Psychology of challenges

Majority of us are inclined to play safe and remain in our comfort zones
— the basic principle of survival. We are more fearful than courageous.
However, each one of us is a unique wonder and capable of greatness.
This is where challenges come into play. They are crucial if we want to
unleash our greatness.

In comparison, let’s look at our body: it is built to adapt and respond to

the demands placed upon it. The stronger the demand, the stronger the
response. Physical muscles continue to grow and strengthen through
the Principle of Progressive Resistance.

Challenge me and see me thrive!

This principle is based on the theory that our muscles must be

challenged to get stronger and grow, and that they will progressively
work to overcome a resistance force when required to do so. The
opposite is also true, as physical muscles will downgrade and weaken
with the absence of a challenge.

The progressive resistance principle operates the same way in all areas
of our lives, and this is why we need to be challenged. We need
intellectual, leadership, spiritual, relational, and any performance
challenge that stretches us, forces us to overcome adversity, tests our
limits, character, and commitment, and inspires us to say bye-bye to our
comfort zone. Our finest self won’t materialize without challenge,
without us being pushed to our limits, tormented, and put through
personal hell. And, much more important than the nature of the
challenge itself, are the traits and skills we develop when rising to it.

The mental re+wards of rising to the challenge

 Challenge develops mental toughness
Victory begins in our mind. Through the nature of the challenge, we
gain a psychological edge that enables us to remain focused and
confident during high-pressure situations and to perform to our full
potential.

 Challenge engages the fight-or-flight response

The first obstacle in rising to meet a challenge is to conquer fear and
the mental resistance it brings along with it.

 Challenge inspires courage

Conceptually, we either practice courage or cowardliness. When
courage is tested, it manifests itself in the form of character,
initiative, self-control, and responsible behavior. When cowardice is
tested, it presents itself in bad character, procrastination, excuses,
and blame.

 Challenge tests our limits

When we rise to meet the challenge, we are never the same again: we
emerge stronger or weaker, better or bitter and unless we test
ourselves, we’ll never know our full potential.

 Challenge focuses our attention

It calls for our passion and devotion and means concentrating our
energy to meet the goal.

 Challenge builds self-confidence

 Rising to a challenge changes everything: it transforms our

mind and widens our perspective. A challenge involves psychological
 trauma that brings fear, self-doubt, and insecurity; ultimately
leading to superior performance, proving ourselves we can do
anything we set our minds to.

 Challenge empowers freedom

It requires blood, sweat, and tears. But freedom is the ultimate
reward for rising to meet the rigorous demands of a challenge.

Workplace non-monetary rewards to boost motivation and

productivity
 Recognition and praise: as an individual, from peers and from
Managers (including public praise, hand-written notes, employee of
the month recognition and similar)

 Opportunities for growth (including leading roles, e.g. leading their

own project etc., training people so they can grow after adopting new
skills etc.)

 Happy and fun workplace

 Belongingness and friendship with colleagues (minimising

conflicts and working with people we like)

 Autonomy

 Free passes in form of free time to spend the way they want (and
not from their annual leave)

 Private health (+ dentist and ophthalmologist) benefits

 Opportunities to contribute to key decisions company-wide

 Opportunities to volunteer

 a visible leaderboard that builds employee’s profile and reputation

  Progress status

 Rewards based on accumulated points (like air miles) which can

be turned into different vouchers or paid activities (even though they
can buy the vouchers with money earned, the thrill is in
accumulating points and contains progress, growth and recognition).

Why women choose someone bad

1. You can never really have him.

Even if you reach a point where you officially call each other
‘boyfriend’ and ‘girlfriend,’ there is a part of you which is always
on edge, unsure of what is going to happen next. The rug can be
pulled out at any moment, and there is something about the
unknown that can be so intoxicated. When you are always waiting,
always anticipating, the moment when affection or attention or
confirmation actually arrives is like a huge dose of some incredible
drug. We always want what we can’t have, after all.

2. Everything is a surprise.
If you go several days without hearing from him, let’s say, when he
actually calls — even if you’re so incredibly mad at him you can
barely form words — you are going to pick up that phone with
excitement and nervousness. You are going to forgive him right
away, because just hearing his voice again is the only thing you
were looking for. It’s unexpected, and therefore interesting. His
love remains a surprise because you can’t be sure of when or where
it’s going to come.
3. He doesn’t care if you need him.
One of the least sexy things in a guy is the feeling of neediness and
obsession — the kind of stuff that makes women “friend zone”
someone, when she’s really just exercising her disinterest — and
therefore there is something incredibly sexy about a guy who has
nothing to lose with you. There is a definite power structure in
these relationships, because you rely on his affection while he
could definitely be fine without you. It makes you want to hold on
even tighter, and be glad for what you have, because on some level
you feel like he is doing you a favor by choosing to be with you.

