stage.) Do it! (They enter.)
ACTOR 3/BELLE: (Scowls. Starts off with his own voice, ACTOR 5
OP
gestures. Then does his Belle voice.) I release you from our
engagement Ebenezer. You may have pain in this (Stamps
ACTOR 5’S foot.) a very brief pain (Stamps other foot.) but you will
dismiss the recollection of it, as an unprofitable dream. (ACTOR 5
grabs 3.) May you be happy in the life you have chosen. (Runs
TC
off.)
ACTOR 5/YOUNG SCROOGE: (Very dramatic.) Beeeellllllllle! (Exits
limping.)
ACTOR 1/SCROOGE: No more! Show me no more. (Pause.)
ACTOR 4/PAST: All right. (Exits.)
ACTOR 1/SCROOGE: (Trying to cover.) I…really feel I’ve learned
something. Oh, bah, humbug!
NO
MUSIC. EVERYONE rushes on for the scene change. ACTOR 6 gets

a chair so ACTOR 4 can stand on it. ACTOR 4 gets on the chair then
drapes her cloak over it to make her look tall. ACTOR 4 holds a large
horn-of-plenty with a small flashlight in it. She shines it on ACTOR 1
who pretends it’s really bright.
DO
ACTOR 4/PRESENT: Neat effect, ain’t it?

ACTOR 1/SCROOGE: Oh brother.
ACTOR 4/PRESENT: Come in and know me better man!
ACTOR 1/SCROOGE: You must be the Ghost of Christmas Present.
ACTOR 4/PRESENT: Present and accounted for! (Laughs at her
own joke. ACTOR 6 rushes on and threatens with the prompt-
script. ACTOR 4 makes a face at ACTOR 6 then continues.)
Touch my robe. (ACTOR 1 does. ACTOR 3 comes on dressed as
- 10 -
both Bob and Mrs. Cratchit. The costume has a suit on one side
and a dress on the other. Soon, ACTOR 6 enters as Peter along
with ACTOR 5 as Tiny Tim.)
ACTOR 3/BOB AND MRS.: (As Mrs. Cratchit.) And how did little
Tim behave today in church? (As Bob Cratchit.) As good as gold,
and better.
Y
ACTOR 5/TINY TIM: (Hobbling over to her with a tiny crutch.) God
bless us every one! (During the below dialogue, ACTOR 3 tries to
pick up ACTOR 5, struggles, and can’t do it. Finally, he just pats 5
OP
on the head.)
ACTOR 1/SCROOGE: Tell me if Tiny Tim will live.
ACTOR 4/PRESENT: If these shadows remain unaltered by the
future, the child will die.
ACTOR 1/SCROOGE: What a pity.
TC
ACTOR 3/BOB AND MRS.: (As Bob.) Now a toast to Mr. Scrooge.
(Pantomimes raising a glass.) (As Mrs.) Ooohhh noooo! (As
Bob.) The Founder of the Feast. (As Mrs.) Founder of the feast
indeed! (As Bob.) My dear, the children, Christmas day. (As Mrs.)
He’s odious, stingy, hard, unfeeling— (As Bob.) My dear— (As
Mrs.) No Bob! (As Bob.) Yes dear! (As Mrs.) No dear! (As
Bob.) Yes! (As Mrs.) No! (As Bob.) Yes! (As Mrs.) No! (As
NO
Bob.) Yes! (As Mrs.) No!

ACTOR 6/PETER: Daddy, mommy! (Shakes ACTOR 3 vigorously.)
ACTOR 3/BOB and MRS.: Thanks, son! (They all pantomime
raising their glasses.) Long life to Mr. Scrooge. (They both laugh
largely as they exit.)
ACTOR 4/PRESENT: My life upon this globe is very brief. Hark the
time… (Slight pause.) Hark the time! (A bell chiming 12 is heard
DO
off stage.) The time is drawing near.
ACTOR 4 starts doing an elaborate death scene. When she’s on the

floor, ACTOR 6 comes out and drags him off-stage.
ACTOR 1/SCROOGE: Goodness gracious….
- 11 -
ACTOR 2 enters as Ghost of Christmas Future. S/he wears a black

sheet and cannot see where s/he is going. ACTOR 1 eventually stops
her/him right before s/he is about to step off the stage into the
audience.
ACTOR 2/FUTURE: What are you doing!?
Y
ACTOR 1/SCROOGE: You almost—Oh never mind. (As Scrooge.)
I am in the presence of the Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come.
ACTOR 2/FUTURE: (Ghostly.) Yeeeesssss!!!!
OP
ACTOR 6: (Pokes head out.) You’re not supposed to say anything!
ACTOR 2/FUTURE: Then how do I—
ACTOR 6: Just nod and point!
ACTOR 2/FUTURE: Right. Nod and point.
TC
ACTOR 2 awkwardly nods and points. ACTORS 3 and 4 come out as
two Businessmen. They wear very large fake beards.
ACTOR 4/BUSINESSMAN 1: When did Mr. Scroo – when did he

die?
ACTOR 3/BUSINESSMAN 2: Eben – he died last night, I believe.
ACTOR 4/BUSINESSMAN 1: I don’t mind going to the funeral of…
NO
Mr. X, if a lunch is provided.
Both laugh hugely as they exit.
ACTOR 1/SCROOGE: Spirit, I see. The case of this mysterious Mr.

