-ry

Script E: '
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Q3. Explain how the writer presents his impressions of New York'
You should support your answer with close reference to the
passage, including brief quotations. (10)

The writer presents his impressions about New York in a number of

different ways.

To begin with, he shows how excited he is to see new things and

experiences by using a lot of descriptive language to convey the
'spectacular'views and the 'most famous buildings of central New York''
Hie presents New York as something that is both familiar and exciting by
describing it as'being on a film set'. This makes the reader feel that the
city is something different but also that it is very familiar with
recognisable features of New York such as the'yellow fire hydrants' and
the road crossing signs which show the 'walk/don't walk' lights.

The writer also uses strong adjectives, such as 'amazing' and 'fascinating',
to show his wonder at the city and he is overwhelmed by all the sights
and the sounds, for he describes it as if 'somebody turned the volume Ltp'.
By using these words, we can see how his impression of New York is
positive and sornewhere everyone should go. He emphasises this idea
further at the end with a summary of his positive impression of the city by
saying how it'exceeded mY expectations' and that it should be on
'everyone s lisl af Places to visit'.

However, the writer gives the reader a mixed impression of New York as,
at the beginning of the article, he describes the journey and the airport in
quite a negative way. He uses humour when describing the immigration
process as he has to wait in a long queue for a long time but jokes that
they were entertained by a video about New York'on a continuous loop''
His first impression of the city at the airport, with the familiar shops and
restaurants, is that he'could be practically anywhere in the world'. He
then cleverly uses ettipsis at the end of the short sentence'I had
arrived...'to show how his impressions change from New York being like
any other place to an amazing city once he sees the Manhattan skyline.

This sense af location is also underlined by the writer by the way he uses
proper noLtnS to descrlbe the most well-known iandmarks such as
'Nlanhattan'anG the'Fnpire State Butlding'. Thts helps to bttild the
r,,-npre-<-sio n ci i,i;:,,y Yart: as w€' krtavt that these bt;!ciings 3re in this
-rC ;i
,J;i,ai, l3r i,i['v a:;ti tt' €- ,','rit€r,ia irs tr-s io €aji, i f he sigttts Dv /cfi,
a\ i{:rien{e f -a,r'i. ,^,ittft iiitl-t, rf 'S tini,V v,ihen YAJ get i-j p fiigtl tr-; 4[ y'3g f ..rt',
aC i ra l ,,tl::.
,-. .-., ,.1 :,1 i1 -i,'a)\.t;ti)a it€: ,,^i YCt-k afCkil:e:CtiLr€ r€:.Jjii',,' jt.'

1l
 ,I
Examiner comment:
The candidate shows a confident understanding of how the writer
presents his impressions of New York and how the language and structure
create effects. He analyses the changes from his thoughts whilst having
to queue to the way he recognises landmarks and the breath-taking
skylines. References from the text fully support the points and are well-
integrated into the sentences.
9 marks
 re
Script E:

Q6. How does the writer describe his thoughts and feelings about
his trip to Dover?
You should support your answer with close reference to the
passage, including
brief quotations. ( 10)

The extract is written in the first person, which hetps us follow the writer's
thoughts very closely as he uses the personal pronoun 'I' throughout.
The structure of the extract also cleverly shows his train of thought about
the day. It starts off positively with him having breakfast early and
leaving the hotel to begin'another promising day'. Even from the next
line, we see how this might not happen, which gives the reader a sense of
foreboding, as the map of Calais is described as'inadequate' and this
means that the walk to the ferry was longer than he thought. This causes
him to be late for the ferry so in the space of the first paragraph, we go
from him being positive to a lot less positive. The rest of the article
carries on in this less positive way and even though the writer is'eager to
see Dover again', he is left disappointed. The article ends as it began, on
a positive note with the writer'cheered' and buying a ticket to London
ready to start another new journey.

A mixture of humour and descriptive language is used to bring the scene

on the ferry ta life, The writer is already upset by his walk to the ferry
and he then lsui{Cs on this by using words.such as'mayhem'to describe
the duty {ree shop on the ship. He also sees the humour in the situation
by usinq a metaphor to describe the people on the deck as having'blue
lips and dancing hair'as they pretend not to be cotd; the idea of the hair
dancing seems to give the hair a life of its own.