4. He is sure of himself.
Confidence is amazing. It’s like some kind of natural perfume that
just radiates off of people and draws others in, and when there is a
guy who is a fully independent, sure-of-himself prick, there are few
things that draw more positive attention to him. When someone is
perfectly assured in every aspect of themselves, you react in a very
primal way. You know that there is so much to learn from that
kind of attitude, and you can’t help but want to be around it.

5. The “chase” period never ends.

So much of what is sexy about relationships is the period of the
chase, where you are going after them and pursuing their interest
and always unsure of whether or not they’re going to feel the same
way about you. It’s what makes the buildup to the first kiss, or the
first night together, so intense. It’s all about tying them down and
making them your own, and being overcome with frustrated
passion when you’re not able to. With someone who is constantly
evasive and denying, this chase period never ends.
6. Other women want him, too.
You can see the look in their eyes when he talks to them with easy,
detached confidence. You can see the pull he has. And the desire of
others only makes you want him more to yourself.

7. You are convinced that you can fix him.

When it comes down to it, there is always a part of you that wants
to believe that you can fix him. You love him so much, and do so
much to care for him, that you imagine a part of his heart is being
chipped away and eventually he will learn to reciprocate your
affection the way you want him to. His walls will come down, his
emotions will come out, and he will start answering your calls on a
regular basis. Maybe it’s maternal instinct, maybe it’s just pure
stupidity — either way, a huge part of your love is about fixing
him.

_____________________________________________________
The same reason why we eat sugary foods that make us fat and sick. Because they make us
feel really really good for short periods of time..

Women don’t consciously choose men who treat them badly.. The guy gives them a high by
keeping them on their toes, sometimes treating them really badly, but then showering them
with love and affection.. it’s similar to a high..

She thinks that if she gives him enough love, the highs will become the norm.. all the time..
(obviously this doesn’t happen.. but she keeps trying..)

The lower the lows.. the higher the highs..

No woman goes for a man who treats her like shit at the get go..

A smart woman observes how a man treats other, less attractive women (or just women
he doesn’t want to sleep with..).. She forms an educated opinion of his overall character
by how he is with other people. She knows that if he treats other people with
disrespect, she will soon be next..
A not so smart woman will fall for whatever a man promises at the beginning.. an insecure
woman will fall head over heels for empty compliments.. a smart woman will wonder why so
much so soon… just what is this dude selling?

An insecure woman who falls for men who treat her like crap will actually dismiss good men
who are taking their time getting to know her as uninterested..

She is used to the instant relationship.. thinking this is what “chemistry” is..

She may be subconsciously drawn to drama and the excitement of this kind of a
relationship..*

attention

1) She enjoys the compliments but vanishes quickly

Here’s the deal – if you shower this girl with compliments and hope that she
will say yes to the date, but she simply enjoys it, smiles, wants some more,
and vanishes at the mention of something more serious, it is a clear sign
that she only wants your attention.

She probably doesn’t plan to do anything more than listen to every

compliment you give her and enjoy herself.

Every woman loves compliments, but if, after all your flattery, she does not
reciprocate at least a little bit, then this is a clear sign that she’s using you.

2) She does not make any effort for you

If she doesn’t make any effort to look good for you or even plan anything
out with you, then she’s not really into you and doesn’t see you as boyfriend
material.

If a girl wants a boyfriend, she will make an effort because she knows that if
he sees her in an ugly outfit or if they had a boring date, he might not be
interested anymore.

However, if she’s just out for some attention without any intentions of
committing herself to anything serious, then such efforts are not necessary.
3) Want advice specific to your situation?
While the signs in this article will help you work out whether she’s into you
or just wants attention, it can be helpful to speak to a relationship coach
about your situation.

With a professional relationship coach, you can get advice tailored to the
specific issues you’re facing in your love life.

Relationship Hero  is a site where highly trained relationship coaches help

people navigate complex and difficult love situations, like where you stand
with a woman. They’re popular because they genuinely help people solve
problems.
Why do I recommend them?

Well, after going through difficulties in my own love life, I reached out to
them a few months ago. After feeling helpless for so long, they gave me a
unique insight into the dynamics of my relationship, including practical
advice on how to overcome the issues I was facing.

I was blown away by how genuine, understanding and professional they

were.

In just a few minutes you can connect with a certified relationship coach and
get tailor-made advice specific to your situation.

Click here to get started  .