X might be my own. But please, let me see some tenderness
connected with a death!
DO
ACTOR 2/FUTURE: All right.

ACTOR 6: ______________________! (Shouts ACTOR 2’s name.)
ACTOR 2/FUTURE: Just nod and point. (Nods and points.)
ACTOR 3 as Bob/Mrs. enters and stands with the Bob side facing the
audience. ACTOR 6 as Peter enters as well but quickly realizes s/he
has forgotten to put on her/his Peter costume, but now it’s too late.
- 12 -
ACTOR 6/PETER: It’s all right, Mother.
ACTOR 3 turns around to be Mrs.
ACTOR 3/BOB AND MRS.: Who the heck are you?!

ACTOR 6/PETER: Your son, Peter!
Y
ACTOR 3/BOB AND MRS.: Oh. Oh yeah. (Starts to cry loudly. As
Mrs.) I have known your father to walk with Tiny Tim upon his
shoulder very fast indeed.
OP
ACTOR 6/PETER: So have I, Mother. So have I. (ACTOR 3 starts
bawling again. ACTOR 6 shakes him.) Oh Mother, don’t let Father
see you—
ACTOR 3 calms down.

TC
ACTOR 3/BOB AND MRS.: (Runs out and re-enters as Bob.) Hello
my dears. (As Mrs., a little weepy.) Hello, Bob. (As Bob.) I wish
you could have gone with me to the graveyard. (As Mrs.) How
was it? (As Bob.) It’s ever so green. (As Mrs.) Oh my child, my
little child.
ACTOR 6/PETER: Here we go again…
NO
ACTOR 3/BOB AND MRS.: (As Bob. The below should be played
very honestly and sincerely.) My dears, I am sure that none of us
shall forget poor Tiny Tim, shall we?
ACTOR 6/PETER: Never, Father.
ACTOR 3/BOB AND MRS.: And when we recollect how patient and
mild he was, we shall not quarrel easily among ourselves, and
forget poor Tiny Tim in doing it.
DO
ACTOR 6/PETER: No, never, Father.
ACTOR 1 starts bawling. All are shocked for a moment, then ACTOR
2 and 3 go over to comfort him, ad-libbing. ACTOR 6 looks mortified.
ACTOR 1: (Eventually he composes himself.) That part gets me

every time. I’m all right now. Thank you.
ACTOR 3: No sweat, dude. You’re the best.
- 13 -
ACTOR 6 loudly clears their throat. ACTORS 1 and 3 stop and look at
the audience, then ACTORS 3 and 6 scramble off stage. ACTOR 2
moves to another part of the stage, running into things as ACTOR 1
tries to guide them. Eventually, ACTOR 6 brings out a gravestone
then exits. ACTOR 2 nods and points—but in the wrong direction.
Y
ACTOR 1 corrects him to point at the gravestone. ACTOR 1 goes to
over the gravestone and falls to his knees.
OP
ACTOR 1/SCROOGE: Spirit…Ow. (Reacting to falling on knees.)
Spirit, are these the shadows of the things that will be or are they
shadows of the things that may be, only? (ACTOR 2shrugs their
shoulders. . ACTOR 1 looks back at the gravestone and rubs it to
reveal the words Ebeneser Scrooge. It should be misspelled.)
TC
Ebenezer Scrooge! Ebenezer Scr— Wait a minute. It’s misspelled!
Good grief, will you look at this! _________________________,
(Name of ACTOR 6.) come here! We’re at the dramatic high point
of the story and you give me this!?
ACTOR 6: (Rushes on. Trying not to let the audience hear.) What’s
wrong?!
ACTOR 1: It’s E-B-E-N-E-Z-E-R, you dolt! Can’t you even—
NO
ACTOR 6: Just deal with it. We’re near the end!

