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Dead Star

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Dead star by Paz Marquez-Benitez

Alfredo Salazar was betrothed to Esperanza, his girlfriend for four years. The start of their
relationship was relatively “warm”, with Alfredo wooing Esperanza like a man in dire
lovesickness. But as the years went by, the warm love’s fire slowly flickered. And it was
because of Julia Salas.

She was charming and gleeful. He shared moments of light but sometimes deep
conversations with her when the lawyer Alfredo visited Julia’s brother-in-law, who was a
judge. He always went there with his father and since it was his father who needed to talk to
the judge, he was always left to Julia’s company. He never told her he was engaged. At first
he didn’t notice that a change in his heart was taking form. But then he started keeping
details of his activities to his fiancée and then the guilty feeling crept in. When he found out
that Julia was about to head back to her distant hometown, he felt blue and frightened.

He met her in church after the Holy Thursday procession, although he knew that Esperanza
was already waiting for him. He approached her and she conversed with him with an
expression that told him she finally knew. She congratulated him and said she will be at his
wedding. Then they parted.

When he visited Esperanza in her house, he overheard her talking to another woman about
infidelity and immorality, to which he reasoned in favor of the condemned. The statement
caused an intense fury to Esperanza and she told him that she knew. She dared Alfredo to
abandon her, along with morality and reason and her dignity as a woman as well as her
image before the society all for the sake of his “being fair to himself”.

Eventually the wedding took place. And after several years, Alfredo was sent to a distant
village due to a legal assignment. It bothered him so much because it was near Julia’s
hometown. But he still found himself making his way to her house despite of himself. And he
found her there, just as how and where he expected her to be. She never married. And he
wondered how life would be if he ended up with her. But all was too late and he could never
bring things back. He also noticed that Julia lost something, albeit the fact that he didn’t
know what that is – youth, love, luster? And when he looked at her he doubted if she ever
cared for him, if he has mistaken the past light in her eyes as manifestations of a possible
romance. But now they’re all gone. And so it was indeed all done.

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