Adjectives are a key part of the wrtter's description, and the extract
chooses contrasting adjectives to describe the changes in his mood such
as'a small cry of pleasure'and'unhappy'. He also uses verbs to create
similar mood swings. This is shown where, because he is 'eager'to see
Dover again, he talks about how he'strode into the centre'of town which
shows how positive and excited he is. The verb shows that he walks
briskly and with a strong sense of purpose. However, by the end, he
'plodded distractedly through the streets', with the verb emphasising how
he has become tired and downhearted and taiks about how'unhappy'he
is fo see how uniarniliar everythtng has become. This use of contrasttng
words to describe the way he v,ralks and how this mafches his thoughts,
enables us to follov,r the changes in his feelrnQS. Bry5s,t /s,/€,-y skitful at
letting us feel hls dtsapDaintn:ent at hovt much the piace nas chanqed.
This creates a pov,,;e rfulsen,<e cf anti-cltrnax.

)\
 Irl
Examiner comment:
in thrs response, the candidate concentrates on the contrasts between the
writer's optimism and the feelings of disappointment which often take
over. The use of humour is also included, with apt examples from the
passage, accompanied by perceptive comments. Analysis of language and
structure is discriminating.

9 marks

lto
- re-
R
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'q-
\

Script E:

Q7 il*mpare h*rrv th*: wl-iiers *f T*:>.i Cr:e and Text Tv;o conv*v
ti-rtir ideas and expe:-i*nce:.
Si:***rt ysl"lr a{-isrJe.'iruith ex=r:lpltls fr*n: b<:th texts.
( 1s)

The trriters of the two texts convey thelr ideas and experiences about
travel in similar and different ways.

There is a basic similarity in the fact that both of the articles are written
in the first person. This means that they both have a verY personal feel
to them and, as readers, we feel more involved,

However, the writers convey their ideas slightly differently. The ideas in
Text 7 are largely positive, as the writer in many ways enioys his
experiences of New York. Although he is annoyed and frustrated by the
immigration process, he then talks enthusiastically about the city, using
adjectives such as'fascinating' and 'amazing' to describe his trip. He
en]oys the sights he sees and describes fhern as 'spectacular', with the
'wow' ntoment when he saw the Manhaf'ffin skyline. The writer of text 2
is /ess enthusiastic. Although he start off positively as he describes the
'promising'startto the day, he soon becomes upset by his long walk to
the ferry, the ferry crossing and his travels. He uses negative language
about Dover and describes it as 'unrecognisable' with 'derelict factories'.

Both writers describe their journeys and arrival in a different country - an

Englishman in America and an American in England. On arrival, the
writer of text one is initially rather disappointed as he describes seeing
Starbucks and McDonalds and how it'could be practically anywhere in the
world' but his disappointment is then lifted by the wonderful views.
Generatly therefore there is a contrast in that he goes from negative first
impressions to a more positive picture, whereas the opposite is true for
Bryson. In text 2, the writer is in the end disappointed in his experiences
of Dover, since he finds that it is'indistinguishable'from any other English
town with a'Boots and WH Smith'. Also, like the writer of text 1, Bill
Bryson soon finds some sights that are familiar and become a'point of
reference'.

Similarly, the two writers end their pieces in what appears to be the same
way; however, the importance of the two endings is very different, as the
writers reflect on the experiences they have had. Both end with the writer
leaving the place they have visited. The writer of text 1 is'already
thinking about coming back'as he takes off to go home, whereas the
writer of text 2 is glad to be leaving. In the last lines, he leaves the hotel
he used to stay in and'bought a ticket for the next train'without going in.
He ts very pleased to leave and certainly does not seem to be planning to
come back!
 (-)
E

The writers structure their works very differently. Text 1 is easier to read
and pinpoint the main points as the writer uses clear headings and directs
the reader to particular areas of his experiences such as'the skyscrapers'
and 'the scale of the place'. It is more informative and seems to have
been written for a magazine to encourage visitors to come to New York.
Text 2 is more narrative and is a much more personal view of Dover. It
does not seem to be aimed at readers who might be thinking of visiting
Dover.