ACTOR 1: Great. Just great. The things I have to put up with…
ACTOR 6: ___________________________ (Name of ACTOR 2.)
do the nod and point thing again! (Exits.)
ACTOR 2/FUTURE does a huge sweeping gesture that makes

him/her fall over. They scramble to get back up, then nods and points
DO
again. Once again they are pointing in the wrong direction. ACTOR 1
moves their arm in the correct direction.
ACTOR 1/SCROOGE: Give me strength. (He summons up all his

talents and delivers the below speech brilliantly.) Spirit, hear me.
I’m a changed man! I will honor Christmas in my heart and try to
keep it all the year. I will live in the Past, Present, and the Future,
- 14 -
and I will not shut out the lessons that they teach. Oh tell me I may
sponge away the writing on this stone!
ACTOR 1 grabs ACTOR 2’s sheet, it comes off in ACTOR 1’s hand.
ACTOR 2 looks mortified for a moment. Then EVERYONE comes on
and quickly restore ACTOR 1’S bed. All are complimenting ACTOR 1
Y
on the great speech he made and his acting skills. ACTOR 1 breaks
character here and there as he hears the compliments. When the bed
is set up, ACTOR 1 gets on his knees and holds onto the black
OP
material.
ACTOR 1/SCROOGE: I am here! The shadows of the things that

would have been may be dispelled. I am as happy as an angel!
(ACTOR 5 enters skipping on as the Boy.) Oh girl!
TC
ACTOR 5/BOY: Boy!
ACTOR 1/SCROOGE: Boy. What day is it?
ACTOR 5/BOY: Today? Why it’s Christmas day.
ACTOR 1/SCROOGE: Then I haven’t missed it. My boy, go and buy
that prize turkey—
ACTOR 5/BOY: (Overlapping.) —What, the one as big as me?—
ACTOR 1/SCROOGE: —And tell them to bring it here—
NO
ACTOR 5/BOY: (Overlapping, said to the audience.) —I had to slip

that in.—
ACTOR 1/SCROOGE: —That I may give them directions where to
take it. Come back with the man and in less than five minutes, and
I’ll give you half a crown.
ACTOR 5/BOY: Blimey! (Exits.)
ACTOR 1/SCROOGE: (Quickly dressing.) I’ll send it to Bob
DO
Cratchit’s. He shan’t know who sent it. It’s twice the size of Tiny
Tim.
ACTOR 1 walks to another part of the stage. ACTOR 2 as Fred is

pushed out and immediately becomes nervous again.
ACTOR 1/SCROOGE: Hello Fred. (Pause.) Hello Fred!!! (Slaps

ACTOR 2 on the back and 2 slightly snaps out of it.)
- 15 -
ACTOR 2/FRED: Why, bless my soul! (Gets nervous again.)

ACTOR 1/SCROOGE: Fred, all those things I said to you
yesterday…Well, that was all humbug.
ACTOR 2/FRED: Why, bless my soul!
ACTOR 1/SCROOGE: Right. I’d like to come to dinner, if you’ll still
have me, Fred?
Y
ACTOR 1/SCROOGE: Fred?!
OP
ACTOR 1/SCROOGE: Fred?!!! (Shakes ACTOR 2. ACTOR 2
slightly comes out of it.)
ACTOR 2/FRED: It’s a mercy I’m not fainting with delight! Come this
way! (They exit.)
TC
MUSIC. EVERYONE comes out to set up the desks for the office.
When they are done, ACTOR 6 does the narration. ACTOR 1
pretends to do paperwork.
ACTOR 6/NARRATOR: That evening’s party was full of wonderful

happiness. The next day Scrooge arose early to be at the office
first, to catch Bob Cratchit coming in late.
NO
ACTOR 3 as Bob and Mrs. comes rushing on with the Mrs. side
showing. ACTOR 6 pokes her head out.
ACTOR 6: ____________________ . (Whispers ACTOR 3’s name.)
ACTOR 6 gestures for ACTOR 3 to turn around but he doesn’t see

DO
ACTOR 6.
ACTOR 1/SCROOGE: Cratchit, what do you— (Looks up and sees

ACTOR 3’s costume. Stops.)
ACTOR 3/BOB AND MRS.: (Whispers.) What? (ACTOR 1
indicates for ACTOR 3 to turn around. ACTOR 3 is still clueless.
ACTOR 6 rushes on, turns ACTOR 3 around so that the Bob side
is seen. ACTOR 1 starts again.)
- 16 -
ACTOR 1/SCROOGE: MISTER Cratchit, what do you mean by