4) She puts you in the friend zone

A friend zone is an awkward place where you want to date her, but she
doesn’t see you as anything more than a platonic friend.

She doesn’t see you as boyfriend material, so she will treat you like a close
buddy with whom she can do something with, maybe even sleep with
sometimes, but that’s it.

If she wants to keep the friendship only, then don’t force your way into her
romantic life.

If a girl puts you in the friend zone, then at least make sure she doesn’t
come into your life whenever she pleases.

That’s not cool and can cause a lot of drama and unwanted attention.
5) She wants attention but puts off the idea of
commitment
If this girl only wants some attention while putting off the idea of
commitment, then the chances are that she won’t be interested in you even
if she says yes to meeting you.

If she wants to go out on a date only and then says she has a boyfriend,
then again, don’t get attracted to her.

If this girl wants you only for attention, and that is it, then you should be
looking elsewhere.

6) She’s flirty at first but doesn’t let anywhere close to

her

Sometimes girls will act coy and flirtatious when they meet new guys.

There is a big difference between the flirty and the legitimate sign of interest
in someone.

If you were to look at the two side by side, you would see that one is more
fake than the other.

Is she is flirty just for the sake of it, it is time for you to move on.
7) She only reacts to your confidence
The simple truth is that women love seeing confident men, and it often feels
like a magnet pulling them. I learned this from relationship expert Kate
Spring.

As she taught me, confidence sparks something deep inside women that
sets off instant attraction.

If you want to boost your confidence around women, check out Kate’s

excellent free video here  .
Watching Kate’s videos has been a game-changer for me. Because I know
exactly how it feels to not get dates… to be searching for “the one”… to be
stuck in a relationship that just isn’t working.

However, with Kate’s help, I’ve been with the sort of high-quality women I
never thought possible. The confidence she has given me has helped me
succeed in other areas of life too.

Here’s a link to Kate’s free video again  .

8) She is not comfortable with small talk

How many girls do you know who will simply reply to your text messages
and never say a word but will use emoticons instead?

The truth is that women love small talk, but if they are not comfortable with
it, then they’re not invested in the conversation.

If she never follows up on what you’re saying, it means that she is not
comfortable with the conversation itself.

She is probably indecisive if she wants to continue the conversation or she

wants to end it.

Either way, keep in mind that if you don’t feel comfortable and she is taking
too much of your time without any result you are hoping for, you can always
move on.

Girls who are afraid to express their feelings in fear that you will run off can
be very difficult to get close to.

If they are not confident enough in themselves, chances are you will not feel
comfortable getting too close and risk making a fool of yourself.
9) She disappears when you want to ask her out
If you want to ask a girl out and then she doesn’t reply, this is a clear sign of
disinterest.

If the girl doesn’t even care enough to say no, then at least protect yourself
before putting yourself through all that trouble.

In other words – she is just leading you on.

Perhaps she has someone she likes and wants him to be jealous of you.

However, this is not something that you should accept as normal behavior.

She is probably just searching for a way to avoid facing her own insecurities
and wants to use you to overcome them.

10) She doesn’t reply to you

If she is not responding to your texts, it means that she is not interested in
meeting up with you, and she has no intention of pursuing any kind of
relationship with you whatsoever.

When you notice that this kind of behavior persists, then it’s better to just
move on and find someone who will at least be interested in talking to you.

If this kind of behavior repeats with every woman you like, it is time to take a
peek into your subconscious and do everything you can to remove the
behavior patterns that always lead to the same result.

The truth is, most of us never realize how much power and potential lies
within us.

We become bogged down by continuous conditioning from society, the

media, our education system, and more.

The result? The reality we create becomes detached from the reality that
lives within our consciousness.

I learned this (and much more) from the world-renowned shaman Rudá
Iandé. In this excellent free video  , Rudá explains how you can lift the
mental chains and get back to the core of your being.
A word of caution – Rudá isn’t your typical shaman.
He doesn’t paint a pretty picture or sprout toxic positivity like so many other
gurus do.

Instead, he’s going to force you to look inwards and confront the demons
within. It’s a powerful approach, but one that works.

So if you’re ready to take this first step and align your dreams with your
reality, there’s no better place to start than with Rudá’s unique technique

Here’s a link to the free video again  .

11) She’s not genuinely interested in what you have to

say
This is a big one. If she doesn’t show genuine interest, then it’s best to
move on and find someone who is actually looking for a relationship.

If she won’t speak to you, reply to your text, or even talk to you at all, then
there is a reason behind it.

Maybe the reason is that she’s not interested in speaking with you and
doesn’t have anything nice to say about you.

On the other hand, the reason why she might keep coming back and
engaging in the conversation could be that she just learned this kind of
behavior, and it helps her get through her days easier.