Both writers are quite informal when describing the places they have
visited. In text 7, the writer uses coltoquial language such aS'wow'and
tatks about how the experience was'mind-blowing'. By using this casual
language and hyperbole, the reader is making his article verY accessible
and readers can relate to his experiences. Similarly, the writer of text 2
uses a humorous tone to hide his disappointment. After his awful
journey, he describes himself as'like someone who'd just survived a
mining disaster', This use of simile allows the reader to really visualise
the writer's experience and the exaggeration and humour allows us to see
that it possibly wasn't as bad as the writer is making out.

Examiner comment:
The candidate has responded very thoughtfully making a wide range of
comparisons in this analysis. The references are finely balanced across
the two texts and structure ls looked at closely. The tone and langLiage
are also considered successfully and the judgements are discriminating.
14 marks

34
-7
2_LI
Script J:
Q8 A friend of yours is going abroad for the first time.
Write a letter to your friend explaining what it might be like.
You should include:
r what might be seen or experienced
o what might be enjoyable
r what might be disappointing.
Think carefully about the purpose of your letter and the audience
for whom it is intended.
( 30)

Dear Lisa

I was so excited to hear that you are FINALLY going to go to America and
visit your brother. You will have such an amazing time - I am really
jealous!

Iknow you haven't been abroad before so I thought I'd write to you
and let you know about the things you will love and the things which you
just need to accept as part of the journey and of travelling.
So where to start? As with all journeys, let's start at the beginning!
Once you land in the USA, you have to go through quite a lot af security.
The key to surviving tltis in good humour is to just wait paticntly in line
and don't get tcto worrled about the crowds. Everyone is very helpful and,
as long as you have your visa and your passport, you will sail through.
Once you have done that, you need to make sure you pick up your
luggage (my dad forgot to do this once...) and then either get in a taxi or
get the bus. As it is your first time in New York, get a yellow taxi into
Manhattan as it is an amazing experience and makes you feel like you
have really arrived! I wouldn't be surprised if you find your taxi driver
very friendly and talkative, which will all help you to feel more at home.

For your first day, just take it easy. I went on a ferry around
Manhattan to get a feel for the place. It can be quite busy and noisy with
lots of families with small cttilCren, but you will get used to this. In some
places, you wi!! think that llew Ycrk lust looks like LonCon, only more so/
with even taller buildinEs and many of the same shops, but ihere are
some truly unique sights such as the Statue cf Liberty which yau wrli iove
- ii looks exactiy fhe sa,Te;s ;l Cces ln that film we saw iast yearr si)
take lots of piciur=s i.r.r r.r-:€rbe r iis amazing history.

Take the iine to have a goc} lock a;-cund on fcct as'ic)u cen G€i a
fentastic persS:ccttva an;i;2 t,ich butiJings and mingie wlth;:li the
different lecplt:, ari(i .,"ih{.t: i i,:'/ Jlfferi,.t { r=ei!','n?en'.1iff:,rtr:t. r.,:;,"..i
46
York has all races and all sorts! We always laugh when we go there about
how loud everyone talks on their phones so you can hear everything that
everyone is saying. Make sure you get a good map from the hotel you
are staying at. Sometimes, maps can make places seem really near when
they aren't. we used one last time to get to a museum and ending up
having to queue for about an hour as we were late. We were also really
messy and boiling hot so make sure you leave enough time and don't
need to run for anything.

I do have to mention a few possible disappointments. The food is

great in some ways, but, if you eat everything put in front of you, you will
swell up like a balloon. Also, there are some parts of the city still where
you could meet people living in real poverty. I should avoid areas like
that. You'll find out easily enough which parts of the city are not great to
v isit.

Have a great time - once you have been once, you will want to go
again and again as there is so much to see and experience, Send me a
postcard !

See you when you get back.

Anna

XXXXX

Examiner comrnemt

The letter is written in an appropriate register for a letter to a friend and

all of the bullet points are covered fully. The comments are well-focused
and developed and they draw on the two passages successfully. There are
perceptive references and the ideas are persuasive and informative. The
tone is strong and the structure assured, with good use of humour and
varied vocabulary. Original points are also included.

Levet 5-AO1 -1O; AO4 -L2;AO5-8-3Omarks

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