coming here at this time of day?
ACTOR 3/BOB AND MRS.: It’s only once a year sir. It shall not be
repeated. I was making rather merry yesterday, sir. (Hiccoughs.)
ACTOR 1/SCROOGE: Indeed! My friend, I am not going to stand this
sort of thing any longer. And therefore… therefore… I am about to
Y
raise your salary!
ACTOR 3/BOB AND MRS.: Mr. Scrooge, are you quite yourself, sir?
ACTOR 1/SCROOGE: No, thank heaven I am not. Merry Christmas,
OP
Bob! (Hugs him during below so tightly that ACTOR 3 is having
trouble breathing.) I’ll raise your salary and endeavor to assist
your struggling family, and get you the best doctors to help your
Tiny Tim. (Releases ACTOR 3.)
ACTOR 3/BOB AND MRS.: (Gasping for air.) Thank you ever so
TC
much sir!
Uses an inhaler. They both freeze. EVERYONE comes out onto the
stage.
ACTOR 4: Scrooge was better than his word. He did it all, and
infinitely more.
NO
ACTOR 5: To Tiny Tim, who did not die, he was a second father.
ACTOR 3: He became as good a man as the good old city knew.
ACTOR 2: And it was always said of him that he knew how to keep
Christmas well.
ACTOR 6: May that be truly said of us and all of us.
ACTOR 1: And so as Tiny Tim observed—
ALL: God bless us, every one! (ALL bow.)
DO
THE END
- 17 -

A Christmas Chaos: by Michael Wehrli

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A Christmas Chaos: by Michael Wehrli

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A CHRISTMAS CHAOS

TEN MINUTE PLAY

The writing of plays is a means of livelihood. Unlawful use of a playwright’s

The right of performance is not transferable and is strictly forbidden in cases

COPYING OR REPRODUCING ALL OR ANY PART OF THIS BOOK IN

A CHRISTMAS CHAOS – TEN MINUTE PLAY

A SATIRE OF CHARLES DICKENS’

ACTOR 1, SCROOGE (M)........................ Considers himself a

ACTOR 3, BOB CRATCHIT, FAN, BELLE, BOB

AND MRS., BUSINESSMAN 2 (M) .......... Strong actor that loves a

ACTOR 4, CHARITY PERSON,

ACTOR 6, STAGE MANAGER,

ORIGINAL YOUTH CAST (TEN MINUTE VERSION)

ACTOR 6 nudges ACTOR 2.

ACTOR 2: (Very nervous.) Umm…uh...uh…

ACTORS 1 and 6 give ACTOR 4 a glare.

ACTOR 2: Tonight, we are presenting A Christmas Carol by–

ACTOR 6 clamps hand over their mouth.

ACTOR 1: He meant the Charles Dickens’ story.

ACTOR 3: You know, Scrooge, Bob Cratchit and such.

ACTOR 2: (Still nervous.) So many people…

ACTOR 6 bumps ACTOR 4 and glares at her.

ACTOR 2: ___________________________, (Name of actor

desks, ACTOR 6 runs back on, gets composed, and starts to

ACTOR 6 pushes ACTOR 2 off stage.

ACTOR 6/NARRATOR: Ahem. Right. Marley was dead to begin

ACTOR 3/BOB CRATCHIT: (Whispering, trying to stay in character.)

ACTOR 4/CHARITY: (Poorly trying to do an accent.) It is more than

ACTOR 1/SCROOGE: Hush! Bah, humbug!

ACTOR 1/SCROOGE and ACTOR 3/BOB CRATCHIT: HUMBUG!

MUSIC. EVERYONE scrambles around to arrange the chairs as a

very small chain which she pretends is very heavy.

ACTOR 5/MARLEY: Scroooooge! Scrooooge! Scrooooge!!! (Tries

ACTOR 5/MARLEY: Your welfare. Booooooooooooooooo!!!!!!

ACTOR 1/SCROOGE: Why do you wear that— (Tries to see the

from off stage.) I’m all right.

ACTOR 4/PAST: Right!

We hear ACTORS 3 and 5 off stage. ACTOR 3 is Belle and is

ACTOR 3: (Off stage.) I am not doing this—

MUSIC. EVERYONE rushes on for the scene change. ACTOR 6 gets

ACTOR 4/PRESENT: Neat effect, ain’t it?

Bob.) Yes! (As Mrs.) No!

off stage.) The time is drawing near.

ACTOR 4 starts doing an elaborate death scene. When she’s on the

ACTOR 1/SCROOGE: Goodness gracious….

ACTOR 2 enters as Ghost of Christmas Future. S/he wears a black

ACTOR 2/FUTURE: What are you doing!?

ACTOR 4/BUSINESSMAN 1: When did Mr. Scroo – when did he

Mr. X, if a lunch is provided.

Both laugh hugely as they exit.

ACTOR 1/SCROOGE: Spirit, I see. The case of this mysterious Mr.

ACTOR 2/FUTURE: All right.

ACTOR 6/PETER: It’s all right, Mother.

ACTOR 3 turns around to be Mrs.

ACTOR 3/BOB AND MRS.: Who the heck are you?!

ACTOR 3 calms down.

ACTOR 6/PETER: No, never, Father.

ACTOR 1: (Eventually he composes himself.) That part gets me

ACTOR 6: Just deal with it. We’re near the end!