Perhaps she only needs to hear you say all these nice things to her so she
can feel better about herself.

Maybe she has a friend who is always saying things like this, and she has
taken on this behavior as well.

If she is not genuinely interested in you or what you have to say, then it’s
best to move on and find someone else.

We’re all human, and we have feelings, right?

But sometimes, our programming kicks in, and we end up repeating the
same mistakes over and over without understanding the root cause of these
problems.
12) She acts distant and reserved when you meet her

Whenever you text each other, she keeps sending you new messages, she
flirts with you, and you feel like there is strong chemistry between you two,
but she keeps on backing off when you try to get close to her – so, what’s
the catch?

Well, she probably doesn’t know what she feels, and she is probably doing
the same thing with other guys as well.

She probably has some underlying issues with self-confidence that she is
trying to resolve this way.

However, it is not up to you to resolve her issues. That is something she

has to do on their own.

At this point, it is best to move on and find someone who is genuinely

interested in talking to you.

Although some girls might put up a wall because they are nervous or shy, if
she doesn’t stop putting up a wall, then it might be time for you to move on.
13) She does not make plans with you
When there is genuine chemistry and the desire to start a relationship, a girl
will make it clear that she wants to spend more time with you.

If she just keeps on blowing you off and making excuses why she cannot
make plans with you, then there is a reason behind it – she is not genuinely
interested in talking to you in person.

She’s just hoping that the more time goes by, the more comfortable she will
feel about meeting up with you.

But if this type of behavior repeats itself, it might be time to move on and
find someone who actually wants to meet up with you and really wants to
date you.

Wasting time and becoming emotionally invested in the potential

relationship with a girl who is not giving anything back simply isn’t
something that you should tolerate.

14) She keeps making up excuses to put off the date

If you are asking her out and she keeps coming up with whatever reason
she can think of to put off the date, then you should definitely not proceed
with this girl.

The last thing you want to do is waste your time trying to convince a girl
who doesn’t even want to talk to you in the first place.

Make no mistake about it, if she avoids you and doesn’t even want to
consider going on a date with you, you can be sure that you are just wasting
time, and you should stop it as soon as you notice it.

If she just keeps on ignoring you, then it’s best to stop trying to call her and
forget about her completely.

I know this may not be what you want, but trust me – she will respect you
more when you show her that you don’t want to be her toy.
15) She talks to you more on social media than face to
face
Social media has become a very important indicator of popularity lately, and
it seems like people are ready to do just about anything to get more likes
and comments on their profiles.

If she talks to you more on social media than she does in person, she
probably does it to show the world that she is popular, but trust me – she
sees you as an opportunity to gain attention and likes.

In essence, she wants to attract views just to feed her ego and make herself
feel good about herself.

If she can get all her friends and followers to talk about her, she doesn’t
have to say anything.

That is, if you are reading this article, then you know all about
this manipulative behavior by now.

Sometimes a girl will come on strong and treat you like a king, only to leave
you standing there with your mouth hanging open.

This is a very common behavior nowadays because girls prey on guys who
are ready to commit themselves to them.

Sometimes they will start talking to you and change their minds once they
see that you are not giving in to their traps.

Final thoughts
The truth is that most women are very difficult to get to know.

But if you really put some effort into developing and using these strategies,
then you will be able to find someone who is genuinely interested in talking
to you.

How do I know? Because I applied these strategies and I was able to find a
girl who was actually looking for a relationship.

When you notice that the girl is just using you, the best thing you can do is
to pull away a bit yourself.
It’s a psychological fact that when we fear we’re going to lose something,
we want it 10x more.

This is where “nice guys” get it so wrong. Women have no “fear of loss” with
a nice guy… and that makes them pretty unattractive.

If you want your girl to become obsessed with you, then check out this
excellent free video  .
What you’ll learn in this video isn’t exactly pretty — but neither is love.

Attention-seeking behavior may stem from jealousy, low self-esteem, loneliness, or

as a result of a personality disorder. If you notice this behavior in you or someone
else, a mental health professional can provide diagnosis and treatment options. Bailey
JA. (2003).

What are people who crave attention?

Histrionic personality disorder (HPD) is a mental health condition marked by

unstable emotions, a distorted self-image and an overwhelming desire to be noticed.
People with HPD often behave dramatically or inappropriately to get attention

Is it normal to want attention?

For teens – and even for some adults – attention-seeking is an absolutely normal
behavior. It fits closely with our desire to be loved and accepted. And to be loved and
accepted, you first have to be noticed! What is not “normal,” however, is using high-risk
or unacceptable behaviors to attract notice.